Chapter Four
Lately Hermione couldn't stop thinking about Harry, and she didn't know why. She knew that they could never again have what they once had, so why was she suddenly so interested in him? Hermione thought back to her school days. Of course, she had more than forgiven Harry, but it hurt to think about what happened, just the same. She knew that she had work to do, but she uncharacteristically began to let her mind drift.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione looked at her boyfriend of six months, and she couldn't help but feel love for him welling up in her chest. It was their last week of school before they would enter the "real world". She had a feeling that she and Harry would be together forever, though she had her doubts. Hermione was afraid that they might go different directions after school. She loved Harry very much, but she wasn't so sure that he loved her; he had never told her so. But then again, she had never told Harry she loved him, either. Hermione looked up into those beautiful jade eyes and felt her heart melt. She wanted to be with him forever.
Harry looked into the warm chestnut eyes of the girl he loved. He was about to do the hardest thing he would probably ever have to do: he was going to break up with Hermione. Losing Hermione was the last thing he wanted to do, but he was afraid. What he really wanted to do was propose, but he knew that Hermione was never one to rush into things, and he was terrified that she'd say no. He never wanted to lose her, but he was afraid that it just wouldn't work. He desperately wanted Hermione as his wife, but fear held him back.
Harry sighed, feeling horrible for what he was about to do. Hermione looked so beautiful, and so loving. He hated himself for doing this. He took a deep breath and said, "Hermione, I think we should stop seeing each other. I really don't want to do this, but I'm afraid that we'll just be going different directions after Hogwarts." That sounded even harsher and crueler than he had expected.
Hermione could hardly comprehend the words that Harry had said. She felt tears welling up end her eyes, and she fought a losing battle to keep them back. She understood why Harry was breaking up with her, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Heartbroken, she managed to say, "I understand, Harry."
Harry felt horrible. He gently wiped a tear from her eye, whispering, "I'm sorry."
"Don't feel bad, Harry. This was inevitable," Hermione said softly. She knew in her heart that things would never work out between them after Hogwarts, but she had always clung to the little sliver of hope she had. Now that hope was shattered. She wasn't exactly angry with Harry, it wasn't all his fault, but she couldn't keep the disappointment and grief from welling up inside of her.
That last week of school was practically torture; it was very awkward for Harry and Hermione. They tried to act normally toward each other, but they couldn't mask their insecurities. Ron awkwardly tried to keep up conversations with his two friends, but didn't succeed. Their friendship didn't end on a bad note, though; on the train ride home on the last day of school, they opened up and began to act more like friends again. Sadly, they would hardly see each other at all over the next five years.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thinking about this period in her life almost brought Hermione to tears all over again. She knew that she was still in love with Harry, and there was no point in denying it anymore. Of course she wasn't going to act on it, she and Harry had both grown up and she was sure that Harry no longer harbored feelings for her. She knew that she needed to move on; she was acting so childishly, but at the same time she knew she couldn't move on.
She looked at her desk clock, which read 10:15 AM. It was going to be a long day.
* * *
After work Hermione decided that she needed to go shopping; she needed to buy Ron and Lavender a wedding present and she direly needed new dress robes for the wedding.
Hermione hated to admit it, but she didn't have very many friends. She had grown less uptight over the years, but work was still the most important thing in her life. She and Susan talked occasionally, but they weren't really friends; Susan normally found Hermione to be a little dull and Hermione thought Susan was a little too bubbly, which got on her nerves. Hermione had been friends with Ginny Weasley at Hogwarts, but when Ginny began flirting with Harry while he was going out with Hermione, the two girls had had a terrible fight and their friendship had ended.
Normally not having any girl friends didn't bother Hermione, but at times like this, when she needed to go shopping, Hermione really wished she had someone to help her. Hermione had never much liked shopping, nor had she ever had the remotest interest in fashion, so she had no idea what was in style and what wasn't.
Hermione went to downtown Hogsmeade and randomly selected a clothing store.
"May I help you?" a store employee asked Hermione, carefully taking in the girl's shabby, out of style robes.
"Yes, I need a nice set of dress robes," Hermione stated matter-of -factly, fully aware that the clerk was looking at her in a rather patronizing way.
Hermione spent a great deal of time at the store before selecting a set of fairly plain but pretty robes in a pale blue-green color.
She bought an elegant (and fairly expensive) photo album for Ron and Lavender's wedding present. She hurried home and opened the box of photographs that she had stored in the back of her bedroom closet.
She sifted through the pictures, memories of her days at Hogwarts running through her mind. 'Now is not the time to daydream and to reminisce' she chastised herself. Then she quickly found all of the pictures she had of Ron and Lavender together and put them in the new photo album.
Later, she wrapped up the gift and sent it by Owl Post to Ron and Lavender's address. She was excited about the wedding; it isn't every day one's best friend gets married. As she thought more about weddings and happiness, she grew felt sadness and loneliness grow inside her. Hermione looked sullenly out the window. She couldn't help but wonder, would she ever get married? Harry was her first real boyfriend, and he had also been her last. It seemed that men just weren't interested in her. She couldn't help but wonder if anything was wrong with her. She felt the familiar prick of tears behind her eyes as she slowly stood and went to bed.
Lately Hermione couldn't stop thinking about Harry, and she didn't know why. She knew that they could never again have what they once had, so why was she suddenly so interested in him? Hermione thought back to her school days. Of course, she had more than forgiven Harry, but it hurt to think about what happened, just the same. She knew that she had work to do, but she uncharacteristically began to let her mind drift.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione looked at her boyfriend of six months, and she couldn't help but feel love for him welling up in her chest. It was their last week of school before they would enter the "real world". She had a feeling that she and Harry would be together forever, though she had her doubts. Hermione was afraid that they might go different directions after school. She loved Harry very much, but she wasn't so sure that he loved her; he had never told her so. But then again, she had never told Harry she loved him, either. Hermione looked up into those beautiful jade eyes and felt her heart melt. She wanted to be with him forever.
Harry looked into the warm chestnut eyes of the girl he loved. He was about to do the hardest thing he would probably ever have to do: he was going to break up with Hermione. Losing Hermione was the last thing he wanted to do, but he was afraid. What he really wanted to do was propose, but he knew that Hermione was never one to rush into things, and he was terrified that she'd say no. He never wanted to lose her, but he was afraid that it just wouldn't work. He desperately wanted Hermione as his wife, but fear held him back.
Harry sighed, feeling horrible for what he was about to do. Hermione looked so beautiful, and so loving. He hated himself for doing this. He took a deep breath and said, "Hermione, I think we should stop seeing each other. I really don't want to do this, but I'm afraid that we'll just be going different directions after Hogwarts." That sounded even harsher and crueler than he had expected.
Hermione could hardly comprehend the words that Harry had said. She felt tears welling up end her eyes, and she fought a losing battle to keep them back. She understood why Harry was breaking up with her, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Heartbroken, she managed to say, "I understand, Harry."
Harry felt horrible. He gently wiped a tear from her eye, whispering, "I'm sorry."
"Don't feel bad, Harry. This was inevitable," Hermione said softly. She knew in her heart that things would never work out between them after Hogwarts, but she had always clung to the little sliver of hope she had. Now that hope was shattered. She wasn't exactly angry with Harry, it wasn't all his fault, but she couldn't keep the disappointment and grief from welling up inside of her.
That last week of school was practically torture; it was very awkward for Harry and Hermione. They tried to act normally toward each other, but they couldn't mask their insecurities. Ron awkwardly tried to keep up conversations with his two friends, but didn't succeed. Their friendship didn't end on a bad note, though; on the train ride home on the last day of school, they opened up and began to act more like friends again. Sadly, they would hardly see each other at all over the next five years.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thinking about this period in her life almost brought Hermione to tears all over again. She knew that she was still in love with Harry, and there was no point in denying it anymore. Of course she wasn't going to act on it, she and Harry had both grown up and she was sure that Harry no longer harbored feelings for her. She knew that she needed to move on; she was acting so childishly, but at the same time she knew she couldn't move on.
She looked at her desk clock, which read 10:15 AM. It was going to be a long day.
* * *
After work Hermione decided that she needed to go shopping; she needed to buy Ron and Lavender a wedding present and she direly needed new dress robes for the wedding.
Hermione hated to admit it, but she didn't have very many friends. She had grown less uptight over the years, but work was still the most important thing in her life. She and Susan talked occasionally, but they weren't really friends; Susan normally found Hermione to be a little dull and Hermione thought Susan was a little too bubbly, which got on her nerves. Hermione had been friends with Ginny Weasley at Hogwarts, but when Ginny began flirting with Harry while he was going out with Hermione, the two girls had had a terrible fight and their friendship had ended.
Normally not having any girl friends didn't bother Hermione, but at times like this, when she needed to go shopping, Hermione really wished she had someone to help her. Hermione had never much liked shopping, nor had she ever had the remotest interest in fashion, so she had no idea what was in style and what wasn't.
Hermione went to downtown Hogsmeade and randomly selected a clothing store.
"May I help you?" a store employee asked Hermione, carefully taking in the girl's shabby, out of style robes.
"Yes, I need a nice set of dress robes," Hermione stated matter-of -factly, fully aware that the clerk was looking at her in a rather patronizing way.
Hermione spent a great deal of time at the store before selecting a set of fairly plain but pretty robes in a pale blue-green color.
She bought an elegant (and fairly expensive) photo album for Ron and Lavender's wedding present. She hurried home and opened the box of photographs that she had stored in the back of her bedroom closet.
She sifted through the pictures, memories of her days at Hogwarts running through her mind. 'Now is not the time to daydream and to reminisce' she chastised herself. Then she quickly found all of the pictures she had of Ron and Lavender together and put them in the new photo album.
Later, she wrapped up the gift and sent it by Owl Post to Ron and Lavender's address. She was excited about the wedding; it isn't every day one's best friend gets married. As she thought more about weddings and happiness, she grew felt sadness and loneliness grow inside her. Hermione looked sullenly out the window. She couldn't help but wonder, would she ever get married? Harry was her first real boyfriend, and he had also been her last. It seemed that men just weren't interested in her. She couldn't help but wonder if anything was wrong with her. She felt the familiar prick of tears behind her eyes as she slowly stood and went to bed.