FINDING HEART
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
BY DRAGONWIND
Disclaimer: See chapters one and four for disclaimer, I own nothing of Tolkein's. Those
not recognized from his works are mine.
Constructive Feedback welcome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa entered the shop, her eyes wide. On the shelves of one wall bolts of colorful
fabrics were stacked , and in the center of the shop were several racks full of gowns. In
the corner stood a counter where one could look at dress designs to select from to be
special made.
Konner walked over to another wall which displayed trinkets, which he browsed,
thinking about gifts for Aalyssa and his mother. He would make up his mind and come
back alone, so he could surprise his Aalyssa.
Cautiously, Aalyssa touched some of the gowns on the first rack. "They are so
beautiful," she whispered.
"They will not break if you touch them, Lys," Ziellien teased.
"They are so exquisite, Ell. The only truly nice gowns I have worn were the ones you
and Tracimia were kind enough to lend me."
"You had a beautiful one on the first night we were here, the pale blue one. The pale
yellow was divine on you as well. We all share gowns when traveling. We each have
our special ones that we will not lend, but for the most part we all share. We are all
roughly the same size, although Dori is leaner. I notice you are the same size as well."
"You are all so lucky to have one another," Aalyssa said shyly. She continued to look
but not touch, not even knowing where to begin.
"We are sisters. It is a pain at times, noisy at others, and you wish for privacy. But I
would not change it for the all the world."
"I wish I had that," she whispered.
Ziellien tilted her chin up, "You do. You have three sisters who love you, Lys."
"Thank you, Ell," Aalyssa smiled back.
"Now, what sort of colors would you like?"
"They are all so pretty. But I was thinking maybe some dark colors, like midnight blue
and burgundy."
"Mirkwood. If I am not mistaken, you tend to favor forest colors. All of those would look
lovely as would green."
"Yes, we need something more sturdy than velvet though. Ah, there is Tracimia."
Aalyssa pulled out a silk gown of midnight blue, trimmed with silver at the neckline, the
hem and the sleeves. The sleeves were tight from shoulder to elbow, where they flared
from the trim. The trim also adorned the hems.
"That is lovely, Lys. It matches your eyes," Tracimia said, adoring the gown. "It would
be perfect for dinner this eve."
"It would, would it not?" she said wistfully. Aalyssa glanced over at Konner, who was
cautiously peering at some jewelry. "Sweetheart? What do you think of this one?" she
asked, holding the dress up for him to see.
"I like it. The color is very lovely for you, as it will accentuate your eyes, and I like the
trim."
She smiled brightly at him, "I do too."
Ziellien grinned and started going through the gowns for Iladori. She watched Aalyssa
carefully select three more gowns, then begin to wander aimlessly. Ziellien nudged her
sister, who nodded.
"Lys, come check out this gown, it is a lovely shade of pink trimmed in burgundy,"
Tracimia said.
Aalyssa walked back over and looked at the gown, "Oh, it is lovely, Tracimia." She
absently fingered the gown, debating putting one of the others back.
Tracimia swept the gown from Aalyssa's reach and called out to Konner. "Here, love,
make yourself useful," she teased, handing him the gown. She then turned and took the
other four dresses from Aalyssa and handed them to him.
He grinned, knowing what Tracimia was up to.
"Oh, but I have not decided. . ." Aalyssa began to protest, stopping when Konner smiled
at her.
"What is wrong, Lys?" Ziellien inquired.
"There is nothing wrong, exactly. It is just I have never bought many dresses at once,
especially as pretty as these. In a few months they will not fit, so I do not see any point
in overdoing it."
"That is several months in the offing. I am trying to remember if I brought any maternity
gowns with me, since they can not be worn again without being totally out of fashion by
next year," Ziellien said.
"Yes, but you should look beautiful now, it will make you feel better," Tracimia offered.
"And you will be a princess, you will need beautiful gowns."
She looked at the two sisters who were ganging up on her. "You are both correct. I
suppose I can pick out a few more. Thank you, Ell, Tracimia."
"Do not thank us, it is a pleasure," Ell said, giving her a tight hug, smiling when Aalyssa
returned it warmly.
"Tracimia, help me select some gowns for Dori."
Aalyssa returned to looking through the gowns, oblivious to Konner watching her. She
pulled out a dark green dress, adorned with small glass beads of the same color, then
put it back. 'It is lovely, but way too fancy for me.' She continued to look and spotted a
gown of a different shade of blue. It was a simple gown, barren of any trim with an
empire waistline. "Hmm."
"Hmm?" Ziellien repeated, looking up.
Aalyssa looked up, unaware she had said that out loud. She smiled and nodded, "Yes,
hmm. I like this. . ."
"But?" Tracimia asked.
She shook her head and hung the dress back on the rack. "I cannot wear it," she said
sadly, moving down the rack a little further.
"Why ever not?"
"It needs jewelry, Tracimia. . .the right necklace. And I have none."
"I am sure you will have some after you wed, that is what husbands are for, after all,"
Ziellien joked.
"I thought they were for keeping you warm at night," Tracimia responded, blinking in
innocence.
Aalyssa laughed and turned her attention to a dark green dress trimmed with gold,
which did nothing for her. "But by the time I receive jewelry, the dress would not fit."
"You are to wed in a few days," Tracimia began.
"I would not expect jewelry that soon."
"I am certain you shall receive something," Ziellien said, watching Konner, who was still
looking at the jewerly. "And the waistline is high, you could wear that well into your
pregnancy. And it is a classic style that will never go out of fashion."
"But will it fit me after the babe is born?"
"As long as you do not pig out," Tracimia joked.
"Tracimia!" Ziellien scolded, enjoying watching Aalyssa's lips quirk into a smile before
struggling not to laugh. "Come, Lys, let us go in the back and look at the wedding
gowns."
"Do we not have to look at sketches?"
"We should see what is already made, since we only have two days. I would really hate
to pressure the lady," Ziellien explained. "They are kept in the back room to keep the
men out," she said, looking pointedly at Konner.
"I shall keep Konner busy," Tracimia assured her older sister. She had every intention
of selecting more gowns for her new sister.
Ell and Lys had been in the backroom less than five minutes when Aalyssa let out a
gasp. She walked over to a dress with a pale pink gossamer-like overskirt, over a dark
pink underskirt. The bodice was creamy and it had pink laces criss-crossing over the
fabric. The sleeves were tight and started at just off the shoulder, coming down to a
hem line that slipped over the hand like fingerless gloves. There was a drape that went
across the shoulders that was the same dark pink and light pink combination.
Ziellien smiled, "You like that one, do you?"
Aalyssa nodded, "But it is much too lovely for me."
"Nonsense." Ziellien nodded to the shopkeeper, who pulled the gown from where it
hung.
"Would milady care to try the gown on?" the woman inquired.
In unison, Aalyssa and Ziellien answered no and yes.
"Yes, she would," Ziellien insisted, selecting a pair of dark pink elfin shoes and handing
them to Aalyssa.
Reluctantly Aalyssa followed the shopkeeper and disappeared into the changing room
to try it on, while Ziellien looked at the headpieces.
"It is almost a perfect fit, milady," the shopkeeper exclaimed. "Just a little adjustments
here and there is all it needs. It seems to be made for you and only you."
"It is lovely," Aalyssa sighed.
"It is one of a kind. I know how special a wedding gown is to a young lady. If you
hesitate too long, it may be gone."
"We shall take it!" Ziellien called into the doorway. "Send word to Queen Myalora of
Forlindon when it is ready for her fitting. Oh, and not to rush you, but the wedding is to
be the day after tomorrow."
"Certainly," the shopkeeper agreed, curtsying to Ziellien. "There is not too much to be
done to it, milady."
After the dressmaker marked the necessary adjustments, Aalyssa put her original gown
back on and emerged from the dressing room and returned to Ziellien. "Lys, I was
looking over the headpieces, but then I decided you may prefer having flowers woven
into your hair."
"Oh, yes, Ell. That sounds lovely. Perhaps small pink flowers which match the gown?"
"We can arrange that, Lys. Mother is going to adore the gown you selected."
"Ell. We need a dress for Dori if she is going to exchange vows with Konner and I,"
Aalyssa thought suddenly.
Ziellien sighed, "You are right, but I wish Dori was here to select that herself. She
looked around, settling on a violet dress that was so pale it was nearly white,
embroidery of the same color creating a lacy effect down the bodice.
"It is lovely," Aalyssa commented, admiring the needlework.
The shopkeeper bustled over, "But it will not do for you, milady. The color is not you."
A laugh escaped Ziellien, "It is not for myself, but my other sister. She could not come
along today, but she is to exchange her own vows at the same time, we are having a
double wedding. I shall bring her along in the morn to be fitted."
"Very well. I can make her adjustments tomorrow afternoon then."
Ziellien and Aalyssa both curtsied then followed the shopkeeper into the outer room to
pay for their purchases.
Aalyssa's mouth dropped open when Konner picked up the huge stack of packages, "I
did not select that many."
Tracimia walked over, laughing, "No, but you should have. Princess' should always
look gorgeous and we shall see to it that you accentuate your own beauty."
A quietness fell over Aalyssa as they made their way back.
"Lys?" Konner inquired.
"Yes, my love?"
"Is something bothering you?"
She shook her head, "No, it is not." Aalyssa pressed close to him, leaning her head on
his shoulder. "I am just tired, that is all."
"Then we shall put you to bed for a rest," Konner smiled. "Ell, thank you for taking Lys
shopping," he said. "We are going to her room for a little bit."
Ell turned around and smiled, "We will see you at dinner then."
Konner and Aalyssa both waved as she walked off. "If my hands were not full, I would
carry you."
"We are almost there," she said as they passed through the entrance.
Konner opened the door to Aalyssa's room to admit her and he followed her in, closing
the door behind them. He set the packages on the table and led her over to the
loveseat. "We need to talk."
Aalyssa cringed when he said that, no conversation that had ever started that way was
good. She sat down and looked up at him, "Yes Konner?"
"Why would you ever think I would send you over the sea after the baby came?"
"I know it is not an uncommon practice when a babe is conceived before marriage.
Mother certainly made it clear enough that I was not good enough for marriage to
anyone, least of all you."
He knelt in front of her, taking her hands, "Lys, I proposed to you before we knew about
the babe," he said quietly. "I have told you I love you, shown you how much you matter
to me. But you do not have faith in me or our love."
"I do believe in us, but then the doubts in myself begin. And when the ladies were
saying it would be a wise choice, I panicked, frightened by what Mama might do after
this morn. I do not want to lose you Konner. I do not want to live without you."
"Your mistrust of my love is what is going to cause you to lose me. I cannot live like
this, Aalyssa, with all of your doubts about us, about me. Mother is not upset with you,
but me. She has made it clear she would never throw you to the wolves or orcs, and I
certainly would not. You are seeing untruths. I could expect this from Iladori, because
she is unfamiliar with the ways of the court like you are. You need to forget the hateful
things your mother said to you, they were untrue."
"I am so sorry, Konner. All I have ever wanted is your love, and now, I have. . ." she
looked up at him, tears streaming down her face.
He reached up to brush away her tears, "You have my love, Aalyssa, but you are
pushing it away."
"I do not mean to. It is difficult, dealing with the doubts and the betrayal. I do not know
how to handle it all of the time."
"I love you, Aalyssa, with all of my heart," he said softly. "I love our child. I am trying to
learn how to protect you and the babe. What more do you want from me to make you
stop doubting me? I have given you Grandmother's ring as a pledge. Legolas and Dori
are married and he has not given her a ring yet."
"Konner, I. . ."
"I love you with all of my heart, my soul, my very being. What more would you have me
give?"
"I love you Konner, heart and soul. I do not need anything else, just you. Just your love,
Konner."
He sat next to her on the loveseat and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
"I love you, Aalyssa."
"I love you too," she said, nuzzling her nose against his neck.
"We all care about and love you, and want to give you the wedding you desire and
deserve."
"Your new family has been very generous in aiding you, yet you question their motives.
For some reason you keep thinking they see you as a charity case. Yet I know if it were
a child you took in, you would do the same for them. Do you not realize they love you,
and they regret the misery you lived through, knowing they possibly could have taken
you from your mother? That they want to show you your value outside of who your
parents are?"
Aalyssa nodded, "But you do not understand. I do not question their motives. I feel
undeserving and do not wish for them to feel I am taking advantage of them. Nor do I
want to take advantage. Konner, you have to understand, I never had anyone treat me
like a child who mattered. Mother only let me get clothes when I absolutely needed
them, and certainly nothing ever as fine as we bought today. Old habits are hard to
break. I am unsure of how to react to actually being treated like a daughter. I do not
know how to be a daughter nor a sister. Not to someone who loves me."
"You say thank you, that is very kind of you," he said, tilting her chin up. "If you feel you
are taking advantage of their good nature, tell them. But do not be surprised if they say
you are not. After all, you are their daughter and sister now, and they already love you.
As far as being a daughter, just be yourself. My Mother loves you even more now, since
you have opened up to her, then she ever had. It seems to me they are very kind and
generous toward everyone, much like you." He tweaked her nose playfully, trying to get
her to smile. "Legolas spends more time with your father and brother in law then he
does with me and Father."
"I have noticed that," Aalyssa said, smiling at him when he tweaked her. "I just need
time to get used to being treated as such. Your parents have been wonderful, and of
course you and Legolas. But, as far as other people who care, after what Marissa did, I
am afraid to trust." She paused and reached up to caress Konner's cheek, "I have a lot
to learn, I think."
"Marissa was sick and you cannot judge others by her. You need to trust us. Trust in
my love, Aalyssa," he said, taking her hand in his and holding it against his heart. "I will
not let anyone hurt you again. Trust your new family, they will not hurt you. I feel this in
my heart. As for me, I admit I have not been the best of suitors. But you know I have
never told any other woman I love them. Only you."
"I do trust in you, Konner. I trust in your love. I need for you to trust that you are the
only man I have ever been with. . .in any way. Only you, the only man I have ever
loved."
"I know you have lain with no other. I never believed that, even when Marissa tried to
convince me. I almost tore Rivendell apart searching for you."
She snuggled into his arms and smiled, "I will always trust you, Konner. Believe me."
"I still get the feeling though that something else is bothering you."
"There is this something, but I cannot put my finger on what the worry is. It will come to
me, I suppose."
"You can come to me about anything, you know that. I would rather you do that then let
it fester inside until you burst into tears. When you figure it out, please come to me." He
kissed her forehead then made a face. "And now I must go."
"Where are you off to?"
"Father wants me to sit in on this council meeting, since Legolas is nowhere to be
found."
"He is with his wife at the herbalist still, no doubt." She sat up and kissed his cheek. "I
think I shall rest for awhile."
"You do that," Konner smiled, lifting her into his arms and carrying her to the bed. "It is
really not fair that I have to do all of the work Legolas usually does while he is off with
his wife," Konner grumbled teasingly.
"Sweetheart, you are going to have to get used to this sort of thing," Aalyssa told him
as he gently lay her down.
"Bah, this has nothing to do with Mirkwood."
"Oh. Then what is it then?" she asked, sitting on the bed and patting her stomach.
"Some archery competition or something to that effect," he explained, pulling the cover
up over her legs.
"Why would he need you for that?" she asked, stifling a yawn. "Stay here and take a
nap with me."
"I do not want to disappoint him anymore, I am going to take my duties seriously from
now on."
"I understand," she grinned at him.
"You rest. And I will probably rest, falling asleep during the meeting."
"Think about me and try not to fall asleep."
"I fear nothing can help during this meeting," Konner sighed. He leaned down to give
Aalyssa a quick kiss before he turned for the door.
"I love you," she whispered, watching him leave. She stood for a minute to remove the
dress then crawled back in, curling up under the covers. "Daddy loves us, little one.
Mommy will not make any more mistakes, I promised," she said softly, patting her
stomach. With a contented sigh, she fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
BY DRAGONWIND
Disclaimer: See chapters one and four for disclaimer, I own nothing of Tolkein's. Those
not recognized from his works are mine.
Constructive Feedback welcome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aalyssa entered the shop, her eyes wide. On the shelves of one wall bolts of colorful
fabrics were stacked , and in the center of the shop were several racks full of gowns. In
the corner stood a counter where one could look at dress designs to select from to be
special made.
Konner walked over to another wall which displayed trinkets, which he browsed,
thinking about gifts for Aalyssa and his mother. He would make up his mind and come
back alone, so he could surprise his Aalyssa.
Cautiously, Aalyssa touched some of the gowns on the first rack. "They are so
beautiful," she whispered.
"They will not break if you touch them, Lys," Ziellien teased.
"They are so exquisite, Ell. The only truly nice gowns I have worn were the ones you
and Tracimia were kind enough to lend me."
"You had a beautiful one on the first night we were here, the pale blue one. The pale
yellow was divine on you as well. We all share gowns when traveling. We each have
our special ones that we will not lend, but for the most part we all share. We are all
roughly the same size, although Dori is leaner. I notice you are the same size as well."
"You are all so lucky to have one another," Aalyssa said shyly. She continued to look
but not touch, not even knowing where to begin.
"We are sisters. It is a pain at times, noisy at others, and you wish for privacy. But I
would not change it for the all the world."
"I wish I had that," she whispered.
Ziellien tilted her chin up, "You do. You have three sisters who love you, Lys."
"Thank you, Ell," Aalyssa smiled back.
"Now, what sort of colors would you like?"
"They are all so pretty. But I was thinking maybe some dark colors, like midnight blue
and burgundy."
"Mirkwood. If I am not mistaken, you tend to favor forest colors. All of those would look
lovely as would green."
"Yes, we need something more sturdy than velvet though. Ah, there is Tracimia."
Aalyssa pulled out a silk gown of midnight blue, trimmed with silver at the neckline, the
hem and the sleeves. The sleeves were tight from shoulder to elbow, where they flared
from the trim. The trim also adorned the hems.
"That is lovely, Lys. It matches your eyes," Tracimia said, adoring the gown. "It would
be perfect for dinner this eve."
"It would, would it not?" she said wistfully. Aalyssa glanced over at Konner, who was
cautiously peering at some jewelry. "Sweetheart? What do you think of this one?" she
asked, holding the dress up for him to see.
"I like it. The color is very lovely for you, as it will accentuate your eyes, and I like the
trim."
She smiled brightly at him, "I do too."
Ziellien grinned and started going through the gowns for Iladori. She watched Aalyssa
carefully select three more gowns, then begin to wander aimlessly. Ziellien nudged her
sister, who nodded.
"Lys, come check out this gown, it is a lovely shade of pink trimmed in burgundy,"
Tracimia said.
Aalyssa walked back over and looked at the gown, "Oh, it is lovely, Tracimia." She
absently fingered the gown, debating putting one of the others back.
Tracimia swept the gown from Aalyssa's reach and called out to Konner. "Here, love,
make yourself useful," she teased, handing him the gown. She then turned and took the
other four dresses from Aalyssa and handed them to him.
He grinned, knowing what Tracimia was up to.
"Oh, but I have not decided. . ." Aalyssa began to protest, stopping when Konner smiled
at her.
"What is wrong, Lys?" Ziellien inquired.
"There is nothing wrong, exactly. It is just I have never bought many dresses at once,
especially as pretty as these. In a few months they will not fit, so I do not see any point
in overdoing it."
"That is several months in the offing. I am trying to remember if I brought any maternity
gowns with me, since they can not be worn again without being totally out of fashion by
next year," Ziellien said.
"Yes, but you should look beautiful now, it will make you feel better," Tracimia offered.
"And you will be a princess, you will need beautiful gowns."
She looked at the two sisters who were ganging up on her. "You are both correct. I
suppose I can pick out a few more. Thank you, Ell, Tracimia."
"Do not thank us, it is a pleasure," Ell said, giving her a tight hug, smiling when Aalyssa
returned it warmly.
"Tracimia, help me select some gowns for Dori."
Aalyssa returned to looking through the gowns, oblivious to Konner watching her. She
pulled out a dark green dress, adorned with small glass beads of the same color, then
put it back. 'It is lovely, but way too fancy for me.' She continued to look and spotted a
gown of a different shade of blue. It was a simple gown, barren of any trim with an
empire waistline. "Hmm."
"Hmm?" Ziellien repeated, looking up.
Aalyssa looked up, unaware she had said that out loud. She smiled and nodded, "Yes,
hmm. I like this. . ."
"But?" Tracimia asked.
She shook her head and hung the dress back on the rack. "I cannot wear it," she said
sadly, moving down the rack a little further.
"Why ever not?"
"It needs jewelry, Tracimia. . .the right necklace. And I have none."
"I am sure you will have some after you wed, that is what husbands are for, after all,"
Ziellien joked.
"I thought they were for keeping you warm at night," Tracimia responded, blinking in
innocence.
Aalyssa laughed and turned her attention to a dark green dress trimmed with gold,
which did nothing for her. "But by the time I receive jewelry, the dress would not fit."
"You are to wed in a few days," Tracimia began.
"I would not expect jewelry that soon."
"I am certain you shall receive something," Ziellien said, watching Konner, who was still
looking at the jewerly. "And the waistline is high, you could wear that well into your
pregnancy. And it is a classic style that will never go out of fashion."
"But will it fit me after the babe is born?"
"As long as you do not pig out," Tracimia joked.
"Tracimia!" Ziellien scolded, enjoying watching Aalyssa's lips quirk into a smile before
struggling not to laugh. "Come, Lys, let us go in the back and look at the wedding
gowns."
"Do we not have to look at sketches?"
"We should see what is already made, since we only have two days. I would really hate
to pressure the lady," Ziellien explained. "They are kept in the back room to keep the
men out," she said, looking pointedly at Konner.
"I shall keep Konner busy," Tracimia assured her older sister. She had every intention
of selecting more gowns for her new sister.
Ell and Lys had been in the backroom less than five minutes when Aalyssa let out a
gasp. She walked over to a dress with a pale pink gossamer-like overskirt, over a dark
pink underskirt. The bodice was creamy and it had pink laces criss-crossing over the
fabric. The sleeves were tight and started at just off the shoulder, coming down to a
hem line that slipped over the hand like fingerless gloves. There was a drape that went
across the shoulders that was the same dark pink and light pink combination.
Ziellien smiled, "You like that one, do you?"
Aalyssa nodded, "But it is much too lovely for me."
"Nonsense." Ziellien nodded to the shopkeeper, who pulled the gown from where it
hung.
"Would milady care to try the gown on?" the woman inquired.
In unison, Aalyssa and Ziellien answered no and yes.
"Yes, she would," Ziellien insisted, selecting a pair of dark pink elfin shoes and handing
them to Aalyssa.
Reluctantly Aalyssa followed the shopkeeper and disappeared into the changing room
to try it on, while Ziellien looked at the headpieces.
"It is almost a perfect fit, milady," the shopkeeper exclaimed. "Just a little adjustments
here and there is all it needs. It seems to be made for you and only you."
"It is lovely," Aalyssa sighed.
"It is one of a kind. I know how special a wedding gown is to a young lady. If you
hesitate too long, it may be gone."
"We shall take it!" Ziellien called into the doorway. "Send word to Queen Myalora of
Forlindon when it is ready for her fitting. Oh, and not to rush you, but the wedding is to
be the day after tomorrow."
"Certainly," the shopkeeper agreed, curtsying to Ziellien. "There is not too much to be
done to it, milady."
After the dressmaker marked the necessary adjustments, Aalyssa put her original gown
back on and emerged from the dressing room and returned to Ziellien. "Lys, I was
looking over the headpieces, but then I decided you may prefer having flowers woven
into your hair."
"Oh, yes, Ell. That sounds lovely. Perhaps small pink flowers which match the gown?"
"We can arrange that, Lys. Mother is going to adore the gown you selected."
"Ell. We need a dress for Dori if she is going to exchange vows with Konner and I,"
Aalyssa thought suddenly.
Ziellien sighed, "You are right, but I wish Dori was here to select that herself. She
looked around, settling on a violet dress that was so pale it was nearly white,
embroidery of the same color creating a lacy effect down the bodice.
"It is lovely," Aalyssa commented, admiring the needlework.
The shopkeeper bustled over, "But it will not do for you, milady. The color is not you."
A laugh escaped Ziellien, "It is not for myself, but my other sister. She could not come
along today, but she is to exchange her own vows at the same time, we are having a
double wedding. I shall bring her along in the morn to be fitted."
"Very well. I can make her adjustments tomorrow afternoon then."
Ziellien and Aalyssa both curtsied then followed the shopkeeper into the outer room to
pay for their purchases.
Aalyssa's mouth dropped open when Konner picked up the huge stack of packages, "I
did not select that many."
Tracimia walked over, laughing, "No, but you should have. Princess' should always
look gorgeous and we shall see to it that you accentuate your own beauty."
A quietness fell over Aalyssa as they made their way back.
"Lys?" Konner inquired.
"Yes, my love?"
"Is something bothering you?"
She shook her head, "No, it is not." Aalyssa pressed close to him, leaning her head on
his shoulder. "I am just tired, that is all."
"Then we shall put you to bed for a rest," Konner smiled. "Ell, thank you for taking Lys
shopping," he said. "We are going to her room for a little bit."
Ell turned around and smiled, "We will see you at dinner then."
Konner and Aalyssa both waved as she walked off. "If my hands were not full, I would
carry you."
"We are almost there," she said as they passed through the entrance.
Konner opened the door to Aalyssa's room to admit her and he followed her in, closing
the door behind them. He set the packages on the table and led her over to the
loveseat. "We need to talk."
Aalyssa cringed when he said that, no conversation that had ever started that way was
good. She sat down and looked up at him, "Yes Konner?"
"Why would you ever think I would send you over the sea after the baby came?"
"I know it is not an uncommon practice when a babe is conceived before marriage.
Mother certainly made it clear enough that I was not good enough for marriage to
anyone, least of all you."
He knelt in front of her, taking her hands, "Lys, I proposed to you before we knew about
the babe," he said quietly. "I have told you I love you, shown you how much you matter
to me. But you do not have faith in me or our love."
"I do believe in us, but then the doubts in myself begin. And when the ladies were
saying it would be a wise choice, I panicked, frightened by what Mama might do after
this morn. I do not want to lose you Konner. I do not want to live without you."
"Your mistrust of my love is what is going to cause you to lose me. I cannot live like
this, Aalyssa, with all of your doubts about us, about me. Mother is not upset with you,
but me. She has made it clear she would never throw you to the wolves or orcs, and I
certainly would not. You are seeing untruths. I could expect this from Iladori, because
she is unfamiliar with the ways of the court like you are. You need to forget the hateful
things your mother said to you, they were untrue."
"I am so sorry, Konner. All I have ever wanted is your love, and now, I have. . ." she
looked up at him, tears streaming down her face.
He reached up to brush away her tears, "You have my love, Aalyssa, but you are
pushing it away."
"I do not mean to. It is difficult, dealing with the doubts and the betrayal. I do not know
how to handle it all of the time."
"I love you, Aalyssa, with all of my heart," he said softly. "I love our child. I am trying to
learn how to protect you and the babe. What more do you want from me to make you
stop doubting me? I have given you Grandmother's ring as a pledge. Legolas and Dori
are married and he has not given her a ring yet."
"Konner, I. . ."
"I love you with all of my heart, my soul, my very being. What more would you have me
give?"
"I love you Konner, heart and soul. I do not need anything else, just you. Just your love,
Konner."
He sat next to her on the loveseat and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
"I love you, Aalyssa."
"I love you too," she said, nuzzling her nose against his neck.
"We all care about and love you, and want to give you the wedding you desire and
deserve."
"Your new family has been very generous in aiding you, yet you question their motives.
For some reason you keep thinking they see you as a charity case. Yet I know if it were
a child you took in, you would do the same for them. Do you not realize they love you,
and they regret the misery you lived through, knowing they possibly could have taken
you from your mother? That they want to show you your value outside of who your
parents are?"
Aalyssa nodded, "But you do not understand. I do not question their motives. I feel
undeserving and do not wish for them to feel I am taking advantage of them. Nor do I
want to take advantage. Konner, you have to understand, I never had anyone treat me
like a child who mattered. Mother only let me get clothes when I absolutely needed
them, and certainly nothing ever as fine as we bought today. Old habits are hard to
break. I am unsure of how to react to actually being treated like a daughter. I do not
know how to be a daughter nor a sister. Not to someone who loves me."
"You say thank you, that is very kind of you," he said, tilting her chin up. "If you feel you
are taking advantage of their good nature, tell them. But do not be surprised if they say
you are not. After all, you are their daughter and sister now, and they already love you.
As far as being a daughter, just be yourself. My Mother loves you even more now, since
you have opened up to her, then she ever had. It seems to me they are very kind and
generous toward everyone, much like you." He tweaked her nose playfully, trying to get
her to smile. "Legolas spends more time with your father and brother in law then he
does with me and Father."
"I have noticed that," Aalyssa said, smiling at him when he tweaked her. "I just need
time to get used to being treated as such. Your parents have been wonderful, and of
course you and Legolas. But, as far as other people who care, after what Marissa did, I
am afraid to trust." She paused and reached up to caress Konner's cheek, "I have a lot
to learn, I think."
"Marissa was sick and you cannot judge others by her. You need to trust us. Trust in
my love, Aalyssa," he said, taking her hand in his and holding it against his heart. "I will
not let anyone hurt you again. Trust your new family, they will not hurt you. I feel this in
my heart. As for me, I admit I have not been the best of suitors. But you know I have
never told any other woman I love them. Only you."
"I do trust in you, Konner. I trust in your love. I need for you to trust that you are the
only man I have ever been with. . .in any way. Only you, the only man I have ever
loved."
"I know you have lain with no other. I never believed that, even when Marissa tried to
convince me. I almost tore Rivendell apart searching for you."
She snuggled into his arms and smiled, "I will always trust you, Konner. Believe me."
"I still get the feeling though that something else is bothering you."
"There is this something, but I cannot put my finger on what the worry is. It will come to
me, I suppose."
"You can come to me about anything, you know that. I would rather you do that then let
it fester inside until you burst into tears. When you figure it out, please come to me." He
kissed her forehead then made a face. "And now I must go."
"Where are you off to?"
"Father wants me to sit in on this council meeting, since Legolas is nowhere to be
found."
"He is with his wife at the herbalist still, no doubt." She sat up and kissed his cheek. "I
think I shall rest for awhile."
"You do that," Konner smiled, lifting her into his arms and carrying her to the bed. "It is
really not fair that I have to do all of the work Legolas usually does while he is off with
his wife," Konner grumbled teasingly.
"Sweetheart, you are going to have to get used to this sort of thing," Aalyssa told him
as he gently lay her down.
"Bah, this has nothing to do with Mirkwood."
"Oh. Then what is it then?" she asked, sitting on the bed and patting her stomach.
"Some archery competition or something to that effect," he explained, pulling the cover
up over her legs.
"Why would he need you for that?" she asked, stifling a yawn. "Stay here and take a
nap with me."
"I do not want to disappoint him anymore, I am going to take my duties seriously from
now on."
"I understand," she grinned at him.
"You rest. And I will probably rest, falling asleep during the meeting."
"Think about me and try not to fall asleep."
"I fear nothing can help during this meeting," Konner sighed. He leaned down to give
Aalyssa a quick kiss before he turned for the door.
"I love you," she whispered, watching him leave. She stood for a minute to remove the
dress then crawled back in, curling up under the covers. "Daddy loves us, little one.
Mommy will not make any more mistakes, I promised," she said softly, patting her
stomach. With a contented sigh, she fell asleep.