A story that is heavily inspired by the themes in a Shokugeki no Soma fic of a similar name "On Casual Commitments" by wishingforatypewriter. Originally a oneshot but I split it in two chapters for easier reading. Enjoy.

"Ne, Hikigaya-kun. Why haven't you proposed to me yet?"

I popped that innocent question during one perfectly quaint little Tokyo afternoon. The kind of afternoon that was so perfect and quaint, in fact, that you couldn't help but get yourself a warm cup of coffee, a good book, and snuggle up to your personal assistant while asking him an earth-shattering question.

Oh, but he doesn't like being called my assistant though.

With a quick sip, I gave a side glance to the only man in the world that has the privilege to be in my close personal space, as well as receiving such a wonderful question from a wonderful person such as myself. Obviously, my innocent little question had quite a profound effect on him as Hikigaya-kun's fingers froze atop of his keyboard, as if he was cursed by Medusa herself.

But just like clockwork, Hikigaya-kun's professionalism kicked in, and despite my left arm wrapped around his right one rather tightly, he began typing once more, unperturbed and unbothered like what happened five seconds ago didn't pass at all.

Naturally, I pressed him again.

"Hikigaya-kun."

"Hn."

A grumble. At least it was a response this time.

"Didn't you hear what I asked earlier?"

"I heard."

"And your response is?" I narrowed my eyes at his blatant disregard of my attention onto him. Honestly, the nerve of this man.

"…"

My eyes got sharper as I poked his cheeks, "Did you hear me? I asked why haven't you proposed to me yet?"

Again, it seemed that word just made him freeze up. His fingers were once again stiff in place as his eyes, dead as they were, were trying to find something else to focus on other than me. Ah, all these years together and I still know which buttons to push.

Then in a surprising twist, Hikigaya-kun coughed briefly into his hand before stating, "If you're talking about proposals then you need to be more specific, Haruno."

"…hah?"

"For instance, there's various types of proposals I can make to you such as a proposal to change up your decorations or your choice in instant coffee."

My eye twitched.

"Or perhaps a proposal in changing your diet for once," he shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing to talk to about, "Fried food aren't healthy for you, y'know."

Before I can get a word in, Hikigaya-kun cut me off, "So really, there's a lot of types of proposals that I can make that are of use to you."

"Hikigaya-kun."

"Yes?" he seemed rather pleased with his response but my narrowed eyes kept on glaring at him.

"I only want one type of proposal."

He gulped, "…which is?"

"A marriage proposal, Hikigaya-kun," I replied with clear emphasis on the key word, "A wedding. The joining of two souls till death do them apart."

"…technically, divorce can do that too."

"Aha! But for a divorce to happen, a marriage needs to happen first. And for a marriage to happen," Without much care for his personal space, I got closer and closer to Hikigaya-kun's face, making him forget about his work entirely, "There needs to be a proposal from one party to the other. Therefore, Hikigaya-kun, I'll ask one more time."

No response was sounded from Hikigaya-kun as he stared at me with gritted teeth and reddened cheeks.

"Why exactly haven't you proposed to me yet?"

This time, Hikigaya-kun clearly took more time in thinking up of a more appropriate response, his left hand reaching over to close the lid of the laptop so that all of his attention could be on my inquiry of his rather puzzling lack of commitment.

After much pondering, Hikigaya-kun replied, "Haruno."

"Yes?" I beamed at him, hoping for a positive response for once.

"Did you eat something wrong?"

"Nope! Answer the question please," my smile evidently strained as my eye twitched at his futile efforts to redirect the conversation.

Rubbing the back of his necks sheepishly, Hikigaya-kun responded, "You definitely ate something wrong."

"Why is that?"

"Because that's such a strange thing to ask."

"Strange?" I repeated the key word in his statement, narrowing my eyes into a playful glare again, "What strange is for a man and a woman our age to be cohabitating together without telling our families or being married."

"It's not all that strange," countered Hikigaya-kun, completely putting away his laptop and focusing his attention onto me, "Lots of cultures don't frown upon cohabitation. Besides, at the rate this housing market is going, it'd be stupid to buy a place just for yourself."

"That would be a good point if we're just sharing the house."

"We are though."

"I said just sharing the house, Hikigaya-kun," I retorted, "But we're doing way more than that; don't you agree?"

Another awkward cough into his hand.

"For instance, cooking together, eating together, relaxing together," I began listing off activities from the last week alone that Hikigaya-kun and I did with each other. Honestly, when not asked about tying the knot, Hikigaya-kun can be surprisingly agreeable.

"Those are just things roommates do anyways," he offered up a counterpoint, but I ignored it, still racking my brain for my things that we did.

"Oh right," I snapped my finger in faux-realization for dramatic effect.

"Hm?"

"Sleeping together. Many times," I said as Hikigaya-kun's face began to get redder and redder, "Many many times, in fact."

"Okay, okay. You don't have to repeat that last point," he finally relented with a frustrated huff, "Why are you focused on this anyways? We're basically doing things that couples do already."

"If we're doing that, why not make it official?"

"Is there any reason to?"

I placed my finger on my lips, thinking of some well-thought-out answers.

"I've always wanted to wear a wedding dress."

"…you gotta be joking."

"How dare you," I puffed my cheeks playfully, hitting him lightly on his shoulders, "That's a big dream of mine ever since I was a kid, y'know."

"You can literally just buy one right now."

"Then it'd just be a dress."

In an attempt to divert our conversation, Hikigaya-kun opted to ignore my response, "But why ask that question today? And why are you so intent on getting an explanation from me?"

"Because we've lived together for three years already, Hikigaya-kun," I explained, my hand lowering down to grasp his, to which he immediately grabbed back softly, "We do stuff that married couples do, help each other like married couples do, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future."

"So, I just thought why don't we just tie the knot and make it official? So, we can tell our family and stop living like we have something to hide."

He glanced at a random direction instead of at my face, perhaps hoping to distract himself from my explanation and my eventual question. Hikigaya-kun was always perceptive like that, and it's a really useful yet annoying trait to deal with.

"Unless…we're stopping this arrangement soon…"

My tone was more somber than I thought it'd be, and I instinctively squeezed Hikigaya-kun's hand, hoping that he'd understand that I wasn't trying to be antagonistic. I expected him to squeeze my hand back, but he never did, opting to just respond.

"That's not…it's complicated, okay?" he finally answered with a frustrated sigh.

"What is?"

He seemed to have an answer in mind already but hesitated, drawing in a deep breath before releasing it out, his eyes not even focused on me anymore and his hand not grasping mine either.

"What we are."

"And what exactly is us? To you?"

"Like I said, it's complicated," he repeated his earlier point.

"It doesn't have to be," I countered his argument before getting up into his face again, "Just tell me, Hikigaya-kun. What am I to you?"

To his credit, he didn't blush or get flustered at all. At most, I could see a tinge of red on his cheeks but he was otherwise composed. I could almost hear the gears whirring in his head as he tried to find any sort of answer that was satisfactory enough for me.

And, most importantly, for himself.

"You're certainly more than an acquaintance…"

Really, we're starting from there?

"Certainly more than a friend, I hope."

He chuckled, nodding with my statement, "Definitely more than a friend."

"So, a girlfriend?" I decided to be straightforward, to which his reaction was…less than ideal. His face scrunched up as a sigh escaped his lips.

"Well, that's…"

But being the impatient woman that I was, I decided to push things further, "So friend with benefits?"

"Well, I honestly wouldn't say that either."

I glared at him again.

"Fuck buddies then."

That evidently got a critical hit on him.

"Okay fine, girlfriend then, girlfriend," Hikigaya-kun stuttered, even though he was definitely more used to more vulgar things coming out of my mouth, "You happy now?"

"Slightly. Was that really so hard to say?"

"That's not the point. It's just…why do you want to hear that so badly?"

"Is it that bad that I want to know what I am to you? The person I spent three whole years living with?" I asked to which Hikigaya-kun immediately shook his head at.

"I thought you'd feel that labels are outdated and suffocating," he brought up a good point, "I mean, isn't that what you literally told me when we started this…thing? That we're just casual?"

"Aaah."

Well.

Couldn't really argue against that.

It's just a casual fling.

That was the words that I told myself and Hikigaya-kun when we decided that we would share an apartment together.

The words of someone that was looking to be casual partner.

The words of someone that was looking for a bit of fun in her life.

The words of someone who wasn't committed at all in the slightest.

In other words, me. The past me, to be exact.

That's how I presented myself to Hikigaya-kun back then, and I wouldn't blame him in the slightest that he kept that image of me in his mind ever since. It's not like he isn't a committed man; I'm sure he is. But I haven't exactly given him reasons to be committed to me, have I? So, my question at the start probably surprised him.

In fact, the way we met wasn't exactly the most romantic nor did it inspire any positive sentimental values.

A broken girl at an extremely low point in her life with her flames of ambition snuffed out.

A broken boy whose dead-fish eyes seemed more lifeless than usual, as if he was just surviving but not exactly living.

I didn't know what came over me that night nor did I try to figure it out. And I'd wager that it was the same for Hikigaya-kun. But somehow, someway, we were attracted to each other. Hung out with each other. Drank together. Spent the night together.

Then the next day together.

Then the next night.

The next week.

The next year.

He didn't question why I was doing this. And I didn't question what happened to him or why a certain little sister wasn't at his side. I suspected both of us wanted to keep it that way back then.

So, really, it wasn't his fault that he felt off when I asked him such a normal question that a 'girlfriend' would ask to her boyfriend. I wonder; even if he considered me his girlfriend, did he consider himself my boyfriend?

"Haruno?"

It seemed I must've been daydreaming for quite a bit because by the time Hikigaya-kun broke my stupor, my coffee had gone utterly and completely cold while the man by my side had a rather concerned look on his face.

"You alright?" he asked, worry etched on his face as I tried to compose myself.

"Ah, yes, yes I am," Waving away his concerns, I replied, "Just thinking about stuff, y'know."

"Is it still about marriage?"

I laughed. Or tried to, anyways. As boisterously as I could in order to distract Hikigaya-kun from the fact that I was indeed serious about this.

"Well, what kind of woman doesn't think about her own marriage, hm?" I raised my eyebrow, "But naaah, that was just a joke from my part. You know how much I love teasing you when I'm bored."

But instead of giving me the usual reaction, Hikigaya-kun simply asked, "You sure?"

I nodded, despite knowing that Hikigaya-kun didn't believe a single word I just said. I always hated how perceptive he is at the worst moments.

"Yep. Actually, if you want to know," I concocted another half-truth, "That question was because I had another thought about what I'd tell my parents if they saw you with me."

"Aah," Hikigaya-kun nodded, though I suspected that he still didn't fully believe me. However, he also isn't the kind of person to call me out on it if I didn't want to explicitly talk about it – the complete opposite of myself.

Jeez, how the hell did he even end up living with me for this long?

"You know how they are," I effortlessly lied to him. Those two didn't really care too much as to what I was doing after all, though they have been pestering me about him, "You already know how my mom is, and as for dad; well, he listens a lot to mom so they might as well be one person when you're talking to them."

"You're scared that they'll judge you?"

"Hmm," I took a few seconds to ponder, leaning back into Hikigaya-kun's shoulders, to which he wordlessly agreed to, "Not necessarily. They know who are you already, and on some level, they know that we are together but also not together, if you catch my drift?"

"I get you."

"Yeah, but I can feel that they're gonna ask sooner or later. Or just straight up pressure me," I gave a small shrug, turning my head upwards to look at my wonderfully handsome personal assistant, "Which is troublesome."

"Definitely."

"I've been telling them that we're just close friends," Again, I told Hikigaya-kun another half-truth. After all, that was what I had indeed explained to my parents, "But y'know, being as we are right now, I just…want something concrete to define us."

Before he could say anything, I cut him off, "Yes, even if labels are constricting. I still stand by that. But what we are or aren't right now is confusing me. And it'll be even more confusing if I have to explain to my parents."

I accidentally gave off a big sigh as I leaned my head into Hikigaya-kun's shoulders. By this point, he'd already stopped typing. His fingers hovered above his laptop, unmoving before he suddenly deposited it onto the coffee table in front of us.

Hikigaya-kun turned to me, his normally snarky eyes filled with deep contemplation as I detached myself off his arm.

"Hikigaya-kun?" I spoke as I noticed him staring at the floor, still deep in thoughts, no doubt.

"It's…" He pursed his lips, as if not satisfied with the words that he wanted to use, "It's not that I don't want to be with you."

Scooting a bit further away from him, I made sure to look directly at him as he explained. Or well, struggling to explain. This must be quite a bit of pressure on him after all.

"Then what is it?"

He stayed quiet for a good long while, not meeting my eyes, almost as if he felt guilty or something. But despite that, I didn't relent in trying to make him feel comfortable, even making sure to reach over and placed my hand atop of his.

His response was to squeeze my thumb gingerly.

"I guess a good way to say it is that…" Hikigaya-kun looked up, "I'm still trying to understand myself."

"…ah…"

"I'm still…not exactly sure what I want in my life," he squeezed my thumb more firmly, "Pretty sure you'd be in it, but I just don't want to rush it and regret it later on, y'know?"

"Mmhm," I nodded along, a tinge of disappointment must've appeared on my face.

"Especially with something serious like marriage," he explained further, breathing out a sigh as he did so, "Which requires a hell of a lot of commitment. And honestly, that kinda scares me."

I understood what he said. Completely.

Commitment sounded scary to me. Hell, it still does right now, but even so, the past me would've immediately swatted away the notion of being tied down to someone but as I am right now, I know what I want.

I know what I need.

And I want to be committed.

To Hikigaya-kun.

To us.

Then again…I completely understood where he was coming from. Especially considering the fact that the things he went through most likely put him off of being committed to someone.

"Jeez, you don't think I know marriage is a big commitment?!" I jeered jokingly at him, pulling my hand back so I can punch him in a playful manner in order to lighten the mood, "What; do you think that Yukinoshita Haruno just asks any man to propose to her? Honestly, you got a lot of nerves, mister."

"W-What, I don't mean it like that!" Hikigaya-kun retorted in kind, "I'm just saying that – why am I even explaining anyways? I know you know what I mean!"

"That I do."

"Then why did you ask me?"

"For fun."

"And punching me?"

"For fun," I repeated, a smug smile plastered on my face, "Also because you hurt my feelings."

"I doubt that," he grimaced to which I immediately wiped away an invisible tear off my cheek.

"You hurt me so, Hikigaya-kun," With a fake sniffle, I resigned to just plop myself onto his laps, given the fact that the pesky laptop was gone, "Now you have to pamper me to make up for it."

Looking up at him, Hikigaya-kun seemed more imposing than usual, as if he was staring at me like I was a child who accidentally painted the walls of the dining room, "You're serious."

"A hundred and ten percent serious," I replied with the most serious face I could muster. Surely, not eve an insensitive stoic person like him could resist such an adorable, wonderful, amazing, magnifi-!

"Ow!"

He bonked my forehead!

The nerve!

"What was that for?!" I shouted, still laying on his laps while holding my head in pain. For a guy who's so rough in bed, you'd think he'd make sure that nature of his stays in bed.

"For being such a tease."

"You love being teased though," I pouted harder.

"Debatable," His matter-of-factly way of saying that was irking me so much that I was about to give him a piece of my mind, if not for him cutting me off completely, "And besides, don't you have a trip to prepare for tomorrow?"

"How did you know?"

"You left your passport open and I saw a visa for…England?"

"Ah, that," I immediately grimaced, remembering that tomorrow, I would be embarking on a 3-day trip to London for a regional business meeting. Alone. With no Hikigaya-kun to accompany me.

How utterly detestable.

"Ara, Hikigaya-kun, I didn't know you were such a stalker."

"You literally left it open," he countered, "I just happened to see it."

"Still, you took the time to read where the visa was for. Don't tell me," I reached up to point at him before wiggling my finger playfully, "You want to go on a vacation with me?"

"It's your company trip. Why would I go?"

"For fun?"

"And risk you being fired over misuse of company's funds? I'll take a raincheck on that."

How thoughtful of him.

"Oh wow, you're such a considerate person, Hikigaya-kun," I poked his cheeks playfully before sighing and dropping my arms down, "But yes, company trip for 3 whole days. The rest of my team is gonna stay there for the week but I'm flying home the moment the meeting's over."

"Is it really that bad?" A tinge of concerned laced Hikigaya-kun's question.

"Not really, but I rather spend my time with you, y'know."

"How sweet."

"I know I am."

"So, do you need help packing?"

"Tch, at least say that you want to spend time with me on a vacation in a foreign land."

"That you want to spend time with me on a vacation in a foreign land."

I pouted.

He smirked.

"Hiki-smartass-kun."

"I know I am."

Another pout was sent his way as I gingerly got up from his comfortable laps, standing straight up and stretching my sore limbs. I was sure he was taking a look at me back there but I didn't care too much – that was the purpose of stretching after all.

"So, you still need me to help you pack or you already got everything prepared?"

"Already got it," I waved away his concerns, "We can go through my luggage together later."

"I see. Want me to send you off tomorrow?"

I gave him a smile, "Well, aren't you considerate?"

"Always has been. When's your flight?"

"1 pm," I checked my phone again just to be sure before setting it down on the table, "And since I'm leaving for three whole days tomorrow…"

"Hn?" Hikigaya-kun raised his eyebrow at my voice as I stood right in front of him before trapping him with both my hands planted firmly on the couch behind him.

"Why don't you give me a parting gift~?"

The lovely man in front of me grimaced, narrowing his adorably dead-fish eyes at his equally adorable roommate.

"I swear, you're insatiable, ya know that?"

His exasperated sigh and narrowed eyes would indicate that he was annoyed with little old me, but the firm grip his hands had on my hips told a whole different story.

And let's just say I was glad my flight was in the afternoon.

I hate rain.

London has extremely rainy weather.

Ergo.

I hate London.

So goddamn much.

Seriously, someone explain to me why the sky in this country seems like it's in a constate state of crying all the time?

When my plane landed, it rained.

When I took a cab to my hotel, it rained.

My first meeting with the team here, it rained.

My travel back to the hotel? Ding ding ding, it rained again!

"Are you seriously going to complain about the rain during our entire call?" A wonderful voice called out to me, interrupting my grand speech against the horrendous torrential downpour of depression that was ruining my trip.

Well, that and the fact that the only way I can see Hikigaya-kun was through Facetiming.

What a horrible trip.

"Why yes," I answered his question after a brief pause before plopping down on my soft bed, "Yes, I am."

"Oh goodie."

"And how was your day, dear?"

"Can't tell ya; haven't started it yet," Hikigaya-kun scoffed as he came into view again – shirtless, my favorite – before lathering up his face with shaving cream. Though all I could focus on was his upper body.

Could you blame me? Hikigaya-kun, despite seeming like a lanky beanstalk, has been putting in some work.

And as his sole roommate, I have the special privilege of seeing and feeling the result of said work.

"Have you been working out more?" I offhandedly remarked.

"A bit," He answered, still continuing his morning routine, inadvertently flexing his arms as he brushed his teeth, "Tobe want to get 'ripped' for this girl he likes and unfortunately, he forced me to keep up with his new sets."

Tobe, I don't remember who you are, but good job.

I stayed silent as he said that, offering no response and instead, decided to simply bask in the sight of a shirtless Hikigaya-kun. Sure, I felt those arms of his wrap around me during our more intimate times and have even wrapped my own arms greedily around his broad shoulders, but seeing it from afar like this, I was able to appreciate just how…sculpted he was!

In fact, I could just get lost in observing the minute details of his body.

Look at those subtle veins on his forearms.

The tasteful bulges of his biceps.

Oh my god…his toned stomach was even showing a peek of his V-lines.

I couldn't help but lick my lips. And could you blame me?!

My sightseeing was unfortunately interrupted when the target of my observation put his face right in front of the camera, eyebrow raised as he asked me in an incredulous tone.

"Are you going to perv on me during the entire call or will you actually tell me how your days went?"

"Well, excuuuuuse me," I pouted cutely, "You being shirtless is like this is the same as putting down an incredibly well-made dish in front of a Michelin reviewers and not expecting to get appreciated!"

"So, what? My body is now a plate of highfalutin food?"

"Well…" I fluttered my eyes at him, "You are looking extremely edible. I could just eat up your everything. And I do mean everything."

"…do you actually miss me that much or is it something else?" His voice had a hint of amusement towards it, as if he didn't expect his absence to weigh too much on me.

"Well~" I put a dainty little finger on my lips, thinking of a good way to signal how my heart long for him, "I miss my hug pillow soooo much right now."

"Aah, so I'm just a hug pillow to you then."

I took a few seconds to let the correct words form in my head until I found a satisfactory response.

"You're also my fuck pillow."

My eyes trailed down, just enough so Hikigaya-kun was able to catch me and adjust the camera enough that I was face to face with him again.

"You're actually horny."

"Incredibly so, yes," I admitted with a shrug.

His bemused face inadvertently caused me to let out a small smile. It's always fun to see the usually cool, calm, and collected roommate of mine be dumbstruck like this.

"Besides," I added, "Someone in this relationship has to ogle and appreciate the other party."

"And you think I don't do that?"

"Mmm, not really," I shrugged, "Like, I always tell you just how utterly munchable your everything is but I never hear you appreciate moi, y'know."

Raising an eyebrow, Hikigaya-kun gave his response, "I think the fact that I'm still sleeping with you speaks to how amazing you are, no?"

I narrowed my eyes.

He grimaced.

"I felt like I made a mistake."

"You did," I curtly replied, pouting again despite knowing that he didn't mean any negative connotations. But well, it was always fun to tease him, "But now you're making me sound as if the only thing good about me is my body."

"That's not what I said."

"Totally is," I replied curtly before asking again, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself, mister?"

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, averting his gaze from mine, "I mean…you were the one that wanted me to tell you what I like about you."

"Hmm?" I narrowed my eyes at him again.

"Fine, fine. My apologies," He seemed to have finish with his routine as he moved into the living room, settling down on our couch, "Should I properly appreciate you in your entirety then?"

"You may."

"And what do you want? An extensive description of why I like you or a 20-words summary?"

Interesting choices there, Hikigaya-kun. Mockingly interesting, if I might add.

"Hmm…" While I would want Hikigaya's kun verbose nature to completely describe what was so desirable about m, it would definitely be way more fun to see him struggle over what parts of me he likes.

And with that in mind…

"20 words it is!" I cheerfully declared, lying on my back as I stared up at the camera. For added effect, I even mad sure to just slyly tug my bathrobe just slightly so he could see some more skin, "Well, go on, Hikigaya-kun. Or do I need to send you a formal email?"

"You're unbelievable," he scoffed but still looking right at me, "Well, if I have to choose…"

I waited with bated breath as he mulled over his choice.

"It'd be your eyes."

"Pfft, is that it?"

"I'm saying that's your most striking feature. Your eyes," he explained, completely not taken aback by my scoffs at all, "You're always so calm and in control, but when you actually slip up from time to time, I could see your eyes change."

"How exactly?"

"They twinkle."

"Twinkle?"

"Yeah," Hikigaya-kun smiled softly, almost like he didn't notice it, "When you laugh as a courtesy, your eyes seem cold, but when you're actually happy, I could spot a little shine in them."

"Oh, really now?" This was interesting. I didn't know he was that observant…if he was telling the truth, of course.

"Really. For all kinds of emotions actually. And I'll be honest; I could get lost in them sometimes."

I gave an amused huff. Of all the things he could've chosen, he picked my eyes. Surely, he could've talked about my fluttering eyelashes, or my rosy pink cheeks or even my golden ratio of a body yet he chose to spin a soliloquy about my eyes instead.

Peculiar.

But what's what I like about him.

"Then exactly what emotion am I feeling right now, Hikigaya Hachiman?"

He stared at me for a while, trying to decipher the supposed twinkles in my eyes as I gave him a smug smirk. Oh well, if he got stumped over this simple question, I could always just tease him even more.

"You're extremely flustered."

"And why is that? Did the twinkles in my eyes give it away?"

"Nope, it's your cheeks."

!

I immediately used my free hand to cover the lower part of my face, blocking out Hikigaya-kun's views of my cheeks.

"Guess I was right," said Hikigaya-kun smugly.

"…"

"Haruno?"

"…you win this time," I reluctantly admitted behind my arm, peeking over it and seeing his self-satisfied smile at getting one over me.

"And I shall appreciate that victory. By the way, do you have a meeting tomorrow?"

Typical of him to just move on to the next topic in a blink of an eye. How insensitive.

"Yep."

"When?"

"8 am."

"Then shouldn't you sleep?"

"What are you; my mom?" I narrowed my eyes in annoyance.

"No, but I would appreciate it if you have a healthier sleeping schedule. Especially since I'm not physically there to force you to sleep."

"True. I would be a whole lot more tired and satisfied if you were here right now."

"Stop being so insatiable and sleep already. You got a big morning tomorrow," he chastised me again to which I just rolled my eyes at.

"Fiiiine! I'll sleep now then."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise," I extended out my pinky for emphasis, to which Hikigaya-kun did the same, "Goodnight, Hikigaya-kun. Good luck with your work later."

"Goodnight Haruno. Have a good sleep."

Click.

And once again, Yukinoshita Haruno was alone.

Aah, I miss him already.

As I plopped down onto the bed, I began obsessing over what he said earlier.

My eyes, huh? Considering what he said and what kind of person he is, I wouldn't be surprised if Hikigaya-kun was indeed telling the truth about the supposed twinkles in them.

But that begged the question.

If he was that observant about an insignificant detail that even I didn't notice, then why isn't he…more committed to me? We talk like a couple, walk like a couple so why exactly aren't we officially one? Is it a me problem?

Maybe I was being too forceful about this whole couple thing. Or perhaps, it was because I didn't act like how a committed girlfriend should. Sure, we started and built this relationship from how comfortable we are with each other physically and verbally. Hell, a day hasn't gone by where we don't banter with each other.

But maybe that was why he didn't want to label himself as my boyfriend? Because of how I act?

Should I mellow out more then? Be less overtly perverted and start teasing him less? But this is Hikigaya-kun; he'd definitely notice something's wrong if I do that. Besides, that would also mean changing the foundations of our relationship and basically, changing myself. But if I don't, there's a chance that that's the reason why Hikigaya-kun doesn't want to commit to me.

What an absolute conundrum…

Even as I decided to snap myself out of my self-wallowing and stop thinking about it, there was still a little speck of that conflict left in my head, burrowing deep into my brain and making its home there. Even as I finished my own night routine and turned off the lights, the thoughts of why Hikigaya-kun was hesitant on being committed to our relationship still haunted me.

And as my eyelids finally fell down while I clutched my hug pillow tightly, only one thought occupied my mind.

I still miss Hikigaya-kun.