Title: Always
Author: Roxy
Spoilers: No spoilers, just a thought that has been running through my mind quite a bit. more like a day dream. It's kind of sad.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" belongs to UPN, and Joss Whendon.
Summary: Spike and Dawn have a whirlwind romance only to be cut short by death. Hope you all enjoy this one!
Rating: PG-13 - R (This chapter contains a flashback to "Seeing Red" If the scene between Buffy and Spike disturbs you I suggest that you do not read the scene.)
Feedback: OH! please! I need the stuff... makes me write faster. Tell me if you all want me to continue on this fic! Spoon feed me anything... even if you hate this fic... tell me! I hope you all really like this chapter. I sure do!
"You're right Will." Xander started, looking to the redhead, breaking the silence that filled the room, "We all know you're right about us all losing someone." He clarified, "Only this times it's different. We should have known about this.. We should have expected-"
"Expected. Expected Dawn and Spike.." Buffy interrupted laughing almost painfully, "I don't know about you Xander, but I would have never expected that one. never." She stressed, taking out a broom and a dust pan out of the closet in the back room. Buffy came out holding the items close at hand, she leaned over the small pile of dust on the floor, and swept the remains of the vampire into the dust pan.
The others watched her incredulously, the way she took him into the dust pan so carefully, Buffy was careful not to spill the dust on herself. Then she slowly walked to the entrance door, her concentration ever steady, even as the bell at the top of the door rang when she opened the door, she never flinched.
Buffy's heart skipped a beat as she flung the pan outside into the air, letting the wind carry Spike away. Buffy stood there for a long moment, almost if to make sure that he was really gone.
She turned back around heading into the Magic Box again. Her ritual ended.
"I didn't mean expected in that way." Xander told Buffy gently, slightly confused by his friend's actions before, "Buff, She's not a little kid anymore. She hasn't been one for a long time."
"Don't you think I know that Xander?" Buffy snapped at him, "I just didn't expect my little sister to be boinking a vampire. especially that vampire." She turned to look at all of them seriously. Buffy sighed deeply remembering how badly Spike had hurt her. This thing between Dawn and him just magnified the blow to her ego making her feel defenseless
May 7th 2002: The Summer's House.
Buffy leaned over the off white bathtub, starting to let the water flow. She adjusted the water's temperature so it wasn't too hot or too cold. She grimaced at the pain in her back as she had leaned over to turn the water on. That damn vampire in the graveyard!
"How hard are you going to kick when you're dust?" She had challenged it, another witty pun, and of course the vampire had kicked pretty hard when he turned to dust.
"That was rhetorical." Buffy had groaned after being thrown sharply against a tombstone breaking it in half.
"You hurt?" Spike asked concerned standing in the doorway. Buffy gasped slightly, she hadn't expected Spike to come, and she really didn't want to deal with him that moment.
"Get out." She directed him strongly, holding her head upon her shoulders.
"We need to talk." He insisted to her.
"I really don't." Buffy told him straightforward not wanting to cause any arguments. She stood her ground.
Spike's scintillating blue eyes seemed to pierce through her as he stated, "This isn't just about you - as much you'd like it to be."
"You spoke. I listened. You leave."
"I'm sorry." He told her softly; his voice was drowning in sincerity. Buffy looks at Spike his voice affecting her despite the hurt and anger she felt inside. Spike continued, "Not like it matters now, but I needed you to know that." He referred to being sorry.
"Why?" Buffy asked him softly.
"Because I care about you." Spike insisted.
"Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends." A hint of a flare rang in her voice as memories of seeing Spike and Anya together came flooding back. How she had found out was even worse, she saw it with her own eyes catching the whole thing on camera live.
"That's not." Spike started, "I didn't go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell." He explained.
Buffy's anger started to rise, "You were going to use a spell on me?" She asked horrified at the thought.
"It wasn't for you. I wanted something - anything to make this feeling stop," Spike started to sound like a tortured soul, but that was it. he didn't have a soul, at least not then, "I just wanted it to stop." He gave a beat, "You should have let him kill me."
Buffy remembered Xander's anger, how he had had a stake hard against Spike ready to end his un-life right there and then, and she remembered stopping him. How the thought of Spike, her ex-lover, was so uncanny.
"I couldn't."
"Why?"
"You know why." Buffy told him softly.
"Because you love me." Spike said so confident in himself.
The silence filled the room, as the feeling in both them rise. It's going way beyond pain, and finally the truth comes.
Buffy put him down as gently as she could, "No. I don't."
"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" He asked her slightly pained by the words she spoke to him.
Buffy sighed slightly, "I'm not saying I don't have feeling for you. I do. but it's not love." She paused, "I could never trust you enough for it to become that."
The words hit him hard, he laughs, "Trust is for old marrieds Buffy," He leans in closer to her as he speaks feeling filling his voice, "Great love is wild and passionate. and dangerous. It burns and consumes."
She finishes his sentence, "Until there's nothing left." She looks at him incredulously, "That kind of love doesn't last."
He moves closer to her, both desperate and tortured, "I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore." Spike leans to kiss her gently; she stops him.
"Spike-"
"Let yourself feel it." He becomes more forceful.
"Stop it." Buffy tells him. They struggle for a moment. Fear runs through her eyes as it becomes more rough, more accelerated.
"You love me." Spike had always had a thing for becoming overly obsessive, it was just a quality for his, something he had no control over, not even when he was human.
"Don't-" Buffy stumbled back grabbing the shower curtain as she fell, and the rings of the shower curtain pop off loudly. She gasps in pain again as her back hits the edge of the tub, and then her head. Buffy is dazed for a moment. She looks up and Spike is on her, pinning her down. He kisses her hard.
"Let it go. Let yourself love me."
Tears flood her eyes, "Stop it. please. stop."
He touches her, "I know you felt it. When I was inside you."
"Don't." She manages to push him off for a moment, but he catches her just as quickly pinning her wrists down.
"You're going to let me inside you."
"Please." Buffy is almost begging him now to stop, to let her go.
"You'll feel it again, Buffy."
"Spike, stop." He tears at her robe.
"I'll make you feel it."
"Stop!" She finally finds the strength to shove him back, he flies across the room cracking the wall and crashing to the floor. Buffy stands, trembling with both rage and fear. She reclaims her power.
Her tears almost fall as she grits her teeth and looks at him fire in her eyes, "Ask me again why I could never love you." Spike glances up realizing how far he crossed the line.
"Oh god. Buffy. I didn't-"
Buffy interrupts him, "Because I stopped you. Something I should have done a long time ago."
Sunnydale 2005: Back to the present
Dawn stood in the Magic Box, holding the broken bottle in her hand, she looked at the bottle for a long moment before turning her gaze to the others. Her face was flushed as her chest rose and fell. Dawn took a deep breath before speaking.
"How could you do it? How could you do it, Buffy."
Author: Roxy
Spoilers: No spoilers, just a thought that has been running through my mind quite a bit. more like a day dream. It's kind of sad.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" belongs to UPN, and Joss Whendon.
Summary: Spike and Dawn have a whirlwind romance only to be cut short by death. Hope you all enjoy this one!
Rating: PG-13 - R (This chapter contains a flashback to "Seeing Red" If the scene between Buffy and Spike disturbs you I suggest that you do not read the scene.)
Feedback: OH! please! I need the stuff... makes me write faster. Tell me if you all want me to continue on this fic! Spoon feed me anything... even if you hate this fic... tell me! I hope you all really like this chapter. I sure do!
"You're right Will." Xander started, looking to the redhead, breaking the silence that filled the room, "We all know you're right about us all losing someone." He clarified, "Only this times it's different. We should have known about this.. We should have expected-"
"Expected. Expected Dawn and Spike.." Buffy interrupted laughing almost painfully, "I don't know about you Xander, but I would have never expected that one. never." She stressed, taking out a broom and a dust pan out of the closet in the back room. Buffy came out holding the items close at hand, she leaned over the small pile of dust on the floor, and swept the remains of the vampire into the dust pan.
The others watched her incredulously, the way she took him into the dust pan so carefully, Buffy was careful not to spill the dust on herself. Then she slowly walked to the entrance door, her concentration ever steady, even as the bell at the top of the door rang when she opened the door, she never flinched.
Buffy's heart skipped a beat as she flung the pan outside into the air, letting the wind carry Spike away. Buffy stood there for a long moment, almost if to make sure that he was really gone.
She turned back around heading into the Magic Box again. Her ritual ended.
"I didn't mean expected in that way." Xander told Buffy gently, slightly confused by his friend's actions before, "Buff, She's not a little kid anymore. She hasn't been one for a long time."
"Don't you think I know that Xander?" Buffy snapped at him, "I just didn't expect my little sister to be boinking a vampire. especially that vampire." She turned to look at all of them seriously. Buffy sighed deeply remembering how badly Spike had hurt her. This thing between Dawn and him just magnified the blow to her ego making her feel defenseless
May 7th 2002: The Summer's House.
Buffy leaned over the off white bathtub, starting to let the water flow. She adjusted the water's temperature so it wasn't too hot or too cold. She grimaced at the pain in her back as she had leaned over to turn the water on. That damn vampire in the graveyard!
"How hard are you going to kick when you're dust?" She had challenged it, another witty pun, and of course the vampire had kicked pretty hard when he turned to dust.
"That was rhetorical." Buffy had groaned after being thrown sharply against a tombstone breaking it in half.
"You hurt?" Spike asked concerned standing in the doorway. Buffy gasped slightly, she hadn't expected Spike to come, and she really didn't want to deal with him that moment.
"Get out." She directed him strongly, holding her head upon her shoulders.
"We need to talk." He insisted to her.
"I really don't." Buffy told him straightforward not wanting to cause any arguments. She stood her ground.
Spike's scintillating blue eyes seemed to pierce through her as he stated, "This isn't just about you - as much you'd like it to be."
"You spoke. I listened. You leave."
"I'm sorry." He told her softly; his voice was drowning in sincerity. Buffy looks at Spike his voice affecting her despite the hurt and anger she felt inside. Spike continued, "Not like it matters now, but I needed you to know that." He referred to being sorry.
"Why?" Buffy asked him softly.
"Because I care about you." Spike insisted.
"Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends." A hint of a flare rang in her voice as memories of seeing Spike and Anya together came flooding back. How she had found out was even worse, she saw it with her own eyes catching the whole thing on camera live.
"That's not." Spike started, "I didn't go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell." He explained.
Buffy's anger started to rise, "You were going to use a spell on me?" She asked horrified at the thought.
"It wasn't for you. I wanted something - anything to make this feeling stop," Spike started to sound like a tortured soul, but that was it. he didn't have a soul, at least not then, "I just wanted it to stop." He gave a beat, "You should have let him kill me."
Buffy remembered Xander's anger, how he had had a stake hard against Spike ready to end his un-life right there and then, and she remembered stopping him. How the thought of Spike, her ex-lover, was so uncanny.
"I couldn't."
"Why?"
"You know why." Buffy told him softly.
"Because you love me." Spike said so confident in himself.
The silence filled the room, as the feeling in both them rise. It's going way beyond pain, and finally the truth comes.
Buffy put him down as gently as she could, "No. I don't."
"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" He asked her slightly pained by the words she spoke to him.
Buffy sighed slightly, "I'm not saying I don't have feeling for you. I do. but it's not love." She paused, "I could never trust you enough for it to become that."
The words hit him hard, he laughs, "Trust is for old marrieds Buffy," He leans in closer to her as he speaks feeling filling his voice, "Great love is wild and passionate. and dangerous. It burns and consumes."
She finishes his sentence, "Until there's nothing left." She looks at him incredulously, "That kind of love doesn't last."
He moves closer to her, both desperate and tortured, "I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore." Spike leans to kiss her gently; she stops him.
"Spike-"
"Let yourself feel it." He becomes more forceful.
"Stop it." Buffy tells him. They struggle for a moment. Fear runs through her eyes as it becomes more rough, more accelerated.
"You love me." Spike had always had a thing for becoming overly obsessive, it was just a quality for his, something he had no control over, not even when he was human.
"Don't-" Buffy stumbled back grabbing the shower curtain as she fell, and the rings of the shower curtain pop off loudly. She gasps in pain again as her back hits the edge of the tub, and then her head. Buffy is dazed for a moment. She looks up and Spike is on her, pinning her down. He kisses her hard.
"Let it go. Let yourself love me."
Tears flood her eyes, "Stop it. please. stop."
He touches her, "I know you felt it. When I was inside you."
"Don't." She manages to push him off for a moment, but he catches her just as quickly pinning her wrists down.
"You're going to let me inside you."
"Please." Buffy is almost begging him now to stop, to let her go.
"You'll feel it again, Buffy."
"Spike, stop." He tears at her robe.
"I'll make you feel it."
"Stop!" She finally finds the strength to shove him back, he flies across the room cracking the wall and crashing to the floor. Buffy stands, trembling with both rage and fear. She reclaims her power.
Her tears almost fall as she grits her teeth and looks at him fire in her eyes, "Ask me again why I could never love you." Spike glances up realizing how far he crossed the line.
"Oh god. Buffy. I didn't-"
Buffy interrupts him, "Because I stopped you. Something I should have done a long time ago."
Sunnydale 2005: Back to the present
Dawn stood in the Magic Box, holding the broken bottle in her hand, she looked at the bottle for a long moment before turning her gaze to the others. Her face was flushed as her chest rose and fell. Dawn took a deep breath before speaking.
"How could you do it? How could you do it, Buffy."