Carnival by Our Lady Peace
You know you're not a strong man/
And you're just about to cry/
Hang on, it's alright/
You worry about the future/
The sign says "yoga class for cats"/
It's okay/
The dynamite is waiting/
They bankrupted the sky/
You're frustrated by the cracks in/
The pavement/
And every mother's back.../
Once again/
The Carnival closed down/
but if this world ever turns around/
You'll be there when everybody is sane/
"You've got to help us to help you Lex" the middle aged woman looked pensively at Lex through her glasses, as she rested the clipboard on her crossed legs.
Lex sat opposite her in a suffocating large leather chair cross legged, feeling small and drowned in the large room painted a dark sickly green and behind the woman was bookcases filled with thick books of some type. He blinked at her as he glanced down at his hand holding a cigarette and the bandage past his wrist. He wasn't supposed to smoke, he was underage anyway, but for some reason she let him smoke.
He raised the cigarette to his lips and sucked deeply on it before taking it away and exhaling a large cloud of smoke before peering at her, "There's nothing to help. I'm fine"
The woman frowned and shifted, "far from it Lex. You're condition is getting worse. You're becoming more aggressive, and using illegal substances and smoking isn't helping. You friends"-
"Leave them out of this, they're nothing to do with me or this 'situation'" Lex rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, tapping the ash off his cigarette into the ashtray resting on the arm of the chair.
"Lex who you hang out with affects the way you behave, your actions and decisions"-
"I make my own decisions thankyou" Lex glanced at her before taking another drag from his cigarette.
The woman sighed as she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "You're really not helping yourself"
"Well I don't want to be here. I don't need to be here" Lex stated and glanced to the window, where the sunlight was streaming through the branched of the tree outside.
"You need to face upto and sort your issues Lex, that why you're here" the woman told him as she propped her glasses back on.
"No I'm here because time equals money to you, and I'm just another pathetic case for you to waste time hmming and haaing over. I'm here because everyone else is fed up and gave up and needed to pass me on to some one else for a while" Lex spat out and took another drag from his cigarette.
The woman looked at him before glancing to her clipboard. "So you do think, and feel like you're passed on, unwanted?"
"I don't think I know, lady" Lex sneered and tapped more ash off the cigarette, "let me guess, you're about to underline the word PARANOID a couple times on your damn notes" he rolled his eyes and looked back to the window.
The woman narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked up at him. Then did underline something.
"What the hell do you write on that god damn clipboard anyway?" Lex asked turning his gaze back to her.
"I'm afraid I can't"-
"If its about me then I have a right to know" Lex cut her off.
"Lex" the woman spoke sternly, "You need to focus on other important things here, like your behavior and attitude"
"Just because people don't like the way I act doesn't mean its wrong" Lex snorted.
"That's not what the school, your father, or the police think" the woman retaliated.
Lex just merely shrugged, "they pretend to dislike me, deep down I know they hate me" he smirked and blew a cloud of smoke out at her.
"Can't you be serious for once!" the woman found herself snapping.
"How about we all do ourselves a favor" Lex snapped, "write down in your little notes what a psycho I am, to tell my daddy dearest and the rest of the damned hypocrites who make me come here, and let me totter off to do something fun. Save us a lot of boredom and annoyance" he stabbed his cigarette out and stood up.
"Lex you will sit down now and answer my questions and get this session over and done with!" the woman said sternly and watched as Lex sighed and slump back down in the seat.
"Seeing as you asked so nicely" he raised an eyebrow and gave her an uninterested look. "Let me guess 'how do you feel?', 'why do you do that Lex - and how does it make you feel?'"-
"Good suggestion, go on then, tell me how you feel. Right now" the woman challenged.
"Fine you wanna know how I feel" Lex said and sat up, crossing his legs on the chair, "I feel annoyed I feel bored, I hate being here I hate being asked the same moronic questions each time. I hate having the attention paid for people to say 'he's crazy and needs to see a shrink' and when I do they ignore me again and don't pay the slightest attention to me. I'm fed up of having to be the one pushed around, told what to do, whats wrong and right, about all the things I've done wrong what I haven't done right. I'm annoyed that people can pay attention to me one second then don't want to know me the next. They just use me for their own damn pleasure then push me away like they're putting me back on a shelf to wait and play with another damned day!"
"So you feel like a toy?" the woman raised an eyebrow and interrupted Lex making him stop and stare at her blinking a few times before leaning forward slightly. "What?" he asked.
"You feel like a toy don't you? Used and manipulated for other people's pleasures. And like you said, put on a shelf to wait for another day when they want to pay attention to you"
Lex blinked as she continued speaking, but the words fell deaf on his ears. So she was basically telling him that his whole life he'd just been some toy, for everyone to play with. As if that wasn't bad enough, he knew it. He knew what she said was right. He stood up quickly grabbing his trench coat, and the ashtray fell to the floor and scattered on the carpet.
"Lex?" the woman looked up questioningly.
"Session's finished, I'm out of here" he muttered and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
There was another flash before Lex's eyes.
The same woman sat in front of him, weird plastered on smile on her face as she tilted her head and clasped her hands perkily saying "I'm sorry, your time's up"
--------------------------------------------------------------
"..You're times up" a female doctor was saying to Bray. He glanced down to Lex who was staring up at him with a confused distant look in his eyes.
"Can't I stay a bit longer or something?" Bray asked looking back to her pleadingly.
"I'm sorry but he needs his rest. You can come visit tomorrow though" the girl told him.
"I.I don't feel right leaving him now. Couldn't I spend the night or something?" Bray asked her.
"I, I don't know sir" the girl smiled apologetically.
"I'll be no trouble, I'll sleep on this chair even, can't you just check please?" Bray asked.
The girl looked at him then to the bed where Lex was lying and he was staring at Bray. "I..I guess so, I'll ask his doctor" she said finally.
"Thankyou" Bray smiled at her as she walked off to go speak to him. Bray turned in his chair to look at Lex. "It.its okay I stay here right?"
Lex continued staring at him with those dark dull eyes. "I'd appreciate not being alone" he whispered. "I hate hospitals" he closed his eyes.
You know you're not a strong man/
And you're just about to cry/
Hang on, it's alright/
You worry about the future/
The sign says "yoga class for cats"/
It's okay/
The dynamite is waiting/
They bankrupted the sky/
You're frustrated by the cracks in/
The pavement/
And every mother's back.../
Once again/
The Carnival closed down/
but if this world ever turns around/
You'll be there when everybody is sane/
"You've got to help us to help you Lex" the middle aged woman looked pensively at Lex through her glasses, as she rested the clipboard on her crossed legs.
Lex sat opposite her in a suffocating large leather chair cross legged, feeling small and drowned in the large room painted a dark sickly green and behind the woman was bookcases filled with thick books of some type. He blinked at her as he glanced down at his hand holding a cigarette and the bandage past his wrist. He wasn't supposed to smoke, he was underage anyway, but for some reason she let him smoke.
He raised the cigarette to his lips and sucked deeply on it before taking it away and exhaling a large cloud of smoke before peering at her, "There's nothing to help. I'm fine"
The woman frowned and shifted, "far from it Lex. You're condition is getting worse. You're becoming more aggressive, and using illegal substances and smoking isn't helping. You friends"-
"Leave them out of this, they're nothing to do with me or this 'situation'" Lex rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, tapping the ash off his cigarette into the ashtray resting on the arm of the chair.
"Lex who you hang out with affects the way you behave, your actions and decisions"-
"I make my own decisions thankyou" Lex glanced at her before taking another drag from his cigarette.
The woman sighed as she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "You're really not helping yourself"
"Well I don't want to be here. I don't need to be here" Lex stated and glanced to the window, where the sunlight was streaming through the branched of the tree outside.
"You need to face upto and sort your issues Lex, that why you're here" the woman told him as she propped her glasses back on.
"No I'm here because time equals money to you, and I'm just another pathetic case for you to waste time hmming and haaing over. I'm here because everyone else is fed up and gave up and needed to pass me on to some one else for a while" Lex spat out and took another drag from his cigarette.
The woman looked at him before glancing to her clipboard. "So you do think, and feel like you're passed on, unwanted?"
"I don't think I know, lady" Lex sneered and tapped more ash off the cigarette, "let me guess, you're about to underline the word PARANOID a couple times on your damn notes" he rolled his eyes and looked back to the window.
The woman narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked up at him. Then did underline something.
"What the hell do you write on that god damn clipboard anyway?" Lex asked turning his gaze back to her.
"I'm afraid I can't"-
"If its about me then I have a right to know" Lex cut her off.
"Lex" the woman spoke sternly, "You need to focus on other important things here, like your behavior and attitude"
"Just because people don't like the way I act doesn't mean its wrong" Lex snorted.
"That's not what the school, your father, or the police think" the woman retaliated.
Lex just merely shrugged, "they pretend to dislike me, deep down I know they hate me" he smirked and blew a cloud of smoke out at her.
"Can't you be serious for once!" the woman found herself snapping.
"How about we all do ourselves a favor" Lex snapped, "write down in your little notes what a psycho I am, to tell my daddy dearest and the rest of the damned hypocrites who make me come here, and let me totter off to do something fun. Save us a lot of boredom and annoyance" he stabbed his cigarette out and stood up.
"Lex you will sit down now and answer my questions and get this session over and done with!" the woman said sternly and watched as Lex sighed and slump back down in the seat.
"Seeing as you asked so nicely" he raised an eyebrow and gave her an uninterested look. "Let me guess 'how do you feel?', 'why do you do that Lex - and how does it make you feel?'"-
"Good suggestion, go on then, tell me how you feel. Right now" the woman challenged.
"Fine you wanna know how I feel" Lex said and sat up, crossing his legs on the chair, "I feel annoyed I feel bored, I hate being here I hate being asked the same moronic questions each time. I hate having the attention paid for people to say 'he's crazy and needs to see a shrink' and when I do they ignore me again and don't pay the slightest attention to me. I'm fed up of having to be the one pushed around, told what to do, whats wrong and right, about all the things I've done wrong what I haven't done right. I'm annoyed that people can pay attention to me one second then don't want to know me the next. They just use me for their own damn pleasure then push me away like they're putting me back on a shelf to wait and play with another damned day!"
"So you feel like a toy?" the woman raised an eyebrow and interrupted Lex making him stop and stare at her blinking a few times before leaning forward slightly. "What?" he asked.
"You feel like a toy don't you? Used and manipulated for other people's pleasures. And like you said, put on a shelf to wait for another day when they want to pay attention to you"
Lex blinked as she continued speaking, but the words fell deaf on his ears. So she was basically telling him that his whole life he'd just been some toy, for everyone to play with. As if that wasn't bad enough, he knew it. He knew what she said was right. He stood up quickly grabbing his trench coat, and the ashtray fell to the floor and scattered on the carpet.
"Lex?" the woman looked up questioningly.
"Session's finished, I'm out of here" he muttered and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
There was another flash before Lex's eyes.
The same woman sat in front of him, weird plastered on smile on her face as she tilted her head and clasped her hands perkily saying "I'm sorry, your time's up"
--------------------------------------------------------------
"..You're times up" a female doctor was saying to Bray. He glanced down to Lex who was staring up at him with a confused distant look in his eyes.
"Can't I stay a bit longer or something?" Bray asked looking back to her pleadingly.
"I'm sorry but he needs his rest. You can come visit tomorrow though" the girl told him.
"I.I don't feel right leaving him now. Couldn't I spend the night or something?" Bray asked her.
"I, I don't know sir" the girl smiled apologetically.
"I'll be no trouble, I'll sleep on this chair even, can't you just check please?" Bray asked.
The girl looked at him then to the bed where Lex was lying and he was staring at Bray. "I..I guess so, I'll ask his doctor" she said finally.
"Thankyou" Bray smiled at her as she walked off to go speak to him. Bray turned in his chair to look at Lex. "It.its okay I stay here right?"
Lex continued staring at him with those dark dull eyes. "I'd appreciate not being alone" he whispered. "I hate hospitals" he closed his eyes.