The Parable of the Cow and the Sofa
By: Uncle Yohji and Nephew Omi
Disclaimer:
Uncle Yohji: We don't own anything in this story. Nephew Omi: No literally, we don't own Parkay, we don't even USE Parkay. Uncle Yohji: So you see we both ask you not to sue us, for we own nothing of real value. We also don't own Velcro...We don't own poptarts... Nephew Omi: WE DO EAT POPTARTS. Uncle Yohji: Yes we do. Nephew Omi: So...where did the vending machine come from? Uncle Yohji: Shhh
NOW ON TO THE STORY
*Poke, poke*
"What is it?"
*Poke, poke*
"Is it alive?"
*Poke, poke*
"Is it human?"
"Is it edible?"
"ASHITARE!!!!"
"NOOOOOO MIAKAAAAA................."
"What happened? Why did this happen? How did this happen?" Hotohori rambled.
"MIAKAAAAAAAAAA..."
Tasuki blinked. Chichiri blinked. "Come on Tamahome," Tasuki said, pulling Tamahome towards a random door that appeared. "Coming Chichiri?" he called back to the blue haired monk. Chichiri nodded and followed behind Tamahome and Tasuki.
Chiriko blinked. "We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the door come from?!?"
"Shhh." Chiriko blinked...again. There was much blinking going on.
Nuriko looked at Hotohori. He looked at the random bed. Then he looked back at Hotohori. Then he dragged Hotohori over to the bed.
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the bed come from?!?"
"Shhh." Chiriko...blinked...again.
"Where is Yui?" Suboshi asked." Yui? NOOOOOO!!!!"
Everyone turned...and blinked.
"Why, brother, what is wrong?" Amiboshi asked. Suboshi pointed.
"Oh."
*Ding*
"Oooo, look an elevator, lets go." He pulled Suboshi to the elevator.
"We're in the middle of the forest WHERE did the elevator come from?"
"Shhh." Once again Chiriko blinked.
Tomo sat under a tree...contemplating...on how he was going to kill Soi.
'Death by giant bug....nah to cliche. Hmmm think think think.' He sat and thought some more. 'Death by suffocation, nah to elaborate.' He thought more. A little light bulb went off over his head...literally, 'Gah that won't work...oh well.'
*PUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFH* *HONK, HONK*
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the bus come from?"
"Shhh." Yes Chiriko blinked.
"TOMO," *GLOMP* "MY HERO!!!" *huggles*
Tomo smiled, looking down at Nakago, laughing quietly.
(A.N: Nephew Omi: How did the bus hit her but not him? Uncle Yohji: Let's not get into that right now. Nephew Omi: *shrug*)
Miboshi pointed at the ground. "Hey look, POCKY! Lets play Janken pon!"
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the pocky come from?" Chiriko...blinked.
"The vending machine," Mitsukake answered wisely, pointing.
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the vending machine come from?"
"The mini mall."
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the mini mall come from?"
"Suburban Spread..." he held up a butter container, "I can't believe it's not Parkay (r)"
"We're in the middle of the forset, WHERE did the Suburban Spread come from?"
"...The...vending machine." Chiriko blinked...once more.
Nakago and Tomo stood in front of the vending machine.
"Hmm, Velcro(r)...Poptarts(r)...Dehydrated Gazebos (just add water)...Pie...Flaming Fan...Shampoo...Pie...Suburban Spread...Pocky...Pie...Killer Yo-Yo (use at your own risk)...Gundanium Gel [for all your hair care needs (found at shop no bishounen)]...Ramen...Pie...Whip Cream (r) (raising of the eyebrow)...AHA Dehydrated Waterbed (just add water)!" Nakago read off. Tomo pushed in D22.
"Now all we have to do is find some water."
"Where do we get that?" Nakago asked.
A sudden bright red light (not pink that's Tenkou) appeared as did Suzaku. " 'Scuse me, maintinence," he pushed Tomo and Nakago aside and set the huge box he was carrying by the vending machine. He opened up the machine with a special little key thingy and began some fancy official-looking rituals of counting, sorting, and rotating it's contents. He finally turned to the box and began refilling the empty slots with mysterious looking tin cans. After emptying the moneybox he flew off in another flash of red light, (his pockets jingling from all that spare change).
Everyone stood still for a few seconds...guess what? Blinking.
"Well I guess you gotta do something in your spare time"
Tomo and Nakago turned back to the vending machine to see what the new addition was.
"Dehydrated water in a can! Just add water for delicious refreshing water! PERFECT!" Tomo keyed in D27.
"Yes! Now..all we need is some water...."
"Where are we gonna get water in the middle of a forest?"
"...The pond?"
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the pond c-- never mind..."
Tomo and Nakago ran off to the pond with the dehydrated water and the dehydrated waterbed.
Meanwhile, Mitsukake and Tama-neko were strapping on pink frilly aprons and began mixing delactated chocolate milk, dehydrated milk, dehydrated water, and water to make some chocolate milk. They were just about done when Tomo ran back for more dehydrated water and some whip cream.
So, Mitsukake, Tama-neko, Miboshi, and Ashitare all sat down at the card table eating pocky, drinking chocolate milk, and playing Janken pon.
And they all lived happily ever after.
(A.N: Nephew Omi- They're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the card table come from? Uncle Yohji - Shhh...) The End
BUT WHERE DID THE VENDING MACHINE COME FROM?!?!?!?!?
Disclaimer:
Uncle Yohji: We don't own anything in this story. Nephew Omi: No literally, we don't own Parkay, we don't even USE Parkay. Uncle Yohji: So you see we both ask you not to sue us, for we own nothing of real value. We also don't own Velcro...We don't own poptarts... Nephew Omi: WE DO EAT POPTARTS. Uncle Yohji: Yes we do. Nephew Omi: So...where did the vending machine come from? Uncle Yohji: Shhh
NOW ON TO THE STORY
*Poke, poke*
"What is it?"
*Poke, poke*
"Is it alive?"
*Poke, poke*
"Is it human?"
"Is it edible?"
"ASHITARE!!!!"
"NOOOOOO MIAKAAAAA................."
"What happened? Why did this happen? How did this happen?" Hotohori rambled.
"MIAKAAAAAAAAAA..."
Tasuki blinked. Chichiri blinked. "Come on Tamahome," Tasuki said, pulling Tamahome towards a random door that appeared. "Coming Chichiri?" he called back to the blue haired monk. Chichiri nodded and followed behind Tamahome and Tasuki.
Chiriko blinked. "We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the door come from?!?"
"Shhh." Chiriko blinked...again. There was much blinking going on.
Nuriko looked at Hotohori. He looked at the random bed. Then he looked back at Hotohori. Then he dragged Hotohori over to the bed.
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the bed come from?!?"
"Shhh." Chiriko...blinked...again.
"Where is Yui?" Suboshi asked." Yui? NOOOOOO!!!!"
Everyone turned...and blinked.
"Why, brother, what is wrong?" Amiboshi asked. Suboshi pointed.
"Oh."
*Ding*
"Oooo, look an elevator, lets go." He pulled Suboshi to the elevator.
"We're in the middle of the forest WHERE did the elevator come from?"
"Shhh." Once again Chiriko blinked.
Tomo sat under a tree...contemplating...on how he was going to kill Soi.
'Death by giant bug....nah to cliche. Hmmm think think think.' He sat and thought some more. 'Death by suffocation, nah to elaborate.' He thought more. A little light bulb went off over his head...literally, 'Gah that won't work...oh well.'
*PUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFH* *HONK, HONK*
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the bus come from?"
"Shhh." Yes Chiriko blinked.
"TOMO," *GLOMP* "MY HERO!!!" *huggles*
Tomo smiled, looking down at Nakago, laughing quietly.
(A.N: Nephew Omi: How did the bus hit her but not him? Uncle Yohji: Let's not get into that right now. Nephew Omi: *shrug*)
Miboshi pointed at the ground. "Hey look, POCKY! Lets play Janken pon!"
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the pocky come from?" Chiriko...blinked.
"The vending machine," Mitsukake answered wisely, pointing.
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the vending machine come from?"
"The mini mall."
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the mini mall come from?"
"Suburban Spread..." he held up a butter container, "I can't believe it's not Parkay (r)"
"We're in the middle of the forset, WHERE did the Suburban Spread come from?"
"...The...vending machine." Chiriko blinked...once more.
Nakago and Tomo stood in front of the vending machine.
"Hmm, Velcro(r)...Poptarts(r)...Dehydrated Gazebos (just add water)...Pie...Flaming Fan...Shampoo...Pie...Suburban Spread...Pocky...Pie...Killer Yo-Yo (use at your own risk)...Gundanium Gel [for all your hair care needs (found at shop no bishounen)]...Ramen...Pie...Whip Cream (r) (raising of the eyebrow)...AHA Dehydrated Waterbed (just add water)!" Nakago read off. Tomo pushed in D22.
"Now all we have to do is find some water."
"Where do we get that?" Nakago asked.
A sudden bright red light (not pink that's Tenkou) appeared as did Suzaku. " 'Scuse me, maintinence," he pushed Tomo and Nakago aside and set the huge box he was carrying by the vending machine. He opened up the machine with a special little key thingy and began some fancy official-looking rituals of counting, sorting, and rotating it's contents. He finally turned to the box and began refilling the empty slots with mysterious looking tin cans. After emptying the moneybox he flew off in another flash of red light, (his pockets jingling from all that spare change).
Everyone stood still for a few seconds...guess what? Blinking.
"Well I guess you gotta do something in your spare time"
Tomo and Nakago turned back to the vending machine to see what the new addition was.
"Dehydrated water in a can! Just add water for delicious refreshing water! PERFECT!" Tomo keyed in D27.
"Yes! Now..all we need is some water...."
"Where are we gonna get water in the middle of a forest?"
"...The pond?"
"We're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the pond c-- never mind..."
Tomo and Nakago ran off to the pond with the dehydrated water and the dehydrated waterbed.
Meanwhile, Mitsukake and Tama-neko were strapping on pink frilly aprons and began mixing delactated chocolate milk, dehydrated milk, dehydrated water, and water to make some chocolate milk. They were just about done when Tomo ran back for more dehydrated water and some whip cream.
So, Mitsukake, Tama-neko, Miboshi, and Ashitare all sat down at the card table eating pocky, drinking chocolate milk, and playing Janken pon.
And they all lived happily ever after.
(A.N: Nephew Omi- They're in the middle of the forest, WHERE did the card table come from? Uncle Yohji - Shhh...) The End
BUT WHERE DID THE VENDING MACHINE COME FROM?!?!?!?!?