Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, I only own the poem.
Jornal Entry #45
October 25, 2002
They close their eyes and look away
Oblivious to my pain
I wear a mask to hide the pain
I do this oh so well
I'll never let them see the tears
I shed when their backs are turned
A small smile an everything is well
I've fooled them once again
I am an actress in the play called my life
Each day is a new and hurtful scene
How much longer can I go on like this
Just how many more smiles can I fake
My thoughts drive me to the brink of insanity
Memories push me into that void
Running, screaming, turning about in the darkness
My mind is a tortured mess
Everything I've ever craved in my life
I've forever been denied
A gentle touch, a loving family
Friends to lean on, someone to love
Is everything I've wanted just too much to ask for
Or something all together out of my reach
I find new ways to handle this aboination
It's apparent from the scars littering my body
I don't know how much longer I can go on this way
I wish it would all just go away
I want to let it all go
I'm so afraid though
So I live my life from day to day
Wallowing in this pain
There it is! How I feel summed up in one long poem. I can't even remember a time I didn't feel this way, a time when I was completely free from the treacherous void in my soul. I soppose those feelings will always be with me, they are after all what I am.
Each day I try to move on, but I can't. I thought that by running away from the life I once knew would bring better fortune in my life, but it hasn't. I find that no matter where I go, all I find is more heartache. I don't know how much more I can take. I can't run away again, where would I go? No, I'm through with running, I'm through with it all!
I hope next entry will be a bit up-lifting, though I'm sure it won't be.
So, until next time,
Rogue
Jornal Entry #45
October 25, 2002
They close their eyes and look away
Oblivious to my pain
I wear a mask to hide the pain
I do this oh so well
I'll never let them see the tears
I shed when their backs are turned
A small smile an everything is well
I've fooled them once again
I am an actress in the play called my life
Each day is a new and hurtful scene
How much longer can I go on like this
Just how many more smiles can I fake
My thoughts drive me to the brink of insanity
Memories push me into that void
Running, screaming, turning about in the darkness
My mind is a tortured mess
Everything I've ever craved in my life
I've forever been denied
A gentle touch, a loving family
Friends to lean on, someone to love
Is everything I've wanted just too much to ask for
Or something all together out of my reach
I find new ways to handle this aboination
It's apparent from the scars littering my body
I don't know how much longer I can go on this way
I wish it would all just go away
I want to let it all go
I'm so afraid though
So I live my life from day to day
Wallowing in this pain
There it is! How I feel summed up in one long poem. I can't even remember a time I didn't feel this way, a time when I was completely free from the treacherous void in my soul. I soppose those feelings will always be with me, they are after all what I am.
Each day I try to move on, but I can't. I thought that by running away from the life I once knew would bring better fortune in my life, but it hasn't. I find that no matter where I go, all I find is more heartache. I don't know how much more I can take. I can't run away again, where would I go? No, I'm through with running, I'm through with it all!
I hope next entry will be a bit up-lifting, though I'm sure it won't be.
So, until next time,
Rogue