Here we go! I hope you enjoy this, cause it took me weeks to write.(Mostly because I couldn't stop laughing)
I may have gotten some stuff about the people in here wrong, so please bear with me on mistakes.
Unfortunately, I don't own any of the characters mentioned.
And if I did, i'd be sure to recreate this on national TV as soon as possible.
But I don't. So why are you still listening to me whine about what I don't own?
Go on! Read it!
*has been readjusted for easier reading!*
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Announcer: Hello, and welcome to the first annual Videogame-Land Games!
Y: I'm Yoshi!
S: I'm Slippy Toad!
B: And I'm Bowser Koopa!
Y: We're your hosts! Now, lets get these games started!
S: We've got some pretty tough competitors from all over the place.
B: Yeah, and now we'll see who's the best!
Y: Hailing from Mushroom Kingdom, please welcome Mario, Luigi, Wario, Donkey Kong, and Princess Peach!
S: Straight from Moblius, give a hand for Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Knuckles, and Dr. Eggman!
B: And, just because we thought we could, we're bringing in lots of other random characters!
Y: We can do that?
S: Why not?
B: So, here they are! Please give a warm welcome to Link, Rouge, Banjo-Kazooie, Mew, Mewtwo, and Metal Sonic!
Sonic: Hey! Why'd they let you in?
Msonic: Cause I'm just soooo superior to you, blue boy!
Banjo: Ya know, you're blue too.
Msonic: Are you picking a fight with me?
They fight until a ref comes up.
Ref: Hey, fighting outside a designated competition is against the rules! I'm going to have
to disqualify both of you.
Banjo: Uh, Kazooie an me don't really get this anyhoo. We're going home.
Ref goes to talk with Yoshi, Slippy, and Bowser.
Ref: Very well, Banjo-Kazooie is out! Please wait while we decide the new entries.
Yoshi goes to make a phone call.
Y: I hope they're home.
S: Yeah, we only agreed because you said you were going to pay us.
B: I want my two hundred in small bills.
The phone rings, and Yoshi goes to talk on it.
Y: Really? You will? Okay, deal!
S: What deal? Who're you bringing in?
Y: You'll see.
A warp pipe sprouts, and four blurs jump out.
Me: Tada! It is I, the almighty Authoress Chiwizard!
S: You called her?!?
Y: She said she would help!
Me: Quiet! I already know everything!
B: You know who's going to win the Games? Tell us!
Me: Heck no, I'm making this up as I go along! Besides, telling you would ruin the story.
Now, shut up before I give your job to Scooby-Doo!
B: Yes ma'm.
Me: Now, as for your problem…lets see, 15, plus four, divided by the square root of
infinity…like I told Yoshi, I am willing to bring in a new character…but it has to be three
new characters! Say hello to the Powerpuff Girls!
Everyone else: Hello to the Powerpuff Girls!
Me: -_-;
S: Are you sure they can participate?
Buttercup: Heck yeh! We do have video games, yuh know!
Bubbles: Duh!
Me: Now play nice girls. Resume the story!
Announcer: Now, every one pick a number for the first event!
Metal Sonic: What's the first event?
Announcer: I was getting to that. *Ahem* The first event is a series of mini games from
Mario Party! You will be divided into five groups. Group A is everybody who drew multiples
of three and Group B people drew multiples of four. C is multiples of five, and D is anybody
that drew the Quadratic formula.
Link: Hey, I got a picture of the Taj Mahal!
Announcer: People who drew strange pictures are in Group E.
Bubbles: I got a Unicorn!
After all this got finished, they all stood in their groups.
Y: Here are the standings!
A - Sonic, Mario, Blossom, Knuckles
B - Shadow, Mewtwo, Buttercup, DK
C - Tails, Mew, Luigi, Peach
D - Eggman, Wario, Rouge, Metal Sonic
E - Link, Bubbles
Sonic: Hah hah! You got the fat guys!
Msonic: Shut up!
Wario and Eggman: Yeah, it's a glandular disorder!
Knuckles: Sure it is.
S: Okay! Enough with the bickering! It's time for everyone to get their mini games!
B: Hoo boy! First up, It's a four-way assault between A, B, C, and D!
Link and Bubbles: What about us?
Y: You guys, uh, thumb wrestle or something.
Bubbles: But I don't have fingers!
B: Then play blackjack!
Link: Okay.
They start a game.
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Twenty!
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Twenty-one!
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Forty!
Link: Dang it!
Everyone else: -_-;;
S: O-kay…back to the games, first up is a classic!
Y: Bumper Balls, one of my favorites!
It's Sonic, Buttercup, Peach, and Eggman.
Sonic: Take that, Eggman!
Eggman: Stop calling me that! My name is Robotnik. ROBOTNIK, I TELL YOU! WHOA! WATCH
OUUUUTTTT!
His ball goes out of control, knocking into Peach and Buttercup's before falling off the
island. Peach's falls off after him.
Sonic: Great, now it's me vs. some preschooler.
Buttercup: Hey! I go to kindergarten! Time for a hiney-whupping!
She rams into Sonic hard, knocking him off.
Y: And It's ten points for B!
S: That'll teach Sonic to tease. You never want to get on Buttercup's bad side.
Sonic, who's holding an ice bag on his head: Tell me about it.
Meanwhile…
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Three hundred forty-six!
Link: Dang!
B: You guys, the point of Blackjack is to get as close as you can to twenty-one without
going over it.
Link: Oh, we know. Hit me.
Bubbles: One million!
Link: Dang!
Y: What the -YOU CAN'T GET A MILLION WITH A NORMAL DECK! Give me that!
S: These aren't cards! These are blank pieces of paper!
Link: Yeah, so?
B: For the love of - here! Use this deck and play five card stud until we call you!
Bubbles: Okay. Dealer takes three!
Y, S, and B: -_-;;
Y: Where were we? Oh, yeah! Next game!
S: This looks like a dozy. What's 'Platform Peril'?
B: It's where they have to hop over a bunch of platforms that collapse underneath them.
Nothing fancy.
Y, after checking the roster: Uh, we're going to impose a no-flying rule for this one.
S: Yeah, can't have cheaters.
It's Tails, DK, Wario, and Knuckles.
Wario: Mwahahahaha! Eat my dust, suckers!
Knuckles: Hey fat boy, your epidermis is showing!
Wario: It is? Hey, wait a minute - AHHHHH!
As Wario was figuring out what Epidermis meant, he stopped and the platform he was standing
on fell.
B: Heh, good one!
Knuckles and DK are dead even as they reach the end, but at the last second Tails shoots
over their heads to win.
DK: No fair! He flew!
Ref: No, it's fair.
Knuckles: And what makes it fair?
Tails: I can only glide, remember?
Knuckles: Oh yeah, I can too.
Y: And it's a come-from-behind victory for C! They receive ten points.
S: Now it's time for the two-on-two!
B: Yeah. First, it's B vs. C in Handcar Havoc.
Shadow and Mewtwo are against Mew and Luigi.
Shadow: So, he's the original, and you're the clone?
Mewtwo: I believe I said that.
Both cars go really fast with C's in the lead, until Luigi and Mew's suddenly tips over.
Luigi: Mama mia!
Mewtwo and Shadow win.
Shadow: Like it was going to be any other way? We are superior life forms!
Mew: Mew mew mew! Mew! Mew mew!
Mewtwo: What do you mean, cheated?
Luigi: I saw-a two flashes of light-a! They-a knocked us-a off-a course.
Shadow: You really think we would do that?
Both Mewtwo and Shadow are looking very shifty, and they start whistling nervously while Mew
and Luigi complain to the Ref.
Ref: I don't see any damage to support your claims.
Mew: Mew mew mew!
Ref: Well, yes I am aware a Confusion Attack wouldn't leave a mark, but Chaos Spear would
and that's what I'm not seeing. B wins.
Shadow: Guess it's a good thing I missed after all - what?
Y: *Sigh* Looks like ten more points to B.
S: Some people will do anything to win.
B: What's wrong with that?
Y&S: -_-;;
Me: Some people never change.
B: Hey, why are you still here?
Me: I'm writing the fic, genius! If I leave, you can kiss your existence goodbye!
B: Jeeze, ask one question! Let's move on to the next game.
Y: This time it's A vs. D in Bombsket Ball!
Blossom and Mario vs. Rouge and Metal Sonic.
Msonic: Check me out!
He starts doing fancy dribbling and various other show-offing techniques, until Blossom
steals, passes the ball to Mario, and he gets around Rouge to score.
Msonic: Huh?
Rouge: You cost us the game, you ding-dong!
She begins beating Metal Sonic over the head as Blossom and Mario give each other
high-fives.
Y: And, now for the score so far!
A - 10 pts
B - 20 pts
C - 10 pts
D - 0 pts
E - ? pts
S: Hey, we need to have E do something.
B: Okay. Hey, E! Get over here with the others.
Link: But I was winning!
B: Shut it. I have an announcement!
Y: You do?
S: I don't like this…
B: Everyone, for getting this far, we're handing out bonus points!
S: Can we do that?
Me: Nothing wrong as far as I see.
B: A and C get 30 pts, B gets 20 points, and for being good sports D and E each get 50!
Y: But that gives everyone the same amount of points!
Me: Good point, but I'm not using the points for anything.
S: We're just handing them out to keep them happy while pretending to keep score.
Me: Good boy Slip. Looks like I'm not replacing you with Falco after all.
From background: Falco, you owe me forty-eight bucks!
Falco: Alright, just stop gloating about it Fox!
S: Hey! They were betting on me!
Me: Don't worry about it. Now, I will inform you of stage two.
I huddle with Y, S, and B for a while.
Y: Is that even ethical?
B: Sure it is! It'll be great!
S: Better let the announcer tell them.
Announcer: And, NOW! Time for the second half of the Videogame-Land Games!
Y: Okay you guys, the Authoress has announced a radical new method for deciding who gets to
go to the next part.
S: Everybody stand in a line, and every tenth man gets killed.
B: No you idiot, that's how we're deciding who has to play bingo with Syrup.
Link: You guys know Syrup?
Y: Never mind! The way is…
S: I remember now! Stand in a line, and don't move!
B: The Authoress has hired a special contractor to organize the cut.
Person that pops out of nowhere: This better be good, I was in the shower!
Me: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the famous Q of Star Trek?
Everybody cheers and claps.
Q: Well, at least your friends have good taste. You wanted me to eliminate some of them
from the contest?
Me: As humanely as possible, please.
Q: Sure thing.
Q turns into a small thundercloud, and begins randomly electrocuting people. Those that get
hit turn into cans of refried beans.
Msonic: Hey, he turned me into a can of beans!
Wario: Oh shut up.
Q turns back into his usual figure.
Q: That's it?
Me: Yep. Thank you Q. Everybody, lets give him a big hand!
Everyone claps and cheers, the cans of beans not as enthusiastically as they did before.
Q: Anytime. Now, I'm off to bother Picard about a hair piece!
He disappears.
Msonic: Didn't you tell him to do it humanely?
Me: Yeah, but this was both humane and very funny. Would somebody get rid of all these
cans?
Koopa Troopa and Toad shove all the cans to the side.
Only Sonic, Shadow, Luigi, Buttercup, Bubbles, Mew, Mewtwo, and Rouge are left.
Y: Next up, a commercial!
S: We have commercials?
B: You missed the meeting where we discussed that.
Y: As I recall, you gave him wrong directions and promised to pay me off if you could do
commercials!
B: Well, I'm not paying you squat! I am the greatest force around!
Me, posing as a huge, disembodied voice: IS THAT A FACT?
Bowser gets hit by lighting, turning him into a fluffy pink bunny.
B: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't be a bunny!
Me, still posing: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A JERK! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -
cough, choke, hack - HAHAHAHAHA!
Y: Getting back to the Games…
S: We're doing the last part old-school. This is now the Gameland World Martial Arts
Tournament!
B: Oh boy! Fighting!
Y: Be quiet, bunny boy.
B: I may be a bunny, but I can still kick your butt!
Y: Bring it!
They fight, and Yoshi wins by slurping Bowser into his mouth with his tongue.
B: Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle: Who is making that racket? UNCLE CANNOT SLEEP!
S: 0_-;
Yoshi spits Bowser out.
Y: Getting back to the games…
Uncle: Where am I? And who is tending my shop?!?
Me: Relax Uncle. I brought you here, and the Shop is taken care of.
Switching to Uncle's Shop…
Picard: What the heck did you do my ship, Q!!!!
Switching back…
Me: Uncle, I brought you here to replace mister high and mighty Bunny Boy over here.
Uncle: Oh, okay.
B: That's no fair! He doesn't have a game, or - ouch!
Uncle raps Bowser on the head.
U: I may not be a video game character, but I know my fighting!
Me: In honor of Uncle's presence, we're bringing in a new fighter. Say hello to Hauk-Foo!
Hauk-Foo: Where am I?
Slippy hands Uncle the Dog Talisman on a string.
Me: We were wondering if you two would honor us with a example fight.
Hauk-Foo: I fear no one!
Uncle, after slipping on the Talisman: I will fight.
HF: You again? Very well.
They fight, Hauk-Foo using moves like 'Monkey Plucks two Peaches', and 'Angry Wolf
slaughters Lamb', and 'Snake Cuts Grass', Uncle blocking all of them easily.
HK: Angry Crow takes Flight!
U: Thank you for sharing, Angry Crow!
Uncle knocks Hauk-Foo out of the ring in midair, and I sent him back to wherever he was.
U: I will judge.
B: What about me?
Me: DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK OVER THERE!
B: Yes sir.
Y: That was very entertaining.
S: I'll say. Where did that weirdo learn to fight?
U: I ask myself that every time I see him.
Announcer: Okay, that's long enough. WAKE UP!
The contestants had been lying around, mostly asleep. They all jumped as the announcer
yelled.
Announcer: Okay, now everyone take a number. It will correspond with your fight.
They all draw from a box.
Y: Hey, I better not see any trading over there!
S: We all set?
Announcer: Here is the order of the matches!
Fight 1 - Luigi vs. Rouge
Fight 2 - Mewtwo vs. Buttercup
Fight 3 - Sonic vs. Mew
Fight 4 - Bubbles vs. Shadow
Y: What a powerhouse lineup!
S: I can't wait to see these guys in action!
Ref: Here are the ground rules! Just like in Dragonball Z. You win by KOing, if your
opponent falls outside the ring, or they give up.
Other voice from nowhere: You get disqualified if you kill your opponent!
Y: Who's the new guy?
Me: Well, I was thinking you can never have too many judges, so here are some more to work
with Uncle.
In walks Grand Kai, the four lesser Kai's, Shaddi, Yami Yugi, and Data.
Data: This is odd. The last thing I recall was seeing Q on the Enterprise.
Me: Here's the story. Memorize it.
Data scans the piece of paper in seconds.
Data: I have never done anything like this before.
West Kai: Yeah, why'd you invite him?
Me: It's because he's one of my favorite characters, right next to Spock and Q and -
B: Now you got her going. Nice job!
S: Why are you still here?
B: I don't know where I live.
Everyone else: o_0;;
Y: Moving on…
Me: Okay, I figured the Kai's because this is a Martial Arts Tournament. Data can use the
experience, and Shadi and Yami Yugi are here to punish cheaters.
Yami Yugi and Shadi: Alright!
Announcer: Now for the first fight!
Luigi: I'm-a sorry. I don't-a like to hit-a girls.
Rouge: Don't sweat it. You won't be able to touch me.
They fight, and are prettily evenly matched.
Luigi: Ouch-a! What I wouldn't-a give for-a fire flower!
Fire Flower lands on his head.
South Kai: Hey, he's using outside equipment!
Shaddi: Nothing in the rules against that.
Luigi starts shooting fire balls. Rouge dodges in midair and hits Luigi with her shovel.
West Kai: Well, what about her?
Yami Yugi: It's legal.
There's a lot more fighting.
North Kai: *Yawn* This is entertaining and all, but can somebody win already?
Me: First, you must make me laugh.
North Kai: John Jacob Jingle-Himer Shmit!
Me: *Snort* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
North Kai: I am the funniest guy in the universe!
Me: Hoo ha, that was a good one! Okay, here's your winner.
Luigi tries to use a fire ball to propel himself into the air where Rouge is and it seems to
work, but then the fire ball bounces back up and explodes in his face.
Luigi: Mama mia!
Rouge starts laughing, and she accidentally flies into a pole and falls outside the ring.
Ref: The winner is Luigi!
Y: And the only remaining representative of the Mushroom Kingdom goes to the semi-finals.
Yes!
U: Very interesting fight. Now for next fight!
S: Next up is Mewtwo vs. Buttercup. Uh, we better get a clean-up crew standing by for this
fight.
Y: Yeah, both Mewtwo and Buttercup are real heavy hitters.
S: Especially Buttercup.
Buttercup: You ready to get it on, Tiny?
Mewtwo: Bring it, kiddo.
They punch and kick, and there's lots of explosions from their fists colliding at high speeds.
East Kai: Wow, it's just like the finals of the Otherworld Tournament!
Buttercup and Mewtwo break apart momentarily.
Buttercup: Lets turn up the heat!
She rubs her hands together really fast until she forms a ball of fire.
Buttercup: Eat this!
She flings it, but Mewtwo uses his psychic power to deflect it, and it ends up hitting the
judges area.
East Kai: That brat attacked me!
Shaddi: Legal.
Yami Yugi: Nothing against attacking the Judges in the rules.
Mewtwo: Is that all you've got?
He powers up, and rocks fly into the air ala DBZ.
He uses confusion to send all the rocks hurtling towards Buttercup.
She uses a set of really fast punches to shatter all the rocks, but Mewtwo slammed into her
from above and knocked her out of the ring.
Ref: The winner is Mewtwo!
Buttercup: You cheater, you tricked me!
Buttercup, blinded with rage, starts attacking Mewtwo again.
Yami Yugi and Shaddi: HEY! FIGHTING OUTSIDE A GAME SITUATION IS AGAINST THE RULES!
They use their powers, and Buttercup starts hallucinating, thinking every single rock she
sees is somebody to beat up.
She flies off, randomly destroying rocks and buildings as she goes.
Yami Yugi: Uh, guess we screwed it up.
Shaddi: Sorry. She'll be causing random destruction for a while.
Y: O…kay…so, Mewtwo wins, and Buttercup has been, um, temporarily removed from the game
arena.
S: I think she likes it.
Buttercup, sounding far off: Take that! Want a piece of me, do ya? Take this, and that,
and some of these, and one of those!
U: Very interesting spell. I must do reeeesearch!
Uncle wanders off.
S: So much for Uncle.
Me: S'okay, I was about ready to wander off myself.
Y: You? But you're writing this thing, you can't just run off!
Me: That sounds like a challenge to me.
S: Can we please get to the next fights?
Me: Okay, fine. But no more fights until the final round. From now on, this is a talent
competition!
Ref: Sonic, you're up.
Sonic: Check this out!
He starts running really fast, and leaves behind a trail of flame.
He uses the flame to make giant shapes and to spell his own name in giant letters.
Everyone else: Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah!
Sonic: Top that!
Mew: Mew!
Mew uses his psychic powers to make a huge pile of rubble float.
Then he starts flying the rocks in a bunch of circles around himself, the circles shifting
position and forming beautiful geometric figures.
After a few minutes of this, Mew makes the stones hit off each other, one by one, and they
randomly shoot away.
Everyone: Coooooooool!
Ref: Next, Shadow and Bubbles.
Shadow: Okay, here goes nothing.
Shadow does the running and flame-trailing thing, but goes really fast in a single circle,
sometimes tightening it, sometimes widening it.
The effect is that he forms a giant cyclone of fire that is really huge.
It sucks in rubble, and after a few minutes there's a thud and the flames dissipate.
Shadow is on the ground, knocked out after a stray rock whomped him in the head.
Ref: Shadow loses because he was K.O.'ed!
Y: Didn't see that one coming didya?
S: Nope.
Bubbles flies into the air, and uses the blue vapor trail thingy all the Powerpuff Girls
leave behind when they go fast to make a giant heart.
Then she also makes some figure eights and random other designs.
Grand Kai: This is gonna be tough to judge.
Me: That's why I'm making Data do it.
Y: Why Data?
Me: Because he's been comparing the works of Shakespeare internally this entire time and
it's been kinda bugging me. Yo, Data!
Data: Yes?
Me: Who had the best talent artistically.
Data: After close analysis, and with careful consideration of all forms of artistic display
stored in my processor, not to mention calculating -
Me: Data!
Data: Yes?
Me: While I'm still young please?
Data: I pick Mew.
Mew: Mew mew mew mew mew mew! Mew mew!
Y: Uh, can someone remind Mew this isn't an Academy Award?
S: 'I want to thank the academy and my agent' - Mew, this doesn't require an acceptance
speech!
Y: So, how do we decide who Mew gets to fight?
B: Rock Paper Scissors, best two out of three!
Y and S: YOU'RE STILL HERE?!?
Y: Do you know how mad Chiwizard is going to be when she catches you?
S: She'll probably turn you into bread mold or something.
Me: Did some mention my name? Oh look, it's BunnyZilla.
B: I just had a suggestion…
Me: You've learned you're lesson. You can be a Host again.
B: Can I be turned back to normal again too?
Me: Don't push it Slim.
Ref: On you're marks…and GO!
Luigi: Scissors-a cuts paper-a!
Mewtwo: Dang!
Ref: GO!
Luigi: Paper-a covers rock-a!
Mewtwo: Darn it!
Ref: GO!
Luigi: Rock-a smashes single-a pointy thingy-a!
Mewtwo: It's scissors! Cut me some slack, I only have these freaky stubs for fingers!
Ref: Luigi wins.
Mewtwo floats over to a bench to pout.
Y: At last! The end is nigh!
People in the stadium: The end is coming! Run for your lives!
The people in the stadium all run away in a loud, messy, mob of confused and panicky people.
Y: Uh, I meant the end of the games…
B: Smooth Yoshi, real smooth.
S: How can we pick a winner with no body for an audience?
Y: It's not my fault!
Me: Well, I was planning to have the fans here at the stadium pick the overall winner, but
Yoshi just blew that plan sky-high.
Y: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! (Runs away)
S and B: -_0;;
Me: … yeah. Anyway, I got wrap this up so here it is.
Luigi and Mew stand (or float as the case may be) in the now mostly destroyed ring, waiting
expectantly.
Buttercup, in background: You wanna a piece of me? Then eat this! Sucka!
Me: Uh, yeah. So, now for the winner of the Videogame Land Games! And the winner is…
Banjo-Kazooie, who appears out of no where: US!
Everybody else: HUH?
Banjo-Kazooie: We're the Champions!
Me: It's true, Banjo-Kazooie is the Winner. Goodbye!
I duck back down the warp pipe.
S: BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT! ISN'T THIS AGAINST EVERY RULE IN THE BOOK?
Yami Yugi: Legal!
B: WHAT?!?!
Shaddi: There's nothing in the rules stating the winner has to be an actual participant.
All the other contestants, even the ones that are still cans of refried beans, except
Buttercup and Shadow (who's still out cold), circle around Banjo-Kazooie.
The other contestants: We've got a little bone to pick with the two of you.
They chase a screaming Banjo-Kazooie out of the stadium.
Buttercup flys away, still wrecking stuff.
S: Oh well, lets get going.
B: Can I be me again? Please?
Thunderbolt hits Bowser, changing him from bunny to normal - almost.
B: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOW I'M JUST TEENY-WEENIE!
S: Weenie is definitely accurate.
Slippy runs off laughing as the very, very small Bowser chases him, not realizing I have
also added a sign to his back that says 'Step on Me'.
The arena is completely empty, save Shadow and a large gold trophy.
Shadow opens one eye, sees that he's alone, and grabs the trophy.
Shadow: And I'm the real winner!
Shadow runs off with the Trophy.
The End.
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So, what did you think? I hope you people found it as funny as I did.
If I get as inspired again, I might write something else just as funny.
Please send ideas! I'm not paticular and I swear to give complete credit to you if I use your idea somewhere.
But I can't do that if you don't R and R! So please do!
I may have gotten some stuff about the people in here wrong, so please bear with me on mistakes.
Unfortunately, I don't own any of the characters mentioned.
And if I did, i'd be sure to recreate this on national TV as soon as possible.
But I don't. So why are you still listening to me whine about what I don't own?
Go on! Read it!
*has been readjusted for easier reading!*
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Announcer: Hello, and welcome to the first annual Videogame-Land Games!
Y: I'm Yoshi!
S: I'm Slippy Toad!
B: And I'm Bowser Koopa!
Y: We're your hosts! Now, lets get these games started!
S: We've got some pretty tough competitors from all over the place.
B: Yeah, and now we'll see who's the best!
Y: Hailing from Mushroom Kingdom, please welcome Mario, Luigi, Wario, Donkey Kong, and Princess Peach!
S: Straight from Moblius, give a hand for Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Knuckles, and Dr. Eggman!
B: And, just because we thought we could, we're bringing in lots of other random characters!
Y: We can do that?
S: Why not?
B: So, here they are! Please give a warm welcome to Link, Rouge, Banjo-Kazooie, Mew, Mewtwo, and Metal Sonic!
Sonic: Hey! Why'd they let you in?
Msonic: Cause I'm just soooo superior to you, blue boy!
Banjo: Ya know, you're blue too.
Msonic: Are you picking a fight with me?
They fight until a ref comes up.
Ref: Hey, fighting outside a designated competition is against the rules! I'm going to have
to disqualify both of you.
Banjo: Uh, Kazooie an me don't really get this anyhoo. We're going home.
Ref goes to talk with Yoshi, Slippy, and Bowser.
Ref: Very well, Banjo-Kazooie is out! Please wait while we decide the new entries.
Yoshi goes to make a phone call.
Y: I hope they're home.
S: Yeah, we only agreed because you said you were going to pay us.
B: I want my two hundred in small bills.
The phone rings, and Yoshi goes to talk on it.
Y: Really? You will? Okay, deal!
S: What deal? Who're you bringing in?
Y: You'll see.
A warp pipe sprouts, and four blurs jump out.
Me: Tada! It is I, the almighty Authoress Chiwizard!
S: You called her?!?
Y: She said she would help!
Me: Quiet! I already know everything!
B: You know who's going to win the Games? Tell us!
Me: Heck no, I'm making this up as I go along! Besides, telling you would ruin the story.
Now, shut up before I give your job to Scooby-Doo!
B: Yes ma'm.
Me: Now, as for your problem…lets see, 15, plus four, divided by the square root of
infinity…like I told Yoshi, I am willing to bring in a new character…but it has to be three
new characters! Say hello to the Powerpuff Girls!
Everyone else: Hello to the Powerpuff Girls!
Me: -_-;
S: Are you sure they can participate?
Buttercup: Heck yeh! We do have video games, yuh know!
Bubbles: Duh!
Me: Now play nice girls. Resume the story!
Announcer: Now, every one pick a number for the first event!
Metal Sonic: What's the first event?
Announcer: I was getting to that. *Ahem* The first event is a series of mini games from
Mario Party! You will be divided into five groups. Group A is everybody who drew multiples
of three and Group B people drew multiples of four. C is multiples of five, and D is anybody
that drew the Quadratic formula.
Link: Hey, I got a picture of the Taj Mahal!
Announcer: People who drew strange pictures are in Group E.
Bubbles: I got a Unicorn!
After all this got finished, they all stood in their groups.
Y: Here are the standings!
A - Sonic, Mario, Blossom, Knuckles
B - Shadow, Mewtwo, Buttercup, DK
C - Tails, Mew, Luigi, Peach
D - Eggman, Wario, Rouge, Metal Sonic
E - Link, Bubbles
Sonic: Hah hah! You got the fat guys!
Msonic: Shut up!
Wario and Eggman: Yeah, it's a glandular disorder!
Knuckles: Sure it is.
S: Okay! Enough with the bickering! It's time for everyone to get their mini games!
B: Hoo boy! First up, It's a four-way assault between A, B, C, and D!
Link and Bubbles: What about us?
Y: You guys, uh, thumb wrestle or something.
Bubbles: But I don't have fingers!
B: Then play blackjack!
Link: Okay.
They start a game.
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Twenty!
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Twenty-one!
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Forty!
Link: Dang it!
Everyone else: -_-;;
S: O-kay…back to the games, first up is a classic!
Y: Bumper Balls, one of my favorites!
It's Sonic, Buttercup, Peach, and Eggman.
Sonic: Take that, Eggman!
Eggman: Stop calling me that! My name is Robotnik. ROBOTNIK, I TELL YOU! WHOA! WATCH
OUUUUTTTT!
His ball goes out of control, knocking into Peach and Buttercup's before falling off the
island. Peach's falls off after him.
Sonic: Great, now it's me vs. some preschooler.
Buttercup: Hey! I go to kindergarten! Time for a hiney-whupping!
She rams into Sonic hard, knocking him off.
Y: And It's ten points for B!
S: That'll teach Sonic to tease. You never want to get on Buttercup's bad side.
Sonic, who's holding an ice bag on his head: Tell me about it.
Meanwhile…
Link: Hit me.
Bubbles: Three hundred forty-six!
Link: Dang!
B: You guys, the point of Blackjack is to get as close as you can to twenty-one without
going over it.
Link: Oh, we know. Hit me.
Bubbles: One million!
Link: Dang!
Y: What the -YOU CAN'T GET A MILLION WITH A NORMAL DECK! Give me that!
S: These aren't cards! These are blank pieces of paper!
Link: Yeah, so?
B: For the love of - here! Use this deck and play five card stud until we call you!
Bubbles: Okay. Dealer takes three!
Y, S, and B: -_-;;
Y: Where were we? Oh, yeah! Next game!
S: This looks like a dozy. What's 'Platform Peril'?
B: It's where they have to hop over a bunch of platforms that collapse underneath them.
Nothing fancy.
Y, after checking the roster: Uh, we're going to impose a no-flying rule for this one.
S: Yeah, can't have cheaters.
It's Tails, DK, Wario, and Knuckles.
Wario: Mwahahahaha! Eat my dust, suckers!
Knuckles: Hey fat boy, your epidermis is showing!
Wario: It is? Hey, wait a minute - AHHHHH!
As Wario was figuring out what Epidermis meant, he stopped and the platform he was standing
on fell.
B: Heh, good one!
Knuckles and DK are dead even as they reach the end, but at the last second Tails shoots
over their heads to win.
DK: No fair! He flew!
Ref: No, it's fair.
Knuckles: And what makes it fair?
Tails: I can only glide, remember?
Knuckles: Oh yeah, I can too.
Y: And it's a come-from-behind victory for C! They receive ten points.
S: Now it's time for the two-on-two!
B: Yeah. First, it's B vs. C in Handcar Havoc.
Shadow and Mewtwo are against Mew and Luigi.
Shadow: So, he's the original, and you're the clone?
Mewtwo: I believe I said that.
Both cars go really fast with C's in the lead, until Luigi and Mew's suddenly tips over.
Luigi: Mama mia!
Mewtwo and Shadow win.
Shadow: Like it was going to be any other way? We are superior life forms!
Mew: Mew mew mew! Mew! Mew mew!
Mewtwo: What do you mean, cheated?
Luigi: I saw-a two flashes of light-a! They-a knocked us-a off-a course.
Shadow: You really think we would do that?
Both Mewtwo and Shadow are looking very shifty, and they start whistling nervously while Mew
and Luigi complain to the Ref.
Ref: I don't see any damage to support your claims.
Mew: Mew mew mew!
Ref: Well, yes I am aware a Confusion Attack wouldn't leave a mark, but Chaos Spear would
and that's what I'm not seeing. B wins.
Shadow: Guess it's a good thing I missed after all - what?
Y: *Sigh* Looks like ten more points to B.
S: Some people will do anything to win.
B: What's wrong with that?
Y&S: -_-;;
Me: Some people never change.
B: Hey, why are you still here?
Me: I'm writing the fic, genius! If I leave, you can kiss your existence goodbye!
B: Jeeze, ask one question! Let's move on to the next game.
Y: This time it's A vs. D in Bombsket Ball!
Blossom and Mario vs. Rouge and Metal Sonic.
Msonic: Check me out!
He starts doing fancy dribbling and various other show-offing techniques, until Blossom
steals, passes the ball to Mario, and he gets around Rouge to score.
Msonic: Huh?
Rouge: You cost us the game, you ding-dong!
She begins beating Metal Sonic over the head as Blossom and Mario give each other
high-fives.
Y: And, now for the score so far!
A - 10 pts
B - 20 pts
C - 10 pts
D - 0 pts
E - ? pts
S: Hey, we need to have E do something.
B: Okay. Hey, E! Get over here with the others.
Link: But I was winning!
B: Shut it. I have an announcement!
Y: You do?
S: I don't like this…
B: Everyone, for getting this far, we're handing out bonus points!
S: Can we do that?
Me: Nothing wrong as far as I see.
B: A and C get 30 pts, B gets 20 points, and for being good sports D and E each get 50!
Y: But that gives everyone the same amount of points!
Me: Good point, but I'm not using the points for anything.
S: We're just handing them out to keep them happy while pretending to keep score.
Me: Good boy Slip. Looks like I'm not replacing you with Falco after all.
From background: Falco, you owe me forty-eight bucks!
Falco: Alright, just stop gloating about it Fox!
S: Hey! They were betting on me!
Me: Don't worry about it. Now, I will inform you of stage two.
I huddle with Y, S, and B for a while.
Y: Is that even ethical?
B: Sure it is! It'll be great!
S: Better let the announcer tell them.
Announcer: And, NOW! Time for the second half of the Videogame-Land Games!
Y: Okay you guys, the Authoress has announced a radical new method for deciding who gets to
go to the next part.
S: Everybody stand in a line, and every tenth man gets killed.
B: No you idiot, that's how we're deciding who has to play bingo with Syrup.
Link: You guys know Syrup?
Y: Never mind! The way is…
S: I remember now! Stand in a line, and don't move!
B: The Authoress has hired a special contractor to organize the cut.
Person that pops out of nowhere: This better be good, I was in the shower!
Me: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the famous Q of Star Trek?
Everybody cheers and claps.
Q: Well, at least your friends have good taste. You wanted me to eliminate some of them
from the contest?
Me: As humanely as possible, please.
Q: Sure thing.
Q turns into a small thundercloud, and begins randomly electrocuting people. Those that get
hit turn into cans of refried beans.
Msonic: Hey, he turned me into a can of beans!
Wario: Oh shut up.
Q turns back into his usual figure.
Q: That's it?
Me: Yep. Thank you Q. Everybody, lets give him a big hand!
Everyone claps and cheers, the cans of beans not as enthusiastically as they did before.
Q: Anytime. Now, I'm off to bother Picard about a hair piece!
He disappears.
Msonic: Didn't you tell him to do it humanely?
Me: Yeah, but this was both humane and very funny. Would somebody get rid of all these
cans?
Koopa Troopa and Toad shove all the cans to the side.
Only Sonic, Shadow, Luigi, Buttercup, Bubbles, Mew, Mewtwo, and Rouge are left.
Y: Next up, a commercial!
S: We have commercials?
B: You missed the meeting where we discussed that.
Y: As I recall, you gave him wrong directions and promised to pay me off if you could do
commercials!
B: Well, I'm not paying you squat! I am the greatest force around!
Me, posing as a huge, disembodied voice: IS THAT A FACT?
Bowser gets hit by lighting, turning him into a fluffy pink bunny.
B: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't be a bunny!
Me, still posing: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A JERK! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -
cough, choke, hack - HAHAHAHAHA!
Y: Getting back to the Games…
S: We're doing the last part old-school. This is now the Gameland World Martial Arts
Tournament!
B: Oh boy! Fighting!
Y: Be quiet, bunny boy.
B: I may be a bunny, but I can still kick your butt!
Y: Bring it!
They fight, and Yoshi wins by slurping Bowser into his mouth with his tongue.
B: Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle: Who is making that racket? UNCLE CANNOT SLEEP!
S: 0_-;
Yoshi spits Bowser out.
Y: Getting back to the games…
Uncle: Where am I? And who is tending my shop?!?
Me: Relax Uncle. I brought you here, and the Shop is taken care of.
Switching to Uncle's Shop…
Picard: What the heck did you do my ship, Q!!!!
Switching back…
Me: Uncle, I brought you here to replace mister high and mighty Bunny Boy over here.
Uncle: Oh, okay.
B: That's no fair! He doesn't have a game, or - ouch!
Uncle raps Bowser on the head.
U: I may not be a video game character, but I know my fighting!
Me: In honor of Uncle's presence, we're bringing in a new fighter. Say hello to Hauk-Foo!
Hauk-Foo: Where am I?
Slippy hands Uncle the Dog Talisman on a string.
Me: We were wondering if you two would honor us with a example fight.
Hauk-Foo: I fear no one!
Uncle, after slipping on the Talisman: I will fight.
HF: You again? Very well.
They fight, Hauk-Foo using moves like 'Monkey Plucks two Peaches', and 'Angry Wolf
slaughters Lamb', and 'Snake Cuts Grass', Uncle blocking all of them easily.
HK: Angry Crow takes Flight!
U: Thank you for sharing, Angry Crow!
Uncle knocks Hauk-Foo out of the ring in midair, and I sent him back to wherever he was.
U: I will judge.
B: What about me?
Me: DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK OVER THERE!
B: Yes sir.
Y: That was very entertaining.
S: I'll say. Where did that weirdo learn to fight?
U: I ask myself that every time I see him.
Announcer: Okay, that's long enough. WAKE UP!
The contestants had been lying around, mostly asleep. They all jumped as the announcer
yelled.
Announcer: Okay, now everyone take a number. It will correspond with your fight.
They all draw from a box.
Y: Hey, I better not see any trading over there!
S: We all set?
Announcer: Here is the order of the matches!
Fight 1 - Luigi vs. Rouge
Fight 2 - Mewtwo vs. Buttercup
Fight 3 - Sonic vs. Mew
Fight 4 - Bubbles vs. Shadow
Y: What a powerhouse lineup!
S: I can't wait to see these guys in action!
Ref: Here are the ground rules! Just like in Dragonball Z. You win by KOing, if your
opponent falls outside the ring, or they give up.
Other voice from nowhere: You get disqualified if you kill your opponent!
Y: Who's the new guy?
Me: Well, I was thinking you can never have too many judges, so here are some more to work
with Uncle.
In walks Grand Kai, the four lesser Kai's, Shaddi, Yami Yugi, and Data.
Data: This is odd. The last thing I recall was seeing Q on the Enterprise.
Me: Here's the story. Memorize it.
Data scans the piece of paper in seconds.
Data: I have never done anything like this before.
West Kai: Yeah, why'd you invite him?
Me: It's because he's one of my favorite characters, right next to Spock and Q and -
B: Now you got her going. Nice job!
S: Why are you still here?
B: I don't know where I live.
Everyone else: o_0;;
Y: Moving on…
Me: Okay, I figured the Kai's because this is a Martial Arts Tournament. Data can use the
experience, and Shadi and Yami Yugi are here to punish cheaters.
Yami Yugi and Shadi: Alright!
Announcer: Now for the first fight!
Luigi: I'm-a sorry. I don't-a like to hit-a girls.
Rouge: Don't sweat it. You won't be able to touch me.
They fight, and are prettily evenly matched.
Luigi: Ouch-a! What I wouldn't-a give for-a fire flower!
Fire Flower lands on his head.
South Kai: Hey, he's using outside equipment!
Shaddi: Nothing in the rules against that.
Luigi starts shooting fire balls. Rouge dodges in midair and hits Luigi with her shovel.
West Kai: Well, what about her?
Yami Yugi: It's legal.
There's a lot more fighting.
North Kai: *Yawn* This is entertaining and all, but can somebody win already?
Me: First, you must make me laugh.
North Kai: John Jacob Jingle-Himer Shmit!
Me: *Snort* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
North Kai: I am the funniest guy in the universe!
Me: Hoo ha, that was a good one! Okay, here's your winner.
Luigi tries to use a fire ball to propel himself into the air where Rouge is and it seems to
work, but then the fire ball bounces back up and explodes in his face.
Luigi: Mama mia!
Rouge starts laughing, and she accidentally flies into a pole and falls outside the ring.
Ref: The winner is Luigi!
Y: And the only remaining representative of the Mushroom Kingdom goes to the semi-finals.
Yes!
U: Very interesting fight. Now for next fight!
S: Next up is Mewtwo vs. Buttercup. Uh, we better get a clean-up crew standing by for this
fight.
Y: Yeah, both Mewtwo and Buttercup are real heavy hitters.
S: Especially Buttercup.
Buttercup: You ready to get it on, Tiny?
Mewtwo: Bring it, kiddo.
They punch and kick, and there's lots of explosions from their fists colliding at high speeds.
East Kai: Wow, it's just like the finals of the Otherworld Tournament!
Buttercup and Mewtwo break apart momentarily.
Buttercup: Lets turn up the heat!
She rubs her hands together really fast until she forms a ball of fire.
Buttercup: Eat this!
She flings it, but Mewtwo uses his psychic power to deflect it, and it ends up hitting the
judges area.
East Kai: That brat attacked me!
Shaddi: Legal.
Yami Yugi: Nothing against attacking the Judges in the rules.
Mewtwo: Is that all you've got?
He powers up, and rocks fly into the air ala DBZ.
He uses confusion to send all the rocks hurtling towards Buttercup.
She uses a set of really fast punches to shatter all the rocks, but Mewtwo slammed into her
from above and knocked her out of the ring.
Ref: The winner is Mewtwo!
Buttercup: You cheater, you tricked me!
Buttercup, blinded with rage, starts attacking Mewtwo again.
Yami Yugi and Shaddi: HEY! FIGHTING OUTSIDE A GAME SITUATION IS AGAINST THE RULES!
They use their powers, and Buttercup starts hallucinating, thinking every single rock she
sees is somebody to beat up.
She flies off, randomly destroying rocks and buildings as she goes.
Yami Yugi: Uh, guess we screwed it up.
Shaddi: Sorry. She'll be causing random destruction for a while.
Y: O…kay…so, Mewtwo wins, and Buttercup has been, um, temporarily removed from the game
arena.
S: I think she likes it.
Buttercup, sounding far off: Take that! Want a piece of me, do ya? Take this, and that,
and some of these, and one of those!
U: Very interesting spell. I must do reeeesearch!
Uncle wanders off.
S: So much for Uncle.
Me: S'okay, I was about ready to wander off myself.
Y: You? But you're writing this thing, you can't just run off!
Me: That sounds like a challenge to me.
S: Can we please get to the next fights?
Me: Okay, fine. But no more fights until the final round. From now on, this is a talent
competition!
Ref: Sonic, you're up.
Sonic: Check this out!
He starts running really fast, and leaves behind a trail of flame.
He uses the flame to make giant shapes and to spell his own name in giant letters.
Everyone else: Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah!
Sonic: Top that!
Mew: Mew!
Mew uses his psychic powers to make a huge pile of rubble float.
Then he starts flying the rocks in a bunch of circles around himself, the circles shifting
position and forming beautiful geometric figures.
After a few minutes of this, Mew makes the stones hit off each other, one by one, and they
randomly shoot away.
Everyone: Coooooooool!
Ref: Next, Shadow and Bubbles.
Shadow: Okay, here goes nothing.
Shadow does the running and flame-trailing thing, but goes really fast in a single circle,
sometimes tightening it, sometimes widening it.
The effect is that he forms a giant cyclone of fire that is really huge.
It sucks in rubble, and after a few minutes there's a thud and the flames dissipate.
Shadow is on the ground, knocked out after a stray rock whomped him in the head.
Ref: Shadow loses because he was K.O.'ed!
Y: Didn't see that one coming didya?
S: Nope.
Bubbles flies into the air, and uses the blue vapor trail thingy all the Powerpuff Girls
leave behind when they go fast to make a giant heart.
Then she also makes some figure eights and random other designs.
Grand Kai: This is gonna be tough to judge.
Me: That's why I'm making Data do it.
Y: Why Data?
Me: Because he's been comparing the works of Shakespeare internally this entire time and
it's been kinda bugging me. Yo, Data!
Data: Yes?
Me: Who had the best talent artistically.
Data: After close analysis, and with careful consideration of all forms of artistic display
stored in my processor, not to mention calculating -
Me: Data!
Data: Yes?
Me: While I'm still young please?
Data: I pick Mew.
Mew: Mew mew mew mew mew mew! Mew mew!
Y: Uh, can someone remind Mew this isn't an Academy Award?
S: 'I want to thank the academy and my agent' - Mew, this doesn't require an acceptance
speech!
Y: So, how do we decide who Mew gets to fight?
B: Rock Paper Scissors, best two out of three!
Y and S: YOU'RE STILL HERE?!?
Y: Do you know how mad Chiwizard is going to be when she catches you?
S: She'll probably turn you into bread mold or something.
Me: Did some mention my name? Oh look, it's BunnyZilla.
B: I just had a suggestion…
Me: You've learned you're lesson. You can be a Host again.
B: Can I be turned back to normal again too?
Me: Don't push it Slim.
Ref: On you're marks…and GO!
Luigi: Scissors-a cuts paper-a!
Mewtwo: Dang!
Ref: GO!
Luigi: Paper-a covers rock-a!
Mewtwo: Darn it!
Ref: GO!
Luigi: Rock-a smashes single-a pointy thingy-a!
Mewtwo: It's scissors! Cut me some slack, I only have these freaky stubs for fingers!
Ref: Luigi wins.
Mewtwo floats over to a bench to pout.
Y: At last! The end is nigh!
People in the stadium: The end is coming! Run for your lives!
The people in the stadium all run away in a loud, messy, mob of confused and panicky people.
Y: Uh, I meant the end of the games…
B: Smooth Yoshi, real smooth.
S: How can we pick a winner with no body for an audience?
Y: It's not my fault!
Me: Well, I was planning to have the fans here at the stadium pick the overall winner, but
Yoshi just blew that plan sky-high.
Y: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! (Runs away)
S and B: -_0;;
Me: … yeah. Anyway, I got wrap this up so here it is.
Luigi and Mew stand (or float as the case may be) in the now mostly destroyed ring, waiting
expectantly.
Buttercup, in background: You wanna a piece of me? Then eat this! Sucka!
Me: Uh, yeah. So, now for the winner of the Videogame Land Games! And the winner is…
Banjo-Kazooie, who appears out of no where: US!
Everybody else: HUH?
Banjo-Kazooie: We're the Champions!
Me: It's true, Banjo-Kazooie is the Winner. Goodbye!
I duck back down the warp pipe.
S: BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT! ISN'T THIS AGAINST EVERY RULE IN THE BOOK?
Yami Yugi: Legal!
B: WHAT?!?!
Shaddi: There's nothing in the rules stating the winner has to be an actual participant.
All the other contestants, even the ones that are still cans of refried beans, except
Buttercup and Shadow (who's still out cold), circle around Banjo-Kazooie.
The other contestants: We've got a little bone to pick with the two of you.
They chase a screaming Banjo-Kazooie out of the stadium.
Buttercup flys away, still wrecking stuff.
S: Oh well, lets get going.
B: Can I be me again? Please?
Thunderbolt hits Bowser, changing him from bunny to normal - almost.
B: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOW I'M JUST TEENY-WEENIE!
S: Weenie is definitely accurate.
Slippy runs off laughing as the very, very small Bowser chases him, not realizing I have
also added a sign to his back that says 'Step on Me'.
The arena is completely empty, save Shadow and a large gold trophy.
Shadow opens one eye, sees that he's alone, and grabs the trophy.
Shadow: And I'm the real winner!
Shadow runs off with the Trophy.
The End.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
So, what did you think? I hope you people found it as funny as I did.
If I get as inspired again, I might write something else just as funny.
Please send ideas! I'm not paticular and I swear to give complete credit to you if I use your idea somewhere.
But I can't do that if you don't R and R! So please do!