Disclaimer: You know how it goes.
A/N: This is Aisha's POV. I know the story is supposed to focus mostly on Rocky, I decided a couple chapters describing how Aisha feels wouldn't hurt. And just for the record so you aren't confused later, this chapter takes place on the Sunday after the dance.
Chapter Four
I had a lot of expectations for the dance. I was expecting to have fun with my friends. I was expecting to get my mind off missing Adam for a few hours.
But I definitely wasn't expecting Rocky to tell me he loved me.
I felt as if I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I never even saw it coming.
I couldn't imagine how hurt and jealous he's been feeling ever since Adam and I started going out. How could I have put him through so much pain and not even know it?
I mean, how could I have not been able to see that he loved me? How could I have not noticed the things he did for me, even after I started going out with Adam, that were meant to show me he cared for me as more than a friend? (It's like, duh. The fact that he begged me to go to the dance should have given it away. But did I pay attention to the little details. Of course not.) He's my best friend after all. I should have at least had the slightest hint that he loved me. But no. I was too caught up in Adam that I didn't pay much attention to Rocky.
And it makes me feel like such a horrible person. My heart broke when he told me how he felt at the dance. It made me so sad. I remember sitting outside for the rest of the night, crying. I had hurt my best friend in a way I never thought I could. But what makes me so upset with myself is the fact that I left him out a lot. The guy's been my best friend for years, and he's loved me for months, for crying out loud! God knows how jealous he was! And what did I do? I ignored him, just because I started going out with someone else! Well, I didn't really ignore him as a person, but I ignored his emotions and how we was feeling. Okay, maybe I honestly couldn't tell that he liked me as more than a friend, but that's no excuse for not being as concerned for him as I was before. If I was, maybe I would have figured out how he felt sooner and he wouldn't have had to go through so much pain for such a long time. How could I have been so cruel? What kind of friend am I, anyway?
I spent the whole weekend just thinking about what happened between Rocky and me at the dance. Our slow dance together; talking outside under the stars; his sweet, soft kiss…
The kiss…I still can't get my mind off that kiss. It was perfect; even though I had objected to it at first, it was still amazing. I never knew Rocky knew how to kiss a girl like he had kissed me.
And because of that, I'll probably never look at Rocky the same way anymore. It's not that I'll look at him as my lover, because as hard as it is to admit, and as much as I know it would totally devastate Rocky, I don't love him as more than a friend. But you see, I've always just seen him as my best friend that likes to joke around a lot. Now, though, I've seen a totally different side of him. And I think that the sensitive, romantic Rocky that I saw at the dance will be how I view him for the rest of my life.
But did the fact that Rocky kissed me mean I had cheated on Adam?
No, it didn't. Rocky kissed me. But then again, I didn't push him away. I know I had objected to it at first, but once he started kissing me, I didn't stop him. I even kissed him back! But still, he was the one who wanted to kiss me.
This is all so confusing.
And awkward. Everything that happened at the dance put me in a funny situation.
I'm not sure how I'm going to face Adam in school tomorrow. Just talking to him over the phone for fifteen minutes earlier this morning was like torture. Although he didn't mention the dance, it made me think of how much Rocky loved me, too. And having to keep mine and Rocky's kiss a secret from Adam wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to do, either, and I'm sure it won't become any easier. (I think defeating one of Rita and Zedd's monsters is a more feasible task.) I tell Adam everything. And he knows me better than anyone else. (Except maybe Rocky.) He'll be able to tell that I'm keeping something from him.
I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive seeing Adam in school tomorrow. I just know Rocky will be depressed when he sees us together again. And that will make me feel hurt, too. And I don't know how I'll manage to keep quiet about the dance. I know my other friends are going to bring it up as soon as they see Adam. I guess I'm just going to have to find a way to avoid the topic.
And I'm going to pray that neither Rocky nor I will slip and blurt out the secret.
A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews you guys are sending! Keep them coming - I love to know what you guys think about my work.