Chapter 5: Breakfast Blues
"What are you two laughing about?" a female voice called from the girls' staircase.
"It's because of their CS, Lil," James said, turning around to face her. But it wasn't Lily he saw.
Celeste, carrying a stack of thick books, looked confused for a moment. "Lil?" Her facial expression turned to one of slight anger, but she said nothing.
"Oh, sorry about that, Celes," James apologized. He looked pointedly at Sirius, who (unsurprisingly) adopted a cool demeanor. "What're you doing down here so late?" He indicated the few people milling around near the fireplace.
Celeste shrugged. "Just homework, I guess," she answered, holding up the books to emphasize her answer.
"Well, what a coincidence," Remus said, exchanging an amused smile with James, then glancing at Sirius. "We were going to try to tackle some of those too."
"Seems like you've got quite a load there," James added. "Why don't you let Sirius help you carry those thick books? I'm sure he'd love to give you a hand," he suggested slyly, pushing Sirius forward.
Sirius stumbled and straightened up in front of her. "Er--need a hand?" he asked rather apprehensively.
"Thanks," she responded, handing him a few books. She looked at James and Remus's direction and smiled. "Can I sit with you guys? Chase doesn't feel like doing homework tonight. She's a big procrastinator," she informed as they walked to a quiet corner of the common room.
"Um--sure," Remus said uncertainly. He had just spotted Lily coming toward them, preoccupied with the task of completing a complicated-looking chart for Ancient Runes.
"Hey guys," Lily said without even looking up.
A spasm of ire crossed Celeste's face. Lily looked up, saw her former best friend glaring at her, and narrowed her eyes for a split second. Then she smiled in an obviously forced way.
"Celeste," she said in the most nonchalant voice she could muster, somewhere between unsubstantial hostility and strained (in a more subterranean level of) friendliness.
"Lily," Celeste replied in the same tone, yet there was more contempt behind her voice.
Just like in the Great Hall, the group was at a loss for words for a minute. Lily and Celeste, on the other hand, looked ready to claw each others' eyes out.
"Er--shall we go on, then?" Remus asked uncertainly. The others nodded, and they took their seats. Celeste and Remus had so many books that they all had to take two tables. Sirius, Remus and Lily sat in one while Celeste and James sat in the other. Lily took the seat farthest from Celeste.
For an hour, the five worked in silence, except for occasional questions from Celeste addressed to James on the different kinds of elemental amulets that are found in powerful sealing chambers deep underground Europe. James gave her a detailed explanation of the topic while Celeste smiled and nodded to his words.
The three on the table didn't fail to notice their conversation. Sirius kept shooting jealous glances at James while Lily gave Celeste sporadic death glares every now and then. Remus seemed to be the only one who understood the whole situation, but chose to ignore it while he finished his Arithmancy assignment.
After another thirty minutes of studying different books about dridiones from the library, they finally decided to call it quits. Lily was the first one to bolt, finding no rational reason to walk to the girls' dormitory with Celeste. Celeste took her time in gathering her things, putting as much time and distance between her and Lily as she could. She asked James to help her, who politely agreed. Sirius saw green again, but Remus hooked an arm around his shoulders and refrained him from…doing something that he might regret later.
"Thanks for helping me with homework, James," Celeste said in an unmistakably flirtatious voice. The two were walking behind Sirius and Remus, who were listening in, pretending to have a conversation of their own.
"Uh, no problem," James replied, avoiding her gaze.
"Do you think you could help Chase and me tomorrow night?" she asked.
James tried to avert his eyes from Celeste's puppy-dog ones. "I don't know. I might be busy tomorrow," he hedged.
"But if you were free, would you help us?" she said unrelentingly.
"I'm really not sure. Why don't you ask Sirius?" he tried. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.
Celeste shook her head. "I don't know about that. Doesn't he have detention tomorrow night?"
Sirius cursed himself inwardly for his wrong timing to cause trouble, and Remus chuckled at the irony. Too bad for Mr. 'Cool and Unaffected.'
"What about Remus?" James said, not giving up either.
"Well…maybe Chase would like that," she answered thoughtfully. Remus froze up.
James, seeing this, grinned. "And why is that?" he asked mischievously.
"Oh, it's just that--never mind. Just tell me if either of you is free tomorrow, okay? Thanks again for your help." She bid the three of them good night before bouncing up the girls' staircase.
James caught up with his friends, who were already halfway up the stairs. "Wait up!"
Upon reaching them, he walked beside Sirius. Sirius glared at him.
"What? What have I done now?" he asked in a bewildered tone.
"He thinks Celeste fancies you, and he fancies Celeste, so…" Remus trailed off.
"Oh, that," James said, turning beet red. "It's not my fault she likes me," he said defensively. "Besides, I'm not interested in her. So what's your problem?" he asked Sirius.
Sirius just scowled. "You're going to ruin my chances with her," he accused.
James shook his head in frustration. "I told you, I don't fancy her. The only way that I would be ruining your chances, or whatever, is if I liked her too. And I don't," he added when Sirius frowned again.
"Yeah, he doesn't because he fancies Lily," Remus cut in.
"I could say you're in the same situation too, Chase," James retorted.
"I believe you're mistaken, James. I'm Remus," Remus corrected, though his face turned crimson at the mention of the name.
"Yeah, right, but soon it's going to be RemusandChase," Sirius chimed in. He looked like he was starting to accept Celeste's interest in James. After all, as long as it was one-sided, there was nothing to fear, right?
Remus pushed opened the door. "Will you two shut up? If Celeste likes James and he doesn't, is there any reason why you can't swallow the fact that Chase and I are the same way?" he asked hotly. Of course, he didn't like Chase, not as more than a friend, anyway. He had other things to occupy his mind with at this age, and unlike Sirius, he was sensible enough to keep his emotions in check. Although this conversation was making him feel a little sick.
"What's wrong with a little excitement in your life, Rem?" Sirius pressed.
"I thought practical jokes were your idea of excitement in life, Sirius," Remus said.
"Yeah, that too. But pranks aren't life."
"You said so in our second year."
"I was twelve then!"
"You were clever enough to know what obligations in life are more important than others."
"No, I was not, and so were you."
"Yes I was, don't you remember me telling you that when you said that pranks are life in second year?"
"I don't think so."
"Well, you should, after hearing the last thee sentences I said."
"But I was twelve years old then!"
"You're saying the same thing all over again."
"Did I?"
"Didn't you?"
"Don't remember."
"You didn't, but I did."
"Oh, shut up already!" Sirius cried, throwing up his arms. "Fine, if you're so defensive on the matter then we shall not pursue it further."
"Quite formal words from a Prankster King," James quipped.
"You zip your lip too," Sirius told him.
"Okay, but I would just like to point out that you--"
"Let's just go to sleep, and we'll talk about all this tomorrow," Sirius interrupted.
"The day before detention," James said darkly.
"No, it's not. I have detention tomorrow," Sirius corrected.
"Who said I was talking about you?"
"Who said you weren't?"
"Isn't it understandable that I was talking about the four of us?"
"Four? There are only three here."
"Duh. I'm talking about Lily, of course."
"Oh yes, how could I forget about your girlfriend?"
"She is not my girlfriend!"
"Not yet, but you have been accepted the right to be called a couple--"
"Which, in fact, you and Celeste are not."
"Are you saying that you and Lily are indeed an item?"
"No, because we aren't."
"It doesn't show."
"How doesn't it show?"
"The fact that you two are always arguing like an old married couple--"
"Old married couples don't fight like we do."
"You don't know about old married couples because you're not married yet."
"So are you."
"There are certain things that I know of more than you do and you'll just have to accept it."
"There are certain things that I know the logical explanation of that you'll never understand."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"Is that supposed to convince me?"
"What does it matter? You're the one with the irreparable wreck of a brain."
"You wouldn't know that."
"I could too."
"How?"
"It shows."
"You mean, I have the ability to open up my head and show you my brain?"
"No. That idiotic theory is enough reason to say that you have an obsolete cerebrum."
"Then why do I always get top grades in Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures?"
"It's a mystery that has yet to be solved."
Remus cleared his throat. "Didn't you just say we were going to sleep?"
"--purely a coincidence that you can read the stars right," James was saying.
"It's in my blood!" Sirius said furiously.
"You have centaurs in your family?"
"No, you idiot! I think you're the one who needs a brain transplant."
Sighing, Remus shrugged and climbed into bed and tried to find a comfortable spot.
Sirius and James kept bickering at each other, long after Remus had finally fallen asleep.
*****
Tuesday morning in the Great Hall was like all other mornings in the Great Hall. Students from the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables kept passing the Gryffindor's, encouraging the marauders to 'do it again sometime.' This time, Peter was the one who slept late.
"Funny thing for a guy who slept the earliest in the dormitory," Sirius commented as he poured milk onto his cereal. "A glutton for sleep, that's what he is."
"Don't be so harsh on him, Sirius," James said.
Sirius chomped on his breakfast and pretended not to hear him. A while later Lily sat down next to him (James was at his other side).
"You seem to be early today," she remarked.
"Their minds work upside-down. When they actually sleep early, they wake up late. When they sleep late, they wake up early. It's the conundrum of their anatomies," Remus said seriously.
Lily laughed. "Conundrum, huh? Maybe it's no riddle. Both of them do have colossal stupidity."
The three boys looked at one another and burst out laughing.
"What? What's so funny?" Lily asked, confused.
"N-nothing," Sirius gasped.
"Nothing to you," Lily said haughtily.
James stopped laughing. "Get a check-up, Lil. Maybe you're the one with CS."
Lily frowned. "What the hell are you babbling about?"
"You don't know 'cause you've got CS," Sirius sniggered.
"What are you guys laughing about?" a voice said behind them.
The four turned around and saw Chase. There was a chorus of 'hey's before she sat down opposite Remus. James and Sirius glanced at him astutely. Whether or not she purposely sat there was hard to figure out, but the two were leaning for the yes anyway. Remus glowered at them.
"'Morning, Chase," Sirius greeted, shooting cunning looks at Remus.
"Where's your sister?" James asked, just for kicks. He almost laughed out loud at the others' reactions. Lily scowled at him, giving him a why-did-you-bring-her-up? look. Sirius was positively salivating. Remus appeared disinterested, and Chase looked worriedly at Lily.
"I don't know," she said finally. "She was awake when I got up. Probably still in the shower."
"What time did she go to the shower?" James asked.
"About thirty minutes ago."
"She showers that long?" he said incredulously.
Chase looked at him strangely. "Don't all girls do?"
James shook his head. "The longest Lil ever took was twenty-five, and that was after we rock-climbed with the Blacks two summers ago."
Chase shrugged. "Well, you know Celes… She's too prissy and scrupulous sometimes."
"Looks like it," Remus remarked.
Chase glanced at him. "Yeah. Back home, she used to take an hour blow-drying. Then she'd use curlers…and a bunch of beauty products that I wouldn't be caught dead applying. It's annoying sometimes how she's too fussy about her looks."
"I didn't know she was that vain," Lily commented.
"Oh, not necessarily. She's just a little shallow on pulchritude."
"Poultry-what?" James asked, befuddled.
"Pul--"
"Don't mind them, people like him are what we call the adrenaline inculcated," Lily interrupted.
"Come again?" Sirius said.
Lily looked at him for a moment. "Yup, him too," she nodded to Chase. Chase laughed.
"What is it with girls and their nonsense phrases?" Sirius wondered aloud.
"We don't speak nonsense, men are just superfluously inane," she snapped at him.
"Superfluously inane," James repeated. "Whatta phrase."
Remus chuckled. "It means exorbitantly stupid," he supplied.
Lily and Chase clapped. "Right on the money!" Lily cheered. "It's good to know that at least one male understands more complicated words."
Remus pretended to do a little bow. "Thank you, thank you."
Sirius glared at them. "We're not superflourly inant--"
"Superfluously inane," Chase corrected.
"Whatever," Sirius said. "All I mean is, we're not exorbitantly stupid."
"Yes, you are," Lily deadpanned.
"No, we're not!" Sirius yelled.
"So what does 'adrenaline inculcated' mean?" James said thoughtfully.
"Let me rephrase it more clearly," Lily told him. "It's the sickness of idiots."
"I'm not adrenaline inculcated!" James protested.
"If you weren't, then you would've understood what I said right from the start," Lily countered.
"And protested right away," Chase added.
Sirius crossed his arms. "Well. It's not my fault that my vocabulary isn't as full as yours. You probably diligently read through the whole dictionary and thesaurus with lots of happy pictures that would better explain your--"
"Actually, the only pictures I saw were of you and James, and those were on the words 'asinine' and 'dim-witted'," Lily interjected with a smirk.
"I thought you reserved those special words for you and Snape," James said scornfully.
"How dare you!" Lily screeched at him.
Chase pointed behind her. "Hey look, here he comes now."
True to her word, Snape and his lackeys Avery and Nott were bearing down to the Gryffindor Table. Snape looked particularly malevolent today.
"Hey, Snape, have you come to court Philip McKinnon now?" a sixth-year Gryffindor called at him. Philip glared at the sixth year.
"Or maybe you're asking for tips on how to apply your makeup properly from one of the girls," another boy called out.
Snape glowered at them, but turned his attention to the marauders. Avery and Nott cracked their knuckles.
Sirius turned his seat around so he was facing the three Slytherins. "If it isn't the queer and his two shadows, Umbra and Penumbra," he said sarcastically. Avery glared at him but didn't throw a punch. Dumbledore was still at the High Table.
"Penumbra seems to be having a growth spurt," James added, looking at Nott. "Did you grow longer when the queer was in the spotlight last Saturday?"
"When are you going to host your next fashion show?" Lily asked, her eyes sparkling maliciously.
"I hope you add new recruits, having only one model is kind of boring," Chase chimed in.
"Are you going to wear a halter bikini and a T-back, Snape?" Remus said with a pleasant smile.
Avery lunged at him, but Snape pulled him back by his robes, hissing something that sounded vaguely like "Are you crazy? Dumbledore's still here!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I make a mistake? I was going to say fag," Remus taunted him.
Snape looked ready to explode. His hands shaking with rage, he took out his wand and yelled, "Paralysis!"
There was a flash of red light, and Dumbledore and the other teachers stood up. A murmur of assent passed through the Hall. The blinding light disappeared and they found Remus crouched inside a giant blue bubble-like thing that had obviously reflected the hex.
Professor McGonagall moved the quickest. "Fifty points from Slytherin!" she shouted, her face red. At her heel was Professor Ridgewood, who was glaring at the Gryffindors. They reached the table and stood beside Remus.
"Are you all right, Lupin?" Professor McGonagall asked in concern.
"Yes, Professor," Remus replied, and when he waved his wand, the shield disappeared.
Professor McGonagall turned to Snape. "What do you think you were doing?! Attacking a fellow student--Dumbledore watching--"
"He was insulting me, Professor!" Snape answered in revolt. "Mocking me that I was a fag--"
"Mocking or not, fighting is against the rules! You should have known better than to let him provoke you!" Professor McGonagall snapped at him.
"Minerva, do give the boy a chance. Do you not remember what Potter, Black and Lupin have done to Severus last Saturday? I suggest that you punish them, not--"
"I believe in treating my students fairly, Professor Ridgewood. Lupin will get a detention, and so will Snape--"
"I believe that is called favoritism, Professor McGonagall," Ridgewood interjected with a grim smile.
Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "Why don't you look into the folders in Apollyon Pringle's filing cabinet and see the number of cases your Slytherins have avoided punishment, Professor? I'm sure that favoritism didn't help them get away with the consequences," she said coldly. Professor Ridgewood couldn't find anything to say to that and beckoned Snape to follow him out of the Great Hall. Avery and Nott, seeing their 'leader' taken away, scurried back to the Slytherins, who were all glaring at Professor McGonagall.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Professor M," Sirius remarked after Ridgewood and Snape had gone.
Professor McGonagall smiled at him. "There are a lot of things you do not know about your teachers, Black," she answered lightly.
Sirius's eyes glowed with interest. "Really? Do you have the goods on Ridgewood?"
"Professor Ridgewood to you, Black. And it isn't your business as to what he has done in the past."
"But he did do something, right?"
Professor McGonagall scrutinized him for a moment. "It depends," she replied.
"Didn't he ever mess up something in his classes when he was a boy?" James asked.
"I was a student then myself, Potter. Now please, no more discussion of Professor Ridgewood's past. Twenty minutes until the first class, so do try to get to class on time. No side trips, Black," she reminded him. "For some strange reason Mr. Pringle's broom closet had bunnies and flowers painted on the walls with a baby blue background. You know how he hates those kind of things." She walked back to the High Table.
The group watched her retreating back. "How come I'm the only one she reminds about that?" Sirius demanded. "You helped me paint the broom closet, James, so why does she always think I'm the one who does everything?"
"Probably because you've got the most detentions since our first year," James said.
Sirius frowned. "Oh yeah? How many do you have, including the detentions you haven't served yet?"
"Since I was eleven? Wait a minute…" James started mentally adding his detentions. "792," he finally said.
"792?" Chase said in amazement.
"Yeah," James said. "156 in first year, 370 in the second…and 264 in the third. I've got two detentions lined up this week, so that makes 792," he finished. "What are you so surprised about? Remus isn't that far behind, he has 784."
Remus half-smiled. "Well, I'm not the last. Lily has 649."
"649?!" Chase exclaimed.
"Yep. That proves that girls are wusses," James confirmed.
"Better a wuss than a superfluously inane male," Chase shot back.
"That's getting old. Use another phrase," James said.
Chase paused. "I don't know. You're pretty good at Quidditch--"
"So true," James agreed with a smirk.
"I mean, you're an egotistical Seeker. Sirius's the thousand foul boy." Chase smirked.
"Thousand fouls? I don't do a thousand fouls," Sirius ranted.
"You're a Beater. Beaters always get a lot of fouls--"
"You don't count smashing someone's nose when they possess the Quaffle a foul," Sirius argued. "It's called doing a Beater's job on the Quidditch field."
"It doesn't look that way if you keep swinging the Bludgers at the referee, or, more specifically, your own teammates," Chase countered.
Sirius scowled. "It's not my fault Keith couldn't avoid the freakin' ball," he huffed.
Chase smirked and shifted her eyes at something behind Sirius. "Yo, sis," she greeted. Once again, different reactions could be read obviously from every face.
This time, Chase didn't look worried. Annoyance was more of the word as she looked back and forth from her best friend (so Lily's both their best friend, okay?) and her twin.
Sirius immediately tried for the CCC look (cool, calm and collected), but his eyes were glazed over as he stared at Celeste.
A snap-out-of-it look was on Remus's face.
James looked at everything except Celeste's light ultramarine eyes.
Lily sighed and turned away with an indifferent expression.
Celeste was staring at James.
When nobody said anything, Celeste shrugged and walked to the other side of the table to sit next to Chase, opposite James. She speared a piece of pancake that had appeared onto her plate with a fork and started munching on it, still gazing intently at James.
"So, Jamie," Celeste began.
Since when did she call James Jamie? Sirius thought enviously. Sure, he didn't have a nickname, but that was beside the point.
James changed tactics and tried to look unconcerned, looking surprisingly like Lily. He glanced at Sirius once.
"Are you free tonight?" she asked casually. It was an innocent question, only when heard from her, it came out sounding like she was asking him for a date.
Sirius glared at James. "Uh…I'm not free tonight," James answered. Then he looked at Remus and his eyes twinkled. "Rem is, though."
This time it was Remus who glared at him. "No, I'm not," he vetoed.
"Yes, you are," Sirius jumped in. "You said that Professor Whatzisname wouldn't give you any homework in Arithmancy until next week. Our other teachers might give us assignments, but you finish them right away anyhow."
"Then where are you guys going to do all your homework?" Remus asked shrewdly.
James shrugged. "Dormitory, I suppose."
"Then that means that you are free!" Celeste asserted.
James shook his head. "Sirius and I are going to work on an experiment for a new joke," he explained. "We can't do that in the common room, where everyone will see us."
Celeste's mouth formed a pout. "Oh, all right," she said sulkily. She turned to Chase. "Guess it'll be Remus," she told her.
To the three boys' surprise, Chase shrugged. "James, Remus, whoever. Honestly, dear sister, I don't know why you even need someone to 'help' us with homework. You can do it perfectly well on your own."
Celeste gave her a look. Chase sighed.
"All I mean is, why do you go to such desperate lengths to--"
"I think we're done now," Celeste said loudly. "Let's go, Chase," she added, dragging her sister along.
"I'm not finished yet!" Chase protested, holding a half-eaten tuna sandwich in her slender hands.
"You can finish it while we walk to class," Celeste answered. "Have you worked on your next…"
The marauders couldn't hear them anymore as they passed through the Hufflepuff Table. All of them couldn't fail to notice that a lot of boys' heads turned at Chase.
"Weird, I didn't know that Chase had that many admirers," James commented. "I thought they would go for Celeste since she's prettier and more effeminate."
Lily shook her head. "No, Celeste's just too obsessed with her looks. Sure, she's really good with makeup and all that other stuff, but she doesn't possess Chase's laid-back attitude and athletic ability on top of academic excellence."
"You make it sound like she's perfect," Sirius said with a frown.
"Maybe not, but she's more fun to be with than someone who talks about how she spent forever on choosing an outfit for the Spring Ball to her date," Lily retorted. "Trust me on this, Sirius. If you're looking for a girl that's best for you, pick Chase."
"But Chase is, you know, slightly sarcastic but a down-to-earth kind of girl," Sirius argued.
"So?"
"So she's not my type."
James looked bewildered. "You mean, your type is someone who is too concerned with her beauty that she might not notice you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at him.
"I don't know, Sirius," Remus told him. "If you're planning on going for Celeste, then shouldn't you be making a move now?"
Sirius held up his hands. "Some things just can't be rushed."
Lily looked at her watch. "We better go. Ten minutes till Charms." The four of them stood up and headed to their classroom on the third floor.
As they climbed the stairs, James realized he hadn't told them anything about the mysterious room he found for three days already.
*****
The day passed slowly by and still Sirius didn't work up the courage to talk to Celeste, James hadn't told them about the chamber, Lily didn't tell them what she and Celeste had fought about, and Remus refused to do homework with the C twins. Thankfully, Chase stopped them in the hall before Divination and told him that he didn't have to go if he didn't want to.
"She just wanted James to come along anyway," she had said. "Now that he's out, having someone else there doesn't matter."
"Are you sure you don't want Remus to help you?" James asked her.
Chase glanced at Remus. "No offense, but we do know when and where all the goblin rebellions took place and how to transfigure armadillos into throw pillows, so we really don't need your help that much," she said.
Remus nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I understand," he assured her. Then he gave a triumphant grin to Sirius and James as Chase ran off to catch up with Celeste.
"See? She's not into me at all!" he said.
"You never know when she's just trying to be subtle," James pointed out. "You know, to keep you wondering. Then, when you start thinking that she should have come on to you and she didn't, she'll surprise you by…coming on to you."
Remus frowned. "Where do you get all your ideas?"
James shrugged. "It's called reverse psychology. Don't you know about that?"
"Why don't you just ask Lily if she really likes Rem?" Sirius suggested sarcastically.
They all looked at Lily. "I don't know. Chase never told me she had a crush on someone, or…not that I can think of." Lily thought for a moment. "If you ask me, she doesn't have any non-platonic feelings for anyone," she declared.
"Good," Remus said. They reached the ladder connecting Professor Trelawney's classroom to the rest of the world. When they reached the attic/tea shop room, the rest of the class was already there.
"You're late," Professor Trelawney said disapprovingly.
"Well, if you just moved your class to another part of the school, then maybe none of us would have any trouble coming here," Sirius answered bluntly as the four of them sat down at one table that had four crystal balls on it ("I thought crystal gazing was over in our third year!" Sirius whined).
Professor Trelawney chose not to respond. "Today, class, we start to learn to consult the stars and the planetary movements. Astrology is one of the most difficult topics in Divination, but I sense that you are ready to handle the powers of your Inner Eye…"
James and Sirius stifled their chuckled as Professor Trelawney gazed their way.
"We shall study about the different stars closest to Earth…"
"Excuse me, but did I get the directions wrong? I thought this was the Divination classroom, not the Astronomy Tower," James whispered to them.
"You are much mistaken, sir," Lily said with a straight face. "This is the private domain of an escaped mental patient from St. Mungo's Hospital of Magical Maladies and Injuries." The four of them laughed, causing Professor Trelawney to look their way when she was showing the class a crystal ball. The fog had cleared within it and was currently showing a small model of the solar system.
"My dears, I see that you are not concentrating your senses on your auras. I suggest that you look into the crystal ball and tell me what you see." The fog returned, and as it cleared, it showed a galaxy of stars spread out in all directions.
"Well?" she asked impatiently.
"I see stars," James answered. The perfumes in the fireplace were much more potent than usual and were making him feel much more stupid.
"The Milky Way," Remus and Lily chorused.
"Heaven shining through a big black tapestry filled with little holes," Sirius replied. The whole class laughed out loud.
"You are not focusing! This is not the time for jokes and humor!" Professor Trelawney said furiously, losing her misty tone.
"But you told us to tell what we saw," James responded innocently.
The Divination teacher glared at them. "Class, we shall now consult the stars about the things you will go through for the whole week. As you see, each of you has a crystal ball. Clear your mind of all thoughts except to know the future and soon the solar system would appear into the sphere…"
The marauders stared intently at their respective crystal balls for a few minutes. After a while, Sirius yawned and pushed his orb toward the middle of the table. "I think my Inner Eye is asleep," he said.
Lily was still looking at her foggy crystal ball. "There must be a nebula taking place in this ball," she told them.
"Yeah, right. You're just saying that because it's still all thick with fog," James scoffed.
"I don't see the solar system in your orb, James," Lily pointed out.
"You can't see it," James informed her. "Only those who possess the true Inner Eye shall see within the depths of the fog--I mean, nebulae…" he added, mimicking Professor Trelawney's misty voice.
"Like you're even capable of possessing the Inner Eye's eyelashes," Lily shot back with a smirk.
"This is stupid," Remus announced. He was the last one who had torn his eyes away from his crystal ball.
"Superfluously inane, even," James added with a sardonic smile.
"Yep. The only people who would ever do something like this are the adrenaline inculcated," Sirius said reverently.
Professor Trelawney appeared behind them. "I could hardly fail to notice that none of you, though good in academics, could even make the solar system appear in your crystal balls," she snapped at the four of them.
"Bet you could," Lily muttered darkly.
"I beg your pardon?" Professor Trelawney narrowed her eyes at her.
"You don't understand, Professor," Sirius explained. "Those are nebulae--"
"I have had enough of your nonsense excuses! Black, sit with Ms. Findlay and Ms. Roscoe. Potter, sit with Pettigrew. Lupin, go to Kimball's table. Ms. Evans, I believe Ms. Schoharie can help you to properly make a model of the heavenly bodies in your Orb. For the rest of the year, this will be your seating arrangement."
Sirius and Lily scowled at her.
What an incredible bitch, Lily thought bitterly as she headed to the twins' table.
Idiot dragonfly, Sirius thought. She should have known better than to put me with these two bimbos. Why couldn't I have sat with Celeste?
James and Remus had nothing to complain about. Peter and Martin were fair company and since Peter was one of James's best friends and Martin was their dorm mate, they got along well.
Sirius was having trouble concentrating. Kylie Findlay and Sylvia Roscoe were two of his biggest fans, and they were taking full advantage over the fact that he was at their table. All throughout the lesson they kept flirting and giggling, but frankly, Sirius only became annoyed and more turned off with the two of them. They weren't exactly (in his standards) pretty, anyway.
Lily was revolted at the fact that Trelawney assigned Celeste to help her, and while the two put up their act in front of their professor, Chase looked ready to raise the white flag and give up trying to persuade them to make up again.
After one and a quarter hour of observing their crystal balls (James was busy counting the stars in his), the class was finally over. The four couldn't wait to get out of that stuffy place.
"Can you believe her?" Lily seethed as she stormed back to the common room. Remus and Sirius had gone ahead of them, Sirius insisting that he really needed to eat and dragging Remus along to protect him from Kylie and Sylvia.
"Knowing that she's the president of the Supremely Confounded Lunatics Society, yes," James answered lightly.
"You're just all happy because she didn't put you under any physical and emotional torture," Lily snapped at him.
"Well, if you're so depressed, then why don't you just make up with Celeste and put a stop to your anguish?" James returned.
"You don't get it. It's not that simple," she replied quietly as Celeste descended the ladder.
James looked from a blank-faced Celeste, to Chase who went down shortly after her, and to Lily, who had her arms folded defiantly. He waited until Chase said bye to Lily before responding. "It may not be simple, Lil, but it beats getting your energy drained whenever you're in the same room, let alone the same table with her. If you weighed it down, what's the better solution?"
Lily sighed, slightly surprised with the gentleness in James's voice. It wasn't usual for her 'friend' to divulge any words of wisdom, especially to her. Most of their conversations consisted of bickering and mockery, occasionally something that had to do with homework or their next trick. She never expected that he would still do this after the things the two of them had put each other through. "Maybe you're right," she finally said.
James grinned. "Absolutely. I can't wait for the two of you to make up so you could tell her to get out of my face," he joked.
Lily swatted him with her Unfogging the Future. "Jerk," she said.
Avoiding the thick book caused him to collide with Martin Kimball. "All that perfume must be seeping into your brain, James," Martin said as he rubbed at his shoulder. "Sorry, Mart," James apologized.
As Martin disappeared down the spiraling staircase, the two followed suit. "Stand forth and fight, you dirty cur!" Sir Cadogan yelled.
"You're losing your touch," Lily told him.
"And your sight, too. Curs are dogs, aren't they?" he asked Lily. Lily nodded.
"Those who flee are cowards! Dastardly recreants! You cannot escape your fates, you pusillanimous renegades!" Sir Cadogan shouted as they rounded the next set of stairs.
"Shut the bloody hell up!" James hollered back.
They made their way back to the Great Hall. Upon reaching the Gryffindor Table, they noticed Sirius flanked by Kylie, Sylvia, and a few other girls from other Houses that were obviously their friends. Remus was nowhere in sight.
"You're so lucky!" a Hufflepuff fourth year gushed at Sylvia. "For the whole year, too. I wish Professor Kettleburn will make me Sirius's partner in CMC."
Sirius muttered the words 'I hope not." Then he noticed James and Lily standing there.
"Hey, Sirius," James greeted with an evil grin. "Are these your adoring fans?"
The girls all squealed and giggled.
"Oh. Very attractive," Lily murmured dryly to James. She ushered a Ravenclaw from her seat. "Excuse me, but I believe that there's another seat around that's calling your name. Somewhere around the Ravenclaw table," she told her. The girl scowled, but Lily could outlast that with an eyebrow raise any day.
"Just one question, though," James continued, a smirk still plastered on his face. "Where were you all for the last four days?" Finding no seat of his own, he looked at Kylie, who was on the chair at Sirius's right. "Are you done eating?" he asked.
"Yes," Kylie replied, her eyes never leaving Sirius.
"Mind if I sit down in your seat?" he said. "Oh! Sure." Kylie quickly stood up and went behind Sylvia's chair.
Sirius glared at her. "I think I can eat by myself, thanks," he said icily to the group. The girls were unfazed but decided to leave the rest of their flirty antics to the next day, and they disappeared to a corner of the Hall where they could watch Sirius from a safe distance.
"Bad night, huh?" Lily said sympathetically.
"I think Sylvia and Kylie are looking for new recruits," James added. Lily shot him a look.
Sirius shoved food into his mouth as fast as he could. "All I can say is, shut up," he said through a mouthful of fried chicken.
"Sure, but I would just like to inform you that your detention is still at nine, and you don't have to rush on the food," said James matter-of-factly.
"You would too if eight pairs of eyes are boring into the back of your neck," Sirius snapped at him. "Didn't you just say that you were going to shut up?"
"Where's Remus?" James asked.
"In the common room, where else?" Sirius answered impatiently. "He left with the Chase and Celes," he added, and his brows furrowed.
"Ah, yes," James said cheerily, "His study date with two gorgeous girls--"
"Isn't there anything that will keep you from talking for a full minute?" Sirius said while stuffing his fingers into his ears.
"There's a solution," Lily said, taking a bite out of an apple. With a swift motion, she stuffed it into James's mouth.
James spit it out a split second later. "Gross!" He made a face.
"What's gross? It's an apple," Sirius said mildly.
"An apple with Lily's saliva contaminating it," James answered disgustedly, sticking his tongue out.
Sirius grinned. "You mean, you kissed her informally?"
James threw a chicken bone at his head. "Don't be such a dork."
"I'm not a dork. If I was, all the girls wouldn't want me," Sirius said somberly.
"You mean, all the ditzes," Lily corrected.
"Whatever. Now, if you lovers will excuse me, I have a detention to serve," he confided, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"Good luck then. And we're not lovers," James responded.
Sirius slung his book bag over his shoulder. "Uh-huh. That's why you two had a pretty intimate conversation back at the North Tower," he called as he passed.
Lily's face flushed, though James couldn't be sure if it was out of embarrassment or anger. "Ignore him," he advised.
"One…two…three…" she muttered vaguely, clenching her fists.
"Come on, let's go back." He stood up and held out his hand.
After counting to ten, Lily took it and smiled. Maybe there really was more than banter and practical jokes between them.
*****
Dimantrien: Awwww, ain't that sweet. Are you still reading? Review, please….
Chase: You mean, with sugar and chocolate sprinkles on top?
Dimantrien: Who ever invented that addition to 'please,' anyway?
Chase: Dunno, maybe the inventor was really hungry at that time then.
Dimantrien: Ha ha. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the fic!
Chase: I'm also your logo, and you're not supposed to treat me this way.
Dimantrien: You and Celeste are. I don't see her popping into the author's note…
Chase: If you want reviews, why don't you just tell them that you won't post the next fic until they give you some?
Dimantrien: Because I don't work that way. Now, get lost.
Chase: You owe me for drawing all your sketches.
Dimantrien: I created you, and I was the one who drew all that, stupid! You're so…er…adrenaline inculcated.
Chase: And you're exorbitantly stupid.
Dimantrien: You know, those insults are getting pretty old.
Chase: Then why do you keep using them?
Dimantrien: I'm going to stop typing now.
Chase: That's not fai--
Dimantrien (smirks): As I was saying…
*Sirius pops out of nowhere*
Dimantrien (groans): What do you want?
Sirius: Why'd you change the characters so much?
Dimantrien: What about the characters did I change so much?
Sirius: You know…me having a crush on Celeste, girls fawning all over me…
Dimantrien: Why? Don't you like that?
Sirius: Well, the Celeste part was okay, except for James butting in, so--
Dimantrien: So there's nothing to complain about.
Sirius (sighs in exasperation): No! Why do I have to have a bunch of ugly sluts to admire me?
Dimantrien: Don't be so harsh. Fourteen-year-olds can't be sluts. Maybe airheads or bimbos, but nothing too brutal.
Sirius: Okay, airheads then. That doesn't change the fact that they're annoying and turn flirtation into an art form.
Dimantrien: Yada, yada, yada. Now, will you please go away?! I'm trying to write the next chapter for goodness' sake! Can't a writer get some peace around here?
Sirius: All right… But don't give me any problems in the next part. *vanishes with a pop*
Dimantrien (sighs): And I thought I was the author of this story…
Note: The last part is just something that the author wrote for no reason at all because of the fact that she has run out of things to say in the AN (except for the plead that you please, please review). Hope you don't mind the extra lines.