INNOCENT - BY OUR LADY PEACE
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With a Lennon and Cobain and
A guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Oh, and Tina losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she'd never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
No...
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you'll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you'll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you'll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you'll stand up on your own..)
------------------------------------------------------
FLASHBACK
A nirvana song played from the CD player as Lex sat on the couch in the basement, which was Johnny's bedroom, and he frowned looking at his nails. A bruise marred his cheek and there was a scab on the cut across his lip, making his skin look more paler against the harsh dark contrast.
Johnny was currently flipping through some music magazine, whilst Tina was admiring her reflection in the mirror, silently making comments about her features. With annoyance she scowled facing Johnny, "can you turn this crud off, or at least put something decent on, its giving me a headache!"
"Crud?! What would you know about decent music huh Tina?" Johnny raised an eyebrow as he looked up from the magazine.
"Fine if you don't turn it off, I will" she said glancing at her reflection before walking over to the CD player and hitting the STOP button.
"Hey! Put that back on!" Johnny demanded sitting up, back resting against the couch as he glared at her.
"No" she simply said glaring back and rested a hand on her hip. "I'm bored okay, I want to do something fun to take my mind off things!"
"Oh really?" Johnny smirked, shutting the magazine with a quick flick of the wrist.
"Yeah" Tina shifted on her feet, "then again, I'm worried about your idea of fun" she muttered.
Johnny laughed, "my idea of fun is perfectly harmless, isn't it Lex?" Johnny asked glancing up.
"Huh?" Lex looked up. It was the first real acknowledgement they'd given him since he'd arrived.
"My idea of fun, to take our mind off things" Johnny smirked and stood up, walking past Tina towards his desk and opening the top drawer. He took out a small tin and opened it, taking out a lighter and-
"Oh my god are those spliffs?" Tina asked wide-eyed as Johnny started to light one up.
"I see you haven't lost your nack of pointing out the obvious" he chuckled as he flicked the light two, three times before the light stayed and he lit one before holding it out to her.
"No way Johnny, those things are"-
"They're harmless! Aren't they Lex?" Johnny peered around at him but didn't wait for an answer, "just give it a try, you'll be surprised"
Tina turned to face Lex. "You've done this before Lex? Well I never"-
"Look Tina, either take one and shut up, or. shut up and go somewhere else" he popped the spliff into his mouth and took a deep drag, grinning as he did so before taking it away from his lips. "Here Lex" he said and walked over holding it out to him.
"I can't Johnny, I mean what with my health"-
"Tina quit whining" Johnny turned around and held the spliff out to her instead. "Just shut up and suck up" he grinned at her. Glaring at him she gingerly took it off him and looked at it.
"I guess. I've always been curious" she tilted her head.
Johnny smirked, "that a girl" he winked and turned to face Lex, lighting a new one. "Here dude, I know you been waiting a while for this" he chuckled and held it out.
Lex looked up at him, blinking slowly before reaching out. The baggy sleeve of his black top slipped down a bit and Johnny looked down and raised both eyebrows.
"Hey didn't know you'd be doing that again" he nodded at Lex's arm.
Lex looked down and pulled his arm back to tug the sleeve back down, "Yeah well." he shrugged.
"God I'd never be able to do that to myself. Must hurt like hell" Johnny winced and spoke thoughtfully.
"Can you just shut up about it and leave it" Lex frowned and snatched the spliff off him.
"Hey whatever helps dude" Johnny sniffed and shrugged heading to the swivel chair by the desk.
"Woah. I feel weird" Tina said as she sat down on the couch next to Lex and looked at him.
"You're happy that's why" Johnny spoke from the corner.
"I guess. maybe" Tina had a weird tired smile on her face as she turned and faced Lex before resting her head on his shoulder and she placed her hand gently on his thigh. He tensed up but she didn't seem to notice as she asked, "are you happy Lex?"
Lex looked away and exhaled a cloud of smoke as he stared at the wall feeling numb.
"Of course he's happy" Johnny said as he span on the chair laughing and smoking the spliff, and Tina watched him and laughed. The only person not laughing was Lex.
"Yeah I know"
"What do you mean?"
--------------------------------------------------------------
"What do you mean?"
Lex's head snapped up as he realized it was Bray talking. He blinked slowly at him. It was too tiring a movement to be called blinking as he tilted his head slightly on the pillow.
"I might tell you sometime" Lex mumbled as his eyes lost some of their glaze.
"Why can't you tell me now Lex? Why can't you tell me anything like.. like how you feel" Bray asked from the chair by Lex's bedside.
"I don't think.I feel. anything" Lex spoke slowly as he struggled to think clearly. "I feel.. empty and numb.I think" his eyes focused on Bray's sparkling sad eyes.
"Lex. I know you're feeling all this pain and anger and stuff. If you talk about it, it might help you feel better. Its good to talk to people" Bray looked down a moment and swallowed, "You know I thought it was all my fault you did this to yourself"
"No its not" Lex said slowly in a dull monotone voice, "its my fault. its all my fault"
"No Lex its nots your fault. None of it is. You can't help what happened to you. I wish I could say I understand, but I can't because I don't. I wish you'd talk to me Lex instead of bottling it all up, driving yourself crazy"
Something seemed to flicker behind Lex's eyes as he looked away and chewed slightly on his bottom lip. "Sometimes I wish I could too"
"God Lex, how did it all get this far? How'd end up like this?"
Lex didn't answer his just looked down at the bandages covering his scarred arms. Where lots of lines marked him, each with their own tale. He merely gave a little shrug as he blinked tiredly.
"You've got to help us to help you Lex"
Lex looked up as something seemed to flash in his mind and he was taken back to his past again..
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With a Lennon and Cobain and
A guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Oh, and Tina losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she'd never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
No...
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you'll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you'll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you'll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you'll stand up on your own..)
------------------------------------------------------
FLASHBACK
A nirvana song played from the CD player as Lex sat on the couch in the basement, which was Johnny's bedroom, and he frowned looking at his nails. A bruise marred his cheek and there was a scab on the cut across his lip, making his skin look more paler against the harsh dark contrast.
Johnny was currently flipping through some music magazine, whilst Tina was admiring her reflection in the mirror, silently making comments about her features. With annoyance she scowled facing Johnny, "can you turn this crud off, or at least put something decent on, its giving me a headache!"
"Crud?! What would you know about decent music huh Tina?" Johnny raised an eyebrow as he looked up from the magazine.
"Fine if you don't turn it off, I will" she said glancing at her reflection before walking over to the CD player and hitting the STOP button.
"Hey! Put that back on!" Johnny demanded sitting up, back resting against the couch as he glared at her.
"No" she simply said glaring back and rested a hand on her hip. "I'm bored okay, I want to do something fun to take my mind off things!"
"Oh really?" Johnny smirked, shutting the magazine with a quick flick of the wrist.
"Yeah" Tina shifted on her feet, "then again, I'm worried about your idea of fun" she muttered.
Johnny laughed, "my idea of fun is perfectly harmless, isn't it Lex?" Johnny asked glancing up.
"Huh?" Lex looked up. It was the first real acknowledgement they'd given him since he'd arrived.
"My idea of fun, to take our mind off things" Johnny smirked and stood up, walking past Tina towards his desk and opening the top drawer. He took out a small tin and opened it, taking out a lighter and-
"Oh my god are those spliffs?" Tina asked wide-eyed as Johnny started to light one up.
"I see you haven't lost your nack of pointing out the obvious" he chuckled as he flicked the light two, three times before the light stayed and he lit one before holding it out to her.
"No way Johnny, those things are"-
"They're harmless! Aren't they Lex?" Johnny peered around at him but didn't wait for an answer, "just give it a try, you'll be surprised"
Tina turned to face Lex. "You've done this before Lex? Well I never"-
"Look Tina, either take one and shut up, or. shut up and go somewhere else" he popped the spliff into his mouth and took a deep drag, grinning as he did so before taking it away from his lips. "Here Lex" he said and walked over holding it out to him.
"I can't Johnny, I mean what with my health"-
"Tina quit whining" Johnny turned around and held the spliff out to her instead. "Just shut up and suck up" he grinned at her. Glaring at him she gingerly took it off him and looked at it.
"I guess. I've always been curious" she tilted her head.
Johnny smirked, "that a girl" he winked and turned to face Lex, lighting a new one. "Here dude, I know you been waiting a while for this" he chuckled and held it out.
Lex looked up at him, blinking slowly before reaching out. The baggy sleeve of his black top slipped down a bit and Johnny looked down and raised both eyebrows.
"Hey didn't know you'd be doing that again" he nodded at Lex's arm.
Lex looked down and pulled his arm back to tug the sleeve back down, "Yeah well." he shrugged.
"God I'd never be able to do that to myself. Must hurt like hell" Johnny winced and spoke thoughtfully.
"Can you just shut up about it and leave it" Lex frowned and snatched the spliff off him.
"Hey whatever helps dude" Johnny sniffed and shrugged heading to the swivel chair by the desk.
"Woah. I feel weird" Tina said as she sat down on the couch next to Lex and looked at him.
"You're happy that's why" Johnny spoke from the corner.
"I guess. maybe" Tina had a weird tired smile on her face as she turned and faced Lex before resting her head on his shoulder and she placed her hand gently on his thigh. He tensed up but she didn't seem to notice as she asked, "are you happy Lex?"
Lex looked away and exhaled a cloud of smoke as he stared at the wall feeling numb.
"Of course he's happy" Johnny said as he span on the chair laughing and smoking the spliff, and Tina watched him and laughed. The only person not laughing was Lex.
"Yeah I know"
"What do you mean?"
--------------------------------------------------------------
"What do you mean?"
Lex's head snapped up as he realized it was Bray talking. He blinked slowly at him. It was too tiring a movement to be called blinking as he tilted his head slightly on the pillow.
"I might tell you sometime" Lex mumbled as his eyes lost some of their glaze.
"Why can't you tell me now Lex? Why can't you tell me anything like.. like how you feel" Bray asked from the chair by Lex's bedside.
"I don't think.I feel. anything" Lex spoke slowly as he struggled to think clearly. "I feel.. empty and numb.I think" his eyes focused on Bray's sparkling sad eyes.
"Lex. I know you're feeling all this pain and anger and stuff. If you talk about it, it might help you feel better. Its good to talk to people" Bray looked down a moment and swallowed, "You know I thought it was all my fault you did this to yourself"
"No its not" Lex said slowly in a dull monotone voice, "its my fault. its all my fault"
"No Lex its nots your fault. None of it is. You can't help what happened to you. I wish I could say I understand, but I can't because I don't. I wish you'd talk to me Lex instead of bottling it all up, driving yourself crazy"
Something seemed to flicker behind Lex's eyes as he looked away and chewed slightly on his bottom lip. "Sometimes I wish I could too"
"God Lex, how did it all get this far? How'd end up like this?"
Lex didn't answer his just looked down at the bandages covering his scarred arms. Where lots of lines marked him, each with their own tale. He merely gave a little shrug as he blinked tiredly.
"You've got to help us to help you Lex"
Lex looked up as something seemed to flash in his mind and he was taken back to his past again..