Disclaimer - Listen... I don't own ANYTHING, NOT EVEN THE COMPUTER I'M
TYPING ON, so get off my CASE!!! Oh, and Erica is my friend, by the way!
She agreed to try to keep this play sane! (Audience... if any: BOOO!
(throws trash at MZF)) What!?
(The Next Day)
Zazu: (walks in, traumatized) The horror..... The horror....
Major Zazu Fangirl: (walks in, wearing a $3,000,000 dress) Wasn't that fun!?
Zazu: I'll have to work for 450 years to pay off for that piece of cotton!
Geo: On your salary, 634 is more like it.
Zazu: (falls over anime-style)
MZF: Anyway, I thought we'd actually get this play on with before the bank repoes the place.
Umi: How can they repo a backyard with nothing in it?
MZF: At this rate, we'll find out. Anyway, I brought in one of my friends to help with the play. This is Erica.
Erica: (bored) ...Hi...
Presea: How did you get here so fast?
Erica: (bored) ... I dunno...
MZF: Erica has been working on some sort of drug to help me from going crazy! Isn't that nice!?
Zazu: THANK GOD!!! (at Erica's feet) THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!
Erica: (mildy freaked out, and bored) ...You're scaring me...
(Sad music starts playing)
Zazu: (looking sad, on the verge of tears) All my life I have searched for the answer to get this bitch of my back... disguises, hiding, eating garlic for lunch... but they all failed! (Music lifts to a joyful tune)
Zazu: However, you may have answered my prayers! The answer was not goofy glasses, hiding behind someone three times the size of me, or going to "Little Italy" for lunch... it was...
("Hallelujah" starts playing)
Zazu: DRUGS!!! THE ANSWER ALL ALONG WAS DRUGS!!! (sobbing)
Erica: (bored) ... Anyone else hear music?
Miki (From Chrono Cross): (playing with a CD player) Oh, sorry. (turns off music) (If you don't know who this is, check out http://www.icybrian.com/chronocross/miki3.jpg for a picture)
Ferio: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuu: FERIO! (slaps Ferio, about three teeth fall out of his mouth)
Ferio: Ow! I have a lawyer! I'll sue!
Fuu: I think what you need is a dentist! Your teeth look horrible!
Clef: Who are you?
Miki: I'm Miki! Major Zazu Fangirl hired me to work with the music.
Caldina: I've seen you! You're a dancer, ain't ya?
Miki: (gasp) I've seen you too! You're Caldina! I love Chizetan dancing!
Caldina: I love... whatever dancing you do!
Miki: And that costume! It's so cool!
Caldina: I love the top! Pink is definitely your colour!
Both: (squealing)
Erica: (bored) ... Is this gay or what?
All: (agreeing)
Zazu: (straining) WE COULD USE A LITTLE OF THOSE DRUGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!
MZF: (all over Zazu again... as usual) No drugs will keep you away from MEEEE!!!!
Zazu: (screaming as loud as he can in this condition) ERICA!!!
Erica: (bored) ... I'm still testing it...
Zazu: (stammering) T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- TESTING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Erica: (bored) ... Ah, what the hell... (holds up a needle) (Holy music plays, everyone eyes Miki, who's nowhere near the CD player anymore)
Miki: (has no idea why everyone is looking at her) What???
Erica: (actually not bored anymore) (gives MZF the needle)
MZF: (dizzily) Wow! Everything's so spinny! (humming odd tune) (passes out)
Everyone: (gapes in awe for about one second, then start cheering)
Zazu: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
Miki: (turns on Conga music) Drinks for everyone!
(Conga line starts, a party erupts with alchohol and food)
(16 hours later...)
MZF: (wakes up) Huh? (notices a HUGE mess and nobody is there) Why is there a HUGE mess here? Why isn't anyone here?
(The Next Day)
MZF: You all ditched me! Just for that, you all have to FORCE Zazu to buy me another dress!
Eagle: Yeah, Zazu's not here, he has a hang-over and couldn't make it.
MZF: (Gasp!) My li'l Zazzy isn't here??? Cruel fate, why do you mock me!? (light-bulb) Okay! For the remainder of the day, my name is MEF!
Eagle: (scared half to death) M!E!F?
(Horror music starts playing)
MZ(E)F: Major EAGLE fangirl! (Thunder crashes) (laughing crazily)
Miki: I love my job!
Eagle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
MEF: (tries to hug Eagle, but is... a little too short)
Fuu: Miss Major Eagle Fangirl, you appear to be too short to hug Mr. Eagle. You should try your luck with Mr. Clef.
MEF: EWWWW!!!! THAT 745-YEAR-OLD PERVERT!? (A/N: Sorry, Clef fans) NO WAAAY!!! (grabs a ladder, climbs ladder and hugs Eagle) EAGLE!!!
Eagle: (through clenched teeth) I'm going to KILL Zazu!
MEF: Since Zazu is not here, we'll just do the first few scenes! Ferio! You can be camera-man!
Ferio: (sarcastic) Oh, boy, I get to work with a broken camera.
MEF: I FIXED IT!
Ferio: You can't fix a camera!
MEF: I can't, but YOU can!
Ferio: What the hell...?
MEF: Everyone get into your costumes! Miki! Cue the music!
Miki: (thumbs-up) Right!
MEF: HEY! YOU STOLE THAT FROM ZAZU!!! NO ONE STEALS FROM ZAZU!!!
Miki: (sweatdrop) YOU stole his wrench, remember?
MEF: ... We're even! (Hand-shake)
(Scene 1 - that weird book opens, fantasy music plays, and this whole thing is pointless, I'm going to sleep)
Umi: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess living in a beautiful kingdom called Cephiro.
Fuu: The princess's name was Snow Hikaru, she lived in the castle with her step-mother the queen, Debonair.
Umi: The queen would step up to her mirror everyday and ask, "Nova, Nova, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"
Fuu: As long as the pink-haired girl in the mirror would respond, "You are the fairest one of all, mother Debonair," the queen would be happy.
Umi: But one day Nova in the mirror responded differently, saying that "Snow Hikaru" was the fairest in the land.
Fuu: The queen tried hiding the princess's beauty in rags, and-hey, where's the rest of the script?
Umi: Goddamnit, MEF! You couldn't even finish the intro!?
MEF: I got bored! YOU try writing a script!
Fuu: Well, this classic intro is dead!
Umi: It was dead the second I said "Once..."
(Scene 2 - Debonair walks up to her mirror, scary music begins to play. If anyone wants me I'll be ordering a pizza and listening to the radio)
Debonair: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space. Through wind and darkness, I summon thee.
(wind howling)
Debonair: Speak! Let me see thy face.
(Fire shows up in the mirror, then dissapears, but nobody's there)
Debonair: (clears throat) Let me see thy face.
(... Nothing...)
Debonair: LET ME SEE THY FACE!!!
MEF: Hold on, hold on, hold on! Where's Nova?
Mokona: Puu! Puu! Puu! (pointing)
MEF: What's that, Mokona?
Mokona: Puu! Puu, puu! (pointing)
MEF: Nova's over there? (points in the same direction as Mokona)
Mokona: (nodding) Puu, puu!
MEF: Thanks, Mokona! (runs over to where Nova is standing, at the snack bar, but she's so hyped on pixistix (cough, cough) she runs right past her, down the street, and into a tree) OW! THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TAKE DIRECTIONS FROM AN OVERGROWN MARSHMALLOW!!! (runs back) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MOKONA!?!?
Mokona: (worried) Puu.
Umi: (comes up with a pen and clipboard) Should I sign you up for the "I Hate Mokona Club?"
MEF: Certainly!
Umi: Umm. do I sign you up as MZF or MEF?
MEF: I go as both, I am MZF when Zazu is healthy, MEF when he is not, and MFF when both are not availible.
Ferio: MFF!?
Umi: And what if Zazu, Eagle AND Ferio are all sick?
MEF: In the unlikely case of that, I will be known as MLF.
Lantis: _ Shit!
Umi: And if-
MEF: MAF.
Ascot: DAMN!!!
Umi: Well, I think this shoot is over, our next meeting starts in 5 minutes.
MEF: Who else is in the group?
Umi: Well... just us, actually, but if you get another person to sign up you a get a free "I Hate Mokona Club Pin." (holds up a pin the size of crumb)
MEF: WOW!!!! THAT PIN LOOKS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!
(A window breaks)
MEF: MOOOOOM!!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!! PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! USE PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! I want the pin!
Umi: Uh-uh-uh! You have to get someone to sign up!
MEF: (takes the clipboard and scribbles on it) THERE! EAGLE JOINED!
Eagle: (goes chibi) But I don't wanna!
MEF: (ANGRY RED EYES!!!) YOU'LL JOIN AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!
Eagle: (faints)
Umi: ... Just take the friggin' pin!
MFF: Thanks!
Ferio: Hey, hold on, what's going on!?
MFF: Zazu's not here, Eagle's unconscious, you're the next in line! (Jumps at Ferio and hugs every single breath of air outta him)
Ferio: AHHHH!!! I'M DYING!!!
MFF: I WUV YOU!!!
Ferio: AHH!!! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!!
Mom: I've called the mental hospital again, is that all right?
Ferio: THAT'LL BE PERFECT, MA'AM!!!
Erica: (bored) ... I'm gonna make a stronger drug...
God am I bored... I write this for fun and only fun, but God am I bored... If I get one good review I'll post the next chapter, if not! I'll send out my snake and goldfish to steal all CD's with RUN on them! (laughs manically) No, seriously, please review, I know you're all good people, so review and I promise you you'll go to heaven, 'kay? Buh-bye.
(The Next Day)
Zazu: (walks in, traumatized) The horror..... The horror....
Major Zazu Fangirl: (walks in, wearing a $3,000,000 dress) Wasn't that fun!?
Zazu: I'll have to work for 450 years to pay off for that piece of cotton!
Geo: On your salary, 634 is more like it.
Zazu: (falls over anime-style)
MZF: Anyway, I thought we'd actually get this play on with before the bank repoes the place.
Umi: How can they repo a backyard with nothing in it?
MZF: At this rate, we'll find out. Anyway, I brought in one of my friends to help with the play. This is Erica.
Erica: (bored) ...Hi...
Presea: How did you get here so fast?
Erica: (bored) ... I dunno...
MZF: Erica has been working on some sort of drug to help me from going crazy! Isn't that nice!?
Zazu: THANK GOD!!! (at Erica's feet) THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!
Erica: (mildy freaked out, and bored) ...You're scaring me...
(Sad music starts playing)
Zazu: (looking sad, on the verge of tears) All my life I have searched for the answer to get this bitch of my back... disguises, hiding, eating garlic for lunch... but they all failed! (Music lifts to a joyful tune)
Zazu: However, you may have answered my prayers! The answer was not goofy glasses, hiding behind someone three times the size of me, or going to "Little Italy" for lunch... it was...
("Hallelujah" starts playing)
Zazu: DRUGS!!! THE ANSWER ALL ALONG WAS DRUGS!!! (sobbing)
Erica: (bored) ... Anyone else hear music?
Miki (From Chrono Cross): (playing with a CD player) Oh, sorry. (turns off music) (If you don't know who this is, check out http://www.icybrian.com/chronocross/miki3.jpg for a picture)
Ferio: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuu: FERIO! (slaps Ferio, about three teeth fall out of his mouth)
Ferio: Ow! I have a lawyer! I'll sue!
Fuu: I think what you need is a dentist! Your teeth look horrible!
Clef: Who are you?
Miki: I'm Miki! Major Zazu Fangirl hired me to work with the music.
Caldina: I've seen you! You're a dancer, ain't ya?
Miki: (gasp) I've seen you too! You're Caldina! I love Chizetan dancing!
Caldina: I love... whatever dancing you do!
Miki: And that costume! It's so cool!
Caldina: I love the top! Pink is definitely your colour!
Both: (squealing)
Erica: (bored) ... Is this gay or what?
All: (agreeing)
Zazu: (straining) WE COULD USE A LITTLE OF THOSE DRUGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!
MZF: (all over Zazu again... as usual) No drugs will keep you away from MEEEE!!!!
Zazu: (screaming as loud as he can in this condition) ERICA!!!
Erica: (bored) ... I'm still testing it...
Zazu: (stammering) T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- TESTING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Erica: (bored) ... Ah, what the hell... (holds up a needle) (Holy music plays, everyone eyes Miki, who's nowhere near the CD player anymore)
Miki: (has no idea why everyone is looking at her) What???
Erica: (actually not bored anymore) (gives MZF the needle)
MZF: (dizzily) Wow! Everything's so spinny! (humming odd tune) (passes out)
Everyone: (gapes in awe for about one second, then start cheering)
Zazu: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
Miki: (turns on Conga music) Drinks for everyone!
(Conga line starts, a party erupts with alchohol and food)
(16 hours later...)
MZF: (wakes up) Huh? (notices a HUGE mess and nobody is there) Why is there a HUGE mess here? Why isn't anyone here?
(The Next Day)
MZF: You all ditched me! Just for that, you all have to FORCE Zazu to buy me another dress!
Eagle: Yeah, Zazu's not here, he has a hang-over and couldn't make it.
MZF: (Gasp!) My li'l Zazzy isn't here??? Cruel fate, why do you mock me!? (light-bulb) Okay! For the remainder of the day, my name is MEF!
Eagle: (scared half to death) M!E!F?
(Horror music starts playing)
MZ(E)F: Major EAGLE fangirl! (Thunder crashes) (laughing crazily)
Miki: I love my job!
Eagle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
MEF: (tries to hug Eagle, but is... a little too short)
Fuu: Miss Major Eagle Fangirl, you appear to be too short to hug Mr. Eagle. You should try your luck with Mr. Clef.
MEF: EWWWW!!!! THAT 745-YEAR-OLD PERVERT!? (A/N: Sorry, Clef fans) NO WAAAY!!! (grabs a ladder, climbs ladder and hugs Eagle) EAGLE!!!
Eagle: (through clenched teeth) I'm going to KILL Zazu!
MEF: Since Zazu is not here, we'll just do the first few scenes! Ferio! You can be camera-man!
Ferio: (sarcastic) Oh, boy, I get to work with a broken camera.
MEF: I FIXED IT!
Ferio: You can't fix a camera!
MEF: I can't, but YOU can!
Ferio: What the hell...?
MEF: Everyone get into your costumes! Miki! Cue the music!
Miki: (thumbs-up) Right!
MEF: HEY! YOU STOLE THAT FROM ZAZU!!! NO ONE STEALS FROM ZAZU!!!
Miki: (sweatdrop) YOU stole his wrench, remember?
MEF: ... We're even! (Hand-shake)
(Scene 1 - that weird book opens, fantasy music plays, and this whole thing is pointless, I'm going to sleep)
Umi: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess living in a beautiful kingdom called Cephiro.
Fuu: The princess's name was Snow Hikaru, she lived in the castle with her step-mother the queen, Debonair.
Umi: The queen would step up to her mirror everyday and ask, "Nova, Nova, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"
Fuu: As long as the pink-haired girl in the mirror would respond, "You are the fairest one of all, mother Debonair," the queen would be happy.
Umi: But one day Nova in the mirror responded differently, saying that "Snow Hikaru" was the fairest in the land.
Fuu: The queen tried hiding the princess's beauty in rags, and-hey, where's the rest of the script?
Umi: Goddamnit, MEF! You couldn't even finish the intro!?
MEF: I got bored! YOU try writing a script!
Fuu: Well, this classic intro is dead!
Umi: It was dead the second I said "Once..."
(Scene 2 - Debonair walks up to her mirror, scary music begins to play. If anyone wants me I'll be ordering a pizza and listening to the radio)
Debonair: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space. Through wind and darkness, I summon thee.
(wind howling)
Debonair: Speak! Let me see thy face.
(Fire shows up in the mirror, then dissapears, but nobody's there)
Debonair: (clears throat) Let me see thy face.
(... Nothing...)
Debonair: LET ME SEE THY FACE!!!
MEF: Hold on, hold on, hold on! Where's Nova?
Mokona: Puu! Puu! Puu! (pointing)
MEF: What's that, Mokona?
Mokona: Puu! Puu, puu! (pointing)
MEF: Nova's over there? (points in the same direction as Mokona)
Mokona: (nodding) Puu, puu!
MEF: Thanks, Mokona! (runs over to where Nova is standing, at the snack bar, but she's so hyped on pixistix (cough, cough) she runs right past her, down the street, and into a tree) OW! THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TAKE DIRECTIONS FROM AN OVERGROWN MARSHMALLOW!!! (runs back) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MOKONA!?!?
Mokona: (worried) Puu.
Umi: (comes up with a pen and clipboard) Should I sign you up for the "I Hate Mokona Club?"
MEF: Certainly!
Umi: Umm. do I sign you up as MZF or MEF?
MEF: I go as both, I am MZF when Zazu is healthy, MEF when he is not, and MFF when both are not availible.
Ferio: MFF!?
Umi: And what if Zazu, Eagle AND Ferio are all sick?
MEF: In the unlikely case of that, I will be known as MLF.
Lantis: _ Shit!
Umi: And if-
MEF: MAF.
Ascot: DAMN!!!
Umi: Well, I think this shoot is over, our next meeting starts in 5 minutes.
MEF: Who else is in the group?
Umi: Well... just us, actually, but if you get another person to sign up you a get a free "I Hate Mokona Club Pin." (holds up a pin the size of crumb)
MEF: WOW!!!! THAT PIN LOOKS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!
(A window breaks)
MEF: MOOOOOM!!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!! PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! USE PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! I want the pin!
Umi: Uh-uh-uh! You have to get someone to sign up!
MEF: (takes the clipboard and scribbles on it) THERE! EAGLE JOINED!
Eagle: (goes chibi) But I don't wanna!
MEF: (ANGRY RED EYES!!!) YOU'LL JOIN AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!
Eagle: (faints)
Umi: ... Just take the friggin' pin!
MFF: Thanks!
Ferio: Hey, hold on, what's going on!?
MFF: Zazu's not here, Eagle's unconscious, you're the next in line! (Jumps at Ferio and hugs every single breath of air outta him)
Ferio: AHHHH!!! I'M DYING!!!
MFF: I WUV YOU!!!
Ferio: AHH!!! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!!
Mom: I've called the mental hospital again, is that all right?
Ferio: THAT'LL BE PERFECT, MA'AM!!!
Erica: (bored) ... I'm gonna make a stronger drug...
God am I bored... I write this for fun and only fun, but God am I bored... If I get one good review I'll post the next chapter, if not! I'll send out my snake and goldfish to steal all CD's with RUN on them! (laughs manically) No, seriously, please review, I know you're all good people, so review and I promise you you'll go to heaven, 'kay? Buh-bye.