Part 8
Aeryn went in search of Crichton. She didn't really want to, but she knew the two of them needed to talk. She thought back to the early days after she had first met Crichton. He had always wanted her to open up. He had had a hard time understanding Peacekeeper training and discipline. She found him wandering Moya's corridors aimlessly. "John?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah," he sounded tired.
"You wanted to know what happened?"
"It would be nice."
She moved into a nearby cell and sat down. He followed her. She took this as a good sign.
She took a deep breath before beginning. "After.the events on DamBaDa I was grief-stricken. I wasn't myself. I listened to Stark and went down to Valldon. I was still in denial about what had happened. I finally came to grips with what had happened and returned to Talyn to finish my grieving. I wanted to be alone for most of the next weeken. Eventually, I knew I needed to be near someone. I had grown tired of being alone. I knew that I could not talk to Rygel. While he is not as self-centered as he used to be, he still isn't someone I would confide in.
"As hard as it is for you to believe, Crais is not the same man he was when you first met him. Raising Talyn has helped him grow, become a better person. The Crichton on Talyn learned that.
"I went to him to talk. To just find someone I could express my feelings to. He listened to me and didn't judge me. He held me when I needed it." She looked up at him, "It felt good to be held again. I felt that I was no longer alone."
"And he took advantage of you?" he asked angrily.
"No. It wasn't like that. At the time it was something we both wanted. It was recreation. There was no emotional attachment."
Crichton sounded skeptical, "Right. And it was just that once?" She nodded. "And you couldn't tell me this before?"
"It was just that once. I hadn't expected anything to come from it."
"And now what? I'm sure that since it's his kid he'll want to be there."
"He does."
"Do you love him?"
"Not like that. He's a friend. Nothing more."
"What do you plan to do?"
"I haven't made any plans yet. I wanted to talk to you first."
"What, you want my approval to run off with him? Go ahead. I don't care." hostility dripped from his voice.
She reached over to put her hand on his knee, "John."
He stood up and shook is finger at her, "No, you lost that right. I don't know how you can claim to love me and have done that."
"I was in pain. I was alone. It felt like part of me had died. I needed to feel alive," she pleaded.
"Well, obviously it worked. I don't think you have to worry about being alone anymore. You'll always have *his* child. Have a good life." He walked out. Perhaps out of her life forever. She cried for a long time. She didn't know how it could have gone worse.
Pilot had called Aeryn to his den. Moya was concerned about Talyn. The final phase of the repairs was only supposed to take three arns. Talyn had been unconscious for over five. Neither Crais nor Sikozu was responding to their comms. Pilot looked up when Aeryn entered. He waited for her to come up to the console, "Aeryn, Moya and I are concerned about Talyn. We have not been able to receive a status report and repairs should have been completed over two arns ago."
"I'm sure they are just being careful, Pilot. It was a very delicate operation."
"I realize that, but Moya and I would like you to go over and make sure everything is all right."
Aeryn smiled and placed a hand on one of Pilot's claws. "Of course, Pilot. I'll let you know how it's going when I get there."
When Aeryn arrived on Talyn she had to use the airlock to access the maintenance bay. Even the automatic access system had been disabled. She had no idea how long it would take for her to find them. She decided to begin her search in the neural cluster. When she got there she saw Crais and Sikozu lying unconscious on the deck. She ran to go find a scanner before she went into the cluster. When she returned she discovered there was some sort of anesthetic in the air. She was glad she had kept her helmet with her. She put on her helmet and went in to retrieve Crais and Sikozu. Aeryn pulled Crais a good distance down the corridor before going back for Sikozu. She had no idea how long it would take for the effects to wear off.
She carried Crais back to his quarters and lay him down on his bed. She made sure he was comfortable before going back for Sikozu. As she walked back to Crais' quarters, she commed Pilot, "Pilot, I found them passed out in the neural cluster. Some sort of anesthetic has been released. I'm going to try to revive Crais and see if I can find out what has happened."
~Thank you for your report, Aeryn. We look forward to your update.~
Aeryn ran the scanner over Crais again and noticed that the level of the anesthetic was decreasing. All she could do was wait. Without Talyn's databases she didn't dare attempt any sort of treatment. While waiting for Crais to regain consciousness, she went to go check on Sikozu. The anesthetic levels were also dropping in her bloodstream, but not as quickly as Crais'. It probably had something to do with her lower metabolism. After about a quarter of an arn Crais began to come around.
He opened his eyes and attempted to focus on anything. The world around him was fuzzy. While he was waiting for his eyes to focus he saw a shape lean over him. He asked weakly, "Where am I?"
"In your quarters onboard Talyn. Do you remember what happened?"
Aeryn? What was she doing here? "Aeryn?"
"Yes, Crais. It's me. Do you remember what happened?" she asked gently. She handed him a glass of water, which he eagerly accepted.
"Sikozu?"
"I rescued her as well. She is recovering more slowly due to her metabolism."
Crais wrinkled his brow in concentration, "We were working in the neural cluster on the final phase of the repairs. We were nearly complete. Somehow something was released. I'm not sure what. I think now that it might have been fallam. I don't know how it would have been released into the neural cluster, though."
"Perhaps it was an involuntary reaction to the pain you were causing?"
"There should have been no pain. We had numbed the area we were working on."
"Do you remember if you finished?"
Crais thought hard. "I.can't remember." He tried to stand. He's knees were a little weak and he leaned on Aeryn for support. "I will need to check." The more he moved the steadier he became. He moved to the storage locker and grabbed a breathing mask.
Aeryn came over and grabbed one for herself, "I'm coming with you."
Crais inquisitively at her, "Are you sure that is wise?"
"Why is it that everyone treats me as an invalid now that I am pregnant?" she asked defensively.
"I apologize if I am being overprotective. I just don't want any harm to come to you or our child. I will admit I have little knowledge about pregnancy and what could be harmful to the baby."
"Well, as long as I have the breather on, there will be no harm." The two of them proceeded to the neural cluster. Once they were there Crais was able to quickly retrace his steps. He determined that they had almost completed the repairs. He and Aeryn were able to complete the repairs within a quarter arn. When they finished they stopped by to check on Sikozu as the headed to command. She was still unconscious, but the fallam levels were still dropping. As soon as they arrived in command Crais went to the console to input the sequence that would revive Talyn. Before he keyed the last command he turned to Aeryn. She nodded her head. He closed his eyes so as to reduce the amount of input Talyn was receiving and keyed the final command.
The lights on the deck and ceiling slowly came to life. Aeryn and Crais were both holding their breath. Crais reached out to Talyn, looking for his friend. A smile crept across his face. "He is here. He is still groggy and feeling a some pain from our repairs, but he is here." Relief crossed Aeryn's face. She watched Crais intently to see what else he had to say. His eyes were still closed and a look of concentration on his face. After what Aeryn thought was an eternity he opened his eyes, "I can find no sign of the instability. I believe he is cured."
Aeryn crossed command and embraced Crais, "That's wonderful news."
Sikozu witnessed this from outside the door. She felt a tinge of jealousy. That was illogical. What could he possibly offer her? She strode into command, "It seems you were wise to follow my plan."
Crais and Aeryn released each other. Crais turned and addressed Sikozu, "Talyn and I thank you for your assistance. I would not have been able to complete repairs without it."
Sikozu moved over to the console to check the readings. On her way past Crais, she ran her hand along the back of his broad shoulders, watching Aeryn out of the corner of her eye. She saw Aeryn stiffen. Sikozu wondered what their relationship was. She had assumed Aeryn and Crichton would eventually get back together.
Crais moved over to the comms panel, "Pilot, I would like to inform you that the repairs appear to be successful. Talyn is suffering some grogginess and weakness from the treatment and is unable to communicate with Moya. I expect him to regain enough strength to establish a link with her within the arn."
~Thank you, Captain. Moya and I are most pleased to hear the prognosis is good. She looks forward to reestablishing a link with him.~
Sikozu's hands danced across the console. "Everything appears to be within predicted parameters," she sounded extraordinarily pleased with herself. "I knew it would work."
Crais stepped up behind her and checked the readouts with her, "Yes, *we* did it."
Suddenly, Talyn convulsed. Crais grabbed at the console and Sikozu fell back into his chest before she could regain her footing. All three of them clustered around the console trying to determine what was wrong. When Talyn convulsed again Sikozu grabbed at Crais for balance. He instinctively caught her. Aeryn glared at her. Crais was ignoring the two of them, trying to figure out how to help Talyn. He pointed at the display, "There. Aeryn, come with me. Sikozu, you will stay here and monitor the situation." Aeryn and Crais took off at a jog. Sikozu was left standing in command feeling a little disappointed that he had chosen Aeryn over her.
When Aeryn and Crais arrived at the affected area they began working quickly and efficiently to make repairs. There was a cross-connected wire that was causing nerve impulses to loop back and periodically overload. The result was the convulsion. It didn't take them long to isolate and properly redirect the wire. "Sikozu, we have fixed the problem. Status report."
~Everything is still within parameters. I read no other anomalies.~
Aeryn muttered, "Like that means a lot. She missed this one."
Crais looked over at Aeryn and spoke quietly, "I will be remaining here for the next few arns to ensure that Talyn is not alone while he recovers. I.he would appreciate it if you would stay."
"What about Sikozu?"
Crais leaned further forward, "He takes no comfort in her presence. I know he would find your presence.reassuring." He reached to rub her cheek.
She leaned into his hand, "I would like to be here for him."
He gently began to pull her closer. She didn't resist. They closed their eyes in anticipation of the kiss. He could feel the gentle warmth of her breath rustling his beard. Just as their lips were about to meet they heard Sikozu clearing her throat at the door. "I wanted to inform you that he is recovering more quickly than I had anticipated."
Crais calmly released Aeryn and turned his gaze to Sikozu, all trace of softness in his voice gone, "Thank you for the update. You may return to Moya now. Officer Sun and I will look after Talyn during his recovery." Sikozu opened her mouth to argue. Crais spoke in his command voice, "You may return to Moya."
By the time Sikozu was gone Aeryn was standing on the far side of the chamber. "I think we should go to command where we can monitor Talyn's progress." She then walked out the door.
Crais lowered his chin to his chest and sighed. He was not used to people sneaking up on him while he was onboard Talyn. He rose to follow Aeryn. He wondered if she had had an opportunity to talk with Crichton.
Sikozu went to the transport pod. She was trying to figure out why Crais had chosen Aeryn to remain behind. She was not a Leviathan expert. If something were wrong with Talyn, Aeryn would be able to provide little assistance. Sikozu wanted nothing more than to be able to spend more time on Talyn. She wanted to continue questioning Crais about what it was like being bonded to a Leviathan. He was experiencing sensations that were normally reserved only for Pilots. She could learn so much from him and she could teach him so much about Leviathans. She had to find a way to earn his confidence.
Aeryn nearly ran up to command. She was trying hard not to cry. She wondered what was happening to her. She felt like she wasn't in control of her emotions. They were starting to take control of her. She needed someone to turn to. Crichton wasn't there for her; he was cold and distant. He was still jealous of the other Crichton. Chiana had already proven herself untrustworthy with secrets. For not the first time, she wished she had Zhaan to talk to. The Delvian had always known how to help her, what to say. She was here because of Zhaan's desire to help her. This thought brought fresh tears to her eyes. She slapped the console. Why was she so weak? She had never been particularly close to D'Argo or Rygel. Noranti was incoherent most of the time and she didn't know Sikozu. She could have talked to Pilot, but these were emotions he was unfamiliar with. This left Crais as the only one she could talk to. He had been surprisingly sympathetic earlier. It appeared his near death experience had changed him.
Crais walked slowly to command. He assumed that since Aeryn had left so quickly, she wanted some time to herself. He stopped by the galley and prepared some tea. When he arrived in command Aeryn was standing with her back to the door. He moved next to her, "I thought you might like some tea."
She took the mug from him. "Thank you," her voice was husky.
She had her head bowed so that her hair had fallen in her face. Crais set his mug down and gently brushed her hair behind her shoulder. He placed a finger under her chin and coaxed her to look at him. He saw that her eyes were red and puffy. He asked softly, "Are you all right?"
She forced herself to look at him and hugged herself tightly. "I'm frightened," she admitted. "My life has been turned upside-down. I learned to love. I had that love ripped from me. Now I find myself faced with a shadow of that love. I have tried to accept that the two Crichton's are the same, but deep in my heart I know they aren't. We shared something special here. Something he doesn't know about." She reached down and rubbed her stomach. "Now I find myself carrying a life that has driven him further from me."
He reached down and placed his hand over hers. He whispered in her ear, "Do you regret what happened?"
"I don't regret that I went to you that night and I don't regret what happened."
"Do you not want this child?" Crais asked gently.
A look of shock crossed her face as she realized what Crais was saying. She placed her hand on his arm reassuringly, "I do want this child. If parentage would have determined how much I wanted it, I could have taken care of that on the planet. Parentage has never mattered to me."
"But you still wish that the child were his."
"I used to, but now I think that perhaps it's best if I close that part of my life. I need to move on. I don't think that he will ever be able to look at the child without thinking about you. It wouldn't be fair to our child. I want to go with you and Talyn when you leave."
"Are you sure? It might be some time before we see Moya again. Talyn and I were planning on doing some deep space exploration."
"That's all right. I think it will make it safer for the baby."
It took a few microts for what she had said to sink in, "Do you mean you had the baby released from stasis?"
She smiled softly, "I did."
Aeryn went in search of Crichton. She didn't really want to, but she knew the two of them needed to talk. She thought back to the early days after she had first met Crichton. He had always wanted her to open up. He had had a hard time understanding Peacekeeper training and discipline. She found him wandering Moya's corridors aimlessly. "John?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah," he sounded tired.
"You wanted to know what happened?"
"It would be nice."
She moved into a nearby cell and sat down. He followed her. She took this as a good sign.
She took a deep breath before beginning. "After.the events on DamBaDa I was grief-stricken. I wasn't myself. I listened to Stark and went down to Valldon. I was still in denial about what had happened. I finally came to grips with what had happened and returned to Talyn to finish my grieving. I wanted to be alone for most of the next weeken. Eventually, I knew I needed to be near someone. I had grown tired of being alone. I knew that I could not talk to Rygel. While he is not as self-centered as he used to be, he still isn't someone I would confide in.
"As hard as it is for you to believe, Crais is not the same man he was when you first met him. Raising Talyn has helped him grow, become a better person. The Crichton on Talyn learned that.
"I went to him to talk. To just find someone I could express my feelings to. He listened to me and didn't judge me. He held me when I needed it." She looked up at him, "It felt good to be held again. I felt that I was no longer alone."
"And he took advantage of you?" he asked angrily.
"No. It wasn't like that. At the time it was something we both wanted. It was recreation. There was no emotional attachment."
Crichton sounded skeptical, "Right. And it was just that once?" She nodded. "And you couldn't tell me this before?"
"It was just that once. I hadn't expected anything to come from it."
"And now what? I'm sure that since it's his kid he'll want to be there."
"He does."
"Do you love him?"
"Not like that. He's a friend. Nothing more."
"What do you plan to do?"
"I haven't made any plans yet. I wanted to talk to you first."
"What, you want my approval to run off with him? Go ahead. I don't care." hostility dripped from his voice.
She reached over to put her hand on his knee, "John."
He stood up and shook is finger at her, "No, you lost that right. I don't know how you can claim to love me and have done that."
"I was in pain. I was alone. It felt like part of me had died. I needed to feel alive," she pleaded.
"Well, obviously it worked. I don't think you have to worry about being alone anymore. You'll always have *his* child. Have a good life." He walked out. Perhaps out of her life forever. She cried for a long time. She didn't know how it could have gone worse.
Pilot had called Aeryn to his den. Moya was concerned about Talyn. The final phase of the repairs was only supposed to take three arns. Talyn had been unconscious for over five. Neither Crais nor Sikozu was responding to their comms. Pilot looked up when Aeryn entered. He waited for her to come up to the console, "Aeryn, Moya and I are concerned about Talyn. We have not been able to receive a status report and repairs should have been completed over two arns ago."
"I'm sure they are just being careful, Pilot. It was a very delicate operation."
"I realize that, but Moya and I would like you to go over and make sure everything is all right."
Aeryn smiled and placed a hand on one of Pilot's claws. "Of course, Pilot. I'll let you know how it's going when I get there."
When Aeryn arrived on Talyn she had to use the airlock to access the maintenance bay. Even the automatic access system had been disabled. She had no idea how long it would take for her to find them. She decided to begin her search in the neural cluster. When she got there she saw Crais and Sikozu lying unconscious on the deck. She ran to go find a scanner before she went into the cluster. When she returned she discovered there was some sort of anesthetic in the air. She was glad she had kept her helmet with her. She put on her helmet and went in to retrieve Crais and Sikozu. Aeryn pulled Crais a good distance down the corridor before going back for Sikozu. She had no idea how long it would take for the effects to wear off.
She carried Crais back to his quarters and lay him down on his bed. She made sure he was comfortable before going back for Sikozu. As she walked back to Crais' quarters, she commed Pilot, "Pilot, I found them passed out in the neural cluster. Some sort of anesthetic has been released. I'm going to try to revive Crais and see if I can find out what has happened."
~Thank you for your report, Aeryn. We look forward to your update.~
Aeryn ran the scanner over Crais again and noticed that the level of the anesthetic was decreasing. All she could do was wait. Without Talyn's databases she didn't dare attempt any sort of treatment. While waiting for Crais to regain consciousness, she went to go check on Sikozu. The anesthetic levels were also dropping in her bloodstream, but not as quickly as Crais'. It probably had something to do with her lower metabolism. After about a quarter of an arn Crais began to come around.
He opened his eyes and attempted to focus on anything. The world around him was fuzzy. While he was waiting for his eyes to focus he saw a shape lean over him. He asked weakly, "Where am I?"
"In your quarters onboard Talyn. Do you remember what happened?"
Aeryn? What was she doing here? "Aeryn?"
"Yes, Crais. It's me. Do you remember what happened?" she asked gently. She handed him a glass of water, which he eagerly accepted.
"Sikozu?"
"I rescued her as well. She is recovering more slowly due to her metabolism."
Crais wrinkled his brow in concentration, "We were working in the neural cluster on the final phase of the repairs. We were nearly complete. Somehow something was released. I'm not sure what. I think now that it might have been fallam. I don't know how it would have been released into the neural cluster, though."
"Perhaps it was an involuntary reaction to the pain you were causing?"
"There should have been no pain. We had numbed the area we were working on."
"Do you remember if you finished?"
Crais thought hard. "I.can't remember." He tried to stand. He's knees were a little weak and he leaned on Aeryn for support. "I will need to check." The more he moved the steadier he became. He moved to the storage locker and grabbed a breathing mask.
Aeryn came over and grabbed one for herself, "I'm coming with you."
Crais inquisitively at her, "Are you sure that is wise?"
"Why is it that everyone treats me as an invalid now that I am pregnant?" she asked defensively.
"I apologize if I am being overprotective. I just don't want any harm to come to you or our child. I will admit I have little knowledge about pregnancy and what could be harmful to the baby."
"Well, as long as I have the breather on, there will be no harm." The two of them proceeded to the neural cluster. Once they were there Crais was able to quickly retrace his steps. He determined that they had almost completed the repairs. He and Aeryn were able to complete the repairs within a quarter arn. When they finished they stopped by to check on Sikozu as the headed to command. She was still unconscious, but the fallam levels were still dropping. As soon as they arrived in command Crais went to the console to input the sequence that would revive Talyn. Before he keyed the last command he turned to Aeryn. She nodded her head. He closed his eyes so as to reduce the amount of input Talyn was receiving and keyed the final command.
The lights on the deck and ceiling slowly came to life. Aeryn and Crais were both holding their breath. Crais reached out to Talyn, looking for his friend. A smile crept across his face. "He is here. He is still groggy and feeling a some pain from our repairs, but he is here." Relief crossed Aeryn's face. She watched Crais intently to see what else he had to say. His eyes were still closed and a look of concentration on his face. After what Aeryn thought was an eternity he opened his eyes, "I can find no sign of the instability. I believe he is cured."
Aeryn crossed command and embraced Crais, "That's wonderful news."
Sikozu witnessed this from outside the door. She felt a tinge of jealousy. That was illogical. What could he possibly offer her? She strode into command, "It seems you were wise to follow my plan."
Crais and Aeryn released each other. Crais turned and addressed Sikozu, "Talyn and I thank you for your assistance. I would not have been able to complete repairs without it."
Sikozu moved over to the console to check the readings. On her way past Crais, she ran her hand along the back of his broad shoulders, watching Aeryn out of the corner of her eye. She saw Aeryn stiffen. Sikozu wondered what their relationship was. She had assumed Aeryn and Crichton would eventually get back together.
Crais moved over to the comms panel, "Pilot, I would like to inform you that the repairs appear to be successful. Talyn is suffering some grogginess and weakness from the treatment and is unable to communicate with Moya. I expect him to regain enough strength to establish a link with her within the arn."
~Thank you, Captain. Moya and I are most pleased to hear the prognosis is good. She looks forward to reestablishing a link with him.~
Sikozu's hands danced across the console. "Everything appears to be within predicted parameters," she sounded extraordinarily pleased with herself. "I knew it would work."
Crais stepped up behind her and checked the readouts with her, "Yes, *we* did it."
Suddenly, Talyn convulsed. Crais grabbed at the console and Sikozu fell back into his chest before she could regain her footing. All three of them clustered around the console trying to determine what was wrong. When Talyn convulsed again Sikozu grabbed at Crais for balance. He instinctively caught her. Aeryn glared at her. Crais was ignoring the two of them, trying to figure out how to help Talyn. He pointed at the display, "There. Aeryn, come with me. Sikozu, you will stay here and monitor the situation." Aeryn and Crais took off at a jog. Sikozu was left standing in command feeling a little disappointed that he had chosen Aeryn over her.
When Aeryn and Crais arrived at the affected area they began working quickly and efficiently to make repairs. There was a cross-connected wire that was causing nerve impulses to loop back and periodically overload. The result was the convulsion. It didn't take them long to isolate and properly redirect the wire. "Sikozu, we have fixed the problem. Status report."
~Everything is still within parameters. I read no other anomalies.~
Aeryn muttered, "Like that means a lot. She missed this one."
Crais looked over at Aeryn and spoke quietly, "I will be remaining here for the next few arns to ensure that Talyn is not alone while he recovers. I.he would appreciate it if you would stay."
"What about Sikozu?"
Crais leaned further forward, "He takes no comfort in her presence. I know he would find your presence.reassuring." He reached to rub her cheek.
She leaned into his hand, "I would like to be here for him."
He gently began to pull her closer. She didn't resist. They closed their eyes in anticipation of the kiss. He could feel the gentle warmth of her breath rustling his beard. Just as their lips were about to meet they heard Sikozu clearing her throat at the door. "I wanted to inform you that he is recovering more quickly than I had anticipated."
Crais calmly released Aeryn and turned his gaze to Sikozu, all trace of softness in his voice gone, "Thank you for the update. You may return to Moya now. Officer Sun and I will look after Talyn during his recovery." Sikozu opened her mouth to argue. Crais spoke in his command voice, "You may return to Moya."
By the time Sikozu was gone Aeryn was standing on the far side of the chamber. "I think we should go to command where we can monitor Talyn's progress." She then walked out the door.
Crais lowered his chin to his chest and sighed. He was not used to people sneaking up on him while he was onboard Talyn. He rose to follow Aeryn. He wondered if she had had an opportunity to talk with Crichton.
Sikozu went to the transport pod. She was trying to figure out why Crais had chosen Aeryn to remain behind. She was not a Leviathan expert. If something were wrong with Talyn, Aeryn would be able to provide little assistance. Sikozu wanted nothing more than to be able to spend more time on Talyn. She wanted to continue questioning Crais about what it was like being bonded to a Leviathan. He was experiencing sensations that were normally reserved only for Pilots. She could learn so much from him and she could teach him so much about Leviathans. She had to find a way to earn his confidence.
Aeryn nearly ran up to command. She was trying hard not to cry. She wondered what was happening to her. She felt like she wasn't in control of her emotions. They were starting to take control of her. She needed someone to turn to. Crichton wasn't there for her; he was cold and distant. He was still jealous of the other Crichton. Chiana had already proven herself untrustworthy with secrets. For not the first time, she wished she had Zhaan to talk to. The Delvian had always known how to help her, what to say. She was here because of Zhaan's desire to help her. This thought brought fresh tears to her eyes. She slapped the console. Why was she so weak? She had never been particularly close to D'Argo or Rygel. Noranti was incoherent most of the time and she didn't know Sikozu. She could have talked to Pilot, but these were emotions he was unfamiliar with. This left Crais as the only one she could talk to. He had been surprisingly sympathetic earlier. It appeared his near death experience had changed him.
Crais walked slowly to command. He assumed that since Aeryn had left so quickly, she wanted some time to herself. He stopped by the galley and prepared some tea. When he arrived in command Aeryn was standing with her back to the door. He moved next to her, "I thought you might like some tea."
She took the mug from him. "Thank you," her voice was husky.
She had her head bowed so that her hair had fallen in her face. Crais set his mug down and gently brushed her hair behind her shoulder. He placed a finger under her chin and coaxed her to look at him. He saw that her eyes were red and puffy. He asked softly, "Are you all right?"
She forced herself to look at him and hugged herself tightly. "I'm frightened," she admitted. "My life has been turned upside-down. I learned to love. I had that love ripped from me. Now I find myself faced with a shadow of that love. I have tried to accept that the two Crichton's are the same, but deep in my heart I know they aren't. We shared something special here. Something he doesn't know about." She reached down and rubbed her stomach. "Now I find myself carrying a life that has driven him further from me."
He reached down and placed his hand over hers. He whispered in her ear, "Do you regret what happened?"
"I don't regret that I went to you that night and I don't regret what happened."
"Do you not want this child?" Crais asked gently.
A look of shock crossed her face as she realized what Crais was saying. She placed her hand on his arm reassuringly, "I do want this child. If parentage would have determined how much I wanted it, I could have taken care of that on the planet. Parentage has never mattered to me."
"But you still wish that the child were his."
"I used to, but now I think that perhaps it's best if I close that part of my life. I need to move on. I don't think that he will ever be able to look at the child without thinking about you. It wouldn't be fair to our child. I want to go with you and Talyn when you leave."
"Are you sure? It might be some time before we see Moya again. Talyn and I were planning on doing some deep space exploration."
"That's all right. I think it will make it safer for the baby."
It took a few microts for what she had said to sink in, "Do you mean you had the baby released from stasis?"
She smiled softly, "I did."