Beauty And the Pig: A Fractured Fairy Tale
Refer to part one for Warning and Disclaimer
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Ranma sighed deeply, holding the map to Mr. "Tall, Dark, and Mysterious" house in a patch of sunlight. The further he went into the forest, the darker it became. Harder for traveling, too, the narrow roadway becoming choked with debris and underbrush. He'd already torn his traveling skirt and just hopped he'd get a chance to change and freshen up before meeting the master of the house.
Then he'd nearly gone crazy when he stopped to ask some strange old woman on a stick for directions. The old loony kept on pointing at trees and saying "You see that tree over there?" and when he said yes, she'd respond with "Well, that's not it." And then she would point at another tree or maybe a mountain or squirrel and repeat the whole thing over. It'd taken him nearly twenty minutes to get away.
"Lets see…" he traced the red line with his finger. "I should be almost there." He rolled up the map, stuck it in his pack, and determinedly headed forward. Indeed, the house was close, it was simply another turn of the road before he spotted the gate.
"Its about time!" Ranma exclaimed, happily, "I almost thought I wouldn't make it!" He shivered, remembering that strange feeling of being watched most of the way. With any luck, he'd never have to make the trip again.
~~~
Sadie: *evil laugh* Ehehehehehe....we have ways of making you take the trip! Bwahahahaha!
Hope: *edging away* You didn't take your medicine today, did you?
~~~
He carefully smoothed out his skirt, hoping the tear wasn't too noticeable, and headed for the gate. The massive iron frame appeared heavy, but swung open easily to his touch. The courtyard beyond was empty. Ranma pouted.
"How rude, there isn't even anyone here to greet me." He stomped his foot, then yelped, since his foot was very sore from walking and the stone walkway had that annoying habit all rocks have of being very hard and rather damaging when you attempt to stomp on them. Once he'd stopped hoping around on one foot, Ranma decided that he had better just go in and try to find someone. Or at least a bathroom.
No one answered his shout at the door. In fact, the lack of people was getting really eerie. Rubbing his arms at the sudden chill, Ranma moved slowly down the main hall. Well, the place certainly look rich enough. "Helllooooooooooo!!" He bellowed. Silence. No wait, there was a sound of some sort. Ranma strained to listen. It...it sounded like someone running. And it was getting closer.
~~~
Hope *announcer voice*: And once again we have the yearly Otaku Marathon! Where hordes of bishounen and bishoujo frantically attempt to out-race their obsessed, whipped cream wielding fans!
Sadie: Oh, pooh, you mean I missed it? Darn, after I spent all that money on chocolate sauce and cherries, too. *sniff*
~~~
From what he could tell, it was coming from his right, down the hall a ways. Now he could hear ragged breathing mixing with the steady 'thump-thump-thump' of striking feet. Ranma turned his head to look, but couldn't see a thing. [Jeez, who ever this is should be right on top of me by now, but I can't even see him! What the hell is going on?]
A voice overlaid the running sounds. "Shhhhhhhhaaaaaaaammmmmpooooo!!" Suddenly, a wind brushed past, strong enough to ruffle his bangs, then.....
*SLAM!!!!!*
Ranma blinked, then blinked again. The left hand wall now bore the impression of a body, arms and legs lifted in the mimicry of movement. There was a low moan, then the soft 'thud' of a body hitting the ground.
[That was…weird…] Ranma seriously considered turning tail and running screaming into the woods. But…he'd gotten this far, he might has well try to meet Mr. "Tall Dark and Mysterious". Besides, invisible people running into walls was still better then being back home.
"Hey, um…do you know where the Master of the house is?" Ranma called at the imprint. A groan answered him. "What was that? I didn't quite hear you."
"Down…hall…ooohhh…l-l-library…" A pleasant sounding male voice moaned out.
"Oh....thank you." Ranma lifted his skirt and gingerly stepped past the imprint in the wall, just in case there were any body parts in his path.
~~~
Hope: 'Body parts'? Just how hard did he run into that wall?
Sadie: I meant has a whole, not in pieces, you ninny.
~~~
[This is just too crazy! What on earth has my idiot father gotten me into?] Ranma growled softly and hitched his traveling pack higher on his back. [I am sooo going to make him pay next time I see him.] He was so engrossed in his thoughts of revenge that he missed the fact that someone was standing in front of him. Until he bumped straight into that someone.
"Ow!" Ranma cried, landing hard on his cute rear. "Watch where you're going you…" he trailed off and stared up in shock. The creature standing before was tall, black, imposing, and…
"A giant pig!"
"A boy!" The two shouted in unison. Ranma scrambled to his feet, only to get tangled in his skirt and go crashing back down. He settled for crossing his arms and glaring.
"Of course I'm a boy! What did you expect?"
The pig flicked an ear and grunted. "I was expecting a girl. You *are* Ranma? Genma's 'daughter'?"
"Yes." Ranma's jaw dropped, "Ooh no, you are *not* the guy I was supposed to be meeting! Are you?" He added, hopefully meek.
"If you're Ranma, then yes I am." Finally remembering his manners, such as they were, the pig offered his hoof. Ranma blinked at it, then grabbed it and hauled himself to his feet. "But…um…you're not….a daughter." The creature said haltingly.
"Sure I am." [I am so going to kill my father.]
"But…but…" The poor thing was at a complete loss. It seemed that turning into a man-sized pig and living among invisible people hadn't quite prepared him for Ranma. Not, of course, that anything could. "But…only girls are daughters…"
"Oh, THAT," Ranma waved it off, "You see, my mom was a little loony. She figured that my father didn't deserve a son, so she raised me as a daughter until the day she died."
"So, um, that's what the dress is all about...."
"No, that's just me."
"Oh."
"Anyways, since I'm here, think I could have something to eat?" Ranma beamed, putting on his I'm-so-cute-and-innocent-that-there-is-nothing-sweeter-then-me-and-if-you-don't-give-me-what-I-want-I'll-keep-this-up-until-you-die-of-sugar-shock act.
~~~
(Hope and Sadie shudder.)
Sadie: Glad I don't have to see that.
~~~
Feeling his bile rising, the pig turned away quickly. "Sure, I'll tell the cook to start something."
"Great! Hey, you think I could go freshen up? I'm all a mess." [While I'm here, I better enjoy what this place has to offer.]
The pig nodded. "I'm have Shampoo take you to your room."
[My room? Ho, buddy, I'm staying here that long.] But the other was calling out for someone before Ranma had the chance to bring his thoughts to voice.
"Nihao!" A female voice spoke almost directly in his ear. Ranma screamed and leapt forward, ending up clinging to the pig-man, who let out a startled squeal and tried to pry the clinging boy off of him.
"Master call for Shampoo?" The voice came from thin air with no apparent origin.
"Yes, I need you to…get off me!…take Ranma here to his…no! Don't put your hand there!…to his room…I said get off!" Finally managing to get Ranma free, the pig stepped back, huffing slightly. Ranma just brushed his skirt off demurely and smiled.
"Okay! Ranma, you follow Shampoo's voice, yes?"
"Um, yeah." Ranma said uneasily, looking around him. "Well, I'll see you in a bit....um, what is your name?"
"Ryoga."
"All right…Ryoga." waving, Ranma followed the voice and instruction of the invisible girl.
~~~End Four