Title: Tenchi Muyo - Tokimi Strikes!
Author: Rowan Seven
Teaser: Lady Tokimi sets her diabolical plans in motion! Will Washu regain her memories? Will Tenchi grow a spine? Can Tsunami bring herself to stop watching soap operas long enough to help? Can Kagato be a good guy? Will the universe be saved? All this and the identity of Tokimi's avatar, the mysterious 'Z', revealed!
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Other characters belong to their respective creators. I am not making any money off of this story so please don't sue.
Notes: This story was inspired by snippets that have been released about the 3rd OAV series.
At that exact same time but at the Masaki Shrine on Earth…
Tenchi: (Plowing the carrot field and speaking in an angry tone.) Tenchi, plow the field. Tenchi, help Washu in the lab. Tenchi, practice your swordsmanship in the freezing cold rain while evading the lightning that will try to strike you as I calmly observe your progress comfortably from the house. Why do I put up with all this? Can't Grandpa ever give me a break? (Sets his hoe on the ground.) Well, I'm not going to take this any longer! I'm going to stand up to him for a change! Next time I see him I'll-
Grandpa Katsuhito: Tenchi, you aren't slacking off are you?
Tenchi: Aaah! (Grabs his hoe and resumes plowing the field with alacrity.) Not at all Grandpa! (Smiles brightly.) I was just taking a moment to admire the sky and appreciate what a beautiful day it is today, just like you taught me!
Katsuhito: Hmmm…(Turns around and heads back to the house. Before Tenchi can breathe a sigh of relief he stops and turns his head to look back at him.) Be that as it may, don't think that the beauty of this day will get you out of your afternoon practice with me. As a matter of fact, I think I'll extend practice an hour later than usual today.
Tenchi: But why Grandpa?! I have things I want to do today!
Katsuhito: (Does his mysterious old man act.) Trust me, Tenchi. I sense an ill wind blowing, and I fear that if you're not ready we'll all fall.
Tenchi: You said the exact same thing last week, and the only intruder we found was that friendly door-to-door salesman!
Katsuhito: (Shudders.) Have I taught you nothing, boy? Never underestimate the power of a friendly door-to-door salesman! Doing so could lead to your own downfall! (Leaves.)
Tenchi: (Goes back to plowing the carrot patch.) Why me?
Inside the House…
Ryoko: (Holding a spoon laden with baby food and facing Mayuka.) See the spaceship? It's yummy! Here comes the spaceship! (Tries to feed Mayuka the baby food.)
Mayuka: Gogogaga! (Seeing Ryoko's lack of reaction, she shoots her with an energy blast.)
Ryoko: (Singed.) This seems strangely familiar somehow…
Sasami: Lunch is ready! Hey Ryoko, do you know where my sister is?
Ryoko: I think she's (Coughs.) outside.
Outside on the Shrine Steps…
Aeka: (Raking leafs.) Oh Lord Tenchi, how I wish I were bold enough to tell you how I truly feel. Day after day I watch you and protect you from that…monster woman, keeping my agonizing silence and wishing that you'd return my love. Then we would go to Jurai and-(The Yagami appears overhead.) Oh no, not again. Everyone take cover!
Mihoshi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Kiyone: Mihoshi you idiot! What did you do this time?!!
Mihoshi: I'M SOOOOOOOOOORRYYYYYYYYY KIIIYOOONEEEEE!!!
Yukinojo: (Sighs.) Impact in 5 seconds. Once again we're going to hit the lake, surprise of surprises.
Yagami: (Nosedives into the lake.) SWHOOM!
Washu: (Heading towards the lake.) Once again my brilliant intellect is required to extricate Mihoshi and Kiyone from the predicament the former put them in. The work of a super genius is never done! (Pulls out her holographic computer from her pocket dimension and presses a red button. The Yagami slowly rises out of the lake and is gently lowered onto the ground.)
Washu Puppet A: (Appears on Washu's right shoulder.) You're a genius Washu!
Washu Puppet B: (Appears on Washu's left shoulder.) You're the greatest Washu!
Washu: I am, aren't I? Hahahaha!
Later...
Tenchi: (Sitting at the dining table with the rest of his 'family'.) This rice is great Sasami! (Takes another bite.)
Aeka: Indeed. (A tad jealously.) Your talent in the kitchen is amazing, sister.
Sasami: (Laughs.) Think nothing of it! I'm just glad that we can all get together as one happy family! (A gloomy expression briefly crosses her face before her usual cheerful expression reasserts itself.)
Kiyone: (Noticed Sasami's temporary frown.) Hey, Sasami, are you all right?
Sasami: (Still smiling.) I'm great. Just had a bad dream is all. (Remembers her dream...)
Darkness, utter and complete. Sasami is in the center of it, looking around her in fear. Occasional flashes of Tokimi, Tsunami, and Adult Washu appear. Kagato rides by on a bicycle, rings the bell, and turns to wave before crashing into the Souja. An outline of 3 light hawk wings surrounding him are briefly discerned as he, the bicycle, and Souja all fade away.
Suddenly Jurai appears in brilliant clarity, clouds swirling. The planet spins faster and faster as a dark cloud envelops it. Soon it is completely covered in darkness. Sasami screams, and the sound of her panic reverberates throughout the environment as she too falls into the darkness.
Time passes. A dim light appears. Following it, Sasami eventually finds herself heading towards a bar counter. Two figures are sitting in stools and drinking from crystal cups. The first one is Ryouga, and the second is Ifurita (from the TV series). The two seem to be carrying on a pretty loud conversation.
Ryouga: (Takes a sip of his drink.) And then she ordered me to obtain all the candy on the planet! Of course, she didn't give me any money at all, and I ended up having to pawn who knows how much of my stuff to afford it all! What does she need with all that candy anyway? You'd think she hadn't had any sweets in thousands of years the way she's acting.
Ifurita: (Takes a sip of her own drink.) I know just how you feel! Why, the last time Master Jinnai ordered me to destroy a city, the people wouldn't evacuate! Do you realize how difficult it is to annihilate an entire city with people still there? I had to do it building by building, moving everyone out of them individually! You'd think that after the first five blew up people would get the message, but no! They refused to leave! And then the three priestesses showed up! All in all it took me over 12 hours to finish the job!
Ryouga: (Takes another sip of his drink.) Yeah, it's those unreasonable demands that really bug me! Steal this, destroy that, conquer this. The way they carry about you'd think they want us to kill people and commit crimes or something.
Ifurita: (Laughs.) That's a silly idea! They'd never want us to do something so…not nice!
Ryouga: (Laughs too.) Yeah, what _was_ I thinking?
Ifurita: (Conspiratorially.) But you know what bothers me the most? The maniacal laughter! (Impersonates Jinnai's laugh.)
Ryouga: (Winces.) Yikes! That _is_ bad! That's even worse than Kodachi's laughter! The only time I've heard laughter more disturbing than that was when…(Begins a flashback.)
Ifurita: (Whacks Ryouga over the head with her staff.) No double-flashbacks! (Flashback sequence dissolves.)
Ryouga: (Rubs the back of his head with his right hand and speaks in a puzzled tone.) We're already in a flashback? I thought this was a dream.
Ifurita: Actually, it's a memory of a dream. Therefore, it's technically a flashback.
Ryouga: Really? Then that means my target must be around here somewhere. (Swivels around in his stool and spots Sasami.) Ah, there she is! (Puts down his drink, gets off his stool, and stands up.) Well, Ifurita, it's been fun. You brew a great cup of tea.
Ifurita: (Waves.) I had a fun time too Ryouga! Good luck with your life and remember: good is bad and evil is nice! Bye! (Disappears with the drinks of tea, stools, and the counter.)
Ryouga: (Facing Sasami and reading a slip of paper.) Frighten little girl. (Looks up.) How am I supposed to do that without being dishonorable? (Faces Sasami.) Er, hi! Er…boo! Boogaboogabooga! (Notices Sasami's extremely unafraid expression.) Mmmm, maybe this will work. (A potent, frightening, and dark bluish green aura springs into existence around him, its edges seemingly clawing and grasping at the air. 5 light hawk wings appear, circling in front of him. The triangular tattoos on his forehead now pulsating with the same color of his aura, a light hawk umbrella materializes in his outstretched left hand. The entire dreamscape is now shuddering from the power Ryouga's releasing.) Mwhahaha! My lady's day is dawning, young vassal! Soon the universe shall know and respect the name of Lady To- (The dreamscape explodes.)
Sasami: (Wakes up screaming.) Aaaaaah! (Looks around her and realizes that she's in her bed.) Just…(Breathes heavily.)…a dream.
Ryouga: (The sound of his voice is just barely audible.) Well, I guess that worked.
Flashback sequence ends.
Noboyuki: (Curiously as he puts down his drink.) In a completely unrelated tangent, what continuity does this story take place in? It appears to be the OAV series after the second Tenchi movie, Manatsu no Eve a.k.a The Daughter of Darkness, but Washu's puppets from the TV series have made an appearance.
Mihoshi: (Gasps.) Why would Washu mess up continuity like that? (Stops eating and points her right index finger at Washu.) Shame!
Washu: (Laughs nervously.) Hehehe…it's not that serious an offense! Besides, these puppets are great!
WashuA: Thanks Washu! You're the best!
WashuB: The best of the best!
Washu: (Smiles.) See what I mean? Besides, why'd you even bring it up? Not many people would care about the addition of two puppets.
Noboyuki: Do you realize how few lines I have in this story? It was either mention the puppets or sit through breakfast being almost completely ignored and silent, and Dad is already doing that. (Casts an apologetic look at Katsuhito who glares back.) At any rate, to make sure that there aren't any other non-canonical elements present I suggest-
Washu: (Interrupts.) -using my new interdimensional positronic nuclear spatial continuity checker! Mwhahahaha! I'm such a genius!
Noboyuki: Actually, I was going to suggest a-
Katsuhito: (Also interrupts.) -roll-call. (Grins smugly at Noboyuki's annoyed expression.)
Noboyuki: (Irritably.) Yes, as I was about to say before Dad stole my line, I suggest we perform a roll-call. That way we'll know who is and isn't here. When I call your name say something so I'll know you're here. Tenchi?
Tenchi: Here.
Noboyuki: Katsuhito, also known as Yosho?
Katsuhito: (Sarcastically.) Oh joy, another line. I'm being unusually verbose today.
Noboyuki: (Rolls his eyes.) Sasami?
Sasami: (Cheerfully.) Present!
Noboyuki: Washu?
Washu: Alas, the greatest scientific genius in the universe is reduced to being party to such a primitive method of ascertaining the logic and sensibility of this fanfiction universe when it's obvious that the best solution is-
Noboyuki: (Cutting Washu off.) I'll take that as a yes. Mihoshi?
Mihoshi: All your base are belong to us!
Noboyuki: …O-kay. That made little sense. Ryo-ohki?
Ryo-ohki: Miya!
Noboyuki: Azaka and Kamidake?
Azaka: We are-
Kamidake: -here.
Noboyuki: Aeka?
Aeka: Present.
Noboyuki: Ryoko?
Ryoko: Here and at my darling Tenchi's side! (Teleports next to Tenchi and glomps him.)
Aeka: (Angrily.) Release Lord Tenchi from your despicable clutches you monster woman! (Summons logs. The typical Aeka/Ryoko battle commences.)
Noboyuki: (Sighs.) While those two are fighting I might as well move on. Hmm, the regulars seem to be taken care of. I guess I'll list movie and non-OAV next. Kiyone?
Kiyone: (Sighs.) Yes, I'm here and stuck on this planet with Mihoshi as my partner…(Continues rant.)
Noboyuki: (Quietly and to himself.) As if we hadn't all heard that a dozen times before. (Louder.) Mayuka?
Mayuka: Waah!
Noboyuki: (Smiles.) Awww, that's my cute little granddaughter! Now, how about Sakuya?
Silence.
Noboyuki: I guess she's not in this story. How about Yugi?
More silence.
Noboyuki: Hmm, it appears that this fanfiction doesn't contain any elements of Tenchi in Tokyo also known as Shin Tenchi at all. I know some people will be happy about that. How about the human versions of Azaka and Kamidake?
More silence.
Noboyuki: Apparently there's no need for knights here. (Laughs at his joke.) Well, that appears to be about everyone-
Little blonde girl: Hey, you forgot about me!
Noboyuki: (Surprised.) Did I? Who are you?
Little blonde girl: (Laughs maniacally.) I am…the magical girl of love and ambition, Pixy Misa! Wahaha! And animal familiar, Rumiya! (A purple bird lands on her left shoulder.)
Rumiya: (Waves his left wing.) Hi!
Noboyuki: I see. Washu, what have you done this time?
Washu: Why am I the suspect here?
Kiyone: Who else has the means to transport a character from the Magical Project S series here?
Washu: Point. Okay, maybe one of my experiments with the transdimensional locater didn't go exactly as planned, but how was I supposed to know this would happen? Besides, what's the worst that could happen? (A wall falls down. Silhouetted by the bright light of day is a young and blonde female adolescent wearing a sailor fuku and followed by a white cat.)
Blonde adolescent: I am Sailor Venus, and in the name of love and the planet Venus (Poses dramatically throughout her speech.) I shall punish you! I'm the magical girl of love, not you!
Pixy Misa: Mwhahaha! Let's take this outside little girl!
Rumiya: You're going down cat!
Artemis: Don't forget where you stand on the food chain bird! (They all go outside.)
Washu: (Blinks rapidly for a moment as lengthy speeches, flashing lights, love-love monsters, and magical attacks are seen and heard outside. Realization suddenly dawns and she bangs her head against the table.) D*mn it, I should've known better than to say 'what's the worst that could happen?' Whenever something like that is said, the worst _does_ happen!
WashuA: An innocent mistake, Washu!
WashuB: Even the best can err at times!
WashuA: You're still the greatest Washu!
WashuB: The greatest!
Washu: Thanks puppets!
Noboyuki: (Glumly.) Well, now that I've had my several lines of dialogue I'll just have to resign myself to being practically nonexistent for the rest of the story. (Sighs.) Such is the life of the main character's father…
Mihoshi: Did someone just say something?
Noboyuki: Arrgh! Come Azaka and Kamidake, since we're just going to be ignored for the rest of the story we might as well enjoy our insignificance. Let's go to town. That way we can avoid the destruction, combat, and mayhem that should be descending any minute now AND see a movie! (They leave.)
Tenchi: (Takes another bite of his rice, doing his best to ignore the battling Ryoko and Aeka behind him.) So Kiyone, anything of importance happen in the galaxy lately that will probably involve us in some large and significant event and span 6 OAV episodes?
Kiyone: (Thoughfully.) Well, I did overhear some rumors about a cosmic entity's chance to break into this universe coming up soon. I also heard something about Jurai being conquered by a single individual with absolutely no sense of direction who bought all the chocolate on the planet and banned the eating of porcine species. (Smiles artificially.) Of course, these two tidbits of information are so improbable that they are probably false, and even if they're not they're almost certainly unrelated.
Tenchi: (Laughs good-naturedly.) Yeah, you're right. What are the odds of any of us getting caught up in something like that?
Washu: (Takes out her computer and inputs several calculations.) I'd say 1.0000000001 to 1.