Mike: Hello! Welcome to the second instalment of Villains: The aftermath!
Todays episode is bigger and better than ever!
Studio Audience: Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Mike: Excuse me, but since when have we had a studio audience?
Producer: *shrugs* They just turned up, I thought they could be useful, you know, more drama.
Mike: I think we have enough drama already. Killer frikken moogles if I may remind you.
Producer: Mike, they were moogles. Moogles are cute fluffy things that you see in Lindblum.
Mike: Excuse me, but who is the one with a broken arm gained from sitting with those little savages?
Studio audience: Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhh
Producer: I seem to remember that Kuja had been living with them for 6 months, and he was fine!
Mike: Shut up! Those things are evil, evil I tell you!
Audience: *laughter*
Producer: Oh, forget it. I have a meeting to go to, you can stay here on your own with the camerman.
Mike: WAIT! How I am Supposee to get home!?
*The producer gets in to a limo and drives away*
Producer: *distant voice* I'm sure you'll find a way.
Mike: Yeah, but, but...Oh, forget it. Please welcome Kefka everyone.
Audience: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Mike: ¬_¬
Kefka: Hello, Micheal. I'm so pleased I was invited to the show!
Mike: We couldn't be more pleased to be here. To start off, where are we Kefka?
Kefka: If you would care to look around, you will see we are in a trailer.
Mike: And why is that?
Kefka: Well, I have joined the circus Mike! My bad make-up and outrageous clothes gained me offers from the world's best! I went freelance after a while, I now demand 2,000,000 gil per show! The kiddies are terrified!
Mike: So, you're doing well for yourself then!
Kefka: oh yes. I have been offered parts in huge horror movies and games too, such as Silent Hill 4 and Scream 4. They said my laugh sounded like a molested weasel! I was quite flattered really.
Mike: So, do you ever miss your evil roots?
Kefka: No.
Mike: Oh, well, erm.
Kefka: I'm good friends with all the Espers now, oh yes.
Mike: Ah. Well, ho-, erm, yes.
Kefka: Is that all?
Mike: Oh, no, no I'm sure that can't be it!
Kefka: Well that seems to be it.
Mike: Erm, Well, let's make up a few, keep the show going, er.Your costumes, where do you buy them from?
Kefka: Costumes?
Mike: You know, your clothes. They MUST be costumes.
Kefka: No, I've worn these most of my life! They're just normal! Do-don't you like them? Everyone else does.
Mike: No, actually, I prefer jeans.I think your clothes are ridiculous to be honest. You said so yourself. I'm not sure how you manage to walk the streets without having things pelted at you.
Audience: Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Kefka: You, you, you; JERK! I really liked them! I thought I was fitting in so well...*Runs away crying*
Audience: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cameraman: You dumbass, you're so insensitive!
Mike: What? All I said was that his dress sense was abysmal.
Cameraman: No, that's never offended anyone.
Mike: Well, what am I supposed to say? Yes, your clothes are just wonderful? You look so elegant? He looks like he belongs in a play! He's in the circus! Surely he didn't think they were nice!?
Cameraman: You're gonna get your stupid ass fired.
Mike: No I won't I signed a contract, they can't!
Cameraman: I didn't mean like.
*WHAM*
Cameraman.that.
*Mike lies sprawled on the floor with a fireball slammed into his back. Kefka is standing with Ifrit by his side, smirking.*
Kefka: Ha.
Ifrit: . . .
Kefka: . . .
Audience: . .
Cameraman: *Staring at the limp body* What do we do now?
Kekfa: Er..
Cameraman: *Pokes Mike's body with a stick*
Kefka: Can't we just turn the camera off?
Cameraman: No, we have 15 minutes of the show left.
*The three stand in the trailer staring at the limp body*
Kefka: Do you want some tea?
Cameraman: Two sugars.
*Ifrit stands in the middle of the room whistling. He tries to sit down but burns a hole in the sofa*
Ifrit: You think he will notice?
* We interrupt this program for a short commercial break *
*The camera is propped up with a stick as kekfa, Ifrit and the Cameraman sit on the sofa sipping tea.* Cameraman: Any big shows soon?
Kefka:Yes, actually. Freak show on Saturday. Big money. I am hypnosis man, the man with the evil eyes. They said they were hollow and empty, exactly what they were looking for.
Mike: Yeeeeeeees..
*more sipping of tea*
Kefka: Where have that audience gone?
Cameraman: I think they went home.
*A mouse eats some cheese*
Kefka: So . . .
Cameraman: So.
Kekfa: - how is your life as cameraman?
Cameraman: Well, I really did want a job with chocobo express you know, quality programming. I studied camera angles with proffeser Tot, you know. But nay, I could only get a job here at Life crystal TV.
Kefka: Well, that's a shame.you are good, you know. Don't you think he's good Ifrit?
Ifrit: I'm hot.
All: . . . . . . . . . . . .
Kefka: *Kicking Mike's blood-spattered body* So, who is this guy anyway?
Cameraman: Who knows? This is his first show. I doubt he's even had training.
Kekfa: I can tell.
*The sipping continues as Ifrit shuffles in his chair*
Kefka: Say, should we get him to a hospital or something?
Cameraman: Oh, yeah, probably. *The sipping carries on*
Kefka: Are we going to then?
Cameraman: What? Oh, yes, I suppose.
*The tea is put down and the three clumsily pick up the body and bundle it into the boot.*
Cameraman: Can he breather in there?
Kekfa: It doesn't matter.
*They get into the car and drive away*
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*Some tumbleweed passes by*
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*The car pulls up*
Cameraman: *looking into the camera* Sorry!
Studio Audience: Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Mike: Excuse me, but since when have we had a studio audience?
Producer: *shrugs* They just turned up, I thought they could be useful, you know, more drama.
Mike: I think we have enough drama already. Killer frikken moogles if I may remind you.
Producer: Mike, they were moogles. Moogles are cute fluffy things that you see in Lindblum.
Mike: Excuse me, but who is the one with a broken arm gained from sitting with those little savages?
Studio audience: Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhh
Producer: I seem to remember that Kuja had been living with them for 6 months, and he was fine!
Mike: Shut up! Those things are evil, evil I tell you!
Audience: *laughter*
Producer: Oh, forget it. I have a meeting to go to, you can stay here on your own with the camerman.
Mike: WAIT! How I am Supposee to get home!?
*The producer gets in to a limo and drives away*
Producer: *distant voice* I'm sure you'll find a way.
Mike: Yeah, but, but...Oh, forget it. Please welcome Kefka everyone.
Audience: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Mike: ¬_¬
Kefka: Hello, Micheal. I'm so pleased I was invited to the show!
Mike: We couldn't be more pleased to be here. To start off, where are we Kefka?
Kefka: If you would care to look around, you will see we are in a trailer.
Mike: And why is that?
Kefka: Well, I have joined the circus Mike! My bad make-up and outrageous clothes gained me offers from the world's best! I went freelance after a while, I now demand 2,000,000 gil per show! The kiddies are terrified!
Mike: So, you're doing well for yourself then!
Kefka: oh yes. I have been offered parts in huge horror movies and games too, such as Silent Hill 4 and Scream 4. They said my laugh sounded like a molested weasel! I was quite flattered really.
Mike: So, do you ever miss your evil roots?
Kefka: No.
Mike: Oh, well, erm.
Kefka: I'm good friends with all the Espers now, oh yes.
Mike: Ah. Well, ho-, erm, yes.
Kefka: Is that all?
Mike: Oh, no, no I'm sure that can't be it!
Kefka: Well that seems to be it.
Mike: Erm, Well, let's make up a few, keep the show going, er.Your costumes, where do you buy them from?
Kefka: Costumes?
Mike: You know, your clothes. They MUST be costumes.
Kefka: No, I've worn these most of my life! They're just normal! Do-don't you like them? Everyone else does.
Mike: No, actually, I prefer jeans.I think your clothes are ridiculous to be honest. You said so yourself. I'm not sure how you manage to walk the streets without having things pelted at you.
Audience: Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Kefka: You, you, you; JERK! I really liked them! I thought I was fitting in so well...*Runs away crying*
Audience: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cameraman: You dumbass, you're so insensitive!
Mike: What? All I said was that his dress sense was abysmal.
Cameraman: No, that's never offended anyone.
Mike: Well, what am I supposed to say? Yes, your clothes are just wonderful? You look so elegant? He looks like he belongs in a play! He's in the circus! Surely he didn't think they were nice!?
Cameraman: You're gonna get your stupid ass fired.
Mike: No I won't I signed a contract, they can't!
Cameraman: I didn't mean like.
*WHAM*
Cameraman.that.
*Mike lies sprawled on the floor with a fireball slammed into his back. Kefka is standing with Ifrit by his side, smirking.*
Kefka: Ha.
Ifrit: . . .
Kefka: . . .
Audience: . .
Cameraman: *Staring at the limp body* What do we do now?
Kekfa: Er..
Cameraman: *Pokes Mike's body with a stick*
Kefka: Can't we just turn the camera off?
Cameraman: No, we have 15 minutes of the show left.
*The three stand in the trailer staring at the limp body*
Kefka: Do you want some tea?
Cameraman: Two sugars.
*Ifrit stands in the middle of the room whistling. He tries to sit down but burns a hole in the sofa*
Ifrit: You think he will notice?
* We interrupt this program for a short commercial break *
*The camera is propped up with a stick as kekfa, Ifrit and the Cameraman sit on the sofa sipping tea.* Cameraman: Any big shows soon?
Kefka:Yes, actually. Freak show on Saturday. Big money. I am hypnosis man, the man with the evil eyes. They said they were hollow and empty, exactly what they were looking for.
Mike: Yeeeeeeees..
*more sipping of tea*
Kefka: Where have that audience gone?
Cameraman: I think they went home.
*A mouse eats some cheese*
Kefka: So . . .
Cameraman: So.
Kekfa: - how is your life as cameraman?
Cameraman: Well, I really did want a job with chocobo express you know, quality programming. I studied camera angles with proffeser Tot, you know. But nay, I could only get a job here at Life crystal TV.
Kefka: Well, that's a shame.you are good, you know. Don't you think he's good Ifrit?
Ifrit: I'm hot.
All: . . . . . . . . . . . .
Kefka: *Kicking Mike's blood-spattered body* So, who is this guy anyway?
Cameraman: Who knows? This is his first show. I doubt he's even had training.
Kekfa: I can tell.
*The sipping continues as Ifrit shuffles in his chair*
Kefka: Say, should we get him to a hospital or something?
Cameraman: Oh, yeah, probably. *The sipping carries on*
Kefka: Are we going to then?
Cameraman: What? Oh, yes, I suppose.
*The tea is put down and the three clumsily pick up the body and bundle it into the boot.*
Cameraman: Can he breather in there?
Kekfa: It doesn't matter.
*They get into the car and drive away*
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
*Some tumbleweed passes by*
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
*The car pulls up*
Cameraman: *looking into the camera* Sorry!