Oct 2002
Disclaimer: Same as before...
You did What?!
Chapter 5
Jacen opened his eyes slowly, coming out of his meditation. Feathers. His eyesight was fuzzy and he blinked to focus. Vergere. He wasn't surprised, she'd been sharing his quarters for the last couple of weeks, hidden from the Jedi on board and he'd been unable to smuggle her off. "Vergere."
She simply watched him, her black eyes serious as they focused on his face. "You sent your message."
It was more of a statement than a question, but he nodded anyway. "I chose, I acted. You're constantly telling me to do just that, and my choices are my own. Don't go changing your philosophies on me now."
Her head feathers rippled, "Why?"
"Because it's reassuring to know some things don't change."
"Change is inevitable, Jacen Solo. But that is not what I meant. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Jedi have changed much in the last fifty years. Attachments are forbidden."
"Were forbidden."
She inclined her head, just barely. "Your new code is no code at all. Why her? Have you learned nothing?"
He was quiet for a few moments. "You seem to think attachments are a weakness. That they leave you vulnerable. Perhaps part of that old philosophy is right. But then, pain was seen as a weakness and though we feel it, we are able to overcome it without it controlling us. The same is said of an attachment. Pain can make someone stronger, just as being attached to someone can do the same. You choose to follow the old ways, Vergere, I choose to follow what I know."
"And you've learned nothing."
"On the contrary. You tried to teach me the old code through questionable methods. Yet I learned it. I choose to acknowledge what you've taught me, that I can be strong on my own and rely on no one, as a part of who I am now. Yet, there is more to me than that. I want those attachments to the other Jedi."
She was silent before she blinked and cocked her head at him. "She's imperfect, even though she is beautiful."
"We're all imperfect. After living with the Yuuzhan Vong, I would think you to be the last one to comment on the lack of a limb. She lost her arm many years ago in a lightsaber training accident." He fought a smile as he spoke. Vergere was right; Tenel Ka was gorgeous.
"Yours?"
He nodded. "The boy I was. She's highly resourceful and the injury causes many to underestimate her."
"Ah, so she is skilled in deception."
"She wasn't, not intentionally anyway, when I knew her."
"You admire her. She is a part of who you were, not who you are, Jacen Solo. Why do you persist?"
"Why do you follow the old code?" he returned calmly, as if he'd been expecting the question. "Why does my sister fly? Why does Tahiri still mourn my brother, even though he's been gone for more than a year?"
"Do you expect an answer?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.
"No. I think the answers are obvious. You follow the old code because it is a part of who and what you are. Jaina flies because she's most comfortable there, it's the place she feels needed and useful. It's also an escape. Tahiri loved my brother and loves him still; that is now plain to see. In the entire galaxy, he was the only one who understood her. He was the only one who would dare Uncle Luke's wrath to rescue her."
"Then she is comfortable to you."
Jacen nodded. "She was, she is. Change can separate people, but also being them closer together. She is important to me, and death didn't change that."
She looked at him before turning her back and hopping back into the small closet, signaling the end of their conversation.
Jacen closed his eyes again. It would be more than a week before Tenel Ka would receive his message. He would have to be patient.
********
AN: Telen Ka's holo letter is next... call this a bit of a filler :)
Disclaimer: Same as before...
You did What?!
Chapter 5
Jacen opened his eyes slowly, coming out of his meditation. Feathers. His eyesight was fuzzy and he blinked to focus. Vergere. He wasn't surprised, she'd been sharing his quarters for the last couple of weeks, hidden from the Jedi on board and he'd been unable to smuggle her off. "Vergere."
She simply watched him, her black eyes serious as they focused on his face. "You sent your message."
It was more of a statement than a question, but he nodded anyway. "I chose, I acted. You're constantly telling me to do just that, and my choices are my own. Don't go changing your philosophies on me now."
Her head feathers rippled, "Why?"
"Because it's reassuring to know some things don't change."
"Change is inevitable, Jacen Solo. But that is not what I meant. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Jedi have changed much in the last fifty years. Attachments are forbidden."
"Were forbidden."
She inclined her head, just barely. "Your new code is no code at all. Why her? Have you learned nothing?"
He was quiet for a few moments. "You seem to think attachments are a weakness. That they leave you vulnerable. Perhaps part of that old philosophy is right. But then, pain was seen as a weakness and though we feel it, we are able to overcome it without it controlling us. The same is said of an attachment. Pain can make someone stronger, just as being attached to someone can do the same. You choose to follow the old ways, Vergere, I choose to follow what I know."
"And you've learned nothing."
"On the contrary. You tried to teach me the old code through questionable methods. Yet I learned it. I choose to acknowledge what you've taught me, that I can be strong on my own and rely on no one, as a part of who I am now. Yet, there is more to me than that. I want those attachments to the other Jedi."
She was silent before she blinked and cocked her head at him. "She's imperfect, even though she is beautiful."
"We're all imperfect. After living with the Yuuzhan Vong, I would think you to be the last one to comment on the lack of a limb. She lost her arm many years ago in a lightsaber training accident." He fought a smile as he spoke. Vergere was right; Tenel Ka was gorgeous.
"Yours?"
He nodded. "The boy I was. She's highly resourceful and the injury causes many to underestimate her."
"Ah, so she is skilled in deception."
"She wasn't, not intentionally anyway, when I knew her."
"You admire her. She is a part of who you were, not who you are, Jacen Solo. Why do you persist?"
"Why do you follow the old code?" he returned calmly, as if he'd been expecting the question. "Why does my sister fly? Why does Tahiri still mourn my brother, even though he's been gone for more than a year?"
"Do you expect an answer?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.
"No. I think the answers are obvious. You follow the old code because it is a part of who and what you are. Jaina flies because she's most comfortable there, it's the place she feels needed and useful. It's also an escape. Tahiri loved my brother and loves him still; that is now plain to see. In the entire galaxy, he was the only one who understood her. He was the only one who would dare Uncle Luke's wrath to rescue her."
"Then she is comfortable to you."
Jacen nodded. "She was, she is. Change can separate people, but also being them closer together. She is important to me, and death didn't change that."
She looked at him before turning her back and hopping back into the small closet, signaling the end of their conversation.
Jacen closed his eyes again. It would be more than a week before Tenel Ka would receive his message. He would have to be patient.
********
AN: Telen Ka's holo letter is next... call this a bit of a filler :)