Revenge of the Hufflepuffs
By: funkybuddah
Disclaimer: See Chapters 1 and 2
Authors Note: I don't think my italics aren't working::: big fake sobs::: Oh well, I'll make due. I had to up the rating. Leo has a filthy mouth. In case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, this fic is a response to a challenge and it the rules are as thus follows:
It must include:
31 pears
The entire Hufflepuff House break-dancing
A Kenny Rogers CD
Enjoy::: grins like madman:::
Several weeks later…
Leo DeLacy was not a happy Hufflepuff.
First of all, everything was yellow. God, how he hated yellow. His first morning he awoke to find the room filled with sunlight, birds were singing and all was right with the world. It was disgustingly perfect. He strongly believed that whomever decorated the room was on LSD.
Then came the other House color…black. Yellow and black. What was the Founder, a f***in' bumblebee? And the mascot was a badger. Not exactly the most terrifying of creatures. Ah yes, the terrifying badger. Watch the badger, in its mighty rage, nibble its opponent's bum! How mighty is the badger's wrath! Ground squirrels flee from it and butterflies quiver in fear of the evil tetrapod!
Leo was easily the brightest student in his House. It doesn't take much when your classmates look as though they couldn't string two words together. During Herbology he would look over to where the Gryffindors were working. Their personalities matched his own and he found their company much more pleasurable. I should been in Gryffindor, but oh no. I had to be in the f***ing "Huffingstuff" House. Okay, God, do you enjoy screwing up my life? If so, that's pretty sick and you seriously need a new hobby. I mean is there a reason I'm in Hufflepuff? Toss me a friggin bone God.
Well, God happened to be listening to Leo that particular day and gave him an answer, though it wasn't the one he wanted. That evening Leo got dressed for bed as usual (in a green shirt that said "Make 7up yours" and plaid boxers) and headed up toward his dormitory. After muttering "f***ing yellow" he climbed into bed. He dreamt he was walking down a hallway, stopping next to a portrait. It was a picture of a bowl of fruit. A woman's face materialized from the pear. The face smiled and whispered "If you break-dance, they will come."
Leo woke with a start. He shook his head, trying to forget the pear-lady's words. "I don't even know how to break-dance for God sake.", he said, "At least I think I can't." Finding the other boys fast asleep (Leo figured if an atomic bomb exploded a mile away they wouldn't even roll over) he crept out of the dorm. The Common room was empty and the fire had almost died out.
Glancing around, checking for anyone who might see him, Leo began to hum to himself. He made sure that he had the right beat and began to break-dance. It felt as though he had been able to break-dance all his life, like an instinct. His moves were perfect and performed with ease. Leo got up. This was a sign, a sign of the Hufflepuff revolution. It was his destiny to lead them. No longer would they be downtrodden, snubbed by the other Houses. Their time had come!