It has had been a week since she got here.

A full week and counting… and never once did the thought of him left her.

Her efforts to banish him from her system were not only severely exhausting, they were entirely useless, as well.

Everything she saw, anything she did, no matter how insignificant and unrelated they maybe, seemed to remind her of him.

The day, the night, the food that she ate. The fire that she burnt to keep her self warm. The tea that she drank, the blades of her kunai, the tatami mats that she sat on and thread upon.

The color of her eyes, the solid frozen river… even the straying laughter of a stranger...

A smile - any smile… every smile that she saw and did not see…

Hell, everything did…

In daytime, the harsh blueness of the sky constantly reminded her of his ineffable eyes: hard, blue and clear. – It was a clarity she knew too well that hid anything and everything about the man.

And the silence of the night grimly reminded her of his callous distance. – A distance that kept him peerless and unreachable at all times. Just like a blazing star that burns bright, light years away… so unattainable… so determined to stay alone.

And the coldness of the snow reminded her of his heart – vast, void and frigid…

He was everything and everywhere she turned to. Yet always, he was beyond her figuring out. Always.

She touched her right index and mid finger behind her ear and felt her throbbing pulse.

How is it possible that the mere thought of him could effortlessly send her heart racing?

And the more she desired to forget him, the harder she tried to do so, the greater she failed.

All she could think about was him, even in her best efforts not to. And it was infuriatingly driving her insane!

That night… that night when she finally told him goodbye… wasn't it all supposed to have ended? This obsession with him, the gnawing guilt, the abject pain…

Was she not supposed to start anew? So that she could finally feel happy?

Happy? Yes… she supposed she could.

Somehow… someway…

It would be much like having it rain with the absence of water… Well sure, she could that…

And being here - away from home, away from him - added something else, a sense of … ? She stopped short of naming the sentiment attached to it as she sensed a watching presence.

A visitor, she thought.

Him?

If her heart was racing earlier, it had gone totally off charts now. In fact, it raced so hard that she wouldn't at all be surprised if it suddenly chose to leap out of her mouth at that exact moment.

This is all wrong … he isn't supposed to be here.

He's supposed to be mopping in the cheerless temple, busily praying and meditating or… whatever it is that he does - futilely seeking redemption in hopes of atonement for his past sins.

Heh, he's affirmatively turning to stone, if anyone asked her.

"I know you are there, Aoshi-sama," she spoke first. She did not even bother to turn around to face him to indicate that she acknowledged his presence. "I thought I had told you…" her words died in her throat when she sensed him approaching.

"Told me what, Misao?" he questioned aloofly, "Whatever it was, I didn't listen."

It wasn't his answer that made her flushed but his physical nearness to her. She could tell that he was close for she could feel the intangible heat that his body emanated on her back. And the scent of him that wafted into her nostrils, almost made her knees weak.

And he was still inching nearer as he pointedly spoke - voice, callous and distant, "Even a cat may look at a king. And you…" he paused for emphasis, "are no king."

If his first words earlier had made her speechless, that latter had her almost floored.

Well, what was she expecting from him? An apology?!?

"You've remembered everything now, haven't you?" he spoke again. "You'd even used my own words against me."

She kept silent, wrecking her brain as her mind whirled unsteadily, trying to think of something clever to say.

"I'll take that as a yes, then," he answered for her when he received none.

Breathe… 1… 2…

"Don't ask questions to answers you already know!" she finally retorted, furiously crushing the ball of her left foot into the ground. "And you're not supposed to be here, neither are you supposed to show…"

"You are not even looking at me, Misao," he bluntly cut in. "And I'm standing behind you," he impassively went on, "Clearly, I did not show you my face."

If jaws could drop without first being broken, hers would have done so.

"Yet …if you were to so much as to turn around, … you will see me," he offhandedly continued, just in time as she spun around, seething hotly.

"But it wouldn't be my fault, now," he finished unconcernedly, savoring the look of utter disbelief that she wore on her face, "… would it?"

Definitely would have done so…

If Aoshi was like any ordinary man, he might be smirking right then.

But the only sign that gave away his amusement was his slightly raised brow, like the way one would condescendingly display to mock a scowling foe. It wasn't really noticeable and under the most ignorant and emotional, would easily pass undetected.

Fuming, she pointed accusingly at him, "You… you said u weren't listening!" she shrilled incredulously.

He made a tiny movement with his shoulders. Very tiny. Perhaps, it could pass as a shrug. An Aoshi shrug.

"No, I said I didn't listen …" he looked at her finger disinterestedly before looking straight into her eyes. "Why should I?"" he replied her with a question, unyielding cool. "And besides, Misao, exchange is no robbery."

She was about to ask him what he meant by that when it finally dawned on her that he himself had once told her to never show her face to him again. But his words had, more or less, totally gone unheeded.

A shocked gasp escaped her lips. She prayed he did not hear it but she knew better.

'Think of something! Think of something!' her mind panicked.

"So, what now, Aoshi?" she folded her arms on her chest and glared at him evocatively. The lack of formality did not escape him.

"Are you going to drag me back to the Aoiya with you? And then what?" she widened her eyes, if it were anymore possible and flailed her arms exaggeratedly.

"Bring me tea every morning and noon? Wait for me by the temple road and pretend to join me for a walk every evening?" she accentuated on the word every. " Are you going to pester me to no end? Is that what you are going to do? Want to do?" she spat exasperatedly.

If she weren't so upset, she would have realized how comical the entire scene was.

"Which question do you want me to answer first?" he detachedly interjected.

Was that a joke? Was she supposed to laugh?

She spent a long hard time glaring at him, searching his teal pools for some form of truth that might perhaps, miraculously be there. But she found none, being unable to decipher the codes of vacance he held in his eyes.

Somberly she shook her head negatively and answered him the best she could.

"I only want the truth. Well, at least that's what I thought. But since I already knew it, don't bother answering. Just go already."

The silence that followed was numbing. A part of her wanted him to deny her accusations, to utter anything even, just as long as he breaks the silence; the other feared should he do so. Feared that she would be let on and hurt all over again.

And then the worst of her fears came true.

"Misao, wait… Before you turn your back on me forever, at least… at least listen to what I have to say…"

He gave her hope…

"What I've told you…everything… they were"

And he took it back…

"I wasn't lying…"

She felt her heart splintered into uncountable shards.

"They were only half truths…"

And then troddened on and squelched upon.

Suddenly, he took her face in his hands, and forcing her to him, he kissed her.

It was brief, yet absolutely devastating. She reeled and turned her back on him, panting and disoriented. She let her left hand fall limply by her side, her right grazing her mouth.

And then she ran.

And ran…

And she ran…

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Thank you for reading.