Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or Ms. Congeniality

Mr. Congeniality By: Mal

||Location: A Gundam Base||

Heero: WE'VE GOTTA STOP OZ!?

Duo: Question?

Heero: Not now Duo . How are we gonna get a spy in?!

Quatre: A SPY!?

Wufei: Yuy! How the hell are we gonna get in!?

Duo: QUESTION?

Heero and Wufei: Not now Duo .

Quatre: What do you think Trowa?

Trowa: .

Heero: Great Idea Trowa! Only one of us will go!?

Wufei: Where?

Quatre: & WHO?

Duo: CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM!?

All: NO!

Heero: *looks at TV* Wait a minute . Oz's main Target has been L1 right .

Quatre & Wufei: Yeah .

Duo: CAN MY TRAIN LEAVE FOR THE URINATION STATION!?

All: NO!

Heero: Well they're having the Mrs. Colony Pageant in L1 which would be a perfect opportunity for OZ to interfere and take over the colony .

Quatre & Wufei: uh huh

Heero: don't you agree Trowa?

Trowa: .

Heero: Who will go you ask? I know the perfect person to be in the Pageant

Duo: CAN I GO ALREADY!?

Heero: Sure . If you go to the pageant .

Duo: HEERO! IM DYING OVER HERE!

Heero: Will you?

Duo: FINE! CANT A GUY TAKE A PISS WITH OUT GETTING BRIBED!?

Wufei: Maxwell as of now you are no longer a guy .

Heero: your new identity is Duet Maxwell

Quatre: Ms. L2

Duo: Does this mean I have to use the women's bathroom?

||Location: Ms. Colony Pageant Head Quarters L1||

Pageant Director: Hi I'm Mrs. Une the Pageant Director. You must be Mr. Yuy?

Heero: Yes. Just call me Heero

Duo:*to Quatre* doesn't she look familiar?

Quatre: *To Duo* you're right she does

Mrs. Une: Not what can I do for you gentleman?

Heero: Let's just keep this between us ok?

Mrs. Une: Alright

Heero: The organization OZ is probably going to interfere with the pageant

Mrs. Une: That would be terrible!

Heero: And we're the Gundam pilots and we were wondering if you would enter one of our spies into the pageant to protect the girls

Mrs. Une: I don't know

Heero: Well we'd also need to have our spy in the top 5

Mrs. Une in the top 5!?

Quatre: Maim we don't want to see any of the girls get hurt

Wufei: Yeah we do .

Heero: * kicks him*

Wufei: Owe. I mean yeah we do know how much this beauty pageant means to you

Mrs. Une: THIS IS NOT A BEAUTY PAGEANT! IT'S A SCHOALER SHIP PROGRAM!

Wufei: Alright onna! It's a schoaler ship program

Mrs. Une: Well of the contestants have been chosen from each colony

Trowa: .

Heero: Actually Trowa just said Ms. L2 got ran over by an 18 wheeler

Mrs. Une: He didn't say anything

All: Yeah he did

Mrs. Une: So who is your spy that you had in mind?

Duo: *raises hand*

Mrs. Une: What?! Him!?

Heero: Yeah is there a problem with that?

Mrs. Une: Yes! It's the MS. COLONY pageant!

Heero: Fine we'll let OZ blow it sky high

Mrs. Une: Fine as long as he doesn't come in looking like Marilyn Manson

||Location: Winner Mansion L4||

Heero: Alright Quatre what exactly is your plan?

Duo: Question

Quatre: Not now Duo. My old Charm and edict teacher is going to help Duo become the perfect young lady.

Wufei: This otta be good .

Duo: Question!?

Wufei: Not now Duo

Heero: When will he be here?

Duo: Can we eat already?

All: Not now Duo!

Quatre: Any minute now.

*someone walks in*

Quatre: Alright guys meet my friend Mr. Cain

Wufei: You wouldn't happen to be Michael Cain would you?

Mr. Cain: *has British accent* No my names Mark why do you ask?

Wufei: No reason

Mr. Cain: So where's the young lady who will be my pupil?

Duo:*with finger up his nose raises his other hand*

Mr. Cain: My god .

Quatre: Your pupil isn't exactly a young lady

Mr. Cain: I noticed

Quatre: This is Duo Maxwell

Duo:* sticks hand he stuck up his nose to shake hands*

Mr. Cain: A hand shake isn't necessary and how exactly do you expect uh . it to get in to win the pageant?

Wufei: That's where you come in

Duo: When are we gonna eat?

||At a dinner table||

Duo: I want some steak

Mr. Cain: Then ask for it

Duo: Oh do I have to

Mr. Cain: You're the one who wanted to eat

Duo:*thinking; What would Heero say?* Pass the damn steak or die

Mr. Cain: Now that's the perfect example of a way to get shot

To be continued