Title: Tenchi Muyo - Tokimi Strikes!
Author: Rowan Seven
Teaser: Lady Tokimi sets her diabolical plans in motion! Will Washu regain her memories? Will Tenchi grow a spine? Can Tsunami bring herself to stop watching soap operas long enough to help? Can Kagato be a good guy? Will the universe be saved? All this and the identity of Tokimi's avatar, the mysterious 'Z', revealed!
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Other characters belong to their respective creators. I am not making any money off of this story so please don't sue.
Notes: This story was inspired by snippets that have been released about the 3rd OAV series.
The doorbell rings.
Mihoshi: I'll get it! (Walks around the still battling Aeka and Ryoko and heads for the door, somehow avoiding all the energy discharges and floating logs as only Mihoshi can. She opens the door. Kagato is on the other side.) Hi! I'm Mihoshi! Welcome to the Masaki Residence! Say, you look awfully familiar. Have we met somewhere before?
Kagato: (Sweatdrops.) Well, I did kill Tenchi once and almost succeeded in capturing Tsunami. Does that ring any bells?
Mihoshi: (Thinks for a moment.) Oh, I remember you now!
Kagato: Good. In that case I'll-
Mihoshi: You're Mr. Kazuma the chef and restaurant owner!
Kagato: (Left eyebrow twitches.) No, I'm not.
Mihoshi: Oh, then you must be his son Kazuma Kagato! My, how you've grown! Why, it was just a few months ago that you were competing against Sasami in that junior cooking contest!
Kagato: (Staring at Mihoshi incredulously.) You really are overworked. Look, I am Kagato, former student of Washu and destroyer of ruins. I have personally destroyed several colonies and planets, stolen countless precious artifacts, and forced Ryoko to eradicate and appropriate many more. I am wanted across the universe and am an A-class criminal.
Mihoshi: (Still smiling.) Nope, that still doesn't sound familiar.
Kagato: (Blinks furiously.) I said your performance stinks during our first encounter.
Mihoshi: (Frowns and gasps.) Wait a minute, you're the A-class criminal Kagato, wanted across the universe for destruction of ruins and space piracy!
Kagato: (Rolls his eyes.) Finally illumination dawns! Now, if you would-
Mihoshi: But you're dead! Tenchi sliced you in half with his sword!
Kagato: I got better. Now, would you please invite me in? What I'm about to say concerns the continued existence of the entire universe.
Mihoshi: Well, I don't know. It's not even my house-
Kagato: (Interrupts.) As much as it pains me to say this, please?
Mihoshi: (Smiles brightly.) Alright! Since you asked politely and all…
Kagato: (Blinks.) What, that's it? You're letting me, one of the most wanted and dangerous criminals in the universe, inside just because I said please?
Mihoshi: (Nods her head.) That's right.
Kagato: (Spluttering.) But…but…that's ridiculous! This could all be a brilliant and dastardly plan on my part to kidnap and/or kill certain members of the Masaki household, and you're letting me in merely because I was polite?
Mihoshi: (Innocently.) I don't understand what you're getting so excited about. What were you expecting?
Kagato: …To be exceptionally frank, I assumed that to gain an audience with Tenchi I'd have to battle my way past legions of Washu Security Bots-
Mihoshi: They're in for an overhaul.
Kagato: -, maneuver around several devious traps-
Mihoshi: The spikes were rusty, the lasers needed repairs, the bombs required new fuses, and the quantum singularities were bought by Paramount Pictures.
Kagato: -, engage in an impressive, destructive, and drawn-out battle with Yosho-
Mihoshi: He's eating lunch right now. Besides, he's been complaining about his back lately.
Kagato: -, walk in on someone during an embarrassing moment since this is a comedy-
Mihoshi: You could try again in another fifteen minutes.
Kagato: -, and finally get almost beaten into a bloody pulp by Ryoko, saved only by the mercy of this household.
Mihoshi: She's busy fighting Aeka right now, though I'm sure that if you ask she'll be more than happy to oblige you once she and Aeka are finished.
Kagato: Indeed. (Sighs.) Well, this entrance may lack the dramatic flair that I prefer, but mad scientists can't be choosy. (Steps inside the house.) So…where is Tenchi?
Mihoshi: He's in the dining room. Follow me. (They head towards and enter the kitchen.)
Ryoko is about to teleport to avoid one of Aeka's energy blasts when she sees Kagato and freezes in shock. The energy blast hits her and sends her flying through the roof. Washu notices Kagato and spits out her food in shock. Sasami spots Kagato and drops a dish in shock. Tenchi's mouth hangs open in shock. Ryo-ohki falls off the table in shock. Aeka screams in shock. Kiyone is shocked by everyone's reactions (She doesn't recognize Kagato.) They were all shocked, except for Katsuhito who was merely surprised and raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
Mihoshi: Hey everyone, guess who I found!
Kagato: I think they recognize me.
Mihoshi: Really? How can you tell?
Kagato: (Sweatdrops.) How did you ever become a detective 1st class?
Kiyone: (Under her breath.) That's what I'd like to know. (Louder.) Who are you-
Tenchi: Ka-ka-ka-kagato! What are you doing here? I killed you!
Aeka: Yeah, and I was there!
Washu: …Kagato? Why have you come back?
Kiyone: Wait a minute! Kagato, as in A-class criminal Kagato, the destroyer of ruins? (Everyone nods his or her heads. Stars appear in Kiyone's eyes. She speaks quietly to herself.) If I arrest and bring him in I'll be sure to get a promotion! I'll finally be free of (Shudders.) Mihoshi. (Talks louder and commandingly.) A-class criminal Kagato, you're under arrest! You have the right to remain-
Ryoko: (Flies back into the room with a massive ball of energy forming between her outstretched hands.) KAGATO!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!
Kagato: Now now, Ryoko. You have every right to be mad, but let's not be- (Ryoko launches her energy attack. Everyone except for Kagato takes cover.)
BOOM!!!
The dining room is devastated. Dust, ashes, and wood chips are everywhere. Surprisingly, Tenchi, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Sasami, Aeka, Katsuhito, Washu, and Ryoko look none the worse for wear except for some soot stains. The space Kagato was standing in is now completely obscured by a dust cloud.
Tenchi: …I'll go get the wood, hammer, and nails. Dad's not going to be pleased about having to fix his house once again.
Washu: Well, that was certainly excessive of you, daughter of mine.
Kiyone: NOOOO! My promotion…gone!
Mihoshi: Don't worry Kiyone! You'll always have me!
Kiyone: (Stares at Mihoshi for a moment. Sobs.)
Aeka: Ryoko, look what you've done to the house. Apologize at once!
Ryoko: Oh shut up Aeka! It's not like I didn't have a good rea-
The dust cloud obscuring Kagato is blown away revealing a completely unharmed Kagato with three light hawk wings circling in front of him.
Sasami: Just like in my dream…
Aeka: I don't believe this!
Ryoko: Curses. This could make things more difficult.
Kiyone: Light hawk wings? But I thought that…
Mihoshi: Kiyone, I'm scared! (Holds onto her tightly.)
Washu: Aargh! How could Kagato duplicate light hawk wings before me? Has he learned the secret of Jurai? No, he couldn't. There's no way. There's no way he can be smarter than me, Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe! No way…
Tenchi: Aaah! What should I do?
Katsuhito: Tenchi, remember you're training!
Tenchi: But Grandpa, you never covered anything like this during our training!
Katsuhito: …Use the force Tenchi!
Tenchi: (Blinks.) What are you talking about Grandpa? What force?
Katsuhito: I would explain more but dare not for fear of bring the wrath of LucasArts down upon us. (Shudders.)
Kagato: (Grins sinisterly.) Now that I have demonstrated my new powers, I would appreciate being given a chance to explain the current situation to all of you before you try to attack me again. I assure you that all of us, including the entire universe and myself, are in grave peril.
Ryoko: (Angry and practically snarling.) I say we beat the information out of him!
Washu: And how, pray tell, do you propose to do that, little Ryoko? He has light hawk wings. You don't. Let's just hear him out. If we don't like what we hear then I'll just toss him into a convenient blackhole.
Kagato: Thank you, I think. At any rate, I have come to warn you of a dreadful danger that threatens us all.
Mihoshi: Isn't this the third time you've said that?
Kagato: (Sighs.) I'm trying to be melodramatic. Please, no more interruptions until after I've finished speaking. Continuing my story, after my 'death' at Tenchi's hands (Glares at Tenchi for a moment. Tenchi grins back nervously.) my consciousness traveled to a back-up base of mine where a sample of my dna and a cloning chamber awaited. Having discovered enough about Jurai energy and the light hawk wings from that battle on the Souja which several scientific instruments had been monitoring, I then proceeded to alter my genetic structure to enable light hawk generation. Hence my current ability. I could bore you for quite some time with the scientific details but since only Washu would understand what I'm saying I won't even bother. Moving on, as I recovered and learned how to use my light hawk wings I became aware of a great disturbance in the space/time continuum. Investigating further, I learned that something incredibly powerful and ancient was attempting to enter this dimension, and that a rare alignment of the stars that occurs about once every 500,000 years and is scheduled to happen extremely soon will grant this entity just the freedom she desires if the proper rites are performed.
Kiyone: In other words, you died, came to back to life with light hawk wings, and learned that a cosmic entity is trying to enter this universe.
Kagato: (Irritated that Kiyone condensed his lengthy exposition into one sentence.) Yes, to summarize rather bluntly. It behooves us to prevent this event from coming to pass, for if this creature succeeds in entering the universe Tsunami shall be toppled, the status quo permanently changed, and disco will make a comeback.
Katsuhito: Indeed this is an evil of evils. I no longer need wonder what has motivated you to inform us of this and help.
Kagato: (Lacking real feeling.) Oh, I can assure you that I've had an epiphany. I've renounced my former 'evil' ways and turned over a new leaf. My scientific genius shall only be used in the pursuit of truth, love, and justice.
Ryoko: …(Blinks.)
Kagato: (Sighs.) In case you haven't deduced it yet, the writer is determined to make me one of the good guys in this story. I'm not any happier about this than you are, Ryoko, but neither of us have much choice in the matter.
Ryoko: Drat! This means I can't kill you!
Aeka: Drat, Ryoko? What happened to your foul mouth, vile monster woman? (Puts her right hand on her forehead and closes her eyes.) I really need to think of new insults.
Washu: I can answer this one. You see-
Yume: (Suddenly appears and pushes Washu aside.) Sorry Washu, but this sounds like a job for the greatest super genius in the whole universe! That being me, of course.
Tenchi: Yume, what are you doing here? You're a manga character.
Yume: That didn't stop Minagi and Ibara, and if the clones can get in then I, with my superior intelligence, can as well! Mwhahahaha! Anyway, back to my explanation. (A chalkboard with pictures of the TV rating system and various diagrams appears behind her. Pointing at it with a baton she beings.) You see, puny earthlings, the culture of the large continent lying between the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans of this planet has what is termed a 'rating system'. Films, the written word, television, heck – practically every non-physical form of entertainment, must be graded according to its content. The more suitable for children a panel of judges finds the product to be, the lower its rating. Since the author of this story wants to keep the rating low, swear words will be few and far apart.
Washu: (Gets back on her feet.) Yume, how dare you steal one of my lines!
Yume: (The chalkboard and baton disappear.) Oh, get over yourself Washu! It was only one line, and it's not like you don't have a hundred more in other fanfics. I, on the other hand, seem to share the same fate as the other manga characters: appearing sporadically in the mangas and with the occasional reference and appearance in a story. This despite- (Sees Kagato and smiles.) Why hello Kaggie! Long time no see. You still owe me 500 jurai by the way.
Kagato: Since I died before the manga and you are technically not supposed to be in this continuity, I do not acknowledge your existence. Therefore, any debts that would exist between us if your life and character were accepted as canonical are unreal and nonexistent.
Kiyone: In other words, he's saying he doesn't owe you anything.
Kagato: (Glares at her.) Will you stop doing that? By summarizing my verbose responses you're lessening the dramatic impact they have.
Kiyone: Consider it payback for your 5,000-year crime spree.
Yume: Hey, as a former villain who came a lot closer to conquering Jurai than Kagato did, let me add, I must agree with him. Repeating his phrases in simpler terms is just plain mean! It would be comparable to someone mocking your "You have the right to remain silent" spiel. By the way, I'm not letting you escape from your debts that easily Kagato. Hishima, beat him up!
Hishima: (Walks into the room with a powerful and dignified stride.) Master Yume, could you please reword that request? "Beat him up," is so…primitive and crude a command. "Defeat the villainous scientist" or "Show this criminal the error of his ways" are much more likeable to my ears.
Yume: (Sighs.) Why I ever programmed a code of honor into your mind I'll never know. (Collects herself.) All right then Hishima, I command you to exact retribution from Kagato.
Hishima: Thank you Master Yume. (Takes off his cloak and faces Kagato.) Kagato, prepare to feel the vengeance of Master Yume!
Kagato: (Rests his head on his right hand.) Today just isn't going the way I planned…
The two square off, each one sizing the other up. A tumbleweed blows by, despite the lack of wind. A tense moment of silence ensues as the Tenchi 'family' and Yume fade into the background. Hishima is just getting ready to make the first move when-
BOOM!!!