"Damnation" By Luke's Dragon
Disclaimer
Still not mine, still trying to change this, still failing to purchase major companies.
A/N
Not got much to say really, just like doing the little author notes sections. As mentioned one of the epigraphs for this chapter is from the fantastic (IMO) Linkin Park. In case you didn't guess the book Blackwargreymon mentions is "The Wizard of Oz" yeah I know he's wrong about a few things but then again he's not much of a literary buff. How did the "The Wizard of Oz" get into the digital word you ask?
…Er…Cody must have dropped it, yeah that sound about right.
Chapter III "Ascension"
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"The sun goes down, I feel the light betray me"
From "Paper Cut" by Linkin Park
"Since I cannot stop Death, I choose to stop life"
Kaervek
~~~
A soul. It seems to be such a simple, intangible thing but knowing that I have one has given me the strength to go on, to continue my lonely wandering through this world. It seems as if I have needed all my strength lately, not merely physical strength I can still best any creature I come across with ease, but the strength to resist my darkness and stay myself.
Myself...? Pah! I am little more than a monster; nothing inside apart from this 'soul' I pretend to myself that I have. What a foolish thought, that I could ever be anything more than a tool of destruction and pain, and yet.
...And yet I cannot find it in myself to just give up, serve the spider woman and bring about more pain and suffering into this world, still I find myself fighting to protect a world which I, so clearly was never supposed to be a part of.
I still cannot find what I am looking for, perhaps because I never knew myself what it was that I was after. I started off looking for a heart and a reason for existing, like in that book where a lion, a robot and some sort of farmyard creature go looking for a heart and some other internal organs. I think that there might have been a girl, a kitten and a road made from yellow stones as well. I suppose it doesn't really matter what color the stones were the point was they found they had all of the things they were looking for inside them all along.
I on the other hand found that I do not. What I do have though, if that lunatic sage is to be believed, is a chance. I have a chance to make my own destiny, to walk my own path and perhaps to save this light forsaken world of darkness and loneliness.
But it seems such a great responsibility, how should I know what path to take and what it is that I should do? My 'soul' and all my voices seem strangely muted on the issue, perhaps it is something of a blessing that I have a little peace but I would dearly love some guidance, someone to tell me just what I am supposed to do.
It's not even a case of simply choosing a path to walk, it feels like I'm in a thick forest without a compass and need to get out. The only way though is to hack my way through dark trees that I cannot see through, I don't know how to get out, or what I might encounter along the way, I just need to escape from the darkness before it crushes me.
I suppose that one would call it a dream, a phantasmic vision that fills my mind. I do not sleep, one advantage of not being real I suppose, but whenever I am not doing something these visions fill my head, either them or the voices.
Since the last time they made me loose myself they have been disturbingly silent, and on the odd occasion that they have spoken to me a new voice has seemed to be keeping them in check. Perhaps it is my soul, whatever the case maybe I am glad that I only need to worry about external demons and not internal ones as well. I just wish that I had some sort of purpose a goal to follow so that I have a reason. Actually there is a cause I could follow, I could take that kid, the one who only had a few letters rather than a real name up on his offer to fight alongside them. One might imagine that their group would be tough to find, but they always seem to be right in the thick of the action, and that's just where I'm going to go to.
Things were looking bleak for the Digi-Destined, Kari and Yolie had not made the trip due to other concerns, leaving just Cody, Davis and TK. Davis had been too busy complaining about Kari rather doing homework than coming with him. He had still been complaining when a group of at least ten Ultimate level Digimon, led by Mummymon had ambushed them. The battle had gone very badly, a near by control spire had prevented any Digivolving, and when Flamedramon and Digmon had been taken out, leaving just Patamon active things were looking bleak.
"So TC any bright plans?"
"If we're going to die at least get my name right"
Just then the sky was torn asunder, a black armored figure exploded onto the battle field, leaping into the sky he focused all his energy, with a cry of "Terra Destroyer!" the world turned bright white. TK felt a sensation of roaring heat wash over him, and could have sworn that he saw their opponents glow briefly before exploding and imploding all at once, then in less than a heartbeat they were reduced to a pile of dust. The armored figure turned to stare at them TK felt Davis grab his arm, but he felt no fear himself. The creature smiled, TK was struck with the impression that this was something that Blackwargreymon had not had much practice at. With that their savior leapt into the air and pursued after the fleeing Mummymon.
The thrill of it all! Such exhilaration, I truly feel alive for the very first time! Flying through the skies, cutting through this doomed world and knowing that there is more. More than the endless cycle of tedium of loneliness and the mindless destruction that used to fill my days. Now I have a purpose and now I'm closing in on the car driven by my target, he races along a quiet desert highway but he cannot out pace me. I wish it was his companion but I'll strike a small blow for whatever cause I'm fighting for. This is the easiest technique, all I need to do is focus all my rage, concentrate on the feelings that I want to destroy everything. I want to destroy that fool down there, but more than that what I really want to destroy is the darkness. The darkness that threatens this world, the darkness that threatens to wipe out the light, the darkness that threatens to take me.
"Terra Destroyer!" But it doesn't connect, he doesn't dodge the attack, no one could ever dodge or block the power of my rage given form. He just sort of vanished into a cloud of mist, a white mist that seems to be closing in on me, wrapping me up in light. Blinding light, what was it TK told me once, 'Those who fear the darkness have never seen the light" or something like that. It burns into my body, blasting away all my illusions that I could ever be anything good, that I could ever bask in the glory of the light.
"How could you be so foolish you are darkness"
"Purpose? You exist to destroy"
The voices! Right back in my head, the second that I let my guard down the come screaming back into my mind, like a meteor slamming into a planet and just about as destructive, and I am grateful that there is no one around to feel the force of my anger. Lost in the pain of the blinding light I pass out with the words of the voice I call my soul echoing around my head.
"Live your own destiny, or die trying"
~~~
And I awake in a strange world, when I blacked out I was in a desert in the Digital World, now I seem to be in some sort of room, filled with computers, though larger than the one the Digi-Destined carry around. And there are tables and chairs designed for people far smaller than I am. Strange but the air feels different, heavier somehow. It's almost as if I am in a different world. My voices seem to feel the same too; I can sense them hiding, sheltering in the back of my mind, scared by this strange place. There seems to be no way out of this place, unless. . .
Attracted by the news Kari ran into the computer room, she took one look then sprinted back to the library to tell Yolie what had happened. Shortly afterward Mr. Hyuga the caretaker went to lock up. He dropped his coffee when he saw that an eight-foot section of wall had been torn away from the building. It looked as if a creature with massive claws had done it. Shaking his head and going to fetch a broom he marveled at how far kids pranks had come since he was at high school.