Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

Regrets

I shouldn't have let him do it.

The thought sometimes runs through my mind.

I know that what he did was wrong and that the consequences of his actions would most likely be heartrending, but still I did nothing.

I am not usually a very strong Digimon. Most people would use the word timid to describe me. But I'd say coward was more fitting.

Willingly, I watched as other Digimon suffered, as he reveled in their pain and capitulation. And when it came to confrontation, avoidance was key. Even when he was in midst of a struggle, I still held back, making sure that I was safe at his expense.

I was spineless and my selfishness disgusts me.

But I suppose, a part of me was in denial. I didn't want to believe he had changed, that I had lost him. Part of me still was holding on to cherished memories and a hope that he could still be changed.

Abuse, humiliation, all I endured at his hands and yet I refused to give up. I refused to let go of my stubborn beliefs.

And when even I finally lost hope, I did the unthinkable. I betrayed him.   

It was the hardest thing that I had done. To hurt him in my quest to save him, I aided our then-enemies, the other Chosen Children and shattered the illusions of grandeur that surrounded him.

And illusions they were. His "perfect" creation was truly a monster, ironically intent upon the destruction of his creator as on anything else.

His base was eliminated, his servants abandoned him, and he was alone.

And with my destruction came realization, as I hoped it would.

All he had done, the pain he had inflicted. Everything came tumbling upon him, crushing him underfoot with guilt and shame.

I couldn't help him.

I know how terribly he suffered, I hear him crying out in the night. His screams pierce even the quietest of nights. In dreams, he begs for mercy, though by light he struggles to remain indifferent. Showing sentiment is difficult for him.

Even with my presence he's restless. Searching for an absolution that can never be obtained. At least not in his mind.

But I remain. Masking my own guilt about my role, I do my best to console him. His parents, despite their good intentions don't understand him and the thought of friends, even Daisuke, the persistent leader of the Chosen Children cause him discomfort.

His past is a misery and his future uncertain. But it doesn't matter to me. No matter the pain that comes with it, I will stay beside him.

I will stay with the child that I love. Always with Ken.