A Fanfiction by Eimaan
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR – except this plot, of course!
Chapter twenty-seven: When Leaving A World Behind
Author's Notes:
Hello there! Let me assure you this is not going to be a boringly long A/N that take's up half of the chapter. Sorry for what happened in the last chapter but what else could I do? I couldn't control my fingers, they were hacking the keys off my keyboard!
Okay, here's the next chapter and I've noticed myself that it's very straightforward and simple. I was true to my promise about updating so I really hope that you love it.
About the reviewers, I think it would be better that some people, I don't want to name any – cough*Munku*cough – should ask questions or make long comments over email. Just kidding about that Munku. Hehe. Maybe I can let you off, you being official Fic Guardian and Review Counter as I've noticed. Thanks.
I want to thanks the reviewers for reviewing chapter 26…thanks a LOT:
Genesis, Julia2CJ, Sakura, Max, Pudadingding, KamiPotter, Sierra*Sitruc, Goggle Boy, Munku, Ryuko Dragonhalf, Agawa Adiddle, Nimbuschik, Varity, Sereda, Leigh, Krista of StarTress and Oak.
I simply LOVE all the reviews you wrote to me and maybe you don't know, I love reviews full of random babbling and humor – things reviewers usually apologize for. Hehe.
Anyways, before this gets long, I'll leave you with the amazing world of (Fanfiction or not) Harry Potter!
* * * * *
Harry returned to Dumbledore's office to find it empty again. Then, he noticed it wasn't completely deserted. Someone with red hair sat on a chair beside the Headmaster's desk.
'Harry,' said Bill, looking up as Harry came in. His face was tired-looking and his eyes seemed red. He stood up as Harry cautiously stepped forward.
'Hello,' he said, after a moment. There was an awkward silence and Bill looked away.
'Where's Dumbledore?' asked Harry, wanting to get away somehow. He felt as if Bill didn't want to have anything to do with him – that he was clearly blaming Harry for Ginny's current state. Harry believed, too, that he was responsible for that but to him, suddenly, Bill's attitude was quite unnerving – almost frightening. It made him more determined to set things right.
'I have to see him,' Harry said, with increased sureness.
'He's with Dad,' said Bill, making towards the adjoining chamber, 'I'll get him.'
Harry waited, his fists clenched in his coat pockets. His knuckles were going white but he knew had to do what he had to. He had saved Ginny once. He would do it again.
'Harry,' said Dumbledore, his voice betraying a degree of surprise. He must have guessed why Harry was back and perhaps he feared what Harry had to say.
Harry turned to Professor Dumbledore. He could think of only one thing.
'Professor, I'll do it – I –'
'Do what?' Dumbledore interrupted, his voice very serious and controlled. But Harry was determined.
'The Charmzirius. We can still try – we could get Ginny back. I –'
'Harry,' Dumbledore interrupted again, this time more sharply, 'we discussed this only a short while ago. Harry, you are no longer an eleven-year-old boy who first came to Hogwarts. You're approaching your sixteenth birthday and I would expect much more sense from you.'
Harry was quite surprised. He had never heard the Headmaster talk to him that way before. Dumbledore looked away.
'Harry, you are the future of the wizarding communities.'
He turned to Harry again and looked directly into his eyes.
'I am sure you always knew there would be a time that you would be the most instrumental in the fight against Voldemort. Harry, please,' said Dumbledore and his tone softened a bit, 'you have to accept the fact that this is not possible – that your sacrificing your life will not bring back Ginny.'
Something clicked in Harry's mind.
'So that's why I shouldn't try and save Ginny?' he said, quite fiercely but it was his anger speaking, not his heart, in a tone that he would never, under normal circumstances use with the Headmaster, ever.
'I shouldn't try to because if I'm gone, there would be no Harry Potter to save the wizarding world, right?'
Professor Dumbledore was silent but not because he couldn't answer Harry's comment. He was regarding Harry thoughtfully –as if sizing him up, peering right through him.
'We took a chance in my second year and Ginny lived. But now, doesn't anybody care about her?'
'We do.'
Professor Dumbledore was still gazing at Harry intently but now there was an almost pleading tone in his voice.
'Harry, I feel exactly the same way. And perhaps, I do not blame you for saying what you said. I regard every student as equal and Ginny Weasley is no different. By all means, I want to go ahead and save her by any means possible – if I could.'
Professor Dumbledore finally looked away.
'But I cannot.' There was a clear, sad tone in his voice. 'It is because I have no right to go ahead and tell you to kill yourself for the sake of Ginny – even if there is the slightest chance there is that she may be alive. I can't tell you to that. And I have no other alternative. I know no other way to save her. And every moment, she sinks into death. It could be the next moment, tomorrow or a week from now. Nothing at all is certain. And I will never be able to forgive myself if we ended up without the both of you – you and Ginny.'
Harry's anger had simmered down. He took out the Charmzirius from his cloak pocket. It was still freezing cold and Harry quickly put it on Dumbledore's desk.
'It's still cold, Professor. Even if those are Voldemort's feelings reflected in that Charmzirius, we know he's still there.'
Professor Dumbledore picked up the Charmzirius. Encouraged, Harry continued.
'And if he's still there, Ginny must be alive!'
Professor Dumbledore was looking at Harry now, his eyes seeming very sad.
'But Harry, you do not know what you are getting yourself into. If you proceed, you will die.'
Harry looked away. Maybe he wouldn't…maybe there was a fault in Badb's theory. But that familiar sense of loneliness came over him in a flash. He was already alone in the world and the cause of so many problems. He'd better die.
'Professor, the day after the attack at Hogsmeade, in the morning, you told us at breakfast that in the face of danger, we should help others in whatever way we can and not hesitate in doing so.'
Harry's voice was determined now. Dumbledore turned to him.
'And I want to do that,' said Harry, tears lining his eyes, 'like my mum did for me. She died saving me. This is the only thing that I think I can do to help Ginny. And… and I want to.'
A tear coursed down Harry's cheek but he looked at Dumbledore determinedly, standing straight and confident. There was silence wherein Dumbledore regarded the determined youth before him. Then, he let out a barely audible sigh before stepping forward and embracing Harry like an equal. He held him for a moment, completely silent and when he stepped back, Harry could see tears lining Dumbledore's eyes too. It was the first time he had seen Dumbledore show such emotion.
'Harry,' said Dumbledore, his voice slightly shaking, 'I'm very proud of you. And I am sure that your parents are even more proud of you. I can offer you no higher praise than that.'
Those words mean a lot to Harry and he appreciated them, becoming more confident.
'I assure you,' said Dumbledore, his voice heavy, 'no one will know of this except I.'
Harry nodded and a great worry evaporated from him. He wanted to say something more but he couldn't find the right words for that. He opened his mouth to speak but Dumbledore spoke first.
'Harry,' he said, 'there're somethings…that were given in my possession after your parents died so that I could give them to you when you were older.'
Saying so, Dumbledore opened his palm, muttering something under his breath and with a small flash of light, something appeared in the middle of it. Dumbledore showed Harry two rings, one gold and the other silver and Harry took them from him, surprised.
'My parents' -?' he asked with amazement. Dumbledore nodded.
'Your parents' wedding rings. The golden one was your mother's. I was to give you these when you left Hogwarts finally but…' Professor Dumbledore trailed away, not finding words to continue but Harry understood. Dumbledore looked up at him, his expression serious.
'Harry,' he said firmly, 'I have to tell you one thing. We are still not sure how you'll be able to save Ginny but – there is one thing you have to remember. If Ginny cannot make it, if it's too late for her, I want you to come back. Immediately. Please, I ask you not to risk your life for something that's already been decided. Do you understand me?'
Dumbledore's voice was shaking now with intense emotion. Harry didn't know what to think of that instruction but he nodded.
'I – I will have to tell the Weasleys what you're about to do of course,' said Dumbledore. 'What was discussed between us will remain a secret forever,' he added quickly. Harry nodded quietly.
'Professor, I – I want to write to – I –' said Harry, a strange new feeling rising in him.
'I understand,' said Dumbledore turning away. 'I think Ron and Hermione have been seeking you too.'
'Professor – when should we – I mean, Ginny's getting worse every second,' said Harry, meaningfully. Professor Dumbledore's back was now turned to Harry.
'I will ask you to come around midnight, Harry. Let me talk to Arthur and Molly right now. You can go.'
Harry nodded at Dumbledore's back, his parents' wedding rings held clutched beneath his fingers and left.
Dumbledore wiped his eyes when Harry had gone.
'James would have done the same for Lily and I wouldn't have been able to stop him either,' he said to himself, his voice tinged with sadness and resignation.
* * * * *
Harry went to his dormitory directly, ignoring the anxious stares he got from people in the Common room. His mind was in constant thought. Now that he knew what he had to do, the importance and significance of what he was about to do, a strange feeling overtook him. He wasn't frightened by the prospect that lay before him and the risk to his own life but all the people he loved. Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Mr and Mrs. Weasley…
To know that he was risking, in a few hours, not ever seeing any of them again made him feel as if his chest was shrinking. It hurt but when he thought of Ginny and how many people loved her so much, how he himself loved her, his troubled thoughts found direction and came to a conclusion.
He had to. For her.
Lying on his bed, Harry thought of what to write to Sirius. Sirius meant so much to him that he couldn't just forget him and go ahead with his task. He had to write to his Godfather. What exactly he was going to write made Harry nervous and apprehensive.
Dear Sirius, he began and wondered, unintentionally, if it was the last time he was ever going to write that…the last time he was going to write to Sirius. But he pushed those thoughts out of his mind, thinking of Ginny.
If you get this letter, I won't probably be here anymore, I guess. I don't know what exactly I'm going ahead with but I am and Professor Dumbledore knows. Ginny's not okay and I've got to do something – something that only Dumbledore will know about in detail, I guess.
If you get this letter, ask Dumbledore. And don't worry.
I want you to know that you can keep Hedwig and that Ron can have the Firebolt you gave me. Force him to have it if he shies away. Give all of my books to Hermione, even though I think she already has all of the ones that I do. Please keep my father's Invisibility Cloak too and the Marauder's Map. If you don't need the Map, give it to Fred and George, even though they've learned it all by heart anyways. If anything's left in my trunk at Hogwarts, please give them to Ron. I can't think of much more right now.
Harry paused, tears brimming his eyes.
If Ginny's there, tell her that I'll always love her wherever I am.And, Professor Dumbledore gave me Mum and Dad's wedding bands. Please can you keep them with you? When, when Ron and Hermione get married, as I know they will, give them to them, please. I've kept the
Take care of yourself. I know you won't like this but I think it had to be this way. I don't see any other way right now. Forgive me, if you think I'm wrong.
Love,
Harry.
Harry put the quill down. He could think of a thousand more things he wanted to say to Sirius but he had no idea how to put them down on paper and he didn't think he'd be able to keep himself calm and controlled if he went ahead and did that. He folded the parchment, put it in an envelope and sealed it.
He looked around his dormitory, not thinking of anything in particular. It was as if a time had come when he just wanted to watch everything around him, trying to capture the image in his mind. He walked over to the large window and looked out at the lake. He took his Invisibility cloak out once and felt it's silvery material flow between in his fingers. Then, he went downstairs, glancing at the warm Common room but when people looked at him pointedly, he went out of the Portrait.
He couldn't think of anything else to do so he decided to go to the Owlery. Hedwig flew down to him as soon as he entered the Owlery and Harry had the feeling that from the way Hedwig was staring at him and being unusually calm, she knew what he was about to do. She didn't click her beak or ruffle her feathers but just watched him through clear eyes. Harry smiled at her, stroking her feathers. He wanted to say, 'If I'm not back again, go to Sirius.' But he couldn't bring himself to. It sounded stupid and besides, he felt Hedwig already knew. He dug into his cloak pocket for any crackers he could find for Hedwig and he offered her a small piece. But she refused it and turned her head away. Harry sighed and sat down on the pile of hay in the center of the large room, stroking Hedwig's silky, snowy feathers.
He heard footsteps and looked up to see the tall form of Ron standing before him.
'Harry,' said Ron in a strange croaky voice. Harry got to his feet but before he could register the serious expression on Ron's face or say anything, Ron had grabbed him in a hug. There wasn't any need for words between the two of them and after a while Ron released his grip on Harry. Harry saw tears pouring down Ron's face but then, he realized, he was crying too.
Ron wiped his tears away.
'H-Harry,' he said, his voice shaking, 'Dumbledore said…he said you – I –'
Harry suddenly wondered if Dumbledore had disclosed everything to the Weasleys.
'…what you're doing for Ginny – I –'
'Ron…' said Harry unsurely but Ron spoke first.
'I mean…Ginny's…I…she means a lot to me, to all of us and…'
Harry put a comforting hand on Ron's shoulder and looked into his blue eyes, trying to inject confidence into his voice when he spoke.
'Ron, Ginny's going to be alright.'
A shadow of a smile crossed Ron's face and he nodded slightly.
'Thanks, Harry and you're going to be okay too,' he said, sincerely and embraced him again like a brother.
'Come on,' said Ron, appearing more relaxed, 'Hermione's been crying her eyes out for you too.'
Hermione kept sobbing on Harry's shoulder when she met him while Ron looked at her with an awkward expression on his face. She opened her mouth to say something to him but couldn't manage to.
'It's okay,' said Harry, trying to calm her down. Then, he took out his parents' rings from his pocket and showed them to Ron and Hermione.
'What do you think?' he asked them. Ron's mouth dropped in surprise.
'Don't tell me,' he said, quite hoarsely, 'you're going to marry Ginny!'
Harry, blushing furiously at the loud exclamation, shook his head quickly.
'N-no,' he said hurriedly, smiling at Ron's statement, 'they were my parents' wedding rings. Dumbledore gave them to me today.'
Hermione admired the rings while Ron let out a breath.
'And I really though there for a second you were about to marry her!' he said, chuckling, making the whole atmosphere lighter.
Harry grinned, for the first time, probably, in many days and put an arm around Ron's shoulder.
'Hey,' said Ron, much more cheerful, 'up for some Quidditch?'
'Right now?' Hermione spoke, for the first time, 'in the dark a-and –'
'Doesn't matter,' said Harry as Ron put his arm around his shoulder as well, in a friendly gesture, 'let's go.'
When Harry took out his Firebolt, he sat at the edge of his bed, admiring it from every angle as if it was the first time he was seeing it. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to see his things again, his Firebolt or play his most beloved sport Quidditch.
'What're you up to?' Ron asked, coming up from behind him with his own broom.
'Nothing,' said Harry, 'just…looking…'
'Harry,' said Ron, making Harry look up. Ron was looking at him, concern and worry etched across his face again.
'You're going to be alright…' It seemed like a plea. Harry nodded, looking away.
'You're not telling me something,' came Ron's voice, more urgent this time. Harry turned to him again.
'What makes you say that?' he said, trying to keep his voice normal. 'Ron…Ginny's going to be okay. I promise.'
Ron paused before nodding.
'Sorry…' he said momentarily, a little sheepishly and turned slightly red. Harry clapped him on the back.
'Quidditch it is, then.'
Harry and Ron played Quidditch for a very long time. Ron talked to Harry occasionally in between but Harry rarely seemed to be listening.
The familiar rush of air through his hair calmed him a bit and for a long time, he was able to forget everything and just enjoy being alive. For him, it was the most important thing just then.
~ To be continued…~
Note: No, Dumbledore did not tell the Weasleys about the "sacrificing" part involved in saving Ginny. The Weasley are just very gratefully for Harry going to try and save Ginny, and the fact that there could be a way to save Ginny after all. Next update's in about two days…bye for now!