FINDING HEART
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BY DRAGONWIND
A/N See chapters one and four for disclaimers.
The rating will be going up to an R with this chapter, for conversations and upcoming
scenes *grin*
Keep my muse fed! Reviews please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa relaxed on the bed, the book Iladori had given her in her hand. Even though
she was not to get out of bed, she had Elspeth help her into a gown before the maid
took off for her date. Aalyssa smiled. "So romantic, Elspeth and Donlugan going for a
picnic by the river," she whispered.
Her mind drifted back to the night she and Konner had made love for the first time.
~Flashback~
It was her coming out party, and it was being held at the Palace, as they all were, so
that all of Mirkwood could attend. After the dancing, she had strolled out to the stable to
see the horses and think. Prince Konner had just returned home earlier that day from
his fostering, and Aalyssa had about fallen over when he greeted her and asked her to
be his companion for the feast. The Prince had gently taken her hand and guided her to
the head table, where he seated her next to him. The two talked quietly throughout the
meal, getting reacquainted.
Konner had asked her to dance, and the feel of being in his arms was overwhelmingly
beautiful. To her surprise, he danced every dance with her, monopolizing her for the
night. Between dances, they spoke quietly. Once when she had looked over his
shoulder at her parents, she caught sight of her Mother and Father's disapproval, but
she tried to ignore it for the night. It was supposed to be one of her special nights.
She remembered them even balking at the idea of the party to begin with, but the
Queen had finally convinced them that all Ladies were to have them and she was to be
no different. It was the only time Mother had purchased a beautiful gown for Aalyssa,
only because she was trying to hide the truth from the other residents of Mirkwood.
Aalyssa climbed the ladder to the hayloft, one of her favorite places to sit and think. It
was quiet and few people knew to seek her out there. She knew she had fallen madly
and totally in love with the Prince, and from the way he had held her, she felt he had as
well.
The door to the stable opened and a voice called out, "Aalyssa? Where are you?"
Konner entered the stable, wondering where she had gotten to. He was pretty sure she
was in here, because as children, he, Legolas and Aalyssa played hide and seek and
he knew she was often found in the stable.
Aalyssa smiled, wondering whether to call out to him, or to let him wonder. The
decision was taken from her when a section of the floorboard broke. With a scream she
fell, landing on top of Konner, pinning him to the ground under her.
She blushed as he lay there, staring at her and trying to catch his breath.
"I am terribly sorry, Prince Konner."
He smiled up at her finally. "It is all right, Lady Aalyssa. No harm done and it was not
your fault."
With a small motion, Aalyssa tried to shift off of him, but his hands reached up to grasp
her shoulders.
"Where do you think you are going, My Lady?" he smiled, running his fingers through
her hair.
"This is hardly appropriate, My Prince," she told him shyly.
"It is not like we are strangers, after all. For many years, you, my brother and myself
played in the stables as well as the edge of the forest."
"That is true. Yet, everything seems. . .different this eve," Aalyssa whispered, her body
having unusual reactions to his touches. Reactions she was not familiar with.
"You have become a beautiful Elf Maiden," he said softly. "Your eyes are the color of
the night sky." Konner sat up, pulling her into his arms. His hand went behind her head
as his lips lowered to capture hers in a kiss.
Surprise shook Aalyssa, who placed one hand on his shoulder and the other behind his
head. Her lips parted at the insistent thrusts of his tongue, allowing him admittance.
She moaned softly into his mouth.
Konner trailed his fingers down her neck, making her shiver under his skimming touch.
He followed the path with butterfly kisses.
Aalyssa tilted her head back, her eyes closed, exposing the soft creamy flesh of her
neck to him. "We cannot do this, Prince," she weakly protested.
"It is Konner. And it feels so right," he murmured. His hand inched down to begin
untieing the laces of her dress.
"I have never felt like this before," Aalyssa said breathlessly.
"If you are afraid I will hurt you, I promise I will not. You have known me forever. In
fact," he whispered, "I believe I may have fallen for you."
"Or under me," Aalyssa giggled. "But seriously, stop it, Prince Konner."
He eased her down on the pile of straw. "We have always been drawn to one another.
Allow me to make love to you, Aalyssa. And please, it is Konner."
Aalyssa looked up into his blue eyes, full of warmth and caring. Her hands moved up to
unlace his tunic.
He smiled seductively, pulling the laces free of her dress. "Lift your arms, love," he
whispered, easing the gown from her shoulders.
~end of flashback~
A soft knock on the door broke Aalyssa's reverie. "Come in," she called out, hoping she
was not too terribly flushed
Iladori slipped in, closing the door behind her. "I do hope I am not disturbing you," she
inquired shyly.
Aalyssa set the unread book down and smiled. "Of course not. Is something wrong?
She asked, seeing the reddish tint to Iladori's skin.
She wrung her hands as she looked at Aalyssa. "You have to understand, I have
always been a warrior and never paid attention to female things. Now, I have
questions," Iladori admitted. "If I go to Mom or one of my other sisters, they would ask
question I do not care to answer."
"Oh, those kinds of questions," Aalyssa smiled gently. "I would be pleased to assist
you. Come, have a seat," she invited, indicating the chair next to the bed.
Iladori walked around the bed and sat down. "Legolas said something to me last night
which I did not understand."
"What did he say?"
"He mentioned Konner not using protection. I do not understand," she admitted, her
look of confusion evident in her eyes.
Aalyssa thought for a moment before speaking. "Protection is. . . well, uhm, something
men use to prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. As Legolas has mentioned,
Konner forgot to use it one night."
"He mentioned something about your eyes and Konner being lost?" Iladori mentioned,
a questioning tone to her voice.
Aalyssa giggled and blushed. "Is that what Konner told him?"
"Apparently, but it made no sense at all to me. But tell me, what is this protection? Is it
something you ingest?"
"No," Aalyssa coughed. "It is not ingested. The man, he. . .," her voice trailed off as she
tried to determine the best way to explain.
Iladori stared blankly at her twin. "He?"
Aalyssa fidgeted slightly. "He takes, well, that is. . .he gets a piece of sheep intestine
and. . ."
"Sheep's gut?" Iladori interrupted. "I do hope it is clean."
"It is. He wraps it around himself before. . ."
"He wraps himself in sheep's gut? I would not want him near me, wrapped in sheep's
gut," Iladori sputtered.
"Er, yes. It, uhm, blocks his. . .that is, he cannot make you pregnant then."
Iladori wrinkled her nose. "Oh, stars. That is so nasty."
"Iladori? You are not. . .it is not as bad. . .Oh, you are not thinking he wraps his entire
body are you?"
"Why would you allow him to touch you, wrapped in sheep's guts? Ugh," Iladori
continued, ignoring Aalyssa.
"He only wraps one part of his body," Aalyssa continued.
"Oh, but still, stars. You let him in you, covered in sheep's gut?"
"Trust me, you do not notice."
Iladori stared at Aalyssa, aghast. "How could you not? It is a sheep's innards."
"Well, when a man and a woman are, uhm, feeling passionate, they are only aware of
one another." A blush reddened Aalyssa's face, the heat reaching her ears. "And
actually, it kind of just feels like skin."
"Where do they get it? Do they just saunter down to the kitchen and ask for sheep's
guts?"
Aalyssa fought the smile which threatened, "No. They get it from an herbalist or healer."
Iladori chewed on her lower lip. "Are they not tubes? How do they prevent it from flying
out the other end?"
"Uhm, no, it is a flat sheet. It is the manner in which it is wrapped, which is kind
of...along the lines of diapering a baby."
Iladori listened intently, wanting to learn. "I think this lovemaking thing is very
confusing."
"No," Aalyssa shook her head. "It only seems that way."
"Men wearing sheep guts on themselves. Oh stars," she shuddered. "Do they not dry
out?"
"Uhm, no, Iladori."
"It is not fresh? I mean, do they go out and kill a sheep just because they want it? Or is
it reusable?"
"No and no it is not. They need a new one each time The herbalist and healer have
something to keep it in."
"I must go and see this," Iladori smiled brightly. "Are they in some jar on a shelf?"
Aalyssa shook her head, chewing on her lower lip. "They will only give them to a male. I
do not even know if they will show you."
"You mean women cannot go and get it? That is not fair."
Aalyssa reached out and held her sister's hand. "Iladori, it is not the woman's
responsibility. Not to mention, her reputation would be ruined if word got out that she
went to procure protection before marriage. I agree that it is unfair."
A frustrated sigh escaped Iladori. "This intimacy thing is very complicated, it is much
easier being a warrior. Surely there are other ways to prevent pregnancy."
"After she is wed, it is acceptable for a woman to visit the herbalist. Then you may
obtain herbs to prevent conception."
"Oh?" Iladori brightened then frowned. "But why not before?"
"Until you are wed, an Elf Maiden must either remain a virgin or be discreet, relying on
the man to handle it. For a maiden, as I said, reputation is everything. If just one of
those court women catch a hint of an unmarried woman procuring protection, they will
create a whirling dervish of rumors, unlike any seen before."
"It still does not seem fair."
"As I said, I agree. I said as much to Mama earlier. But for now, there is a double
standard. It is all right for the man but not the woman. The court women are all eyes
and ears. Trust me, they would find out."
"But Aalyssa, I see them going to men who are not their husbands. The garden was
overflowing with them last night," Iladori responded, her confusion growing.
"I never said they were not hypocritical," Aalyssa said with a sad smile. "They all
believe they are being discreet. But for that, they are in no danger from rumors on that.
They are all afraid to turn one another in, knowing there is someone who can do the
same to them. And on goes the continuing circle of gossip."
"It makes no sense to me at all."
"Now that I am away from it, I do not understand it either."
"Why wed if you are not going to honor your vows? Why cheat on your husband?"
"I do not know," Aalyssa shook her head. "I have only desired Konner. I have never
been curious about another."
Iladori nodded, a questioning look in her eye.
"Yes, Iladori?"
"I need to ask you something, but it is kind of personal."
"We are sisters, twins in fact. You may ask me anything, I have no secrets."
A blush crept over Iladori who smiled shyly and looked down. "When you first made
love to Konner, what was it like?"
"I was just thinking about that night when you knocked. It hurt at first, I will not lie to you
about that. But Konner was gentle and made sure the pain passed before we
proceeded. The things the right man can make you feel is, well, glorious, happy, loved.
But the two must share feelings."
"How painful?" Iladori asked, worried.
"It is, well, a kind of a stabbing pain, because, uhm," Aalyssa reddened. "You have a
barrier that he has to. . .break, before the two of you can make love."
"Ah, yes, I understand about the barrier. Mother says sometimes it is not there because
one has been active, riding horses and such. But stabbing. . . like being stabbed by a
sword?"
"Hmm, well, I would think by a sword would be a bit drastic. Unless he is huge. It kind of
depends. . .on how large he is and how small you are."
"Huge?" Iladori's eyes widened. "How big can they get?"
"It really. . .it depends on the man."
"How do you know how huge he is going to be? Are we talking horse huge here?"
"If he is horse huge, run the other way. I am trying to think of something to compare it
too. And I have only seen Konner, you realize. I would say. . ."
"Is he the same as Legolas?"
"I have never seen Legolas', but I would assume, since they are about the same size,
except Legolas being taller and leaner, I doubt there would be a vast difference. And I
promise it only hurts the first time."
"Is that all there is to it, some pain? Why make such a big deal if it just hurts?"
"It is hard to explain, because it also includes feelings and emotions."
"No, the importance of being a virgin," Iladori sighed.
"Oh, well, because. . .well. . ." Aalyssa cleared her throat. "It is a special gift you are to
give to the man who claims your heart."
"A little pain," Iladori mumbled absently, "Anyone could fake pain. Ooh, it hurts."
"If I did not know about the healer examination," Aalyssa muttered, lifting an eyebrow, "I
would really be concerned by that remark. Why would you have to fake the pain?"
"It just makes no sense, the big deal about being a virgin, if all there is to it is pain."
Realization dawned on Aalyssa, " But also, when you give yourself to that special man,
he also will know because of the barrier he needs to break. If he does not encounter it.
. ." Aalyssa's voice trailed off as she began to think. "But if that was broken by horse
riding. Iladori? Did the healer say there was none?"
"She said I was intact, what ever that means. It made everyone happy."
Aalyssa nodded, "That is good then. Oh, something I forgot to mention. When a woman
makes love for the first time. . .when the man enters her. . .there is blood. And I am not
sure of all of the healer jargon, but you would not be intact anymore."
"Blood? How much blood are we talking about?"
"Yes, blood. Uhm. . it is basically some spotting. Enough to be noticeable. . .if the
wedding night is to be verified."
"Great," Iladori sighed. "Pain and blood. Sounds like going into battle."
"The benefits and the pleasure far outweigh the pain and blood." Aalyssa smiled at her
sister, "Some might say it is a battle for the hearts. But I am sure Legolas will take care
not to hurt you, do not worry."
"It does not sound like he can prevent it. And the pleasure outweighs the pain?"
"He can to a point. I have heard some men are terribly rough and cause great pain."
"Pain and blood, only to get pregnant, causing you to be vilely ill for weeks then go
through labor. You know. . ."
"What Iladori?"
"Remaining a virgin is sounding really good right now."
"No, listen. You will be missing out on a world of wonder, do not allow fear to prevent
you from experiencing love. And as for the sickness and labor of pregnancy, well, it is
worth it to me." Aalyssa absently rubbed her hand over her abdomen.
Iladori leaned her head to one side. "I love Legolas, but I do not know if I want the pain
and blood from being stabbed by some man wearing a sheep's gut."
Aalyssa mouth quirked and she tried her best to stifle a smile. "You know, that is an
image, Iladori. But trust me, the pain is worth it, and is very brief."
"For a short time of pleasure?"
"More than a short time of pleasure, because you carry the feeling within you. Inside of
your heart, and it will never hurt again. From then on, it is pleasure."
"Until you wind up pregnant and have to go through that misery."
"Iladori, being pregnant is not misery. I would not trade this for anything. It is a
wonderful feeling, carrying a precious little life inside that I created with the man I love.
In my mind, it is the most important thing for me to do," Aalyssa stated, still rubbing her
abdomen.
"Just wait until you go into labor for several hours," Iladori scoffed. Then she looked up,
a serious look on her face. "What if he does not fit?"
Stunned, Aalyssa blinked, certain she had misinterpreted the question. "What?"
"What if he does not fit?" Iladori repeated.
"Uhm, you mean, what if Legolas'. . ." Aalyssa saw her sister nod at her. "Iladori, your
body will stretch to accommodate him inside you."
Iladori rocked back. "So let me make sure I have this all straight. I will endure bleeding,
stabbing pain and stretching to accommodate him. All for some pleasure from a man
wearing a sheep's gut?"
"Somewhere, I did not explain something correctly."
"It does not seem fair. Why can I not be the one to wear the sheep's gut and he go
through it all?"
"For one thing, where would you put the sheep's gut? It just does not work that way."
"I do not know, but it seems like I will be doing all of the giving and he will be doing all
of the taking."
"It may seem that way, but he will be doing things that give you pleasure. With his
hands, his lips, uhm, his mouth. You would give each other pleasure. But let me back
up to the pregnancy issue. You do not want children?"
"I do not know. I have never given it much thought."
"Well, I know for a fact you are good with children. I assumed you would want to be a
mother."
"I have just never thought much of it. I never really thought I would meet someone who
would make me interested in having children."
"And does Legolas make you think that way? Or you still have not thought about it yet?"
"I do not recognize the feelings I have when I am around Legolas. I get tingles when he
is near and last night was wonderful."
Aalyssa narrowed her eyes, "And what exactly happened last night, if I may ask?"
"He was kissing me in the garden," Iladori admitted softly.
"And you enjoyed it?"
"Yes, I enjoyed it very much."
"It just gets better from there, Iladori."
"Lys, please call me Dori."
Aalyssa nodded, "Dori. Is kissing the only thing that happened last night?" she asked
with concern.
"Yes," she answered softly.
"You can tell me you know. But if you do not want to, that is all right too."
"He. . .but then he stopped himself. But I did not want him to."
"What did Legolas do?"
"Nothing happened, Lys. But. . . I am scared."
"Why are you scared? Did something I say frighten you? It was not my intention."
"No, Lys, it was not you. He said he wants to wait, but what if I did not please him last
night and he goes to find someone else?"
"You have to understand, Legolas has a strong code of honor. Konner told me Legolas
let him have it for laying with me before we were wed. And Dori, Legolas loves you. He
wants no one else. And I do not think you need worry about not pleasing him."
"I want him to be happy."
"Then just love him and be with him. All he needs to be happy is to have you in his life
and heart. I have never seen Legolas as truly happy as he is when he is with you."
"I wish to be with him badly."
"That is the most important thing. What can I do to help you feel more at ease?"
"I. . . it is just with everything going on, we may not be able to wed for a long time, and
well, I do not know if he is willing to wait that long. Or if I can."
"Impatience I can understand. Dori, Legolas would wait for you."
"Yes, but what if. . .what if something happens to me before the ring is destroyed. It
would hurt him terribly and I could not bear that."
"My only response to that is we are all in danger right now. It would hurt him more if you
push him away. Hope and love are what we need to carry us through this. And you
have that with Legolas."
"I wish we could physically share these feelings."
"Legolas' honor is a difficult thing to get around." Aalyssa smiled at Dori. "There must
be some way though."
"His honor is very important to him. It was all he had when he was growing up. I would
never ask him to give it up."
"No, I know. Maybe if the two of you petitioned Lord Elrond for a special dispensation."
"There usually needs to be some great reason for it. I do not see him agreeing, just
because I want to make love with Legolas. Not after what has come out already."
"Of course not. That would not be the reason you give. But he looks on Legolas as a
son and wishes him happiness."
"It is the true reason, I believe he would know that."
"Are you telling me you only wish to wed Legolas to sleep with him?"
"No, more than that. But I have the feeling they will think we can wait. We have no
pressing issues like you and Konner."
"I do not know about that. Still, you have two people who want to be together, who may
be facing danger together. Their families would wish to witness their marriage."
"I fear people will think I want to marry Legolas. . .hmm. . .how did he phrase it in
regards to his brother, Oh yes. Because Legolas cannot keep it in his pants.
Aalyssa started to laugh. "Poor Konner. Well, I think it is all in the presentation. Maybe.
. .what if Legolas went to his father and explained. Then Dad can go to Lord Elrond and
say he would like to have his sons wed in a double ceremony."
"He has yet to speak to my father yet."
"Yes, he does have to do that first. Has he said he was going to?"
"He mentioned it, but all of the Kingdom rulers have been holding Council today."
"Ah, then I am sure he intends to as soon as he and your father have a free moment at
the same time."
"Our father, Lys."
Aalyssa glanced down, "Yes, I suppose so. I would like to actually get a chance to
speak with him and get to know him."
"He is going to love you. Lys?"
"Yes?"
"What if Legolas' mother does not like me? She will stand in the way of our wedding."
"She will not. From what I understand, she realized a lot of things the night my parents
had me. . ." Aalyssa paused, putting one hand against her mouth, willing herself not to
cry.
Iladori sat on the bed and reached out with one hand to place it on Aalyssa's shoulder.
"Konner saved you though."
She took a deep breath and continued, "She has been different with Legolas since, and
wants him happy."
"But, what if she decides I am not the one to make him happy. I am not the most lady
like of the women here."
"Dori, she can see how happy you make him. She will not interfere, trust me on this.
Konner and Legolas were raised to marry for love. . .and Mama knows how much
Legolas loves you."
"What if she does not like me, but says she does to make him happy?"
"Yesterday, as Mama was making sure I ate my dinner, she spoke to me of you. How
you told Marissa in the meeting she would have to go through you to get to Legolas.
She knows how much you love him, and said you would make a fine wife for Legolas.
And Mama never says anything she does not mean."
"What if someone else forbids it. I mean, starts some new lie about me?"
"Konner and I will not permit anyone to come between you and Legolas. And quite
frankly, I believe Lord Elrond will explode if someone else starts anything."
Iladori chuckled. "I think Lord Elrond will be happier to see the backs of all of us with all
of the uproar."
"Yes, a simple court session. First the Hobbits come, then my parents and Marissa go
insane at the hearing."
"And the revelation that I am your sister," Iladori added quietly.
"But that was a good thing. The one bright spot of the hearing," Aalyssa smiled warmly.
"I do not know it was a bright spot."
"Well I do. I am very happy to have a sister," Aalyssa assured her.
"And I am happy to have found you as well," Iladori admitted.
Aalyssa shifted her position so she could hug her sister.
When the two sisters parted, Iladori smiled at Aalyssa. "Can you help me with
something?"
"I can try," Aalyssa replied.
"I know the women look at me strangely because of how I dress and act. Teach me to
be a lady."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BY DRAGONWIND
A/N See chapters one and four for disclaimers.
The rating will be going up to an R with this chapter, for conversations and upcoming
scenes *grin*
Keep my muse fed! Reviews please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa relaxed on the bed, the book Iladori had given her in her hand. Even though
she was not to get out of bed, she had Elspeth help her into a gown before the maid
took off for her date. Aalyssa smiled. "So romantic, Elspeth and Donlugan going for a
picnic by the river," she whispered.
Her mind drifted back to the night she and Konner had made love for the first time.
~Flashback~
It was her coming out party, and it was being held at the Palace, as they all were, so
that all of Mirkwood could attend. After the dancing, she had strolled out to the stable to
see the horses and think. Prince Konner had just returned home earlier that day from
his fostering, and Aalyssa had about fallen over when he greeted her and asked her to
be his companion for the feast. The Prince had gently taken her hand and guided her to
the head table, where he seated her next to him. The two talked quietly throughout the
meal, getting reacquainted.
Konner had asked her to dance, and the feel of being in his arms was overwhelmingly
beautiful. To her surprise, he danced every dance with her, monopolizing her for the
night. Between dances, they spoke quietly. Once when she had looked over his
shoulder at her parents, she caught sight of her Mother and Father's disapproval, but
she tried to ignore it for the night. It was supposed to be one of her special nights.
She remembered them even balking at the idea of the party to begin with, but the
Queen had finally convinced them that all Ladies were to have them and she was to be
no different. It was the only time Mother had purchased a beautiful gown for Aalyssa,
only because she was trying to hide the truth from the other residents of Mirkwood.
Aalyssa climbed the ladder to the hayloft, one of her favorite places to sit and think. It
was quiet and few people knew to seek her out there. She knew she had fallen madly
and totally in love with the Prince, and from the way he had held her, she felt he had as
well.
The door to the stable opened and a voice called out, "Aalyssa? Where are you?"
Konner entered the stable, wondering where she had gotten to. He was pretty sure she
was in here, because as children, he, Legolas and Aalyssa played hide and seek and
he knew she was often found in the stable.
Aalyssa smiled, wondering whether to call out to him, or to let him wonder. The
decision was taken from her when a section of the floorboard broke. With a scream she
fell, landing on top of Konner, pinning him to the ground under her.
She blushed as he lay there, staring at her and trying to catch his breath.
"I am terribly sorry, Prince Konner."
He smiled up at her finally. "It is all right, Lady Aalyssa. No harm done and it was not
your fault."
With a small motion, Aalyssa tried to shift off of him, but his hands reached up to grasp
her shoulders.
"Where do you think you are going, My Lady?" he smiled, running his fingers through
her hair.
"This is hardly appropriate, My Prince," she told him shyly.
"It is not like we are strangers, after all. For many years, you, my brother and myself
played in the stables as well as the edge of the forest."
"That is true. Yet, everything seems. . .different this eve," Aalyssa whispered, her body
having unusual reactions to his touches. Reactions she was not familiar with.
"You have become a beautiful Elf Maiden," he said softly. "Your eyes are the color of
the night sky." Konner sat up, pulling her into his arms. His hand went behind her head
as his lips lowered to capture hers in a kiss.
Surprise shook Aalyssa, who placed one hand on his shoulder and the other behind his
head. Her lips parted at the insistent thrusts of his tongue, allowing him admittance.
She moaned softly into his mouth.
Konner trailed his fingers down her neck, making her shiver under his skimming touch.
He followed the path with butterfly kisses.
Aalyssa tilted her head back, her eyes closed, exposing the soft creamy flesh of her
neck to him. "We cannot do this, Prince," she weakly protested.
"It is Konner. And it feels so right," he murmured. His hand inched down to begin
untieing the laces of her dress.
"I have never felt like this before," Aalyssa said breathlessly.
"If you are afraid I will hurt you, I promise I will not. You have known me forever. In
fact," he whispered, "I believe I may have fallen for you."
"Or under me," Aalyssa giggled. "But seriously, stop it, Prince Konner."
He eased her down on the pile of straw. "We have always been drawn to one another.
Allow me to make love to you, Aalyssa. And please, it is Konner."
Aalyssa looked up into his blue eyes, full of warmth and caring. Her hands moved up to
unlace his tunic.
He smiled seductively, pulling the laces free of her dress. "Lift your arms, love," he
whispered, easing the gown from her shoulders.
~end of flashback~
A soft knock on the door broke Aalyssa's reverie. "Come in," she called out, hoping she
was not too terribly flushed
Iladori slipped in, closing the door behind her. "I do hope I am not disturbing you," she
inquired shyly.
Aalyssa set the unread book down and smiled. "Of course not. Is something wrong?
She asked, seeing the reddish tint to Iladori's skin.
She wrung her hands as she looked at Aalyssa. "You have to understand, I have
always been a warrior and never paid attention to female things. Now, I have
questions," Iladori admitted. "If I go to Mom or one of my other sisters, they would ask
question I do not care to answer."
"Oh, those kinds of questions," Aalyssa smiled gently. "I would be pleased to assist
you. Come, have a seat," she invited, indicating the chair next to the bed.
Iladori walked around the bed and sat down. "Legolas said something to me last night
which I did not understand."
"What did he say?"
"He mentioned Konner not using protection. I do not understand," she admitted, her
look of confusion evident in her eyes.
Aalyssa thought for a moment before speaking. "Protection is. . . well, uhm, something
men use to prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. As Legolas has mentioned,
Konner forgot to use it one night."
"He mentioned something about your eyes and Konner being lost?" Iladori mentioned,
a questioning tone to her voice.
Aalyssa giggled and blushed. "Is that what Konner told him?"
"Apparently, but it made no sense at all to me. But tell me, what is this protection? Is it
something you ingest?"
"No," Aalyssa coughed. "It is not ingested. The man, he. . .," her voice trailed off as she
tried to determine the best way to explain.
Iladori stared blankly at her twin. "He?"
Aalyssa fidgeted slightly. "He takes, well, that is. . .he gets a piece of sheep intestine
and. . ."
"Sheep's gut?" Iladori interrupted. "I do hope it is clean."
"It is. He wraps it around himself before. . ."
"He wraps himself in sheep's gut? I would not want him near me, wrapped in sheep's
gut," Iladori sputtered.
"Er, yes. It, uhm, blocks his. . .that is, he cannot make you pregnant then."
Iladori wrinkled her nose. "Oh, stars. That is so nasty."
"Iladori? You are not. . .it is not as bad. . .Oh, you are not thinking he wraps his entire
body are you?"
"Why would you allow him to touch you, wrapped in sheep's guts? Ugh," Iladori
continued, ignoring Aalyssa.
"He only wraps one part of his body," Aalyssa continued.
"Oh, but still, stars. You let him in you, covered in sheep's gut?"
"Trust me, you do not notice."
Iladori stared at Aalyssa, aghast. "How could you not? It is a sheep's innards."
"Well, when a man and a woman are, uhm, feeling passionate, they are only aware of
one another." A blush reddened Aalyssa's face, the heat reaching her ears. "And
actually, it kind of just feels like skin."
"Where do they get it? Do they just saunter down to the kitchen and ask for sheep's
guts?"
Aalyssa fought the smile which threatened, "No. They get it from an herbalist or healer."
Iladori chewed on her lower lip. "Are they not tubes? How do they prevent it from flying
out the other end?"
"Uhm, no, it is a flat sheet. It is the manner in which it is wrapped, which is kind
of...along the lines of diapering a baby."
Iladori listened intently, wanting to learn. "I think this lovemaking thing is very
confusing."
"No," Aalyssa shook her head. "It only seems that way."
"Men wearing sheep guts on themselves. Oh stars," she shuddered. "Do they not dry
out?"
"Uhm, no, Iladori."
"It is not fresh? I mean, do they go out and kill a sheep just because they want it? Or is
it reusable?"
"No and no it is not. They need a new one each time The herbalist and healer have
something to keep it in."
"I must go and see this," Iladori smiled brightly. "Are they in some jar on a shelf?"
Aalyssa shook her head, chewing on her lower lip. "They will only give them to a male. I
do not even know if they will show you."
"You mean women cannot go and get it? That is not fair."
Aalyssa reached out and held her sister's hand. "Iladori, it is not the woman's
responsibility. Not to mention, her reputation would be ruined if word got out that she
went to procure protection before marriage. I agree that it is unfair."
A frustrated sigh escaped Iladori. "This intimacy thing is very complicated, it is much
easier being a warrior. Surely there are other ways to prevent pregnancy."
"After she is wed, it is acceptable for a woman to visit the herbalist. Then you may
obtain herbs to prevent conception."
"Oh?" Iladori brightened then frowned. "But why not before?"
"Until you are wed, an Elf Maiden must either remain a virgin or be discreet, relying on
the man to handle it. For a maiden, as I said, reputation is everything. If just one of
those court women catch a hint of an unmarried woman procuring protection, they will
create a whirling dervish of rumors, unlike any seen before."
"It still does not seem fair."
"As I said, I agree. I said as much to Mama earlier. But for now, there is a double
standard. It is all right for the man but not the woman. The court women are all eyes
and ears. Trust me, they would find out."
"But Aalyssa, I see them going to men who are not their husbands. The garden was
overflowing with them last night," Iladori responded, her confusion growing.
"I never said they were not hypocritical," Aalyssa said with a sad smile. "They all
believe they are being discreet. But for that, they are in no danger from rumors on that.
They are all afraid to turn one another in, knowing there is someone who can do the
same to them. And on goes the continuing circle of gossip."
"It makes no sense to me at all."
"Now that I am away from it, I do not understand it either."
"Why wed if you are not going to honor your vows? Why cheat on your husband?"
"I do not know," Aalyssa shook her head. "I have only desired Konner. I have never
been curious about another."
Iladori nodded, a questioning look in her eye.
"Yes, Iladori?"
"I need to ask you something, but it is kind of personal."
"We are sisters, twins in fact. You may ask me anything, I have no secrets."
A blush crept over Iladori who smiled shyly and looked down. "When you first made
love to Konner, what was it like?"
"I was just thinking about that night when you knocked. It hurt at first, I will not lie to you
about that. But Konner was gentle and made sure the pain passed before we
proceeded. The things the right man can make you feel is, well, glorious, happy, loved.
But the two must share feelings."
"How painful?" Iladori asked, worried.
"It is, well, a kind of a stabbing pain, because, uhm," Aalyssa reddened. "You have a
barrier that he has to. . .break, before the two of you can make love."
"Ah, yes, I understand about the barrier. Mother says sometimes it is not there because
one has been active, riding horses and such. But stabbing. . . like being stabbed by a
sword?"
"Hmm, well, I would think by a sword would be a bit drastic. Unless he is huge. It kind of
depends. . .on how large he is and how small you are."
"Huge?" Iladori's eyes widened. "How big can they get?"
"It really. . .it depends on the man."
"How do you know how huge he is going to be? Are we talking horse huge here?"
"If he is horse huge, run the other way. I am trying to think of something to compare it
too. And I have only seen Konner, you realize. I would say. . ."
"Is he the same as Legolas?"
"I have never seen Legolas', but I would assume, since they are about the same size,
except Legolas being taller and leaner, I doubt there would be a vast difference. And I
promise it only hurts the first time."
"Is that all there is to it, some pain? Why make such a big deal if it just hurts?"
"It is hard to explain, because it also includes feelings and emotions."
"No, the importance of being a virgin," Iladori sighed.
"Oh, well, because. . .well. . ." Aalyssa cleared her throat. "It is a special gift you are to
give to the man who claims your heart."
"A little pain," Iladori mumbled absently, "Anyone could fake pain. Ooh, it hurts."
"If I did not know about the healer examination," Aalyssa muttered, lifting an eyebrow, "I
would really be concerned by that remark. Why would you have to fake the pain?"
"It just makes no sense, the big deal about being a virgin, if all there is to it is pain."
Realization dawned on Aalyssa, " But also, when you give yourself to that special man,
he also will know because of the barrier he needs to break. If he does not encounter it.
. ." Aalyssa's voice trailed off as she began to think. "But if that was broken by horse
riding. Iladori? Did the healer say there was none?"
"She said I was intact, what ever that means. It made everyone happy."
Aalyssa nodded, "That is good then. Oh, something I forgot to mention. When a woman
makes love for the first time. . .when the man enters her. . .there is blood. And I am not
sure of all of the healer jargon, but you would not be intact anymore."
"Blood? How much blood are we talking about?"
"Yes, blood. Uhm. . it is basically some spotting. Enough to be noticeable. . .if the
wedding night is to be verified."
"Great," Iladori sighed. "Pain and blood. Sounds like going into battle."
"The benefits and the pleasure far outweigh the pain and blood." Aalyssa smiled at her
sister, "Some might say it is a battle for the hearts. But I am sure Legolas will take care
not to hurt you, do not worry."
"It does not sound like he can prevent it. And the pleasure outweighs the pain?"
"He can to a point. I have heard some men are terribly rough and cause great pain."
"Pain and blood, only to get pregnant, causing you to be vilely ill for weeks then go
through labor. You know. . ."
"What Iladori?"
"Remaining a virgin is sounding really good right now."
"No, listen. You will be missing out on a world of wonder, do not allow fear to prevent
you from experiencing love. And as for the sickness and labor of pregnancy, well, it is
worth it to me." Aalyssa absently rubbed her hand over her abdomen.
Iladori leaned her head to one side. "I love Legolas, but I do not know if I want the pain
and blood from being stabbed by some man wearing a sheep's gut."
Aalyssa mouth quirked and she tried her best to stifle a smile. "You know, that is an
image, Iladori. But trust me, the pain is worth it, and is very brief."
"For a short time of pleasure?"
"More than a short time of pleasure, because you carry the feeling within you. Inside of
your heart, and it will never hurt again. From then on, it is pleasure."
"Until you wind up pregnant and have to go through that misery."
"Iladori, being pregnant is not misery. I would not trade this for anything. It is a
wonderful feeling, carrying a precious little life inside that I created with the man I love.
In my mind, it is the most important thing for me to do," Aalyssa stated, still rubbing her
abdomen.
"Just wait until you go into labor for several hours," Iladori scoffed. Then she looked up,
a serious look on her face. "What if he does not fit?"
Stunned, Aalyssa blinked, certain she had misinterpreted the question. "What?"
"What if he does not fit?" Iladori repeated.
"Uhm, you mean, what if Legolas'. . ." Aalyssa saw her sister nod at her. "Iladori, your
body will stretch to accommodate him inside you."
Iladori rocked back. "So let me make sure I have this all straight. I will endure bleeding,
stabbing pain and stretching to accommodate him. All for some pleasure from a man
wearing a sheep's gut?"
"Somewhere, I did not explain something correctly."
"It does not seem fair. Why can I not be the one to wear the sheep's gut and he go
through it all?"
"For one thing, where would you put the sheep's gut? It just does not work that way."
"I do not know, but it seems like I will be doing all of the giving and he will be doing all
of the taking."
"It may seem that way, but he will be doing things that give you pleasure. With his
hands, his lips, uhm, his mouth. You would give each other pleasure. But let me back
up to the pregnancy issue. You do not want children?"
"I do not know. I have never given it much thought."
"Well, I know for a fact you are good with children. I assumed you would want to be a
mother."
"I have just never thought much of it. I never really thought I would meet someone who
would make me interested in having children."
"And does Legolas make you think that way? Or you still have not thought about it yet?"
"I do not recognize the feelings I have when I am around Legolas. I get tingles when he
is near and last night was wonderful."
Aalyssa narrowed her eyes, "And what exactly happened last night, if I may ask?"
"He was kissing me in the garden," Iladori admitted softly.
"And you enjoyed it?"
"Yes, I enjoyed it very much."
"It just gets better from there, Iladori."
"Lys, please call me Dori."
Aalyssa nodded, "Dori. Is kissing the only thing that happened last night?" she asked
with concern.
"Yes," she answered softly.
"You can tell me you know. But if you do not want to, that is all right too."
"He. . .but then he stopped himself. But I did not want him to."
"What did Legolas do?"
"Nothing happened, Lys. But. . . I am scared."
"Why are you scared? Did something I say frighten you? It was not my intention."
"No, Lys, it was not you. He said he wants to wait, but what if I did not please him last
night and he goes to find someone else?"
"You have to understand, Legolas has a strong code of honor. Konner told me Legolas
let him have it for laying with me before we were wed. And Dori, Legolas loves you. He
wants no one else. And I do not think you need worry about not pleasing him."
"I want him to be happy."
"Then just love him and be with him. All he needs to be happy is to have you in his life
and heart. I have never seen Legolas as truly happy as he is when he is with you."
"I wish to be with him badly."
"That is the most important thing. What can I do to help you feel more at ease?"
"I. . . it is just with everything going on, we may not be able to wed for a long time, and
well, I do not know if he is willing to wait that long. Or if I can."
"Impatience I can understand. Dori, Legolas would wait for you."
"Yes, but what if. . .what if something happens to me before the ring is destroyed. It
would hurt him terribly and I could not bear that."
"My only response to that is we are all in danger right now. It would hurt him more if you
push him away. Hope and love are what we need to carry us through this. And you
have that with Legolas."
"I wish we could physically share these feelings."
"Legolas' honor is a difficult thing to get around." Aalyssa smiled at Dori. "There must
be some way though."
"His honor is very important to him. It was all he had when he was growing up. I would
never ask him to give it up."
"No, I know. Maybe if the two of you petitioned Lord Elrond for a special dispensation."
"There usually needs to be some great reason for it. I do not see him agreeing, just
because I want to make love with Legolas. Not after what has come out already."
"Of course not. That would not be the reason you give. But he looks on Legolas as a
son and wishes him happiness."
"It is the true reason, I believe he would know that."
"Are you telling me you only wish to wed Legolas to sleep with him?"
"No, more than that. But I have the feeling they will think we can wait. We have no
pressing issues like you and Konner."
"I do not know about that. Still, you have two people who want to be together, who may
be facing danger together. Their families would wish to witness their marriage."
"I fear people will think I want to marry Legolas. . .hmm. . .how did he phrase it in
regards to his brother, Oh yes. Because Legolas cannot keep it in his pants.
Aalyssa started to laugh. "Poor Konner. Well, I think it is all in the presentation. Maybe.
. .what if Legolas went to his father and explained. Then Dad can go to Lord Elrond and
say he would like to have his sons wed in a double ceremony."
"He has yet to speak to my father yet."
"Yes, he does have to do that first. Has he said he was going to?"
"He mentioned it, but all of the Kingdom rulers have been holding Council today."
"Ah, then I am sure he intends to as soon as he and your father have a free moment at
the same time."
"Our father, Lys."
Aalyssa glanced down, "Yes, I suppose so. I would like to actually get a chance to
speak with him and get to know him."
"He is going to love you. Lys?"
"Yes?"
"What if Legolas' mother does not like me? She will stand in the way of our wedding."
"She will not. From what I understand, she realized a lot of things the night my parents
had me. . ." Aalyssa paused, putting one hand against her mouth, willing herself not to
cry.
Iladori sat on the bed and reached out with one hand to place it on Aalyssa's shoulder.
"Konner saved you though."
She took a deep breath and continued, "She has been different with Legolas since, and
wants him happy."
"But, what if she decides I am not the one to make him happy. I am not the most lady
like of the women here."
"Dori, she can see how happy you make him. She will not interfere, trust me on this.
Konner and Legolas were raised to marry for love. . .and Mama knows how much
Legolas loves you."
"What if she does not like me, but says she does to make him happy?"
"Yesterday, as Mama was making sure I ate my dinner, she spoke to me of you. How
you told Marissa in the meeting she would have to go through you to get to Legolas.
She knows how much you love him, and said you would make a fine wife for Legolas.
And Mama never says anything she does not mean."
"What if someone else forbids it. I mean, starts some new lie about me?"
"Konner and I will not permit anyone to come between you and Legolas. And quite
frankly, I believe Lord Elrond will explode if someone else starts anything."
Iladori chuckled. "I think Lord Elrond will be happier to see the backs of all of us with all
of the uproar."
"Yes, a simple court session. First the Hobbits come, then my parents and Marissa go
insane at the hearing."
"And the revelation that I am your sister," Iladori added quietly.
"But that was a good thing. The one bright spot of the hearing," Aalyssa smiled warmly.
"I do not know it was a bright spot."
"Well I do. I am very happy to have a sister," Aalyssa assured her.
"And I am happy to have found you as well," Iladori admitted.
Aalyssa shifted her position so she could hug her sister.
When the two sisters parted, Iladori smiled at Aalyssa. "Can you help me with
something?"
"I can try," Aalyssa replied.
"I know the women look at me strangely because of how I dress and act. Teach me to
be a lady."