Chapter 9: The Cynic Speaks

Chase was lying on her stomach on her bed, writing an extra-long essay for Ancient Runes when Lily burst into the room.

"Yes! Yes! I did it!" Lily yelled happily, waving a sheet of paper into the air. She bounced up to Chase and shook her shoulders, causing Chase to draw a jagged line down the parchment.

"What did you do that for?" Chase asked, tracing the tip of her wand on the offending line and erasing it.

"Aren't you going to ask what great thing just happened today?" Lily asked giddily, rolling back and forth on the balls of her feet.

Chase shrugged her shoulders wearily. "Nah. Aside from Sirius's most recent 'accident' of sending Professor Flitwick flying to the ceiling and sending him to the hospital wing with reports of a serious concussion, I think there's nothing else interesting worth mentioning about this day," she said sarcastically, returning her attention on her homework.

"Oh, please," Lily said, lightly punching her friend on the shoulder and again causing her to make a crooked line where an 'h' should have been.

"What is with you today?" Chase exclaimed, rolling her eyes and correcting it with her wand again. "You're acting way too hyper-cheerful, considering the fact that we've been given eight long essays to submit tomorrow and a ton of reading for Binns."

"Being studiously aware of homework doesn't suit you, Ms. Cynic." Lily shook her head, a grin still plastered on her face.

"Like I haven't been on the honor roll since first year, Lil," Chase shot back.

Lily was still smiling. "A little fun now and then never hurt anyone."

"Oh? I don't actually think that getting whacked and annoyed by my unusually cheerful friend is something you would define fun," Chase answered dryly.

Lily laughed while Chase shook her head. "I'm just in a great mood! Now, if you'll just listen--"

Chase sat up suddenly and felt Lily's forehead. "You don't feel warm…" she said with a smirk.

"Ha, ha, ha," Lily replied, though she couldn't have rolled her eyes if she tried.

"Seriously, though, did you eat some kind of reverse-personality pill from your friends lately?" Chase inquired in a mock concerned voice.

Lily just smiled. Irritatingly so. "No, if it's that important to you," she said simply.

Chase shook her head slowly. "Whatever you say." She lowered her pen into the ink bottle.

Lily knocked her wrist over and the ink spread all over the bed, creating a huge, black stain on the blanket and Chase's essay. Chase jumped off the bed in an instant.

"Lily!" she shouted exasperatedly. "Are you trying to irritate me out of my wits, or is this just the usual way you behave when you're overly-giddy?!"

Lily skipped over to her own, ink-free bed. Skipped. Was the girl losing it or something?

"Okay, I'm sorry," Lily said sincerely sitting cross-legged on her bed, one leg swinging back and forth.

Chase, who was racking her brain for an appropriate spell to clean up this mess, didn't answer. "What charm was that again? Franzel's gonna kill me, and I was halfway through his stupid essay about gauntlets and mithril already…"

Lily cleared her throat. "Aren't you ever going to ask what happened today?" she pressed, accidentally kicking Chase's ankle as she swung her leg.

"Now you're adding physical injury to the list," Chase said, wincing as she rubbed at the sore spot on her ankle. "Well, if it'll make you shut up and act like yourself…What?"

Lily nodded, her long, red pony-tailed hair bobbing up and down. "I got the role!" she announced triumphantly.

"Good for you," Chase responded unenthusiastically, finally coming up with the right spell and twirling her wand around like crazy.

"You know, the one you recommended? The detective girl who got sucked into the time warp and helped solve the case of the kidnapped princess?" Lily continued.

"Uh-huh. What are you so happy for, anyway? The plot's lame, the characters are lame, and if you're not going to stop blathering about lame stuff, I'm going to disown you for being a lame ex-best friend," Chase answered, concentrating hard on the ink blob.

Lily drummed her fingers on the side of her bed. "You can insult the production all you want, but I still got the part. And you advised me to go for it," she reminded. Not even her friend's negativity would ruin her good mood.

"It was the least superficial part in the whole play, and if you had any sense you wouldn't have auditioned for it in the first place," Chase said.

"Then why did you help me practice?" Lily asked shrewdly.

Chase rolled her eyes. Amazing that they didn't roll right out of her head. "You practically threatened me to help you, remember?"

"But I got the part anyway."

"So?"

"In your face!" Lily exclaimed, pointing her index finger at her friend.

"Like I care," Chase retorted, a half-smile on her face. Sometimes Lily was just way too weird, it was amusing.

"Well, all that matters is that I got the lead role, not Celeste I'm-ready-for-my-close-up-studio-pic Schoharie," Lily pointed out dominantly.

"Interesting alias," Chase said with a smirk. "Now, if you'd only tell me what role my dearest sister did ge--"

Her words were cut off by a loud bang that came from the general direction of the doorway. The impact was so strong that their four-poster beds shook.

Standing in the middle of the doorway, breathless but perfectly groomed except for her flushed, angry face, was Celeste Schoharie.

*****

"Speak of the devil," Lily grumbled. Her happy state had completely dissolved. Leave it to Celeste Schoharie to kill her good mood.

Celeste walked briskly toward them. Chase sighed, closed the textbook that she was currently reading, and vaguely muttered something that sounded like "Why do I bother?"

"Can you believe what Cassiopeia Black and all those other role-picking freaks just did?" she seethed, plopping down on Chase's bed and conveniently ignoring the fact that Lily was sitting directly in front of her. Lily slid a few inches so she faced Chase, who had given up studying altogether.

"Well, if you consider that Cas Black is the most sensible student in this school and would obviously become the next Head Girl once the next school year starts, I can believe it," Chase said wryly. Lily leaned over and pulled out one of Chase's old sketchbooks that cluttered the bottom of her bed.

"Chase, please!" Celeste said in an annoyed tone, her almond-shaped blue eyes rolling and her slender hands on her slim hips. "This is not the time for your sarcastic jokes."

Chase nodded. "Ma'am, yes, ma'am," she said sarcastically.

"The new issue begins," Lily said under her breath, flipping over a page in the sketchbook and looking closely at a Chase caricature drawing. She traced her finger over the bold outline. Funny. Chase was known throughout the whole school as an artist, but half of her individual works were all black and white.

Celeste threw a quick glare at her, confirming the fact that she had spoken loud enough for the girl to hear. Suddenly the answer clicked. Celeste was the one responsible of coloring the sketches. Chase could well have done the whole thing herself, but she just had to let her sister do half of the colors. Maybe it was some deep way of sharing their sisterhood.

"Why are you acting so weird today?" Chase was saying when Lily listened in again. "It's like you're possessed or something."

"Yeah. By the spirit of a deranged lunatic," Lily added, snickering.

Celeste glowered at her. "Did you hear something, Chase?" she said loudly.

Chase shrugged. "Sure did. Lily said--"

"Why can't you get the hint?" Celeste snapped.

Chase looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answers as to why her friend and her sister were going crazy today. "Ookay," she said slowly, drawing out the word. "Let's just get to the point, then. No bull."

Celeste took a deep breath. "That would be wise," she muttered.

"Right. What are you so upset about?" Chase started.

"It's this!" Celeste said in a disgusted voice, slapping a piece of parchment that was obviously torn from a big one into Chase's palm.

Chase unfolded the paper. "We, the role-picking committee, Professor Sibyll Trelawney (the head director), and Cassiopeia Black (the student director) are happy to announce that you, Celeste Shaina Schoharie have been chosen as one of the most important characters. Through careful judging and fair grading of ability, we have accepted you to take the role of Septima the Dark Mage. She is the mastermind behind Princess Alzena's abduction, and lives in the faraway country of Demi Murthion, confining the princess in the dreaded Tower of Holocaust. This role is of utmost importance to our production. We would like to acknowledge your superb talent, and we remind you that it is a privilege to be able to be accepted in this first official attempt for a Hogwarts play. We believe your stage presence is of the best quality we've seen so far, and we sincerely hope that you will apply it to all of our future rehearsals.

"The rehearsal proper begins next Tuesday. For the upcoming weeks before December's last, we shall have practices every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at 3:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Students included in the production are permitted to leave their classes at 3:00 to get ready for rehearsals. Mindful of these schedules, you need not hand in assignments that have been given in your absence, but you shall still have to take several short quizzes and the final exams for your grades. We believe that you are practical enough to manage your time and balance academics with this major activity. Should you think that you cannot perform both at once, we will understand if you do not desire to enter the play. Please notify us by October 23 for your decision. On the next page is the schedule, including three dress rehearsals and one General Rehearsal on the last day. We shall present our accomplishments on Christmas Eve at 11:00 p.m." Chase read aloud. "That isn't so bad," she remarked. "I mean, at least you don't have to take all the bad ones like Potions and half the classes in Divination--"

"That's not what I meant!" Celeste screamed at her, swiping the parchment back and refolding it.

Lily stifled a giggle. Chase shot her a look that clearly said, "Don't push it. This could get nasty." Lily complied. But it sure took great effort not to laugh out loud. Just another reason as to why she deserved to be in the play.

"What is wrong with you?!" Celeste ranted on when Chase didn't say anything. "Don't you understand what this means? What horrendous act they unjustly punished me with?"

Lily snorted.

Chase smirked. "Horrendous act? Unjustly punished you? What did you do, hide someone else's costume while they were auditioning or something?"

Celeste's face turned a deeper shade of red. "You are so clueless," she whispered in a deadly tone, her voice dripping with abhorrence and disgust.

Chase backed up a little. "Jeez, sis, just because you didn't get the role you wanted doesn't mean that you can get all high and mighty," she said exasperatedly. "I mean, what's the big deal?"

"THE BIG DEAL IS THAT THEY CHOSE ME TO PLAY THE ROLE OF AN INSANELY UGLY, WART-FACED, CACKLING MORON OF A WITCH!!!" Celeste shouted furiously. A nearby vase burst into a million pieces, and a picture frame of Sylvia cracked into half.

Lily burst out laughing. "In case you haven't noticed, you are a witch," she deadpanned.

"And you just about insulted the whole female population of our world with your spiteful comment," Chase added, smiling amusedly.

Celeste stared at her twin in disbelief, and gave Lily an ultimate glare of hate. She stood up abruptly, shoving the note into her little blue bag. "Fine! If all you can do is insult your own sister, and…and bond with the enemy, I don't even know what I came here for!" she said angrily, her voice shaking with rage.

"Bond with the enemy?" Chase laughed. "Celes, I think that's going too far."

Lily could practically see the steam shooting out of Celeste's ears. "I thought," Celeste said in a low voice, "that my twin would be there for me. That she would be sympathetic. I thought she could do it just this once and leave her sarcasm for another day. I guess I was wrong." With that, she whirled around and stalked out the open door, letting it slam magically behind her.

As soon as she left, Lily started chuckling again. "Don't you understand what this means? What horrendous act they unjustly punished me with?" Lily mimicked in a high-pitched voice before rolling off her bed and clutching her stomach in fits of boisterous laughter.

"It wasn't that bad," Chase commented. "I mean, you know how Celes can be when she's mad."

"She deserves it," Lily gasped out, her head reappearing on the side of her bed. "She deserves what she got."

"What exactly did she try out for?" Chase wondered aloud.

Lily smiled smugly. "Princess Alzena," she said with a smirk.

Chase's eyes widened. "Not the helpless maiden?" she said in mock horror. "What crazed idea was she thinking of?"

"Don't be so surprised, oh wise one. Besides, a villain would suit her better," Lily remarked gleefully. "But if she dropped out of the play, it would be better," she added ruefully.

A strange, almost sad expression dawned on Chase's face, but it was gone so quickly that Lily wondered if she just imagined it. "Don't be so cruel. She is my sister, after all," Chase replied, her half-smile returning.

"Okay," Lily said slowly, looking at her friend's face. No sign of sorrow there. Weird. A silence fell over the two of them, and Lily decided to ease the mood a bit. "It was good enough that the two of us saw her like that, but having Sirius and James here would be even better."

Chase raised her eyebrows. "Oh? So now you're setting her up for public ridicule?"

Lily smirked. "Partly, yes. But Sirius would be totally turned off once he sees the object of his infatuation acting like the Drama Queen that Time Forgot, and Celeste would be so mortified if James saw her that she wouldn't have a chance with him."

Again, there came a strange look on Chase. But this time, it wasn't of sorrow. It was an emotion (or lack of emotion, in Chase's standards), but Lily couldn't quite place it. She had a feeling that whatever it meant wasn't good. "Reasonable," Chase nodded. "But is there any other reason as to why you mentioned your friends?"

Lily was caught off guard. "We-ell, I just don't want them mixing with a bitch like that," she defended.

Chase gave her a look that said, "Yeah right."

"What? What do you want me to say?" Lily exclaimed.

"Maybe you're implying that you like a certain someone that you just mentioned," Chase said abruptly.

Lily froze with fear, but suddenly she laughed. "What are you talking about? You mean James?"

Chase shrugged. That was the Tarlise code of "Yeah, so?"

"I don't like him!" Lily said loudly between a fit of giggles. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about the fact that you and Celes argued about him almost two months ago and stopped all forms of friendly communication since then," Chase pointed out.

"That? I was only pointing out the obvious reasons why James Potter is not dating material," Lily said. "I mean, he's gross and rude and a sexist idiot--"

"And you like him," Chase interjected. "I don't know why you just can't tell me that."

Lily analyzed her friend's features. Chase looked serious. Determined, even.

"Come on, Lily, I know you better than that. You can't deny what you yourself already know. Or maybe you just don't want to admit it?"

Lily restrained herself from dropping her friend's gaze. But she blinked first.

That was enough for Chase. "Get it on with, Lil," Chase said, shaking her head. "It's never too late to do what you have to do."

"But--I really don't…" Lily sighed. How could she explain this to a person who already knew everything?

"Uh-huh. Whatever reason you come up with, it's not good enough to persuade me. So you might as well give up." Chase picked up her books and materials and shoved them into a backpack. "Anyway, gotta go. There's some stuff I need to do, one of which is to calm a psychotic lunatic who's going to end up in a mental institute if I don't find her ASAP. Ciao." Chase lifted her chin at her and walked out of the room, her loaded-down bag bouncing as she retreated down the stairs.

Lily stared out the doorway long after she had gone. Slowly, she took out her wand and pointed it at the door, immediately shutting it and drowning out the noise of the common room below. That left her to her unorganized, irrational thoughts.

There was something about Chase that made all her words hit you hard. It was one thing that Lily never found out the reason of, one thing that always left her wondering what her impossibly unreadable friend would do. Casting the thought aside, she let her mind drift back to the past, back when Lily was still known as 'that red-haired Muggle-born witch.' She couldn't forget the time when Chase made friends with her when she couldn't recognize anybody and no one bothered to know anything about her. She could still clearly see the times when she was more than a little crazed, more than a little confused. She imagined herself then, miserably failing to persuade Chase of believing the untruths, watching Chase shake her head and calmly tell her that she knew what was going on and there was no way that Lily could just deny it. She saw an eleven-year-old, long-brown-haired girl striding out of the room, stopping for only a brief second in the doorway to say something to Lily that always made her come back to her senses and made the whole issue clear. She comprehended what she had always done then: deny the whole thing even though she knew it was useless to do so.

She remembered what Chase said, what her face looked like when she made Lily understand that she should do what she had to do.

Lily closed her eyes as a cool breeze from outside touched her face. And remembered how many times Chase had been right.

*****

Crocodile heart, an eagle's feather, clipped lion's hair, a cup of green gooey stuff that came from the organs of a chimera-beast… Where's that god damned fang?!!!

James dug through his trunk, through Sirius's, through all the other boys' personal belongings in the dormitory. He rummaged through his Potions ingredients thrice, accidentally dropped a Dungbomb, and shattered a vial that contained a very potent Reeking Repellant. Now the dorm just looked like a tornado-blown chamber that smelled like shit mixed with skunk and dirty socks and rotten animal meat. And he still hadn't found the boa constrictor fang that would complete his Animal Transformation Solution.

"Ugh! Where is it?!!!" he yelled to no one in particular, sweeping his hand over his batch of ingredients and utensils from the desk and sending them crashing and squishing to the floor. He panted hard, surveying the mess. Okay, Potter. Stop acting like a demented idiot.

"Seven inches?" a voice called from the doorway.

James froze. Please don't let it be who I don't want it to be…

It was. Leaning against the doorframe, tossing and catching a venom-dripping fang with her right hand and wearing a smirk on her face was Chase Tarlise.

"Could my luck get any worse?" James muttered under his breath as Chase looked down at the floor to find a piece of floor to step on. He didn't realize just how messy he had left the room during his temporary insanity.

Chase must have gotten the impression that there was no other option but to just kick things out of the way, so she did just that until she had gotten a clear path to James's bed. She perched on the edge of his bed, sweeping aside a pile of soiled clothes that he had used during his last detention.

"Sorry for the outburst," he apologized quickly before Chase could come up with a sardonic remark about the state of the room.

Chase nodded, one half of her mouth still drawn upward. A dimple popped up on her cheek as she smirked. "No biggie," she replied, setting her bulky knapsack on the foot of the four poster. She dug around in her open pack and extracted her wand. Twirling it like a baton, James saw books, clothes and prank paraphernalia flying back to their original places in the room. Dirty shirts and jeans shot to the laundry hamper and pieces of loose parchment flew to a neat stack on the miraculously cleared desk. As soon as the room was in order, Chase gave her wand a final twirl and a bluish-lavender smoke rose from the tip, filling the room with a fragrant, flowery smell that overpowered the Reeking Repellant. "There," she said satisfactorily, tossing her wand back into her bag.

"Thanks," said James, "but I don't think we need girls' perfume as the smell of the room…"

Chase grinned. "That's the price you pay for letting me clean up your room," she deadpanned. "Or would you like me to wallpaper the walls pink too?"

"No! Flowery scents are enough!" James said quickly when Chase lifted her wand again.

"Oral consent," Chase said in pretend seriousness, putting her wand in her pocket.

"So…are you here to look for Remus?" James asked, feeling only a slight twinge of jealousy. He didn't like Chase that much. Not really.

Chase shrugged. "Nah. I was going to talk to you about something important, but due to your psychotic tendencies, I think I'll take a rain check," she said dryly.

James felt his heart beat a little faster. He ordered himself to stop. Once girls talk about being exclusive, it just leads to temporary happiness followed by obsession followed by overwhelming disappointment, James's inner voice chanted. But how bad could it be, really? another voice demanded. You break up, then you move on. End of story. "Nope, I'm not that crazy--yet," he countered. "Come on. You said this was important, right? Let's hear it." He sat on Sirius's bed, facing Chase.

"Okay, but before you say anything, it's about Lily," Chase said bluntly.

James started to see red, but--

"And this isn't about some stupid fake relationship joke," Chase added quickly. James exhaled.

"What's there to talk about her?" James asked in a harsher voice than he intended. "I mean, you already know everything about her, so you don't need to hear anything from me."

Chase shook her head. "It's not that. It's just --" She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, and I swear on my behalf as a member of the magical community that I'm not joking." Another pause. "Lily has a crush on you."

James didn't realize that his mouth had dropped open. There were a thousand thoughts and emotions running through his head in barely a split second that he started to feel a head rush coming. "W-what?" he finally managed. Nice, James, he taunted himself. Really eloquent.

Chase looked at him expectantly, her shoulder-length brown hair tumbling over her shoulder as she tilted her head. "Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked in a demanding sort of voice.

James's mouth suddenly felt completely dry. He coughed and reached for the pitcher of water and a glass on Sirius's bedside table to stall. Drinking the water slowly, he avoided all forms of eye contact between him and Chase.

"Well?" Chase asked again.

James willed himself to look her straight in the eye and attempted what he thought was a mock-believing expression on his face. Pretend-acceptance equals not serious equals not true. Chase's face was a serious as stone. What did the girl want from him? What did she want him to say?

"Um, if you don't mind my asking, what is your particular role in this?" he said, not coming up with any other thing to point out that this was seriously wrong.

Chase sighed. "I know, I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's not usual for me to butt into someone else's business, especially something about love," she added with disgust. "But I can't take seeing my best friend tripping all over herself for a guy who doesn't even know she has feelings for him."

James tried not to flinch when she implied that love was something she could do without. "So you're saying I'm not worth falling for?" he asked, offended.

"Oh, no," she assured quickly. "I didn't mean that. I just don't get why Lily couldn't gather the courage to say something to you. I mean, all this could've been taken straight from a soap opera or something. Lil's so outspoken, but when it comes to romance, she's a little…clueless."

James's eyebrows raised. "So you're saying that you're the big love expert?" he demanded.

Chase laughed, not an exaggeratedly flirty laugh, but not a girlish little giggle either. It was just…Chase's laugh. "Me? A romantic? Are you kidding?" She tied her hair into a ponytail and let out another chuckle.

"Then what are you here for? Why are you persuading me to like Lily when she's not even the girl I'm in love with--?" Oops. That wasn't supposed to come out.

Chase didn't seem to notice. "Right. See, I'm not asking you to get together with her, I just want you to let her know that you're not interested or something."

James stared back at her dancing blue eyes in disbelief. "Wait a minute--you're not telling me to confront her, are you?" he asked suddenly. He couldn't imagine a dispute with Lily Evans. Well, he could, but the only one his mind could come up with was a hurl of hexes and a mutilated face in the end. Definitely not good.

"Yep. Sounds stupid, doesn't it?" she quipped. "Even I can't imagine you and Lily having a heart-to-heart talk," she said with a smirk.

"Well then, if even the persuader thinks that that option is illogical, more so the person you're trying to persuade," James shot back. "There is no way that you're going to get me to talk to her, and that's final." It came out coming as a bark.

Chase's eyes were still twinkling with amusement. God. Did nothing faze this girl? "You know, you're just going to end up being with her in the end," she predicted confidently.

"No way," James said firmly. Absolutely no rational way, he added silently.

"Fine, it's your life," Chase said with a shrug. "But I deserve the right to say 'I told you so' when things go my way."

"Whatever," James mumbled, standing up and walking to the window. He waited until the last possible second to glance back at her.

He turned around--and noticed that she had already left.

She was just kidding, a voice in his head reasoned. Chase is a good actress. Sirius probably tricked her into talking to you.

Chase might be good in acting, but she's not the type who can get fooled by just anybody, another, more traitorous voice answered.

James shook his head, hoping that the process could clear his thoughts. Putting it logically, he knew that (1) Chase would never pull something like this, (2) It was impossible for Lily to actually like like him, and (3) He was going to go even crazier than he already was if he couldn't straighten it all out. Obviously, he had stepped into a completely parallel universe in the past five minutes.

He sat down on his bed and dropped back onto the pillow. As he did so, something that sounded like paper cracked underneath his back.

He pulled it out and examined it under the light. In it was an anime style SD sketch of the six of them, Sirius with a hitchhiker thumb pointing in James's direction and shaking his head, Remus beside him with an expression of agreement. Celeste had her arms folded and was giving Lily a look that implied "You'd better do this right." James was front and center in the picture, not looking at anybody and with his head down. Lily was a little bit behind him to the right, where Chase was pushing her forward. She had a downcast look on her face. On the left side of her chest was a bright red heart that stood out, and it had a jagged line drawn through the middle.

*****

Sirius came out of the library, whistling. He had just been from another round of sneaking into the Restricted Section and hacking out all the potential course books for study; things like Advanced Hexes for the Modern Mind and Curses: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It was so easy to get past Madame Pince and her student assistants. He could practically do it with his eyes closed. He wondered why so many 'sensible' people couldn't even spot a prankster who was walking to a forbidden place in plain sight. Moronic, but at least it made it easier for him.

The only downside to that entertaining experience was that he had to lug several thick books with over a thousand pages all the way to the seventh floor and up the dormitory. Not exactly a thrilling aspect.

He staggered up a flight of stairs and stumbled on the landing step, sending four books flying in all directions. "What am I doing?" he muttered. He waved his wand and the books flew into his magically expanded bag (from the inside). Then he cast a spell on it so it would be as light as air.

Stupid. After countless times of breaking the 'No Magic' rule in detention, you didn't use it when you weren't told that it was forbidden, he chided himself. Maybe the snotty idiot junior librarians' way of thinking was affecting his brain. He finally reached the last step on the second floor and trudged down the hallway. Portraits leered at him as if they knew that he was smuggling out books that he shouldn't be reading from the LRC.

"What are you lookin' at?" he said loudly to a painting of a group of women dressed in frilly clothes. They were probably the medieval counterparts of country-club gossips whose mouths moved faster than the speed of light.

The women jumped and returned to their business of conversing loudly and letting out the occasional giggle. One of them threw a nasty look at Sirius.

Shrugging, Sirius went on down the corridor. There were fewer paintings here, which Sirius took as a good sign. He stopped short, hearing indistinct voices farther down the corridor.

He squinted. One figure was thin and had what looked suspiciously like a crystal ball in her hand. The other was tall, long-fingered and had the ugliest face you could imagine… Well, second, Sirius thought. Snape's got the top spot in that department.

Then again, he decided, they both deserve the number one spot.

He noticed that they weren't turning on any intersections and were heading straight at him. Uh-oh. Wouldn't want to be caught poaching Dark Arts books by an oversized glittering dragonfly and the surliest, most vindictive ten-detentions-a-day-giver homo erectus on earth.

Acting quickly, he lifted the side of an oil painting and pushed a brick in the middle of the wall it covered. The wall moved back and created an opening just large enough for him to enter. He slipped into the crack and the wall automatically shut behind him.

"Lumos," Sirius whispered, taking out his wand. The small light illuminated the dim surroundings, creating a silent, eerie effect. A spider crawled up his arm and he swatted it away as he made his way down the cramped space. Mentally scanning the image of the Marauder's Map, he estimated that this route would lead somewhere on the third floor. It circled all the way around the second floor in a one-way direction, so it would make it harder for him. Oh, well. At least I didn't have to deal with an oversized fog-sphere-toting fairy and the dyspeptic lout from Planet Antagona.

It was hard walking through the dark, stuffy path. At some point it was so cramped that Sirius had to crawl on his hands and knees and somewhere else he had to walk side-view because it was so narrow.

When he finally escaped that airless mass of space, he slipped out just in the nick of time. He took a quick glance around (trying to look inconspicuous) and saw the retreating back of Apollyon Pringle rounding the corner. Sighing in relief, he walked more briskly. He wouldn't want to meet any encounters with other, strict-about-rules teachers, did he?

As he rounded the corner, he slammed into another student and fell onto the floor in a sitting position. "Ow! Watch where you're--"

The words died in his throat. Celeste Schoharie was in the act of standing up after hitting the tiles hard, wincing. "Why don't you watch where you're going?" she grumbled as she straightened up.

"I-I'm sorry," Sirius stammered, leaning over to pick up his backpack.

"I'm sure you are," Celeste said in a sarcastic voice, certainly not like the way Chase intoned cynicism.

"Chill, sis," Chase's voice said amusedly behind her twin. "Most accidents happen to ephemerally psycho people in these cases."

Celeste glared at her. "Is that your way of showing sympathy to your own sister?" she spat.

Chase smirked. "Sympathy? My dear Celeste, if you need consolation, find one of those touchy-feely guidance counselors--or at least a hardworking social worker. You could even expect it from a country-club butt kisser, but definitely not from a freethinking maverick."

Celeste flipped her hair back. "I don't need this," she muttered under her breath. She stalked down the lobby in a huff.

"What's with her?" Sirius asked Chase.

"Like I said, she's suffering from momentary lunacy," Chase said dryly. "And an hour of strolling around a gigantic castle with a cynic is just what the doctor prescribed."

Sirius cracked a smile. "Who's the doctor, then?"

"Moi, of course," Chase said, laying a hand to her chest exaggeratedly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to attend to. Being a prescribed medicine is hard work," she deadpanned.

"Best of luck," Sirius answered.

"Yeah. And I'm not even getting paid for it," Chase agreed. "Later."

"Later," Sirius laughed as she dashed down the corridor.

Sometimes a sarcastic friend was enough to ease his spirits.

*****

A/N - Before you start in on me, I've got four reasons for being late:

School started about a week ago. I'm not an American, I'm not British, so I'm sorry if my country's rainy season is from early June to September. School sucks. I have a ton of homework everyday, and there's no way I can cram in some writing time unless by some miracle my teachers suddenly become charitable. I hate school, but I have to get high grades (from the annoying insistence of my academically critical parents). School really sucks. Did I mention that? I finished this chapter, but when I logged into fanfiction.net, the hard drive or something or other was busted so I couldn't upload. And the last…when I last checked the computer, the file for this chapter was gone, and I didn't even have any back-up files! Sob, sob… I had to rewrite everything and I hope you didn't find it sucky. It's hard rewriting something that I haven't even run through yet…

So that's that. I can't write a chapter in four to five days anymore…

Hmmm, before I forget. Review if you have time to spare! Thanks ^_^

-Dimantrien