Part III-Night of the Mind
John stood in the med chamber staring at Aeryn. She was so still. She had electrodes on her head monitoring her brain activity. Dargo, Chiana, and Rygel were in the background. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it softly. He looked over his shoulder at them. Noranti was standing across the med bay working with some herbs.
John: (his voice was eerily calm) Somebody talk to me.
Dargo: She watched you disappear through the wormhole. She watched you die, so we thought. It was more than she could handle.
John: Aeryn is a lot of things but weak is not one of them.
Chiana walked over to the other side of the table and laid her hand on Aeryn.
Chiana: She went farbot after you disappeared. She forced Sikozu and even Scorpius to go over and over the notes in your notebook to try to figure out when the wormhole would open again so that she could follow you in.
Rygel: She thought it was the false Earth scenario happening all over again.
Chiana: Of course they could not figure out the missing equation.
Rygel: She kept expecting you to come back or for us to be able to follow you.
Dargo: She would spend arns flying around in her prowler trying to create the same conditions you created that time on Dam ba da thinking that if she could then may be the wormhole would come. She nearly killed herself several times. It got to the point where we had to incapacitate her prowler and your module. The pods could not generate the speed she needed.
John turned back to Aeryn.
Chiana: For monens she would not let us leave that area of tormented space. She kept thinking that you would find your way back and that you would need us to be there when you did.
Rygel: She would not even entertain the possibility that you were gone for good.
John: How did she end up a poster child for catatonia?
Everyone looked toward Dargo.
Dargo: I made a decision. As Captain of Moya, I had to think about the entire crew.
John: What did you do to her?
Noranti: I gave her a mixture that helped clear her mind of all thoughts.
John: Like the stuff you gave me?
Noranti: Similar but she needed something much more potent. Something that would work for longer periods of time.
He looked at Dargo.
John: (anger rising in his voice) Have you lost your mind? You were giving me that long speech about taking anything that Granny gave me and you turn around and use something even stronger on Aeryn.
Dargo: It was getting difficult to control her behavior. We could not watch over her every microt.
Sikozu: She was being tortured mentally and torturing herself physically.
John stared at Noranti.
John: I am back now so wake her up.
Chiana: That is the problem.
John: What is?
Rygel: Noranti stopped giving her the herbs several weeknens ago and we have not been able to revive her.
John reached over the table and grabbed Noranti.
John: What the hell did you do to her?
Noranti: Just wanted to help like I helped you.
John: This is nothing like me. Look at her. She is comatose.
Dargo pulled John off of Noranti.
Dargo: We have done everything we can to revive her. Nothing works.
John forcibly pulled away from Dargo.
John: What do you think happens when you strip a person of their consciousness? Of their ability to think and reason, what did you expect would be left for her to cling to? What kind of reality could she have with no ability to think or reason?
Chiana: We just wanted to stop her pain, John. No one wanted this to happen.
John looked at Noranti.
John: What do we do now?
Noranti: Aeryn left because she could not handle what she witnessed. The death of the man she loved.
Rygel: For the second time.
Noranti: May be you are the only one who can bring her back.
John: I will do anything. What can I do?
Noranti: We must stimulate her subconscious to force her out from where she has gone. We must make her remember everything, the glory as well as the pain.
John: How? I thought your herbs took that ability away from her?
Noranti: Once the drug has worked itself out of her system, everything should return.
Chiana: Should? You said it would definitely return once we cleansed her system.
Noranti: The mind is a tricky thing. I do not know what will happen. She has gone deeper than anyone I have ever dealt with before.
John pulled up the chair and sat beside the table. He reached up and touched her hair.
Dargo: John, we will all take turns sitting with her, talking with her and trying to get her back.
John looked up at Dargo with a cold look in his eyes.
John: I think you have done enough Captain. You worry about Moya. I will take care of Aeryn.
Chiana: You can not think that any of us wanted this to happen.
John: I do not know what I think, Chi. What I know is that Aeryn has disappeared somewhere inside herself and I do not know if I can get her back.
Rygel: Like she did on Valldon.
Crichton looked at Rygel.
John: She found her way back from that. She can from this too.
He leaned over her.
John: Aeryn?
There was no response.
John: Baby. It is John. I am here. I came back.
Dargo laid his hand on his shoulder.
Dargo: We have tried everything. We have not been able to reach her.
John: I will talk to her until she hears me.
******
Aeryn was sitting curled up in a ball in a cold, dark room. Her head was leaning against the wall and her eyes were closed. Around her there were distorted sounds that echoed in her ears like tortured screams. Suddenly there was a warm light touching her face. She opened her eyes slowly terrified to see but afraid to look away. The light was very bright. She lifted her hand to shield her eyes.
Zhann: Aeryn.
Aeryn sat up slowly.
Aeryn: Zhann?
Zhann: You have been here long enough surrounded by this darkness. It is time to let the light back in.
The walls around Aeryn became illuminated with images of John. She stood up. She turned in a slow 360 looking at them all. Some made her smile, even laugh, and some made her sad.
Zhann: (speaking close to her ear) It is time for you to go back and claim your life.
Aeryn: How are you here? I do not understand.
Zhann: When I gave you my spiritual energy, I gave you a part of myself. I reside in a small part of your subconscious. I could feel you slipping away. I could not let you do that. You have to go back.
Aeryn: I can not. I do not know how to live without John. I have tried and failed. I prefer to stay here.
Zhann: Surrounded by hopelessness and despair? Is this what you intend to do with the gift I gave you?
Aeryn: I told you it was a bad trade. Your health for mine. You should have just let me stay dead at least John would still be alive.
Zhann: You are not responsible for either of them. We are born with a destiny Aeryn. We do not control our own much less the people we love.
Aeryn: I am so tired of feeling this pain. I just want to rest.
The images of John disappeared. Aeryn looked at Zhann. Zhann looked around at the darkness surrounding Aeryn.
Zhann: This is what you call rest?
Aeryn: I was born into a world of darkness and fear may be that is where I am destined to spend eternity. John was my light and now he is gone.
Zhann: The light you seek is inside of you. You must find the strength to live.
Aeryn: Why?
Zhann: For him.
Aeryn: John is gone.
Zhann: It is not John that I speak of. It is him.
Zhann closed her eyes. Aeryn stepped further into the light. Suddenly there was the sound of rapid beating. Zhann smiled and opened her eyes.
Zhann: He is who I speak of.
Aeryn: Who is it?
Zhann: Your son. His heartbeat.
Her eyes opened and smiled at Aeryn.
Zhann: Would you silence such an incredible sound to remain in this dark place?
Aeryn: My son?
Aeryn laid her hand on her stomach. Her eyes shined with unshed tears. She looked up at Zhann.
Zhann: Leave this place.
Aeryn: How?
Zhann: Remember love. Rejoice in it. Celebrate it. Let go of the pain. It is time to forgive yourself.
Aeryn closed her eyes when Zhann reached out to touch her face. She felt warmth caress her. Her hands were still resting on her stomach as the sound of her unborn child echoed in her ears.
****** John sat with Aeryn for arns talking to her about everything. He spoke of the first time they met and all their adventures leading them to this point. Some of the stories he conveyed did not seem like memories of his own but some how they were. He did not know how he knew them they were just there.
His voice was hoarse from speaking. Eventually his own exhaustion caught up to him. Chiana convinced him to go to his chambers and have a rest. He agreed as long as she stayed with Aeryn while he was gone.
John reluctantly left the med chamber.
John stood in the med chamber staring at Aeryn. She was so still. She had electrodes on her head monitoring her brain activity. Dargo, Chiana, and Rygel were in the background. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it softly. He looked over his shoulder at them. Noranti was standing across the med bay working with some herbs.
John: (his voice was eerily calm) Somebody talk to me.
Dargo: She watched you disappear through the wormhole. She watched you die, so we thought. It was more than she could handle.
John: Aeryn is a lot of things but weak is not one of them.
Chiana walked over to the other side of the table and laid her hand on Aeryn.
Chiana: She went farbot after you disappeared. She forced Sikozu and even Scorpius to go over and over the notes in your notebook to try to figure out when the wormhole would open again so that she could follow you in.
Rygel: She thought it was the false Earth scenario happening all over again.
Chiana: Of course they could not figure out the missing equation.
Rygel: She kept expecting you to come back or for us to be able to follow you.
Dargo: She would spend arns flying around in her prowler trying to create the same conditions you created that time on Dam ba da thinking that if she could then may be the wormhole would come. She nearly killed herself several times. It got to the point where we had to incapacitate her prowler and your module. The pods could not generate the speed she needed.
John turned back to Aeryn.
Chiana: For monens she would not let us leave that area of tormented space. She kept thinking that you would find your way back and that you would need us to be there when you did.
Rygel: She would not even entertain the possibility that you were gone for good.
John: How did she end up a poster child for catatonia?
Everyone looked toward Dargo.
Dargo: I made a decision. As Captain of Moya, I had to think about the entire crew.
John: What did you do to her?
Noranti: I gave her a mixture that helped clear her mind of all thoughts.
John: Like the stuff you gave me?
Noranti: Similar but she needed something much more potent. Something that would work for longer periods of time.
He looked at Dargo.
John: (anger rising in his voice) Have you lost your mind? You were giving me that long speech about taking anything that Granny gave me and you turn around and use something even stronger on Aeryn.
Dargo: It was getting difficult to control her behavior. We could not watch over her every microt.
Sikozu: She was being tortured mentally and torturing herself physically.
John stared at Noranti.
John: I am back now so wake her up.
Chiana: That is the problem.
John: What is?
Rygel: Noranti stopped giving her the herbs several weeknens ago and we have not been able to revive her.
John reached over the table and grabbed Noranti.
John: What the hell did you do to her?
Noranti: Just wanted to help like I helped you.
John: This is nothing like me. Look at her. She is comatose.
Dargo pulled John off of Noranti.
Dargo: We have done everything we can to revive her. Nothing works.
John forcibly pulled away from Dargo.
John: What do you think happens when you strip a person of their consciousness? Of their ability to think and reason, what did you expect would be left for her to cling to? What kind of reality could she have with no ability to think or reason?
Chiana: We just wanted to stop her pain, John. No one wanted this to happen.
John looked at Noranti.
John: What do we do now?
Noranti: Aeryn left because she could not handle what she witnessed. The death of the man she loved.
Rygel: For the second time.
Noranti: May be you are the only one who can bring her back.
John: I will do anything. What can I do?
Noranti: We must stimulate her subconscious to force her out from where she has gone. We must make her remember everything, the glory as well as the pain.
John: How? I thought your herbs took that ability away from her?
Noranti: Once the drug has worked itself out of her system, everything should return.
Chiana: Should? You said it would definitely return once we cleansed her system.
Noranti: The mind is a tricky thing. I do not know what will happen. She has gone deeper than anyone I have ever dealt with before.
John pulled up the chair and sat beside the table. He reached up and touched her hair.
Dargo: John, we will all take turns sitting with her, talking with her and trying to get her back.
John looked up at Dargo with a cold look in his eyes.
John: I think you have done enough Captain. You worry about Moya. I will take care of Aeryn.
Chiana: You can not think that any of us wanted this to happen.
John: I do not know what I think, Chi. What I know is that Aeryn has disappeared somewhere inside herself and I do not know if I can get her back.
Rygel: Like she did on Valldon.
Crichton looked at Rygel.
John: She found her way back from that. She can from this too.
He leaned over her.
John: Aeryn?
There was no response.
John: Baby. It is John. I am here. I came back.
Dargo laid his hand on his shoulder.
Dargo: We have tried everything. We have not been able to reach her.
John: I will talk to her until she hears me.
******
Aeryn was sitting curled up in a ball in a cold, dark room. Her head was leaning against the wall and her eyes were closed. Around her there were distorted sounds that echoed in her ears like tortured screams. Suddenly there was a warm light touching her face. She opened her eyes slowly terrified to see but afraid to look away. The light was very bright. She lifted her hand to shield her eyes.
Zhann: Aeryn.
Aeryn sat up slowly.
Aeryn: Zhann?
Zhann: You have been here long enough surrounded by this darkness. It is time to let the light back in.
The walls around Aeryn became illuminated with images of John. She stood up. She turned in a slow 360 looking at them all. Some made her smile, even laugh, and some made her sad.
Zhann: (speaking close to her ear) It is time for you to go back and claim your life.
Aeryn: How are you here? I do not understand.
Zhann: When I gave you my spiritual energy, I gave you a part of myself. I reside in a small part of your subconscious. I could feel you slipping away. I could not let you do that. You have to go back.
Aeryn: I can not. I do not know how to live without John. I have tried and failed. I prefer to stay here.
Zhann: Surrounded by hopelessness and despair? Is this what you intend to do with the gift I gave you?
Aeryn: I told you it was a bad trade. Your health for mine. You should have just let me stay dead at least John would still be alive.
Zhann: You are not responsible for either of them. We are born with a destiny Aeryn. We do not control our own much less the people we love.
Aeryn: I am so tired of feeling this pain. I just want to rest.
The images of John disappeared. Aeryn looked at Zhann. Zhann looked around at the darkness surrounding Aeryn.
Zhann: This is what you call rest?
Aeryn: I was born into a world of darkness and fear may be that is where I am destined to spend eternity. John was my light and now he is gone.
Zhann: The light you seek is inside of you. You must find the strength to live.
Aeryn: Why?
Zhann: For him.
Aeryn: John is gone.
Zhann: It is not John that I speak of. It is him.
Zhann closed her eyes. Aeryn stepped further into the light. Suddenly there was the sound of rapid beating. Zhann smiled and opened her eyes.
Zhann: He is who I speak of.
Aeryn: Who is it?
Zhann: Your son. His heartbeat.
Her eyes opened and smiled at Aeryn.
Zhann: Would you silence such an incredible sound to remain in this dark place?
Aeryn: My son?
Aeryn laid her hand on her stomach. Her eyes shined with unshed tears. She looked up at Zhann.
Zhann: Leave this place.
Aeryn: How?
Zhann: Remember love. Rejoice in it. Celebrate it. Let go of the pain. It is time to forgive yourself.
Aeryn closed her eyes when Zhann reached out to touch her face. She felt warmth caress her. Her hands were still resting on her stomach as the sound of her unborn child echoed in her ears.
****** John sat with Aeryn for arns talking to her about everything. He spoke of the first time they met and all their adventures leading them to this point. Some of the stories he conveyed did not seem like memories of his own but some how they were. He did not know how he knew them they were just there.
His voice was hoarse from speaking. Eventually his own exhaustion caught up to him. Chiana convinced him to go to his chambers and have a rest. He agreed as long as she stayed with Aeryn while he was gone.
John reluctantly left the med chamber.