"Oh? Just leave the planet? Is that all?" Tara's eyes crossed in a fierce glare.
"Today we pack. Let's get goin'!" said Phoebe finally (decidedly ignoring Tara the worry-wart), and everyone scattered to take care of business. Of course, when she said 'we pack' she meant only herself, Tara and select few.. and not, in fact, everyone there. At any rate, she wasn't going to worry about that until later.
That night, as Phoebe slinked into bed by herself (her partners Ewan and Christian were busy packing) she felt something weird brush against her back. Nervous as all hell, she slowly sat up and twisted around, noticing an unnatural lump in the blankets. With a final gulp, she raised a mighty fist and swung it hard on said lump.
"YEEEEYOOOOWWWW!!!!" it screamed furiously, the blankets flying in the air and Elijah Wood flying up.
"GAH!! Elijah!"
"Yes," he said breathlessly gripping his poor, harrassed side.... still wearing the coffee-stained shirt.
"What are you doing here?!?"
"Well if you're leaving the planet because it is going to be destroyed, I'm most certainly *not* staying here," he said simply, rubbing his belly. "I knew something was up, and I wasn't about to get left behind, buddy." He sat back, wincing.
"I'm SO sorry about that!" she said, thwacking her forehead in a 'damnit, I did it again' sort of way.
"No it's okay," he said humbly and shot her a groovy smile.
"Can. I. Getyouanything?" she said..still surprised and excited and whacked.
"Um, now that you mention it.. I could use a new shirt. This one's getting sticky."
"Right you are!" she said spastically, and jumped out of the bed to peruse the nearest dresser. She eventually found a nice, comfy t-shirt with a picture of a human raisin sitting on a lawn chair with an umbrella over it's head that read 'Life's a Beach.'
Phoebe hopped on the bed and tossed it to Elijah, who was in the middle of taking his ruined shirt off when Christian walked in.
"I don't believe it!" he gasped at the sight of Phoebe lying in bed while Elijah stood nearby undressing.
"Oh Christian, it's not what you think!" said Phoebe in a calm attempt not to laugh at how often this actually happened. "This is Elijah; he's staying."
"Oh is he now?" said Christian skeptically, watching Elijah put on the clean shirt. "Ey. That's MY shirt!"
"Thanks for letting me borrow," said Elijah kindly, smoothening out the wrinkles.
Christian just shifted in place and shot Phoebe an anxious look.
"Aw come here," she said lovingly, giving him a big juicy hug and playful pinches in ...playful places. He was like putty in her hands. And vice versa.
Just then Tara stalked in, still looking bent-out-of-shape. Phoebe choked upon seeing the large antennae-hat Tara had on her head fashioned with foil.
"I am NOT going to die today!" Tara spouted triumphantly.
"And neither are we!" followed the voices and persons of Obi-Wan, Ewan, Ron, and Strider who all had similar hats.
"What are you doing?!" Phoebe said behind hysterical giggles.
"I don't know how you expect to be 'leaving the planet'," said Tara somewhat bitterly, "but I'm just being prepared for anything. Right, guys?"
"Right!"
Phoebe rolled her eyes... sharing a smirk with Elijah, who had also seen the movie "Signs."
"Oh crapola... Come on," said Phoebe defeatedly. "Let's go, we have an announcement to make."
And so the remaining characters gathered in the main room. That's Qui-Gon, Gandalf, Satine, Obi-Wan, Strider, Legolas, Ron, Hermione, Christian, Ewan, Elijah, and of course Phoebe and Tara.
"Okay, first I have to say that Mr. Elijah Wood will be staying with us, so I expect that he'll be treated properly," said Phoebe sternly, making Elijah squirm with shyness at everyone looking at him.
"Secondly," picked up Tara, "we've decided that some of you are going to be sent back to your natural worlds.. It's the best thing, really. "
The characters all pitched individual fits and some began to complain loudly. Of course... that was just Obi-Wan and Christian.
"And we can always visit you whenever we like!"
The guys considered this, and nodded agreeably. Of course it was obvious that Christian and Obi-Wan weren't going anywhere, duh.
"Now um.. here comes the awkward part. As has already been established... in order to return to your worlds, you have to...erm... die."
Everyone drew back in shock and fear.
"And I suppose you're going to do it?" said Gandalf, threateningly.
"Oh chill Gandy, there's no reason to get angry," said Phoebe calmly.
"Well if I'm angry it's your fault!"
"Uh.. no it's not. Just listen. We're not going to kill any of you!"
"Then how are we supposed to die??" urged Satine, in a high-pitched frantic voice.
"Uh..... haven't got that figured out just yet, heh," said Phoebe, her voice cracking.
"Hey, where's Legolas?" asked Strider, peering at the empty spot next to him. "He was just here..."
But all ideas Pheeblebrox and Teafect may have had about leaving the planet were quickly snuffed out of existence. At that moment, Legolas the Deranged Elf pounced out from behind a sofa with his bow completely armed with REAL elf-arrows. Everyone dove out of their seats and shrunk together as one in front of the twinkly-eyed elf.
"I'm sick of this!" he howled, waving the loaded weapon around menacingly. "It's time to go home! I've had enough. ENOUGH!!"
Before anything could be done to prevent it, Legolas shot Satine straight through the head. She died instantly, and instantly disappeared back into her movie, Moulin Rouge. The elf shouted with glee at his work, and loaded a new arrow.. looking around excitedly for someone else to shuffle loose their mortal coil.
Naturally, the crowd parted in fifty different ways, and Legolas was having a hard time deciding who to shoot next. Bouncing wildly from couch, to table, to loveseat, to windowsill like a mouse on crack, he finally decided to shoot Gandalf. The arrow went through one of the wizard's ears, and out the other. He died and disappeared back into Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
Sreeching and mad howling ensued, everyone scared out of their skulls as the Elf laughed and danced around bootyliciously.
"Say, what was it you told me about elf-archers the other day?" a terrified Ron asked Phoebe, both dashing madly from one place to another in a crouched position to avoid being hit.
"Oh, I just said that Elf hunters never miss a target," she said breathlessly, a flying vase just missing her head. "HEY!" she screamed violently. "If you kill *us* we DO NOT go into a movie-- WE DIE! So stop shooting at me!!"
"AND ME!" shrieked Tara, swan-diving over and behind the couch.
"Me too!" croaked Elijah, who was flopping around on his back trying to make himself a hard target to hit.
"And me!" joined Ewan, trying to curl up under the coffee table at the center of the room.
Legolas seemed not to hear them, however, as he let an arrow fly right past Phoebe's ear.. only it missed her and hit Qui-Gon, who disappeared into Star Wars: The Phantom Menance when he died. Obi-Wan cried out at the loss of his master, but soon forgot his grief as an arrow flew right past his rear-end and hit Hermione in the back.
Ron screamed in shock as his friend hit the floor and magically disappeared back into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. "There's getting to be less and less of us," he cried, crawling on his belly into a corner.
At that moment, Legolas looked positioned to shoot Phoebe (possibly because she was flipping him off).. and so Ron dove in front of her in a knightly way; Phoebe had Christian already latched onto her ankles, with Elijah groping madly at Christian's legs. (In full, they were all connected by touching eachother.)
Before another word could be uttered (or fearfully screamed) an arrow found it's way through Ron's chest and in a blurred fit of terrorized screams, all four of them disappeared into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone; or, more precisely, Hogwarts School of Wizardry.
Tara, in a heat of insane fear, threw herself behind Strider and clung to his robe like pocket lint. Obi-Wan squeaked wildly before latching onto Tara's legs; and Ewan himself wound his body around Obi-Wan and waited for The End to come.
Of course Legolas hadn't planned on sparing anybody, and as all choices but one were pancaked behind Strider, he simply shot the ranger straight through the heart. All four of them disappeared at the same time into the movie Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring; or, more precisely, Middle-earth.
Legolas was alone at last and screaming triumphantly, thinking proudly that he solved all the world's problems. Happy as ever, he finally shot himself and hitherto re-appeared into the Lord of the Rings movie where he belongs.
((Also, this is THE END of the story! However, the Sequel is coming soon. I'm going to merge my story with a friend's; you can find her story here: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1034037 . Thanks for reading and sit tight.... or loose.. or whatever.))
"Today we pack. Let's get goin'!" said Phoebe finally (decidedly ignoring Tara the worry-wart), and everyone scattered to take care of business. Of course, when she said 'we pack' she meant only herself, Tara and select few.. and not, in fact, everyone there. At any rate, she wasn't going to worry about that until later.
That night, as Phoebe slinked into bed by herself (her partners Ewan and Christian were busy packing) she felt something weird brush against her back. Nervous as all hell, she slowly sat up and twisted around, noticing an unnatural lump in the blankets. With a final gulp, she raised a mighty fist and swung it hard on said lump.
"YEEEEYOOOOWWWW!!!!" it screamed furiously, the blankets flying in the air and Elijah Wood flying up.
"GAH!! Elijah!"
"Yes," he said breathlessly gripping his poor, harrassed side.... still wearing the coffee-stained shirt.
"What are you doing here?!?"
"Well if you're leaving the planet because it is going to be destroyed, I'm most certainly *not* staying here," he said simply, rubbing his belly. "I knew something was up, and I wasn't about to get left behind, buddy." He sat back, wincing.
"I'm SO sorry about that!" she said, thwacking her forehead in a 'damnit, I did it again' sort of way.
"No it's okay," he said humbly and shot her a groovy smile.
"Can. I. Getyouanything?" she said..still surprised and excited and whacked.
"Um, now that you mention it.. I could use a new shirt. This one's getting sticky."
"Right you are!" she said spastically, and jumped out of the bed to peruse the nearest dresser. She eventually found a nice, comfy t-shirt with a picture of a human raisin sitting on a lawn chair with an umbrella over it's head that read 'Life's a Beach.'
Phoebe hopped on the bed and tossed it to Elijah, who was in the middle of taking his ruined shirt off when Christian walked in.
"I don't believe it!" he gasped at the sight of Phoebe lying in bed while Elijah stood nearby undressing.
"Oh Christian, it's not what you think!" said Phoebe in a calm attempt not to laugh at how often this actually happened. "This is Elijah; he's staying."
"Oh is he now?" said Christian skeptically, watching Elijah put on the clean shirt. "Ey. That's MY shirt!"
"Thanks for letting me borrow," said Elijah kindly, smoothening out the wrinkles.
Christian just shifted in place and shot Phoebe an anxious look.
"Aw come here," she said lovingly, giving him a big juicy hug and playful pinches in ...playful places. He was like putty in her hands. And vice versa.
Just then Tara stalked in, still looking bent-out-of-shape. Phoebe choked upon seeing the large antennae-hat Tara had on her head fashioned with foil.
"I am NOT going to die today!" Tara spouted triumphantly.
"And neither are we!" followed the voices and persons of Obi-Wan, Ewan, Ron, and Strider who all had similar hats.
"What are you doing?!" Phoebe said behind hysterical giggles.
"I don't know how you expect to be 'leaving the planet'," said Tara somewhat bitterly, "but I'm just being prepared for anything. Right, guys?"
"Right!"
Phoebe rolled her eyes... sharing a smirk with Elijah, who had also seen the movie "Signs."
"Oh crapola... Come on," said Phoebe defeatedly. "Let's go, we have an announcement to make."
And so the remaining characters gathered in the main room. That's Qui-Gon, Gandalf, Satine, Obi-Wan, Strider, Legolas, Ron, Hermione, Christian, Ewan, Elijah, and of course Phoebe and Tara.
"Okay, first I have to say that Mr. Elijah Wood will be staying with us, so I expect that he'll be treated properly," said Phoebe sternly, making Elijah squirm with shyness at everyone looking at him.
"Secondly," picked up Tara, "we've decided that some of you are going to be sent back to your natural worlds.. It's the best thing, really. "
The characters all pitched individual fits and some began to complain loudly. Of course... that was just Obi-Wan and Christian.
"And we can always visit you whenever we like!"
The guys considered this, and nodded agreeably. Of course it was obvious that Christian and Obi-Wan weren't going anywhere, duh.
"Now um.. here comes the awkward part. As has already been established... in order to return to your worlds, you have to...erm... die."
Everyone drew back in shock and fear.
"And I suppose you're going to do it?" said Gandalf, threateningly.
"Oh chill Gandy, there's no reason to get angry," said Phoebe calmly.
"Well if I'm angry it's your fault!"
"Uh.. no it's not. Just listen. We're not going to kill any of you!"
"Then how are we supposed to die??" urged Satine, in a high-pitched frantic voice.
"Uh..... haven't got that figured out just yet, heh," said Phoebe, her voice cracking.
"Hey, where's Legolas?" asked Strider, peering at the empty spot next to him. "He was just here..."
But all ideas Pheeblebrox and Teafect may have had about leaving the planet were quickly snuffed out of existence. At that moment, Legolas the Deranged Elf pounced out from behind a sofa with his bow completely armed with REAL elf-arrows. Everyone dove out of their seats and shrunk together as one in front of the twinkly-eyed elf.
"I'm sick of this!" he howled, waving the loaded weapon around menacingly. "It's time to go home! I've had enough. ENOUGH!!"
Before anything could be done to prevent it, Legolas shot Satine straight through the head. She died instantly, and instantly disappeared back into her movie, Moulin Rouge. The elf shouted with glee at his work, and loaded a new arrow.. looking around excitedly for someone else to shuffle loose their mortal coil.
Naturally, the crowd parted in fifty different ways, and Legolas was having a hard time deciding who to shoot next. Bouncing wildly from couch, to table, to loveseat, to windowsill like a mouse on crack, he finally decided to shoot Gandalf. The arrow went through one of the wizard's ears, and out the other. He died and disappeared back into Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
Sreeching and mad howling ensued, everyone scared out of their skulls as the Elf laughed and danced around bootyliciously.
"Say, what was it you told me about elf-archers the other day?" a terrified Ron asked Phoebe, both dashing madly from one place to another in a crouched position to avoid being hit.
"Oh, I just said that Elf hunters never miss a target," she said breathlessly, a flying vase just missing her head. "HEY!" she screamed violently. "If you kill *us* we DO NOT go into a movie-- WE DIE! So stop shooting at me!!"
"AND ME!" shrieked Tara, swan-diving over and behind the couch.
"Me too!" croaked Elijah, who was flopping around on his back trying to make himself a hard target to hit.
"And me!" joined Ewan, trying to curl up under the coffee table at the center of the room.
Legolas seemed not to hear them, however, as he let an arrow fly right past Phoebe's ear.. only it missed her and hit Qui-Gon, who disappeared into Star Wars: The Phantom Menance when he died. Obi-Wan cried out at the loss of his master, but soon forgot his grief as an arrow flew right past his rear-end and hit Hermione in the back.
Ron screamed in shock as his friend hit the floor and magically disappeared back into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. "There's getting to be less and less of us," he cried, crawling on his belly into a corner.
At that moment, Legolas looked positioned to shoot Phoebe (possibly because she was flipping him off).. and so Ron dove in front of her in a knightly way; Phoebe had Christian already latched onto her ankles, with Elijah groping madly at Christian's legs. (In full, they were all connected by touching eachother.)
Before another word could be uttered (or fearfully screamed) an arrow found it's way through Ron's chest and in a blurred fit of terrorized screams, all four of them disappeared into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone; or, more precisely, Hogwarts School of Wizardry.
Tara, in a heat of insane fear, threw herself behind Strider and clung to his robe like pocket lint. Obi-Wan squeaked wildly before latching onto Tara's legs; and Ewan himself wound his body around Obi-Wan and waited for The End to come.
Of course Legolas hadn't planned on sparing anybody, and as all choices but one were pancaked behind Strider, he simply shot the ranger straight through the heart. All four of them disappeared at the same time into the movie Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring; or, more precisely, Middle-earth.
Legolas was alone at last and screaming triumphantly, thinking proudly that he solved all the world's problems. Happy as ever, he finally shot himself and hitherto re-appeared into the Lord of the Rings movie where he belongs.
((Also, this is THE END of the story! However, the Sequel is coming soon. I'm going to merge my story with a friend's; you can find her story here: http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1034037 . Thanks for reading and sit tight.... or loose.. or whatever.))