Disclaimer: JKR onsw her people, I own John and Leo. Tennessee owns it's airport (Not sure if it's an international airport. I've only been there once) The Titanic phrase is from M*A*S*H, and the fine Doritos™ people gave me the idea for "puffie slang"
Author's Note: Yay! New Chapter!
Chapter 5: Not my Kenny Rogers (a.k.a "puffie slang")
Music blared and Leo snapped his fingers repeatedly, counting out the rhythm and cursing his bad luck. It was their third practice and Leo was quickly learning that teaching Hufflepuffs to break dance was like trying to raise the Titanic with tweezers. They were making excruciatingly slow progress. Leo had added another day of lessons, Monday evening. These lessons were to teach the Hufflepuffs how to walk, talk and act completely "unHufflepuffish". The first one was…well…let's just say it was eventful.
"KENNY ROGERS! HE'S A F***ING COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER!"
Each of the dormitories was being searched. Trunks, bedside tables, and dressers were being torn apart. Anything deemed "un-cool" by Leo was promptly tossed out the window. It had been smooth sailing…until now.
Leo, at the tender age of six had developed a temper that could make people twice his size tremble in fear. He had the rare gift of intimidation and he knew how to use it. John J. Astor summered every year in Nashville, Tennessee (a/n ::sarcastically::: just where every British boy wants to go) with his Aunt Cecilia and Uncle Bert. Nashville was the country music capitol and grew to love it. For his tenth birthday he went to Branson, Missouri to see his idol, Kenny Rogers in concert. He even brought his autographed Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits CD to Hogwarts, purely for sentimental purposes.
The CD didn't seem to amuse Leo. Upon seeing the CD in John's trunk a traumatic childhood memory came floating into Leo's mind. What ever it was it evolved jellybeans, a taxi, Nashville International Airport, a rubber ducky, Kenny Rogers, and a six old Leo DeLacy (maybe that's why he has a temper).
John never knew what hit him in the face, but he guessed it was the CD flung by Leo, who was shaking with rage.
"KENNY ROGERS?!"
"It's not what it looks like Leo." whimpered John
"KENNY ROGERS?!"
"Please don't hurt me." John pleaded and tears began to stream down his face. He feared for his life "As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…"
"KENNY ROGERS! HE'S A F***ING COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER!"
"I know…"
Leo realized that he had gone a bit overboard. He put the CD back in its case and threw it on John's bed.
"Oh, pull yourself together man. Just try to shake of the country music thing. I'm sorry. Put the CD away where no one will fin it. And have this." Leo handed John another CD.
"Hmmm…Linkin Park…thanks Leo."
"No problem my puffie."
"What?" said John, thoroughly confused.
"Repeat after me. Whazup my puffie."
"Whazup my puffie?"
"No problem my puffie."
"No problem my puffie."
"I'm just chillin' with my puffies."
"I'm just chillin' with my puffies."
"There, you just had your first lesson on how to be a Hufflepuff on the 21st century."