A/N - Okay, I know I promised a Quidditch match on the seventh, but I couldn't make it then. I just hope you found it entertaining.
Chapter 8: Flattened
Saturday, game day. It was 8:30 am sharp, and the game was scheduled for 10:00. The whole school was talking about the (early) upcoming match. Well, maybe not everybody…
"What do you think? Should I play the role of the princess or the Queen?" Celeste asked Chase in the girls' dormitory.
Chase had brought their breakfast to the room and was buttering a piece of toast. "I think you should shut up about that stupid play whenever you're talking to me," she answered in a bored tone. "Otherwise take the role of a lowly peasant, since you obviously need an ego deflation," she added sarcastically.
Celeste put her hands on her hips, her lips curling into a frown. "Honestly, Chase, I need an honest opinion here. You can't go walking around acting like Quidditch is the only worthy topic someone could talk about."
"I didn't mention that," Chase said calmly, handing Celeste a piece of toast and reaching for the next one. "I'm just saying that you can't expect to play the lead roles in the play on the spot. Besides, I did give you my honest opinion," she smirked. "A lowly peasant girl," she said slowly.
"I think the ugly, evil witch villain would suit her better," Lily said dryly as she walked by.
Chase snickered. "Harsh."
Celeste narrowed her eyes. Almost four weeks of not talking to her best friend and this was the first thing she said to break the silence? Telling her to her face that she was a cruel, repulsive hag? And what about Chase? Shouldn't she be supporting her instead of a thick-faced traitor? "If you ask me, I think you would fit perfectly for the part of a scrawny, thieving hobo in the script," she shot back curtly.
Lily smirked. "In that case, I'm glad I didn't ask you," she replied.
"Want some, Lil?" Chase asked, offering her a croissant.
Celeste glared at her sister.
"No thanks, I had some already," Lily responded politely.
"If you say so," Chase said with a shrug. "Anyway, I've gotta run. The team's supposed to practice for a few at nine sharp," she said, swinging off her bed and pulling out her broom under it.
"Nine? But it's still 8:30," Lily pointed out, holding out her watch.
Chase shrugged into her scarlet robes over her t-shirt and jeans. "Yeah, but Mark's a sergeant for punctuality," she answered wryly.
"That doesn't mean you're supposed to leave thirty minutes early," said Lily.
"I've got the feeling you're making me stay to help you with something," Chase said, eyeing her suspiciously.
Lily laughed. "I need you to help me choose what role to audition for in the play."
"Not that play again!" Chase exclaimed. Then she sighed. "Fine, if it means that much to you, you should probably try for the…" She looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "The girl who helps a group to find the kidnapped princess."
"Why that particular part?" asked Lily skeptically.
"Because," Chase started, "she's cool, she kicks butt, and she's the least fallacious character in the play," she finished, counting the reasons on her fingers.
"Okay, then I'll try for that part then," Lily said with a grin. "Thanks for officially persuading me."
"No problem. My other option was telling you that this play is highly irrational and totally out of the fairy-tale genre," Chase told her sardonically.
"Are you saying the production is just a big joke?" Celeste demanded.
"No," Chase replied, drawing the word out. "I mean, look at the cast! A helpless princess, an elegant queen, the inferior subjects, an evil witch that seeks destruction on a little kingdom. Come on! If you tell me there's a knight in shining armor and a dragon, then it's confirmed that this show is definitely, boringly predictable and preposterous."
Celeste threw up her hands. "I give up. There is absolutely no way to convince you that the plot is excellent and it is doubtlessly not the type of medieval fictional tale that little kids listen to. You're so caught up in your own world that you think anything outside of it is illogical and ridiculously erroneous!" She threw her script on the floor and stormed out of the room.
Lily watched her walk out, obviously amused of her petty outburst. "Just one question, O insensitive one."
"What, pray tell?" Chase answered cynically.
Lily took her copy of the play and walked out of the room, stopping at the doorway. "Have you seen the title?" She turned and went down the stairs.
Chase looked down at the bundle of parchment that Celeste had thrown to the floor. There, in bold calligraphy, was written: Warped to the Past: The Medieval Story.
*****
A clatter of footsteps was heard over at the girls' staircase. Remus covered his ears with his hands as he saw Celeste thunder past. Two minutes later, it was Lily. "Hey. Can we get some quiet over here?" he called out from his armchair.
"Sorry, Rem!" Lily said over her shoulder. "I just heard from Cas Black that there were some changes in the dialogue on scene 5 and 8!"
"And that's the cause of your racket?"
Celeste glanced at Lily and smiled condescendingly. "Maybe it's Lily's tendency to stomp about wherever she goes, but others are…more graceful and refined with their actions," she replied.
"Like you're refined in any way, Celeste," Lily retorted.
Celeste shook her head, causing her brown locks to cascade down her back. Remus guessed she practiced that at some point in front of her mirror for whenever she was talking to a guy. "At least I wouldn't have to worry then. There must be someone around who's less ethereal than me," she said, looking patronizingly at Lily. She exited the room.
Lily glowered at her frame as she left, then turned back to Remus. "Can you believe her?!" she fumed, plopping down on the chair next to Remus.
Remus only chuckled. "Judging from the fact that an exchange of insults is rarely impossible, yes," he quipped.
Lily scowled at him. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant her attitude. She is just so…"
"So what?" Remus pressed in a gentler voice. Seemed like Lil was in one of her bad moods. A mood you did not want to mess with.
"She's just so arrogant and irritating! Really, she was speaking in this patronizing tone, like I was a piece of dirt under her shoes or something. As if I was a six-year-old that she was far superior from! She's practically thinking that the whole world revolves around her, but in reality she's…"
Lily continued bad-mouthing and ranting about her ex-best friend while Remus tuned out. No use trying to break a word into whatever she was saying. She'd probably ream into him if he tried to reason with her.
Remus cleared his throat just as Lily was saying, "--egotistical, tactless, supercilious bitch, that's what she is."
"Um, Lil? If you were saying something about a change in the script, then you'd better get going if you don't want them to run out," he hedged.
Lily slapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh yeah! I totally forgot!" She ran to the portrait hole. As the Fat Lady swung open, she stopped. Remus shot her a curious glance as she looked back at him. "But they can just duplicate it magically!" she called out and came rambling back toward him.
My luck's probably running out, Remus thought glumly. This is going to be a long day…
*****
One hour and fifteen minutes later, Remus and Lily were making their way through the Gryffindor bleachers, looking for an empty space. They finally found one next to Cassiopeia and Emmett (unfortunately). Cas looked up at them from a stack of parchment that she was reading on her lap. "Remus and Lily! How nice to see you again!" she greeted them enthusiastically.
"Uh, you last saw us yesterday," Remus said, trying hard not to laugh.
Cas looked pleased. Emmett looked like he was trying hard to restrain himself from screaming. "It's just that I haven't gotten to chat with you since the first day of school," Cas explained to Remus.
"And that's important because…?" Remus prompted.
"Nothing. I just want to strengthen the bonds between the different-aged Gryffindors. There have been some problems with people from the same Houses arguing all the time. We have a hunch that some Slytherins have used a Brainwashing Hex on certain students, but that has yet to be confirmed correct." Cas shifted through her pile of papers, finally pulling out a bundle of sheets with a paperback cover. On the top was written Lily Evans, Fourth Year, Gryffindor House. It was the first time that Remus noticed that the stack was composed of several manuscripts of the school play.
"Here, Lily. I saved you a copy." Cas handed Lily her script. "I have removed all typographical errors and corrected the dialogue for various scenes," she announced. Remus stifled a laugh again. Leave it to Cas to milk it for all it's worth.
"Thanks," Lily said gratefully. "Couldn't you just, you know, duplicate these or something?" she added.
Cas's expression turned to one of shock. "Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "That's violating Rule 30 of the Official Rights of Wizarding Publishers. No official book, magazine, newspaper, script or any other reading article is to be duplicated or copied in mass amounts without written or personal permission from the proper authorities."
"Yeah, but this isn't exactly official, Cas," Lily pointed out.
Cas shook her head. "Yes, it is. The school is one of the largest wizarding places in Britain, therefore any publishing intended for the use of the students is considered official. We would need Professor Dumbledore's permission to emit consent to use the Reiteration Charm on the booklets."
Lily sighed in frustration. "Then why don't you ask him?"
"He is currently at the International Wizards' Convention representing the largest wizarding school in the world," Cas informed her.
"Then why don't you send an owl to him?" Remus asked.
Cas was starting to get annoyed. "Because, it is a very important meeting discussing the wizards' current issues in the world, and it is by law that no wizard, unless in a serious world emergency, is permitted to send an owl and interrupt the conference!" she said impatiently as if this was the most obvious answer.
"Well, excuse me for not memorizing the International Wizarding Constitution," Remus muttered to Lily when Cas was talking to Emmett.
"I wonder how Sirius copes with her at home?" Lily whispered.
"Probably sticks earplugs in his ears whenever she's in the same room with him," Remus said with a sardonic smile.
The two of them laughed out loud. Cas shot them a look. "You wouldn't be laughing like that if you knew the most recent issue that the Ministry has to face. The stock exchange for wizards worldwide is a sham, and…"
Her voice was drowned out by a wave of cheers from the Gryffindors. Malachi Duncan's voice magnified across the whole stadium as he called out the names of the Gryffindor team.
"First up, the captain ball of the Lions, Mark Conroy!" Malachi yelled. Another scream of encouragement from their side of the bleachers.
"Yep, looks like Mark has built a pretty fine bunch for us this year. There go Erin Sinclair, Chase Tarlise, James Potter, Dione Ulysses and Sirius Black. Keith Gene, one of their Chasers, is currently confined in the hospital wing because of a recent injury. Looks like Gunther Wallace has come to take his place this early start of the season."
The Gryffindors clapped and shouted. Banners went up, with phrases such as: 'Lions Rule!' and 'Slytherins Slither in Defeat'. Boos and thumbs-down signs were the responses of the green-clad supporters. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, though, were leaning on the Gryffindors' win.
Professor McGonagall, as usual, was watching over the commentary. Malachi seemed the most appropriate for the job but she still didn't know how unbiased he really was. "The players start to mount their brooms as Madame Hooch gives the signal--"
"Duncan, aren't you forgetting something?" Professor McGonagall interrupted.
Malachi seemed deep in thought for a moment. Then his eyes lit up. "Oh yeah! Our usual referee, Professor Thierry, has retired and left his job to Madame Hooch--"
"Not that, Duncan!" More boos from the Slytherins (Malachi was a Gryffindor).
"Okay! The referee is starting to release the four balls--"
"DUNCAN!!! DON"T START THE GAME PROPER UNTIL YOU INTRODUCE THE SLYTHERIN TEAM!!!"
Recognition (and disappointment) set in Malachi's eyes. "Oh, that! I forgot all about it." The Slytherins (literally) hissed at him.
"Curtis, Preston, Tavia, Zacharias, Burleigh, Denzell and Curtis," Malachi said hastily. "And there goes the whistle! The players shoot into the air. Denzell catches the Quaffle--" groans from three-fourths of the crowd; cheers from the rest "--he passes to Zacharias and--Wallace intercepts the ball! A show of talent from the Gryffindor reserve…"
*****
James looked bored. He'd been staring around the field for five minutes now and he still hadn't caught sight of the Snitch. From Malachi Duncan's commentating, though, it looked like things were getting tough.
"--and another excellent blow from Ulysses, looks like this game is turning out to be in Gryffindors' favor, 40-0" Malachi was saying.
Catcalls erupted from the Slytherin fans. They had become more restless each time the Gryffindors scored a goal.
"Burleigh catches the Quaffle--passes to Zacharias, then to Denzell. A Bludger comes from out of nowhere and--Tarlise steals the ball! Excellent flying and passing going on there, courtesy of the Gryffindor Chasers. Tavia swings the Bludger at Tarlise, Tarlise dodges and shoots, no, fakes a shot, and Denzell falls for it. Pass to Conroy--then Wallace--back to Tarlise and--Tarlise shoots! Looks like the Slytherin Keeper's taking a little nap…" More boos, drowned out by applause from the high-spirited red-clad fans.
James sighed and kept staring around for the golden ball. A flash of light caught his eyes suddenly, and just as he was preparing to dive, he stopped abruptly. It was just Chase's trademark silver chain around her neck. False alarm.
Back downfield…
"Wallace drops the Quaffle! Who swung at that Bludger…?" A cheer, for the first time in the game, emitted from the Slytherins. Sirius held his club with both hands, looking sheepish.
James exhaled sharply and flew toward them for a closer look. It seemed that Sirius (again) swung a Bludger at one of their teammates instead of the opposition. Shaking his head, he flew back to his post a few feet above the other players.
"Burleigh passes to Denzell, marked by Conroy, Denzell attempts a shoot--Conroy swats the ball! Burleigh swoops down for the catch--OUCH! gets hit by a Bludger on the forehead--Tarlise and Zacharias neck and neck to claim the Quaffle, WHAM! Black finally sets it right and hits the Bludger at Zacharias! Zacharias swerves, the Bludger passes him and--wait a minute! There's the other Bludger, coming out of nowhere, and it rams into Zacharias's stomach! Doesn't look too serious, but then again, he better be puking his guts out if he had any food before this match--"
"No side comments, Duncan!" Professor McGonagall said in an exasperated voice.
"Fine, fine. Slytherin in possession," Malachi continued, sounding bored. "Burleigh shoots, but he probably wouldn't get the Quaffle in even if he was an inch from the hoop--" The Slytherins started yelling at him and waved their wands threateningly. Malachi ignored them. "--and, of course, Sinclair blocks it, Burleigh's moves are quite easy to read, no doubt--"
"Duncan!"
"And it's Gryffindor in possession, with Tarlise handling the Quaffle. Look out for that Bludg…! She dodges it! Terrific flying tactics! Pass to Wallace, Wallace shoo--nope, eludes a Bludger from Tavia, Tavia misses, no, it hit him on the shoulder and he drops the ball…Denzell swoops underneath and catches it speeding toward the goalposts now…c'mon, Erin, show him what a Keeper's made of…!"
A groan came from the Gryffindor side. Malachi carried on with the commentary unenthusiastically, "Denzell's shot went in, though it was probably just luck….no, I meant their luck is increasing, Professor… Couldn't take a joke, could you? Uh-huh, Gryffindor in possession, Slytherin Chasers on defense and, HEY, THAT'S A FOUL!!!" The Gryffindors gave a huge gasp. Cheers (from the Slytherins) and tokens of yelling protest (from the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) ensued.
As James looked on, Mark had held the Quaffle and was guarded by Zacharias, but Denzell, who was marking Gunther, left his post and deliberately crashed into Mark, knocking him off his broom in the process. Mark hung onto his broom with two hands and therefore released his grip on the Quaffle, whereas Burleigh caught it beneath him and flew off to the Slytherin end.
"Foul! Foul!" The Gryffindors yelled furiously, and sure enough, there came a shrill whistle that signaled a foul.
"Penalty to Gryffindor!" Madame Hooch shouted just as furiously.
This time the Slytherins protested, including the Slytherin players. Another whistle issued from Madame Hooch and she shouted, "Two penalties to Gryffindor!"
The Gryffindors cheered. "And there's the second whistle signaling a technical foul of misconduct!" Malachi shouted happily. Mark came forward to take the first shot. It went through.
"Curtis goofs again!" Malachi yelled, but a look of stern disapproval from Professor McGonagall silenced him. "Right, the Slytherin Keeper fails to block the shot, but that can happen to anyone, I'm sure," he added quickly. "Next is Tarlise, and I'm sure she's gonna make this one… Yes! Curtis can't catch it! 60-10 to Gryffindor!"
The Slytherins didn't look particularly happy now as they stared at the scoreboard, more so as they glanced at the Gryffindor banners. Some of them had changed their messages to 'Slytherin Serpents Suck,' 'The Living Proof that Snakes are Cross-eyed' and 'Gryffindors = 99% Skill, 1% Effort, Slytherins = 100% Stupidity and Lack of Capacity.' The enraged Slytherins started sending sparks to the Gryffindor banners, but the Gryffindors, not to be outdone, cast shields on the posters (and themselves). Professor McGonagall was furious with the Slytherins and yelled "One hundred points from Slytherin!" into Malachi's megaphone.
The Gryffindors were delighted. The Slytherins slumped down on their seats and silently plotted evil ways of getting revenge at the Gryffindors undetected.
Back to the game, Chase scored another goal. "And the Quaffle goes in! So far, Tarlise has scored 40 of the 70 points the Lions have made! The Gryffindors are playing superbly, superbly indeed! Denzell with the Quaffle, he's speeding nearer to the goal--A Bludger goes his way from Black and smashes his nose! Ha! That's what he gets for fouling a Chaser!"
"Bias, Duncan, bias!" Professor McGonagall scolded him.
"Sorry Professor, couldn't help it…Slytherin in possession--still no sign of the Snitch, James?--Zacharias passes, too short! Conroy swipes the ball, passes to Wallace, he shoots, Curtis blocks it, Tarlise catches the Quaffle, guarded by Denzell, looks like a fake--shoot! Denzell thought it was a fake and the shot went through! 80-10 to Gryffindor!"
James was bored out of his wits. Usually he could find the Snitch in seven minutes or less, but the game had been going on for fifteen minutes now and-- Wait a minute! A Bludger whizzed past, and alongside it was…the Snitch!
Quickly, James scanned the area for Maximillian, and found him loitering around at the other end of the field…
Not wasting any time, James made sure that Malachi wouldn't comment about any of his movements. The whole crowd was probably too engrossed with the goal-scoring that they paid no heed to James. He stared intently at the Snitch and found out the trick. It was hiding behind that Bludger all along! The Beaters were too concentrated to hitting it away that they couldn't see the Snitch…and James couldn't see it because he was too busy trying to dodge the Bludgers and steering out of their way!
He loped (nonchalantly) toward Sirius and he came close enough that they were practically side by side. "Any luck yet, Jamie boy?" Sirius asked him, looking slightly surprised that he was down there and not looking for the Snitch.
"Listen, Sirius, when you see a Bludger, hit it at me, okay? Don't ask any questions," he added as Sirius opened his mouth to ask him why. He flew back to his post and waited. Sirius shrugged his shoulders and chased after a Bludger. He hit it hard, and it rocketed toward James, giving a faint luster at it headed toward the direction of the sun.
"What's this? Sirius, you're not supposed to hit the Bludgers at your teammates, how many times do we have to tell you?!" Malachi said. Sirius scowled at him. "Black goes back to his usual tactic of hitting the Bludger randomly at anyone close enough to be an easy target--" Malachi's eyes widened. "Hey! What's Potter up to?!"
But James ignored the commentary. It was a stroke of luck; Sirius had hit the right Bludger at him. Just as it was about to strike, James rolled over in the air (kind of hard if he's on a broomstick) and dodged it, but not before extending his hand for a brief second and latching at the Snitch.
"And Potter finally goes into action, but that's just a Bludger so--wait a second, he's reaching for something right next to the Bludger before dodging it! Could it be--?"
James held up his hand triumphantly.
"Unless I'm mistaken, that's the Potter signal that he…HE CAUGHT THE SNITCH!"
The stadium practically shook as three-fourths of the spectators cheered and shouted at the top of their lungs. The Slytherins looked stunned. Meanwhile Malachi was happily announcing the score, "230-10! I can't believe it! Ha! In your face, you conniving, bastardly Slytherins!" The Slytherin team had a common look on their faces, the one that they always directed at James every time they played against Gryffindor and lost (and to Malachi too, since he was making their defeat worse).
For once, Professor McGonagall didn't shout at Malachi for his rudeness. She ran downfield, toward the Gryffindor team that was landing amid friends and fellow Gryffindors.
Remus and Lily made their way to their friends. "All right, you guys! You sure kicked butt!" Remus congratulated Sirius and James energetically. Lily was hugging Chase. "Great playing!" she told her.
At the corner of her eye, she saw Celeste coming toward them. Just as she broke away from Chase, Sirius yelled, "Let's PARTY!!!" Which was, of course, what he always said every time the Gryffindors won. He practically owned the phrase.
*****
The common room was bursting with colorful balloons, streamers, and confetti that never seemed to cease falling from the ceiling. Free Droobles Best Blowing Gum and Chocolate Frogs were showered upon the partying students that crowded the room. As usual, a downpour of fireworks bounced all around them, but this time the donators made sure the whole lot was flameproof and anti-shock so that they veered to another direction every time they came close to colliding with a person or the buffet table that the seventh years conjured. An assortment of sweets that some people had given for free and a majority of the food on the table that the marauders nicked from the kitchen was spread out for everybody.
Sirius was pigging out in front of the buffet after a whole hour of dancing. He was also consuming way too much butterbeer, too much that even if butterbeer is non-alcoholic, his eyes were already glazed over and his movements were unstable. James spotted him and dragged him to the boys' staircase.
"Yo, Sirius, I think you better take a little break from the butterbeer," James shouted to be heard over the blaring music that mysteriously pounded out of the walls. He took away the half-full bottle that Sirius was still holding.
"What are you talking about? I've just had three teeny bottles," Sirius protested, trying to snatch the bottle back.
"Right. More like three gallons," James scoffed. "C'mon, let's go back to the dormitory."
"But it's still 4:00 p.m.," Sirius said.
James rolled his eyes. "It's almost ten, Sirius," he informed, pointing at his watch. Though Sirius probably couldn't read it after all those drinks.
"Let's just stay for five more minutes," Sirius begged.
"No way," James said firmly. "You reek of butterbeer, and you need to take a shower and brush your teeth if you don't want to smell like a distillery all night."
"I'm okay with that," Sirius reasoned, but James just rolled his eyes again.
"Don't you think Celeste Schoharie will find you a total turnoff if she sees you like this?" James asked impatiently, trying a different move.
"No. And she's too busy practicing for her audition to party all night, so she's not here." Sirius successfully snatched the bottle from James's hands and drank a big gulp.
"Sirius!" James yelled.
"You're not the boss of me," Sirius said in an indistinct way, as if he didn't know who he was talking to.
"You sound like a four-year-old," James commented, annoyed.
"Nooo…I…doon't…" Sirius started to say, but his head rolled back and he fell sound asleep.
James sighed. Oh well. At least it'd be easier this way.
*****
Remus found his two friends sitting down by the stairs. That's weird, he thought. Considering Sirius is usually the last one leaving the dance floor after every party.
As he came closer, he noticed that Sirius was on the verge of falling asleep and James was on the verge of screaming his lungs out. Remus smirked. Most likely Sirius's doing.
"Hey, guys," Remus greeted. He plopped down on the third step.
"Try saying, 'Hey, James,' since Party Guy over here dozed off after consuming thirty-one bottles of butterbeer," James answered dryly.
Remus chuckled. "That's going too far," he remarked lightly.
"Whatever. Now, get out of the way so I can put the Levitation Charm on him."
"As you wish, master," Remus quipped, leaning on the banister to make a clear path.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" James yelled, pointing his wand at Sirius. Sirius floated four feet above the ground, horizontal.
"There. That should do it," James said.
"But if he keeps on going up, he's gonna knock his head on the walls or a higher step since the stairs are spiral," Remus pointed out.
"Let him knock his head where he wants," James said. "He's still going to have a major hangover after this, whichever the case."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Try letting him float vertically, then, stupid," he suggested sarcastically.
James slapped his hand to his forehead. "I knew that," he said quickly. He waved his wand around a bit and Sirius reverted to a standing pose.
The three friends climbed up the stairs to the dormitory, Sirius's head bumping into the steps above since he was floating so high.
Fortunately the dormitory was already close at hand. James opened the door, but he didn't come in.
"What's the holdup?" Remus said, trying to peer over James's shoulder.
"What are you two doing here?" James exclaimed. Then, remembering Sirius and Remus, he fell back and let them pass.
Lily and Chase were perched on the edge of Sirius's bed, each holding a copy of the play.
"What are you doing here?" Remus exclaimed.
"I think James already asked that," Chase said wryly.
"Yeah, but girls aren't allowed here, you know," Remus said.
"Yeah, we know," Chase responded. "We just wanted to get away from people who think that makeovers and hairstyles and nightgowns make up a party, find low-calorie snacks the best food they can eat, and take idiotic quizzes on irrational multiple-choice questions in fashion magazines about how to attract guys seriously," she finished in pretty much one breath.
"In other words, the girls' dormitory," Lily supplied.
"Oh," James and Remus said in unison.
"What happened to this guy?" Chase asked, tapping her booklet against Sirius's forehead.
James let out a low whistle. "Drank too much butterbeer," he explained.
"Okay," Chase said slowly.
"Why do you ask?" Remus said suspiciously.
"Because. He stinks, he's sweaty and he's in serious need of a shower," Chase answered with a smirk.
"Ah," Remus nodded. "Bring out the bad points first."
"I actually thought you were concerned," Lily commented.
"Sorry to disappoint," Chase said with a shrug, popping a stick of gum into her mouth. "Want one?" she asked to the three of them, holding out the packet.
"Glad to, but would you get off Sirius's bed first?" Remus said.
Without waiting for an answer, Remus and James heaved their friend onto the bed. The two girls jumped off abruptly.
"You could have at least warned us before throwing him on the bed," Lily complained, rubbing a bruise on her knee. She had bumped it on the foot of James's bed when she dodged Sirius.
"What's done is done. What are you two working on, anyway?" James inquired.
Lily rolled her eyes. "If you knew how to read, you'd know that we're practicing for the auditions."
"Chase is going to audition?" Remus asked in disbelief.
"No, she's just reading out the part of another character," Lily corrected. "Hey, I know! Why don't you two read parts for us?"
James pushed the copy away. "No way. You're not gonna make me act out a part on that dumb scene."
Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "You're just going to read it aloud, Mr. Spock. Is there any reason why you don't think you can't speak and read properly?"
"Of course there is. I have severe tonsillitis and my tongue's all swollen," James said in a raspy voice, clutching his throat and sticking his tongue out like a dog.
"Hilarious antics," Chase observed. "You can pass as the royal Labrador."
"And that's the only part he's fit for," Remus said with a laugh. James scowled at him.
"Whatever. Now, if the royal dog doesn't want to read, then you should do, Rem," Lily said. She handed him a spare copy.
"Oookay. Which one should I read out?" Remus asked.
Lily inspected the page. "Try Jabez, the village deputy," she said. "Chase will read out Alexia's part."
Remus cleared his throat. "Bad news, girls. We just found out that the princess is held captive in Demi Murthion."
"You mean, the dead country?" Chase asked.
"'Fraid so," Remus replied.
"There must be some way to stop them!" Lily said dramatically. Chase laughed.
"What?" Lily demanded.
"That is so the wrong word to emphasize," Chase remarked.
"Well, it's so my audition," Lily shot back. Chase only laughed harder.
"Let's just try it again," Remus said.
"Okay," Chase nodded.
"Bad news, girls. We just found out that the princess is held captive in Demi Murthion."
"You mean, the dead country?" read Chase.
"'Fraid so," Remus responded.
"There must be some way to stop them!" Lily exclaimed.
Chase burst out laughing.
"What now?" Lily said, looking a little annoyed.
"You're not supposed to say it in a cheerful tone," Chase stated.
"I wasn't saying it that way," Lily retorted impatiently.
"Cut! Take two," James shouted, slicing a hand through the air.
"Who are you supposed to be?" Remus asked him.
"The director," James replied.
"Funny. I thought you had severe tonsillitis and a really swollen tongue," said Lily.
"It's better now," James said innocently.
"Right. Maybe you should practice your line first, Lil," Chase suggested.
"Sure." Lily coughed. "There must be some way to--"
Chase let out a snort.
"Fine, if you're so good, why don't you try it?" Lily asked, irritated.
"Piece of cake," Chase countered. "There must be some way to stop them," she said in an urgent tone.
"Bravo!" James cheered.
"Man. You should try out for the play," Remus commented.
"Blah, blah, blah. I can do better than that." Lily stood up.
"Let 'er rip," Chase said with a smirk.
"There must be--"
"Nope." Chase shook her head.
"There must be some way--"
"Not even close."
"There must be--"
"Nuh-uh."
"There must be some--"
"There must be some way to make you shut up," Remus said.
Lily glared at him. "There must be some way to--"
"Negative," Chase interrupted, looking amused.
"There must be some way to--"
Martin opened the door. "No girls allowed here. Scram," he told them.
"There is a god!" Remus cheered.
*****