Oct 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it all belongs to Lucasfilm *sighs* I only wish I did!
You did What?!
Chapter 2
Jacen was stepping out of the sonic shower when a knock sounded on the door to the Skywalker home. He groaned, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. Who would be knocking now? If that was Danni, she'd be getting a piece of his mind. Stepping out of the refresher, he shook his head to get the water from his hair before stepping to the door and keying it open. "Danni, I swear-"
He froze. The figure in the hallway wasn't Danni. Her copper strands were cascading over a cloak that was almost identical in color. An elegant face with gracefully slanted eyebrows over gray eyes revealed her complete shock as her full lower lip dropped in surprise. Dressed in a pair of dark brown leggings and form fitting tunic, he was suddenly swallowing hard, his heart hammering in his chest. He'd know those legs anywhere. Tenel Ka.
"Jacen?" her voice was soft, disbelieving. Almost pleading in nature.
He could only stare as she took a step backwards and looked at him. His gaze stayed focused on her face as her gray eyes examined his face, her throat working convulsively as they trailed over his hair, touching the line of his neatly trimmed beard before sliding down his neck and over his muscled shoulders. He felt the heart of her gaze as if it was her touch caressing his naked chest, lingering on the assortment of scars he'd gathered in his days as a captive. He saw the heat in her gaze as she took in the muscle tone covering his body. His captivity had forced him to grow up. He felt her gaze continue downwards, across his flat stomach, noting how she counted the ridges in his stomach before her gaze settled on the towel around his waist.
He saw her realize he wore nothing else as color flooded her normally pale cheeks. Her gaze jerked back to his and tears shimmered in their depths. Jacen found his motor functions as she stepped towards him and opened the door for her. She stepped inside, kicking the door from his grasp before he could close it on his own, and launched herself at him.
Soaking wet from his shower, water droplets clinging to his skin, he found his back suddenly pressed against the unyielding surface of the wall. Tenel Ka's arms encircled him as best they could, hugging him tightly against her soft body. He swallowed hard as she buried her face in his shoulder, his name a broken chant on her lips.
"Jacen... Oh Jacen!"
He hugged her back, holding her more tightly than he'd ever held anyone in his life. He felt her gasp for breath momentarily before returning the constricting pressure with her good arm. "Hello, Tenel Ka."
She lifted her face, a slow, brilliant smile stretching across her lips at the sound of his voice. "You are here! You-"
He didn't give her the chance to continue, simply lowered his head and captured her trembling lips with his own. Fire and lightning raced through his veins as she opened her mouth to him, her hand grasping the knot of the towel on his hip.
Jacen lifted his hands, sliding them up over the soft fabric of her cape until he reached her shoulders. Without looking, he unclasped it and dropped the fabric to the floor. "Tenel Ka." He murmured her name against her lips, tasting the salt from her tears. She slowly pulled away, reluctant to end the kiss.
"Jacen?"
He looked down into her pleading eyes, reading the need for reassurance. "I'm really here, Tenel Ka. Honest. I'm not a dream."
She inhaled sharply, the sound shaky, as she searched his eyes. Her hand left his waist to cup the side of his face. With gentle fingers she traced the neat beard on his face, ran her hand through his curly hair, felt the definition in the muscles of his neck and shoulders. She pinched him once, on the shoulders, and he yelped. "What was that for?"
Tears spilled over her cheeks again. "You are real!"
"This is a fact."
She blinked. "Yes. Fact."
He bent his head and gently kissed the edge of her mouth. "I've missed you, Tenel Ka."
Slowly, she stepped back from him, but never out of touching range, as she slid her hands over his chest to the large scar below his ribs. "You have been wounded."
His hand caught hers and lifted it to his lips. "That didn't hurt nearly so much as losing you. I'm sorry I left you."
She blinked rapidly, clearing her eyes. "It was not your choice. I missed you as well. I have not been myself since you were taken from us."
He kissed her finger tips, searching her gaze as he did so. "Did you believe I was dead?"
Tenel Ka nodded, curling her hand around his. "I felt you die. I... I did not want to live without you."
He could see what the admission cost her, but knew she felt it necessary he know. "I love you, Tenel Ka." He told her softly, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of her knuckles, "The thought of getting back to you helped keep me going."
She swallowed hard; he could see her throat working, and stepped closer to him, laying her head against his chest. She was silent for long moments before stepping back, her gray eyes serious. "Jacen?"
"Yes?"
"Perhaps you should dress before we continue this conversation. Your towel is hanging at a dangerous angle."
Jacen glanced down to find that the knot in the side had indeed begun to come loose. He met her gaze again, lifting his other hand to caress her cheek briefly. "I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable."
Tenel Ka held his hand until their fingers slipped through one another's and watched as he stepped back into the refresher. She began to tremble the moment he was out of sight. She'd given up hope of ever seeing him again. Tears burned behind her eyes as she stared at the doorway. He was back. He was alive. And she was never going to let him get away again.
Tenel Ka was still staring at the door to the refresher when Jacen stepped out a few moments later. A pair of loose leggings and a comfortable tunic that stretched across his chest, emphasizing his muscles, had replaced the small towel. He was rolling the sleeves up over his forearms as he walked towards her. She didn't move, didn't want to move, as he walked towards her. Her own arms were bare, the short sleeved tunic she wore defining the changes that had taken place in her body in the time they'd been separated. She'd last seen him as a girl growing to love him. Now, she was a woman who knew her heart through the darkest of trials. She fought against the tightness in her throat as he met her gaze.
His brown eyes were clear, yet she could see the marks his experiences had left on his soul. He was no longer innocent to the ways of the galaxy. Her heart ached at the knowledge she saw reflected in the brandy-colored depths. Jacen was no longer a strange to pain.
He moved past her, his pace easy as he stepped into the kitchenette and rummaged around for two glasses. She allowed her gaze to travel over him again, noting the muscular definition of his chest for a second time. Whatever his captivity had been, it had helped hone his body for battle and action. He'd lost his baby fat and she had to admit the thought of holding him close to her again sent desire racing through her system. Her mouth was dry as she watched him pour two mugs of caf.
"I'm not going to disappear, Tenel Ka."
She jerked, blinking. "I am sorry. I did not mean to stare."
He picked up both mugs, carrying them to the couch and motioned for her to sit. "Yes you did. I don't blame you, it's been a long time since we've seen each other."
She accepted the cup he offered her, curling her hand around his fingers as she met his gaze. He settled on the couch next to her, just shy of having their thighs brushing. "It feels like a lifetime."
He reluctantly pulled his hand free and sipped his own caf. "It was a lifetime. You're the Queen Mother now and I've changed. I'll be the first to admit that. Alot happened to me while I was gone."
She took a sip of her own drink, welcoming the warmth that spread through her system. The stimulant was unnecessary, she found herself thinking, she was stimulated enough just being around him again. She was continually fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. Having a glass in her hand made that impossible but it didn't stop the impulse. She was quiet as he paused, as if searching for the right words, his eyes serious.
She just about dropped her caf when his hand reached out to stroke the skin of her upper arm. Her left arm. For some inexplicable reason, the gesture touched her. Nobody liked to acknowledge her injury, yet Jacen was accepting it as he always had; as a part of her. "I've caused you alot of harm over the years, Tenel Ka, and I'm sorry for that. I regret having caused you pain with my capture, I never wanted that. Whatever has happened to me, whatever will happen, nothing has changed the feelings I have for you. I loved you when we were at the Jedi Temple, I loved you while I was fighting to learn to deal with the Embrace of Pain and I love you now."
She was quiet at his admission, unable to find the words. More than anything she'd wanted to hear those words from him, she had for a long time, but that was before things had changed. Before she'd believed him dead, before she'd been forced to take on her royal responsibilities. She placed the cup on the table and clasped her hand with his, their fingers twining together. "Jacen. I have longed to hear you speak such words, I have dreamt of them every night for years, yet I find I cannot accept them."
His heart jerked painfully in his chest and he sucked in a sharp breath. Surely she wasn't serious! He reached up to cup her face in his hand, searching her eyes pleadingly. Her gray eyes were serious, sad. "Why?" He swallowed hard, waiting for her answer.
Tears shimmered in her eyes again, "I am the Queen Mother of the Hapes Cluster. As a Princess I was free to love you but now I cannot. I must not. Fact. I want nothing more than to be able to. If I get involved with you my government would bring our relationship under scrutiny. This I will not allow."
He breath came out in a whoosh. She was pushing him away for political reasons. He could deal with that. "And the Queen Mother isn't allowed to have illicit affairs?"
She blinked. "Was that a joke?"
He shook his head, smiling softly. "No, Tenel Ka. I can see it in your eyes that you love me but I know what it is to be in a political jam. Must our relationship be in the spotlight?"
"In my position, everything is in the... spotlight."
He chuckled. "True, but you're here today without an escort. Am I to believe that the resourceful Dathomirian warrior, who now commands one of the most powerful Star clusters in the galaxy, can't find some way to slip away on occasion?"
Her lips twitched, her gray eyes suddenly dancing. "Power has its uses."
"That's what I thought. I don't want to play games, Tenel Ka. Someday, when this war is over, I hope to ask you to marry me."
Her shock radiated like a wave through the Force, one that was quickly suppressed. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping for the second time of the day. "You are not serious?"
"Oh, but I am," he stroked her cheek, watching the emotions flicker through her eyes. "I don't want to scare you, Tenel Ka, but you should know my intentions."
She blinked slowly. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, I will marry you when this war is over."
His heart jumped, his fingers tightening on her before a slow smile crossed his lips. He leaned down and gently kissed her, capturing her sigh with his lips. He pulled away, ending the kiss just as quickly as it started. "Do you really love me?"
Her eyes fluttered open and she nodded solemnly. "Yes."
"I need to hear you say the words, please?"
A small, surprising smile crossed her lips. "I love you, Jacen Solo."
He took a deep breath, the words having a surprising calming effect on his system. They would be alright. Together, they would be ok. "Thank you."
She inclined her head, her face again impassive. "I will have to treat you differently in public." She warned after a long moment of silence.
"I know." He kissed the backs of her fingers, gently stroking them. "I won't take it wrong if you have to ignore me because of your position. Promise me that we'll find time for us."
"Can you live like this, Jacen?"
Her question was serious, uncertain. "Knowing that you're out there waiting for me? Yes. Can you?"
"I do not have a choice if I wish this."
He pulled her into his arms, tucking her close to his heart as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. She curled into him, allowing him to pull her into his lap. Against her every independent instinct, she melted against him. "The next time I see you will probably be with lots of other people," he told her softly. "If I steal you from a private function for a walk or a trip to the balcony, is that considered improper by Hapan standards?"
"No."
"Good."
Content to hold her, he sat in the corner of the couch. Too soon she would have to go about her business. Too soon he would have to let her walk away from him. A smile curved his lips as the thought finished. No matter how many times she would walk away, she'd always come back.
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it all belongs to Lucasfilm *sighs* I only wish I did!
You did What?!
Chapter 2
Jacen was stepping out of the sonic shower when a knock sounded on the door to the Skywalker home. He groaned, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. Who would be knocking now? If that was Danni, she'd be getting a piece of his mind. Stepping out of the refresher, he shook his head to get the water from his hair before stepping to the door and keying it open. "Danni, I swear-"
He froze. The figure in the hallway wasn't Danni. Her copper strands were cascading over a cloak that was almost identical in color. An elegant face with gracefully slanted eyebrows over gray eyes revealed her complete shock as her full lower lip dropped in surprise. Dressed in a pair of dark brown leggings and form fitting tunic, he was suddenly swallowing hard, his heart hammering in his chest. He'd know those legs anywhere. Tenel Ka.
"Jacen?" her voice was soft, disbelieving. Almost pleading in nature.
He could only stare as she took a step backwards and looked at him. His gaze stayed focused on her face as her gray eyes examined his face, her throat working convulsively as they trailed over his hair, touching the line of his neatly trimmed beard before sliding down his neck and over his muscled shoulders. He felt the heart of her gaze as if it was her touch caressing his naked chest, lingering on the assortment of scars he'd gathered in his days as a captive. He saw the heat in her gaze as she took in the muscle tone covering his body. His captivity had forced him to grow up. He felt her gaze continue downwards, across his flat stomach, noting how she counted the ridges in his stomach before her gaze settled on the towel around his waist.
He saw her realize he wore nothing else as color flooded her normally pale cheeks. Her gaze jerked back to his and tears shimmered in their depths. Jacen found his motor functions as she stepped towards him and opened the door for her. She stepped inside, kicking the door from his grasp before he could close it on his own, and launched herself at him.
Soaking wet from his shower, water droplets clinging to his skin, he found his back suddenly pressed against the unyielding surface of the wall. Tenel Ka's arms encircled him as best they could, hugging him tightly against her soft body. He swallowed hard as she buried her face in his shoulder, his name a broken chant on her lips.
"Jacen... Oh Jacen!"
He hugged her back, holding her more tightly than he'd ever held anyone in his life. He felt her gasp for breath momentarily before returning the constricting pressure with her good arm. "Hello, Tenel Ka."
She lifted her face, a slow, brilliant smile stretching across her lips at the sound of his voice. "You are here! You-"
He didn't give her the chance to continue, simply lowered his head and captured her trembling lips with his own. Fire and lightning raced through his veins as she opened her mouth to him, her hand grasping the knot of the towel on his hip.
Jacen lifted his hands, sliding them up over the soft fabric of her cape until he reached her shoulders. Without looking, he unclasped it and dropped the fabric to the floor. "Tenel Ka." He murmured her name against her lips, tasting the salt from her tears. She slowly pulled away, reluctant to end the kiss.
"Jacen?"
He looked down into her pleading eyes, reading the need for reassurance. "I'm really here, Tenel Ka. Honest. I'm not a dream."
She inhaled sharply, the sound shaky, as she searched his eyes. Her hand left his waist to cup the side of his face. With gentle fingers she traced the neat beard on his face, ran her hand through his curly hair, felt the definition in the muscles of his neck and shoulders. She pinched him once, on the shoulders, and he yelped. "What was that for?"
Tears spilled over her cheeks again. "You are real!"
"This is a fact."
She blinked. "Yes. Fact."
He bent his head and gently kissed the edge of her mouth. "I've missed you, Tenel Ka."
Slowly, she stepped back from him, but never out of touching range, as she slid her hands over his chest to the large scar below his ribs. "You have been wounded."
His hand caught hers and lifted it to his lips. "That didn't hurt nearly so much as losing you. I'm sorry I left you."
She blinked rapidly, clearing her eyes. "It was not your choice. I missed you as well. I have not been myself since you were taken from us."
He kissed her finger tips, searching her gaze as he did so. "Did you believe I was dead?"
Tenel Ka nodded, curling her hand around his. "I felt you die. I... I did not want to live without you."
He could see what the admission cost her, but knew she felt it necessary he know. "I love you, Tenel Ka." He told her softly, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of her knuckles, "The thought of getting back to you helped keep me going."
She swallowed hard; he could see her throat working, and stepped closer to him, laying her head against his chest. She was silent for long moments before stepping back, her gray eyes serious. "Jacen?"
"Yes?"
"Perhaps you should dress before we continue this conversation. Your towel is hanging at a dangerous angle."
Jacen glanced down to find that the knot in the side had indeed begun to come loose. He met her gaze again, lifting his other hand to caress her cheek briefly. "I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable."
Tenel Ka held his hand until their fingers slipped through one another's and watched as he stepped back into the refresher. She began to tremble the moment he was out of sight. She'd given up hope of ever seeing him again. Tears burned behind her eyes as she stared at the doorway. He was back. He was alive. And she was never going to let him get away again.
Tenel Ka was still staring at the door to the refresher when Jacen stepped out a few moments later. A pair of loose leggings and a comfortable tunic that stretched across his chest, emphasizing his muscles, had replaced the small towel. He was rolling the sleeves up over his forearms as he walked towards her. She didn't move, didn't want to move, as he walked towards her. Her own arms were bare, the short sleeved tunic she wore defining the changes that had taken place in her body in the time they'd been separated. She'd last seen him as a girl growing to love him. Now, she was a woman who knew her heart through the darkest of trials. She fought against the tightness in her throat as he met her gaze.
His brown eyes were clear, yet she could see the marks his experiences had left on his soul. He was no longer innocent to the ways of the galaxy. Her heart ached at the knowledge she saw reflected in the brandy-colored depths. Jacen was no longer a strange to pain.
He moved past her, his pace easy as he stepped into the kitchenette and rummaged around for two glasses. She allowed her gaze to travel over him again, noting the muscular definition of his chest for a second time. Whatever his captivity had been, it had helped hone his body for battle and action. He'd lost his baby fat and she had to admit the thought of holding him close to her again sent desire racing through her system. Her mouth was dry as she watched him pour two mugs of caf.
"I'm not going to disappear, Tenel Ka."
She jerked, blinking. "I am sorry. I did not mean to stare."
He picked up both mugs, carrying them to the couch and motioned for her to sit. "Yes you did. I don't blame you, it's been a long time since we've seen each other."
She accepted the cup he offered her, curling her hand around his fingers as she met his gaze. He settled on the couch next to her, just shy of having their thighs brushing. "It feels like a lifetime."
He reluctantly pulled his hand free and sipped his own caf. "It was a lifetime. You're the Queen Mother now and I've changed. I'll be the first to admit that. Alot happened to me while I was gone."
She took a sip of her own drink, welcoming the warmth that spread through her system. The stimulant was unnecessary, she found herself thinking, she was stimulated enough just being around him again. She was continually fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. Having a glass in her hand made that impossible but it didn't stop the impulse. She was quiet as he paused, as if searching for the right words, his eyes serious.
She just about dropped her caf when his hand reached out to stroke the skin of her upper arm. Her left arm. For some inexplicable reason, the gesture touched her. Nobody liked to acknowledge her injury, yet Jacen was accepting it as he always had; as a part of her. "I've caused you alot of harm over the years, Tenel Ka, and I'm sorry for that. I regret having caused you pain with my capture, I never wanted that. Whatever has happened to me, whatever will happen, nothing has changed the feelings I have for you. I loved you when we were at the Jedi Temple, I loved you while I was fighting to learn to deal with the Embrace of Pain and I love you now."
She was quiet at his admission, unable to find the words. More than anything she'd wanted to hear those words from him, she had for a long time, but that was before things had changed. Before she'd believed him dead, before she'd been forced to take on her royal responsibilities. She placed the cup on the table and clasped her hand with his, their fingers twining together. "Jacen. I have longed to hear you speak such words, I have dreamt of them every night for years, yet I find I cannot accept them."
His heart jerked painfully in his chest and he sucked in a sharp breath. Surely she wasn't serious! He reached up to cup her face in his hand, searching her eyes pleadingly. Her gray eyes were serious, sad. "Why?" He swallowed hard, waiting for her answer.
Tears shimmered in her eyes again, "I am the Queen Mother of the Hapes Cluster. As a Princess I was free to love you but now I cannot. I must not. Fact. I want nothing more than to be able to. If I get involved with you my government would bring our relationship under scrutiny. This I will not allow."
He breath came out in a whoosh. She was pushing him away for political reasons. He could deal with that. "And the Queen Mother isn't allowed to have illicit affairs?"
She blinked. "Was that a joke?"
He shook his head, smiling softly. "No, Tenel Ka. I can see it in your eyes that you love me but I know what it is to be in a political jam. Must our relationship be in the spotlight?"
"In my position, everything is in the... spotlight."
He chuckled. "True, but you're here today without an escort. Am I to believe that the resourceful Dathomirian warrior, who now commands one of the most powerful Star clusters in the galaxy, can't find some way to slip away on occasion?"
Her lips twitched, her gray eyes suddenly dancing. "Power has its uses."
"That's what I thought. I don't want to play games, Tenel Ka. Someday, when this war is over, I hope to ask you to marry me."
Her shock radiated like a wave through the Force, one that was quickly suppressed. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping for the second time of the day. "You are not serious?"
"Oh, but I am," he stroked her cheek, watching the emotions flicker through her eyes. "I don't want to scare you, Tenel Ka, but you should know my intentions."
She blinked slowly. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, I will marry you when this war is over."
His heart jumped, his fingers tightening on her before a slow smile crossed his lips. He leaned down and gently kissed her, capturing her sigh with his lips. He pulled away, ending the kiss just as quickly as it started. "Do you really love me?"
Her eyes fluttered open and she nodded solemnly. "Yes."
"I need to hear you say the words, please?"
A small, surprising smile crossed her lips. "I love you, Jacen Solo."
He took a deep breath, the words having a surprising calming effect on his system. They would be alright. Together, they would be ok. "Thank you."
She inclined her head, her face again impassive. "I will have to treat you differently in public." She warned after a long moment of silence.
"I know." He kissed the backs of her fingers, gently stroking them. "I won't take it wrong if you have to ignore me because of your position. Promise me that we'll find time for us."
"Can you live like this, Jacen?"
Her question was serious, uncertain. "Knowing that you're out there waiting for me? Yes. Can you?"
"I do not have a choice if I wish this."
He pulled her into his arms, tucking her close to his heart as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. She curled into him, allowing him to pull her into his lap. Against her every independent instinct, she melted against him. "The next time I see you will probably be with lots of other people," he told her softly. "If I steal you from a private function for a walk or a trip to the balcony, is that considered improper by Hapan standards?"
"No."
"Good."
Content to hold her, he sat in the corner of the couch. Too soon she would have to go about her business. Too soon he would have to let her walk away from him. A smile curved his lips as the thought finished. No matter how many times she would walk away, she'd always come back.