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Part Five

I have to give this one an NC17 rating, but only because of Chakotay's wandering mind. Men - chuh! You could probably miss it if you're not concentrating, so don't worry too much.

I scarce believe my love to be so pure
As I had thought it was,
Because it doth endure
Vicissitude, and season, as the grass;
Methinks I lied all winter, when I swore
My love was infinite, if spring make it more.

The crew of the Ricsian had not come quietly, but the Aristeia had eventually managed to tractor them and beam out the crew. They had laid in a course for DS9 just in time to avoid the Federation escort' headed by the Agamemnon. What transpired after their arrival on the station was even more disturbing than the orders to destroy the idea of opening fire on the Ricsian. The orders had not come from Owen Paris, and the weapons casings on the seized polaric missiles were Starfleet.

"So, exactly how was the message disguised?"

Janeway and Chakotay were sat at a table with Captain Benjamin Sisco, Security Chief Odo and Admiral Paris.

"Ah, we haven't actually figured that out yet," said Odo; he looked almost ashamed.

"And where did the Starfleet parts come from?" Chakotay leaned on his elbows. Odo was silent. Sisco sighed loudly, and stood up.

"Well people. Whatever is going on I intend to get to the bottom of it. Starfleet Command have decided to continue the investigation aboard the station, they're sending some people immediately. I'm sorry, but I must ask all involved parties to remain on the station until further notice. A formality, but a necessary one, you understand."

Janeway, Chakotay and Paris all sighed, resigned.

"Will that be all?" Janeway smiled up at Sisco, trying not to show how tired she was.

"Of course Captain, I'm sure you are looking forward to some time off. Just think of this as," he smiled his enigmatic smile, "as a little holiday."

Kathryn couldn't help but grin.

"Thank you I'll try." She stood, "Now Gentlemen if you'll excuse me." Leaving Ops she made her way to the promenade, taking a brief stroll and pausing to watch the wormhole, before descending to the habitat ring and her quarters. Keying in her code she entered the room wearily, but a huge smile broke out on her face as she saw what was waiting for her. On the coffee table was a tall, elegantly tapered glass vase filled with dozens and dozens of red and white roses. Their perfume filled the room, making Kathryn feel intoxicated as she breathed it in. She approached the vase and reached out both hands to gather the blooms together, bending her head into them to smell their fragrance. She had never been given flowers before, by anybody but Chakotay. It was considered something of an outdated sentiment, but it never failed to put a smile on her face. She sighed and shook her head - things were so up in the air right now, and she hated that feeling. Yes, she was a control freak, and even more so after the breakdown. She still needed that control, that really was part of Kathryn and not just the Captain. Despite the shocking discovery of the falsified orders and the stolen (or supplied?) weapons casings she could not apply her intellect to the puzzle. Well she had better find something to occupy her time, they could be here for a while. Although all of her crew had been subject to this provision, the only thing that stuck out in her mind was that she and Chakotay were both here for the duration. All of the time on the Aristeia she had been silently hoping that the mission would be concluded , that they could get off the ship, onto even ground..... But now these thoughts disturbed her, She was afraid, she recognised, merely afraid, but also excited. She hadn't felt like that since...since their last night on Voyager. She cast her mind sadly back to the first six months following the return. She and Chakotay had moved into a large, airy apartment not far from Starfleet HQ. They had chosen furniture, Chakotay had even made some, and she had painted. But it had all fallen apart so quickly. Tears welled up in her eyes, for all of the wasted time, and the needless pain she had caused, imagining Chakotay coming home from work to find that...that notes, on a PADD. But she couldn't have stayed. It wasn't Chakotay she had been running from. She was trying to escape herself, and Starfleet. Since disembarking Voyager she would panic at the thought of being shut up on a ship.


The doorchimes sounded and she raised her head.

"Come in." Chakotay entered, and she grinned, despite herself. The nervous feeling was coming back.

"Hi, you OK?"

"Yes, I just fancied a walk and a little rest. Thank you for the flowers Chakotay, they're beautiful." She crossed the room to him and put her hands on his shoulders, raising herself up so she could reach his cheek to kiss him. She saw his eyes close, and felt his hands on her waist.

"Oh I've missed you Kathryn," he breathed, then took hold of her more tightly and rest his head in the crook of her neck. They stood there just holding on to one another until the chirp of a comm-badge forced them to separate.

"Sisco to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead Mr Sisco."

"I thought you'd be interested to know that the party from Starfleet have arrived and wish to pursue the investigation as soon as possible. They would like to see you and Commander Chakotay some time this evening."

Janeway sighed.

"Thanks, but can it really not wait until the morning?"

"I'll leave that up to you. Admiral Chapman is heading up the investigation, you should speak to her." "Thank you anyway. Janeway out."

"Are you going to see her tonight?" Chakotay pulled her back to him and spoke against the side of her head.

"I suppose I should, but I'll arrange to see her in the morning. Wait for me?"

"Always." His answer stunned her into silence, and the emotion that welled up inside her made her want to cry. He remembered that happy time the same way she did. She took his face between her hands and kissed him passionately.

"You know I love you Chakotay."

"Yes, and I love you. Please don't ever leave me again." There it was again, that disarming simplicity.

"Never!" Kathryn choked. Oh what had she done to deserve this man?! The kind of devotion and dramatic passion they shared was, she had thought, something only for holo-novels. Reluctantly she broke the embrace. The sooner she saw the Admiral the sooner she could get back to Chakotay.

"I'll be as quick as I can."

She touched his face briefly, then left the room.


***

Chakotay sat heavily down on the sofa in Kathryn's quarters; he hoped the Admiral would not keep her long. He allowed his head to fall back, enjoying the quiet of the room briefly. Since Kathryn's message a little over a month ago his life had been turned upside down, his every hour consumed by thoughts of her, of them. At first he had found it impossible to ponder the situation calmly. Despite their relatively amicable meeting he had still been immensely angry and deeply hurt, but he had sensed something in her - a weakness, a vulnerability, an inability to suffer his bad favour - and if there was one thing he could never do it was hurt Kathryn. And so he had reigned in his anger, and a good thing it had been too, it had never helped him achieve anything. He had, however, been unable to conceal just how much pain she had caused him. This was simply because nobody had ever made him feel that way. He had certainly run the entire gamut of emotions with this woman. It was ironic, he thought, that the angrier she made him, the more pain she caused him, that these extremes could only testify to how much he loved her. Because she could also make him supremely happy. Every day with her had been an ecstasy. He thought about her just now, her face flushed with pleasure, the feel of her lips on his, the taste of her. He had missed that, her taste, her smell; it still had the same effect on him. He felt his body reacting to the sensuous memories he was reliving. He thought of how it had been, of her in the mornings turning over to greet him, the peach of her skin against the white sheets, the sun on her face, shining through the open window onto her tousled hair. Gods he wished she'd hurry back so he could lay her down and....he had to stop tormenting himself. The anticipation was becoming unbearable, his Kathryn was back with him. He wanted the first time to be gentle and slow, just the way she liked it. He stood up and looked around for something to do. There was nothing here that could hold his attention when it was Kathryn he was awaiting. He decided to take a walk to the promenade, that way, he would meet her on her way back.

***

He stood at a vast viewport watching the wormhole. It was the fourth time he had watched it blossom into being, like a huge stellar flower, admit a traveller, and then recede into nothingness. Where was she? It had been almost an hour. He sighed. He knew this was unprofessional but..... Tapping his comm-badge he summoned Ops. "Kira here, how can we help you Commander?"
"Ah Major. I was just wondering if Captain Janeway is still in her meeting with Admiral Chapman."

A short silence greeted his question.

"Major Kira?"

"Captain Janeway never appeared. The Admiral left thirty minutes ago - she was not happy."

Chakotay felt a wave of panic.

"Can you locate her - she's been gone for almost an hour."

"Just a second." He heard Kira punching some commands into a console, then a computer voice. Captain Janeway is on the promenade. He looked around but could not see her anywhere.

"Kira she's not here." Chakotay could feel the urgency in his own voice, and Kira did not miss it.

"She can't be far Commander. Kira to Janeway......Captain Janeway please respond." Nothing. "I'm sending a continuous signal through Commander, see if you can hear it."

At first Chakotay could hear nothing, and was frustrated at the murmured hum of traders and passers-by. Taking a deep breath he forced himself calm and strained his ears, eventually hearing a slight crackle, like static. He moved towards the balcony, then along the walkway. It was getting louder. And then he saw it. In the corner by one of the viewports a flash of light caught his eye - it was a comm-badge.

"Major Kira," he felt sick. "I've found her comm-badge. I'm on my way to Ops."


***

"I'll be as quick as I can." Kathryn was already half way to the turbolift when she heard the door to her quarters slide shut behind her. She started smiling to herself - this was working out better than she could have hoped. She was frantic to get the meeting with India Chapman over and done with, and get back to the evening with Chakotay. The smile refused to leave her face even though she shared the lift with two complete strangers. She stepped out onto the promenade level and paused to get her bearings. The doors swished closed behind her and she turned to head along the walkway, when somebody grabbed her by the arm twisting it painfully behind her, and clamped a hand over her mouth before she could cry out. She was pulled backwards past the lift into a dark alcove, struggling to keep her feet. She tried desperately to reach backwards with her free hand, and get a hold on something to free herself. A deep voice from in front of her stilled her struggles.
"Captain, Captain. My colleague here could be persuaded to loosen his grip somewhat, provided I have your full cooperation of course." A coarse retort was on the tip of her tongue but she bit it back as a tall Cardassian stepped from the shadows, with a small disruptor trained on her. He reached out and plucked the comm-badge from her uniform, tossing it away. The hand was removed from her mouth, but she was still held fast.

"Gul Durant." Her voice was heavy with grim recognition.

"I'm honoured that you remember me Captain, but let's leave the niceties for another time yes?"

"What do you want? Why are you treating me like this?"

"I'd have thought that was obvious Captain. As yet there are no proceedings against myself and my crew, but it really is only a matter of time." He was smiling benignly all the time.

"Well what am I meant to do about that?" Kathryn struggled to keep her panic under control, but this Gul was even more menacing, if possible, than the one who had captured her on Urtea II all those years ago.

"Well I was going to suggest an arrangement that would have been beneficial for both of us, but it seems you're not exactly in the mood to be participate." Kathryn struggled again, against the hands holding her tightly; Durant raise the weapon a little, as if to remind her of her predicament.

"If you think for one minute I would help you off the station-" she was getting angry now.

"Oh I don't expect you to agree immediately my dear," Durant raised his disruptor to Kathryn's chin, forcing her head up and back. He began to caress her cheek with the muzzle. "Which is why I've brought along my friend here. Captain Janeway, meet Doctor Katrel."

Doctor? A cold wave of sickness passed over Kathryn, but before she could engage her mind she heard the hiss of a hypospray near her left ear, and her vision grew blurred.

"No!" She barely heard her own words before she lost consciousness.


***

Kathryn drew in a frantic breath as she began to become aware of herself again. She realised she was lying face down on a hard surface; the room was dark. She strained her eyes and ears in an attempt to surmise where she was. From the leaden feel of her body she suspected a severe dose of sedative had been administered. She could hear a humming, but it was not engines. She must still be on the station - thank the gods - that was something at least. How long had she been unconscious? There was no way of telling. She made to stretch, her body stiff from being so still on this hard floor. She was greeted by a sharp pain in her neck at the very top of her spine, which caused her to cry out weakly. Gingerly, she reached up to the point of the pain. There was something there. The area was very tender to the touch, but she could just make out a hard disc, about three centimetres across, under the skin. Oh God, please no. She had to get out of here. She began to raise herself up on her arms, bringing her legs beneath her to sit up. She was on the floor. There was machinery in the room. Oh where was Chakotay? Would he be looking for her yet? Or did he think she'd left again? She heard the sound of metal on metal and a door opened, bright light streaming in and blinding her momentarily.
"Where am I?" her mouth was dry and her voice rasped in her throat.

"You're in the old ore refinery my dear. You forget that this is an old Cardassian station, and I know all of its little private' places."

"Yes well my people are already looking for me." She rubbed her eyes. She was still groggy, but struggled to her feet. She cast her eyes quickly about her. Was there anything here to fight with? The were plenty of tools and bits of machinery if she could just get to them, but Kathryn suspected she wouldn't get far with this...this thing in her neck. Another sickening wave of panic threatened to shatter her control, but this time it was accompanied by a rising indignance and anger. After all she had been through, all she had conquered within herself, this Cardassian animal was not going to get the better of her.

"Durant do what you will. I won't help you." She saw the Gul start. Her tone hadn't been defiant or heroic, even angry, just calm and matter-of-fact. She began to walk towards him. "If you turn me loose now, the Federation might be persuaded not to have you executed." Again he started, but then began to laugh. He turned partway around to call through the doorway.

"Did you hear that Katrel -" It was all she needed. Grabbing the hydrospanner from the floor by her feet, she drew back and swung it at the side of the Gul's head with all of the strength she could muster. Katrel must have heard the muffled crunch of bone and cartilage, and the dull cry from Durant, because he came rushing into the room in a panic. They stood, squared off at one another. Kathryn brandished her weapon, watching him carefully. She saw his eyes drop briefly to Durant's hand and followed his gaze. The control to the thing in her neck. Both rushed at the same moment but Katrel was quicker. Kathryn froze as the pain coursed through her. Her hands went to her head, but the pain was everywhere. She dropped to her knees as every muscle, sinew and nerve screamed out in white hot pain. Her vision swam and became tinged with red, and she felt, rather than heard, herself yell, lungs bursting. Dimly, beyond her straining voice, she heard phaser fire, and hoped he had decided to kill her, and then she blacked out.

As if she had only blinked, her eyes flew open and she tried to sit up. The only response from her body was a painful twitching, so she lay still. She was still on the cold, hard floor, but her head and shoulders were raised up, and somebody was stroking her hair and speaking to her. Chakotay! Her eyes flooded with tears of relief as she croaked out his name.

"Oh Kathryn! Gods, don't you ever do that again you hear?" She felt him raining kisses down on her forehead but was too weak to smile. She was OK now, she could relax, Chakotay had found her. She felt strong arms picking her up, and then the familiar tingle of a transporter beam, before she slipped back into unconsciousness.

On to Part Six

Lines of poetry : from LOVE'S GROWTH by John Donne