Oct 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it all belongs to Lucasfilm *sighs* I only wish I did!
You did What?!
Chapter 3
It would be several days before Jacen got the chance to see Tenel Ka alone. With the election won, the Jedi council re-established, Master Luke had decided to grant the rank of Jedi Knight to him, his sister and several of their friends. Tenel Ka, Zekk and Tahiri among them. There'd been talk of delaying the ceremony until Tenel Ka could be brought to Calamari but when she'd shown herself, they'd started preparations for the ceremony immediately. Jacen had sat in when she'd come to talk to his Uncle Luke about her concerns regarding the reestablishment of the Jedi Council. That had been interesting. Jacen had had to pretend it was the first time seeing her again. That had been difficult. He was almost certain his Aunt Mara suspected something when she'd excused herself from their conversation.
His Uncle Luke was easy to trick. By keeping himself on the fringes and seemingly concentrating on something else, he'd pretended disinterest. He knew the dangers to them if his Uncle Luke found out about their feelings. Skilled as his Uncle Luke was, Jacen had to push his every feeling about Tenel Ka to the furthest recesses of his mind. It was good practice for the Knight ceremony. Surrounded by Jedi they'd have to be extremely careful.
Now, the Knighting ceremony was imminent, barely an hour away, and he wanted to see her. Having to sit with her, to watch her receive her Jedi robes, would be hard enough. Resisting the urge to kiss her senseless after wards... he shook his head. He had control but he wasn't sure if it would extend quite that far. Jaina was with their parents, having confiscated their refresher to prepare. He had the Skywalker apartment to himself. Did he dare?
He sat in the center of the room, not yet dressed for the ceremony, his back to the couch. He wanted to.
"Do you know what you are doing, Jacen Solo?"
He turned his head, not at all surprised to see her. Vergere. "Hello Vergere."
She inclined her head to him, standing by the main doorway. "You left her behind when you left your boyhood behind, why are you going back to her now?"
He wasn't surprised Vergere knew. He pushed himself to his feet, contemplating her words. "I chose, and I acted. I choose to renew my relationship with her."
"To what end?"
He turned from the small avian, taking a seat on the couch. "You said I have a destiny, my Uncle Luke has said the same thing. I do not believe that destiny will be a solitary one."
Vergere tilted her head at him. "And if it is?"
"Then I will deal with that when the time comes."
She said nothing else, but Jacen had the distinct impression she was disappointed with him. A Jedi Knight of old, Vergere viewed the Jedi with her own standards. They apparently didn't include family or attachment of any kind. He shook his head. "I don't ask you to understand. I have made my choice."
She continued to stare at him before shaking her head once and leaving the room. Jacen grimaced. Vergere wasn't exactly a friend, but her opinion mattered to him. Why had she said he'd left Tenel Ka with his other self? To a point that was true. They'd grown up in their time apart, their paths splitting from one another. Surely being brought together now wasn't only for them to separate again.
No, that wasn't right. They were going to part again, but it would be willingly. He got to his feet. Vergere was right about one thing. The boy she'd known was gone, forced by circumstance to grow. He had to talk to her.
Jacen had to wait until they slipped from the stage at the end of the ceremony to get Tenel Ka alone. He grabbed the hem of her sleeve and tugged her off to the side, deep into the shadows behind the stage. She looked up at him in surprise. "I need to talk to you."
"This sounds serious."
His face was grim as he checked left and right, "I'd prefer not to do it here but this can't wait."
She waited patiently for him to speak, her face and eyes giving away nothing of her thoughts.
"You know I've changed."
She nodded.
"But you don't know how much, I-"
"Jacen."
He stopped.
"We have both changed. It happens. This is a fact."
He smiled a ghost of a smile.
"Changes happen. We adapt and we grow. We will do the same."
He pulled her into his arms, the confidence in her words, the soft conviction, warming him. "Thank you."
Her brows drew together in confusion. "This was your conversation?"
He grimaced. "I had some pointed questions asked of my today. I was reminded that I'm not the same person. A part of me wonders if you truly love me, or if you're in love with who I was."
She was silent, her eyes serious.
He sighed. "I know, we shouldn't be having this conversation now, not when you're getting ready to leave, but I pressured you, Tenel Ka. I remember what I felt the last time I saw you, the look in your eyes. You've changed too. I was in love with a wild, Dathomirian Princess, and came back to the Queen Mother of the Hapes cluster. You were in love with a young Jedi who questioned everything... I still do, but I'm not that same boy."
"You speak the truth. Would you prefer I did not speak to you at all?"
Jacen shook his head. "No. I'd prefer to get to know you again, to learn who you are now. Can we do that, Tenel Ka? Can we start over with the cards we've been dealt?"
She let her guards down, her emotions showing for once in her gray eyes. "I wish it."
He smiled, bending his head to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. "And whatever the Queen Mother wants..."
She choked on what sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. Her gray eyes were dancing when she met his gaze again. "Fact."
He hugged her once more. "I'll miss you while you're gone. Send me a holo, if you can find the time."
She hugged him back, her good arm snaking around his neck as she pressed her body against his. "I will make time."
They pulled back after a couple of moments and Jacen cupped her face in his hands, bending down ever so slowly so that she could move if she wanted to. She didn't. Her gray eyes fluttered closed as she tilted her head and met his lips in a chaste, gentle kiss. He pulled back and stepped away. "I look forward to seeing you again, Queen Mother."
Her features schooled themselves back into her impassive mask. "As do I. May the Force be with you, Jacen Solo." She turned on her heel and walked away, her back straight.
He watched her go, "And with you, Tenel Ka Chume Ta' Djo. And with you."
He turned away and made his way towards where the rest of the new Jedi Knights would be waiting for him. He looked forwards to the day when they saw each other again. Building a new relationship based on who'd they'd become would be a challenge, but one worth the prize at the end. If nothing else, he believed that.
Fin
AN: There are also 2 holo-letters, but yeah... They're the next two chapters. Let me know what you guys think! Please R/R, I love hearing how I can improve my writing!
Thanks for Reading!
Jade_Max
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it all belongs to Lucasfilm *sighs* I only wish I did!
You did What?!
Chapter 3
It would be several days before Jacen got the chance to see Tenel Ka alone. With the election won, the Jedi council re-established, Master Luke had decided to grant the rank of Jedi Knight to him, his sister and several of their friends. Tenel Ka, Zekk and Tahiri among them. There'd been talk of delaying the ceremony until Tenel Ka could be brought to Calamari but when she'd shown herself, they'd started preparations for the ceremony immediately. Jacen had sat in when she'd come to talk to his Uncle Luke about her concerns regarding the reestablishment of the Jedi Council. That had been interesting. Jacen had had to pretend it was the first time seeing her again. That had been difficult. He was almost certain his Aunt Mara suspected something when she'd excused herself from their conversation.
His Uncle Luke was easy to trick. By keeping himself on the fringes and seemingly concentrating on something else, he'd pretended disinterest. He knew the dangers to them if his Uncle Luke found out about their feelings. Skilled as his Uncle Luke was, Jacen had to push his every feeling about Tenel Ka to the furthest recesses of his mind. It was good practice for the Knight ceremony. Surrounded by Jedi they'd have to be extremely careful.
Now, the Knighting ceremony was imminent, barely an hour away, and he wanted to see her. Having to sit with her, to watch her receive her Jedi robes, would be hard enough. Resisting the urge to kiss her senseless after wards... he shook his head. He had control but he wasn't sure if it would extend quite that far. Jaina was with their parents, having confiscated their refresher to prepare. He had the Skywalker apartment to himself. Did he dare?
He sat in the center of the room, not yet dressed for the ceremony, his back to the couch. He wanted to.
"Do you know what you are doing, Jacen Solo?"
He turned his head, not at all surprised to see her. Vergere. "Hello Vergere."
She inclined her head to him, standing by the main doorway. "You left her behind when you left your boyhood behind, why are you going back to her now?"
He wasn't surprised Vergere knew. He pushed himself to his feet, contemplating her words. "I chose, and I acted. I choose to renew my relationship with her."
"To what end?"
He turned from the small avian, taking a seat on the couch. "You said I have a destiny, my Uncle Luke has said the same thing. I do not believe that destiny will be a solitary one."
Vergere tilted her head at him. "And if it is?"
"Then I will deal with that when the time comes."
She said nothing else, but Jacen had the distinct impression she was disappointed with him. A Jedi Knight of old, Vergere viewed the Jedi with her own standards. They apparently didn't include family or attachment of any kind. He shook his head. "I don't ask you to understand. I have made my choice."
She continued to stare at him before shaking her head once and leaving the room. Jacen grimaced. Vergere wasn't exactly a friend, but her opinion mattered to him. Why had she said he'd left Tenel Ka with his other self? To a point that was true. They'd grown up in their time apart, their paths splitting from one another. Surely being brought together now wasn't only for them to separate again.
No, that wasn't right. They were going to part again, but it would be willingly. He got to his feet. Vergere was right about one thing. The boy she'd known was gone, forced by circumstance to grow. He had to talk to her.
Jacen had to wait until they slipped from the stage at the end of the ceremony to get Tenel Ka alone. He grabbed the hem of her sleeve and tugged her off to the side, deep into the shadows behind the stage. She looked up at him in surprise. "I need to talk to you."
"This sounds serious."
His face was grim as he checked left and right, "I'd prefer not to do it here but this can't wait."
She waited patiently for him to speak, her face and eyes giving away nothing of her thoughts.
"You know I've changed."
She nodded.
"But you don't know how much, I-"
"Jacen."
He stopped.
"We have both changed. It happens. This is a fact."
He smiled a ghost of a smile.
"Changes happen. We adapt and we grow. We will do the same."
He pulled her into his arms, the confidence in her words, the soft conviction, warming him. "Thank you."
Her brows drew together in confusion. "This was your conversation?"
He grimaced. "I had some pointed questions asked of my today. I was reminded that I'm not the same person. A part of me wonders if you truly love me, or if you're in love with who I was."
She was silent, her eyes serious.
He sighed. "I know, we shouldn't be having this conversation now, not when you're getting ready to leave, but I pressured you, Tenel Ka. I remember what I felt the last time I saw you, the look in your eyes. You've changed too. I was in love with a wild, Dathomirian Princess, and came back to the Queen Mother of the Hapes cluster. You were in love with a young Jedi who questioned everything... I still do, but I'm not that same boy."
"You speak the truth. Would you prefer I did not speak to you at all?"
Jacen shook his head. "No. I'd prefer to get to know you again, to learn who you are now. Can we do that, Tenel Ka? Can we start over with the cards we've been dealt?"
She let her guards down, her emotions showing for once in her gray eyes. "I wish it."
He smiled, bending his head to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. "And whatever the Queen Mother wants..."
She choked on what sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. Her gray eyes were dancing when she met his gaze again. "Fact."
He hugged her once more. "I'll miss you while you're gone. Send me a holo, if you can find the time."
She hugged him back, her good arm snaking around his neck as she pressed her body against his. "I will make time."
They pulled back after a couple of moments and Jacen cupped her face in his hands, bending down ever so slowly so that she could move if she wanted to. She didn't. Her gray eyes fluttered closed as she tilted her head and met his lips in a chaste, gentle kiss. He pulled back and stepped away. "I look forward to seeing you again, Queen Mother."
Her features schooled themselves back into her impassive mask. "As do I. May the Force be with you, Jacen Solo." She turned on her heel and walked away, her back straight.
He watched her go, "And with you, Tenel Ka Chume Ta' Djo. And with you."
He turned away and made his way towards where the rest of the new Jedi Knights would be waiting for him. He looked forwards to the day when they saw each other again. Building a new relationship based on who'd they'd become would be a challenge, but one worth the prize at the end. If nothing else, he believed that.
Fin
AN: There are also 2 holo-letters, but yeah... They're the next two chapters. Let me know what you guys think! Please R/R, I love hearing how I can improve my writing!
Thanks for Reading!
Jade_Max