Sometime that same afternoon:
Rui sprawled across his couch and stared disconsolately at the television. Tsukushi had pushed him away last night. Today, she hadn't needed him at all. He felt used, discarded, and very alone right now. Still, he took comfort in the fact that Tsukasa was probably more miserable than he was at this moment.
Rui did not know how to win Tsukushi's love; how could he be different than what he had been? If only he could make her happy? He didn't know how to manage that except by reconciling her with Tsukasa-for somewhere along the line, her happiness had become dependent upon that fool. . . . Rui sighed. Obsessed as he had been with Shizuka, he'd missed his chance with Tsukushi before he'd even known it. But it was never too late. Or so he told himself. . . .
The pain you inflict upon yourself is more bearable than that others give to you. Rui's heartache was entirely of his own doing, and he had borne it for so long, that it had become merely a dull ache in his heart, that only at times like these erupted into an agonized longing. Luckily, the pain was brief, and easily pushed aside. Still it must be faced, first. . . .
Damn Tsukasa for treating Tsukushi the way he did! It was obvious to all concerned that those two belonged together, but how could Rui sit idly by while they hurt each other? He couldn't. Anything he could do to make Tsukushi happy, he would. No matter what it took. If that meant he had to work to get her back together with Tsukasa as he had done so many times before-he would. If it meant that he could only hold Tsukushi when she was sad - then he would. Though Tsukasa had battered his way into Tsukushi's heart through violent extremes, perhaps Rui, in his understated way, could ease himself in; becoming indispensable to her happiness by his eternal sympathy and myriad kindnesses. And eventually, perhaps Tsukushi would come to belong with him. . . .
There was really only one way to find out. As long as Tsukasa and Tsukushi were estranged, Rui had a role to fulfill-one he would go to gladly-his place as Tsukushi's conscience and comforter. And if, by chance, the two lovers made up, he'd be their guardian angel. One they could not live without. Rui smiled at the thought that he, who had once cared for no one, could have become such a creature, as he was now-sacrificing his own happiness for those he loved.
However distant the hope was, it remained; Tsukushi could fall in love with him again if he stood by her. And if not, well he'd make sure she was happy anyway. That should be enough for anyone.
Rui sighed in exasperation, "Circles! All my thoughts lead 'round and 'round each other. A tangled knot of loops and spirals. Tsukushi and Tsukasa, Tsukushi and Rui! All the possibilities in the world await us. Only time would tell. So what use the thought?"
This short outburst fulfilling his need to vent, Rui relaxed at last, a slow smile spreading across his face. One never knew what eventualities might arise, especially around such volatile people as Tsukushi and Tsukasa. . . .
He'd just have to wait and see what the future would bring.
Rui sprawled across his couch and stared disconsolately at the television. Tsukushi had pushed him away last night. Today, she hadn't needed him at all. He felt used, discarded, and very alone right now. Still, he took comfort in the fact that Tsukasa was probably more miserable than he was at this moment.
Rui did not know how to win Tsukushi's love; how could he be different than what he had been? If only he could make her happy? He didn't know how to manage that except by reconciling her with Tsukasa-for somewhere along the line, her happiness had become dependent upon that fool. . . . Rui sighed. Obsessed as he had been with Shizuka, he'd missed his chance with Tsukushi before he'd even known it. But it was never too late. Or so he told himself. . . .
The pain you inflict upon yourself is more bearable than that others give to you. Rui's heartache was entirely of his own doing, and he had borne it for so long, that it had become merely a dull ache in his heart, that only at times like these erupted into an agonized longing. Luckily, the pain was brief, and easily pushed aside. Still it must be faced, first. . . .
Damn Tsukasa for treating Tsukushi the way he did! It was obvious to all concerned that those two belonged together, but how could Rui sit idly by while they hurt each other? He couldn't. Anything he could do to make Tsukushi happy, he would. No matter what it took. If that meant he had to work to get her back together with Tsukasa as he had done so many times before-he would. If it meant that he could only hold Tsukushi when she was sad - then he would. Though Tsukasa had battered his way into Tsukushi's heart through violent extremes, perhaps Rui, in his understated way, could ease himself in; becoming indispensable to her happiness by his eternal sympathy and myriad kindnesses. And eventually, perhaps Tsukushi would come to belong with him. . . .
There was really only one way to find out. As long as Tsukasa and Tsukushi were estranged, Rui had a role to fulfill-one he would go to gladly-his place as Tsukushi's conscience and comforter. And if, by chance, the two lovers made up, he'd be their guardian angel. One they could not live without. Rui smiled at the thought that he, who had once cared for no one, could have become such a creature, as he was now-sacrificing his own happiness for those he loved.
However distant the hope was, it remained; Tsukushi could fall in love with him again if he stood by her. And if not, well he'd make sure she was happy anyway. That should be enough for anyone.
Rui sighed in exasperation, "Circles! All my thoughts lead 'round and 'round each other. A tangled knot of loops and spirals. Tsukushi and Tsukasa, Tsukushi and Rui! All the possibilities in the world await us. Only time would tell. So what use the thought?"
This short outburst fulfilling his need to vent, Rui relaxed at last, a slow smile spreading across his face. One never knew what eventualities might arise, especially around such volatile people as Tsukushi and Tsukasa. . . .
He'd just have to wait and see what the future would bring.