Chapter 7

Hermione Disgruntled and The Pet Snake

The following morning, Jane met Harry on their way to breakfast, and put their arms around each other, smiling. The girl behind them, however, was not smiling.

Hermione grumbled to herself. Everybody was finding love nowadays… Harry was with Jane, and Percy, well into his 20's by now, was engaged to Penelope Clearwater… she felt completely left behind. She was often avoided by boys for being the "brainiac" or for being "too sensible for her own good." There was only one boy that accepted her for who she was… one boy she found attractive…

"What's wrong, Hermione?" asked Seamus Finnigan on his way past her.

"Why does something have to be wrong? Just because I don't have a big-ass smile on my face?" she snapped harshly.

Looking as if he had been hit by a whip, Seamus quickly disappeared down the hallway.

Hermione, alone again, returned to her thoughts. She didn't know why she found the boy attractive… she just did. He wasn't too bright, but he wasn't an idiot. Sometimes he was way too cheerful, and for some reason she felt inspired by somebody who could smile in the face of doom.

But her feelings sank lower when she realized that there was no way that this person could possibly feel the same way for her…

"Whassup?" said Ron, slapping her on the back. She jumped as if shot.

"Get the fuck away from me, you insensitive little prick!" she snarled.

Wincing as if she'd punched him, he darted back the way he came. Hermione gave in and collapsed on the floor, crying.

Harry and Jane were relaxing outside, in each other's arms, when Harry heard a sound from the grass. It was a hissing voice, but he understood it completely.

"Exssscuse me, Mr. Harry Potter…"

Harry looked up to see a cobra-like snake watching them. Since Harry could speak Parseltongue, he decided to converse with it.

"What can I do for you?" Harry said.

"That'ssss a lovely girlfriend you have, Mr. Potter." The snake said.

"Um, thank you."

"I hate to trouble you, sssir, but it is frightfully cold outside… have you a need for a pet in your tower?"

Jane looked up. "What's going on?"

Harry shushed her gently, then continued speaking. "You want me to take you in for a while?"

"You mean you will conssssider it?" the snake hissed. "Mr. Potter, you are assss kind as they come!"

"I guess you could stay with us, if you promise you won't cause trouble."

"Nonsssense! And call me Al."

"Al?" Harry looked surprised.

"I heard it on a sssong. Muggle mussic. Paul Ssssimon, I think. Ssso, you're being my bodyguard, thuss you can call me Al!" The snake cocked his head, such as a comedian does while you try to get his joke.

"Okay, well let's take you inside."

"Many many thankssss."

"What the hell was that all about?" asked Jane, standing up. "I've never heard you talk to snakes before!"

"It's a gift." Harry said, not daring to tell her where the "gift" came from.

Harry gently picked up the snake and walked with Jane back to the common room.

"What have you got there?" Ron asked, hurrying over. "Oh, it's a snake! Cool beans!" He grabbed it from Harry. "Wow, look at all these markings! It looks like it's wearing a cape!"

The snake chortled and said to Harry, "I wisssh they made capess in ssssnake ssssizes!"

"Is he talking to you?" Ron inquired.

"Yeah. He just says he'd like to be wearing a cape."

"Why don't you keep him in your room, Ron?" Harry suggested.

"Really? Cool!" Ron rushed off to put the snake in a tank.

Harry sat down in a chair with Jane.

"I think we didn't entirely finish what we were doing outside." Jane said with a sly smile.

"I agree." Harry said, and they started to kiss when Hermione stormed through the portrait hole. Seeing the love-birds in action was too much. She pulled out her wand and sent the two to opposite sides of the room.

"What the fuck was that for?" Harry cried, rubbing his head.

"For you! And you! Rubbing it in how everyone else in the god damn world is able to fall in love except me! You go around holding hands and shit, and you are probably laughing at me behind my back!"

Harry's eyes softened. Hermione was obviously enraged beyond belief, so he listened while she vented.

"And furthermore, if you think I won't fall in love before leaving this fucking school, you're WRONG! I know exactly who I want and I'm going to get him if I have to kill myself to do it!"

"Uh… Hermione…" Harry started, but was silenced by another blast from her wand.

"You shut up! You're the worst one! You know Ron thought me and you were destined for each other? That's the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard!"

"Please stop, Hermione, you're scaring us." Jane whispered.

"Oh looky, the new girl is frightened of me!" Hermione said, almost triumphantly. "How's this for scary?" she walked over to Harry and punched him in the arm. "What are you gonna do, bitch? I'm punching your BOYfriend! Come and stop me!"

But neither Harry nor Jane moved as Hermione delivered blow after blow to the cowering boy. Finally, her rage out of her, she bolted off to her dormitory, tears flooding the carpet in her wake.