"Conner," Elizabeth breathed.
Conner stared at her intently and then a flicker of recognition
appeared in his eyes. "Elizabeth?"
"Yeah," she said, unsure of what to say. This wasn't how she expected
their reunion. After he left she used to dream about him coming back to
her, sweeping her up in his arms, and telling her that he couldn't live
without her. All that was happening now was that he was gazing at her
like he didn't even want her in the room.
"What are you doing here?" he said finally.
"I was looking for Megan," she explained. "And this was the address
they gave me. Conner what happened?"
Conner shifted uncomfortably. "It's kind of a long story."
"Enlighten me," she challenged.
Conner looked over his shoulder. "Not here and not now," he pleaded.
"Why not?" Elizabeth said softly. "I also want to know why you left.
And why you never wrote or called."
"A lot had changed," Conner stated.
"So I'm told," Elizabeth said. "Ever since I came back no one has
wanted to see me and plus nothing is the same. It's like no one even wants
me around."
"It's hard coming back," Conner agreed. "And people do want you around.
It's just not easy coming back after you leave. Especially since you
didn't leave on the best terms with everyone."
"Can't we talk Conner?" Elizabeth said near tears.
Conner fazed at his shoes. I guess we have to."
"No kidding," Elizabeth said her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I kind of have plans now. But maybe we can get together tomorrow for
lunch."
"Okay," Elizabeth said. Conner scribbled out his address and handed it
to her.
"Just so you know, I don't hate you," Conner said.
Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply but she was interrupted by a
breathy voice.
"Conner, angel, you ready?"
Elizabeth started as a girl walked into the room. She was everything
Elizabeth wasn't. She was tall, shapely, and had long wavy chestnut hair
to die for. She was wearing tight nurses uniform that didn't leave much
to the imagination.
Elizabeth shot Conner a look and he looked at the girl nervously.
"Elizabeth, this is Monique my girlfriend. Monique, this is Elizabeth.
Monique gazed Elizabeth up and down with a tiny smirk on her face. "She
another one of your groupies or something?"
Elizabeth felt her face burning. "Actually, I'm an old flame of
Conner's. We used to be in love."
Monique wasn't smirking now, Elizabeth noted. She was shooting daggers
at her.
"I think you need to go now," Conner said quietly at her.
Elizabeth's heart flopped. Conner was sending her out? So he could be
with Monique? What a stupid name. Elizabeth slowly and humiliated walked
out of the room.
This was just one for reason why she should hop on a plane and get out
of Sweet Valley.

"Coffee?" Jeremy said grinning down at her.
"Sure. Black, please."
Jeremy handed her a mug and joined her at the kitchen table. "So how
have you been?"
Jessica sighed and looked down at the table. "Stressful. Ryan is
beginning to suspect that something is going on. He's so pathetically
clueless that it's almost cute."
"It sounds like he's delusional."
"He's just in love," Jessica said defensively. "There is nothing wrong
with that."
They sat quietly together for a few minutes. "I hate this!" Jessica
burst out. "I used to know who I was and what I wanted and now nothing
makes sense anymore. I feel so dirty going behind his back like this. I
hate who I am!"
Jeremy looked over at her. "You don't have to come here."
Jessica stared at him. He had gotten it exactly. She didn't have to
come here. She shouldn't come here. But something was drawing her here
each day. It was like an obsession.
She got up and walked over to the bedroom where Jeremy had put her
coat. "I should go Jeremy," she said.
"Go," Jeremy said shrugging. "But you just can't walk out and think
this is over Jessica. Maybe you could have the first time but not now. You
crave me. Just like an alcoholic craves beer. You don't come over in
the middle of the day dressed like that," he said motioning to her short
black dress. "If this doesn't mean anything."
Jessica stared up at him unable to speak.
Suddenly Jeremy grabbed her forcefully and began to kiss her hungrily.
Jessica noted that their animal instincts were kicking in. As much as
she wanted to fight it she knew that she couldn't.
They collapsed onto his bed his fingers unzipping her dress and pulling
it down around her waist.
Jessica knew that things were getting out of hand. She knew that only
one person could help her now. She was going to have to talk to
Elizabeth.

Jessica and Jeremy lay stretched out across his bed.
"So when do I get to see the hottest rising actress perform?"
"Opening night is Friday night," Jessica said smiling.
"So do I get a ticket?" Jeremy teased.
Jessica thought about it for a minute. Ryan was attending opening night
as well and she didn't want to risk them running into each other. But
neither of them knew what the other looked liked. "Sure," she replied.
She glanced at the clock. "It's four-thirty!" she shrieked.
"Yeah," Jeremy said lazily. "So what?"
"Ryan always stops by to see me after work," Jessica explained.
"Man, it seems like that guy just follows you around like a lovesick
puppy," Jeremy commented.
"It's not like that," Jessica said. She got up and started putting on
her clothes. "He just cares about me."
"Stop that," Jeremy said grabbing her. "Stop implying that I don't and
stop rubbing it in that Ryan's like God's gift to women."
Jessica stared at him. "Jeremy, you know that we're heading for
trouble. That we're going to get caught or one day the flame just dies."
"Says who?"
"Jeremy, this is eating us up. Pretty soon there's going to be nothing
left," Jessica cried.
"Jessica, I love you," Jeremy said moaning. "Can't you see that? I want
you."
"What?" Jessica said in disbelief. Neither of them had ever uttered the
"L" word.
"You heard me," Jeremy said pulling her close.
"I have to go," Jessica said breathlessly.
"You can't run away from it forever," Jeremy said getting up after her.
"Jeremy, I just need some time to think things through. This has all
been happening way too fast.
"That's the best part," Jeremy said smirking.
"I have to go," Jessica said quietly. "Please."
"Right," Jeremy said grinning down at her. "Don't forget this." He
pulled Jessica's red lace bra from his pants pocket and dangled it on his
finger. Jessica grabbed it and stormed out of his apartment.


"So, how are rehearsals going?" Ryan asked Jessica.
"Pretty well."
"So, when I can I come watch you?" Ryan said lightly.
"Uh, you can't," Jessica said quickly. "The director is pretty strict
about stuff like that," Jessica lied. Her mind flew back to last night's
rehearsals where she and Jeremy had made out behind the scenery.
"Oh," Ryan said disappointed.
After a few moments of silence he cleared his throat. "Jessica, there's
something I've been wanting to talk about for a while."
"What?" Jessica said alarmed.
"Well, these last couple of days I've hardly seen you. And when we are
together you're all jumpy and distracted. I want to know if you're
happy with our relationship."
Jessica stared at him, speechless. In her mind she knew that this was
coming. And Ryan was giving her the perfect opportunity to break up with
him.
"These past two and half years have been the best years of my life
Jessica." Ryan continued. "I'm so in love with you that I can't think
straight."
Jessica melted at that. "Ryan, I-"
"You don't have to say anything Jess. Just tell me that I'm being
paranoid."
Jessica wanted to tell him the truth. That he wasn't being paranoid.
That he was closer to the truth than he thought. She had been distant and
jumpy. Jessica had been fully prepared to break up with him to be with
Jeremy. But what did Jeremy and her have? Great passion? Was that
enough?
Good relationships were built on trust, but theirs seemed to be built
on secrecy and lies.
And she knew if Ryan ever found out then she would loose him.
"You're not totally paranoid," Jessica admitted. She cringed as Ryan
tensed up. "I've been really busy lately with the play." Jessica glanced
up at him and she could tell that he wasn't buying it.
"But it's more than that," Jessica said quietly. "This whole thing with
Liz…I guess I haven't really dealt with it. I kind of shoved it to the
back of my mind. But now that she's back I just can't ignore it
anymore."
Ryan smiled at her. "That's all. I mean that's rough-"
"I know what you mean," Jessica said laughing. "But this thing with
Liz…it's far from over, Ryan. We both changed so much. Even if we get over
our differences, I have no idea who she is anymore. It's gonna take a
lot of time, and energy and I'm so scared. And I can't get through it
without you."
Ryan looked a little overwhelmed but he smiled up at her. "Wow,
Jessica. Of course I'll be there for you. Always."
"I know." Jessica said quietly. "I know."