CHAPTER TWELVE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HELLFIRE!
Wheeeeeee!! Auron no Aijou (guy who made Hellfire Guado) told me it was his birthday on Oct. 14! Since it's so close, we're gonna celebrate his birthday! Hey, I'll do this for everyone else too, ya just gotta tell me yer birthday.
And now, for the disclaimer:
The various Final Fantasy people belong to Square
Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy
Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou
AngelKnight belongs to angelknight
Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar
BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy
Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12
VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)
Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow
Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon
DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress
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Auron no Aijou: *walks happily in a dark room*
*lights go on*
Everyone (including Linnet) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AURON!!
Auron no Aijou: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! *dives behind couch*
Chibi-Auron: Dun be shy! It's yer birthday party!!
G.S: Chibi-Auron planned it all so you better like it.. *unsheathes Masamune* OR ELSE!
S.S: -_-" Where's the food?
Auron no Aijou: Oh.. hey, you remembered!
Linnet: I did?
Seymour: *gasp!* Linnet remembered something!
BloodProphicy: Ain't that grand! *accidentally *shoots Seymour in the back*
Seymour: Ow
Rufus: *pours Morphine* ^^ Here ya go!
DreamHuntress: We appreciate your concern, Rufs, but Seymour doesn't need painkillers...
Rufus: *takes a moment to process this in his dull, STRAWBERRY-BLOND mind* ... Morphine is a painkiller?
Corey: *looks at Rufus's hair* Well, it is strawberry!
Rufus: WHERE?? GET THEM OFF, GET THEM OFF!
Ark Dragon: Must...kill...stupid...ex...president..
Raven: Sheesh.. ya know, all the sudden I have a strong craving for toast with strawberry jam...
Rufus: *running around* GET THEM OFF!! GET THEM OFF!!
Hellfire Guado: Well, this is nice and all...
VZG: *pokes Vinnie* We have to play the games now! First off...
Vinnie: *eye twitches*
Chi-Su: No, Vinnie, we don't do eye twitching contests.
Vinnie: :(
Auron no Aijou: Actually, I just wanted to spend my birthday quietly..
Sephy: Let's eat now! I wanna eat Vinnie's Chocobo!
Dr. Matoki: Ah, yes, nothing like fried chocobo!
Vinnie: Huh? You mean.. Schala?
Dr. Matoki: Hey, we had to cook it for the birthday party...
Vinnie: BUT YOU EAT CAKE, NOT FRIED CHOCOBO!
Auron no Aijou: WHO COOKED A CHOCOBO??
Sephy: ??
AngelKnight: HEY!! WHAT ABOUT ME!! Linnet, why don't I have any lines?
Linnet: 15 PEOPLE TO MAKE UP LINES FOR! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! *runs away*
AngelKnight: ... Oh well. I'm still hungry, let's eat the chocobo.
Vinnie: *goes to the kitchen and sees what used to be Schala, the River Chocobo.
Now she's a nice...juicy...plump...edible...golden...roasted...chocobo...*
Chibi-Auron: Ain't she grand?
Vinnie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G.S: -_- I told you we shoulda caught one near the Icicle Inn..
S.S: Naw, the ones that are easy to cook are too scrawny and the WONDERFUL CHOCOBOS there are too cold to eat...
*******
(so now, the party starts)
Auron no Aijou: Forget all the party crap, I just want food and my presents! Where's the cake? I can't stand it.. eating a Chocobo.. how can you people be so cruel..?
S.S: Cake? Sis, go get it
G.S: I thought you got the cake...
Chibi-Auron: No, AngelKnight had to get the cake..
AngelKnight: I thought Dr. Matoki did...
Dr. Matoki: No, getting the cake was Raven's job...
Raven: Hell no! You said Ark Dragon had to get it!
Ark Dragon: But Seymour said he was getting it!
Seymour: I said Sephy was getting it...
Sephy: But I told Rufus to get it!
Rufus: VZG wanted to get it, so I let her get it.
VZG: No you didn't! DreamHuntess wanted to get the cake!
DreamHuntress: Nuh-uh, Vinnie wanted to get the cake.
Vinnie: I would have gotten the cake, if I knew what you were planning to do to
Schala! Wasn't Blood gonna get the cake?
BloodProphicy: Naw! I'm a king, I don't do simple deeds! I ordered Corey to get it...
Corey: You guys never tell me anything! I never was told anything about no cake!
Auron no Aijou: ... So I have no cake?
All: ...
Auron no Aijou: But it's my birthday! I need a cake! No cake, no presents! WE NEED A CAKE!! THE WHOLE DAMN BIRTHDAY DEPENDS ON THE CAKE!
Corey: But who's gonna get the cake? Count me out.
Vinnie: Me too... too late to save Schala...
BloodProphicy: I have to torture Seymour. Can't.
DreamHuntress: I have to protect Seymour from Blood.
VZG: *pokes Vinnie* Someone's gotta poke Vinnie!
Rufus: I'm gonna get lost, this place is too big for poor, dumb, strawberry-blond me...
Sephy: I'm scared, it's dark now...
Seymour: I might get attacked by anti-Seymour fans.. OR WORSE! FANGIRLS!
Ark Dragon: Have to sharpen my katana. Tradition, ya know
Raven: I have to help DreamHuntress defend Seymour
Dr. Matoki: I have a bunch of new inventions to tweak before they explode.
AngelKnight: I gotta phone Reno!
Chibi-Auron: You aren't gonna send a poor child like me to the dark streets, are
ya??
G.S: I have to look after Aurrie!
S.S: ... I have to help mah sis. I am his uncle, after all.
Auron no Aijou: OH FINE! I'LL GET THE DAMN CAKE!
All: Yay!
Auron no Aijou: (sheesh, it's my damn birthday and they don't even offer to buy the damn cake they forgot..)
*Auron no Aijou stomps out*
Dr. Matoki: ... Hey! He's gone! Now we can go get the presents!
Raven: Oh yeah! S.S, yer a genius! Thanks!
*Everyone goes out to buy the presents, except Sephy, who didn't forget*
Sephy: ... I hope Auron no Aijou likes Campbell Soup...
*************
(after Auron gets back)
Auron no Aijou: Good! I got the cake! Let's eat it AND open the presents!
Chibi-Auron: We gotta sing Happy Birthday first!
Corey: Did anyone bring candles..?
All: ...
Auron no Aijou: &%*5... well, someone get the candles!
Corey: I can't! My present has to be heated!
Rufus: Mine needs to be kept fresh...
Chibi-Auron: I'm too young to go...
G.S and S.S: We have to keep Chibi-Auron from stealing the present..
VZG: Me and Chi-Su have the practice.. for...something...
Sephy: I have to keep my pressie from spilling...
Raven: Uh... I can't go cuz I lost my glasses...
Auron no Aijou: But you don't wear glasses!
Raven: I do now!! *shows Lenscrafter glasses case*
Ark Dragon: I have to sharpen my present. Tradition, you know.
Dr. Matoki: My present must be kept stable. It might blow up...
AngelKnight: Reno is bringing my present, I have to wait for him!
Seymour: Blood might ruin our present if I'm away.
BloodProphicy: I have to ruin Seymour's present.
DreamHuntress: I have to protect our present.
Auron no Aijou: &^%%&$^$%$^&^)^^$%$#@$#@$E^R%....... I'll go...
All: Yay!
*Auron leaves once more*
Corey: Now we can get birthday cards! YAY!
*Everyone else scrambles, except Rufus, who is making his*
Rufus: *draws stick figures, one with strawberry blonde hair and another one with it's head on fire* There! I'll write Best friend on it... hehehehehe...
*********
(Auron comes back, looking very pissed)
Auron no Aijou: CAN WE JUST SING THE &%&%* SONG AND OPEN UP THE PRESENTS??
Chibi-Auron: How old are you?
Auron no Aijou: ...
Linnet: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! I FORGOT TO ASK HOW OLD HE WAS!! I'M A FAILURE!! A FAILURE!!
Auron no Aijou: Calm down, it's just an age, sheesh...
Linnet: BUT WE NEED TO PUT THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF CANDLES ON THE CAKE!!
Auron no Aijou: *sigh* Who cares.. just put a random number..
Linnet: *flinch*
Chibi-Auron: *shrugs and puts the number of candles equal to the number of times Linnet died in Final Fantasy X*
Auron no Aijou: I'm not 205 years old, Auron...
Chibi-Auron: Sowwie! *puts around 10-25 and lights them. Blah*
Everyone: ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AAAUUURRRROOONN...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AURON!
Linnet: Make a wish!
Auron no Aijou: (thinking) I wish that a meteor will fall from the sky as you people leave and kill you all.. except for the ones that gave good presents..*blows candles*
Everyone: YAY!!
Auron no Aijou: Can I have my presents now?
Chibi-Auron: Here's mine!
Auron no Aijou: *opens box*
Chocobo: Kweh!!
Auron no Aijou: CHOCOBO!! YAY!! *huggles it* Me like! I'll name you Choco-Auron, Hehehe.. only cuz Linnet can't think of a better name...
Chibi-Auron: ^^ That was from me, Mommy and Uncle Silver!
G.S and S.S: (it cost a lot too...)
Auron no Aijou: *puts Choco-Auron on head and goes back to unwrapping presents*
Choco-Auron: Wark!!
Auron no Aijou: *unwraps present from Seymour and DreamHuntress* Hey, it's a...shiny...rainbowy...dagger... HEY! ARE YOU SAYING I'M GAY??
Seymour: No! That's the most powerful dagger I could find...
DreamHuntress: Yes, because we are.. ah, short of funds...
Auron no Aijou: Oh well... *shrugs*
*Somewhere in Linnet's home*
Kidd: Oi! Kaz! Have ya seen my Rainbow Dagger??
*Back to the party*
Auron no Aijou: *unwraps present from Rufus* ...Strawberries?
Rufus: Ummm... yeah...
Auron no Aijou: I'm glad I didn't let you go buy the cake or anything... Oh well *eats them* Mmm... fresh!!
Rufus: ^^
Auron no Aijou: *gives one to Choco-Auron*
Choco-Auron: WARK!!
Dr. Matoki: Here's mine! Careful, it might blow up..
Auron no Aijou: *slowly unwraps it* Hey.. was this?
Dr. Matoki: A Death blow machine, of course!! From the Ashtear model, but I modified it so it can fit in yer pocket..
Auron no Aijou: Hmmm... this can kill anyone?
Dr. Matoki: ANYONE. Armor can barley deflect it..
Auron no Aijou: (note to self: Test on Rufus)
Auron no Aijou: *grabs AngelKnights present* Um... it's a Reno plushie...
AngelKnight: I KNOW! I have one too!!
Auron no Aijou: Um... thanks?
Reno plushie: ...*grins, then turns back to normal*
Auron no Aijou: *scoots away from the plushie* Who's next?
VZG and Chi-Su: Us! We made a song!
Auron no Aijou: ... Um, yay??
VZG: watch!!
*lights appear, a forest scene is in the background, and VZG and Chi-Su are wearing curly wigs*
VZG and Chi-Su: Ooooh..
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL!
WHO HAD PRETTY CURLS!
WHO LIVED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOOOOORRREESSSSTT!
AND WHEN SHE WAS GOOD!
THE ANIMALS WOULD COME!
AND SHE'D HAVE A BIG BARBEQCUE! WHOO!
Auron no Aijou: *is deeply disturbed* Thanks...
Raven: Here's my present! *gives Hellfire a sphere of water*
Auron no Aijou: *remembers the incident a long time ago at the beach* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Raven: Hehehehehehe...
Auron no Aijou: *cowering behind chair* (Note to self: Test death blow machine on Raven, not Rufus)
Ark Dragon: I have.. a pencil.
Auron no Aijou: *takes the pencil* Ummm...
Ark Dragon: And look, I sharpened it for you too!
Auron no Aijou: I'm.. touched..
Ark Dragon: It's a magic pencil. It will refuse to work of you have to sign any contracts that have fine print in them so you don't get duped.
Auron no Aijou: Alright! *pockets it*
Corey: And here's my present! *Corey gives Hellfire Guado a plate of sushi*
Auron no Aijou: Ooooh! Sushi!! Me likes!
Corey: ^^
Sephy: MY PRESENT!! Here!! *gives Hellfire Guado some of that Campbell Soup in a drinkable container..*
Auron no Aijou: Um, wow... looks like I'm never gonna go without breakfast again...
Sephy: Yay!
Auron no Aijou: ... Well, this was an OK birthday party..
G.S: OK??
Auron no Aijou: I mean, this was the best birthday party I ever had, and I gotta go no.. *runs out*
Linnet: That was good!
*seconds later, meteors shower down and hit Linnet*
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So, happy birthday, Auron no Aijou! ^^ Now excuse me, I'm off to physical therapy..
And remember, I'll do this for anyone in the story. So all you other people just tell me if yer birthday is close and I'll do a birthday fic!!
And Auron, if I deeply offended you, I am very sorry. ^^;