A/N: Alright, you convinced me. Thanks to all of you who made me "see the light." I'm starting to feel a little guilty about even suggesting I'd abandon it, but once I started writing again, I realized I liked some of the characters far too much to just let them go (I won't say which ones because I don't want to play faves).
So here you go, chapter 5 (or chapter 4b). I hope it lives up to your expectations.
And please excuse my (possibly atrocious) French, I haven't had anything to do with the language for the past three years, and had to call on my rusty skills and English-to-French dictionary to do King Charmant's part.
Chapter 5Kingdom 3: "Dinner with the royals"
A stray piece of steamed broccoli suddenly sailed across the length of the dinner table, landing solidly against Luke's forehead before slipping down his face, to fall into his lap.
"Oops. Sorry," Terrence called out, an expression on his face that left little doubt that his "accident" was hardly that. He was met with the scowling face of his second brother.
"Terry," David scolded with a pointed look, but the gesture was softened by the mirth dancing in his usually serious gray eyes. And while Terrence had the decency to actually look contrite this time, he knew not to take his brother's disapproval too seriously. Luke, apparently, had also noticed David's amusement for he now sent glares to both brothers, alternating from one to the other. As usual, neither King Charmant nor Queen Rose noticed a thing, so engrossed were they in each other.
"Ma belle marie, you look more ravishing each time I lay eyes on you," Charmant told his wife, kissing the back of her hand gracefully. The queen giggled, and all the royal children shared looks of disgust, except for little Rebecca, who was too engrossed in the task of stuffing peas up her nose to pay any heed.
The king sat at the head of the table, his wife just to his left so they could be near each other at all times. At the other end of the table sat David, to his right, on the other side of Queen Rose, was Terrence, who always insisted on sitting next to his eldest brother, and to his left was Rebecca, close enough so he could watch over her. Next to Rebecca, to his father's right, sat Luke, who preferred to be as far away from the watchful gaze of his older brother as possible.
"Becca, darling," Queen Rose said, finally noticing her daughter's actions. "Peas do not belong up your nose. Please take them out, right now."
David winced and closed his eyes, knowing what was coming next. After seventeen-odd years as a parent, his mother had yet to learn a thing about children. Rebecca promptly put one finger up to the empty nostril and blew hard, sending the peas flying into her mashed potatoes. Luke and Terrence burst into laughter, Charmant rolled his eyes in annoyance, and Rose gasped in what could only be described as mild horror.
Finally, turning to her eldest, she asked, "David, honey, could you please do something about—that?"
Having already anticipated the request, David grabbed a napkin and turned to his sister, first cleaning her nose and then removing the tainted portion of the potatoes from her plate. "From now on, the food goes only in your mouth, okay?" he said, looking into the serious blue eyes.
Rebecca nodded, "'Kay, Davey."
The queen smiled in relief. "Oh, David, you are so good with them," she commended.
"Yes, David, you'll make an excellent mother one day," Luke snickered.
"Shut up, Lucy," Terrence interjected, quickly coming to David's defence. "You're just mad because David's way better than you in every way."
"Luc, Terry," the king warned, "we are here to enjoy our dinner, we will have no arguing, comprendez-vous?"
"Tell David to get his knight in shining armor off my back," Luke muttered petulantly, to which Terrence responded by sticking out his tongue.
"Luc," his father said sternly.
Luke decided to let the matter drop. He didn't want to risk truly angering his father and being sent to his room, and thus missing the fun he had plotted earlier. That wouldn't do at all. So he sat back quietly, pretending to return to his dinner, all the while avoiding David's gaze.
David watched his brother carefully, not having forgotten their earlier encounter in the kitchen. So far dinner had proceeded rather smoothly, with only the usual antics but he knew Luke was up to something, just waiting to hatch the plan that was brewing in his head. Now if he only knew what form it would take, maybe he could prevent him from doing too much damage. There was a gleam in the Luke's eyes that he just didn't trust; he had seen it far too many times during the past fifteen years to dismiss its implications. And why did Luke suddenly seem so interested in their father?
Luke watched intently as the king applied butter to the roll of bread in his hand, each second bringing him closer to his newest triumph. Unconsciously, he leaned forward in his seat. Just one more moment… somewhere in the back of his mind he noticed that his mouth had begun watering.
Something was happening, David knew for sure. Luke was like a dog looking at a bone, though David just couldn't grasp why. He looked toward his father, who was doing nothing unusual, only preparing to take a bite out of a roll of bread… the bread!
Terrence observed both of his brothers, as one watched the other, and the other watched their father. Something was going on, and his ten-year-old brain struggled hard to grasp what it was. Suddenly, David's eyes widened in horror as some realization struck him, and it bothered Terrence deeply to see such an expression on his face. It had to be Luke's fault.
Luke felt a smile stretching across his face as his father took a healthy-sized bite out of the roll. Chew, chew, and—
The king was suddenly seized with a horrible coughing fit and he spat out the offending bite of bread, which due to his unfortunate aim, landed right in the middle of his wife's plate. The queen let out a shocked cry while her husband continued to cough and wheeze, "Water! Water!"
Regaining her senses, Rose grabbed a pitcher and filled the nearest empty glass, watching as her husband alternated between swallowing large mouthfuls, and gargling and spitting it out on the ground.
Getting up from his seat, David hissed, "Luke!"
"What?" Luke asked in what would have been an utterly innocent manner, if it weren't for his sputtering laughter.
"Luke!" Rose exclaimed. "Did you have something to do with this?" She pointed toward Charmant, who had finally managed to get himself under some semblance of control, but was still too busy chugging down glassfuls of water to say anything.
"Of course not," Luke replied, still giggling wildly.
"Then why are you laughing?" David countered.
Luke sighed, wiping away a single tear. His laughter was finally fading, but that damnable grin was still there. "Because, David," he said slowly, punctuating each syllable, "it was funny. You do know what funny is, don't you?"
David felt a soft tug on his sleeve and looked down into Rebecca's worried eyes. "What's wrong with daddy, Davey?"
"Nothing, Becca, he just ate something—bad," he replied reassuringly. Rebecca scrunched up her nose and looked toward her father. He seemed recovered, although anger was quickly seeping into his face.
"Luc," he fairly growled, "Va a ta chambre."
Uh-oh. He was speaking only in French, which either meant he was flirting, or really angry. Somehow Luke didn't think it was the former. "Ah, come on, it was just a jo—"
"Maintenant!" The tone brooked no room for argument.
"Fine," Luke declared in a huff, rising up from his seat and stalking out of the room. Terrence and Rebecca huddled further into their seats, unnerved by the whole scene and the tension still palpable in the room.
Rose looked down at the table and sighed as realization hit her. Half the silverware was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Later that evening the royal couple sat before a roaring fireplace, sipping on wine. The rest of dinner had passed in an unusual silence, without even a peep from the two youngest. David too had remained silent, but that was a less than remarkable occurrence.
"What are we going to do about that boy?" Rose sighed as she leaned into her husband's chest.
"Personally, I would like to take him over my knee and pull out de switch."
"Charmant!" Rose gasped. "That is simply cruel. Besides, he is fifteen years old; you can't start this sort of thing now. It's far too late."
"Now he is too old, before he was too young… All I know is that garçon grows more infuriating with each passing day," Charmant declared.
Rose let out another soft sigh. "Well, Snow is having that ball next week, perhaps she or Ella could provide some insight then."
Charmant snorted in a manner most unlike his usual charming self. "From what I have heard, they are having little more success with their own children."
"What happened to the good old days when princes rescued princesses, they got married and lived happily ever after?" Rose asked wistfully.
"I suppose not all are so lucky as us," her husband replied, kissing her deeply.
"Um, darling," she said, breaking away from his mouth after some time.
"Yes, ma chere?" Charmant asked, trailing kisses along her jaw.
"There's something I have to tell you."
"Oui?" At her ear now, nibbling and teasing.
"I'm pregnant."
Sudden pause.
"Merde."
TBC insert evil laughter
A/N: Just on a side note, in case anyone was wondering about Charmant's reaction… I had that very response when I was once unfortunate enough to take a bite of something that had been too liberally dosed with garlic powder. It causes immediate gagging. I'm not kidding… don't ever try it, except maybe as an April Fool's joke. No, wait, I didn't say that. I am *not* a bad influence.
Translations ~ "ma belle marie" = my beautiful wife; "comprendez-vous" = do you understand; "va a ta chambre" = go to your room; "maintenant" = now; "oui" = yes; "merde" = ahem shit