What's happened to all my reviews? My fans? What happened to Maverick?
Where is everybody? Aren't you even reading this thing anymore?
Grrr...REVIEW OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REVIEW OR THE HOSTAGE GETS
IT!
Scales: What hostage?
Me:...Sorry, stress is getting to me. I just wrote an eight-page essay. It
was a little difficult, and I have to give a speech on Tuesday, and I have
a stupid research assignment due next month, and-
Scales: Enough with the sob story! Just write!
Me: Sorry, sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't have time for games!
Scales blinked. "Where am I?" She asked. She was strangely enough wearing a wedding dress, despite the fact that clothes didn't really look right on her. She was at the altar in the Temple of Chaos on Angel Island. There didn't seem to be anyone there except for Chaos, and Arik who was somehow wearing a tuxedo. Scales suddenly realized they were getting married! Never mind the logistics of how she had gotten here or why she couldn't quite remember beating Sauron or grabbing all the Rubies, this was what she had secretly desired! The liquid god began the ceremony. "Children of the Earth, we are gathered here today to unite these two reptiles in wedded bliss. Please bear in mind that any distractions or noises from you all before this ceremony is completed could possibly destroy the sanctity of this event. Therefore, please refrain from making any disruptions. Anyway, once the decision is made, it shall be final and unbreakable, a sign of your eternal love for one another. Arik Timewatcher, do you take this female to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold through good times and bad times, through sickness and wellness, to love forevermore and stay with until the end of time itself?" Arik answered without pause or hesitation. "I do." Chaos nodded and turned to Scales. "And do you, Scales Robotnik, take this male to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold through good times and bad times, through sickness and wellness, to love forevermore and stay with until the end of time itself?" "I do." Said Scales immediately, taking a sideways glance at Arik. Chaos looked around. "If there are any who see reason that this loving couple should not be united in eternal matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." The temple was empty, so of course nobody objected. Chaos raised his hands. A ring with a ruby in it appeared on Arik's ring finger, a ring with a sapphire appearing on Scales'. "Then by the power vested in me by the Creator, I, Chaos, God of Destruction pronounce these two reptiles husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Scales and Arik turned to one another and leaned closer, about to kiss... And that's when Scales woke up. "Damn it!" she yelled, hearing the crowing Archaeopteryx that had woken her up. She angrily threw a pillow at the lizard bird, knocking it off the railing of the balcony outside her room. The reptile squawked and fell over the edge. Grumbling, Scales got up and started getting ready for breakfast.
Arik blinked. "Where am I?" he asked. He was in a bright cave with strange fumes emitting from holes in the wall. In the center of the room was a shallow pit with cushions. The raptor quickly recognized this as a mating cave. Arik's father had first lost his virginity to Arik's mother in one of these places. "What am I doing here?" he mumbled. He heard a soft growling. He looked around and saw Scales next to him. There was something different about her, especially in the strange, feral way she was looking at him. "Scales? How did we get here?" She growled softly again and grabbed his shoulder. She gently, though forcefully led him into the pit. "Um, what's going on?" he asked as she pushed him onto the cushions and jumped after him, pinning him to the ground. As Arik protested, the cyborg started nuzzling him. "S-scales! Stop that! Please stop that right this instant!" She pressed her head against his chest, purring. "Are you listening to me? Hello? Scales? Can you understand...me..." He trailed off as the fumes from the holes in the wall entered his nostrils, taking effect. All his more civilized brain functions immediately shut down, his primal instincts taking over. He growled and grabbed Scales around the waist. She liked this and gripped his waist even tighter. They started licking one another's facial scales, getting closer to each other's mouths. As they both pushed their heads towards each other, their long tongues wrapped together, pulling the reptiles into a passionate kiss. They purred as they parted, and prepared to get even more intimate... And that's when Arik woke up. "Damn it!" he yelled, hearing the crowing Archaeopteryx that had woken him up. He angrily threw a pillow at the lizard bird, knocking it off the railing of the balcony outside his room. The reptile squawked and fell over the edge. Grumbling, Arik got up and started getting ready for breakfast.
Both reptiles headed downstairs at the same time, unhappy about the way their dreams had turned out. As Scales sat down at the table, Arik grabbed some meat from the freezer, making sure it was Archaeopteryx. He put the frozen meat in a small microwave that nuked the pieces of flesh to perfection in only five seconds, then placed them on the table. "You had a ruined dream too?" Arik asked, seeing Scales' sour expression. She nodded. "Damn Archaeopteryx. Is this Archaeopteryx meat?" "Yes." "Good." She started eating the drumsticks of the Archaeopteryx. "So, what was your dream about?' Arik hesitated. "Nothing much." He lied. "Same." Scales lied back. She swallowed a large piece of bird meat. "So, was there anything else you were trying to tell me last night?" "Uh, no!" Arik said quickly. "Same here." Scales said just as quickly. They said nothing for a few minutes, eating quietly. "So, where are we going today?" she asked, trying to change the subject. "Well, let's see." Arik took out the Master Ruby. The Earth appeared once again. The globe stopped spinning, and the vision zoomed in to show Mexico. An X appeared on it, and the numbers 1510 appeared. "Mexico? Hmm, I don't recall ever going to the age of the Aztecs." Arik said. "So you've never been there?" Scales asked. "Isn't that what I just said? Well, guess we've better head on over there. Wonder what it'll be like." Arik grabbed Scales' wrist. "Chronos Control!"
Soon enough, they reappeared in Mexico, on the outskirts of a huge lake. In the middle of the lake was the glorious city of Tenochtitlan, an architectural wonder. It was like Venice in a way. It was cut by dozens of canals and bridges, with buildings of all shapes and sizes within. Four artificial causeways led to the city from the shores of the lake. In the center of the city was an enormous temple, a great ziggurat surrounded by a few walls and buildings. The top of the ziggurat had two separate buildings, each a shrine to a different god. One was blue, one was red. Dozens of stone serpent heads protruded from the sides of the ziggurat. The city was a marvel to gaze upon. "So THIS is the city that was defiled by the Spaniards." Said Scales, awed. "It's better than I heard it would be," said Arik, equally awed. "I don't believe any of my family has been here since the days of great-great-great- great grandfather Tok'pal. Where should we start our search for the Ruby?" Scales thought a moment. "Well, perhaps we should find Emperor Montezuma. I believe he ruled Aztec in this time period, didn't he?" Arik nodded. "Yes, he did." "Well, perhaps he knows where we could find the Ruby." Scales suggested. Arik shrugged. "Sounds reasonable. But how do we find him?" Scales looked over the panorama of the city. "Well, that I'm not sure of. Maybe we could ask for directions?" "That could work. Are we going to walk or warp in there?" asked Arik. Scales looked at the causeways. "Those things look pretty long, and they're guarded. How about we just warp right in?" "Sounds good to me. Hang on!" She grabbed the raptor's wrist. "Chaos Control!" They vanished in a flash of light.
They materialized in an empty courtyard they had seen from the side of the lake. After exiting the courtyard, they started making their way through the streets of Tenochtitlan, passing numerous humans and more tropical anthropomorphs, such as parrots and jaguars. "So, where should we ask for information?" asked Arik. "How about right here? I'm sure somebody knows where the residence of Montezuma is. Hey you!" she yelled to an eagle walking by. "Who, me?" asked the eagle. "Yeah, you! Would you happen to know where we could find Emperor Montezuma?" Scales asked. "Uh, I know he lives in his palace." Said the eagle, sounding unsure. "Well, where can we find his palace?" asked Scales. The eagle scratched his head. "I think it's at the corner of Tlaloc and Texcoco." They looked at the eagle blankly. "And where would that be?" asked Arik. The eagle frowned. "What are you guys, out of town or something?" "Yeah, we're from...uh...Teotihuacan." Said Scales, dredging her mind for any information from her history lessons and recalling the name of another ancient Aztec city. "Oh really!" said the eagle, surprised. "You came all the way down from Teotihuacan just to see the capital of the greatest empire in the entire history of the world? Well, seeing as how you're tourists I guess I'm obligated to tell you directions." "Thank you very much!" said Arik, relieved they wouldn't have to wander around this enormous city. The eagle pointed down the street. "Okay, it's simple. First you go down this road and take the fifth turn on the right, then head two blocks down till you reach Mendoza Lane. Turn left from there and keep heading north until you reach the big Codex wall, then bear left from there until you reach the statue of a warrior. From there, you just head northwest on Tula Avenue until you find the small ziggurat, then you just turn right on Toltec Boulevard and go straight, then turn left at Zapotec and go left, left, right, straight, straight, left, right, then straight and you're there! The palace is the small ziggurat with turquoise stones on the walls. You can't miss it!" Arik stared blankly. "Do you think you could make us a map?" Scales cuffed him on the shoulder. "No need, I remember all of that. Thank you, kind citizen!" She grabbed Arik by the shoulder and led him down the street. The eagle eyed the reptiles for a minute, then sighed and walked away. "Damn tourists, they keep on getting weirder."
Scales' excellent memory served well, allowing the two to work their way through Tenochtitlan to Montezuma's residence. The guards at the front gate were not chimpanzees. They were monkeys! Just kidding. Actually, they were a pair of nasty-looking jaguars with pointy spears. The jungle cats growled and locked their spears over the door. "What do you want?" snarled one of the jaguars. "Do you think we could just get in for a second? We kind of need to talk to Montezuma." Said Arik. "What for?" asked the other jaguar. "We have to talk to the Emperor about the whereabouts of a special jewel." Said Scales. The guards chuckled. "Right. Go back to wherever you came from, pedestrian." Scales and Arik walked away from the jaguars. "That went well." Arik grumbled. "Got any ideas on how we can get past those cats?" Scales asked him. Arik thought for a moment. "Wait here, let me try something." Arik walked back to the jaguars, who blocked the gate again. Scales couldn't quite hear what was going on, but she thought she saw Arik offering the felines some gold coins. The guards took the offered bribe, then grabbed him roughly and threw him away. The raptor landed with a thud next to Scales. He groaned and got up. "That went well." Said Scales sarcastically. "How about we just freeze time and run past them?" "Why didn't I think of that?" he complained. "On three then. One, two, three! Chaos Control!" Scales said. "Chronos Control!" Arik said at the exact same time. Everything turned a strangely retro tint and stopped moving. "Since we both froze time, it should take a little longer to wear off." "Yeah, but that extra time will be for nothing if we waste it jawing around out here! Come on!" They ran by the guards, opened the gate and went through. They closed it behind them and rushed down the walkway in front of them as the time freeze wore off and everyone returned to their normal business. Staying quiet so as not to elicit any attention, they walked towards Montezuma's ziggurat. The area around it was a nice, lush garden. A small moat surrounded the residence of the Aztec Emperor, which they walked across before starting up the stairs leading to the building at the top of the pyramid. There were maybe a few hundred steps in all, so it was a bit of a trek. After a climb, they fell to their knees at the top, panting. "Well, that was a bit of a hike, wasn't it?" Arik said when he had recovered somewhat. Scales nodded breathlessly. "Hey, I have an idea for the next time. Let's just warp if we need to get up or down this thing, okay?" "Okay." Arik agreed. He stood up. "Shall we go inside?" She nodded. "Let's see the Emperor." They walked into the door. The inside was a very nice chamber with walls lined with gold. The ceiling was a big, freaky mosaic of some unidentifiable thing. Two doorways at the back of the room led to stairs. Between the doors was a throne with a huge gold disc carved with incredibly ornate and somewhat ugly pictures behind it. Sitting on the throne was a large green anaconda with a red cape. "What! Who dares intrude uninvited in my chambers?" demanded the snake. "Well, we-" started Arik. "Silence! Did I say you could talk? On your knees, worms!" barked the snake. The reptiles quickly got on the ground. "Now, what are you doing here? Answer me, girl with that thing on your back!" Scales quickly answered, though she took offense at the serpent's description of her. "We've come in search of a magical jewel. We believe you might know of its whereabouts." The cobra eyed her. "Jewel? Explain, you with the sickle claws!" Arik scowled momentarily, but answered, "We are looking for a large gemstone that looks like a cut diamond. It is colored brightly and shows visions of what may be if you look into its depths." The cobra, whom we know by now to be Montezuma, considered. "I believe I have heard of such a jewel. Tell me, you with the thing on your back, why should I tell you where you could find this gem?" Hiding her excitement that Montezuma probably knew exactly what they were talking about, Scales answered, "Because there are some other people coming who want the jewel as well. We need to get it before they do, otherwise very bad things will happen." "Hmmm..." Montezuma obviously wasn't convinced. "Exactly what kind of 'bad things'?" "Well...would you believe that the very fabric of time and space could unravel, destroying the universe?" Scales said. Montezuma still wasn't really convinced. I mean, would you be? "I know of the jewel which you seek. I will tell you its location IF you do me a favor." The anaconda turned his head to look at the big disc behind him. "In only a day or two, the Ceremony of Fire is upon us, which I must lead, of course. I need a suitable headdress for that Ceremony. If I have no headdress, I cannot perform in the Ceremony, and the sun itself will be extinguished. My headdress maker ran off earlier this morning, leaving me with nothing. If you can get me a proper headdress, I will tell you the location of this mysterious gemstone." He gestured with his tail to the door. "You are dismissed. If you come back without a headdress, you will be sacrificed to Huitzilopochtli as my apology for not being able to do the Ceremony properly. Begone!" Scales and Arik quickly got out. "Well, that was interesting." Said Scales. "A bit of an inflated ego, huh?" Arik shrugged. "He can afford the ego, he's Emperor of an entire nation. Now, let's figure out where we can get a good headdress." "Okay, let me just warp us down to the street." She touched Arik's hand. "Chaos Control!" They vanished in a flash of light.
They reappeared on the street outside Montezuma's residence. Nobody noticed. "So, where do we begin?" asked Arik. Scales grinned. "I know how. Hey you!" she yelled at a human walking by. The woman turned around. "Who, me?" "Yeah, you! Would you happen to know where we could find a headdress fit for an Emperor performing in the upcoming Ceremony of Fire?" she asked. The woman thought a moment. "Yeah, I think there's a shop down on Market Street that makes really good headdresses." "Great! How do we get there?" Scales asked. "Oh it's easy! All you have to do is go down Tlaloc Road here, then take the second left, third right, seventh left and tenth right and you're there! I believe the shop is called the Headdress Emporium and has a picture of a big green Quetzal hanging above the door." The woman explained. "Thank you! Come on Arik, let's go!" Scales grabbed Arik and started leading him down the street. The woman looked after them for a moment. "Wonder if they're married. Ah well, at least that girl had sense enough to ask directions instead of blindly roaming throughout this massive city like most tourists, that's a good sign." She turned and walked away, continuing her business.
The duo quickly ended up at the marketplace, like the bazaar in Atlantis but much bigger. Arik had to constantly make sure Scales was in his sight, otherwise she would be rushing over to every tent, blanket and store in sight. After a few minutes, they found the appropriate shop. They couldn't read the name, but the quetzal on the front of the store told them it was the right place. Inside the store were several elaborate and pretty headdresses mounted on the walls. Sitting behind a counter was a plump armadillo. "Well, hello there!" said the armadillo. "What can I do for you?" "We're looking for a headdress." Said Arik. The armadillo grinned. "Well I can see that, otherwise why would you have come in here? So, what kind of headdress are you folks looking for?" Scales walked over to the counter. "Would you happen to have a headdress good enough for, say, the Ceremony of Fire?" The clerk frowned. "Ceremony of Fire? I would think so, why?" "Emperor Montezuma sent us to get him a headdress for the ceremony tomorrow night. He told us not to come back without a really suitable one." Explained Arik. The armadillo's eyes rose. "Montezuma himself wants one of my headdresses?! Hold on, let me see what I've got in stock!" The mammal ran through a door that was behind him, slamming it shut as he went through. They could hear screams and rants and various other noises from behind the door. The reptiles looked at each other a little anxiously. After a few minutes, and what sounded like a safe crashing, the armadillo burst through the door, startling the duo. "Aha! I've found it! My best headdress!" He said, holding it up. It consisted of a horseshoe-shaped metal piece that was fit onto one's head. There were four holes spaced on the piece of metal. Thirty long feathers were attached to the curved part of the metal piece, most of them green, but the few at the very top and middle colored blue. It was very beautiful, for a headdress. "Well, what do you think? Will you buy it?" "Why are there holes in the metal part?" asked Scales. The armadillo looked at the headpiece. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Where are the gold balls?! It's ruined without the gold balls!" screamed the clerk. "What gold balls?" Scales asked, worried. "The four holes are supposed to be settings for these little gold balls that make the headdress complete. Without them, it's just a funky hat! Oh, I'm ruined! The Emperor will never accept something like this!" wailed the mammal. "Calm down! Where can we find some of these gold balls? Maybe we can just get some new ones!" suggested Arik. The armadillo thought a moment. "I suppose you could find some at the jewelry store just down the street. Yeah, I think they have the right kind of balls! If you can get me four gold balls, I can finish the headdress!" "Great, let's go then!" said Scales, heading for the door. "Wait! Each ball must be exactly one-fourth of a handspan in diameter, or they won't fit!" said the armadillo urgently. "Don't worry, we'll get you your balls." Said Arik. There was a pause. "That sounded...wrong." Scales grabbed Arik's wrist. "Come on, let's get those gold pieces!" She pulled him out of the shop and back into the market. Once outside, Arik looked around at the massive marketplace. "So, where should we look?" "The armadillo said we could find some gold balls at the store down the street. Let's go there!" So, they went down the street, on the lookout for anything that might be what they were looking for. They quickly spotted a tent with some jewelry and entered. The merchant selling the jewelry was a large turtle with a fairly sharp beak. "Hello, how may I help you?" asked the merchant. "Would you happen to have gold balls?" asked Scales. The turtle blinked. "How dare you! I will not tolerate that kind of vulgarity in my jewelry shop! Out, out!" "Oh, she was talking about little balls made of gold for decorative purposes, not, well, you know." Said Arik quickly. The turtle looked confused for a moment, then got it. "Oh, you mean THOSE kinds of gold balls! Sure, I've got plenty. Do you want them set in something or just as they are?" "As they are, if you please." Said Scales. "What size, and how many?" asked the merchant. "Four please, each exactly one-fourth of a handspan." Said Arik. "Just a second." Said the turtle. He retracted his head and arms into his shell and started rummaging. "Now where are they? Oh, here they are." He popped back out, holding four small golden balls in one hand. "That'll be fifty melon seeds, or twenty five cacao beans, or fifteen ax heads, or ten jade beads, or five quetzal feathers." Arik and Scales exchanged glances. "Would you accept coinage?" Arik asked. "Let me see what you've got." The merchant said. Arik reached into his dimension pocket and took out a variety of different coins, many of which were gold. The turtle examined them, even bit one. "I've never seen any coins like these before. Sorry, can't take them. They could be counterfeit. I can't give you the goods if you can't give me anything worth trading." Scales got an idea. "Well, would you accept this?" She took out the gorgeous necklace Arik had bought her in Atlantis. The turtle's eyes bulged. "What are you doing with something like that?! Put it away, put it away!" Scales quickly obeyed, surprised. "I can't take something like that, a necklace that beautiful only belongs on the neck of an equally beautiful woman like yourself!" Scales blushed. Arik looked jealous for a moment, but quickly hid it. "Besides, its value far outshines everything else in my humble shop. If you gave it to me, I would be unable to give you anything equal in value, for it is far greater than everything in this tent put together. So, I guess I can't give you the balls. Sorry." Scales looked disappointed. "Ah man!" Arik suddenly got an idea. "Actually, I believe I do have something that is good enough to get me and my companion those gold balls." "Oh?" asked the merchant. "Yes. Chronos Control!" Time suddenly froze. Scales gaped as Arik grabbed the four balls from the turtle's hand and started running for the exit. "Arik, what are you doing?!" "Securing us the headdress, what does it look like?!" he yelled back at her. She shook her head and ran after him, catching up to him near the Emporium as the time freeze wore off. She frowned at him for a moment. "I can't believe you stole those!" she whispered fiercely, so nobody would hear. "Hey, I just did what I had to-" Arik started to argue. "I mean, I was right about to do that with Chaos Control! I'm surprised you did that, I never knew you had it in you!" said Scales. Arik blinked. "I'll take that as a compliment. Come on, let's get that headdress." They went into the store. Arik handed the armadillo the balls. "Here you go." The clerk looked excited. "Yes! Now I can complete the headdress!" He inserted a gold ball into each hole, making sure they were in tightly. He was about to hand it to Arik when he paused. "Oh, I almost forgot. I'll need a little payment." Arik and Scales glanced at each other. "It's your turn." He said. She nodded. "Right. Chaos Control!" A millisecond later, the armadillo was greatly confused to find that the two customers were gone, as was the headdress he had been holding.
The reptiles couldn't help laughing after they had warped back to Montezuma's place. "You know, that was actually kind of fun! I mean, I don't want to rob anything on a regular basis, but it was still kind of fun, you know?" said Scales. Arik nodded. "I understand perfectly. Now come on, let's give this thing to Montezuma!" "Well, I'm not climbing all those steps again. So grab on!" Arik quickly took her hand. "Chaos Control!" They warped to the top of the ziggurat and went inside. Montezuma hissed as they entered. "On the ground!" They quickly got down. "Did you bring me my headdress?" he asked sinisterly. Arik took out the headpiece. "Yes, O Great Emperor!" "Excellent! Bring it here, bring it here!" Arik got up and walked over to the serpent, putting the headdress on the royal anaconda. "Get back over there! You with the thing on your back, how do I look?" To tell the truth, Montezuma looked like a freak wearing the headdress, but Scales couldn't say that. She quickly fished for compliments to say. "It makes you look like, uh, like, uh, like the sexiest reptile alive." She said quickly. Arik barely held back a laugh. Montezuma seemed pleased. "Well, I already was, but thank you for the appraisal. Now, I believe I promised to tell you two where to find the jewel. A long time ago, one of my ancestors was given a strange gemstone by a mysterious reptile. The gem showed frightening images of men in armor with weird sticks killing people, and razing Tenochtitlan. The gem was thought to be evil, and sealed within the cursed tomb deep inside of the Great Temple. If you wish to take the gem, you will have to venture into the ancient tomb and retrieve it from the golden monster forged to guard it, the Grolgoth." He tossed a small gold tablet at Arik. "This will let the priest at the Temple know I sent you and allow either of you to enter the tomb. Now, leave me be! I have to start preparing for the ceremony." Arik picked up the tablet and headed outside, followed by Scales. "So, shall we ask for directions again?" he asked. Scales shook her head. "Why bother? We can get there instantly. I can see it from here, so we can warp there." "Ah, I see." He took her hand. "Chaos Control!" She yelled. They vanished.
They reappeared at the very top of the gigantic pyramid. They could now easily see the two shrines in greater detail. The blue shrine had pretty mosaics that looked like falling rain on it. The red one had over a hundred actual skulls imbedded in the walls. Screams could be heard from the red shrine, and a river of blood oozed out of it and started falling down the very long stairs of the ziggurat. Scales and Arik shuddered. "I recommend not going in the one with the blood coming out of it." Said Scales. "I agree completely." Said Arik. So, they headed into the blue shrine. It was calm and peaceful, with strange, poorly drawn pictures covering the walls. There was an altar with an ugly face carved into it, and a man in robes who had to be the priest. He frowned as they came in. "What are you ruffians doing here?" he asked rudely. "We're looking for the cursed tomb." Said Scales. "Cursed tomb? There is no such thing as the cursed tomb-" Arik held up the tablet Montezuma had given him. "-Which is in fact deep inside of this very temple. Follow me." Said the priest, obviously cowed by Arik's presentation of the tablet. He walked over to the wall and poked the eyes of two drawings. There was a rumbling, and a part of the wall slid apart, revealing a secret passage. "This way, please." The priest entered the passageway. It was very dark inside. The man produced a torch and struck it against the wall, lighting it. The flickering torchlight illuminated the small passage, revealing a spiral staircase. The priest silently led the way down the stairs, followed by the adventuring reptiles. After maybe twenty minutes of walking down the stairs, quieted by the priest whenever either of them tried to start a conversation, they finally reached the bottom. "Whoa." Scales whispered. The room they were now in was lit by some sort of magical glow. It was a long rectangular chamber, with pillars lining the walls. Between the pillars were mummies of dead Aztecs, wrapped in reed mats with ceremonial burial masks over their decayed faces. An ancient altar encrusted with stained blood sat before a sealed door. The priest lit some sconces with his torch, lighting up the room. "This is the entrance to the cursed tomb, a domain of Mictlantecuhtli, the god of death."
In the marketplace, a white portal formed in front of the Headdress Emporium, frightening the shoppers. Sauron and a legion of his soldiers jumped out of the portal. As the people ran screaming, many Massopondylus and a few raptors chased after them hungrily. The remaining troops looked to Sauron for orders. The raptor sniffed the air. "Mmm, I think I like the scent of this place. Nice, clean, with plenty of plants and meat to go." He noticed the giant ziggurat. "I would say that's the place to start. Scarface, Blacktail, Redeye, Hookclaw, and Bloodwrath, you're with me. The rest of you start ravaging this city. I want five of you to go back and get some Greatwings so we can blast this city from the sky." The troops saluted and went to their respective tasks. The tyrant lizard started running for the pyramid, followed by his men. Smoke started rising to the sky and screams could be heard everywhere as the dinosaurs began their assault.
How was that for a chapter? Surprised for my choice of a time period? Good! I wanted to go somewhere unexpected for a change, I don't recall many time travel stories involving ancient Mexico. Well, here's our interview! Scales: Hi. Me: I have school tomorrow and it's getting late, so let's make this quick. Did you like Tenochtitlan? Scales: Yeah, I think it's kind of nice. Me: Good! What about Montezuma? Scales: He's a big jerk. Me: That's nice. Did you enjoy your dream? Scales: Yes actually, too bad that stupid Archaeopteryx ruined everything. Me: You realize that next chapter, Arik will be getting most of the action. Scales: Yeah, but he deserves a turn of his own. Me: Well, I'm glad you're okay with that. Anyway, Ultrafan X gave me two tickets to Reno! Not sure why. Scales: Maybe to recover from whatever's making you act weird lately? Me: Nonsense! HobbesKnux has another Dimensional Gift Basket for you. This one contains Universe Meat in the shape of Snively, the Demonic Four, and Satan. It also contains invincible dolls in the shapes of the aforementioned villains and other dolls in the shape of all your friends! Scales: That's sweet. Give it here. Me: Okay. (Hands it over.) Ultrafan X also went against my will and placed the last Chronos Ruby on Angel island in Shadow the Hedgehog 3. Fortunately, I went there using author powers and put it back where it belongs. To make up for it, he sent you this book entitled "How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Scales: Give it to me! Me: Sorry, can't. It's a bomb. He probably sent it to keep you from beating him up again every time he mocks you and Arik's relationships in his reviews. Scales: Remind me to go Super on him next time he tries to mess with me. Me: My pleasure. Anyway, Maverick has finally made a comeback. He still hasn't perfected his elixir for Arik, but he's still trying. Scales: I hope he gets it working. Me: Not me! (Scales glares at him.) I mean, me too! Oh, Maverick wanted to know if Arik helped Napoleon with his campaigns and whether or not he has any booty from it. Scales: No, Arik's no good at campaign strategies and doesn't work well with armies. Besides, he would never accept loot. He's not that kind of raptor. Me: Okay. Maverick also requested we have the last Ruby be in some previous adventure of Shadow's, again. I don't think I need to answer that. Scales: I'm sorry everyone, but the Ruby is not anywhere near the present. To tell the truth, it's probably going to be in Egypt. Me: (Rolls eyes.) Great way to spoil the plot, Scales. Scales: Whoops, sorry. Me: Anyway, Maverick edited you into Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 and Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters. Scales: Why? Me: I dunno. Well, that's all the time we have for today, and I hope Arik's dream didn't freak you out! Scales: Actually, I kind of wish dream Me could have gotten a little more intimate with that hunk of prehistoric manliness. (Dreamy look in her eyes.) Me: Uh, right. Anyway, review or the hostage gets it! Scales: What hostage? Me: No hostage!
Scales blinked. "Where am I?" She asked. She was strangely enough wearing a wedding dress, despite the fact that clothes didn't really look right on her. She was at the altar in the Temple of Chaos on Angel Island. There didn't seem to be anyone there except for Chaos, and Arik who was somehow wearing a tuxedo. Scales suddenly realized they were getting married! Never mind the logistics of how she had gotten here or why she couldn't quite remember beating Sauron or grabbing all the Rubies, this was what she had secretly desired! The liquid god began the ceremony. "Children of the Earth, we are gathered here today to unite these two reptiles in wedded bliss. Please bear in mind that any distractions or noises from you all before this ceremony is completed could possibly destroy the sanctity of this event. Therefore, please refrain from making any disruptions. Anyway, once the decision is made, it shall be final and unbreakable, a sign of your eternal love for one another. Arik Timewatcher, do you take this female to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold through good times and bad times, through sickness and wellness, to love forevermore and stay with until the end of time itself?" Arik answered without pause or hesitation. "I do." Chaos nodded and turned to Scales. "And do you, Scales Robotnik, take this male to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold through good times and bad times, through sickness and wellness, to love forevermore and stay with until the end of time itself?" "I do." Said Scales immediately, taking a sideways glance at Arik. Chaos looked around. "If there are any who see reason that this loving couple should not be united in eternal matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." The temple was empty, so of course nobody objected. Chaos raised his hands. A ring with a ruby in it appeared on Arik's ring finger, a ring with a sapphire appearing on Scales'. "Then by the power vested in me by the Creator, I, Chaos, God of Destruction pronounce these two reptiles husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Scales and Arik turned to one another and leaned closer, about to kiss... And that's when Scales woke up. "Damn it!" she yelled, hearing the crowing Archaeopteryx that had woken her up. She angrily threw a pillow at the lizard bird, knocking it off the railing of the balcony outside her room. The reptile squawked and fell over the edge. Grumbling, Scales got up and started getting ready for breakfast.
Arik blinked. "Where am I?" he asked. He was in a bright cave with strange fumes emitting from holes in the wall. In the center of the room was a shallow pit with cushions. The raptor quickly recognized this as a mating cave. Arik's father had first lost his virginity to Arik's mother in one of these places. "What am I doing here?" he mumbled. He heard a soft growling. He looked around and saw Scales next to him. There was something different about her, especially in the strange, feral way she was looking at him. "Scales? How did we get here?" She growled softly again and grabbed his shoulder. She gently, though forcefully led him into the pit. "Um, what's going on?" he asked as she pushed him onto the cushions and jumped after him, pinning him to the ground. As Arik protested, the cyborg started nuzzling him. "S-scales! Stop that! Please stop that right this instant!" She pressed her head against his chest, purring. "Are you listening to me? Hello? Scales? Can you understand...me..." He trailed off as the fumes from the holes in the wall entered his nostrils, taking effect. All his more civilized brain functions immediately shut down, his primal instincts taking over. He growled and grabbed Scales around the waist. She liked this and gripped his waist even tighter. They started licking one another's facial scales, getting closer to each other's mouths. As they both pushed their heads towards each other, their long tongues wrapped together, pulling the reptiles into a passionate kiss. They purred as they parted, and prepared to get even more intimate... And that's when Arik woke up. "Damn it!" he yelled, hearing the crowing Archaeopteryx that had woken him up. He angrily threw a pillow at the lizard bird, knocking it off the railing of the balcony outside his room. The reptile squawked and fell over the edge. Grumbling, Arik got up and started getting ready for breakfast.
Both reptiles headed downstairs at the same time, unhappy about the way their dreams had turned out. As Scales sat down at the table, Arik grabbed some meat from the freezer, making sure it was Archaeopteryx. He put the frozen meat in a small microwave that nuked the pieces of flesh to perfection in only five seconds, then placed them on the table. "You had a ruined dream too?" Arik asked, seeing Scales' sour expression. She nodded. "Damn Archaeopteryx. Is this Archaeopteryx meat?" "Yes." "Good." She started eating the drumsticks of the Archaeopteryx. "So, what was your dream about?' Arik hesitated. "Nothing much." He lied. "Same." Scales lied back. She swallowed a large piece of bird meat. "So, was there anything else you were trying to tell me last night?" "Uh, no!" Arik said quickly. "Same here." Scales said just as quickly. They said nothing for a few minutes, eating quietly. "So, where are we going today?" she asked, trying to change the subject. "Well, let's see." Arik took out the Master Ruby. The Earth appeared once again. The globe stopped spinning, and the vision zoomed in to show Mexico. An X appeared on it, and the numbers 1510 appeared. "Mexico? Hmm, I don't recall ever going to the age of the Aztecs." Arik said. "So you've never been there?" Scales asked. "Isn't that what I just said? Well, guess we've better head on over there. Wonder what it'll be like." Arik grabbed Scales' wrist. "Chronos Control!"
Soon enough, they reappeared in Mexico, on the outskirts of a huge lake. In the middle of the lake was the glorious city of Tenochtitlan, an architectural wonder. It was like Venice in a way. It was cut by dozens of canals and bridges, with buildings of all shapes and sizes within. Four artificial causeways led to the city from the shores of the lake. In the center of the city was an enormous temple, a great ziggurat surrounded by a few walls and buildings. The top of the ziggurat had two separate buildings, each a shrine to a different god. One was blue, one was red. Dozens of stone serpent heads protruded from the sides of the ziggurat. The city was a marvel to gaze upon. "So THIS is the city that was defiled by the Spaniards." Said Scales, awed. "It's better than I heard it would be," said Arik, equally awed. "I don't believe any of my family has been here since the days of great-great-great- great grandfather Tok'pal. Where should we start our search for the Ruby?" Scales thought a moment. "Well, perhaps we should find Emperor Montezuma. I believe he ruled Aztec in this time period, didn't he?" Arik nodded. "Yes, he did." "Well, perhaps he knows where we could find the Ruby." Scales suggested. Arik shrugged. "Sounds reasonable. But how do we find him?" Scales looked over the panorama of the city. "Well, that I'm not sure of. Maybe we could ask for directions?" "That could work. Are we going to walk or warp in there?" asked Arik. Scales looked at the causeways. "Those things look pretty long, and they're guarded. How about we just warp right in?" "Sounds good to me. Hang on!" She grabbed the raptor's wrist. "Chaos Control!" They vanished in a flash of light.
They materialized in an empty courtyard they had seen from the side of the lake. After exiting the courtyard, they started making their way through the streets of Tenochtitlan, passing numerous humans and more tropical anthropomorphs, such as parrots and jaguars. "So, where should we ask for information?" asked Arik. "How about right here? I'm sure somebody knows where the residence of Montezuma is. Hey you!" she yelled to an eagle walking by. "Who, me?" asked the eagle. "Yeah, you! Would you happen to know where we could find Emperor Montezuma?" Scales asked. "Uh, I know he lives in his palace." Said the eagle, sounding unsure. "Well, where can we find his palace?" asked Scales. The eagle scratched his head. "I think it's at the corner of Tlaloc and Texcoco." They looked at the eagle blankly. "And where would that be?" asked Arik. The eagle frowned. "What are you guys, out of town or something?" "Yeah, we're from...uh...Teotihuacan." Said Scales, dredging her mind for any information from her history lessons and recalling the name of another ancient Aztec city. "Oh really!" said the eagle, surprised. "You came all the way down from Teotihuacan just to see the capital of the greatest empire in the entire history of the world? Well, seeing as how you're tourists I guess I'm obligated to tell you directions." "Thank you very much!" said Arik, relieved they wouldn't have to wander around this enormous city. The eagle pointed down the street. "Okay, it's simple. First you go down this road and take the fifth turn on the right, then head two blocks down till you reach Mendoza Lane. Turn left from there and keep heading north until you reach the big Codex wall, then bear left from there until you reach the statue of a warrior. From there, you just head northwest on Tula Avenue until you find the small ziggurat, then you just turn right on Toltec Boulevard and go straight, then turn left at Zapotec and go left, left, right, straight, straight, left, right, then straight and you're there! The palace is the small ziggurat with turquoise stones on the walls. You can't miss it!" Arik stared blankly. "Do you think you could make us a map?" Scales cuffed him on the shoulder. "No need, I remember all of that. Thank you, kind citizen!" She grabbed Arik by the shoulder and led him down the street. The eagle eyed the reptiles for a minute, then sighed and walked away. "Damn tourists, they keep on getting weirder."
Scales' excellent memory served well, allowing the two to work their way through Tenochtitlan to Montezuma's residence. The guards at the front gate were not chimpanzees. They were monkeys! Just kidding. Actually, they were a pair of nasty-looking jaguars with pointy spears. The jungle cats growled and locked their spears over the door. "What do you want?" snarled one of the jaguars. "Do you think we could just get in for a second? We kind of need to talk to Montezuma." Said Arik. "What for?" asked the other jaguar. "We have to talk to the Emperor about the whereabouts of a special jewel." Said Scales. The guards chuckled. "Right. Go back to wherever you came from, pedestrian." Scales and Arik walked away from the jaguars. "That went well." Arik grumbled. "Got any ideas on how we can get past those cats?" Scales asked him. Arik thought for a moment. "Wait here, let me try something." Arik walked back to the jaguars, who blocked the gate again. Scales couldn't quite hear what was going on, but she thought she saw Arik offering the felines some gold coins. The guards took the offered bribe, then grabbed him roughly and threw him away. The raptor landed with a thud next to Scales. He groaned and got up. "That went well." Said Scales sarcastically. "How about we just freeze time and run past them?" "Why didn't I think of that?" he complained. "On three then. One, two, three! Chaos Control!" Scales said. "Chronos Control!" Arik said at the exact same time. Everything turned a strangely retro tint and stopped moving. "Since we both froze time, it should take a little longer to wear off." "Yeah, but that extra time will be for nothing if we waste it jawing around out here! Come on!" They ran by the guards, opened the gate and went through. They closed it behind them and rushed down the walkway in front of them as the time freeze wore off and everyone returned to their normal business. Staying quiet so as not to elicit any attention, they walked towards Montezuma's ziggurat. The area around it was a nice, lush garden. A small moat surrounded the residence of the Aztec Emperor, which they walked across before starting up the stairs leading to the building at the top of the pyramid. There were maybe a few hundred steps in all, so it was a bit of a trek. After a climb, they fell to their knees at the top, panting. "Well, that was a bit of a hike, wasn't it?" Arik said when he had recovered somewhat. Scales nodded breathlessly. "Hey, I have an idea for the next time. Let's just warp if we need to get up or down this thing, okay?" "Okay." Arik agreed. He stood up. "Shall we go inside?" She nodded. "Let's see the Emperor." They walked into the door. The inside was a very nice chamber with walls lined with gold. The ceiling was a big, freaky mosaic of some unidentifiable thing. Two doorways at the back of the room led to stairs. Between the doors was a throne with a huge gold disc carved with incredibly ornate and somewhat ugly pictures behind it. Sitting on the throne was a large green anaconda with a red cape. "What! Who dares intrude uninvited in my chambers?" demanded the snake. "Well, we-" started Arik. "Silence! Did I say you could talk? On your knees, worms!" barked the snake. The reptiles quickly got on the ground. "Now, what are you doing here? Answer me, girl with that thing on your back!" Scales quickly answered, though she took offense at the serpent's description of her. "We've come in search of a magical jewel. We believe you might know of its whereabouts." The cobra eyed her. "Jewel? Explain, you with the sickle claws!" Arik scowled momentarily, but answered, "We are looking for a large gemstone that looks like a cut diamond. It is colored brightly and shows visions of what may be if you look into its depths." The cobra, whom we know by now to be Montezuma, considered. "I believe I have heard of such a jewel. Tell me, you with the thing on your back, why should I tell you where you could find this gem?" Hiding her excitement that Montezuma probably knew exactly what they were talking about, Scales answered, "Because there are some other people coming who want the jewel as well. We need to get it before they do, otherwise very bad things will happen." "Hmmm..." Montezuma obviously wasn't convinced. "Exactly what kind of 'bad things'?" "Well...would you believe that the very fabric of time and space could unravel, destroying the universe?" Scales said. Montezuma still wasn't really convinced. I mean, would you be? "I know of the jewel which you seek. I will tell you its location IF you do me a favor." The anaconda turned his head to look at the big disc behind him. "In only a day or two, the Ceremony of Fire is upon us, which I must lead, of course. I need a suitable headdress for that Ceremony. If I have no headdress, I cannot perform in the Ceremony, and the sun itself will be extinguished. My headdress maker ran off earlier this morning, leaving me with nothing. If you can get me a proper headdress, I will tell you the location of this mysterious gemstone." He gestured with his tail to the door. "You are dismissed. If you come back without a headdress, you will be sacrificed to Huitzilopochtli as my apology for not being able to do the Ceremony properly. Begone!" Scales and Arik quickly got out. "Well, that was interesting." Said Scales. "A bit of an inflated ego, huh?" Arik shrugged. "He can afford the ego, he's Emperor of an entire nation. Now, let's figure out where we can get a good headdress." "Okay, let me just warp us down to the street." She touched Arik's hand. "Chaos Control!" They vanished in a flash of light.
They reappeared on the street outside Montezuma's residence. Nobody noticed. "So, where do we begin?" asked Arik. Scales grinned. "I know how. Hey you!" she yelled at a human walking by. The woman turned around. "Who, me?" "Yeah, you! Would you happen to know where we could find a headdress fit for an Emperor performing in the upcoming Ceremony of Fire?" she asked. The woman thought a moment. "Yeah, I think there's a shop down on Market Street that makes really good headdresses." "Great! How do we get there?" Scales asked. "Oh it's easy! All you have to do is go down Tlaloc Road here, then take the second left, third right, seventh left and tenth right and you're there! I believe the shop is called the Headdress Emporium and has a picture of a big green Quetzal hanging above the door." The woman explained. "Thank you! Come on Arik, let's go!" Scales grabbed Arik and started leading him down the street. The woman looked after them for a moment. "Wonder if they're married. Ah well, at least that girl had sense enough to ask directions instead of blindly roaming throughout this massive city like most tourists, that's a good sign." She turned and walked away, continuing her business.
The duo quickly ended up at the marketplace, like the bazaar in Atlantis but much bigger. Arik had to constantly make sure Scales was in his sight, otherwise she would be rushing over to every tent, blanket and store in sight. After a few minutes, they found the appropriate shop. They couldn't read the name, but the quetzal on the front of the store told them it was the right place. Inside the store were several elaborate and pretty headdresses mounted on the walls. Sitting behind a counter was a plump armadillo. "Well, hello there!" said the armadillo. "What can I do for you?" "We're looking for a headdress." Said Arik. The armadillo grinned. "Well I can see that, otherwise why would you have come in here? So, what kind of headdress are you folks looking for?" Scales walked over to the counter. "Would you happen to have a headdress good enough for, say, the Ceremony of Fire?" The clerk frowned. "Ceremony of Fire? I would think so, why?" "Emperor Montezuma sent us to get him a headdress for the ceremony tomorrow night. He told us not to come back without a really suitable one." Explained Arik. The armadillo's eyes rose. "Montezuma himself wants one of my headdresses?! Hold on, let me see what I've got in stock!" The mammal ran through a door that was behind him, slamming it shut as he went through. They could hear screams and rants and various other noises from behind the door. The reptiles looked at each other a little anxiously. After a few minutes, and what sounded like a safe crashing, the armadillo burst through the door, startling the duo. "Aha! I've found it! My best headdress!" He said, holding it up. It consisted of a horseshoe-shaped metal piece that was fit onto one's head. There were four holes spaced on the piece of metal. Thirty long feathers were attached to the curved part of the metal piece, most of them green, but the few at the very top and middle colored blue. It was very beautiful, for a headdress. "Well, what do you think? Will you buy it?" "Why are there holes in the metal part?" asked Scales. The armadillo looked at the headpiece. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Where are the gold balls?! It's ruined without the gold balls!" screamed the clerk. "What gold balls?" Scales asked, worried. "The four holes are supposed to be settings for these little gold balls that make the headdress complete. Without them, it's just a funky hat! Oh, I'm ruined! The Emperor will never accept something like this!" wailed the mammal. "Calm down! Where can we find some of these gold balls? Maybe we can just get some new ones!" suggested Arik. The armadillo thought a moment. "I suppose you could find some at the jewelry store just down the street. Yeah, I think they have the right kind of balls! If you can get me four gold balls, I can finish the headdress!" "Great, let's go then!" said Scales, heading for the door. "Wait! Each ball must be exactly one-fourth of a handspan in diameter, or they won't fit!" said the armadillo urgently. "Don't worry, we'll get you your balls." Said Arik. There was a pause. "That sounded...wrong." Scales grabbed Arik's wrist. "Come on, let's get those gold pieces!" She pulled him out of the shop and back into the market. Once outside, Arik looked around at the massive marketplace. "So, where should we look?" "The armadillo said we could find some gold balls at the store down the street. Let's go there!" So, they went down the street, on the lookout for anything that might be what they were looking for. They quickly spotted a tent with some jewelry and entered. The merchant selling the jewelry was a large turtle with a fairly sharp beak. "Hello, how may I help you?" asked the merchant. "Would you happen to have gold balls?" asked Scales. The turtle blinked. "How dare you! I will not tolerate that kind of vulgarity in my jewelry shop! Out, out!" "Oh, she was talking about little balls made of gold for decorative purposes, not, well, you know." Said Arik quickly. The turtle looked confused for a moment, then got it. "Oh, you mean THOSE kinds of gold balls! Sure, I've got plenty. Do you want them set in something or just as they are?" "As they are, if you please." Said Scales. "What size, and how many?" asked the merchant. "Four please, each exactly one-fourth of a handspan." Said Arik. "Just a second." Said the turtle. He retracted his head and arms into his shell and started rummaging. "Now where are they? Oh, here they are." He popped back out, holding four small golden balls in one hand. "That'll be fifty melon seeds, or twenty five cacao beans, or fifteen ax heads, or ten jade beads, or five quetzal feathers." Arik and Scales exchanged glances. "Would you accept coinage?" Arik asked. "Let me see what you've got." The merchant said. Arik reached into his dimension pocket and took out a variety of different coins, many of which were gold. The turtle examined them, even bit one. "I've never seen any coins like these before. Sorry, can't take them. They could be counterfeit. I can't give you the goods if you can't give me anything worth trading." Scales got an idea. "Well, would you accept this?" She took out the gorgeous necklace Arik had bought her in Atlantis. The turtle's eyes bulged. "What are you doing with something like that?! Put it away, put it away!" Scales quickly obeyed, surprised. "I can't take something like that, a necklace that beautiful only belongs on the neck of an equally beautiful woman like yourself!" Scales blushed. Arik looked jealous for a moment, but quickly hid it. "Besides, its value far outshines everything else in my humble shop. If you gave it to me, I would be unable to give you anything equal in value, for it is far greater than everything in this tent put together. So, I guess I can't give you the balls. Sorry." Scales looked disappointed. "Ah man!" Arik suddenly got an idea. "Actually, I believe I do have something that is good enough to get me and my companion those gold balls." "Oh?" asked the merchant. "Yes. Chronos Control!" Time suddenly froze. Scales gaped as Arik grabbed the four balls from the turtle's hand and started running for the exit. "Arik, what are you doing?!" "Securing us the headdress, what does it look like?!" he yelled back at her. She shook her head and ran after him, catching up to him near the Emporium as the time freeze wore off. She frowned at him for a moment. "I can't believe you stole those!" she whispered fiercely, so nobody would hear. "Hey, I just did what I had to-" Arik started to argue. "I mean, I was right about to do that with Chaos Control! I'm surprised you did that, I never knew you had it in you!" said Scales. Arik blinked. "I'll take that as a compliment. Come on, let's get that headdress." They went into the store. Arik handed the armadillo the balls. "Here you go." The clerk looked excited. "Yes! Now I can complete the headdress!" He inserted a gold ball into each hole, making sure they were in tightly. He was about to hand it to Arik when he paused. "Oh, I almost forgot. I'll need a little payment." Arik and Scales glanced at each other. "It's your turn." He said. She nodded. "Right. Chaos Control!" A millisecond later, the armadillo was greatly confused to find that the two customers were gone, as was the headdress he had been holding.
The reptiles couldn't help laughing after they had warped back to Montezuma's place. "You know, that was actually kind of fun! I mean, I don't want to rob anything on a regular basis, but it was still kind of fun, you know?" said Scales. Arik nodded. "I understand perfectly. Now come on, let's give this thing to Montezuma!" "Well, I'm not climbing all those steps again. So grab on!" Arik quickly took her hand. "Chaos Control!" They warped to the top of the ziggurat and went inside. Montezuma hissed as they entered. "On the ground!" They quickly got down. "Did you bring me my headdress?" he asked sinisterly. Arik took out the headpiece. "Yes, O Great Emperor!" "Excellent! Bring it here, bring it here!" Arik got up and walked over to the serpent, putting the headdress on the royal anaconda. "Get back over there! You with the thing on your back, how do I look?" To tell the truth, Montezuma looked like a freak wearing the headdress, but Scales couldn't say that. She quickly fished for compliments to say. "It makes you look like, uh, like, uh, like the sexiest reptile alive." She said quickly. Arik barely held back a laugh. Montezuma seemed pleased. "Well, I already was, but thank you for the appraisal. Now, I believe I promised to tell you two where to find the jewel. A long time ago, one of my ancestors was given a strange gemstone by a mysterious reptile. The gem showed frightening images of men in armor with weird sticks killing people, and razing Tenochtitlan. The gem was thought to be evil, and sealed within the cursed tomb deep inside of the Great Temple. If you wish to take the gem, you will have to venture into the ancient tomb and retrieve it from the golden monster forged to guard it, the Grolgoth." He tossed a small gold tablet at Arik. "This will let the priest at the Temple know I sent you and allow either of you to enter the tomb. Now, leave me be! I have to start preparing for the ceremony." Arik picked up the tablet and headed outside, followed by Scales. "So, shall we ask for directions again?" he asked. Scales shook her head. "Why bother? We can get there instantly. I can see it from here, so we can warp there." "Ah, I see." He took her hand. "Chaos Control!" She yelled. They vanished.
They reappeared at the very top of the gigantic pyramid. They could now easily see the two shrines in greater detail. The blue shrine had pretty mosaics that looked like falling rain on it. The red one had over a hundred actual skulls imbedded in the walls. Screams could be heard from the red shrine, and a river of blood oozed out of it and started falling down the very long stairs of the ziggurat. Scales and Arik shuddered. "I recommend not going in the one with the blood coming out of it." Said Scales. "I agree completely." Said Arik. So, they headed into the blue shrine. It was calm and peaceful, with strange, poorly drawn pictures covering the walls. There was an altar with an ugly face carved into it, and a man in robes who had to be the priest. He frowned as they came in. "What are you ruffians doing here?" he asked rudely. "We're looking for the cursed tomb." Said Scales. "Cursed tomb? There is no such thing as the cursed tomb-" Arik held up the tablet Montezuma had given him. "-Which is in fact deep inside of this very temple. Follow me." Said the priest, obviously cowed by Arik's presentation of the tablet. He walked over to the wall and poked the eyes of two drawings. There was a rumbling, and a part of the wall slid apart, revealing a secret passage. "This way, please." The priest entered the passageway. It was very dark inside. The man produced a torch and struck it against the wall, lighting it. The flickering torchlight illuminated the small passage, revealing a spiral staircase. The priest silently led the way down the stairs, followed by the adventuring reptiles. After maybe twenty minutes of walking down the stairs, quieted by the priest whenever either of them tried to start a conversation, they finally reached the bottom. "Whoa." Scales whispered. The room they were now in was lit by some sort of magical glow. It was a long rectangular chamber, with pillars lining the walls. Between the pillars were mummies of dead Aztecs, wrapped in reed mats with ceremonial burial masks over their decayed faces. An ancient altar encrusted with stained blood sat before a sealed door. The priest lit some sconces with his torch, lighting up the room. "This is the entrance to the cursed tomb, a domain of Mictlantecuhtli, the god of death."
In the marketplace, a white portal formed in front of the Headdress Emporium, frightening the shoppers. Sauron and a legion of his soldiers jumped out of the portal. As the people ran screaming, many Massopondylus and a few raptors chased after them hungrily. The remaining troops looked to Sauron for orders. The raptor sniffed the air. "Mmm, I think I like the scent of this place. Nice, clean, with plenty of plants and meat to go." He noticed the giant ziggurat. "I would say that's the place to start. Scarface, Blacktail, Redeye, Hookclaw, and Bloodwrath, you're with me. The rest of you start ravaging this city. I want five of you to go back and get some Greatwings so we can blast this city from the sky." The troops saluted and went to their respective tasks. The tyrant lizard started running for the pyramid, followed by his men. Smoke started rising to the sky and screams could be heard everywhere as the dinosaurs began their assault.
How was that for a chapter? Surprised for my choice of a time period? Good! I wanted to go somewhere unexpected for a change, I don't recall many time travel stories involving ancient Mexico. Well, here's our interview! Scales: Hi. Me: I have school tomorrow and it's getting late, so let's make this quick. Did you like Tenochtitlan? Scales: Yeah, I think it's kind of nice. Me: Good! What about Montezuma? Scales: He's a big jerk. Me: That's nice. Did you enjoy your dream? Scales: Yes actually, too bad that stupid Archaeopteryx ruined everything. Me: You realize that next chapter, Arik will be getting most of the action. Scales: Yeah, but he deserves a turn of his own. Me: Well, I'm glad you're okay with that. Anyway, Ultrafan X gave me two tickets to Reno! Not sure why. Scales: Maybe to recover from whatever's making you act weird lately? Me: Nonsense! HobbesKnux has another Dimensional Gift Basket for you. This one contains Universe Meat in the shape of Snively, the Demonic Four, and Satan. It also contains invincible dolls in the shapes of the aforementioned villains and other dolls in the shape of all your friends! Scales: That's sweet. Give it here. Me: Okay. (Hands it over.) Ultrafan X also went against my will and placed the last Chronos Ruby on Angel island in Shadow the Hedgehog 3. Fortunately, I went there using author powers and put it back where it belongs. To make up for it, he sent you this book entitled "How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Scales: Give it to me! Me: Sorry, can't. It's a bomb. He probably sent it to keep you from beating him up again every time he mocks you and Arik's relationships in his reviews. Scales: Remind me to go Super on him next time he tries to mess with me. Me: My pleasure. Anyway, Maverick has finally made a comeback. He still hasn't perfected his elixir for Arik, but he's still trying. Scales: I hope he gets it working. Me: Not me! (Scales glares at him.) I mean, me too! Oh, Maverick wanted to know if Arik helped Napoleon with his campaigns and whether or not he has any booty from it. Scales: No, Arik's no good at campaign strategies and doesn't work well with armies. Besides, he would never accept loot. He's not that kind of raptor. Me: Okay. Maverick also requested we have the last Ruby be in some previous adventure of Shadow's, again. I don't think I need to answer that. Scales: I'm sorry everyone, but the Ruby is not anywhere near the present. To tell the truth, it's probably going to be in Egypt. Me: (Rolls eyes.) Great way to spoil the plot, Scales. Scales: Whoops, sorry. Me: Anyway, Maverick edited you into Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 and Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters. Scales: Why? Me: I dunno. Well, that's all the time we have for today, and I hope Arik's dream didn't freak you out! Scales: Actually, I kind of wish dream Me could have gotten a little more intimate with that hunk of prehistoric manliness. (Dreamy look in her eyes.) Me: Uh, right. Anyway, review or the hostage gets it! Scales: What hostage? Me: No hostage!