Evil FF.net! Stupid server problems! Gah, I hate it! Sorry, can't help
ranting. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that last chapter and the first brief
run-in with Sauron. In any case, now we get to see what new time period our
heroes get to go to! Plus, we get a little interesting character
development from our good friend Arik. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Do I really need to say this again? Oh, and I am not bashing
any religion at all. The opinions I place here are not necessarily my own,
I'm just giving my own version of this particular time period. Remember,
it's another world, so it's not historically accurate in our sense.
The strange chirping of an Archaeopteryx woke Scales up. She yawned and stretched, getting out of the nest. "Wow, that was one of the best nights I've ever slept in my life! Man, I've got to get me one of these things when I get home. Wonder if Arik's up." Scales figured she should get washed up for breakfast. She headed for the bathroom and tried to figure out how to work the bath. It was simple, she just had to turn on the faucets until the water was just the right temperature then get in and soak. Simple and fun, really. The bath was a bit deeper than she was used to, but she managed to enjoy the nice, hot dip. When she was all cleaned up, she checked to see if Arik's parents had some sort of dental care. In the dusty medical cabinet, she found some toothpaste from her time period and a toothbrush with an oddly shaped handle, designed for a different grip. With a little effort, Scales managed to brush her teeth with the strange brush. When she was all done, she examined herself in the mirror. She was gorgeous, as always. Feeling chipper due to the rest she had, she headed down to the bottom floor for breakfast. Arik was waiting for, as she had hoped. Some meat was already laid out to eat. "I see you had a good night's sleep." He said. She nodded as she sat down and started devouring a chunk of meat. "Yup! How did you sleep?" Arik shrugged as he took a sip of purple juice from a cup on the table. "Fine. I trust you enjoyed your room?" Scales smiled. "Yeah, that was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in." Arik chuckled. "I'm not surprised, the nests are woven for pleasure. I'm glad it works perfectly even after all these years." That reminded Scales of all the dust she had seen. "Hey Arik, when's the last time you were in your parent's room?" Arik started, spilling some of his juice. "Wh-why do you ask?" "It was really dusty. I sneezed a lot. Have you avoided it?" Scales asked. Arik sighed. "I haven't been in Mom or Dad's room since the attack. I guess it was psychological or something." He slowly took a sip from his cup. "I was only seven when it happened. I guess I was a little traumatized, maybe. After I brutally murdered the raiders, I kind of was unable to cope with the whole thing for a year or so. I kept thinking that they were all fine, my parents and sisters would be back in another few hours, so I should leave their rooms fine. Eventually, I got out of that phase of denial and knew I had to bury them. I found their skeletons, already picked clean by scavengers, and gave them a proper funeral in the local death ground. I think seeing their skeletons traumatized me more." He paused, slightly shivering. "After that, I kept trying to keep my mind off of things. I mean, I was now completely alone. There was no village within miles, ever since my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-grandfather got my family permanently banned from the tribe with his little hovercar accident." "You were lonely, weren't you." Scales stated. Arik nodded. "Incredibly. To get away from it all, I sought time travel as a means of escape. I found company in the future, and was enjoying myself again. Of course, I would always end up coming home, alone again." "Why haven't you tried finding a girl? I'm sure lots of babes would love to go out with a handsome raptor like yourself." Scales said, surprising herself a little. Arik blinked. "You think I'm handsome?" he asked, a little flattered. "Well, yeah." Scales admitted. "Hmm. Never thought of myself like that. Anyway, the reason is that...well, I don't really know why. I kind of feel like nobody is the right girl, like I'm waiting for someone who IS the right one. Crazy, isn't it?" Arik said. "Yeah, crazy." Scales said halfheartedly. Arik frowned. "Let's get off the depressing subject of my childhood and try to find that next Ruby, okay?" "Okay!" said Scales. Arik pulled out the Master Ruby. After a moment, it showed an image of the spinning Earth. The planet stopped spinning, and the globe magnified to show Europe. An X marked a point on the continent, in England, and the numbers 1002 appeared. Arik groaned. "Aw no, it's in the Middle Ages!" Scales wrinkled her nostril in disgust. "Oh God, I've heard horrible things about that time period from my history lessons! Tell me, is it true that absolutely no English humans bathed at all during the Middle Ages?" Arik nodded, equally disgusted. "The only time I went there, one of the several things that made me immediately leave was the stench of hundreds, maybe thousands of unwashed bodies and animals." "What were the other things?" Scales asked. "Well, everyone thought I was a demon, what with the fact that I appeared in a flash of light and looked like a monster. There's also the fact that the humans dominating medieval England absolutely HATED anthropomorphs and enslaved or slaughtered them as they pleased." Arik said angrily. "Why did humans hate anthropomorphs back then? I was never completely clear on why they locked dozens of people in tiny shacks and burned them alive." Scales said. "Because they were intolerable, selfish, self-arrogant pigs, that's why!" Arik growled. "It's not just that they looked down on anyone of a different religion, it's that they killed anyone who thought differently from those in power. And the churches, of course, were running everything." Scales nodded. "It's no wonder it's called the Dark Ages. And we have to go there?" Arik nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so. Well, let's get this over with, and hope that the smell won't be TOO bad." He stood up. "If we're done with breakfast, let's get this over with." Scales wiped her mouth with a leaf napkin and got up, grabbing Arik's hand. "I'm done, and I'm guessing you ate before I got down." He nodded. "Chronos Control!" They warped away in a flash of light.
After a trip through the Time Stream, our heroes materialized in medieval England, right on a country road. Their arrival startled a man driving a donkey-pulled cart of straw down the road. The man had stringy black hair that hung down his back in clumps, lice prancing around in it. He was wearing an ugly brown tunic and pants that were covered in stains. The man gasped, revealing rows of disgusting, blackened teeth. "Aaagh! Demons! Aaaaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee!" He jumped out of the cart and ran into the hills, screaming wildly and ripping out bits of his hair. The donkeys stared at the two reptiles for a moment, then nonchalantly started eating grass offside the road. Scales sniffed the air. "Huh, it's not that bad. I smell something a little pungent, but it could be the donkeys." Arik shook his head. "That's because we're out in the country. When we get to a town, you'll be feeling the effects." Scales scowled. "Remind me, why did no one bathe?" "The priests misinterpreted their own Bible and believe that God wishes the people to never change their natural state, save shaving themselves and getting rid of long nails. That means no cleaning of any sort, which is why they were all so filthy." Arik explained. "Well, weren't the anthropomorphs cleaner? I mean, we all sort of adhere to a slightly different religion than the humans." Scales said. Arik shrugged. "I'm sure our more animalistic brethren would love to be cleaner, but their overlords refuse to let them. The priests saw, or should I say see, the anthropomorphs as vermin, demonic representations of animals but in mortal form. In their opinion, all anthropomorphs automatically go to Hell, and don't deserve cleaning." Scales looked confused. "But I thought you said they thought God didn't want the humans to be cleaned either." Arik nodded. "I know, hypocritical isn't it? But the church is always right. Anyone with an iota of sense or logic in their heads who even dares question the authority of the church is immediately excommunicated or put to death. Humans are such a lovely race, aren't they?" he said sarcastically. Scales sighed. "Let's try to get this over with as quickly as possible. So, where do you think we should go to find out about the Ruby?" Arik thought a moment. "Well, if it weren't for the fact that he doesn't exist, I would suggest Merlin. But since he's not real and neither was Camelot, our best bet is a church." Scales blinked. "What? Why?" "Because all knowledge in the land is held at the church, where it is selfishly hoarded by the priests and monks. If anyone would know where the Chronos Ruby is, they would." He frowned. "However, I have no idea how we're going to get them to tell us where it is." Scales thought a moment. A lightbulb went on in her head. "Wait a minute. You said they thought you were a demon, right?" Arik nodded. "Well, I don't exactly look normal myself. I think I've got an idea." She grinned sinisterly. Arik gulped. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but what's your idea?" Scales' grin didn't leave her face. "If we make the priests think we're demons, we can scare them into giving us the location of the Ruby!" Arik blinked. "Interesting idea. But won't the priests think something's odd when their exorcism attempts fail to banish us from the church?" Scales shook her head. "Nah, we just have to act menacing and fearsome enough for them to think we're demons straight out of the abyss even when their methods fail to get rid of us." Arik looked a little uneasy. "I don't know how fearsome I really could be." He said reluctantly. Scales laughed a little. "It's easy. Just keep snarling and look angry. If worse comes to worse, just let me do all the talking. I'm very good at being fearsome." "Why am I not surprised?" muttered the raptor. "All right then, let's head for the nearest town." "And that would be?" Scales asked. "Uh..." Arik looked around. "I have no idea whatsoever." Scales groaned. "Well, that man who ran away was obviously coming from somewhere. Why don't we follow the road the way he came from and see if we find anything?" Arik suggested. Scales thought a moment. "Yeah, I guess that's as good an idea as any. Let's go."
They headed down the dirt road, passing pleasant countryside. The odor remained in the air, but neither reptile really paid much attention to it. In the meantime, Scales was giving Arik tips on acting fearsome and demonic. He quickly got the hang of it, and started getting pretty good. They also perfected the story they would tell the priest, and even tried practicing a little. Soon enough, the odor got noticeably stronger. They reached the top of a rise and saw a quaint little medieval town below them, with several houses too squalid to be even referred to as hovels on the outskirts, and houses that were barely squalid enough to be classed above hovels further in. The buildings were shoddily made and looked like they could fall apart with a few Homing Kicks. The only building that looked even remotely good was the church, which loomed over the other buildings in the town, casting a great shadow over them. Aril looked at Scales. "Shall we walk in or make a surprise entrance?" Scales' grin came back. "I want to avoid the ghetto area, so let's just make a grand entrance, shall we?" Knowing what this meant, Arik grabbed Scales' wrist. "Chaos Control!" They warped away in a flash of light, reappearing in the Town Square. The stinky people walking around took one look at the two reptiles and ran screaming, dropping their things and locking themselves in nearby houses. Scales snorted. "Wimps. Come on, let's go to the church, it smells out here." "It'll be a lot worse in there, they should be holding services right about now." Said Arik. "Imagine all those unwashed bodies crammed together, like sardines in a can." Scales gagged. "Ugh, stop with that imagery! Let's just get this over with and get as far away from the smell as possible." They walked through the streets of the town, ignoring the looks people gave them fearfully through windows. They reached the church. Arik was about to push open one of the large doors when Scales stopped him. "Wait. We're demons, remember? We don't need to walk in casually." Arik got the hint. "Right, I see!" He took a few steps back, then jumped and flew at the door with a Homing Kick, smashing it open. The people inside the church, sitting in rock-hard pews turned their heads to see who was intruding. They screamed and hid under the pews at the sight of the pair of interlopers. The head priest gasped and took a few steps back. "D-demons! H-how dare you interrupt the sanctity of this House of God? Begone! Return to the pit!" he yelled, obviously trying to look brave. Arik sneered, starting his act. "Words have no effect on us, priest! We were sent by Lucifer himself to get information from you!" There were gasps all around. Scales began her part. "Our business is with the priest, so all you filthy, disgusting mortals had better get out of our sight before we personally rip your souls from your bodies and feed them to our Master!" She stepped away from the door. "Pass through, if you are brave enough. My brother and I will not harm you fleshlings if you leave immediately." The humans took no time at all to run screaming past her and Arik, through the doors and into the town. The choir boys had long since vacated, and the only human left in the main sanctuary was the frightened priest. The reptiles moved slowly, methodically up the aisles, trying to milk fear from the holy man. The priest quickly pulled out his cross and a vial of holy water and held them at arm's length as Scales and Arik reached the altar. "Back! Back, hellspawn!" He sprayed the water at Arik and waved the cross in Scales' face. She grabbed the cross from his hand and crumpled it into a little ball, throwing it over her shoulder. Arik grabbed the vial and drank its contents in one go, throwing it over his shoulder as well. "Ah, thank you. I was getting thirsty." The priest babbled incoherently, disillusioned. Scales growled and grabbed the unclean bald man by the neck, lifting him into the air. "Now listen priest, and listen good! Our infernal master has sent us to this repugnant spinning ball of filth for one reason and reason only! You are going to help us accomplish our task so we can go back to Hell and leave all you dirt people alone!" She pulled the frightened man closer, filling his eyes with her face. Showing her sharp teeth, she growled, "Where is the Ruby?" The priest blinked. "Wh-what Ruby?" "We are searching for a magic jewel stolen from our master's collection by a rouge demon. It is somewhere in this country. It has certain properties, such as showing horrific visions of things that terrify you." Arik explained. The priest tried to think quickly despite being partially suspended in the air. "Uh, let's see...OH! I remember now, there's an old legend about how my predecessor was given a jewel by a demon! He immediately got rid of the jewel because of its demonic nature and the strange images in it that showed we humans actually being friends with the lowly animals. He gave the jewel to a goblin in the Swamp of Urg, thinking that it would be safe with the evil creature." "Where is the swamp?" Scales hissed. The priest gulped. "I-it's just northwest of here, you can't miss it!" Scales nodded and dropped the priest. "I thank you for your assistance. Our Master will not soon forget your aid. Come brother, let us find the jewel so we may leave this horrid pigpen!" Arik nodded, still keeping up the act. "Yes, it reeks like Cerberus' dung." The two reptiles left. Once outside, they burst into laughter. "That was great!" Arik said. "I had no idea acting could be that fun!" "Did you see the look on his face when I crumpled up his cross? Priceless!" Scales said, wiping some tears away. "Woo! That was good. Come on, let's find this swamp and the goblin the priest was talking about." "I hope the swamp smells better than this place." Arik commented as they warped out of town.
A few minutes later, a white time portal opened in the middle of the Town Square, sending everyone who had come back out running for their houses again. Sauron stepped out of the portal and immediately cringed. "Gah! The stench!" Another raptor came out of the portal and had a similar reaction. "Good lord, that's most likely the worst thing I've ever smelled!" Sauron growled, trying to ignore the horrid stink. "Get some troopers on this end, search the entire town for what we seek! I'll head for that big building over there and 'inquire' as to the whereabouts of the Ruby." "At once, sir!" said the raptor, going back into the portal. Sauron walked through town, not bothering with the people who ran from him. He was mildly surprised to see the church doors were knocked down. He went inside the church, startling the priest. He moaned. "Oh no, not another one!" Sauron's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'another one?'" The priest blinked. Two others just like you were here only a few minutes ago! You demons are all in cahoots, you should know that!" Ignoring the last comment, Sauron ran up to the altar and grabbed the priest's neck. "Where were they going?" he growled. The priest gasped. "Th-they were going to the swamp in the northwest!" "Thank you." Said Sauron, snapping the human's neck. Dropping the corpse to the ground, he left the church and walked back to the portal. Other raptors and Massopondylus had come through and were already running around, grabbing humans. The raptor he had sent back for reinforcements was waiting at the portal. Sauron went up to his lieutenant. "I've found where our quarry is heading. Go back and tell the wardens to send over a few flyers, we're dealing with swampy terrain here." The raptor nodded. "Right away, sir!" He jumped back into the portal. Sauron roared, stopping all action and alerting the attention of his troops. "Ahem. I have found the location of the Chronos Ruby from a smelly bald man in that big building over there. We will be heading out for the gem once my new weapons get here. In the meantime, I suggest you enjoy yourselves. Burn this town to the ground and leave the people, they're too filthy to eat anyway." The soldiers grinned maliciously and started torching buildings, burning them down with people in them. The screams were music to Sauron's ears, and he laughed, the stench of this horrid place fading as the fire consumed the living.
Scales and Arik trekked across the country, across green meadows and by trees, enjoying the fresh air and listening to the birds singing. There was no sign of civilization anywhere, and thus the place smelled good. They could tell by the softening of the ground and the increasing amount of water that they were getting closer to their destination. Soon, they had to stick to a narrow path winding through dark, murky water as they entered the swamp, having to adjust to the darkness as big trees growing from the water blotted out the sun. Eventually, the path ended in a dock extending a little ways over the water. Scales and Arik walked to the end of the dock and looked around, not seeing a boat or anywhere else they could go to. Scales noticed several large lily pads. "Hey Arik, think those pads can support us?" she asked. Arik examined the closest pad to the dock. "Let's give it a test, shall we?" he said. Picking up a rock, he threw it at the pad. It clattered on the plant, which stayed on the surface, not even dipping a little. "Well, I'd say those are strong enough to support us." "Okay then. Follow my lead." Scales hopped to the nearest pad, followed closely by Arik. They jumped from pad to pad across the water, seeing a house up ahead, supported by stilts. Some nets were hanging from beams sprouting from the house. Scales jumped and hovered with her powered-up anklets to the net, grabbing on. She then realized she had forgotten about her companion, and worried that he wouldn't be able to catch up. That's when Arik jumped off the pad, soaring through the air and landing on the net, which he grabbed tightly. Scales blinked. "How did you-" Arik grinned. "Raptors jump good. Raptors jump real good." With that, he started climbing up the net, pulling himself to the beam at the top. Scales shrugged and followed him. From the top of the beam, they looked around and saw a dock beneath the house, a ladder leading down to it from the building. A boat was tethered to the dock, looking ready for use. Scales hovered down to it. Arik looked at the dock for a second, doing some quick calculations, then jumped for it, landing neatly in the center of it. As Scales looked at him with awe, he said, " Like I told you, raptors jump real good." There were some noises and creaks from the building above them. "Eh? Wot's this? Who's on me dock?" a voice screeched from the house. There were some more noises, then somebody climbed down the ladder, stepping onto the dock. The person blinked, surprised by her visitors. "Well, what have we here? A pair of lizards come to visit old Bristol in her humble abode?" The person was a woman, a very old human woman. She was stooped over from age and wore an ugly gray cloak. She had gnarled hands with fingers that ended in broken fingernails sharp enough to be claws. Her face was hideous, to say the least. She had a crooked nose, like a hook. Her eyes were like bulging orbs, one yellow, the other purple. Her mouth was in an open-mouthed grin, revealing numerous empty gums and a few teeth. The teeth that remained were cracked, split, and mossy. She had numerous warts, making her face look even worse. She had long, stringy white hair that reached the ground. "Eh, I haven't had many visitors in a long while." Scales and Arik recoiled slightly. Her breath was atrocious, they could smell it from five feet away, like rotting garbage mixed with some radioactive waste. It was obvious from the number of flies buzzing around her that she hadn't been clean a day in her life. Trying not to be polite, and also trying not to faint from the smell generated by the old lady, Scales spoke up. "We're looking for something in the swamp. Would you be able to help us?" The women, Bristol cracked a hideous grin again. "Ah, ye'll be looking for the treasure, eh? The goblin keeps it in his cave in the middle of the swamp. Nobody knows where he lives but me." "Can you show us how to reach this cave?" Arik asked. The lady walked towards them, going for the boat. "Aye, I'll even take ye there if ye wish." She climbed in the boat and picked up a long pole. "Well, what are ye waiting for? Get in!" Reluctantly, Scales and Arik got in the boat, trying not to choke from the fumes coming from Bristol. She dipped the pole in the water and pushed off from the dock, rowing deeper into the swamp.
Sorry to end it with a cliffhanger! Did you like this chapter, despite all the stink? Anyway, the next chapter should be up soon, so don't you worry a bit. Anyway, now it's time for our interview! Scales: Hiya. Me: So Scales, how do you like medieval England? Scales: Hate it. It's disgusting. Me: Sorry to hear that. We have a question or two from our old fan, Ultrafan X. Scales: What does he want to know? Me: First off, he wants to know whether any of the other characters or Sonic will be appearing in this story. Scales: (Sighs, holding her head.) Look, Ultrafan X, not to be rude or anything, but Sonic is not appearing in this universe, EVER. He will not be showing up in any time, place, or form in this fic or series. Me: He also would like to know whether General Scales from Star Fox Adventures and Sauron are related. Scales: (Smirks.) I doubt it, considering the fact that the General lives on the Dinosaur Planet in the Lylat System, a whole other galaxy away from here. Me: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, he has a gift for you. Scales: Is it weasels for me to eat? Me: Yes. Scales: Good. Me: Ultrafan says he went into the past and hunted down every weasel that ever lived. That means there's a whole lot of weasels, so he suggests you share them with Arik. Scales: Okay, I'll call him over for dinner then. Me: You do that. Anyway, that's it for now. Thank you for reading, and please review. Scales: Oh, and could you please not send over anymore weasels? I think that after Arik and I are done with this batch, we're going to be a little sick of them for some time. Something else would be nice. Bye now!
The strange chirping of an Archaeopteryx woke Scales up. She yawned and stretched, getting out of the nest. "Wow, that was one of the best nights I've ever slept in my life! Man, I've got to get me one of these things when I get home. Wonder if Arik's up." Scales figured she should get washed up for breakfast. She headed for the bathroom and tried to figure out how to work the bath. It was simple, she just had to turn on the faucets until the water was just the right temperature then get in and soak. Simple and fun, really. The bath was a bit deeper than she was used to, but she managed to enjoy the nice, hot dip. When she was all cleaned up, she checked to see if Arik's parents had some sort of dental care. In the dusty medical cabinet, she found some toothpaste from her time period and a toothbrush with an oddly shaped handle, designed for a different grip. With a little effort, Scales managed to brush her teeth with the strange brush. When she was all done, she examined herself in the mirror. She was gorgeous, as always. Feeling chipper due to the rest she had, she headed down to the bottom floor for breakfast. Arik was waiting for, as she had hoped. Some meat was already laid out to eat. "I see you had a good night's sleep." He said. She nodded as she sat down and started devouring a chunk of meat. "Yup! How did you sleep?" Arik shrugged as he took a sip of purple juice from a cup on the table. "Fine. I trust you enjoyed your room?" Scales smiled. "Yeah, that was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in." Arik chuckled. "I'm not surprised, the nests are woven for pleasure. I'm glad it works perfectly even after all these years." That reminded Scales of all the dust she had seen. "Hey Arik, when's the last time you were in your parent's room?" Arik started, spilling some of his juice. "Wh-why do you ask?" "It was really dusty. I sneezed a lot. Have you avoided it?" Scales asked. Arik sighed. "I haven't been in Mom or Dad's room since the attack. I guess it was psychological or something." He slowly took a sip from his cup. "I was only seven when it happened. I guess I was a little traumatized, maybe. After I brutally murdered the raiders, I kind of was unable to cope with the whole thing for a year or so. I kept thinking that they were all fine, my parents and sisters would be back in another few hours, so I should leave their rooms fine. Eventually, I got out of that phase of denial and knew I had to bury them. I found their skeletons, already picked clean by scavengers, and gave them a proper funeral in the local death ground. I think seeing their skeletons traumatized me more." He paused, slightly shivering. "After that, I kept trying to keep my mind off of things. I mean, I was now completely alone. There was no village within miles, ever since my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-grandfather got my family permanently banned from the tribe with his little hovercar accident." "You were lonely, weren't you." Scales stated. Arik nodded. "Incredibly. To get away from it all, I sought time travel as a means of escape. I found company in the future, and was enjoying myself again. Of course, I would always end up coming home, alone again." "Why haven't you tried finding a girl? I'm sure lots of babes would love to go out with a handsome raptor like yourself." Scales said, surprising herself a little. Arik blinked. "You think I'm handsome?" he asked, a little flattered. "Well, yeah." Scales admitted. "Hmm. Never thought of myself like that. Anyway, the reason is that...well, I don't really know why. I kind of feel like nobody is the right girl, like I'm waiting for someone who IS the right one. Crazy, isn't it?" Arik said. "Yeah, crazy." Scales said halfheartedly. Arik frowned. "Let's get off the depressing subject of my childhood and try to find that next Ruby, okay?" "Okay!" said Scales. Arik pulled out the Master Ruby. After a moment, it showed an image of the spinning Earth. The planet stopped spinning, and the globe magnified to show Europe. An X marked a point on the continent, in England, and the numbers 1002 appeared. Arik groaned. "Aw no, it's in the Middle Ages!" Scales wrinkled her nostril in disgust. "Oh God, I've heard horrible things about that time period from my history lessons! Tell me, is it true that absolutely no English humans bathed at all during the Middle Ages?" Arik nodded, equally disgusted. "The only time I went there, one of the several things that made me immediately leave was the stench of hundreds, maybe thousands of unwashed bodies and animals." "What were the other things?" Scales asked. "Well, everyone thought I was a demon, what with the fact that I appeared in a flash of light and looked like a monster. There's also the fact that the humans dominating medieval England absolutely HATED anthropomorphs and enslaved or slaughtered them as they pleased." Arik said angrily. "Why did humans hate anthropomorphs back then? I was never completely clear on why they locked dozens of people in tiny shacks and burned them alive." Scales said. "Because they were intolerable, selfish, self-arrogant pigs, that's why!" Arik growled. "It's not just that they looked down on anyone of a different religion, it's that they killed anyone who thought differently from those in power. And the churches, of course, were running everything." Scales nodded. "It's no wonder it's called the Dark Ages. And we have to go there?" Arik nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so. Well, let's get this over with, and hope that the smell won't be TOO bad." He stood up. "If we're done with breakfast, let's get this over with." Scales wiped her mouth with a leaf napkin and got up, grabbing Arik's hand. "I'm done, and I'm guessing you ate before I got down." He nodded. "Chronos Control!" They warped away in a flash of light.
After a trip through the Time Stream, our heroes materialized in medieval England, right on a country road. Their arrival startled a man driving a donkey-pulled cart of straw down the road. The man had stringy black hair that hung down his back in clumps, lice prancing around in it. He was wearing an ugly brown tunic and pants that were covered in stains. The man gasped, revealing rows of disgusting, blackened teeth. "Aaagh! Demons! Aaaaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee!" He jumped out of the cart and ran into the hills, screaming wildly and ripping out bits of his hair. The donkeys stared at the two reptiles for a moment, then nonchalantly started eating grass offside the road. Scales sniffed the air. "Huh, it's not that bad. I smell something a little pungent, but it could be the donkeys." Arik shook his head. "That's because we're out in the country. When we get to a town, you'll be feeling the effects." Scales scowled. "Remind me, why did no one bathe?" "The priests misinterpreted their own Bible and believe that God wishes the people to never change their natural state, save shaving themselves and getting rid of long nails. That means no cleaning of any sort, which is why they were all so filthy." Arik explained. "Well, weren't the anthropomorphs cleaner? I mean, we all sort of adhere to a slightly different religion than the humans." Scales said. Arik shrugged. "I'm sure our more animalistic brethren would love to be cleaner, but their overlords refuse to let them. The priests saw, or should I say see, the anthropomorphs as vermin, demonic representations of animals but in mortal form. In their opinion, all anthropomorphs automatically go to Hell, and don't deserve cleaning." Scales looked confused. "But I thought you said they thought God didn't want the humans to be cleaned either." Arik nodded. "I know, hypocritical isn't it? But the church is always right. Anyone with an iota of sense or logic in their heads who even dares question the authority of the church is immediately excommunicated or put to death. Humans are such a lovely race, aren't they?" he said sarcastically. Scales sighed. "Let's try to get this over with as quickly as possible. So, where do you think we should go to find out about the Ruby?" Arik thought a moment. "Well, if it weren't for the fact that he doesn't exist, I would suggest Merlin. But since he's not real and neither was Camelot, our best bet is a church." Scales blinked. "What? Why?" "Because all knowledge in the land is held at the church, where it is selfishly hoarded by the priests and monks. If anyone would know where the Chronos Ruby is, they would." He frowned. "However, I have no idea how we're going to get them to tell us where it is." Scales thought a moment. A lightbulb went on in her head. "Wait a minute. You said they thought you were a demon, right?" Arik nodded. "Well, I don't exactly look normal myself. I think I've got an idea." She grinned sinisterly. Arik gulped. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but what's your idea?" Scales' grin didn't leave her face. "If we make the priests think we're demons, we can scare them into giving us the location of the Ruby!" Arik blinked. "Interesting idea. But won't the priests think something's odd when their exorcism attempts fail to banish us from the church?" Scales shook her head. "Nah, we just have to act menacing and fearsome enough for them to think we're demons straight out of the abyss even when their methods fail to get rid of us." Arik looked a little uneasy. "I don't know how fearsome I really could be." He said reluctantly. Scales laughed a little. "It's easy. Just keep snarling and look angry. If worse comes to worse, just let me do all the talking. I'm very good at being fearsome." "Why am I not surprised?" muttered the raptor. "All right then, let's head for the nearest town." "And that would be?" Scales asked. "Uh..." Arik looked around. "I have no idea whatsoever." Scales groaned. "Well, that man who ran away was obviously coming from somewhere. Why don't we follow the road the way he came from and see if we find anything?" Arik suggested. Scales thought a moment. "Yeah, I guess that's as good an idea as any. Let's go."
They headed down the dirt road, passing pleasant countryside. The odor remained in the air, but neither reptile really paid much attention to it. In the meantime, Scales was giving Arik tips on acting fearsome and demonic. He quickly got the hang of it, and started getting pretty good. They also perfected the story they would tell the priest, and even tried practicing a little. Soon enough, the odor got noticeably stronger. They reached the top of a rise and saw a quaint little medieval town below them, with several houses too squalid to be even referred to as hovels on the outskirts, and houses that were barely squalid enough to be classed above hovels further in. The buildings were shoddily made and looked like they could fall apart with a few Homing Kicks. The only building that looked even remotely good was the church, which loomed over the other buildings in the town, casting a great shadow over them. Aril looked at Scales. "Shall we walk in or make a surprise entrance?" Scales' grin came back. "I want to avoid the ghetto area, so let's just make a grand entrance, shall we?" Knowing what this meant, Arik grabbed Scales' wrist. "Chaos Control!" They warped away in a flash of light, reappearing in the Town Square. The stinky people walking around took one look at the two reptiles and ran screaming, dropping their things and locking themselves in nearby houses. Scales snorted. "Wimps. Come on, let's go to the church, it smells out here." "It'll be a lot worse in there, they should be holding services right about now." Said Arik. "Imagine all those unwashed bodies crammed together, like sardines in a can." Scales gagged. "Ugh, stop with that imagery! Let's just get this over with and get as far away from the smell as possible." They walked through the streets of the town, ignoring the looks people gave them fearfully through windows. They reached the church. Arik was about to push open one of the large doors when Scales stopped him. "Wait. We're demons, remember? We don't need to walk in casually." Arik got the hint. "Right, I see!" He took a few steps back, then jumped and flew at the door with a Homing Kick, smashing it open. The people inside the church, sitting in rock-hard pews turned their heads to see who was intruding. They screamed and hid under the pews at the sight of the pair of interlopers. The head priest gasped and took a few steps back. "D-demons! H-how dare you interrupt the sanctity of this House of God? Begone! Return to the pit!" he yelled, obviously trying to look brave. Arik sneered, starting his act. "Words have no effect on us, priest! We were sent by Lucifer himself to get information from you!" There were gasps all around. Scales began her part. "Our business is with the priest, so all you filthy, disgusting mortals had better get out of our sight before we personally rip your souls from your bodies and feed them to our Master!" She stepped away from the door. "Pass through, if you are brave enough. My brother and I will not harm you fleshlings if you leave immediately." The humans took no time at all to run screaming past her and Arik, through the doors and into the town. The choir boys had long since vacated, and the only human left in the main sanctuary was the frightened priest. The reptiles moved slowly, methodically up the aisles, trying to milk fear from the holy man. The priest quickly pulled out his cross and a vial of holy water and held them at arm's length as Scales and Arik reached the altar. "Back! Back, hellspawn!" He sprayed the water at Arik and waved the cross in Scales' face. She grabbed the cross from his hand and crumpled it into a little ball, throwing it over her shoulder. Arik grabbed the vial and drank its contents in one go, throwing it over his shoulder as well. "Ah, thank you. I was getting thirsty." The priest babbled incoherently, disillusioned. Scales growled and grabbed the unclean bald man by the neck, lifting him into the air. "Now listen priest, and listen good! Our infernal master has sent us to this repugnant spinning ball of filth for one reason and reason only! You are going to help us accomplish our task so we can go back to Hell and leave all you dirt people alone!" She pulled the frightened man closer, filling his eyes with her face. Showing her sharp teeth, she growled, "Where is the Ruby?" The priest blinked. "Wh-what Ruby?" "We are searching for a magic jewel stolen from our master's collection by a rouge demon. It is somewhere in this country. It has certain properties, such as showing horrific visions of things that terrify you." Arik explained. The priest tried to think quickly despite being partially suspended in the air. "Uh, let's see...OH! I remember now, there's an old legend about how my predecessor was given a jewel by a demon! He immediately got rid of the jewel because of its demonic nature and the strange images in it that showed we humans actually being friends with the lowly animals. He gave the jewel to a goblin in the Swamp of Urg, thinking that it would be safe with the evil creature." "Where is the swamp?" Scales hissed. The priest gulped. "I-it's just northwest of here, you can't miss it!" Scales nodded and dropped the priest. "I thank you for your assistance. Our Master will not soon forget your aid. Come brother, let us find the jewel so we may leave this horrid pigpen!" Arik nodded, still keeping up the act. "Yes, it reeks like Cerberus' dung." The two reptiles left. Once outside, they burst into laughter. "That was great!" Arik said. "I had no idea acting could be that fun!" "Did you see the look on his face when I crumpled up his cross? Priceless!" Scales said, wiping some tears away. "Woo! That was good. Come on, let's find this swamp and the goblin the priest was talking about." "I hope the swamp smells better than this place." Arik commented as they warped out of town.
A few minutes later, a white time portal opened in the middle of the Town Square, sending everyone who had come back out running for their houses again. Sauron stepped out of the portal and immediately cringed. "Gah! The stench!" Another raptor came out of the portal and had a similar reaction. "Good lord, that's most likely the worst thing I've ever smelled!" Sauron growled, trying to ignore the horrid stink. "Get some troopers on this end, search the entire town for what we seek! I'll head for that big building over there and 'inquire' as to the whereabouts of the Ruby." "At once, sir!" said the raptor, going back into the portal. Sauron walked through town, not bothering with the people who ran from him. He was mildly surprised to see the church doors were knocked down. He went inside the church, startling the priest. He moaned. "Oh no, not another one!" Sauron's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'another one?'" The priest blinked. Two others just like you were here only a few minutes ago! You demons are all in cahoots, you should know that!" Ignoring the last comment, Sauron ran up to the altar and grabbed the priest's neck. "Where were they going?" he growled. The priest gasped. "Th-they were going to the swamp in the northwest!" "Thank you." Said Sauron, snapping the human's neck. Dropping the corpse to the ground, he left the church and walked back to the portal. Other raptors and Massopondylus had come through and were already running around, grabbing humans. The raptor he had sent back for reinforcements was waiting at the portal. Sauron went up to his lieutenant. "I've found where our quarry is heading. Go back and tell the wardens to send over a few flyers, we're dealing with swampy terrain here." The raptor nodded. "Right away, sir!" He jumped back into the portal. Sauron roared, stopping all action and alerting the attention of his troops. "Ahem. I have found the location of the Chronos Ruby from a smelly bald man in that big building over there. We will be heading out for the gem once my new weapons get here. In the meantime, I suggest you enjoy yourselves. Burn this town to the ground and leave the people, they're too filthy to eat anyway." The soldiers grinned maliciously and started torching buildings, burning them down with people in them. The screams were music to Sauron's ears, and he laughed, the stench of this horrid place fading as the fire consumed the living.
Scales and Arik trekked across the country, across green meadows and by trees, enjoying the fresh air and listening to the birds singing. There was no sign of civilization anywhere, and thus the place smelled good. They could tell by the softening of the ground and the increasing amount of water that they were getting closer to their destination. Soon, they had to stick to a narrow path winding through dark, murky water as they entered the swamp, having to adjust to the darkness as big trees growing from the water blotted out the sun. Eventually, the path ended in a dock extending a little ways over the water. Scales and Arik walked to the end of the dock and looked around, not seeing a boat or anywhere else they could go to. Scales noticed several large lily pads. "Hey Arik, think those pads can support us?" she asked. Arik examined the closest pad to the dock. "Let's give it a test, shall we?" he said. Picking up a rock, he threw it at the pad. It clattered on the plant, which stayed on the surface, not even dipping a little. "Well, I'd say those are strong enough to support us." "Okay then. Follow my lead." Scales hopped to the nearest pad, followed closely by Arik. They jumped from pad to pad across the water, seeing a house up ahead, supported by stilts. Some nets were hanging from beams sprouting from the house. Scales jumped and hovered with her powered-up anklets to the net, grabbing on. She then realized she had forgotten about her companion, and worried that he wouldn't be able to catch up. That's when Arik jumped off the pad, soaring through the air and landing on the net, which he grabbed tightly. Scales blinked. "How did you-" Arik grinned. "Raptors jump good. Raptors jump real good." With that, he started climbing up the net, pulling himself to the beam at the top. Scales shrugged and followed him. From the top of the beam, they looked around and saw a dock beneath the house, a ladder leading down to it from the building. A boat was tethered to the dock, looking ready for use. Scales hovered down to it. Arik looked at the dock for a second, doing some quick calculations, then jumped for it, landing neatly in the center of it. As Scales looked at him with awe, he said, " Like I told you, raptors jump real good." There were some noises and creaks from the building above them. "Eh? Wot's this? Who's on me dock?" a voice screeched from the house. There were some more noises, then somebody climbed down the ladder, stepping onto the dock. The person blinked, surprised by her visitors. "Well, what have we here? A pair of lizards come to visit old Bristol in her humble abode?" The person was a woman, a very old human woman. She was stooped over from age and wore an ugly gray cloak. She had gnarled hands with fingers that ended in broken fingernails sharp enough to be claws. Her face was hideous, to say the least. She had a crooked nose, like a hook. Her eyes were like bulging orbs, one yellow, the other purple. Her mouth was in an open-mouthed grin, revealing numerous empty gums and a few teeth. The teeth that remained were cracked, split, and mossy. She had numerous warts, making her face look even worse. She had long, stringy white hair that reached the ground. "Eh, I haven't had many visitors in a long while." Scales and Arik recoiled slightly. Her breath was atrocious, they could smell it from five feet away, like rotting garbage mixed with some radioactive waste. It was obvious from the number of flies buzzing around her that she hadn't been clean a day in her life. Trying not to be polite, and also trying not to faint from the smell generated by the old lady, Scales spoke up. "We're looking for something in the swamp. Would you be able to help us?" The women, Bristol cracked a hideous grin again. "Ah, ye'll be looking for the treasure, eh? The goblin keeps it in his cave in the middle of the swamp. Nobody knows where he lives but me." "Can you show us how to reach this cave?" Arik asked. The lady walked towards them, going for the boat. "Aye, I'll even take ye there if ye wish." She climbed in the boat and picked up a long pole. "Well, what are ye waiting for? Get in!" Reluctantly, Scales and Arik got in the boat, trying not to choke from the fumes coming from Bristol. She dipped the pole in the water and pushed off from the dock, rowing deeper into the swamp.
Sorry to end it with a cliffhanger! Did you like this chapter, despite all the stink? Anyway, the next chapter should be up soon, so don't you worry a bit. Anyway, now it's time for our interview! Scales: Hiya. Me: So Scales, how do you like medieval England? Scales: Hate it. It's disgusting. Me: Sorry to hear that. We have a question or two from our old fan, Ultrafan X. Scales: What does he want to know? Me: First off, he wants to know whether any of the other characters or Sonic will be appearing in this story. Scales: (Sighs, holding her head.) Look, Ultrafan X, not to be rude or anything, but Sonic is not appearing in this universe, EVER. He will not be showing up in any time, place, or form in this fic or series. Me: He also would like to know whether General Scales from Star Fox Adventures and Sauron are related. Scales: (Smirks.) I doubt it, considering the fact that the General lives on the Dinosaur Planet in the Lylat System, a whole other galaxy away from here. Me: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, he has a gift for you. Scales: Is it weasels for me to eat? Me: Yes. Scales: Good. Me: Ultrafan says he went into the past and hunted down every weasel that ever lived. That means there's a whole lot of weasels, so he suggests you share them with Arik. Scales: Okay, I'll call him over for dinner then. Me: You do that. Anyway, that's it for now. Thank you for reading, and please review. Scales: Oh, and could you please not send over anymore weasels? I think that after Arik and I are done with this batch, we're going to be a little sick of them for some time. Something else would be nice. Bye now!