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Disclaimers: I don't own it and I never will.

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This is all just a dream; just an awful, horrible dream that I'll wake up from at any minute.

Any minute now.

I screwed up again, didn't I?  I tried to help, like I always do, and I screwed things up.  Why does… why does this always happen when I'm involved?  Someone always dies.  I probably just killed her.  Even now, after I've lived so long I don't even remember how old I am, I still have the worst luck.  Death still follows me everywhere I go, like a shadow.

Pulling my legs up to my chest, I wrap my arms about myself, eyebrows knit together in confusion.  What did I do wrong?  The program seemed to know what it was doing.  Why didn't it tell me what to do?

I close my eyes and feel a tear fall down my face, my throat clenching up.  Dammit.  Damn me.  I'm cursed with bad luck, I know it.  I can't keep a sane and stable relationship with my brother, I can't fall in love and hold on to it, and I can't prevent the death of every person on this planet.  I'm… useless.  God, that makes me feel awful.  I know it's not true.  I know that I've done plenty of things to help others.  I've saved lives, and I've helped create the world that we now live in.  I can't let this beat me, or us.

Screw this.  That's right.  I'm not going to give up like that.  I place my feet firmly on the floor and lean forward, squinting at the confounded screen.  The computer is… making noise.

"Vash, are you still crawling around in that damned hole?"  Knives voice echoes eerily through the tiny crawlspace and the cramped room where I sit, still having a staring contest with a blank screen.  I feel helpless and weak-minded.  There must be something I can do.

"Something…"  I clear my throat, forcing down the lump in it before trying again to yell back at him.  "Something bad happened.  I think I may have done something wrong!"

"I don't know what you're saying but get your ass out of that hole, you idiot!  Jason's here."

Sighing, I stand from the chair and go back to the undersized passageway.  Maybe I did fail, and I can't fix it.  But maybe we can try again.  I cast a glance back at the screen, now flashing another message before turning, going headfirst into the tunnel.  My eyes widen and I immediately pull myself back out.  Message?  I scramble back over to the computer and squint at it.

Data input complete.

Data input complete?

Data input… "Data input complete!  Knives, I think I did it!!"  I shove my head into the shaft, grinning like a maniac for none other than the spiders to see.  "Knives, is the plant working?  How is she doing?"

There is a moment of hesitation before he answers me, voice bellowing through the place like a typhoon.  "Yes she's working, dumbass!  That's why you should get out of there now!"

Without a second to think, I shove myself into the cramped space once again and begin a furious, manic crawl towards the other end.  I ignore the jagged piece of metal jutting up from the floor, which scrapes along the imitation flesh of my left arm and tears my other pant leg.  I really couldn't care that the dust is beginning to suffocate me and I'm breathing frantically, going from coughs to over-joyous laughs to sob-like sounds of happiness.  I reach the end and spill from the passageway like liquid, flowing onto the floor and standing up.  I ignore Jason's curious looks and Knives' awkward glare and I run to the stairs that lead to the plant.  I stumble up the steps, falling once again but refuse to let it slow me down as I crawl over to her and press my hand against the glass.  "Are you alright now?  Did it stop hurting?" I shout at her, not bothering to notice that it wasn't necessary.

The answer is as clear in my mind as if it had been spoken aloud.  "Yes."

I jump to my feet, not knowing whether to throw my arms in the air or hug myself in excitement.  I feel… shocked.  Surprised, shocked, elated.  I don't know what to do.  Instead of the obvious, which would be me jumping up and down like a complete and total moron, I take a moment to remind myself that this may not be the end or the source of the problem.  There is still a chance that it was only a small solution to the main riddle.  "I think we may have fixed it."

"What did you do?" Jason asks, taking a step forward and peering up at me through the railing.

I turn and grin down at them both, wiping at my face, probably only smearing the dirt and dust that has gathered there.  "There was a message on the computer in there that said "data input necessary."  I simply accepted the command, and it… well, I guess it worked."

Jason looks confused for a moment, rubbing at his chin in thought.  I just noticed that he looks rather tired, and is still wearing his robe and slippers.  Knives must have dragged him out of bed.  "The computer?  You mean the reproduction mainframe down there?"  I nod.  "Nothing like this has ever happened before in the history of plants on this planet.  I was always told that those grids needed no maintenance or human support of any kind."

Knives steps forward, looking a bit angry.  He sneers at Jason and the general situation before saying, "Of course you were told that.  It's part of a lost technology.  You can't expect to know anything about something that's never happened before.  You're only human."

"Knives…"

"Oh shut up, Vash.  I didn't mean anything by it."  I nod meekly and look away.

Jason is completely unaffected by Knives' apparent hostility.  He is still looking thoughtful.  I know that he is much smarter than others give him credit for, especially my brother.  His mind works like a computer, itself; always calculating and solving problems with simpler solutions than expected.  I watch him intently, trying to decipher what he's thinking.  "What we need to do now… is somehow integrate the two main programs together."  He takes another moment to think.  "I'll need to learn more about the reproduction program first, though, and find out why that happened.  Knives," he turns to my brother, ready to give orders and not care about protestations from him.  "You and Vash go to… wherever you're staying.  Leave this to me."

That's not what I'd expected him to say.  Before Knives can make any sort of comment, I speak up.  "But Jason, we can't just leave this all to you.  Let us help."

He shrugs and kneels down to peer into the small corridor I'd crawled out of.  "No, it's really a one-man job, anyway, and I know more about plants than you give me credit for.  Get a shower, Vash.  You look awful."

I frown, looking down at my dirty clothes and one bloodstained sleeve.  "Thanks."

Knives rolls his eyes and turns from us, practically stomping out of the room.  I'd thought he would at least care about the situation enough to argue with Jason.  I guess not.  He never ceases to amaze me.  "If you're going to crawl through there, be careful.  There's a piece of… something sticking up.  Cut my arms," I say as I walk down the stairs.  He nods to me before turning away and going to one of the many computers lining the walls of the metal-paneled room.  I can already tell he's not listening to me anymore, already becoming engrossed in his thoughts.  Some people are like that, I guess.  They prefer to work alone.  I shake my head and leave the room, whispering, "good luck," before stepping out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hadn't realized how tired I was until I stepped out of the shower and lay down in the small bed my dingy room above the bar.  The blanket was thin and scratchy and the pillow smelled musty enough to remind me of that horrible crawlspace I'd so recently crawled through.  However, none of these things bother me.  I rest peacefully on the bed, drifting in and out of sleep and wearing a small smile of satisfaction.  I hope that everything is okay, that I've become the hero and saved the world.  I won't let it become too solid in my mind, though, until I'm certain I've been successful.

Knives shifts around in the bed next to mine, scratchy sheets making noise.  I open my eyes and watch him sleep quietly.  The blue light of the moon spills into the room, falling just short of his face and causing his profile to become illuminated, the dark side facing me.  His mouth parts as he releases a sigh and I smile.

My brother, who never ceases to amaze me.

"Why are you staring at me?"

My smile widens.  "If you were to die tomorrow, would you be satisfied with your life?"

He turns his head to me, finally opening his eyes.  I can barely see their bright outline staring directly into mine.  "What kind of a question is that?"

"I just want to know if you've been happy enough to die happily.  It worries me sometimes…"

"What?"

I close my eyes, not courageous enough to look into his eyes as I say this.  "I worry that you've never been able to love like I have.  Does it bother you?"

"No."  Bold, simple, and true, but I know immediately that there is more to be said about that.  I wait patiently.  "Would someone who didn't care about you go through all of the trouble I did to get you back?"

I open my eyes once more, smiling sadly.  "I can never love you that way.  You're my brother."

"I know."

He turns away from me then, and I hear his steady breathing for a moment.  I am almost asleep when he finally speaks again.  "You really care about Nicholai, don't you?"  It's more of a statement than a question.  I suppose he needs reassurance, a solid and unyielding affirmation.

"Yes."

"And you want him back?"  Another statement.

"Yes.  I want to see him again."

And that ends our conversation for the night.  I turn over and fall into a heavy sleep.  My dreams, such a rare occurrence, are pleasant.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Why are we going to the bar in the middle of the day?  I thought we were going to see Jason?"

Knives glances back at me, frowning angrily.  "Can't you stop asking stupid questions, for once?  I have a headache and I want a drink, alright?"

I kick at the ground as I walk, a rock splaying from my path.  "Why can't you go by yourself?"

"Shut up."  Knives stomps up the steps, a wooden plank creaking underneath his weight, and immediately goes through the doors.  I sigh and follow.

I blink wide eyes at the large crowd that has gathered in the room.  They're all staring at me.  Knives crosses his arms and smirks.  "What?"

"Surprise," Knives answers simply.  Streamers fill the air and fall onto my head.  I continue to stare at Knives as people gather around me and begin patting me on the back.

"What?"

"I talked to Jason this morning.  It seems that you solved the problem.  He's sent the message to other plant engineers and they are currently restoring power to every city on the planet."

"What??"

"Shut up and have a drink."

I'm confused, but I numbly walk to the bar and sit down, crossing my arms on the polished wood surface and staring at my hands.  It really worked?  I did something good for once?  The bartender stands in front of me, leaning against the other side of the bar and waiting for my order.  "Just… give me a glass of water or something," I say dispassionately, still trying to work through things in my mind.  It's rather pathetic that I would be confused as to why something actually went right in my life, isn't it?

"Oh, you can do better than that."

I jerk my head up at his voice, nearly jumping off of my chair in shock.  Smoky blue eyes and a smile on his lips, he winks at me and tilts his head slightly.  "Nicholai?" I gasp, in complete shock.  "What are you doing here?"

"Knives had some guy tie me up, throw me in the back of a truck, and drive me here."  I laugh frantically at that, disbelieving.  "I'm serious.  I was kind of pissed 'til I heard about what happened."  He leans toward me, face mere inches from my own.  I can feel his breath, an erotic and yearned-for sensation as he says, "I guess you're a hero again?"

I ignore the small crowd around us and the noise they make that seems to lessen, as if to allow my attentions to focus solely on him.  My lips part and I stare into his eyes, nearly feeling my entire body shutter at the simple fact that he's so close.  "…Guess so."  And then, as if it had never happened, he pulls away from me.  He blinks and averts his eyes.  The moment shatters and breaks apart, falling away from me.  In my mind I reach out for him, trying to convince him not to turn away.  I wish I could explain what it feels like to reach out for something that isn't there, that's too far away already.  It's a horrible, sinking, twisting feeling.

"I think we need to talk about some things, Vash."  His voice numbs me as it washes over my body so cold.  It almost hurts to hear.  I now know how my smile could cause Wolfwood so much pain.  I nod and look down, the mental anguish and apprehension draining too much from me to even assemble the strength to raise my head again.  "I can't explain to you why I killed that man, and even the situations are no excuse.  It doesn't make a difference anymore that he murdered my parents right in front of me, or killed my niece.  She was only six years old and was visiting us and that bastard…" he grits his teeth together and hisses the word, obviously battling with his own mind for emotional control.  "Well, he killed my niece to get to me, and that's why I never see my brother anymore."  His eyebrows knit together and he licks his lips.  I can see that tears are welling up in his eyes yet he refuses to let them fall.

And I… I lower my head, shocked and almost feeling the pain that he feels.  His reasons are even more justified than I had thought.  What would Rem do in this situation?  For the first time in my life, I feel like Rem's words are almost unimportant, too naïve to hold any meaning in a cruel world where revenge is necessary and yearned for so much and deserved.  Yet, Rem's ideals are now mine, I suppose.  Though not quite as rigid, I still hold firm to them.  "I understand now why you did it.  Either way, I forgive you, though.  Everyone I know has killed before.  I would never be able to get on with my life if I never forgave them," I raise my head and look into his eyes, admitting through the pain something that I'd hoped to never have to remember again, "or myself."

He closes his eyes and nods.  I can tell that he wants to say something, but thinks better of it.  Instead, he leans forward on the bar once again and tilts his head, eyes still red-rimmed from the previous conversation.  He smiles just a bit.  "Does this mean you forgive me?"

I smile back.  "I forgive you."

And there, in the middle of the bar with people all over the place, he grabs onto my hand and presses moistened lips to my own.  Instead of being embarrassed, though, I am elated and proud.  I press back against his lips and touch his face with my hand.  He tastes like vodka, cigarettes, and sugar.  Better than I remember.

Vaguely, my mind registers that someone in the room busts out laughing.  I pull back a bit and smile nervously.  Knives yells at the man to shut up and punches him so hard that he falls out of his chair.  I look around the room, which is a bit more solemn than it was before.  I can feel my face burning just a bit as a few people stare at me.  Finally, I knit my eyebrows together and pout, saying, "Why doesn't anyone ever ask the hero if he'd rather live happily ever after with the prince instead of the princess?"

"Start having a party, or you'll all feel as shitty as this guy," Knives threatens, pointing at the man still struggling to get up off of the floor.  Tense conversation fills the room.  I shake my head and look back at Nicholai.

"So, stranger, what'll it be?" he asks, smiling and picking up a glass.  He flips it up to his other hand and places it on the bar.

"The best stuff in the house.  This is a party, after all."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two Scotch Sours, a Whiskey Curacao Fizz, and nearly seven hours later, the bar is packed full.  Many people who have been here all afternoon have forgotten their original reason for being here.  New people arrived and joined the party, they too forgetting or never knowing what they are celebrating.  It suits me well, I suppose.  Nicholai and I are huddled together on the only couch in the room, a brown rust-colored thing with busted springs.  I'm not uncomfortable though, curled up beside him with my head resting on his chest.  I can't stop smiling either, as he turns and kisses the top of my head.

We seem like such the clichéd couple, curled together like this.  But, you know, I like it.  Sometimes it's good to be cliché.  It makes you feel average and normal for once.  Sometimes I need that.

"Nicholai?"

"Mm?"

"I wanted to tell you something."

"What?"

I take a moment to think, but with a sigh, continue.  "Just wanted to say that I love you."  It may be too early to say things like that and I don't know how he'll take it, but it doesn't matter now.  After losing Wolfwood, it was so hard for me to love again.  I almost tried not to.  Yet, it happened and it feels good, and I'm not going to hide it.  I'm going to fall in love whenever I can.

"Love you too," he says without hesitation, and I smile.

It was simpler than I thought it would be, no worries about rejection or a hurtful reaction.  I just said it, and he said it back, and five minutes later, the euphoria that I feel will only be a memory.  I guess I'll have to get him to say it again so that I can feel that good all the time.  Love really is a drug, isn't it?

Nicholai's hand rubs my arm a bit and I sit up, snagging my glass off of the table in front of us.  I pick the orange slice out of my cocktail (I've never been very fond of cocktails) and bite into it, sucking on the alcohol-flavored juice.  My eyes glance around the room lazily, wondering when this will get boring.  I look back at Nicholai, who is smirking just a bit.  I pull the orange slice out of my mouth.  "What?"

He grins before taking a sip of his own drink.  "I've been away from you for too long," he nearly whispers, eyebrows twitching upwards as he smirks.

I think I know what he's saying.  This whole party suddenly got very, very boring.

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A/N:  Last chapter coming up!  It's already clear in my mind.  Just need to type it up.  Oh, and… don't forget to stick around for the epilogue.  [Yes, this has an epilogue.  =)]