"Dear GOD!" cried Tara. "They're all at HOGWARTS! What does it mean?!
What's going to happen? Do you think they'll be alright? Do you think this
is what Prot meant by us saving mankind? What if we fail! Pheeblebrox!!
What if we FAIL! What if we can never find them again, what if--"
SLAP.
"Pull yourself together, man!" yelled Phoebe. "Don't Panic. Haven't you learned anything!?"
Tara became quiet; sulking.
"So.. is.. anyone else going to die today?" Ron asked nervously.
"No Ron, not today," sighed Phoebe. "I'm tired. Bah. Let's go to bed and deal with this tomorrow."
As is usually the case with these strange procrastinating breeds of human, a little sleepy time helped everything. Everyone went back to their assorted Houses, dressed in their pj's (or buffness), and turned out the lights. Phoebe and Christian already had their beds pushed together to make one, but when Christian insisted that Ewan stay, Ewan lay on the other side of Phoebe. Needless to say, scantily clad in the arms of two versions of Mr. McGregor, Phoebe slept quite peacefully. (Wench.)
The next morning was drizzly and lazy. Nothing out of the ordinary (save for the already out-of-the-ordinary situation) seemed to be in progress. Sure, they were now missing Harry Potter, Commodus, Pippin, Merry, Frodo, and Sam on account of a letter the long-dead Maxmius wrote followed by brief visits from Prot and Snape. But besides that, everything was in order.
Or so they thought.......
Phoebe slid out from between the two gorgeous men with whom she crashed during the night, causing them to cling together in absence of her body's warmth. She paused to absorb the image, smiling goofily and inwardly dying with laughter at how jealous Tara would be to see the Ewan-on-Ewan beauty of it all.
She sauntered into the kitchen, clicking the "on" button of the coffee- maker; not that she necessarily drank coffee, but it seemed like an interesting morning-type thing to do. Besides, someone else might like coffee in the morning. Like Samwise, who always snuck out of his House to come for a cup.
'Aww, Samwise,' she thought. 'He's gone now. Sigh.'
When the coffee finished brewing, she took the pot carefully in her hands and slipped into her flip-flops with the intention of offering some to the other Houses. But when she opened the door, a spider slid across her foot. There were a number of reactions she may have had to this event, but she chose the one which caused her to jerk wildly--the coffee pot flew out of her hands and landed on someone who was already standing in the doorway. The pot shattered all over the ground, but luckily the stranger's shirt was kind enough to soak up most of the hot, steaming liquid.
"Man alive!" she gasped, swatting at her foot. "I thought we got rid of those little--" She paused, realizing the presence of someone else. She stood upright and tried to adjust her eyes to the sunlight, but she could barely focus on the figure in front of her.
"I'm really sorry about the coffee!" she said, exasperated. "A spider was coming at me, fangs unleashed! And I didn't see you. Sorry bout that! I have a spare shirt, if you need it..." She squinted, still trying to see who it was.
"That's alright," he said timidly, wringing out his sleeves. "I do need your help though. I... I think I'm lost."
"Er........." Phoebe stared, not quite sure she was seeing what she was seeing. "Frodo?" she murmered. "Frodo, s'that you? Back from Hogwarts? You... cut your hair, and.. grew taller.. and... you..."
"Oh no!" the man chuckled. "I'm not Frodo, although I did play him once in a movie. My name is Elijah.. I'm really sorry I came here so early, it's just--"
"I spilled coffee on Elijah Wood!" Phoebe whispered harshly. "You're.. Elijah WOOD? The REAL Elijah?" She felt faint.
"Um.. yes, that I'm aware of. And.. yes.. I am wearing steaming hot coffee. My perception is just fine, and yours, eheheh?"
Phoebe was very quiet for a very long time.
"Pheeblebrox!!!!!" Tara's voice snapped Phoebe back into reality, and sure enough Tara was herself running and yelling across the yard toward the House where Phoebe stood. Tara mindlessly shoved Elijah Wood as she panted into the doorway. "You have to come quick! You'll NEVER GUESS who's here!"
Phoebe coughed loudly, gesturing toward Elijah. Tara just blinked stupidly, glanced half-way at Elijah, and demanded Phoebe get a move on. "Come on, stop fooling around, you have to--"
"Hello," interrupted Elijah, startling Tara out of her pasty skin. "My name is Elijah. I think I'm lost."
Tara just stared directly at him and said without turning away, "Pheeblebrox.... I think.. we have a problem."
At that moment, a man by the name of Joaquin Phoenix (not Commodus) strolled into the door. "Um, excuse me?" he said, addressing Tara. "Sorry to interrupt. Yeah.. there's someone else here, and I think--"
"OH MY SWEET LORD!" Phoebe came near-death at the sight of the mesmerizing Phoenix while Tara made a 'told you so' face. Phoebe looked desperately from Elijah to Joaquin, back and forth and back and forth until finally...
"Where am I?" another familiar voice came from outside, and Phoebe and Tara turned to see Sean Astin (not Samwise) standing around looking confused. "Oh, hello Elijah! Where are we?"
And as Elijah Wood and Joaquin Phoenix jogged off to meet Sean Astin, chatting nervously about their new predicament, Tara and Phoebe stood looking at them ...stiff as stone, paler than.. something really white, and perhaps nauseous grey.
"What's on your shirt?" Sean asked Elijah, grinning.
"Ah, the girl over there spilled some coffee on me. She was cute. Said she had a spider crawling on her! Hope everything's okay. Man. Where ARE we?"
Joaquin laughed, anxiously lighting a cigarette. "What IS this place?"
The girls continued to stare.
Just then, Gandalf emerged from the House of the Prancing Ponies. He was walking along his merry way until he spotted the group of men near the other House. Suspiciously, the wizard approached them.
"Samwise? Frodo? and Master Commodus? Good gracious, where have you been? And why are you two taller? And why--"
"Oi! Ian! What kind of game is this?" laughed Sean. "Nice one."
"Yeah, seriously," said Elijah smirkingly, "it's not very funny. Pete put you up to this? What's going on?"
Gandalf paused to stare at them for quite a long time. He shifted his gaze to observe the two girls still standing, motionless and open-mouthed, in the doorway.
"Oh I see," he said softly. "The girls obviously haven't had a chance to explain something to you young gentlemen."
At that moment, everyone else came out of their respective Houses and started toward the newcomers, who didn't really look like newcomers.
Sean, Joaquin, and Elijah backed up against eachother, seeing lots of familiar faces with lots of people who seemed to recognize them... but for some reason, it didn't fit.
Pretty soon Ewan--the first real actor to come into all this--walked up to the group and introduced himself, and told them all how splendid he thought their performances were in whatever movie of theirs he'd seen.
"Thank you very much," said Elijah hesitantly, "but the real question is... what are all these people doing here?"
"Oh, that," said Ewan laughingly. And at that precise moment Obi-Wan and Christian arrived, standing on either side of Ewan. Elijah, Joaquin, and Sean stared with total blankess at the three Ewans. Satine also came strolling by, pausing to look from one disturbed face to another.
"I dare say," she said curiously, "you three have changed a lot since yesterday!"
"Nicole!" Joaquin smiled happily, racing to give her a hug. Satine was caught off-gaurd, but accepted it, looking incredibly flushed by the handsome man who so willingly pounced her.
"Well now you can call me anything you like, Monsieur...?"
Joaquin looked strangely at her.
"Uh, ahem, no, no Joaquin," said Ewan hurriedly, "that's not Nicole Kidman. No; see that's Satine."
Joaquin lifted a brow.
At that exact moment Daniel Radcliffe (not Harry Potter), Dominic Monagahn (not Merry), and Billy Boyd (not Pippin) strolled into the scene. Of course they all asked the same questions, made the same funky looks, and all that jazz.
The girls Phoebe and Tara stood in the doorway, staring dumbly.
"It's like this," began Ewan impatiently, taking matters into his own hands; the One Ring in his trousers obviously filling him with a new sense of power. And so, with great effort at answering ten million questions at once, he finally managed to get it through their heads all that had happened from Day One.
"A shame really," lamented Radcliffe. "I should have liked to've met my...self."
"Yeah," cackled Joaquin, running his fingers through his scraggly black hair and sharing another smoke with Ewan, "I'd love to meet Me."
It was clear that the actors weren't buying into this, but they played along for the mere sake of it. It was just a little too ironic that the real-life counterparts of Pippin, Merry, Frodo, Sam, Harry Potter, and Commodus should suddenly turn up when the characters themselves were missing.
"You haven't told us how -you- all got here," said Phoebe, backed by Tara. The two girls finally managed a grip on themselves and came out of the House to join the crowd. Phoebe glimsped Elijah's thoroughly stained shirt with a nervous gulp.
"Well, I received a strange letter," began Elijah.
"Hey, me too," said Sean mysteriously.
"And me!"
"And us."
And so forth.
"So you all got the same letter?" Phoebe and Tara exchanged awkward looks. "From whom?"
"Didn't say. It just said that we should come here for a Superb Actors Meeting, so we came." Elijah smiled pleasently toward Phoebe, who was still purple in the face.
"Strange. I wonder who sent the letter," mumbled Tara, voicing the more obvious questions and concerns of the situation, as usual.
Before anyone could say or do anything else, several more actors came in from all directions. There was Nicole Kidman, Liam Neeson, Ian McKellan, Viggo Mortenson, Orlando Bloom, Russell Crowe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, and John Leguizamo.
Tara and Phoebe almost shite themselves to death.
"Ewan!" they screeched fearfully. "We can't handle all these sexy beasts!"
Ewan just gave them a smile and motioned that they run off and hide while he take care of it. The girls were much obliged, leaving muddy foot tracks from peeling out and running into the nearest possible shelter. Immediately they whipped out their video cameras, tape recorders, digital everythings, and any other form of media on the premises. Record buttons were pressed, microphones adjusted, and positions taken as they spied on the Starfest spread out before them.
It was by far the strangest thing they'd ever seen, and that's saying a lot. Before anyone could voice their disturbances, Ewan whipped out his handy-dandy megaphone and announced what exactly was going on. Everyone was shocked at first, but soon they figured it was just some Hollywood trick at their expense.
The girls watched as Viggo Mortenson met Strider the Ranger, shaking hands and laughing it off. Ian McKellan approached Gandalf, laughing wholesomely and complimenting him on his "amazing likeness." Orlando Bloom went up to Legolas, and they stared lovingly into one another's eyes. Hermione and Ron clung to eachother in horror as Rupert and Emma approached them, squealing with excitement (Rupert bursted out with a mini-cam and snapped a shot of Ron, sheerly amused to see someone who looked just like him). Liam Neeson stared wordlessly at Qui-Gon for many moments before they both turned away from eachother, looking unnerved. Nicole went up to Satine and the courtesan screamed in shock; eventually they began examining each other's face suspiciously, neither bombshell quite believing what she saw.
Russell Crowe, however, just stood around by himself, as his relevant character, Maximus, was already gone. John Leguizamo and Jim Broadbent, who's characters Tolouse and Zidler ran off, also stood around blandly. John scratched himself boredly.
Phoebe and Tara seized the moment while everyone else was occupied and approached the Australian and two Moulin Rouge stars.
After shakey introductions, they eventually explained what had happened to Maximus, Zidler, and Toulouse. The three men just kind of nodded along, hardly believing a word that was said, but going with it anyway.
The girls could see Ewan getting everyone's autographs for them, and they shot him grateful looks, thinking up "special" ways with which to thank him later.
Finally the time came for them to friggin' leave before any more extreme weirdness ensued.
Ewan pulled out the megaphone again, coughed loudly to get everyone's attention and said, "Alright folks, it's been a pleasent evening, sorry for the mix-up and all. If you'll please go back home and pretend you never came here and saw yourselves, we'd be very much obliged. Thank you, and....ah...God bless."
A murmer passed over the crowd, followed by a wave of indifferent shrugs, and slowly they began to move out. Ewan stood between Phoebe and Tara as they watched everyone go away.
"Well," said Tara when John Leguizamo (last in line) finally disappeared from view, "that was... different."
"No kidding," said Phoebe, her eyes glazed over and facing the direction of the famous persons.
"Wait, who's that?" Ewan motioned toward a lone figure emerging from the opposite end of the trees.
"Gah! It's Tobey Maguire!" exclaimed Tara as the Spider-man actor approached them, looking adorably lost.
"Um, did I miss it?" he asked wearily. "It took me forever to get here." He paused and looked around. "Wait.. where am I?"
"You're in the wrong place," said Phoebe, pulling out a peice of paper and scrawling Chickie's address on it. "This is where you should be."
Tobey smiled gratefully. "Thank you!" He glanced at the note, which seemed to be directing him to Australia. "But--"
"Yes, we know," interrupted Tara (putting off her extreme randiness). "But that's where you should go, and make sure you ask for 'Chickie'."
Tobey smiled again, nodded, and pocketed the note. "Right. And.. eh.. Thanks again. Bye."
And finally, he too was off. The movie-folk of the Houses were looking disgruntled as they all retreated into one House, which happened to be the House of the Sparkling Dogs.
"That was odd," said Qui-Gon, still very perturbed. "He was... Me, only.. from this world. The strangest thing..."
"Indeed," said Gandalf thoughtfully. "That Ian chap is very fine, indeed. I should like to call him up for tea one day."
"I can't believe I look so great with blonde hair," said Satine, her eyes in tears. She was obviously referring to Nicole Kidman's cropped blonde look. "Amazing."
Legolas stood in the mirror, combing at his reflection with his fingers and sighing wistfully.
Aragorn looked nonchalant, as though nothing had happened. Ron and Hermione were still clinging to eachother, scared out of their wits.
"What a shitty spell! Not funny at all!" spat Hermione indignantly to no one... but if Phoebe should -happen- to hear she wouldn't have minded.
Alas, Phoebe did hear.
"It wasn't a spell," growled Phoebe. "It was someone's idea of a good time, apparently."
Tara was unnaturally quiet. "Pheeblebrox?"
"Yes?"
"Hermione said 'shit.'"
"I heard."
"Anyway.......... I wonder who would do such a thing?" said Tara after a while.
"Hmm.. maybe.. gah! Maybe it was the bad guys." A tiny light bulb shone above Phoebe's head. "Saruman, the Goblin, and Frank... Maybe they're all in on it. I mean, think about it.... Those actors never showed up."
"That's true!"
"I know it's true, that's why I said it! But I didn't see Willam Dafoe, or Christopher Lee, or Tim Curry."
"Tim Curry is cool."
"Yes, I know. But Dr. Frank is a bit nutters."
"Oh no!" gasped Tara. "It was probably some evil plan made up to royally confuse us all so that they could take over the world in the meantime!"
"Yes!"
"Pheeblebrox, what are we going to do?"
"I'll tell you what we're going to do..."
"What's that?"
"LEAVE THE PLANET."
SLAP.
"Pull yourself together, man!" yelled Phoebe. "Don't Panic. Haven't you learned anything!?"
Tara became quiet; sulking.
"So.. is.. anyone else going to die today?" Ron asked nervously.
"No Ron, not today," sighed Phoebe. "I'm tired. Bah. Let's go to bed and deal with this tomorrow."
As is usually the case with these strange procrastinating breeds of human, a little sleepy time helped everything. Everyone went back to their assorted Houses, dressed in their pj's (or buffness), and turned out the lights. Phoebe and Christian already had their beds pushed together to make one, but when Christian insisted that Ewan stay, Ewan lay on the other side of Phoebe. Needless to say, scantily clad in the arms of two versions of Mr. McGregor, Phoebe slept quite peacefully. (Wench.)
The next morning was drizzly and lazy. Nothing out of the ordinary (save for the already out-of-the-ordinary situation) seemed to be in progress. Sure, they were now missing Harry Potter, Commodus, Pippin, Merry, Frodo, and Sam on account of a letter the long-dead Maxmius wrote followed by brief visits from Prot and Snape. But besides that, everything was in order.
Or so they thought.......
Phoebe slid out from between the two gorgeous men with whom she crashed during the night, causing them to cling together in absence of her body's warmth. She paused to absorb the image, smiling goofily and inwardly dying with laughter at how jealous Tara would be to see the Ewan-on-Ewan beauty of it all.
She sauntered into the kitchen, clicking the "on" button of the coffee- maker; not that she necessarily drank coffee, but it seemed like an interesting morning-type thing to do. Besides, someone else might like coffee in the morning. Like Samwise, who always snuck out of his House to come for a cup.
'Aww, Samwise,' she thought. 'He's gone now. Sigh.'
When the coffee finished brewing, she took the pot carefully in her hands and slipped into her flip-flops with the intention of offering some to the other Houses. But when she opened the door, a spider slid across her foot. There were a number of reactions she may have had to this event, but she chose the one which caused her to jerk wildly--the coffee pot flew out of her hands and landed on someone who was already standing in the doorway. The pot shattered all over the ground, but luckily the stranger's shirt was kind enough to soak up most of the hot, steaming liquid.
"Man alive!" she gasped, swatting at her foot. "I thought we got rid of those little--" She paused, realizing the presence of someone else. She stood upright and tried to adjust her eyes to the sunlight, but she could barely focus on the figure in front of her.
"I'm really sorry about the coffee!" she said, exasperated. "A spider was coming at me, fangs unleashed! And I didn't see you. Sorry bout that! I have a spare shirt, if you need it..." She squinted, still trying to see who it was.
"That's alright," he said timidly, wringing out his sleeves. "I do need your help though. I... I think I'm lost."
"Er........." Phoebe stared, not quite sure she was seeing what she was seeing. "Frodo?" she murmered. "Frodo, s'that you? Back from Hogwarts? You... cut your hair, and.. grew taller.. and... you..."
"Oh no!" the man chuckled. "I'm not Frodo, although I did play him once in a movie. My name is Elijah.. I'm really sorry I came here so early, it's just--"
"I spilled coffee on Elijah Wood!" Phoebe whispered harshly. "You're.. Elijah WOOD? The REAL Elijah?" She felt faint.
"Um.. yes, that I'm aware of. And.. yes.. I am wearing steaming hot coffee. My perception is just fine, and yours, eheheh?"
Phoebe was very quiet for a very long time.
"Pheeblebrox!!!!!" Tara's voice snapped Phoebe back into reality, and sure enough Tara was herself running and yelling across the yard toward the House where Phoebe stood. Tara mindlessly shoved Elijah Wood as she panted into the doorway. "You have to come quick! You'll NEVER GUESS who's here!"
Phoebe coughed loudly, gesturing toward Elijah. Tara just blinked stupidly, glanced half-way at Elijah, and demanded Phoebe get a move on. "Come on, stop fooling around, you have to--"
"Hello," interrupted Elijah, startling Tara out of her pasty skin. "My name is Elijah. I think I'm lost."
Tara just stared directly at him and said without turning away, "Pheeblebrox.... I think.. we have a problem."
At that moment, a man by the name of Joaquin Phoenix (not Commodus) strolled into the door. "Um, excuse me?" he said, addressing Tara. "Sorry to interrupt. Yeah.. there's someone else here, and I think--"
"OH MY SWEET LORD!" Phoebe came near-death at the sight of the mesmerizing Phoenix while Tara made a 'told you so' face. Phoebe looked desperately from Elijah to Joaquin, back and forth and back and forth until finally...
"Where am I?" another familiar voice came from outside, and Phoebe and Tara turned to see Sean Astin (not Samwise) standing around looking confused. "Oh, hello Elijah! Where are we?"
And as Elijah Wood and Joaquin Phoenix jogged off to meet Sean Astin, chatting nervously about their new predicament, Tara and Phoebe stood looking at them ...stiff as stone, paler than.. something really white, and perhaps nauseous grey.
"What's on your shirt?" Sean asked Elijah, grinning.
"Ah, the girl over there spilled some coffee on me. She was cute. Said she had a spider crawling on her! Hope everything's okay. Man. Where ARE we?"
Joaquin laughed, anxiously lighting a cigarette. "What IS this place?"
The girls continued to stare.
Just then, Gandalf emerged from the House of the Prancing Ponies. He was walking along his merry way until he spotted the group of men near the other House. Suspiciously, the wizard approached them.
"Samwise? Frodo? and Master Commodus? Good gracious, where have you been? And why are you two taller? And why--"
"Oi! Ian! What kind of game is this?" laughed Sean. "Nice one."
"Yeah, seriously," said Elijah smirkingly, "it's not very funny. Pete put you up to this? What's going on?"
Gandalf paused to stare at them for quite a long time. He shifted his gaze to observe the two girls still standing, motionless and open-mouthed, in the doorway.
"Oh I see," he said softly. "The girls obviously haven't had a chance to explain something to you young gentlemen."
At that moment, everyone else came out of their respective Houses and started toward the newcomers, who didn't really look like newcomers.
Sean, Joaquin, and Elijah backed up against eachother, seeing lots of familiar faces with lots of people who seemed to recognize them... but for some reason, it didn't fit.
Pretty soon Ewan--the first real actor to come into all this--walked up to the group and introduced himself, and told them all how splendid he thought their performances were in whatever movie of theirs he'd seen.
"Thank you very much," said Elijah hesitantly, "but the real question is... what are all these people doing here?"
"Oh, that," said Ewan laughingly. And at that precise moment Obi-Wan and Christian arrived, standing on either side of Ewan. Elijah, Joaquin, and Sean stared with total blankess at the three Ewans. Satine also came strolling by, pausing to look from one disturbed face to another.
"I dare say," she said curiously, "you three have changed a lot since yesterday!"
"Nicole!" Joaquin smiled happily, racing to give her a hug. Satine was caught off-gaurd, but accepted it, looking incredibly flushed by the handsome man who so willingly pounced her.
"Well now you can call me anything you like, Monsieur...?"
Joaquin looked strangely at her.
"Uh, ahem, no, no Joaquin," said Ewan hurriedly, "that's not Nicole Kidman. No; see that's Satine."
Joaquin lifted a brow.
At that exact moment Daniel Radcliffe (not Harry Potter), Dominic Monagahn (not Merry), and Billy Boyd (not Pippin) strolled into the scene. Of course they all asked the same questions, made the same funky looks, and all that jazz.
The girls Phoebe and Tara stood in the doorway, staring dumbly.
"It's like this," began Ewan impatiently, taking matters into his own hands; the One Ring in his trousers obviously filling him with a new sense of power. And so, with great effort at answering ten million questions at once, he finally managed to get it through their heads all that had happened from Day One.
"A shame really," lamented Radcliffe. "I should have liked to've met my...self."
"Yeah," cackled Joaquin, running his fingers through his scraggly black hair and sharing another smoke with Ewan, "I'd love to meet Me."
It was clear that the actors weren't buying into this, but they played along for the mere sake of it. It was just a little too ironic that the real-life counterparts of Pippin, Merry, Frodo, Sam, Harry Potter, and Commodus should suddenly turn up when the characters themselves were missing.
"You haven't told us how -you- all got here," said Phoebe, backed by Tara. The two girls finally managed a grip on themselves and came out of the House to join the crowd. Phoebe glimsped Elijah's thoroughly stained shirt with a nervous gulp.
"Well, I received a strange letter," began Elijah.
"Hey, me too," said Sean mysteriously.
"And me!"
"And us."
And so forth.
"So you all got the same letter?" Phoebe and Tara exchanged awkward looks. "From whom?"
"Didn't say. It just said that we should come here for a Superb Actors Meeting, so we came." Elijah smiled pleasently toward Phoebe, who was still purple in the face.
"Strange. I wonder who sent the letter," mumbled Tara, voicing the more obvious questions and concerns of the situation, as usual.
Before anyone could say or do anything else, several more actors came in from all directions. There was Nicole Kidman, Liam Neeson, Ian McKellan, Viggo Mortenson, Orlando Bloom, Russell Crowe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, and John Leguizamo.
Tara and Phoebe almost shite themselves to death.
"Ewan!" they screeched fearfully. "We can't handle all these sexy beasts!"
Ewan just gave them a smile and motioned that they run off and hide while he take care of it. The girls were much obliged, leaving muddy foot tracks from peeling out and running into the nearest possible shelter. Immediately they whipped out their video cameras, tape recorders, digital everythings, and any other form of media on the premises. Record buttons were pressed, microphones adjusted, and positions taken as they spied on the Starfest spread out before them.
It was by far the strangest thing they'd ever seen, and that's saying a lot. Before anyone could voice their disturbances, Ewan whipped out his handy-dandy megaphone and announced what exactly was going on. Everyone was shocked at first, but soon they figured it was just some Hollywood trick at their expense.
The girls watched as Viggo Mortenson met Strider the Ranger, shaking hands and laughing it off. Ian McKellan approached Gandalf, laughing wholesomely and complimenting him on his "amazing likeness." Orlando Bloom went up to Legolas, and they stared lovingly into one another's eyes. Hermione and Ron clung to eachother in horror as Rupert and Emma approached them, squealing with excitement (Rupert bursted out with a mini-cam and snapped a shot of Ron, sheerly amused to see someone who looked just like him). Liam Neeson stared wordlessly at Qui-Gon for many moments before they both turned away from eachother, looking unnerved. Nicole went up to Satine and the courtesan screamed in shock; eventually they began examining each other's face suspiciously, neither bombshell quite believing what she saw.
Russell Crowe, however, just stood around by himself, as his relevant character, Maximus, was already gone. John Leguizamo and Jim Broadbent, who's characters Tolouse and Zidler ran off, also stood around blandly. John scratched himself boredly.
Phoebe and Tara seized the moment while everyone else was occupied and approached the Australian and two Moulin Rouge stars.
After shakey introductions, they eventually explained what had happened to Maximus, Zidler, and Toulouse. The three men just kind of nodded along, hardly believing a word that was said, but going with it anyway.
The girls could see Ewan getting everyone's autographs for them, and they shot him grateful looks, thinking up "special" ways with which to thank him later.
Finally the time came for them to friggin' leave before any more extreme weirdness ensued.
Ewan pulled out the megaphone again, coughed loudly to get everyone's attention and said, "Alright folks, it's been a pleasent evening, sorry for the mix-up and all. If you'll please go back home and pretend you never came here and saw yourselves, we'd be very much obliged. Thank you, and....ah...God bless."
A murmer passed over the crowd, followed by a wave of indifferent shrugs, and slowly they began to move out. Ewan stood between Phoebe and Tara as they watched everyone go away.
"Well," said Tara when John Leguizamo (last in line) finally disappeared from view, "that was... different."
"No kidding," said Phoebe, her eyes glazed over and facing the direction of the famous persons.
"Wait, who's that?" Ewan motioned toward a lone figure emerging from the opposite end of the trees.
"Gah! It's Tobey Maguire!" exclaimed Tara as the Spider-man actor approached them, looking adorably lost.
"Um, did I miss it?" he asked wearily. "It took me forever to get here." He paused and looked around. "Wait.. where am I?"
"You're in the wrong place," said Phoebe, pulling out a peice of paper and scrawling Chickie's address on it. "This is where you should be."
Tobey smiled gratefully. "Thank you!" He glanced at the note, which seemed to be directing him to Australia. "But--"
"Yes, we know," interrupted Tara (putting off her extreme randiness). "But that's where you should go, and make sure you ask for 'Chickie'."
Tobey smiled again, nodded, and pocketed the note. "Right. And.. eh.. Thanks again. Bye."
And finally, he too was off. The movie-folk of the Houses were looking disgruntled as they all retreated into one House, which happened to be the House of the Sparkling Dogs.
"That was odd," said Qui-Gon, still very perturbed. "He was... Me, only.. from this world. The strangest thing..."
"Indeed," said Gandalf thoughtfully. "That Ian chap is very fine, indeed. I should like to call him up for tea one day."
"I can't believe I look so great with blonde hair," said Satine, her eyes in tears. She was obviously referring to Nicole Kidman's cropped blonde look. "Amazing."
Legolas stood in the mirror, combing at his reflection with his fingers and sighing wistfully.
Aragorn looked nonchalant, as though nothing had happened. Ron and Hermione were still clinging to eachother, scared out of their wits.
"What a shitty spell! Not funny at all!" spat Hermione indignantly to no one... but if Phoebe should -happen- to hear she wouldn't have minded.
Alas, Phoebe did hear.
"It wasn't a spell," growled Phoebe. "It was someone's idea of a good time, apparently."
Tara was unnaturally quiet. "Pheeblebrox?"
"Yes?"
"Hermione said 'shit.'"
"I heard."
"Anyway.......... I wonder who would do such a thing?" said Tara after a while.
"Hmm.. maybe.. gah! Maybe it was the bad guys." A tiny light bulb shone above Phoebe's head. "Saruman, the Goblin, and Frank... Maybe they're all in on it. I mean, think about it.... Those actors never showed up."
"That's true!"
"I know it's true, that's why I said it! But I didn't see Willam Dafoe, or Christopher Lee, or Tim Curry."
"Tim Curry is cool."
"Yes, I know. But Dr. Frank is a bit nutters."
"Oh no!" gasped Tara. "It was probably some evil plan made up to royally confuse us all so that they could take over the world in the meantime!"
"Yes!"
"Pheeblebrox, what are we going to do?"
"I'll tell you what we're going to do..."
"What's that?"
"LEAVE THE PLANET."