FINDING HEART
CHAPTER NINE
BY DRAGONWIND
See chapters one and four for disclaimers
A/N: Again, thank you for your wonderful reviews, keep them coming and keep my
muse fed
Unicorn Lady: Your, uhm, suspicion will be addressed in a few more chapters
Pherlaith: I'm glad you're still reading and loving this story
Kate: Well, what can I say...you're great for listening to me on Saturday nights when I'm
stuck
Aranel and Snitter: Thanks as well for your reviews
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa walked over to the couple, clasping her hands in front of her and trying not to
wring them. "May I speak with you for a moment, Iladori?" She saw Lord Elrond look
encouragingly at her before he backed away to speak with Konner.
Iladori lifted her still wet eyes to see Aalyssa's equally tear stained face. "What can I do
for you, Lady Aalyssa?" she asked, her voice a bit rough from crying.
The sudden use of formality threw Aalyssa, who swallowed and glanced at Legolas.
He smiled gently at her, "What is it, Aalyssa?"
"I...not...I wanted to apologize for hurting you. The rumors Marissa and I spread were
uncalled for. I am so sorry."
"But why did you do it, Aalyssa? I never did anything to you. I do not understand how
you could say such vile things about me which you knew were not true."
"I know you did not, Iladori. I had not even met you yet. Marissa kept pointing out
Konner's interest in you and I feared losing him. When she expressed a desire for
Legolas, I was only trying to help her. It was wrong and a horrible thing to do. It is, well,
I thought nothing of it at the time, because it is the way of the Court to do things like
that."
Iladori glanced at Legolas who nodded. "She is right about that, unfortunately."
"For the women, Court is the time to go husband hunting and unfortunately, you got
caught up in it," Aalyssa continued.
Lord Elrond returned to stand behind Iladori. "The ladies of the Court can be very cruel,
Iladori. Especially to one as lovely as you, not to mention being new here."
"I never noticed how cruel it could be before. And I had decided this morning that when
I next saw you I would confess. This is what I wished to discuss with you. The women
attacked before I had a chance to seek an audience with you in private."
Konner walked over and looked at Iladori. "I must apologize also, as I am partly to
blame. Aalyssa would not have been influenced as strongly, had it not been for my
attentions to you."
Aalyssa looked up sharply. "You do not have to apologize, Konner. You did nothing. It
was Marissa and I." She turned her attention toward Lord Elrond. "I am sorry, sir."
"I can see you are truly sorry, my dear."
Iladori finally spoke up. "I can forgive you, Aalyssa." When Aalyssa looked up in
surprise, she added, "If I thought someone was trying to take Legolas from me, I fear I
would have done the same."
Aalyssa smiled shyly at Iladori then turned to Legolas. "Again, I am sorry. I did not
mean to hurt you either."
"I will not lie and say I am not hurt," Legolas began gently. "You hurt me badly. I would
never dishonor Iladori by taking what is not mine to take yet."
"I know I can never make it right between myself and the two of you," Aalyssa
whispered, wiping at her eyes. "I have lost more today than I ever thought possible. I
will return to Konner's room now. I just wanted to apologize." She turned and started for
the door, ignoring everyone watching her with concern.
Legolas reached for her hand and pulled her back. "Iladori has forgiven you. And I can
forgive you because I understand why you did it. But I do want to say, if you needed to
hurt someone, you should have attacked me, not her. She is innocent to all of this." As
he spoke, Iladori spoke quietly to Elrond.
"I will never do anything like this again. I have learned my lesson," Aalyssa said quietly,
pulling her hand from Legolas and starting for the door again.
Elrond looked up from his conversation with Iladori and Konner. "Do not leave yet, Lady
Aalyssa."
"Yes sir," she whispered, sitting down on the chair nearest the door. She nervously
played with her skirt, fearful of her punishment.
Elrond walked over and grabbed another chair, placing it in front of Aalyssa. He sat
down, facing her, and took her hands. "Now, Lady Aalyssa. Please explain to me how
and why this rumor was started and why you saw the need to hurt an innocent
bystander."
"I was afraid of losing Konner's favor and Marissa pointed out several times he was
showing interest in Iladori, whom I did not know at the time. Then she came to me,
expressing interest in Legolas. At the time, I desired to have my two best friends
together. I never considered the hurt we would be causing, as I was used to the ways of
the court. I now see the repercussions of such actions and will not do such a thing
again."
"Words are very powerful weapons in the right hands, Lady Aalyssa. Great steps must
be taken to fix this problem. I will have to bring this matter before Legolas' parents, now
your guardians, and Iladori's parents. They must be made aware of the facts."
"Of course, I understand," she said quietly. "I must face the fact that I am a horrible
person."
Elrond tilted her head up and smiled gently. "Not a bad person, Lady Aalyssa, just a
young woman in love. A truly bad or horrible person would not realize the mistake they
had made, nor apologized or attempt to make it right."
"I tried to stop the women but none would believe me."
"Tomorrow some of the harm will be vanquished."
"May I help in some way?" she asked hopefully.
"Once the healer's exam is over and the findings become known, it will be best. But
until then, you can tell as many as you come in contact with that you spoke ill of the
Princess."
"She is to be examined then?"
"It is the only way I see to convince them thoroughly."
"I will tell anyone I see," Aalyssa assured him. "But none will believe me," she
whispered.
Elrond nodded and looked at her. "The healer's findings will lend credence to your
words. And after the hearing tomorrow, the truth about your parents will also be
known."
Aalyssa sighed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "And then more talk about
me, not that I do not deserve it."
"And some sympathy as well, Lady Aalyssa. Arwen informed me of what was said of
you also in there. Everyone who was near in the hall that night know the truth. And
once that truth is released, you should be treated more fairly." He looked up when the
door opened and Thranduil, Laure, Careman and Myalora entered.
"May I be excused now sir?" Aalyssa asked.
"No you may not." Elrond stood and walked over, pulling Thranduil, Careman and
Konner into a small meeting.
Myalora saw Legolas holding Iladori and speaking softly to her. She decided to leave
them alone and she headed for where Aalyssa sat.
She was on the chair, her eyes cast downward, playing with her skirt. Aalyssa was
growing more fearful of her punishment with every passing minute. 'Will they cast me
out into the forest or into the dungeon? If my real parents threw me out for being
attacked, what is my punishment going to be for this.' She vaguely heard someone sit
down next to her.
Myalora's green eyes darkened with concern. "How are you, my dear?'
"I will be fine, thank you," she mumbled warily.
"Is Konner treating you well or do I have to turn him over my knee?" Myalora inquired
with smile, trying to get Aalyssa to at least look up.
"Konner is treating me fine, thank you for asking, Your Highness," she said politely,
keeping her eyes down.
"Now what do you need?"
"Nothing, Your Highness," Aalyssa shook her head.
"I have been told you have nothing in your closet," Myalora nudged, reaching slowly for
Aalyssa's hand.
"Mother burned everything, as I..." Aalyssa's voice trailed off as she moved her hand
out of reach.
"The gown you are wearing is lovely, but it is a bit old for you."
"It serves it's purpose, it clothes me," Aalyssa whispered, struggling not to cry or show
her fear.
"My daughters have more than enough gowns to share. I am sure Ziellien and Tracimia
would be more than glad to give you a few. And Iladori has a cloak she seldom wears
that would be perfect for your coloring."
Aalyssa wrapped her arms around her midsection again and rocked slightly. "Thank
you but I doubt I will be here to need them," she responded, still without looking up.
Myalora reached over and titled her chin upwards. "Do not worry so, little one, you are
not alone in the world."
"I will be. I have made such a terrible mess of things," Aalyssa uttered as she lost the
battle and began crying again.
Myalora pulled her into her arms. "There, there, little one. Things will get better, I
promise you. Now tell me what bothers you."
Iladori peered over Legolas' shoulder as Konner joined them, and smiled. Konner
turned and smiled also.
"What? I do not understand. What are you two smiling about?" Legolas inquired.
"While you were speaking with Aalyssa, Lord Elrond was sending for our parents,"
Iladori explained. "I asked his men to tell Mother to go to Aalyssa. I knew she would be
beating herself up over this. If anyone can reach Aalyssa and get her to open up, it is
Mother."
"Aalyssa has never been forgiven for anything before, Iladori. And with her low trust
levels right now..."
"I know. That is why I wanted Mother to go to her. Uhm, Legolas? Konner?"
The brothers both looked at her.
"Is it not odd how everything turns back to Marissa?"
Konner's eyes turned angry, "Yes it is. I am quickly losing my patience with letting
Marissa go right now."
"She will hang herself at the hearing, I am willing to bet," Legolas assured him.
"That is the only reason I am not heading her way ready to kill. And Legolas, I am sure
most of what Aalyssa has cried on your shoulder about were lies that Marissa made up.
I have not been with another for almost a year."
"I believe we have all been played, Konner."
"I am also willing to bet that Marissa destroyed any friendship Aalyssa may have tried
to have with someone else in the Court," Iladori commented.
"Iladori," Konner began. "Who do you think pushed you down the stairs?"
"Marissa of course. Especially now with hearing that she wants Legolas. What did your
father say about that note, Konner?"
"That is why Taisin is guarding her. But Aalyssa knows not of the note."
"Best not to give her more worries right now," Legolas agreed.
Aalyssa pulled away from Myalora. "I have done horrible things. I hurt people...people
who did not deserve it. Iladori being one."
"What did you do?"
Aalyssa explained about the rumors she had helped to spread as well as why.
Myalora sighed and nodded. "The court loves those kinds of stories, regardless of how
true they may be."
"I tried to stop them, I tried to tell them they were untrue but they refused to believe
me."
"Iladori will survive," Myalora said with a smile. "Look, already she is speaking
animatedly with Legolas and Konner. Do not look so shocked. She needs to grow a
stronger backbone when it comes to Court."
"The court needs to change," Aalyssa stated firmly, wiping away the remaining tears.
"The Court will never change," Myalora chuckled. "You know that. They thrive on it like
you did and like I once used to."
"It was never this vicious before."
Myalora smiled and hugged Aalyssa gently. "Of course not, you were in the inner circle
before, just as I was. Until one feels the sting of the words, one does not see it."
Aalyssa looked back down at her skirt. "That is so very true."
Laure left the men and walked over. "Aalyssa, what is wrong, little one?"
She looked up at Laure, unable to speak. Finally she managed to say, "Things that I
have done, that I cannot fix."
Laure sat in the chair on the other side of Aalyssa and took her hand, patting it. "It will
be all right. These things work themselves out, little one. You should know that."
She looked over at Laure, still fearful of her punishment. "Excuse me, I have to..."
Aalyssa jumped to her feet and left the room.
"Aalyssa!" Laure called out.
When Konner heard his mother's shout, he came running over. "What is wrong?"
"I was...oh stars, what did I do wrong? I was trying to comfort Aalyssa and she bolted
from the room."
"I will find her, Mother."
Legolas walked over. "She is frightened. I have seen this before."
"What of?" Laure asked, walking over to Legolas. "Why is she frightened of me,
sweetheart.
"This is the first time she has gotten into trouble under our care. She knows what her
mother would have done, she is wondering what sort of punishment you are going to
give her."
"I would not..."
"She does not know that, Mother. She is frightened."
"I will go with you, Konner." Laure stated.
"Certainly Mother."
"Lady Aalyssa!" Taisin called out, walking briskly to keep pace with her as Aalyssa
headed for the stables.
"Go away Taisin." Snow began falling and dusted her hair and eyelashes and Aalyssa
shivered.
"I cannot do that My Lady. Where are you heading?"
"I am saving you the bother of following Her Majesty's orders," Aalyssa informed him,
as she turned to look at him. "I can cast myself out."
"Her Majesty would not do such a thing, My Lady," Taisin stated as he walked up and
grabbed Aalyssa.
"Let me go! Let go of me!" she shouted.
"Aalyssa! Aalyssa! Where are you my love?" Konner called out, Laure walking quietly
behind him.
"Why did I not realize this?"
"It is new for all of us, Mother. Aalyssa!" Konner called out again, hearing her shouting
at someone to let her go. He quickened his pace, stopping in his tracks when he found
her struggling in Taisin's hold. "Taisin. Do not manhandle her!"
"It was the only way I could stop her, Your Highness. I beg your forgiveness."
Laure walked up to Aalyssa. "What is wrong, little one?"
"I am frightened, Your Majesty and am just saving everyone the trouble."
"The trouble of what?" Laure asked, wrapping her arm around Aalyssa and pulling her
from Taisin.
"Of casting me out. I can do that myself. I am sorry for any pain I have caused you and
your family."
"Aalyssa, little one. I would never cast my little daughter out. Why would you think so?"
"If my real parents would throw me away for getting attacked..."
"Little one, come," Laure wrapped her arms around Aalyssa. "Do you remember the
discussion we had in the bathing room? You are my daughter and I do not throw my
children away."
"Then what is the punishment? I do not believe I could take the dungeons."
"Aalyssa, there was no great harm done here. You have already done what I would
have asked of you as a punishment. To face the ones you hurt and apologize. And
maybe forbid you from the weaving room for the duration of court. I do not throw my
children out or into the dungeons. Nor do I beat them."
Aalyssa looked up. "Mother would have..."
"I am your mother now. They may have given birth to you, but they were not real
parents to you."
Konner approached them. "Love, I told you before no one would ever throw you away
again. You have to get past this distrust."
"I know I do," Aalyssa whispered.
"Taisin, would you walk Mother back to the library and tell everyone we will be back
shortly?"
"Of course, Your Highness."
When they were alone, Konner led Aalyssa to a bench and sat her down. "Should we
rethink getting married?"
"No!" Aalyssa turned wide eyes on Konner. "Why would you ask so?"
"I cannot live with you distrusting me and my family. We will not throw you out, but you
persist in thinking so."
"I just do not want to lose you. And they said..."
"It does not matter what they or anyone else said. If you wish for us to be married, you
must stop pushing us away. We only wish to help you and love you."
"I want to be your wife, Konner, that is all I have ever wanted in my life. I love you with
every beat of my heart. Without you I am nothing."
"Then do not push us away. I know you have been hurt terribly. Iladori's mother was
sitting up there trying to help you and you pushed her away."
"But..."
"They have forgiven you. Not everyone is as cold and unforgiving as your mother. You
have apologized and everyone involved understands why you did it. Probably more so
than you do. They are ready to move on and include you in their lives. Careman is
telling Father he will be negotiating your marriage contract. Iladori wants you happy as
does Legolas. Stop dwelling on the past and move forward with us."
"I will try but I cannot help the thoughts that pop into my head."
"I am aware, but instead of hiding them, share them so we can help you destroy them.
Do not let them rule your life. What if Taisin had not been following you and had not
stopped you? I may not have found you."
"I am sorry."
Konner pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. "Do not ever disappear on me
again like that. I was worried when I noticed you were gone. All I want is your
happiness."
Aalyssa looked up at him. "Are we still getting married?"
"Of course," he tightened his arms around her. "I know you are still working your way
through this, but once in a while you need a nudge."
"I am not used to feeling loved," she admitted. "Sometimes I do not know how to handle
it."
Konner nodded and kissed her. "And let Myalora's daughters give you some clothes
until you can get to the dressmaker." He lifted her into his arms to go back inside. "And
running around outside with no cloak. You are going to catch cold," he admonished
gently.
"I have no cloak. My mother never bought me one."
Konner shook his head. "I have plenty, my love." He carried her back into the library
and settled her on the chair. He sat in the chair next to her and took her hand.
Iladori walked over and knelt in front of Aalyssa. "Are you all right?"
She nodded and smiled weakly. "I just have trouble handling things from time to time."
"That is understandable. When we are done here, we shall talk privately," Iladori told
her, getting up to hug her.
Laure grabbed a throw from one of the chairs and walked over to wrap it around
Aalyssa's shoulders.
Aalyssa looked up at Laure and Myalora, "I am sorry."
"It is all right, little one," Myalora assured her.
Elrond looked at the gathering. "Is everything all right here then?" Everyone either
nodded or murmured and he said, "Then you can return to what you were doing
previously."
Konner lifted Aalyssa into his arms. "Where to, love?"
"She is to go to her room, Konner. She needs to rest."
"Yes Mother."
He edged the bedroom door open and lay her on the bed. "So what was your
punishment then?"
"Forbidden from the weaving room for the duration of Court. As if I wanted to ever go
back there anyway."
Konner smiled as he tucked her in. "I want you to stay off of this ankle for the rest of the
day. You will be on it a good bit tomorrow and I do not want too much damage."
"Yes, sweetheart."
He rose to answer the knock on the door, admitting Iladori. "May I speak with Aalyssa
privately, Konner?"
"Of course. Aalyssa, I am going to see if I can find you a snack and bring it up."
"Thank you, sweetheart."
When they were alone, Iladori smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "I really do
forgive you Aalyssa. And I still wish to be friends."
"I would like that as well. Just please forgive me if I have some difficulties with trust."
"I understand, but wish that you would allow yourself to trust me. I will not intentionally
hurt you and I want nothing other than your friendship."
Aalyssa nodded, "Yes, I am beginning to think Marissa used me to her own ends, what
ever they may be."
"All will come out. After the hearing if your ankle is up to it, come along up to our suite
and we will see what gowns we have for you. My sisters are going to love you."
She eyed Iladori warily. "Are they not going to hold what I did against me?"
"Aalyssa, stop worrying about it. You tried to make it right, it was not your fault they
would not believe you. I have forgiven you and as such, my sisters will not hold it
against you either. We all make mistakes."
"Thank you," she whispered softly. Aalyssa sat up and reached over to hug Iladori who
returned the hug warmly.
CHAPTER NINE
BY DRAGONWIND
See chapters one and four for disclaimers
A/N: Again, thank you for your wonderful reviews, keep them coming and keep my
muse fed
Unicorn Lady: Your, uhm, suspicion will be addressed in a few more chapters
Pherlaith: I'm glad you're still reading and loving this story
Kate: Well, what can I say...you're great for listening to me on Saturday nights when I'm
stuck
Aranel and Snitter: Thanks as well for your reviews
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa walked over to the couple, clasping her hands in front of her and trying not to
wring them. "May I speak with you for a moment, Iladori?" She saw Lord Elrond look
encouragingly at her before he backed away to speak with Konner.
Iladori lifted her still wet eyes to see Aalyssa's equally tear stained face. "What can I do
for you, Lady Aalyssa?" she asked, her voice a bit rough from crying.
The sudden use of formality threw Aalyssa, who swallowed and glanced at Legolas.
He smiled gently at her, "What is it, Aalyssa?"
"I...not...I wanted to apologize for hurting you. The rumors Marissa and I spread were
uncalled for. I am so sorry."
"But why did you do it, Aalyssa? I never did anything to you. I do not understand how
you could say such vile things about me which you knew were not true."
"I know you did not, Iladori. I had not even met you yet. Marissa kept pointing out
Konner's interest in you and I feared losing him. When she expressed a desire for
Legolas, I was only trying to help her. It was wrong and a horrible thing to do. It is, well,
I thought nothing of it at the time, because it is the way of the Court to do things like
that."
Iladori glanced at Legolas who nodded. "She is right about that, unfortunately."
"For the women, Court is the time to go husband hunting and unfortunately, you got
caught up in it," Aalyssa continued.
Lord Elrond returned to stand behind Iladori. "The ladies of the Court can be very cruel,
Iladori. Especially to one as lovely as you, not to mention being new here."
"I never noticed how cruel it could be before. And I had decided this morning that when
I next saw you I would confess. This is what I wished to discuss with you. The women
attacked before I had a chance to seek an audience with you in private."
Konner walked over and looked at Iladori. "I must apologize also, as I am partly to
blame. Aalyssa would not have been influenced as strongly, had it not been for my
attentions to you."
Aalyssa looked up sharply. "You do not have to apologize, Konner. You did nothing. It
was Marissa and I." She turned her attention toward Lord Elrond. "I am sorry, sir."
"I can see you are truly sorry, my dear."
Iladori finally spoke up. "I can forgive you, Aalyssa." When Aalyssa looked up in
surprise, she added, "If I thought someone was trying to take Legolas from me, I fear I
would have done the same."
Aalyssa smiled shyly at Iladori then turned to Legolas. "Again, I am sorry. I did not
mean to hurt you either."
"I will not lie and say I am not hurt," Legolas began gently. "You hurt me badly. I would
never dishonor Iladori by taking what is not mine to take yet."
"I know I can never make it right between myself and the two of you," Aalyssa
whispered, wiping at her eyes. "I have lost more today than I ever thought possible. I
will return to Konner's room now. I just wanted to apologize." She turned and started for
the door, ignoring everyone watching her with concern.
Legolas reached for her hand and pulled her back. "Iladori has forgiven you. And I can
forgive you because I understand why you did it. But I do want to say, if you needed to
hurt someone, you should have attacked me, not her. She is innocent to all of this." As
he spoke, Iladori spoke quietly to Elrond.
"I will never do anything like this again. I have learned my lesson," Aalyssa said quietly,
pulling her hand from Legolas and starting for the door again.
Elrond looked up from his conversation with Iladori and Konner. "Do not leave yet, Lady
Aalyssa."
"Yes sir," she whispered, sitting down on the chair nearest the door. She nervously
played with her skirt, fearful of her punishment.
Elrond walked over and grabbed another chair, placing it in front of Aalyssa. He sat
down, facing her, and took her hands. "Now, Lady Aalyssa. Please explain to me how
and why this rumor was started and why you saw the need to hurt an innocent
bystander."
"I was afraid of losing Konner's favor and Marissa pointed out several times he was
showing interest in Iladori, whom I did not know at the time. Then she came to me,
expressing interest in Legolas. At the time, I desired to have my two best friends
together. I never considered the hurt we would be causing, as I was used to the ways of
the court. I now see the repercussions of such actions and will not do such a thing
again."
"Words are very powerful weapons in the right hands, Lady Aalyssa. Great steps must
be taken to fix this problem. I will have to bring this matter before Legolas' parents, now
your guardians, and Iladori's parents. They must be made aware of the facts."
"Of course, I understand," she said quietly. "I must face the fact that I am a horrible
person."
Elrond tilted her head up and smiled gently. "Not a bad person, Lady Aalyssa, just a
young woman in love. A truly bad or horrible person would not realize the mistake they
had made, nor apologized or attempt to make it right."
"I tried to stop the women but none would believe me."
"Tomorrow some of the harm will be vanquished."
"May I help in some way?" she asked hopefully.
"Once the healer's exam is over and the findings become known, it will be best. But
until then, you can tell as many as you come in contact with that you spoke ill of the
Princess."
"She is to be examined then?"
"It is the only way I see to convince them thoroughly."
"I will tell anyone I see," Aalyssa assured him. "But none will believe me," she
whispered.
Elrond nodded and looked at her. "The healer's findings will lend credence to your
words. And after the hearing tomorrow, the truth about your parents will also be
known."
Aalyssa sighed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "And then more talk about
me, not that I do not deserve it."
"And some sympathy as well, Lady Aalyssa. Arwen informed me of what was said of
you also in there. Everyone who was near in the hall that night know the truth. And
once that truth is released, you should be treated more fairly." He looked up when the
door opened and Thranduil, Laure, Careman and Myalora entered.
"May I be excused now sir?" Aalyssa asked.
"No you may not." Elrond stood and walked over, pulling Thranduil, Careman and
Konner into a small meeting.
Myalora saw Legolas holding Iladori and speaking softly to her. She decided to leave
them alone and she headed for where Aalyssa sat.
She was on the chair, her eyes cast downward, playing with her skirt. Aalyssa was
growing more fearful of her punishment with every passing minute. 'Will they cast me
out into the forest or into the dungeon? If my real parents threw me out for being
attacked, what is my punishment going to be for this.' She vaguely heard someone sit
down next to her.
Myalora's green eyes darkened with concern. "How are you, my dear?'
"I will be fine, thank you," she mumbled warily.
"Is Konner treating you well or do I have to turn him over my knee?" Myalora inquired
with smile, trying to get Aalyssa to at least look up.
"Konner is treating me fine, thank you for asking, Your Highness," she said politely,
keeping her eyes down.
"Now what do you need?"
"Nothing, Your Highness," Aalyssa shook her head.
"I have been told you have nothing in your closet," Myalora nudged, reaching slowly for
Aalyssa's hand.
"Mother burned everything, as I..." Aalyssa's voice trailed off as she moved her hand
out of reach.
"The gown you are wearing is lovely, but it is a bit old for you."
"It serves it's purpose, it clothes me," Aalyssa whispered, struggling not to cry or show
her fear.
"My daughters have more than enough gowns to share. I am sure Ziellien and Tracimia
would be more than glad to give you a few. And Iladori has a cloak she seldom wears
that would be perfect for your coloring."
Aalyssa wrapped her arms around her midsection again and rocked slightly. "Thank
you but I doubt I will be here to need them," she responded, still without looking up.
Myalora reached over and titled her chin upwards. "Do not worry so, little one, you are
not alone in the world."
"I will be. I have made such a terrible mess of things," Aalyssa uttered as she lost the
battle and began crying again.
Myalora pulled her into her arms. "There, there, little one. Things will get better, I
promise you. Now tell me what bothers you."
Iladori peered over Legolas' shoulder as Konner joined them, and smiled. Konner
turned and smiled also.
"What? I do not understand. What are you two smiling about?" Legolas inquired.
"While you were speaking with Aalyssa, Lord Elrond was sending for our parents,"
Iladori explained. "I asked his men to tell Mother to go to Aalyssa. I knew she would be
beating herself up over this. If anyone can reach Aalyssa and get her to open up, it is
Mother."
"Aalyssa has never been forgiven for anything before, Iladori. And with her low trust
levels right now..."
"I know. That is why I wanted Mother to go to her. Uhm, Legolas? Konner?"
The brothers both looked at her.
"Is it not odd how everything turns back to Marissa?"
Konner's eyes turned angry, "Yes it is. I am quickly losing my patience with letting
Marissa go right now."
"She will hang herself at the hearing, I am willing to bet," Legolas assured him.
"That is the only reason I am not heading her way ready to kill. And Legolas, I am sure
most of what Aalyssa has cried on your shoulder about were lies that Marissa made up.
I have not been with another for almost a year."
"I believe we have all been played, Konner."
"I am also willing to bet that Marissa destroyed any friendship Aalyssa may have tried
to have with someone else in the Court," Iladori commented.
"Iladori," Konner began. "Who do you think pushed you down the stairs?"
"Marissa of course. Especially now with hearing that she wants Legolas. What did your
father say about that note, Konner?"
"That is why Taisin is guarding her. But Aalyssa knows not of the note."
"Best not to give her more worries right now," Legolas agreed.
Aalyssa pulled away from Myalora. "I have done horrible things. I hurt people...people
who did not deserve it. Iladori being one."
"What did you do?"
Aalyssa explained about the rumors she had helped to spread as well as why.
Myalora sighed and nodded. "The court loves those kinds of stories, regardless of how
true they may be."
"I tried to stop them, I tried to tell them they were untrue but they refused to believe
me."
"Iladori will survive," Myalora said with a smile. "Look, already she is speaking
animatedly with Legolas and Konner. Do not look so shocked. She needs to grow a
stronger backbone when it comes to Court."
"The court needs to change," Aalyssa stated firmly, wiping away the remaining tears.
"The Court will never change," Myalora chuckled. "You know that. They thrive on it like
you did and like I once used to."
"It was never this vicious before."
Myalora smiled and hugged Aalyssa gently. "Of course not, you were in the inner circle
before, just as I was. Until one feels the sting of the words, one does not see it."
Aalyssa looked back down at her skirt. "That is so very true."
Laure left the men and walked over. "Aalyssa, what is wrong, little one?"
She looked up at Laure, unable to speak. Finally she managed to say, "Things that I
have done, that I cannot fix."
Laure sat in the chair on the other side of Aalyssa and took her hand, patting it. "It will
be all right. These things work themselves out, little one. You should know that."
She looked over at Laure, still fearful of her punishment. "Excuse me, I have to..."
Aalyssa jumped to her feet and left the room.
"Aalyssa!" Laure called out.
When Konner heard his mother's shout, he came running over. "What is wrong?"
"I was...oh stars, what did I do wrong? I was trying to comfort Aalyssa and she bolted
from the room."
"I will find her, Mother."
Legolas walked over. "She is frightened. I have seen this before."
"What of?" Laure asked, walking over to Legolas. "Why is she frightened of me,
sweetheart.
"This is the first time she has gotten into trouble under our care. She knows what her
mother would have done, she is wondering what sort of punishment you are going to
give her."
"I would not..."
"She does not know that, Mother. She is frightened."
"I will go with you, Konner." Laure stated.
"Certainly Mother."
"Lady Aalyssa!" Taisin called out, walking briskly to keep pace with her as Aalyssa
headed for the stables.
"Go away Taisin." Snow began falling and dusted her hair and eyelashes and Aalyssa
shivered.
"I cannot do that My Lady. Where are you heading?"
"I am saving you the bother of following Her Majesty's orders," Aalyssa informed him,
as she turned to look at him. "I can cast myself out."
"Her Majesty would not do such a thing, My Lady," Taisin stated as he walked up and
grabbed Aalyssa.
"Let me go! Let go of me!" she shouted.
"Aalyssa! Aalyssa! Where are you my love?" Konner called out, Laure walking quietly
behind him.
"Why did I not realize this?"
"It is new for all of us, Mother. Aalyssa!" Konner called out again, hearing her shouting
at someone to let her go. He quickened his pace, stopping in his tracks when he found
her struggling in Taisin's hold. "Taisin. Do not manhandle her!"
"It was the only way I could stop her, Your Highness. I beg your forgiveness."
Laure walked up to Aalyssa. "What is wrong, little one?"
"I am frightened, Your Majesty and am just saving everyone the trouble."
"The trouble of what?" Laure asked, wrapping her arm around Aalyssa and pulling her
from Taisin.
"Of casting me out. I can do that myself. I am sorry for any pain I have caused you and
your family."
"Aalyssa, little one. I would never cast my little daughter out. Why would you think so?"
"If my real parents would throw me away for getting attacked..."
"Little one, come," Laure wrapped her arms around Aalyssa. "Do you remember the
discussion we had in the bathing room? You are my daughter and I do not throw my
children away."
"Then what is the punishment? I do not believe I could take the dungeons."
"Aalyssa, there was no great harm done here. You have already done what I would
have asked of you as a punishment. To face the ones you hurt and apologize. And
maybe forbid you from the weaving room for the duration of court. I do not throw my
children out or into the dungeons. Nor do I beat them."
Aalyssa looked up. "Mother would have..."
"I am your mother now. They may have given birth to you, but they were not real
parents to you."
Konner approached them. "Love, I told you before no one would ever throw you away
again. You have to get past this distrust."
"I know I do," Aalyssa whispered.
"Taisin, would you walk Mother back to the library and tell everyone we will be back
shortly?"
"Of course, Your Highness."
When they were alone, Konner led Aalyssa to a bench and sat her down. "Should we
rethink getting married?"
"No!" Aalyssa turned wide eyes on Konner. "Why would you ask so?"
"I cannot live with you distrusting me and my family. We will not throw you out, but you
persist in thinking so."
"I just do not want to lose you. And they said..."
"It does not matter what they or anyone else said. If you wish for us to be married, you
must stop pushing us away. We only wish to help you and love you."
"I want to be your wife, Konner, that is all I have ever wanted in my life. I love you with
every beat of my heart. Without you I am nothing."
"Then do not push us away. I know you have been hurt terribly. Iladori's mother was
sitting up there trying to help you and you pushed her away."
"But..."
"They have forgiven you. Not everyone is as cold and unforgiving as your mother. You
have apologized and everyone involved understands why you did it. Probably more so
than you do. They are ready to move on and include you in their lives. Careman is
telling Father he will be negotiating your marriage contract. Iladori wants you happy as
does Legolas. Stop dwelling on the past and move forward with us."
"I will try but I cannot help the thoughts that pop into my head."
"I am aware, but instead of hiding them, share them so we can help you destroy them.
Do not let them rule your life. What if Taisin had not been following you and had not
stopped you? I may not have found you."
"I am sorry."
Konner pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. "Do not ever disappear on me
again like that. I was worried when I noticed you were gone. All I want is your
happiness."
Aalyssa looked up at him. "Are we still getting married?"
"Of course," he tightened his arms around her. "I know you are still working your way
through this, but once in a while you need a nudge."
"I am not used to feeling loved," she admitted. "Sometimes I do not know how to handle
it."
Konner nodded and kissed her. "And let Myalora's daughters give you some clothes
until you can get to the dressmaker." He lifted her into his arms to go back inside. "And
running around outside with no cloak. You are going to catch cold," he admonished
gently.
"I have no cloak. My mother never bought me one."
Konner shook his head. "I have plenty, my love." He carried her back into the library
and settled her on the chair. He sat in the chair next to her and took her hand.
Iladori walked over and knelt in front of Aalyssa. "Are you all right?"
She nodded and smiled weakly. "I just have trouble handling things from time to time."
"That is understandable. When we are done here, we shall talk privately," Iladori told
her, getting up to hug her.
Laure grabbed a throw from one of the chairs and walked over to wrap it around
Aalyssa's shoulders.
Aalyssa looked up at Laure and Myalora, "I am sorry."
"It is all right, little one," Myalora assured her.
Elrond looked at the gathering. "Is everything all right here then?" Everyone either
nodded or murmured and he said, "Then you can return to what you were doing
previously."
Konner lifted Aalyssa into his arms. "Where to, love?"
"She is to go to her room, Konner. She needs to rest."
"Yes Mother."
He edged the bedroom door open and lay her on the bed. "So what was your
punishment then?"
"Forbidden from the weaving room for the duration of Court. As if I wanted to ever go
back there anyway."
Konner smiled as he tucked her in. "I want you to stay off of this ankle for the rest of the
day. You will be on it a good bit tomorrow and I do not want too much damage."
"Yes, sweetheart."
He rose to answer the knock on the door, admitting Iladori. "May I speak with Aalyssa
privately, Konner?"
"Of course. Aalyssa, I am going to see if I can find you a snack and bring it up."
"Thank you, sweetheart."
When they were alone, Iladori smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "I really do
forgive you Aalyssa. And I still wish to be friends."
"I would like that as well. Just please forgive me if I have some difficulties with trust."
"I understand, but wish that you would allow yourself to trust me. I will not intentionally
hurt you and I want nothing other than your friendship."
Aalyssa nodded, "Yes, I am beginning to think Marissa used me to her own ends, what
ever they may be."
"All will come out. After the hearing if your ankle is up to it, come along up to our suite
and we will see what gowns we have for you. My sisters are going to love you."
She eyed Iladori warily. "Are they not going to hold what I did against me?"
"Aalyssa, stop worrying about it. You tried to make it right, it was not your fault they
would not believe you. I have forgiven you and as such, my sisters will not hold it
against you either. We all make mistakes."
"Thank you," she whispered softly. Aalyssa sat up and reached over to hug Iladori who
returned the hug warmly.