CHAPTER FOURTEEN: OK, BACK TO THE STORY...
No more distractions, the story is back. LOL. For some odd reason... I don't want to finish FF7...
Oh, btw, I heard Spongebob Squarepants is ending or something? My friend's boyfriend says the show is coming to a close or something and I'm not sure... is this true? Tell me it's some sad rumor.. please...
Anyway, now for the copy and pasted disclaimer!
The various Final Fantasy people also belong to Square
Golden Sephy and Silver Sephy belong to Golden-Sephy
Hellfire Guado belongs to Auron no Aijou
AngelKnight belongs to angelknight
Dr. Matoki belongs to GenimiDeathStar
BloodProphicy belongs to BloodProphicy
Corey belongs to TailsShadowVivi12
VZG belongs to Kate (vampirezombiegirl)
Raven belongs to The Great Kaiser Shadow
Ark Dragon belongs to Ark Dragon
DreamHuntress belongs to DreamHuntress
On with the fic!
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*Cut to Guardia Castle*
Serge: AHEM! CRONO! ONE OF YOUR LOYAL FANFICTION WRITERS REFUSES TO UPDATE HER STORIES!!
Crono: Hm? And who is this fanfiction writer?
Serge: Her name is chibilinnet, sir, and she has been wasting time playing Kingdom Hearts and doing school projects!
Crono: *slams fist down* OW! I mean, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! CHAIN THE AUTHOR TO HER COMPUTER!
Serge: It seems she is already chained down sir...
Crono: Oh... wait, how can she work then?
Serge: *blanks out* I don't know sir... I don't know...
Crono: WELL, FIND OUT DAMMIT! No one shirks work from my watchful eye!
Serge: YES SIR! *runs out*
Crono: Wow, those English As A Second Language classes really help out!
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=*The Playground of Dooom*=
Chibi-Auron: *is toddling around*
Random Bully of Doom: %$&@!
Random Bully of Doom's lackey: &^%((!
Chibi-Auron: %$&@!? &^%((!? What do those mean?
*Somewhere on the other side of the playground*
Hellfire Guado: So like I said... HEY! I'm back in the story!
G.S: *nods, then freezes* Someone...swore...in...front...of...Aurrie...
KKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*Golden-Sephy unsheathes Masamune and jumps over to the Bullies of Doom. She hacks and slash them*
G.S: NEVER...*slash!*...SWEAR... *hack!*...IN...*stab!*...FRONT...*blood!*...OF...*gore!*...AURRIE! *sploitch!*
Hellfire Guado: ... Sploitch?
G.S: I was running out of sound-effects...
Chibi-Auron: *gasp!* MOMMY KILLED THE BULLIES!! YAY!!
Other kids: HOORAY FOR AURON'S MOMMY!
Hellfire Guado: ... What about me?
Random kid: What about you?
Hellfire Guado: I'm back in the story!
Other kids: AURON'S OLDER BROTHER IS BACK IN THE STORY! YAY!!
G.S: Anyway, our job here is done...
Chibi-Auron: Or IS it? *points to Valefor flying overhead*
G.S: THERE HE IS! HELLFIRE, SHOOT IT!
Hellfire Guado: *shoots it, and then gets crushed* AHHHH! FOR AN ANOREXIC BIRD, HE SURE IS ^%&$ING HEAVY!!
G.S: *gasp!* YOU SWORE!
Hellfire Guado: Yes. Now get this thing off me.
G.S: No, because you swore! Aurrie, Mommy says don't help the mean old man until he says he's sorry!
Chibi-Auron: OK, Mommy!
Hellfire Guado: WHAT?? ALL CAUSE I ^%*(ING SWORE??
G.S: YOU SWORE AGAIN! Now you have to stay under the bird for 2 hours! Aurrie, let's go get some ice cream.
Chibi-Auron: OK! ... Can we get some for Hellfire too?
G.S: *flinch* Fine.. let's go!
*Both stride off, leaving poor Hellfire trapped under Valefor*
Hellfire Guado: Guys? Hey, don't leave me!... I didn't even tell you what ice cream flavor I wanted yet...
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=*Shinra building*=
*The girls get off the elevator and head into the lab, much to their disgust*
DreamHuntress: Are you sure we can't kill Hojo?
AngelKnight: Not unless we bump into Reeve first.
Dr. Matoki: What chance would be there of Reeve being on this floor??
Reeve: *trips over a spare tool and goes flying, stopping right in front of the trio*
Cait Sith : HEY! WHEN ARE WE GONNA FIND RUFUS?? I miss sitting on his strawberry head... Mmmm... strawberries...
Reeve: Shut up, ya stupid cat!
Cait Sith: Bite me!
Reeve: Why the hell did I ever take adopt you??
Cait Sith: You wanted a kid, but kids annoy you.
Reeve: ... I hate you.
Dr. Matoki: O_o... I thought Reeve and Cait Sith were the same...?
Reeve: Oh no! Cait Sith is Rufus's creation! Do you think I'm insane enough to make something has stupid as HIM?? *points to Cait Sith*
Cait Sith: ... I like tea.
AngelKnight: Yep, Rufus made him alright.
DreamHuntress: Hey, Reeve, do you know the Monster Arena guy from FFX?
Reeve: That's the same crap Cait Sith is asking me!
Cait Sith: Rufus said you knew!
Reeve: You, shut up.
Cait Sith: *sticks tongue out* ... I like morphine too...
Reeve: Hojo might, he's talking some crap about fake Megalixers and a cheap imitation Nirvana rod...
AngelKnight: Hey! That must be it! OK, thanks for nothing Reeve!
Reeve: That's OK! Here, take Cait Sith, I'm sick of him! *Reeve runs away*
Cait Sith: *follows* NO!! DADDY, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
Dr. Matoki: ... That was... odd.
DreamHuntress: No kidding.
Hojo: Ah! You three must be my new specimens?
Dr. Matoki: You wish. Actually, we are here to ask you about the Monster Arena Guy from FFX!
Hojo: ... I know nothing of it.
AngelKnight: That's not what Reeve said.
Hojo: ... I hate Reeve... Very well, I do know him... I send him cheap Megalixers and a cheap imitation Nirvana rod, why?
Dr. Matoki: What's so cheap about them? What's the difference from a real Megalixer?
Hojo: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! That's the beauty of it! THERE IS NONE!!
All: ...
Hojo: So... shall we start testing?
AngelKnight: KILL!!
*All three kill Hojo, very quickly, but not painlessly.*
DreamHuntress: ^^
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=*Darkness of Time*=
Rufus: Is Ark back yet?
Raven: No.
Rufus: Is Ark back yet?
Raven: No...
Rufus: Is Ark back yet?
Schala: can you make him shut up? Fry his brain or something...
Raven: *thinks* ... I GOT IT!! *turns to Rufus* Mary's mom had four kids. One was called North, the other West, the other South. What was the fourth child?
Rufus: East!
Raven: No, it's Mary.
Rufus: HOW??
Raven: Think about it...
Rufus: *thinks*... ... ... ...*slumps forward, asleep*
Schala: How you do that?
Raven: Magic!
Lavos: I JUST BAKED SOME COOKIES?? WANT SOME??
Rufus: Cookies??
Schala: HE WOKE UP!! ;_;
*Rufus grabs the tray and stuffs all the cookies down his throat. Unfortunately, he chokes*
Lavos: Oh no! I have to... Oh, no now I have to summon Chronopolis to 2400 AD so the Time-Loop is stable and I don't unleash screaming temporal doom. I'll be back in a few!
Raven: NOW!!
*Raven and Schala throw Rufus into a random plot hole.*
-In the End of Time-
Ark Dragon: *emerges from the End of Time gift shop* Well, that was easy! I got plenty of booze to keep Schala happy!!
Zim: STUPID HUMAN! YOU ALMOST STEPPED ON MY TEST SUBJECT!
Ark Dragon: *looks down* ... A piggy?
Zim: YES! I must punish those Nickelodeon fools for canceling my show! NOW, TO UNLEASH SCREAMING TEMPORAL DOOM!
Ark Dragon: Oo"
(A/N: Yeah, I know the cancellation of Invader Zim is old news, but I was reading something about the Dead Sea from Chrono Cross and the phrase "Temporal Inertia" popped up. I remembered that quote and I HAD to use it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=*Chibi-Demon Land*=
BloodProphicy: *is playing Britney Spears*
Seymour: STOP THE MUSIC, STOP THE MUSIC!
BloodProphicy: *wearing the world's best set of earplugs* WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU?
Seymour: STOP...THE...MUSIC!
BloodProphicy: *motions for the music to be stopped*
Seymour: YAY!
BloodProphicy: *takes out earplugs* Now then, how else shall I torture you?
Seymour: You're supposed to be helping the others one their meaningless sidequest to find out where the Monster Arena guy gets his stuff!
BloodProphicy: And miss up the chance of torturing you? Nah-uh.
Seymour: So... your part of the story will comprise of you torturing me??
BloodProphicy: Yep..
Seymour: WHY, LINNET, WHY??
Linnet: *pops in* BECAUSE, SEYMOUR! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO?? DO YOU?? DO YOU??
Seymour: Yes!
Linnet: OK! I have this person whom I call a friend. She has FFX. She annoys me, BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE FIGHTS YOU, SHE CALLS ME UP AND PLEADS FOR HELP, AND BECAUSE HER CHARACTERS ARE BEYOND CRAPPY, I HAVE TO TAKE UP THE JOB OF BEATING YOU TO LITTLE PIECES!!
Seymour: ... Well, you can just refuse...
Linnet: No! Because then she'll phone... all...the...time... and it won't stop... *blanks out* It...won't...stop...
BloodProphicy: Um... OK... *ties Seymour up to a giant slab of meat and hangs him over a shark tank* So, what are your last words before I feed you to Squall?
Squall: IT'S LEON!
BloodProphicy: I AIN'T TALKING 'BOUT YOU! I'M TALKING ABOUT MAH SHARK!
Squa-er, Leon: Oh... *walks away*
Seymour: No! Please! I'll do whatever you want!
BloodProphicy: Anything?
Seymour: *nods*
BloodProphicy: Good. Because I want you to fall in the tank and get mauled by
Squall. MY SHARK, THAT IS...
Leon: *sulks away*
*Blood drops Seymour*
Seymour: NOOOOOOOO-AUGH! PAIN! MY SPLEEN!
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=*Classroom of Doom*=
Corey: WE DID IT! JINN IS DEAD!
Squall: Lemme... HEY! AUTHOR! I SAID MY NAME IS LEON!
FF8 Squall: Leon? What the hell you doing here, this is MY part in the fic!
KH Leon: *grumbles and walk away*
FF8 Squall: ... So, like, what kind of illegal ROM are you guys playing on my computer?
Silver Sephy: Oh, we just beat Jinn so we could borrow the Ragnorok...
FF8 Squall: Ya didn't need to do that! All ya had to do was ask...
Sephy: ... So, we did this for nothing?
FF8 Squall: Pretty much.
*someone slamming the piano keys is heard, as all three scream "NOOOOOOO!!!"*
Squall: Yo, chill out, dudes, it's all right! Here are the keys...
Silver Sephy: YAY! hey, can this thing cross dimensions?
Squall: If you go fast enough. Just push the Booyaka button.
Corey:... Booyaka?
Squall: It used to be the "Push this button to go really fast and end up in the next
Final Fantasy", but Selphie changed it to the Booyaka button.
Sephy: ... COOL! CAN WE SEE IT??
Squall: Sure... but first, you have to help me with a minor problem...
Silver Sephy: What is it?
Squall: Nothing much... except Pyre flies have overrun the garden and fiends are popping up everywhere and eating the hot dogs, plus destroying any supply trucks coming here so we will starve in a week unless something is done.
Corey: That's a MINOR problem?
Squall: It can get worse. Try angering a sorceress that has PMS.
All: *nod* OK, fine, it's minor...
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*=R section of Fanfiction.net*=
Chi-Su: It's a good thing we got out of the NC-17 section before FF.net totally got rid of all the stories and crushed the section to non-existent bits!
Vinnie: No it's not! My cape was back there...
VZG: *pokes Vinnie* YOU STILL HAVE ME!
Vinnie: ... So?
VZG: *smacks Vinnie* THAT WAS NOT NICE!
Vinnie: AAAHHHH! *falls into a random story*
VZG: Good going, Chi-Su, this is all your fault...
Chi-Su: ME?? WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE MY FAULT!
VZG: Because!
Vinnie: *gets kicked out of the story* Ow.
VZG: VINNIE! *pokes him*
Chi-Su: Anyway, we need a safer area to go to before a new story gets added on the list. Cuz then we'll get crushed.
VZG: *pokes Vinnie* LET'S GO TO THE FF.NET HOMEPAGE! They barely update that thing anyway!
Vinnie: Good idea! *drinks morphine* Ah, I never get tired of morphine...
Chi-Su: AHEM!
VZG: WATCH OUT! *pokes Vinnie* THERE'S A NEW STORY DROPPING IN!!
*All scramble madly as the story drops down.
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Will Rufus escape from the Plot hole? Does Schala know all? Will Vinnie, VZG, and Chi-Su escape the falling fics of doom? Will Hellfire be freed from Valefor? These questions and more, not answered in the next chapter! GWAHAHAHAHAAAA!