Title: Tenchi Muyo - Tokimi Strikes!
Author: Rowan Seven
Teaser: Lady Tokimi sets her diabolical plans in motion! Will Washu regain her memories? Will Tenchi grow a spine? Can Tsunami bring herself to stop watching soap operas long enough to help? Can Kagato be a good guy? Will the universe be saved? All this and the identity of Tokimi's avatar, the mysterious 'Z', revealed!
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Other characters belong to their respective creators. I am not making any money off of this story so please don't sue.
Notes: This story was inspired by snippets that have been released about the 3rd OAV series.
Tokimi's Inner SanctumTokimi: Hmmm, yes, an impressive record. Let's see, you hunted your quarry across the galaxy and when you finally caught up with them you completely overwhelmed them, killed the elder, and was just about to annihilate the younger when he…oh, that's not good. You seem to fall into the will-be-defeated-at-the-very-last-minute-by-an-angry-kid category. Unfortunately, you're just not what I'm looking for in an avatar. Be gone from my presence!
Darth Maul: You do not know the true power of the Dark Side! (Stalks off.)
Tokimi: (Sighs theatrically.) Alas, the time of my ascension is nigh but I lack an avatar to carry out my plans. Wherever will I find someone worthy of my power?
Hibiki Ryouga: (Enters wearing a lost and dazed expression on his face.) Where in the universe am I now?!!
Tokimi: (Blinks.) Hmm, you'll do. Hibiki Ryouga, prepare to be transformed!
Ryouga: (Confused.) What? Who are you and why are-AAAAAAAHHH!!! (Is struck by Tokimi's power.) Ranma, this is all your fault!!!!!!!!!!! (Falls unconscious.)
Tokimi: Mwhaha! Now that I have an avatar my plans can proceed. Arise Hibiki Ryouga, Avatar of Tokimi, and take your place by my side. Your first mission shall be the conquest of planet Jurai!
Ryouga: (Wakes up with five narrow and curved triangles arranged horizontally with their ends pointing down on the center of his forehead.) But why would I want to conquer a planet? I'm a martial artist. It's my duty to protect people, not annex planets.
Tokimi: (Sweatdrops.) But…but…you're my avatar! You're supposed to do what I say!
D3: (Suddenly appears.) Lady Tokimi does have a point, you know. (Disappears.)
Ryouga: (Blinks.) A giant floating head just told me I should follow the orders being given by the semi-translucent top-half of a woman floating in front of me. I don't know what's worse, no one here having a complete body or my not finding anything weird about this.
7th Shadow: (Snickers.)
8th Shadow: (Elbows the 7th Shadow in the side.)
Tokimi: (Gets an idea and turns mournful eyes on Ryouga.) Pleeeeeease, Ryouga? It's only one tinsy winsy planet. All I want to do is get revenge upon my sister who trapped me in the darkness outside the universe, without a single friend to keep me company. It was dark…and cold…and lonely. Oh, please help me! I gave you the power of the Light Hawk Wings and even cured your Jusenkyo curse! Surely that counts for something? (Cries.)
Ryouga: (Embarrassed and feeling a little guilty.) Please…don't cry. I'm sorry. Oh, all right! I'll go conquer Jurai for you. Just stop crying already. Man, I've really got to learn to stand up to women…(Begins to walk off.)
Tokimi: (Beams.) OH THANK YOU! Thank you very much! You're so kind! Hey, where are you going? Jurai is _that_ way! (Indicates the direction opposite from the one Ryouga's currently proceeding in.)
Ryouga: (Sheepishly.) It is? Eheheh, sorry. (Turns around and walks off in the right direction this time.)
Tokimi: (After Ryouga has left.) Mwhahahahahahahahaha!!! None can resist my charms! Soon, Tsunami, you shall feel my anger and regret the day you imprisoned me. I shall have my revenge! Mwhahahaha-
D3: Lady Tokimi, you're ranting again.
Tokimi: -hahahaha! I don't care! I haven't felt this good in millennia! Mwhahaha!
Meanwhile, on Jurai…
Ryouga: Excuse me, but is that the Palace of Jurai's throne room? (Points at a gigantic door.)
Juraian Guard: Why, yes it is. Do you have an appointment?
Ryouga: I believe so. Check under Lady Tokimi.
Juraian Guard: (Examines a computer screen.) Hmm, yep, here it is. Avatar of Lady Tokimi, scheduled for a dramatic entrance at 9 o'clock. Go on in any time you want. Remember, the more dramatic the better.
Ryouga: (Considers this.) I see. In that case, you might want to stand back. (Raises his left index finger and lays it against the door.) Bakusai Tenketsu! (Door explodes into tiny fragments, forming a dust cloud.)
Juraian Guard: Congratulations. Now go storm the next room and make supervillains everywhere proud. Good luck.
Ryouga: Thanks. (Enters the dust cloud.)
Emperor Azusa: (Sitting on his throne.) Hmm, it appears that the doors have been blown up. I can only surmise three possible explanations for this: 1. A former student of Washu's has stolen her genetically enhanced termite farm and unleashed it upon Jurai in the hopes of learning the secret behind our power. 2. Funaho's and Misaki's fanboys have pooled their resources to purchase explosives and are storming the palace for the opportunity of seeing them in person. 3. Some insanely powerful agent of an unknown but vengeful cosmic entity with a grudge against Lady Tsunami has been dispatched with orders to challenge me and conquer the planet. Since 1 and 2 have already occurred in untold and completely unrelated side-stories I'm guessing that it must be 3.
Ryouga: (Slowly exiting the dust cloud as melodramatic music swells.) Emperor Azusa of Jurai, I am Hibiki Ryouga, Avatar of Lady Tokimi and instrument of her vengeance. I have come before you with an ultimatum: surrender the planet of Jurai or face defeat by my hands. Know this, however: my power is far beyond yours for the very power of Jurai that flows through your veins Tokimi is free to dispense with as she pleases. Against the might of Lady Tokimi you are but a mote and stand not a chance.
Lady Misaki: (Claps) That was very menacing and dramatic of you! I'm scared. Great job! You should be an actor, you know. Does Lady Tokimi give you paid vacations? Perhaps you could pursue it in your free time-
Lady Funaho: Misaki, I don't think now is an appropriate time for this. He is going to try to defeat our husband and conquer our empire, after all.
Lady Misaki: But stuff like that happens all the time Funaho! Why, it was just a couple months ago that Yume-
Lady Funaho: Silence, Misaki. We're not supposed to discuss the manga. This story is based on the OAV animated series, and if the author includes the manga as cannon he'll have to accept the True Tenchi Novels as cannon too to be fair, and if he does that he'll have to go back and completely rewrite Kagato's origin.
Minagi: (Suddenly appears for no apparent reason.) Oh phooey! And here I was hoping that I'd get to play a major role in this story. Alas, the life of a noble space pirate is fraught with peril and disappointment.
Ibara: (Also appears for no apparent reason.) At least you've been featured in several fanfictions, and at your worst you can always leech off of Ryoko's popularity since you are her daughter and all. I, on the other hand, only have a significant role in _one_ fanfiction, according to my count.
Minagi: Well, yeah, but you're just an adult Tenchi clone. You really shouldn't expect too much.
Ibara: (Angrily.) I'm not a Tenchi clone! Our resemblance is purely coincidental! I use a staff, and he uses a sword! I was even born more than 700 years before him!
Emperor Azusa: Ahem. (Clears throat to get everyone's attention.) If the lot of you are done breaking the fourth wall, I have a challenge to accept and a response to give.
Ibara: My apologies, your majesty. It's just that it really ticks me off when people call me a Tenchi clone.
Emperor Azusa: Don't worry, I understand perfectly. If I was compared to that peasant on a regular basis I'd be upset too. Hmmm…(Ponders.) You wouldn't be interested in marrying Aeka, would you? You're of good enough blood, and it seems that the audience expects me to throw various suitors at my eldest daughter in an attempt to prevent Tenchi from becoming the heir to the throne. I might as well get that character requirement out of the way now.
Ibara: I'd be honored, you majesty, but I'm not over Ryoko yet. Ask me again in a couple of centuries if both Aeka and I are still single.
Lady Misaki: (Appears less than a foot in front of him and glaring at him angrily and scarily.) Are you saying that my dear, sweet, little Aeka isn't good enough for you?!!
Ryouga: Why do I get the feeling that I'm being completely ignored here?
Ibara: (Sweatdrops.) Ah ha ha, Minagi, some help, please?
Minagi: (Looks and sees the predicament that he's in.) Oh, all right, but only because you're a friend of mother. (Teleports beside him, grabs him by the arm, and they both disappear.)
Lady Funaho: Well that was certainly diverting.
Emperor Azusa: Indeed. The author managed to fill almost an entire page with that segment. Now, where was I? Ah yes, I remember now. (Stands up from his throne and looks straight at Ryouga.) Vile trespasser, your words and actions shall not be treated with impunity. You have dared to challenge the ruler of Jurai. Prepare to feel the consequences of such actions.
Ryouga: So, it is a fight you desire then. Heh, far be it from me to disappoint. Your defeat is imminent. (To the Juraian guard stationed outside.) How am I doing so far?
Juraian Guard: All right, I guess. A few of your lines could've been better though. Also, you didn't laugh maniacally.
Ryouga: (Blinks.) Was I supposed to?
Lady Misaki: (Enthusiastically.) But of course! It's part of the job! How many villainous henchmen do you know that don't laugh maniacally every now and then anyway?
Ryouga: Well, there's-
Lady Misaki: Forget I asked. Besides, shouldn't you and my husband be trying to beat each other into senseless bloody pulps right now? Shame!
Ryouga: (Sweatdrops.) This isn't exactly how I imagined this happening…
Emperor Azusa: (Sighs.) You get used to it after awhile. (Summons a sword.) Let the gratuitous violence commence. (Attacks Ryouga.)
Ladies Funaho and Misaki: (Now wearing cheerleading uniforms and waving pompoms.) Give us an A! Give us a Z! Give us a U! An S! Another A! What does that spell? AZUSA! Go Azusa! Crush the infidel!
Ryouga: And I thought Nerima was weird. (Blocks, counterattacks, and dodges until a pretty good fight is underway. Surprisingly, Azusa seems to be winning until-) Most impressive, Emperor of Jurai, but not nearly good enough. Feel my true power! (Generates 5 light hawk wings and a light hawk umbrella.)
Emperor Azusa: (Incredulously.) A light hawk umbrella? What's next: light hawk canes? Light hawk wristwatches? I know, how about a light hawk yo-yo! What is the universe coming to…
Ryouga: (Smiles grimly.) That is for Lady Tokimi to decide. Prepare to fall. SHI…SHI…HOUKOUDAN!!! (A blast of acidic green light is shot from the center of Ryouga's light hawk wings at Azusa.)
Emperor Azusa: D*mn. (Gets blown into a wall and falls unconscious.)
Ryouga: Now that the king has fallen, Jurai is Tokimi's! Praise be to her name! (Frowns.) These out of character statements are really beginning to annoy me. Ranma, I don't know how yet, but somehow this is all your fault!
Lady Funaho: (Wearing her royal robes once again.) I hate to interrupt your…rant, but I was wondering what you're planning on doing with us.
Ryouga: What am I planning on doing with you two? (Thinks about this question for a moment.) Hmm, I guess I'll lock you in the dungeon. (Turns his head to speak to the Juraian Guard outside the broken door.) There is a dungeon here, right?
Juraian Guard: Well duh! What kind of galactic monarchy would the Masaki family be if their palace didn't have a dungeon?
Lady Misaki: (Also wearing her royal robes again and with an irate expression on her face.) LOCK US UP IN THE DUNGEON?!! (In true anime fashion, as Misaki approaches Ryouga in anger she seems to grow larger and larger while Ryouga appears to shrink. When she finally reaches Ryouga, Misaki is towering over him.) HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR TRADITION?!!
Ryouga: (Frightened even though he still has 5 light hawk wings protecting him.) Well, what would you have me do? Killing you would be dishonorable and suicidal when one takes into account your legions of fanboys on this planet.
Lady Misaki: (Returns to normal size with a sweet and innocent expression on her face.) Well, typically if someone were to defeat our husband and conquer Jurai they'd do this to us…(Whispers several things into his left ear that, since this story is rated PG-13, cannot be detailed.)
Ryouga: (Now beat red with a nosebleed and appearing a little wobbly.) That's…sick. Why would anyone want to do that?
Lady Misaki: (Angry and towering over Ryouga again.) ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT SEXY?!!
Ryouga: (Sweatdrops and, realizing that he has been backed into a corner, carefully considers what response he should give when he's saved by the hordes of Misaki and Funaho fanboys.)
Misaki and Funaho Fanboys: (Trample over Ryouga as they rush into the throne room.) Ladies Misaki and Funaho, as soon as we heard that Azusa had been defeated and that your very lives were at stake, we assembled from all corners of the Empire to come to your rescue! Come, we'll take you to our hidden base where you'll be under our 'personal' protection and where you can 'reward' us for our loyalty and valor!
Lady Funaho: Oh no, they've found us! Quick, grab Azusa and let's go Misaki! (Runs away.)
Lady Misaki: Right behind you Funaho! (Grabs Azusa, drapes him over her right shoulder, and runs after Funaho.)
Misaki and Funaho Fanboys: They're running away! Obviously all the excitement and our presence have overwhelmed their delicate sensibilities. Regardless, it is our enviable duty as loyal Juraians to protect them. After them! (Leave in pursuit of the two Queens.)
Ryouga: (Picks himself off of the floor.) (Weakly.) You'd think my superhuman endurance and light hawk wings would've protected me from that. Oh well, at least one problem is solved. Medic. (Falls back onto the floor.)