Everyone was ultra-busy with party preparations in the Pseudo-Forbidden Forest, in the Middle of Nowhere. Gandalf and Obi-Wan strung up a gigantic banner everyone signed that read "Have Fun Chick and Spidey! Love, the Gang" between two huge pine trees, with Harry Potter floating in front on his broomstick to tell them if it was placed evenly. Satine and Commodus were arguing prissily over whether the bows and ribbons around the tents and trees should be pink or blue, while Zidler and Toulouse decided to get an early start in the party and began squirting each other mercilessly with Dr Pepper-loaded water guns, eventually resorting to beating each other senseless with the weapons themselves. Christian and Obi-Wan (admiring each other's exquisite features) sorted out the food, while Frodo and Sam ate it. Aragorn and Legolas talked about the good old days in Middle-earth, as they organized the tents and sleeping bags and lingerie, and such. Tara was hauling a Port-a-Potty some yards away from the big scene, behind the tents, giving Phoebe a few evil glares along her way--Tara and Phoebe had gotten into a spat earlier that day as they were preparing to leave. Phoebe was searching for one of her copies of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and thought it might be in the big closet in the hall, but the door budged when she tried to open it. After a few moments of building up strength, muttering things like "riki tiki tiki" for inspiration, she finally pried the closet door open and was immediately assaulted. Harry Potter's broomstick, Gandalf's staff, Aragorn's sword, Legolas' bow-and-arrow, and two light sabers came pouring out on top of her. "TARA!" she yelled beneath a hunk of Jedi robes and Elf cloaks. When Tara showed, the two immediately launched a war of obscenities, arguing over where they should save these other-worldly belongings but, most certainly not, in the hall closet with Phoebe's 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' (which was the only thing in it prior). Eventually all was ended when Tara tossed Phoebe's book over her head and stalked off. The two hadn't spoken since. Back to present….
As Phoebe busied herself with putting plastic umbrellas upside-down into glasses of mud-flavored Kool-Aid, Ewan slipped in, pulling her secretly aside. He fidgeted.
"Um.. is something wrong?" Phoebe asked, noticing Ewan had a dark complexion and a scruffy jaw, not that any amount of scruff and darkness could spoil that delectable face.
"I.. I haven't been sleeping very well, Pheebs."
"Oh? Gandalf snoring again? I'll have a talk--"
"No, it's not ol' Gandy… although now that you mention it, someone should stuff a sock into that bloody hole in his face. But that's not the problem... It's this bloody dream I've been having, over and over, the same one!"
"Hmmmm, do share," said Phoebe sexily, stealing closer to him with raised brows, imagining the sorts of dreams Ewan (aka Sex Kitten) must be having.
Ewan leaned forward in the utmost secrecy, his eyes always darting around to be sure no one was near. "I keep seeing this.. giant… fiery….. crotch."
Phoebe gasped, watching Ewan run his hand anxiously through his bushy reddish hair. She caught a glint from his hand, from a gold Ring that lay dully on his ring finger.
"I know it sounds odd!" continued Ewan. "It's a big… big.. black, oh it's horrible, terrifying, big black and orange--"
"Ewan!" intercepted Phoebe, realizing. "That's not a crotch. It's the Great Eye of Sauron!"
Ewan considered, even though he didn't know who the devil Sauron was, he smiled brightly and exclaimed boisterously, "Oh! Well that makes me feel much better, thanks love!" and donating a kiss to her cheek, he skated away, chuckling to himself and laughing merrily, obviously very relieved that he wasn't some perv who subconsciously liked fiery crotches. "The Eye of Sauron! Just an eye!" he repeated to himself, amused as he left.
Phoebe was perturbed however, and when Tara returned from the deep forest, wiping sweat from her brow and smelling awkward, Phoebe pulled her aside.
"Dude! We--huh, what's that smell?"
"I just moved the potty, eh, give me a break!" said Tara, jerking away defensively. But Phoebe grabbed and shoved her against a tree, looking very serious.
"Now listen," said Phoebe, trying not to breathe through her nose, "We have to declare a truce so I can tell you something."
"Remove your hands from my throat," replied Tara frostily, "and perhaps we can do business."
Phoebe contended, then said hastily, "Ewan… has seen The Eye."
Tara shifted uncomfortably. "But how!"
"Well how do ya think!" scolded the other.
"Well," said Tara, as if it pained her, "we must tell Obi-Wan."
Phoebe eyed her squarely. "And WHY would we do that?"
"Uh.. because.. he's got the Eye!"
"What?!"
"Wait," said Tara suddenly, observing the large O-shape of Phoebe's mouth, accompanied by the V-shape of her eyebrows. "What 'eye' are we discussing here?"
"The eye of Sauron, you dotard!"
"OH!"
Phoebe gave Tara a hysterical look. "What freakin' eye did you think I was talking about?!"
"Um, oh, nothing! Let's go--" but Phoebe stopped Tara before she could snape, oops, I mean -snake- away.
"Taaaaara. What eye?"
"Well, see," explained Tara reasonably, "Obi has.. this.. birthmark on his.. well, you know, and it looks like an eyeball! It's really light, you have to get real close. We jokingly refer to it as the Eye in the Ball--"
"OH," said Phoebe hurriedly, "okaaaaay then."
"So Ewan has the One Ring! I thought when Frodo said "he quit" the ring would have magically disappeared or something…" said Tara, enthusiastically avoiding the birthmark subject.
"No, unfortunately, but it doesn't seem to be causing that much trouble yet. Now what are we going to do?"
"Uh, take it away from him and throw it BACK into the fiery chasm FROM whence it CAME?"
Phoebe stuffed her hands in her pocket, for fear of using them to backhand Tara. "Well, obviously the Ring doesn't affect us like it does them, because Ewan didn't disappear while he was wearing it. He just told me he's been having some spooky dream about a fiery, um, eye."
"So we give him some valerian root and move along with life, geez." Tara brushed her foul, smelly hair from her eyes, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Fine. We won't worry about it this weekend, but after the party we have to think seriously. We can't just let the Ring run wild! You know Frank, the Goblin and Saruman are still missing--and I highly doubt HE has forgotten the Ring." Phoebe sighed. "So let's just do this thing, and sort it out later."
Tara agreed, and together they walked to the middle of the camp, where everyone was slowly gathering once finished with their individual duties. Pretty soon a car dripping with webs came driving up, and they recognized it to be Spidey and Chickie's.
"OKAY! Everyone hide!!!" screamed the girls, and so everyone hid. At once the entire place was cleared of all living things. Even the birds kept their beaks shut, and the snake Harry was talking to in some weird spitty language stuffed his tail in its mouth.
Chickie and Spidey stepped out of the car and wandered around in awe at the deserted, extravagant party setup.
"What the--"
…but before Spidey could finish, everyone pounced out of their hiding places and yelled as one: "SURPRISE!!!!!!"
Chickie and Spidey received a ton of hugs and thwacks and "aw shucks" and "good lawdy" and "get your hand off my--"…etc. Suffice to say, they were thoroughly impressed and happy, joking around with Harry Potter who had actually seen 'A Knight's Tale' twenty times.
The party began at once.
As Phoebe busied herself with putting plastic umbrellas upside-down into glasses of mud-flavored Kool-Aid, Ewan slipped in, pulling her secretly aside. He fidgeted.
"Um.. is something wrong?" Phoebe asked, noticing Ewan had a dark complexion and a scruffy jaw, not that any amount of scruff and darkness could spoil that delectable face.
"I.. I haven't been sleeping very well, Pheebs."
"Oh? Gandalf snoring again? I'll have a talk--"
"No, it's not ol' Gandy… although now that you mention it, someone should stuff a sock into that bloody hole in his face. But that's not the problem... It's this bloody dream I've been having, over and over, the same one!"
"Hmmmm, do share," said Phoebe sexily, stealing closer to him with raised brows, imagining the sorts of dreams Ewan (aka Sex Kitten) must be having.
Ewan leaned forward in the utmost secrecy, his eyes always darting around to be sure no one was near. "I keep seeing this.. giant… fiery….. crotch."
Phoebe gasped, watching Ewan run his hand anxiously through his bushy reddish hair. She caught a glint from his hand, from a gold Ring that lay dully on his ring finger.
"I know it sounds odd!" continued Ewan. "It's a big… big.. black, oh it's horrible, terrifying, big black and orange--"
"Ewan!" intercepted Phoebe, realizing. "That's not a crotch. It's the Great Eye of Sauron!"
Ewan considered, even though he didn't know who the devil Sauron was, he smiled brightly and exclaimed boisterously, "Oh! Well that makes me feel much better, thanks love!" and donating a kiss to her cheek, he skated away, chuckling to himself and laughing merrily, obviously very relieved that he wasn't some perv who subconsciously liked fiery crotches. "The Eye of Sauron! Just an eye!" he repeated to himself, amused as he left.
Phoebe was perturbed however, and when Tara returned from the deep forest, wiping sweat from her brow and smelling awkward, Phoebe pulled her aside.
"Dude! We--huh, what's that smell?"
"I just moved the potty, eh, give me a break!" said Tara, jerking away defensively. But Phoebe grabbed and shoved her against a tree, looking very serious.
"Now listen," said Phoebe, trying not to breathe through her nose, "We have to declare a truce so I can tell you something."
"Remove your hands from my throat," replied Tara frostily, "and perhaps we can do business."
Phoebe contended, then said hastily, "Ewan… has seen The Eye."
Tara shifted uncomfortably. "But how!"
"Well how do ya think!" scolded the other.
"Well," said Tara, as if it pained her, "we must tell Obi-Wan."
Phoebe eyed her squarely. "And WHY would we do that?"
"Uh.. because.. he's got the Eye!"
"What?!"
"Wait," said Tara suddenly, observing the large O-shape of Phoebe's mouth, accompanied by the V-shape of her eyebrows. "What 'eye' are we discussing here?"
"The eye of Sauron, you dotard!"
"OH!"
Phoebe gave Tara a hysterical look. "What freakin' eye did you think I was talking about?!"
"Um, oh, nothing! Let's go--" but Phoebe stopped Tara before she could snape, oops, I mean -snake- away.
"Taaaaara. What eye?"
"Well, see," explained Tara reasonably, "Obi has.. this.. birthmark on his.. well, you know, and it looks like an eyeball! It's really light, you have to get real close. We jokingly refer to it as the Eye in the Ball--"
"OH," said Phoebe hurriedly, "okaaaaay then."
"So Ewan has the One Ring! I thought when Frodo said "he quit" the ring would have magically disappeared or something…" said Tara, enthusiastically avoiding the birthmark subject.
"No, unfortunately, but it doesn't seem to be causing that much trouble yet. Now what are we going to do?"
"Uh, take it away from him and throw it BACK into the fiery chasm FROM whence it CAME?"
Phoebe stuffed her hands in her pocket, for fear of using them to backhand Tara. "Well, obviously the Ring doesn't affect us like it does them, because Ewan didn't disappear while he was wearing it. He just told me he's been having some spooky dream about a fiery, um, eye."
"So we give him some valerian root and move along with life, geez." Tara brushed her foul, smelly hair from her eyes, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Fine. We won't worry about it this weekend, but after the party we have to think seriously. We can't just let the Ring run wild! You know Frank, the Goblin and Saruman are still missing--and I highly doubt HE has forgotten the Ring." Phoebe sighed. "So let's just do this thing, and sort it out later."
Tara agreed, and together they walked to the middle of the camp, where everyone was slowly gathering once finished with their individual duties. Pretty soon a car dripping with webs came driving up, and they recognized it to be Spidey and Chickie's.
"OKAY! Everyone hide!!!" screamed the girls, and so everyone hid. At once the entire place was cleared of all living things. Even the birds kept their beaks shut, and the snake Harry was talking to in some weird spitty language stuffed his tail in its mouth.
Chickie and Spidey stepped out of the car and wandered around in awe at the deserted, extravagant party setup.
"What the--"
…but before Spidey could finish, everyone pounced out of their hiding places and yelled as one: "SURPRISE!!!!!!"
Chickie and Spidey received a ton of hugs and thwacks and "aw shucks" and "good lawdy" and "get your hand off my--"…etc. Suffice to say, they were thoroughly impressed and happy, joking around with Harry Potter who had actually seen 'A Knight's Tale' twenty times.
The party began at once.