AN: Hello! I'm back! I went on a trip to ND last week and so I was able to write this during the drive (most of it anyway, the rest I finished up last night). And I also have some good news. I got some time to work on my next LOTR humor story What the Nazgul Do on Their Day Off. It's about 2/3 done so it should be up by the end of the month. Please R&R ~ Takeshi
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE LOTR CHARACTERS!
The Camping Trip (Day Eight) by: Takeshi
The next morning the group sat around the campfire staring blankly into the flames. Legolas had a stick and was pushing burnt logs with it causing sparks and ash to fly everywhere..
"Can I have an ice cream cone?" he asked.
"I most certainly hope you can," Gandalf replied, "otherwise I'd be worried."
Boromir smirked, "It's all a question of whether or not you MAY have one." Legolas stared at them blankly.
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"
"Only if you ask me properly," Gandalf replied. Legolas blinked, turned, and looked at Boromir.
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"
"Only if you ask me..."
"Good God!," Aragorn yelled, "just give him the damn ice cream cone!"
"I would," Boromir said, "but I don't have any."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!" Legolas screamed. He stood up and threw the flaming stick straight at Boromir's head, a deadly shot. And missed completely.
"Somebody needs a nap," Sam said.
"NO NAPPP!"
"Aragorn nodded in agreement, "Yes, he does."
"NO NAPPPP!"
"I don't think he wants a nap," Arwen stated.
"NO NAAPPPPP!"
"Legolas do you want a nap?" Pippin asked looking up at the rampaging elf.
"NO NAAAPPPPPPP!!"
Merry shrugged, "I guess he doesn't want a nap."
"NOO NAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!"
"Too bad, 'cause he's gonna take one anyway." As soon as Boromir said this both he and Aragorn grabbed the elf by the arms and dragged him toward Arwen's tent.
"Lemme go!" Legolas kicked his legs. "I'm not going to take a nap! You can't make me!" The two men threw Legolas into Arwen's tent and locked the door. Aragorn looked at Legolas through the plastic window on the door.
"And you can't come out 'til you take your nap."
While Legolas sat in the tent and pouted the rest of the group went swimming in the river again.
After swimming they sat around the campfire and discussed social status and it's effect on career opportunities.
"Think being a king is the easiest job," Sam said, "You have all the money you want plus you don't have to do much, just order people around."
"Being king isn't all glamour," Boromir pointed out. "You have to make decisions that mean either life or death for your people. Isn't that right Aragorn?"
Aragorn, who hadn't really been paying attention to Boromir's dribble, jumped at hearing his name. "Well, in my personal experience as king I have found that there are only two phrases you need to know."
"What's that then?" Sam asked.
"'That's a brilliant idea, I'm glad I thought of it,' and 'Guards seize him!'"
"You can't run a country on just that," Boromir interjected. "You've got to have principles and some form of order."
"Aragorn shrugged, "Look where principles and order got you."
"Yeah," Pippin chimed in, "you're dead."
"Think as you like Boromir," Aragorn continued, "I think I... Why are you all staring at me?" Without blinking Frodo lifted a finger and pointed behind Aragorn.
There was Legolas, his face pressed against the plastic window of Arwen's tent. The elven prince puffed up his cheeks and blew onto the window making himself look like a fish. o_O went Aragorn (Can't think of a better way to describe it).
"I think Legolas is done with his nap," Frodo said.
Did he even take a nap?" Arwen asked.
"I'm putting my money on 'no,'" Gandalf said.
Aragorn unzipped the tent and Legolas bolted out.
"Look out I gotta pee!" Legolas zoomed off into the woods. Moments later he returned, a look of content on his face.
It was late in the afternoon and Sam sat under a tree munching on a turkey sandwich. Suddenly, a thin slice of ham fell out of the sky and landed on his face.
"MINNNEEE!" Sam looked up and saw Legolas charging at him. The crazed elf tackled the poor defense-less hobbit and began gnawing on the ham as well as Sam's face.
Sam sat there dumbfounded. He pulled the ham off his face, Legolas followed still chewing. Sam threw the ham (hey that rhymes) into the woods and Legolas dashed after it. The hobbit watched him sprint into the trees.
"There's somethin' ya don't see everyday," he said the continued eating his sandwich.
The sun had set and the Company (and Arwen) were sitting around the fire doing nothing in particular. Legolas had the flashlight again, Aragorn was rubbing Arwen's feet, Arwen was knitting, Boromir was staring at Gimli and, unbeknownst to him, drooling. Gimli was staring at Boromir drooling, Gandalf was trying to get his staff to stay standing up, and the four hobbits were all gathered around applying Just for Hobbits gel to Frodo's feet.
Gandalf popped at sunflower seed into his mouth.
"Ten bucks says I can hit the sauna," he said.
Aragorn looked at him, "Gandalf, I didn't know you were a gambling man."
Gandalf smirked, "I'm not."
"Oh," Aragorn said, "Well, in that case, I'll take that bet."
"I second the motion!" Legolas shouted, everyone looked at him.
"Legolas," Aragorn said, "you don't second bets."
Legolas looked confused," I thought we were voting on who we're gonna eat first."
"My dear elf," Gandalf said, "We have food. There's no need to eat anybody. And besides you wouldn't want to eat me. I'd be tough and stringy and probably spoiled."
"We don't have any food!" Legolas pointed to Gimli, "That PIG ate it all."
"But," Merry interrupted, "There was a nice man down at the river who gave us lots and lots of food."
"When?" Legolas asked,
While you were taking a nap."
Legolas's eye twitched, "YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID!!!" The other nine blinked. "Stoo-pid." Legolas pointed to them, "You are stupid," he pointed to himself, "I am smart S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T."
Someone snickered, and as to this day no one knows or can agree on who it was but that doesn't matter because it soon erupted into hysterical laughter. Legolas's face turned red with rage.
"I'M GOING TO BED!" he bellowed and stomped into the tent but not before he stumbled over the lawn chair and fell on his face, resulting in more laughter.
to be continued....
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Well, now for the bad news. I'm going to put this story aside for a little while so I can work on my other fics. I know you guys love this but I keep putting off working on the others to work on this one. At that rate they'll never get done. And this fic is sort of never ending (although I do have a good ending in mind for when I get sick of it, but mind you that won't be any time soon). So this one's gonna be on hold just for a little while, two months tops. I want to get a few of those others done, some of 'em are really close. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I drew a lovely picture for this chapter check it out @ www.angelfire.com/art2/takeshi Please review ~ Takeshi
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE LOTR CHARACTERS!
The Camping Trip (Day Eight) by: Takeshi
The next morning the group sat around the campfire staring blankly into the flames. Legolas had a stick and was pushing burnt logs with it causing sparks and ash to fly everywhere..
"Can I have an ice cream cone?" he asked.
"I most certainly hope you can," Gandalf replied, "otherwise I'd be worried."
Boromir smirked, "It's all a question of whether or not you MAY have one." Legolas stared at them blankly.
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"
"Only if you ask me properly," Gandalf replied. Legolas blinked, turned, and looked at Boromir.
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"
"Only if you ask me..."
"Good God!," Aragorn yelled, "just give him the damn ice cream cone!"
"I would," Boromir said, "but I don't have any."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!" Legolas screamed. He stood up and threw the flaming stick straight at Boromir's head, a deadly shot. And missed completely.
"Somebody needs a nap," Sam said.
"NO NAPPP!"
"Aragorn nodded in agreement, "Yes, he does."
"NO NAPPPP!"
"I don't think he wants a nap," Arwen stated.
"NO NAAPPPPP!"
"Legolas do you want a nap?" Pippin asked looking up at the rampaging elf.
"NO NAAAPPPPPPP!!"
Merry shrugged, "I guess he doesn't want a nap."
"NOO NAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!"
"Too bad, 'cause he's gonna take one anyway." As soon as Boromir said this both he and Aragorn grabbed the elf by the arms and dragged him toward Arwen's tent.
"Lemme go!" Legolas kicked his legs. "I'm not going to take a nap! You can't make me!" The two men threw Legolas into Arwen's tent and locked the door. Aragorn looked at Legolas through the plastic window on the door.
"And you can't come out 'til you take your nap."
While Legolas sat in the tent and pouted the rest of the group went swimming in the river again.
After swimming they sat around the campfire and discussed social status and it's effect on career opportunities.
"Think being a king is the easiest job," Sam said, "You have all the money you want plus you don't have to do much, just order people around."
"Being king isn't all glamour," Boromir pointed out. "You have to make decisions that mean either life or death for your people. Isn't that right Aragorn?"
Aragorn, who hadn't really been paying attention to Boromir's dribble, jumped at hearing his name. "Well, in my personal experience as king I have found that there are only two phrases you need to know."
"What's that then?" Sam asked.
"'That's a brilliant idea, I'm glad I thought of it,' and 'Guards seize him!'"
"You can't run a country on just that," Boromir interjected. "You've got to have principles and some form of order."
"Aragorn shrugged, "Look where principles and order got you."
"Yeah," Pippin chimed in, "you're dead."
"Think as you like Boromir," Aragorn continued, "I think I... Why are you all staring at me?" Without blinking Frodo lifted a finger and pointed behind Aragorn.
There was Legolas, his face pressed against the plastic window of Arwen's tent. The elven prince puffed up his cheeks and blew onto the window making himself look like a fish. o_O went Aragorn (Can't think of a better way to describe it).
"I think Legolas is done with his nap," Frodo said.
Did he even take a nap?" Arwen asked.
"I'm putting my money on 'no,'" Gandalf said.
Aragorn unzipped the tent and Legolas bolted out.
"Look out I gotta pee!" Legolas zoomed off into the woods. Moments later he returned, a look of content on his face.
It was late in the afternoon and Sam sat under a tree munching on a turkey sandwich. Suddenly, a thin slice of ham fell out of the sky and landed on his face.
"MINNNEEE!" Sam looked up and saw Legolas charging at him. The crazed elf tackled the poor defense-less hobbit and began gnawing on the ham as well as Sam's face.
Sam sat there dumbfounded. He pulled the ham off his face, Legolas followed still chewing. Sam threw the ham (hey that rhymes) into the woods and Legolas dashed after it. The hobbit watched him sprint into the trees.
"There's somethin' ya don't see everyday," he said the continued eating his sandwich.
The sun had set and the Company (and Arwen) were sitting around the fire doing nothing in particular. Legolas had the flashlight again, Aragorn was rubbing Arwen's feet, Arwen was knitting, Boromir was staring at Gimli and, unbeknownst to him, drooling. Gimli was staring at Boromir drooling, Gandalf was trying to get his staff to stay standing up, and the four hobbits were all gathered around applying Just for Hobbits gel to Frodo's feet.
Gandalf popped at sunflower seed into his mouth.
"Ten bucks says I can hit the sauna," he said.
Aragorn looked at him, "Gandalf, I didn't know you were a gambling man."
Gandalf smirked, "I'm not."
"Oh," Aragorn said, "Well, in that case, I'll take that bet."
"I second the motion!" Legolas shouted, everyone looked at him.
"Legolas," Aragorn said, "you don't second bets."
Legolas looked confused," I thought we were voting on who we're gonna eat first."
"My dear elf," Gandalf said, "We have food. There's no need to eat anybody. And besides you wouldn't want to eat me. I'd be tough and stringy and probably spoiled."
"We don't have any food!" Legolas pointed to Gimli, "That PIG ate it all."
"But," Merry interrupted, "There was a nice man down at the river who gave us lots and lots of food."
"When?" Legolas asked,
While you were taking a nap."
Legolas's eye twitched, "YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID!!!" The other nine blinked. "Stoo-pid." Legolas pointed to them, "You are stupid," he pointed to himself, "I am smart S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T."
Someone snickered, and as to this day no one knows or can agree on who it was but that doesn't matter because it soon erupted into hysterical laughter. Legolas's face turned red with rage.
"I'M GOING TO BED!" he bellowed and stomped into the tent but not before he stumbled over the lawn chair and fell on his face, resulting in more laughter.
to be continued....
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Well, now for the bad news. I'm going to put this story aside for a little while so I can work on my other fics. I know you guys love this but I keep putting off working on the others to work on this one. At that rate they'll never get done. And this fic is sort of never ending (although I do have a good ending in mind for when I get sick of it, but mind you that won't be any time soon). So this one's gonna be on hold just for a little while, two months tops. I want to get a few of those others done, some of 'em are really close. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I drew a lovely picture for this chapter check it out @ www.angelfire.com/art2/takeshi Please review ~ Takeshi