Disclaimer: Sorry for the lateness! Screw school! If only I could--oh, is this the disclaimer? Argh…DAMN THAT F****** SCHOOL!!!

Chapter 15: Love Legerdemain

The armistice wasn't lost on Peter the next day.

Valentines' Day.

It was lucky that February 14 was a Saturday, otherwise the teachers wouldn't have gotten any lecturing done. The whole morning, owls swooped surprisingly to students as they were going to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Even more so in the Gryffindor Table. Everybody knew that the biggest chick magnets in the school were James and Sirius (and this was probably the reason why so many boys were giving them dirty looks the day before), and even though word had spread that they were taken, tons of owls dropped expensive gifts, scarlet cards and perfumed love letters in long, three-paged rambles on how the two of them were simply amazing and breathtakingly good-looking. Chase, ever the cynic, made sarcastic remarks to the lamer valentines and laughing a good part of the time when she read the cheesy lines some girls wrote (not to mention that she herself had already stacked a high pile of valentines and presents).

"The only good thing about this junk is that I get to have all these presents," Chase commented as she unwrapped a glittering golden necklace with a sun pendant. "Gold again? If Travis Spencer loves me then he'd better send silver," she said as she handed the necklace to Lily.

"How'd you know it was Spencer?" Celeste asked curiously. She was halfway through a seven-paged valentine that an anonymous person sent her, where romantic prose was overflowing about how Mr. Secret Admirer loved the way Celeste's hair shone and the smell of her perfume when she bumped into him three days before.

"Of course I know it's him, he's the only person with a left mind who has peanut butter smeared all over his hands all the time," Chase said matter-of-factly. She held up the slightly peanut-buttered edges of the paper and the necklace's box. "Oh yeah, and in case you didn't know, that novel you're reading right now was written by Eric Heathcote."

"How'd you know that?" Celeste asked again, staring at the letter.

"Duh. Like he hasn't been writing long letters to me since second year. He's the one who takes quotes from Shakespeare as a finish. Check the line above the 'secret admirer' signature."

Sirius, having been bored by all his cards (he had opened all his gifts already), was looking through Chase's. He was just opening a gold-gilded one with "Chase" written on the cover in calligraphy, when he dropped it like a hot rock.

"No--way," he said disgustedly, grabbing a napkin and using it to hold the end of the card gingerly.

"Who sent that?" James asked with interest. He wasn't done unwrapping presents yet; he had done it manually while Sirius used magic.

"I'm gonna kill him," Sirius growled, his eyes dark.

"Give it to me," Lily commanded, making a snatch for the valentine. Sirius held it out of her reach.

"Oh, just hand it to her, Sirius," Chase groaned. "You lot wouldn't be fighting for it if you knew who it was from. It's Snape's."

Lily instantly dropped her outstretched hand.

"He's got some nerve," James said, shooting a dirty look at the Slytherin Table. Snape wasn't there yet. "Typical. He's probably hiding since he knows that Sirius's gonna rip him out if he were here."

"You can plot his murder later Sirius," Remus added. "We'll help you."

Peter, who was the new (old) addition to their group, took the card from Sirius and read it out. He was quite amazed that he himself had received three valentines ("From Hufflepuffs, no doubt," Sirius had said). Nevertheless, Peter's confidence was boosted somewhat. "To my Radiant Goddess," he read.

Remus and James sniggered through their cereals, while Chase gagged on her hot chocolate.

"Maybe I could do that curse about breaking his bones one by one--what d'you call that again?" he asked Chase, who coughed.

"I don't know. Do whatever you want to do, Sirius. Just make sure it's really painful so he won't get any more ideas," Chase answered. Peter handed her the card and Chase used a Laceration Spell on it. The shredding calmed Sirius down.

"No magic outside class, Miss Tarlise. Ten points from Gryffindor," Ridgewood called from the High Table, his face twisted into a sardonic smile.

Chase threw a fake (obviously) saccharine smile at Ridgewood. "I'm so sorry, sir, I'll make sure not to do so next time. You know, when you finally tell off your favorite student for sending valentines to a displeasing Gryffindor like me when he's supposed to hate my guts," she answered sweetly. A few people who were daring enough laughed. Ridgewood scowled as Chase and the other six friends strolled out of the Hall.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for answering a teacher!" Ridgewood yelled after them.

"Ten points for simply pointing out injustice?" Sirius shot back across the Hall. Before Ridgewood could explode, the seven of them headed, as fast as they could, to the nearest secret passage leading to Gryffindor Tower.

*****

They reached the girls' dormitory in ten minutes.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Celeste was exclaiming to her sister. "You're a Tarlise! You shouldn't be answering your teachers, no matter how mean they can be--"

"Shut up, Celeste," Chase said in a bored tone as she pored through her valentines. "Sirius, James and your boyfriend have been taking loads of points off our hourglass for ages, and you've never scolded them."

Celeste looked at the marauders (okay, so this time Peter's with them, but I swear I still don't like him), as if sizing them up for a second. "That's different. I mean, they're not in the family…"

"Oh, that's right, torment me because I'm your sister, not your fiancé-to-be. You don't call that unfair," Chase scoffed.

"Fiancé-to-be?" Lily cracked up, almost choking herself on a crab stick. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"You're starting to adapt Sirius's eating habits," Remus observed as he glanced at Lily.

"Yeah, like a total pig," Celeste added, giving Sirius a sidelong glance.

"I object," Sirius defended through a mouthful of chicken salad. Everybody laughed.

Chase pulled out several small wrapped boxes from underneath her bed. "Here," she said, tossing Remus one.

"Really, Chase? You shouldn't have," Remus admonished exaggeratedly as he caught it.

"I thought 1 was your boyfriend," Sirius protested.

Chase rolled her eyes as she handed Celeste and Lily their presents. Celeste unwrapped hers first and extracted a kiddie-styled stuffed 'Remus' doll.

"Oh, how cute!" she squealed, ripping off the wrapper entirely.

"Yeah, it'd work as a great pincushion," James quipped.

"Or a voodoo doll," Lily added with a chuckle. "So you can stick needles into it when Remus offended you or something--"

"Or hex it so that whatever you do to it links with Rem and he'll be cursed in real life," Sirius supplied.

"Make it the subject to create his nightmares when he dumps you for another girl," Peter chimed in.

"Gee, thanks," Remus said shortly.

"He'd never do that," Celeste objected, looking horrified at the thought. She clutched the little doll hard. "Would he?"

"Possibly," answered James.

"Probably," Lily responded with a devilish smile.

"Definitely," Sirius replied.

"Sirius!" Remus half-shouted at him.

"I didn't think of that," Chase remarked.

"Well, there's a lot more things we could think of for a Chase-made personal doll," Lily said as she untied the ribbon on hers. Chase had already given James his present too.

Chase smirked, amused. "That's ironic," she commented. "'Cause that's exactly what I gave you guys."

*****

And when the remaining three (Sirius and Peter not included) pulled out their gifts, they were indeed miniature dolls of their respective partners.

"It's adorable!" Lily gushed, holding up her 'James' doll. "Thanks, Chase!"

"My pleasure," answered the cynic. "It'd be great to watch James being hexed without knowing where it's coming from…from a safe distance."

James scowled at her. "Is that why you didn't make a doll that looks like you?"

"'Course I didn't. Anyway, I'm not going to give Sirius a doll. I mean, you guys are great, but I'm not in love with any of you."

"That's a relieving remark," Sirius piped up.

"Hey Chase, d'you think you can make a Snape doll?" Lily asked with an expression of amusement.

"Why? Are you in love with him?" Chase sardonically responded.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not. Maybe you can make a whole army of Slytherin dolls so we can hex them all without sneaking off in the middle of the night and breaking a slew of rules."

There was a chorus of 'yeahs' and nods. "Fine then, I'll work on it," Chase reasoned. "But I still don't have enough materi--"

"Chase, practice time!" a voice sang out as the door opened. Erin Sinclair stood in the doorway, apparently taken aback by the presence of four boys in the girls' dormitory.

"Oookay, I guess I should make that Chase and two rule-breakers too. C'mon, you three, better move fast. Mark's in a bit of a bad mood today, so you'd better move it."

"It's still ten a.m., Erin. How come we have Quidditch practice so early?" Sirius complained.

"Stop being a grouch, Black, or Mark'll bite your head off. Run along now, you need to fetch your broomsticks and robes--"

"Accio Silver Arrow!" James said just as Sirius said "Accio robes!"

Erin jumped aside as two broomsticks hurtled past her and into the room, followed by two sets of scarlet robes looking very peculiar moving by themselves. "Jeez, try and kill me by stabbing a broomstick handle straight into my stomach, will you."

"Sorry, but you said we better get moving, right?" Sirius said as he pulled his robes over his head. "I don't know why Mark is making such a big deal out of this anyway, we're just going to play Ravenclaw."

"Just Ravenclaw?" Erin exclaimed. "Have you any idea how strong their team's been getting this past few weeks? That's why Mark's so ticked off. And speaking of being ticked off, we better run it. If we're even a second late I'm confident to assume that he's going to give us an extremely cruel punishment…" (Mark's a prefect. Forgot to mention that…)

*****

They barely made it to the Quidditch field (on time). Mark looked disapprovingly at them. "You're late."

"No, we're not," Chase objected. "We got here precisely five seconds before the second hand ticked past 10:15. We are officially on time."

"Fine then," Mark said with a scowl. "Just mount your brooms. We're going to practice moves to use against the Ravenclaws today. Keith, you're to pass the Quaffle to Chase whenever she's open or when it's an easy pass. If not, try to shoot it yourself but fake a little once in a while and then pass it to her. I heard the Ravenclaw Chasers have a weak spot in that tactic. But don't do it too often, they might figure it out. Dione and Sirius, you know what to do, you've gotta make a mad dash for every Bludger. And James…try to catch the Snitch in the least span of time as you can. We're ahead of the league by seventy points, but you never know how skilled they trained their Seeker now…"

Mark clapped his hands and the players flew off into the air as he released the four official balls. A Bludger pelted straight at Erin as she was heading for the goalposts, and Sirius smashed it away at the last second.

"Nice work, Sirius. Just make sure it heads straight for a Ravenclaw next time, got it?" Mark called from below.

"How can I make it hit a Ravenclaw when there's no Ravenclaw to receive the blow?" Sirius bellowed sourly back.

Mark ignored him as Chase passed the Quaffle. Sirius decided on physical retaliation, swinging a passing Bludger as hard as he could in Mark's direction.

"Hey!" Dione complained, nearly getting hit on the head by the offending Bludger.

"Watch it!" Keith yelled as he was about to shoot. In his avoidance of the Bludger he dropped the Quaffle.

James, who was in the middle of a dive, nearly fell off his broom as he pulled out when the Bludger changed direction and shot straight at him from below. "SIRIUS!!!" he shouted as he rolled over in the air. He lost sight of the Snitch.

The Bludger, if it had a mind of its own, was doing very well. It almost knocked Chase over when she caught the Quaffle from Keith, sending her spiraling out of the way.

Erin didn't escape the Bludger's wrath either. The Bludger pelted at her when her mind was still fixed on blocking Chase's shot. Instead of the red ball, a midnight blue iron one came into contact with her outstretched arm. A loud CRAAACK rent the air.

"What in blue blazes do you think you're doing!!!" a furious voice shouted from below. Mark had landed in the middle of the field, his face redder than a chili pepper. "Come down here, the lot of you! Now!"

The startled Quidditch players silently glided over to him, with the exceptions of Erin and Chase who was aiding the latter with her broken arm, and Sirius, who was laughing so hard, he could've fallen off his broom.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Mark thundered as he approached--last. "What the bloody hell were you thinking, causing hazardous damage to your fellow teammates?!"

Sirius laughed even louder. "It-was-supposed--to-hit--YOU!" he gasped, his voice shaking with mirth. "But-instead--it-hit-every--other-person-that--I-wasn't--planning-on-hitting…"

"And you think of it as a mere joke?" Mark lectured him, his expression becoming stonier at the fact that Sirius wasn't taking all this seriously. "Look! You just injured our Keeper…the game's next Saturday! Or was your 'unintended' trick all a minor oversight?"

"Really, Mark, you shouldn't be so hard on him, Madame Pomfrey can mend bones in a snap--" James reasoned in a perfect imitation of a pacifist.

"You shouldn't speak in that tone, it doesn't suit you," Sirius told him, still laughing. Mark and Dione glared at him.

"I'll bring her to the hospital wing," Keith volunteered gravely, if not for the fact that he just wanted to get as far away from Mark's wrath as possible.

"Go, then," Mark said, his tone softening as he nodded to Keith. Then it returned to anger as he turned back to Sirius. "Now, you--"

"C'mon, Mark, it was just an accident. That's what a Beater's supposed to do, to hit the Bludger at somebody. And it's in nature of every Bludger to unseat as many players as possible," Chase said calmly.

"Yes, but he wasn't supposed to hit it directly! The aim during practice is to pretend that the Ravenclaw's somewhere in thin air, not to injure a player and wipe out our entire team!" Mark argued.

"If you ask me, that's a pretty stupid objective," Sirius started again, sniggering.

"Sirius," Chase said exasperatedly. "Look, Mark, why don't we just resume the practice? It's not like our odds of winning against the Ravenclaws will get any better if we shout our heads off down here." Farther down the field they saw Keith returning from the hospital wing. He seemed to be taking his time in catching up with them/

"All right, then, but if you pull another trick like that, I'll really march down to Madame Hooch's office and demand your resignation."

"Sure, sure," Sirius said with a smirk. "That's the twenty-fourth time he said that in the middle of a practice this year," he said in a lower tone to James, Keith and Chase.

Chase rolled her eyes. "Mark can scream his lungs out all he wants at you, but he's never going to take you off the team. Just don't take it for granted."

"Or you'll what?" Sirius said innocently.

"Or I'll--"

"Break up with him?" James jibed.

"Personally make sure that you get back at him by going out with his worst enemy?" Keith guessed.

Chase laughed. "No, I don't think I'll go that far. The day I go out with Snape is the day--um--the day Sirius turns into a devotee to rules," she told him.

"Then the odds of Chase breaking up with me to go on a date with that--that idiot scum is zero," Sirius remarked.

"Try negative google," Chase supplied.

"Even better."

Above, Dione hovered over them. "Are you guys going to practice or not?" she demanded peevishly. She quite fancied--or rather, was overly obsessed with their Quidditch captain, and sided with him in every issue.

"Keep your hat on, we're coming," Keith complained.

Dione's face darkened. "Don't even think of aggravating Mark again, Black," she threatened Sirius.

"I'm shaking with fear," Sirius said mockingly.

Dione narrowed her eyes at him but was dignified enough not to answer. She started to fly past them and into more open air.

"Kiss butt," Chase muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Dione stopped mid-glide, turning around and glowering at Chase.

"Nothing," Chase answered innocently. She mounted her own broom and flew off. Dione soon followed.

"Yep, that's my girl all right," Sirius said proudly.

"Flaunt it while you've got it," James told him as he shot upward on his broom.

*****

An hour later, due to Sirius's constant complaints that they should have been doing this at night, Mark finally gave up and dismissed the team. Sirius, James and Chase headed back to the Gryffindor Tower, their broomsticks over their shoulders.

"Hey James, did you forget to send Snape that 'secret admirer' letter?" Sirius said suddenly.

"How would I forget? He's probably reading it right now, shocked into fits when he sees who it's from." James smirked as they faced the Fat Lady.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked. She was holding a heart-shaped card and was giggling simultaneously.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked in amazement.

The Fat Lady giggled again. "It's really none of your business," she admonished. "Password?"

"Who in his right mind would have a crush on an obese painting?" Sirius wondered aloud to James and Chase.

Chase smirked, looking over at the Fat Lady. "Keep your tone down, Sirius."

The Fat Lady was pissed off. She didn't like it (who would?) when people verbally commented on her fatness. "In case you didn't know, this card is from Sir Cadogan," she said indignantly.

The three nodded to one another. "You were right. Nobody with a right mind would think of sending her a letter," James laughed.

"Only a mad knight would pull a crazy stunt like that," Chase remarked.

The Fat Lady was about to respond when Sirius said, "Bygones be bygones."

Without a choice, the Fat Lady automatically swung open, unable to retort. The three Quidditch players climbed into the portrait hole.

Lily looked up from several neat piles of cards and letters that she had already read and counted. She glanced at Chase. "Two hundred and thirty-three," she said triumphantly.

Chase smirked. "Three hundred and thirty-four," she replied. Lily's face fell.

"Damn, why do you always beat me by one card?!" Lily exclaimed as Chase slid onto the seat next to her.

An owl swooped through the window and dropped a scarlet card onto Lily's lap. "Yes! We're even," Lily said.

"On the contrary," Chase countered. "It was 334 the last time I checked, which was over an hour ago. You never know, there might be another card in there somewhere…" She headed back to the girls' dormitory. Several second years turned to stare.

"She's got you there, Lil," James said.

Lily slumped back into her chair. "Why are my friends all heartthrobs?" she asked aloud.

"Why, thanks for the compliment," Sirius answered.

"You mean Pete is a heartthrob?" James asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, maybe not all of my friends. Meet you later at lunch." She waved her wand and the piles of cards flew off in the direction of the dorms.

When lunch time rolled around, the seven of them came down to the Great Hall. Laughter was echoing inside as they approached.

"What's happening?" Celeste asked as they headed for the Gryffindor Table. Several Slytherins were blocking something--or maybe someone from view.

An evil grin spread on Sirius's face. "I think I know what this is about," he said. They sat down on their usual seats in their table, where a number of Gryffindors were already crying with mirth.

"Ookay, what turned you guys into total lunatics?" Lily asked Sylvia, whose hand was shaking as she tried to lift a spoon to her mouth. She too was laughing her head off.

"I didn't know hilarity could cause epilepsy," Chase said dryly. She sat on the seat across from Lily, which faced away from the Slytherin Table.

Lily was just drinking a bit of water when she almost spit it all out. "Omigod," she laughed--or what a laugh would sound like when you're choking ^_^.

Celeste, who sat beside Lily, started giggling too. "Which one of you did it?" she asked the four marauders.

"Me," Sirius said proudly.

Chase, who had had enough of the rapid spreading of laughs, swung around and glanced at the Slytherin Table. There, sitting in the middle of the long table was Snape, looking extremely baffled. And his hair was dyed every color of the rainbow.

"What? What are you all laughing about?" Snape said in outrage as even the Slytherins chortled at the sight of him.

"Yo Snape, love the hair!" Chase called from the Gryffindor Table.

"Yeah, is the Pretty Rainbow Unicorn Club booming these days?" Sirius sniggered.

"Trying to set a new trend again?" a Ravenclaw catcalled from his seat.

"Is that your way of trying to impress a girl?" Lily mocked.

"Or maybe it's a boy Ms. Severa is--ah--accessorizing for," James said.

"Say that again, Potter!" Snape yelled furiously. He was obviously clueless as to why everybody was goggling and mocking and laughing at him.

"Look in a mirror!" a Hufflepuff girl shouted.

"Better not, or it'll break once he looks at it!" another Hufflepuff said loudly.

Other insults ensued (the professors were all not in, since they had a conference meeting) from the mocking crowd.

"That'd be swell, he'll have seven years of bad luck!"

"And I thought clowns looked ridiculous with their rainbow hair."

"Is that his new get-up for the Valentines' Dance?"

"I've never known anybody stupid enough to fall for the same trick that Sirius pulled twice."

"Aren't gay teens a tragedy?"

"Poor Mr. and Mrs. Snape. No matter how rotten they must be they certainly don't deserve a child like that…"

"Maybe Mrs. S wanted a girl."

"Nope, I think the gay-ness comes naturally."

The laughter didn't stop as Lucius Malfoy and his girlfriend, Narcissa Kingley, entered the room.

"What's all this racket?" Lucius said disapprovingly. He was a Slytherin prefect.

All the other prefects and the Head Boy and Girl were trying desperately to halt the insults and antics of the students, but with little success. Even the Hufflepuffs, who usually tried to prevent fights, were joining in the jeering.

"Lucius, you've got to help us, it seems like Black and Potter pulled another trick on Snape--" a Hufflepuff prefect was saying.

"Snape again? How many times do I have to tell that idiot of a Slytherin not to fall for their petty tricks?! What is it this time?" Lucius said in an annoyed tone.

"Don't be so hard on the boy, sweetheart, those dratted Gryffindors are a lot worse than him," Narcissa said soothingly.

"Lucius, from here it looks like someone from their gang sneaked into the Slytherin common room and put rainbow hair dye in Snape's shampoo--"

"They did that two months ago!" Lucius shouted, his nostrils flaring. "What wizard with a right mind would fall for the same trick twice?"

"That's just what I said a while ago!" a Ravenclaw piped up from the nearest table.

"Shut up, Walton, this is none of your business," Lucius snapped at him.

"Hurry, Lucius, you've got to do something before the Professors arrive--"

Lucius looked angrier. "You can't do anything without my help, can you? Waiting for me to do the dirty work, why I'll--"

"But you were the one who said that you were going to deal with Slytherin issues yourself!" the Hufflepuff prefect argued.

"Silence! Now, get out of the way, Davis, that fourth year needs to be taught a lesson." Lucius stalked, fuming, towards the insulting crowd that had already gathered around poor unfortunate helpless Snape. (Sorry, had to make him really pathetic ^_-)

"Snape!" Lucius barked. A fourth of the crowd, the ones in front of Lucius, backed away, leaving him with a clear view of Snape. He seemed to be the only one not finding any humor in Sirius's little trick.

"Uh-oh, that's Lucius Malfoy, we'd better skidaddle," Chase muttered to Lily. Sirius and James, too busy mocking and annoying Snape, didn't hear her.

Remus tapped them on the shoulders. "C'mon, you two, we need to go," he said urgently, though it must seem hard to say that in a serious tone when he was still on the verge of rolling around the floor, sniggering. ^_^

"What? I was just about to deliver my best line--" Sirius protested, but Chase dragged him toward the entrance of the Hall, away from the mob.

"I haven't eaten yet," James moaned as Remus and Celeste hauled him away. "I need fooood…."

"Shut up, you're starting to sound like Sirius," Chase said sarcastically.

"I thought that was Lily," Celeste reminded.

"Whatever, just run, run!" Chase said. The decibel of derogatory innuendo within the Hall had lessened tremendously, and it was obvious that Lucius had calmed the students down (or maybe threatened them to shut up or he'll unleash a curse on all of them ^_^) long enough to have proper hearing while hunting for the apparent culprit (Sirius).

"You heard her, let's go!" Peter squeaked in a frightened tone. He greatly feared Lucius Malfoy among all the Slytherins.

The seven friends barely had time to slip into the nearest secret passage (an entrance into a stone wall that opened by poking the left eye of the statue in front of it) when Narcissa and Wilkes came lumbering out. No doubt sent by Lucius to look for the offender.

James led the way to the kitchen, where the house elves gladly served them a feast. They must have stayed there for several hours before Chase reminded: "Four o'clock already. We've gotta get ready for the dance."

"Screw the dance," James said, but Lily whacked him on the head. "Ow! Okay, okay, I'm moving," he corrected, rubbing the side of his head profusely. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Ugh, It'd take more than a couple of miles of running before I can burn off all the calories I consumed today," Celeste whined. "Damn you James, you shouldn't have sent us here in the first place!"

James grinned. "Hey, it's not my fault that the house-elves fill up the plates right after we get a single piece of something."

"Curse the house elves too," Celeste muttered, causing several house elves standing by near her to flinch.

"She doesn't mean it. She always thinks she's provoked when she's complaining about her super-slow metabolism and becoming fat and developing bulimia," Chase assured the upset elves.

"Gee, thanks," Celeste snapped at her.

"And it also makes her extremely grouchy in comparison to her normal temper-builder, which is saying a lot since Celeste's a big drama queen--"

"Shut up, Chase."

"I will if you just admit that I'm slimmer than you."

"You are not!"

"I am too."

"You're not, your waistline's twenty-six and mine's twenty five--"

"You're fourteen years old and you still don't know how to use a tape measure."

"You are so--" Celeste was saying, when James broke them up, looking quite amused.

"Okay, before this turns into a very heated cat fight--"

"How dare you!" Celeste cried.

"I am not petty about matters like this," Chase objected.

"Right. I'm just trying to inform you that we need to go back to the common room, like you said." James pointed at his watch, which read 4:02.

"You still weigh more than me," Celeste told Chase.

Chase sighed. "No, I don't. In case you didn't know, my metabolism is faster than the speed in which Sirius's mouth moves when he's insulting Snape."

"You just made that up."

"Drop it, Celes."

The house elves bowed them out of the kitchens, eagerly telling them that their next visit would always be welcome. Chase was the second to the last to go out, Sirius behind her. She smirked and whispered, "Celeste's waistline is 27 inches."

*****

Lily pounded on the bathroom door. "CE-LES-TE!!! Get the bloody hell out of there, you've already been thirty minutes!"

"The delicate skin needs plenty of time to nourish," was the echoing reply.

"Crap! If I don't hear the shower off in ten seconds, I'm going to magically unlock this door and pull you out of the tub, soaped or de-soaped!!!"

"Slow and steady keeps you ready," Celeste singsonged.

"TEN….NINE…EIGHT…" Lily counted.

"Keep your head on, flower girl," Celeste called from inside.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Lily screamed. "SEVEN...SIX…FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE--"

"Whoa, Flower Power," Chase admonished, grabbing Lily's wrist before she could rip the door into a million magical pieces. "What if the guys just barge in here when you smash the door down, and they see Celes completely naked?"

"I don't care, she would deserve it," Lily said, but she literally calmed down long enough for Chase to lead her back to her bed. This time it was Chase's turn to bang on the showers.

"We're all going to be late if you don't open the freaking door, sis!" Chase called.

"Beauty takes time," Celeste answered from inside.

"Time is gold," Chase retaliated.

"Patience is a virtue," Celeste countered.

Chase glanced back at Lily. "Okay, I guess you were right. Should we bang down the door, or should we magically do it and fling her head first into her bed, without a care that the boys would come in at any moment?"

"Magically, no question," Lily answered enthusiastically.

"She usually doesn't grate on my nerves when she's taking hour-long showers, but desperate times call for drastic measures," Chase said exasperatedly.

Their wands were raised high when--

"Wait a minute, I know a way to make her bolt out faster than light," Chase said suddenly.

Lily reluctantly put down her wand. "Fine, but only because she's one of my best friends and I'm 100% feminist."

"Here goes. Roacolegiona!" Chase said, pointing down at the slit in between the floor and the door's bottom edged. Several cockroaches erupted from her wand and headed straight into the bathroom.

Barely seconds later they heard a bloodcurdling scream. "AAAAUUUUURGHHH!!!!!! Roaches! Chase, you bastard!!!"

Celeste rushed out of the room, clad only in a towel. The troop of cockroaches followed her. She screamed again. "EEEEWWW!!! Get them away, get them away!" she squealed, jumping onto her bed.

"Patience is a virtue," Chase said in a saintly voice as the roaches crawled up the sheets. Lily laughed.

"Chase! I swear I'm personally going to kill you if you don't zap them!!!" Celeste said in a panicked tone, jumping onto Lily's bed.

"Later, sister love," Chase taunted, grabbing several fluffy white towels and entering the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Lily! Do something!" Celeste shouted.

"Keep your head on," Lily repeated Celeste's words with a smirk. "There's a wand next to you, genius girl. Use it if you need it."

"I'll murder you! I'm not going to rest until I learn the Avada Kedavra Curse! I'll--" Celeste screamed as a roach crawled up her leg. She slapped it away. "Eeeeew! Disgusting! Gross!"

"Words won't help you kill a cockroach," Lily said wisely.

Celeste gave up, grabbed Lily's wand and kept yelling "Incendio! Incendio!"

"Stupid. Stupefy them, if need be."

"Stupefy!!!!" Celeste shrieked. The roaches instantly froze, unconscious.

"Is she in her rational self now?" Chase called from the bathroom.

"Still unidentifiable. She might be seeing red, and I might have to dodge a bunch of hexes--"

"Furnunculus! Skalinta Oculus! Squallorine--"

"Petrificus Totalus!" Lily cried. Celeste instantly became rigid and fell onto the floor.

Chase stepped out of the bathroom. "Hey, you forgot, she's just in a towel--"

Lily's hand flew to her mouth. "I forgot!" She righted Celeste, who was looking vindictive (almost like Ridgewood ^_^).

The remaining hour proved slightly better, since Celeste knew that she deserved what she got, and she thought that Lily and Chase would look like 'total fashion disasters' if she didn't deal with them.

"Okay, all done!" she announced happily as she finally allowed Chase to stand up from her seat. Celeste had spent twenty whole minutes applying makeup to her sister.

"Jeez, I think I've got a stiff neck already after all your fusses," Chase complained.

Celeste tutted as she zippered up her bulging makeup kit. "There, now we're all ready to go--"

"Celeste, I need you over here! My hair's limp!" Lily shouted from across the room.

Celeste shrugged her bare shoulders. "Duty calls," she said as she glided toward her distressed friend.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she approached.

"It's my hair, I don't know what to do with it--"

"I never thought I'd see the day when Lily Evans actually cares about how she should be doing her hair," Chase piped up behind Celeste.

"Okay, let's think. What's the best thing to do with red, shoulder-length hair?" Celeste wondered aloud, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"It's not limp, Lil," Chase assured her.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked.

Celeste's eyes lit up. "I know! The right thing for limp hair is--"

"You said it wasn't limp!" Lily cried to Chase, starting to look panicked again.

"Let's do one of those mini-buns on your head!" Celeste exclaimed.

"What the hell is that?" Chase demanded.

"Here, I'll show you," Celeste said gleefully. "Accio hairpins!"

She took a thin bundle of Lily's hair, near the top of her head, and artfully rolled it into a small bun. She stuck two hairpins into it, and it miraculously stayed.

"Ta-dah! Isn't it great?" Celeste said.

"It looks like an alien growth or something--" Lily moaned.

"That's because I've only done one. It'll look really cool once I finish it," Celeste said, thumbing through Lily's hair again.

When she was done, the other two turned to observe her work.

"Yay! Now you look like a fairy-tale princess--"

"I thought that was your call," Chase said with a smirk.

"C'mon, Lil! What d'you think?" Celeste urged her.

Lily tilted her head from side to side, looking at the neat row of buns running across the front top of her head. "Are you sure that I don't look like one of the Teletubbies?" she whined.

Celeste laughed. "You definitely don't. Now, let's go, they're probably waiting for us down at the common room…"

*****

AN - One word: REVIEW!!!