I wanted to get through this chapter without a side note; but I find I
can't resist. I apologize to Tsukasa fans. He does not appear in this
chapter. Or in the next. I apologize to Rui fans; he only gets a minor
appearance in each. It's just not very interesting to write about these
guys, 'cause there ain't much new to say. It's far more fun to do
tsukushi's interactions with Soujiro and Akira since the manga doesn't
dwell much on them. . . which gives me more degrees of freedom to be
silly. Right, so you'll have to be patient and pretend this isn't a
Tsukushi/rui/tsukasa fic for a while. that is all
"And this will be your room," Akira waved Tsukushi towards an open door. "I found some old pajamas belonging to my mother, I think they should fit you ok." He grimaced a bit at the thought of his mother wearing clothes that were so obviously meant for someone his own age. "There's a private bath through there, and if you need anything, my room is right around the corner." He earnestly pointed it out. Though he rarely invited outsiders into his home, Akira really was a perfect host when he wanted to be.
Soujiro snickered, and couldn't help throwing in his own commentary, "And My room is right next door to yours. I'd be happy to help you with any problems you might have in the middle of the night." He leered suggestively.
Tsukushi grimaced, but managed to muster up a returning grin, as she knew he was just trying to cheer her up, "Do we have an adjoining door?" she teased, "That way I won't have to wake anyone else when I come knocking."
Soujiro put on an appropriately sad face at the fact that there was no connecting door. Rui and Akira just rolled their eyes as they listened to this exchange. They realized something had changed between Soujiro and Tsukushi, but were not quite sure what that might be.
Tsukushi laughed weakly, "Right then, I guess I'm on my own. I'll see you all in the morning!" (Thank god the door locks), she thought to herself. (I really just want to be left alone for a while)
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Rui asked softly, as Tsukushi went to shut the door on the three boys clustered out in the hall. He looked really worried, but Tsukushi just shook her head;
"I'll be fine. Really! Don't worry about me!" With these words she shut the door and headed for the bath. Catching sight of herself in the huge bathroom mirror, she grimaced, "Gah! Do I really look that bad? I really did fall apart out there!" Furious at herself for her weakness, she filled the tub with scalding water and sank into its relaxing depths, letting the cleansing pain of the hot water ease the ache in her heart. Eventually she roused herself to scrub off the remnants of her makeup and wash her hair, before sinking back in for a final soak. After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably more like half an hour, she dragged herself out of the cooling water and toweled herself dry. The towels were some of the fluffiest she had ever seen, and she shook her head in disbelief as she noted the Mimasaka family crest embroidered into the corner of each one. "Rich people!" Tsukushi snorted as she changed into the pajamas provided. They really did fit suprising well, she reflected, as she went to explore her room.
The bed was simply huge, and so soft she thought she might drown in its luxurious depths. Having just come from her bath, Tsukushi no longer felt especially tired, what with the events of the night still dancing around her brain and all. So instead of trying to sleep, she instead wandered over to the huge picture window that dominated one wall of the room and stared out at the dark night. A well-cushioned window seat seemed to call to her, so she curled up with her head on her knees and gazed out at the cold rain falling on the gardens outside. Tsukushi tried to let the rain wash away her thoughts as well, but instead the steady dripping on the gravelled paths seemed to increase her melancholy, and she could no longer sit still, but instead began to pace about the room restlessly.
"Perhaps some tea will help to calm me?" she speculated, "Now if only I knew where a kitchen might be? . . . I suppose there's only one way to find out." Thus resolved, Tsukushi quietly slipped out of her bedroom and slunk down the long, hall peering furtively into each open door as she passed by.
Akira had not yet fallen asleep either, and despite Makino's attempts to be quiet, he recognized every creak and whisper in the old house, and knew the signs of prowling feet. He let her get a bit further down the passage, before he too stealthily opened his door and crept up behind her.
"Didn't I tell you to come find me if you needed anything?" Akira admonished as he placed his hand on Tsukushi's shoulder.
"Ai!" Tsukushi yelped, as she leapt about a foot in the air. She quickly whirled around, and seeing it as just Akira, she lowered her tone to an equally quiet whisper, "you startled me! I was just looking for a kitchen - I thought some tea might put me to sleep." She stammered, "I didn't want to wake anyone."
"Oh, I wasn't asleep yet. Here, let me show you the way. You'll never find it on your own." Akira propelled Tsukushi forward; the gentle pressure of his hand on her back brooking no denial.
Silently they made their way through the grand passages of the house to a kitchen that looked strangely homey in the midst of such luxury.
"This isn't the real kitchen," Akira apologized as he turned on the lights, "This is just for the family for times like this, when we need something to eat, and don't want to bother the servants to go make something. There's a much bigger kitchen where all the real food is made elsewhere in the house."
Tsukushi sat wonderingly down at a small kitchen table, and looked around her. Indeed this kitchen almost seemed like what one might find in a normal house: stove, refrigerator, small counter space, sink and table. It looked comfortable and well used. While she was occupied with looking around her, Akira put the kettle on and rummaged around in a cabinet for some teabags.
Akira finally glanced over at Tsukushi, who was now gazing uncomfortably at her hands curling and uncurling on the table before her. "damnit, I just wanted to be alone," she silently protested.
"So why don't you tell me about it?" Akira invited, "Everyone says I'm the only one of the F4 with any common sense. If anyone can help with your problems, it's me. And even if I don't have any useful advice, It'll be good for you to get things off your chest."
Tsukushi looked at him, looked away again, and continued her hand wringing.
Akira let her sit in silence for a few moments more, while he poured the kettle and brought their cups to the table. "Here, put your hands around this instead of trying to use them to tear each other apart." He offered her a mug. "Look, it's obvious that you can't sleep. And the only reason for you to be so upset is on Tsukasa's account. Don't you think its time that you told someone what's going on? What did he say to you?"
When Tsukushi still refused to answer, he pursued, "Or is it about Rui?"
At this, Tsukushi looked up in surprise, "you know about that?"
Akira nodded, "It's pretty obvious he's in love with you. Is that the problem?"
"No, no. . ." Tsukushi paused; she didn't quite know how to explain the Rui situation. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to. But now that she'd started talking, she found she couldn't stop. Akira definitely had a talent for making people open up. Of course, his self-effacing stories all evening had been designed to make him seem open, trustworthy, and approachable. Tsukushi may not have consciously realized that's what they were doing, but nevertheless they'd had their intended effect . . . "It's about Doumyouji. . . Isn't it always?" She laughed bitterly and proceeded to explain the situation, in between sips of tea.
When at last she paused for breath, Akira nodded, "that's about what I expected," he agreed. (Though he had been extremely surprised when she reached the part about kissing Soujiro, he'd been careful not to let his emotion show). The question now in his mind was what to do about his bet with Soujiro. Now that he knew why Soujiro had conceded, he too could gracefully give in, no pride lost. Or he could continue in his present course of slow seduction through a winning of her trust - though this task would be hindered by Rui's watchful presence. It certainly was a dilemma. Meanwhile, he could still give advice.
"I think you need to talk to Tsukasa, just the two of you-or if you prefer, bring some disinterested parties, say Shigeru and I to help keep your dialogue honest. You can't just keep flaring up at each other. It's hard, I know, to say what you mean, but I know you can do it." Akira smiled encouragingly as he reached out his hand to cover Tsukushi's still writhing ones. "Let me help you. It's what we're here for,"
Tsukushi looked up at him, her eyes flashing, "you think I don't want to reason with him? Have you tried reasoning with that man? He's just not rational!" she flared up, "Sometimes I think the whole thing is useless- doomed from the start by our disparate backgrounds and our inability to stop fighting." She looked back down, and sighed, "And what do I do about Rui? I need him, I adore him, I use him endlessly, but do I love him? Not anymore. How is that right? Every time he smiles at me, I want to cry-For I know I can't give him what he wants the most."
Akira slid his chair closer and took both her hands in one of his, as he lifted her chin till their eyes met. "Rui can take care of himself," he stated earnestly, "He knows what he's doing. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty for being yourself and following your true heart." (I think,) he amended to himself, (It's not like any of us really know what goes on in Rui's mind; but it's a good guess, and it sounds nice).
Akira had now positioned himself so that Tsukushi had no choice but to look at his serious eyes, to feel his warm hands exuding calm comfort into her disturbed and frenetic mind. "Caught like a rabbit in the headlights" He reflected silently, "When life turns crazy I can help you forget. And when your little heart is eased, I move on, and you move back-how is that wrong?" Akira, unlike Soujiro, had no painful history or fractured family life; he simply liked women, liked the act of seduction, liked leaving them happier, a bit more content with their lives than they were when they came to him. He had few isolated qualms about trying to seduce Tsukushi other than her age. It was only in the context of her actual relationships that he began to doubt the wisdom of his wager. It would be hard, he reflected, if he did indeed succeed, to keep it a secret from Rui or Tsukasa. Especially since Soujiro had to know about his success for the bet to be fulfilled-and everyone knew what a gossip Soujiro could be.
Tsukushi knew none of this inner monologue, and she was too exhausted to question why he was being so nice, so friendly tonight. So she merely sighed again, "But how do I forget? It's like these thoughts never go away! I can't find a moment's peace!"
Akira shrugged imperceptibly, "the hell with it," he thought, "The F4's so fractured anyway these days, a little more confusion can't hurt much more. So much for common sense. . . " He eased his hands off of Tsukushi's, "If you're willing, I know a little something that might help." He pitched his voice as non-threateningly as possible. Tsukushi twitched, as if sensing the change in his mood, and asked guardedly,
"You're not going to suggest anything perverted, are you? I can still kick your ass from here to tomorrow, you know."
"No no, of course not! Wouldn't dream of it! I just thought a little shoulder massage might help to ease your tensions," he smiled placatingly, "here, let me demonstrate." Akira smoothly stood up and moved behind Tsukushi; her eyes followed his movement skeptically, but he firmly turned her head forward again and set to work.
After a few minutes of feeling Akira's strong hands kneading out her knots, Tsukushi let out a long sigh.
"See now, isn't that better?" As if addressing a small child, Akira soothed Tsukushi's fears, "I can do a better job if we sit somewhere more comfortable." he suggested after a few more minutes. The power of a good backrub is such that Tsukushi's brain was turning to mush, and she docilely allowed herself to be led from the room. Akira led the girl back to his room and seated her on the edge of his bed. Kneeling behind her, he continued his methodical attention to her back. "Damn this girl has a lot of knots!" he thought to himself, "Does she never relax? Or it some function of being poor that your muscles all seize up?" Again, he let no sign of his inner speculations show as he traced slow circles about Tsukushi's shoulderblades with his fingernails. As Tsukushi was not protesting his attentions, Akira leaned in closer, so that the tips of his hair just brushed her shoulders and his warm breath tickled the back of her neck, in a sensual reminder of the presence behind her.
Tsukushi was in fact reminded, but not quite the way Akira had intended. For Akira had, like Soujiro, underestimated the perverse twists of Tsukushi's personality, and had forgotten momentarily that she, unlike most of his conquests was not by nature inclined to succumb to seduction, no matter how pleasant a seduction it might be.
As she felt Akira lean in closer, Tsukushi was startled out of the hazy daze of indolent sensation she'd been wallowing in. "What am I doing??!" she thought frantically, as she snapped awake, "I can't fall asleep here!"
Akira felt her tensing up again, and backed off a bit, but it was too late.
"I think I should go back to my own room now," Tsukushi murmured, "Thank you for listening to my troubles, but I should let you get to sleep."
"It's OK, you don't have to leave," Akira demurred, "you could sleep here with me. I wouldn't hurt you."
Tsukushi twisted around to stare at the red-headed boy. "um.. that's ok thanks, but I really have to go!" she nervously babbled, as she started to stand up.
"Are you sure?" Akira inquired regretfully, "You don't have to be scared of me." Nevertheless, he knew it was time to give in gracefully, for now. . . Smoothly, he rose to his feet and helped Tsukushi to stand. Clasping her hands as she turned to leave, he murmured, "If you still can't sleep later, feel free to come back, and I'll see what I can do."
"I'll keep that mind," Tsukushi recovered enough now that she was standing in the hall to retort a bit acerbically. "Thank you again for listening to me, and . . . helping with my insomnia!" With this last thank you, she hurried off down the corridor to her room..
Akira gazed after her retreating figure. "So close, and yet so far," he sighed, "and I didn't even get a kiss! Still, I'll probably get another chance to try again later." As Tsukushi vanished around the corner, he slid his door shut, and turned in to sleep.
To be continued..
"And this will be your room," Akira waved Tsukushi towards an open door. "I found some old pajamas belonging to my mother, I think they should fit you ok." He grimaced a bit at the thought of his mother wearing clothes that were so obviously meant for someone his own age. "There's a private bath through there, and if you need anything, my room is right around the corner." He earnestly pointed it out. Though he rarely invited outsiders into his home, Akira really was a perfect host when he wanted to be.
Soujiro snickered, and couldn't help throwing in his own commentary, "And My room is right next door to yours. I'd be happy to help you with any problems you might have in the middle of the night." He leered suggestively.
Tsukushi grimaced, but managed to muster up a returning grin, as she knew he was just trying to cheer her up, "Do we have an adjoining door?" she teased, "That way I won't have to wake anyone else when I come knocking."
Soujiro put on an appropriately sad face at the fact that there was no connecting door. Rui and Akira just rolled their eyes as they listened to this exchange. They realized something had changed between Soujiro and Tsukushi, but were not quite sure what that might be.
Tsukushi laughed weakly, "Right then, I guess I'm on my own. I'll see you all in the morning!" (Thank god the door locks), she thought to herself. (I really just want to be left alone for a while)
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Rui asked softly, as Tsukushi went to shut the door on the three boys clustered out in the hall. He looked really worried, but Tsukushi just shook her head;
"I'll be fine. Really! Don't worry about me!" With these words she shut the door and headed for the bath. Catching sight of herself in the huge bathroom mirror, she grimaced, "Gah! Do I really look that bad? I really did fall apart out there!" Furious at herself for her weakness, she filled the tub with scalding water and sank into its relaxing depths, letting the cleansing pain of the hot water ease the ache in her heart. Eventually she roused herself to scrub off the remnants of her makeup and wash her hair, before sinking back in for a final soak. After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably more like half an hour, she dragged herself out of the cooling water and toweled herself dry. The towels were some of the fluffiest she had ever seen, and she shook her head in disbelief as she noted the Mimasaka family crest embroidered into the corner of each one. "Rich people!" Tsukushi snorted as she changed into the pajamas provided. They really did fit suprising well, she reflected, as she went to explore her room.
The bed was simply huge, and so soft she thought she might drown in its luxurious depths. Having just come from her bath, Tsukushi no longer felt especially tired, what with the events of the night still dancing around her brain and all. So instead of trying to sleep, she instead wandered over to the huge picture window that dominated one wall of the room and stared out at the dark night. A well-cushioned window seat seemed to call to her, so she curled up with her head on her knees and gazed out at the cold rain falling on the gardens outside. Tsukushi tried to let the rain wash away her thoughts as well, but instead the steady dripping on the gravelled paths seemed to increase her melancholy, and she could no longer sit still, but instead began to pace about the room restlessly.
"Perhaps some tea will help to calm me?" she speculated, "Now if only I knew where a kitchen might be? . . . I suppose there's only one way to find out." Thus resolved, Tsukushi quietly slipped out of her bedroom and slunk down the long, hall peering furtively into each open door as she passed by.
Akira had not yet fallen asleep either, and despite Makino's attempts to be quiet, he recognized every creak and whisper in the old house, and knew the signs of prowling feet. He let her get a bit further down the passage, before he too stealthily opened his door and crept up behind her.
"Didn't I tell you to come find me if you needed anything?" Akira admonished as he placed his hand on Tsukushi's shoulder.
"Ai!" Tsukushi yelped, as she leapt about a foot in the air. She quickly whirled around, and seeing it as just Akira, she lowered her tone to an equally quiet whisper, "you startled me! I was just looking for a kitchen - I thought some tea might put me to sleep." She stammered, "I didn't want to wake anyone."
"Oh, I wasn't asleep yet. Here, let me show you the way. You'll never find it on your own." Akira propelled Tsukushi forward; the gentle pressure of his hand on her back brooking no denial.
Silently they made their way through the grand passages of the house to a kitchen that looked strangely homey in the midst of such luxury.
"This isn't the real kitchen," Akira apologized as he turned on the lights, "This is just for the family for times like this, when we need something to eat, and don't want to bother the servants to go make something. There's a much bigger kitchen where all the real food is made elsewhere in the house."
Tsukushi sat wonderingly down at a small kitchen table, and looked around her. Indeed this kitchen almost seemed like what one might find in a normal house: stove, refrigerator, small counter space, sink and table. It looked comfortable and well used. While she was occupied with looking around her, Akira put the kettle on and rummaged around in a cabinet for some teabags.
Akira finally glanced over at Tsukushi, who was now gazing uncomfortably at her hands curling and uncurling on the table before her. "damnit, I just wanted to be alone," she silently protested.
"So why don't you tell me about it?" Akira invited, "Everyone says I'm the only one of the F4 with any common sense. If anyone can help with your problems, it's me. And even if I don't have any useful advice, It'll be good for you to get things off your chest."
Tsukushi looked at him, looked away again, and continued her hand wringing.
Akira let her sit in silence for a few moments more, while he poured the kettle and brought their cups to the table. "Here, put your hands around this instead of trying to use them to tear each other apart." He offered her a mug. "Look, it's obvious that you can't sleep. And the only reason for you to be so upset is on Tsukasa's account. Don't you think its time that you told someone what's going on? What did he say to you?"
When Tsukushi still refused to answer, he pursued, "Or is it about Rui?"
At this, Tsukushi looked up in surprise, "you know about that?"
Akira nodded, "It's pretty obvious he's in love with you. Is that the problem?"
"No, no. . ." Tsukushi paused; she didn't quite know how to explain the Rui situation. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to. But now that she'd started talking, she found she couldn't stop. Akira definitely had a talent for making people open up. Of course, his self-effacing stories all evening had been designed to make him seem open, trustworthy, and approachable. Tsukushi may not have consciously realized that's what they were doing, but nevertheless they'd had their intended effect . . . "It's about Doumyouji. . . Isn't it always?" She laughed bitterly and proceeded to explain the situation, in between sips of tea.
When at last she paused for breath, Akira nodded, "that's about what I expected," he agreed. (Though he had been extremely surprised when she reached the part about kissing Soujiro, he'd been careful not to let his emotion show). The question now in his mind was what to do about his bet with Soujiro. Now that he knew why Soujiro had conceded, he too could gracefully give in, no pride lost. Or he could continue in his present course of slow seduction through a winning of her trust - though this task would be hindered by Rui's watchful presence. It certainly was a dilemma. Meanwhile, he could still give advice.
"I think you need to talk to Tsukasa, just the two of you-or if you prefer, bring some disinterested parties, say Shigeru and I to help keep your dialogue honest. You can't just keep flaring up at each other. It's hard, I know, to say what you mean, but I know you can do it." Akira smiled encouragingly as he reached out his hand to cover Tsukushi's still writhing ones. "Let me help you. It's what we're here for,"
Tsukushi looked up at him, her eyes flashing, "you think I don't want to reason with him? Have you tried reasoning with that man? He's just not rational!" she flared up, "Sometimes I think the whole thing is useless- doomed from the start by our disparate backgrounds and our inability to stop fighting." She looked back down, and sighed, "And what do I do about Rui? I need him, I adore him, I use him endlessly, but do I love him? Not anymore. How is that right? Every time he smiles at me, I want to cry-For I know I can't give him what he wants the most."
Akira slid his chair closer and took both her hands in one of his, as he lifted her chin till their eyes met. "Rui can take care of himself," he stated earnestly, "He knows what he's doing. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty for being yourself and following your true heart." (I think,) he amended to himself, (It's not like any of us really know what goes on in Rui's mind; but it's a good guess, and it sounds nice).
Akira had now positioned himself so that Tsukushi had no choice but to look at his serious eyes, to feel his warm hands exuding calm comfort into her disturbed and frenetic mind. "Caught like a rabbit in the headlights" He reflected silently, "When life turns crazy I can help you forget. And when your little heart is eased, I move on, and you move back-how is that wrong?" Akira, unlike Soujiro, had no painful history or fractured family life; he simply liked women, liked the act of seduction, liked leaving them happier, a bit more content with their lives than they were when they came to him. He had few isolated qualms about trying to seduce Tsukushi other than her age. It was only in the context of her actual relationships that he began to doubt the wisdom of his wager. It would be hard, he reflected, if he did indeed succeed, to keep it a secret from Rui or Tsukasa. Especially since Soujiro had to know about his success for the bet to be fulfilled-and everyone knew what a gossip Soujiro could be.
Tsukushi knew none of this inner monologue, and she was too exhausted to question why he was being so nice, so friendly tonight. So she merely sighed again, "But how do I forget? It's like these thoughts never go away! I can't find a moment's peace!"
Akira shrugged imperceptibly, "the hell with it," he thought, "The F4's so fractured anyway these days, a little more confusion can't hurt much more. So much for common sense. . . " He eased his hands off of Tsukushi's, "If you're willing, I know a little something that might help." He pitched his voice as non-threateningly as possible. Tsukushi twitched, as if sensing the change in his mood, and asked guardedly,
"You're not going to suggest anything perverted, are you? I can still kick your ass from here to tomorrow, you know."
"No no, of course not! Wouldn't dream of it! I just thought a little shoulder massage might help to ease your tensions," he smiled placatingly, "here, let me demonstrate." Akira smoothly stood up and moved behind Tsukushi; her eyes followed his movement skeptically, but he firmly turned her head forward again and set to work.
After a few minutes of feeling Akira's strong hands kneading out her knots, Tsukushi let out a long sigh.
"See now, isn't that better?" As if addressing a small child, Akira soothed Tsukushi's fears, "I can do a better job if we sit somewhere more comfortable." he suggested after a few more minutes. The power of a good backrub is such that Tsukushi's brain was turning to mush, and she docilely allowed herself to be led from the room. Akira led the girl back to his room and seated her on the edge of his bed. Kneeling behind her, he continued his methodical attention to her back. "Damn this girl has a lot of knots!" he thought to himself, "Does she never relax? Or it some function of being poor that your muscles all seize up?" Again, he let no sign of his inner speculations show as he traced slow circles about Tsukushi's shoulderblades with his fingernails. As Tsukushi was not protesting his attentions, Akira leaned in closer, so that the tips of his hair just brushed her shoulders and his warm breath tickled the back of her neck, in a sensual reminder of the presence behind her.
Tsukushi was in fact reminded, but not quite the way Akira had intended. For Akira had, like Soujiro, underestimated the perverse twists of Tsukushi's personality, and had forgotten momentarily that she, unlike most of his conquests was not by nature inclined to succumb to seduction, no matter how pleasant a seduction it might be.
As she felt Akira lean in closer, Tsukushi was startled out of the hazy daze of indolent sensation she'd been wallowing in. "What am I doing??!" she thought frantically, as she snapped awake, "I can't fall asleep here!"
Akira felt her tensing up again, and backed off a bit, but it was too late.
"I think I should go back to my own room now," Tsukushi murmured, "Thank you for listening to my troubles, but I should let you get to sleep."
"It's OK, you don't have to leave," Akira demurred, "you could sleep here with me. I wouldn't hurt you."
Tsukushi twisted around to stare at the red-headed boy. "um.. that's ok thanks, but I really have to go!" she nervously babbled, as she started to stand up.
"Are you sure?" Akira inquired regretfully, "You don't have to be scared of me." Nevertheless, he knew it was time to give in gracefully, for now. . . Smoothly, he rose to his feet and helped Tsukushi to stand. Clasping her hands as she turned to leave, he murmured, "If you still can't sleep later, feel free to come back, and I'll see what I can do."
"I'll keep that mind," Tsukushi recovered enough now that she was standing in the hall to retort a bit acerbically. "Thank you again for listening to me, and . . . helping with my insomnia!" With this last thank you, she hurried off down the corridor to her room..
Akira gazed after her retreating figure. "So close, and yet so far," he sighed, "and I didn't even get a kiss! Still, I'll probably get another chance to try again later." As Tsukushi vanished around the corner, he slid his door shut, and turned in to sleep.
To be continued..