The End, Or the Beginning?

Chapter 1: Why?  

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion so stop asking…seriously I don't Gainax does (Bucky grumbles under his breathe: lucky bastards). If I did own NGE it would still be going because I would've employed most of the Fic writers on this site o keep it going ^_^ any onto the fic!

The sun was shining brightly, illuminating what remained of Tokyo-3 making the rubble of buildings cast shadows on the dusty ground. The beams of light reflected off the Large Lake caused by the destruction of Evangelion Unit-00. There upon the shore of that very lake sat a boy, the Third Child. His brown hair blew in the wind as his blue eyes scanned the lake for answers.

He knew he would not find those answers here.

The question was the driving points of the last three days the one thing that kept him alive, that kept him sane. His mind replayed the events of the last year over and over again. The fights, the memories, the times of relative peace, his friends, smiles shared by all he knew, stolen glances at the ones he loved. As they neared the conclusion he found himself asking the same question.

Why?

Why had this all happened to him? Why not someone else? Why did he deserve to live instead of Kaoru? What was so special about him that he was chosen to live over his friends? These questions would not be answered, he knew that now, but he could hold on to the small hope that one day he would know the meaning. For now he would concentrate on morning the loss of his friends. Kaoru Nagisai, the Fourth Child…that's how Shinji will remember him, not as Tabris the 17th Angel but as his friend.

His heart ached at the image of the grey haired boy his age in the clutches of Uni-01 standing, awaiting death. He had the chance to destroy mankind, but he didn't. He had grown to love the life he had been denied since birth. He had enjoyed the feeling of having a friend, not three or four, just one. Shinji had found the first person who fully understood him for who he was, and he killed him. He didn't want to do it, but he had to he somehow found the strength to close his fist and end it.

He will be remembered in his heart, as long as he shall live.   

Another friend to morn for Rei Ayanami, the First Child. Though she was not dead her memories were, therefore the Rei that Shinji knew was gone. It was saddening how she had died to save his life only to come back not remembering who he was. He despised the irony of it all. He had grown to like Rei, maybe even to love her in one way or another. Now all that was left was a husk and a tarnished soul, never again to be the same as before.

She will be remembered with his soul for all eternity.

Shinji pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as the air became chilly. He now stared at the slowly descending sun in the distance, night would be near. His time was coming to an end and he would soon have to return to the safety of his home. Home, that word felt hollow now. The small apartment which he shared was what one could hardly call a home anymore. It had lost the most important requirement for that tittle, family.

Many people would say 'Home is where the heart is' if that was the case where was Shinjis' home? He knew the answer to that question for if home really is where the heart is he would find himself in hospital. That's where his heart was, the last remnants of an era, his last remaining friend, his love. For now he would return to his place of residence and tomorrow he would go home and not even god himself could pry him away.

The boy rose to his feet, taking one last look at the lake he sighed and turned for the long trek to the apartment. His thoughts raced through his mind as he travelled, he could no longer ignore them. He needed answers and he needed them now he knew the only person who could answer those questions, but he feared that man. Another person could provide a little light on the subject, but when he would arrive at his apartment she would not be there. The last that might know the answers he so desperately needed is gone for ever…Kaji.

If Misato was like a mother to Shinji then Kaji would have to be his father, always there to lend a hand. Kaji was one of the first people to stop and try to understand Shinji for who he was and he never tried to force him to do anything. Instead he showed the young Ikari that life was worth fighting for and that love of friends and family is worth saving. He gave him the courage to return to Eva and defeat the 14th Angel.

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"The Angels have been destroyed. What is to become o the Evas?" Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki asked from behind the desk in the large dark room.

"The angels were only the beginning" Gendo Ikari sat ahead of Fuyutsuki in a business chair at a small black desk. He had his arms in the trademark Gendo position (copyright Gendo position, Gainax) his hands entangled below his chin, elbows propped up on the table and his chin resting slightly on his hands.

"The committee will want the Evas in cold storage" Fuyutsuki frowned at Gendo from behind.

"The committee will not be a problem" Gendo replied his voice as cold and monotone as usual. "The Angels will return" the man ignored the audible gasp from his mentor and continued, "Unit-01 and the Third Child shall remain on standby. Have Dr Akagi released from the brig, have her start immediate Activation tests for Rei and Unit-02."

'What are you planning Gendo?' the sub-Commander of NERV thought as he found himself unconsciously accepting the orders. Like he had done for many years the old Sensei found himself questioning his former student and old friend.

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A young woman around the age of twenty sat at the small desk in the halls of the large hospital of NERV. It was early morning and her shift was coming up to an end. She smiled as her supervisor approached the desk with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "You look like you could use a coffee" Keiko smiled to her subordinate.

Ann smiled back and took the outstretched cup "thank you Keiko. I desperately needed one of these. Only one more hour." She looked down the hall curiously then back to her boss and friend "hey have you heard the rumours about the patient in 303?"

Keiko frowned a little "you shouldn't be listening to rumours Ann" she said in a mock stern tone. She too gazed down the hall in the direction of the patients' room "well" she leaned in closer to Ann. "If you heard that she was the pilot for one of those big robots than you heard right. Her name is Asuka Langley Soryu and she pilots the red one."

"Wow, why is she here?" Ann asked curiously "I mean I know she's in a coma but what happened to her?"

"I don't know really, but it's something to do with a mental breakdown" Keiko ran a finger through her black hair and sighed. "Poor kid, made to pilot to save our lives" She bent over the counter and frowned "has anyone come to see her?"

Ann shook her head and she grew a saddened face "it's been almost a week and apart from the Doctors no one has been to see her." Ann let out a small sigh as she turned to her friend "do you think she has any friends?"

Keiko sighed "well if she does they aren't that interested in seeing her that's for sure." The woman's face lightened up a bit "maybe she does have friends and they were just evacuated. But it still doesn't mean her parents shouldn't have visited or her fellow pilots."

Anns' eyes widened prompting her friend to turn on her heals and look behind her, what she saw was the growing figure of a teenager coming down the hall. She smiled as a young boy came up to the desk, his brown hair was scruffy and his eyes were practically glued to the floor. "Can I help you?" Keiko asked in a soft voice.

The young Ikari lifted his head and met the older woman's gaze "Ah…S-Soryus' room…please." His voice was shaky and he looked like he hadn't slept for days, now he was looking back Keiko could see his eyes were red, puffy and lined with black circles.

"Uh…oh yes, she's in room 303" Ann smiled and pointed down the hall "just down there young man." The boy said quick thanks and started to move but was stopped by Ann "ah…sorry only NERV personnel." The boy sighed loudly and produced a red card from his pocket. Ann gasped as she read the ID card 'Ikari, Shinji. First Child. Pilot Unit-01' she handed it back with a weak smile "sorry go right through."

Both women watched as the boy left the desk and headed towards the room on the far hall. "Well there is your fellow pilot" Ann said smiling slightly. "Did you see how he looked? Poor kid probably hasn't slept in days."

"He's been crying to" Keiko observed as she leaned against the counter "he must be torn up inside. It's a pity to see such a cute young man like that." The last comment earned her a glare from her friend "what? I was merely commenting that the girl is lucky to have a cute boy like that as a friend."

"Yeah, right" Ann giggled at her friends' reaction "I think you need to get a steady boyfriend."

"SHUT up YOU!!!"

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The room of a patient, dark, cold, lonely. The only sounds heard are the repetitive beep from the cardiograph that monitors the heart beat of the rooms' occupant. No light can reach the deep room, the window shut and covered to keep it like that. Even with the window open there would not be much light, only the synthetic glow of the Geo-Front above.

The door slides open quietly then closes again dispelling the glint of light that it creates. Shinji Ikari walks into the room with his head draped down and his eyes scanning the floor nervously. His gaze altered as he brought his head up to behold the person he came to visit. The young red haired girl lay in the hospital bed lifelessly, her skin is pale and her eyes are now dim, she is a mere shadow of her former self.

He smiles weakly then turns to find the small chair in which all rooms have. Once he was seated he began to talk quietly "Hi…Asuka. I know…it's been a while" he sighed and placed his hand on the bed. "Y-you should know something…the last of the Angels…is dead. We did it, we won." If they had indeed won why did Shinji feel so hollow inside?

"Why Asuka?" he sighed again turning his head away from the bed "why did you leave? W-was it me? D-did I do this to you…somehow?" the boys' dark blue eyes began to swell up with unshed tears. He forced them back by closing his eye lids trying to block the pain. Asuka had told him many times that crying was a weakness, that's what he felt. Weak.

"Wake up Asuka" he said quietly brushing his eyes with his other arm, "wake up and come back…don't leave me…alone." His voice cracked as a single tear escaped his emotional fortress "speak to me! Asuka…please. Come back, I'll let you call me Baka or stupid or a stooge…just call me anything, something." Tears now ran freely down his cheeks forcing him to close his eyes once again. He rested his head on the bed as he wept, Shinjis' hand tightly gripped Asukas' frail hand and he held on tight not wanting to let go, not wanting to give up. "Fight…Asuka."

There he wept, until overcome by sleep.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Yay! First chapter done. So what did ya all think? This is going to be a fic that continues from the death of the 17th Angel (Kaoru) and will completely ignore the movie EOE and last two eps. This will introduce new Characters later on and bring back some old friends. I hope I was able to write a depressed Shinji properly if anyone is OOC at this point let me know. Although I do plan OOC later on for certain characters. Well I'm going to get working on the next chapter…and for those of ya who have read my other fic Memories chap2 will be up soon just making final touches.

Until next time seya on da other side!